Exactly. Might sound strange in a shitbox challenge but negative quality where it does not matter is unfortunately a way many people are using to be able to put way more expensive stuff in where it counts.
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Yeah that’s why i was confused, i just thought you used the wrong word lol
Spanner’s phone rings
Spanners - Hello?
Female Voice - David? Is that you?
Spanners - Yes, Mrs E, it is. How are you?
Mrs E - aka Gran - Well, not too bad dear. Replacement hip is getting easier to use. Thank you for the flowers.
Spanners - You’re welcome. Glad to hear you’re on the mend.
Gran - Yes dear. Now, about the car in your workshop…and George.
Spanners - Oh…yes, well, erm, ah, hmmmmm…
Gran - He’s not going is he?
Spanners - Erm, no.
Gran - But why not? You got on really well during all of our little adventures.
Spanners - Well…he had that accident…
Gran - Yes, I’m aware of that.
Spanners -And, due to the amount of damage to the 6 other cars…he’s banned from driving!
Gran - Well, yes, I understand but can’t he drive on a racetrack.
Spanners - Afraid not Mrs E.
Gran - Can he come along for the trip…morale support and all that?
Spanners - I’ll have to ask the others.
Gran - GEORGE, PACK YOUR BAGS…YOU’RE GOING TO SWEDEN!!!
phone hangs up
Snap’s phone rings
Snap - Hey Spanners…how’s it going?
Spanners - Not too bad. Sending new pics.
phone pings
Snap - WOW…looks a lot better.
Spanners - Cheers. You remember that kid I told you about?
Snap - Meepey…no, Mopey. That one?
Spanners - Yeah, well I need to talk to you about him…
Spanners phone pings
Crackle - Cool paint job!!
Spanners phone pings
Mopey - YAY!!! I’m going to Sweden!!!
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A question about fuel, my engine is built for regular 91 RON since its old, but in the race can it be filled with 95 or even 98 RON?, since these are common in Europe.
Yeah, you are free to upgrade it to 98 RON. If you can’t get 98 unleaded for that year it is OK to switch to leaded, additives are available after all.
Team If It's Not Punk It's Junk
Team Members:
Iggy Hill
60 year old male, but apparently didn’t get that memo, so he looks and acts more like someone in their mid 40’s. Owner of Iggy’s Punk Venue and Pub in Manchester, UK, has mastered the art of butchering the English language, tends to be difficult.
Fern Hill
29 year old female, lead singer and guitarist of Glee of Vengeance and Iggy’s daughter. Skinny, tall, and lanky. Also a big petrolhead who loves adventure and experiencing new things, has issues with authority.
Alyssa Young
27 year old female born in Scotland. A person of small stature but big personality. Bassist of GoV. Likes: loud music; tattoos; fast cars; strawberries. Dislikes: dress clothes; fake strawberry flavored things; you, probably.
Olly “Ox” Ferguson
32 male, drummer of GoV. Big, built, and bald. Son of an ex London cabbie and inherited a knack for mechanical tinkering. Seldom has much to say, often pulls his band mates out of trouble, enjoys a quiet afternoon with a cuppa tea.
how the whole thing gets started
set to a rainy evening in Manchester, music is wafting out of a basement pub establishment plastered with old posters. A band named Glee of Vengeance is firing through a set of old Clash songs while a lanky old man thumbing through a Swedish automotive website on his tablet. Once song ends with nothing but the echo from the amps ringing in everyone’s ears, Fern directs a comment over to Iggy.
“Oi! Is it just me, or do you think these stacks are getting a little weak? They don’t seem to have the punch they once used to.”
Iggy blows off the question with a vague gesture “I’ll unno, ‘hink i sounded loud enough o me. You probably weren’ playing loud nuff.”
Fern brushes her long, green bangs unsuccessfully from her eyes and squints at her father. Clearly the old man wasn’t paying attention at all. She hops off the stage to confront him, giving the rest of the band a moments breather. With a glare Fern snatches the device from Iggy’s hands.
“Did you not hear wha I said? You’re always like this! Buggar all!”
shes about to throw the tablet in a tantrum when something on the screen catches her eyes
“Hmm, what’s this you be reading old man? Trafikjournalen?”
“Aye kiddo. Is saying they gonna be holding ‘nother “Clunker Run”, a 24 our race for clapped ou’ jalopies and the like.”
Fern’s temper fades away as she reads the article, a sly grin forming on her face. She gestures over Alyssa and Ox, going over the details of the event
“So, what you think mates? I bet it could be fun! It would certainly be a break from this gloomy old place,” she shoots a sarcastic snarl at Iggy who tosses her back two fingers
“Well, a holiday would be a change of pace,” Alyssa resounds while tracing a finger along the tattoos on her arm “I have been feeling a lil’ couped up here as late. But were would we get a car?”
“Oh, no worries on that! Iggy here can spare the quid to get us somethin’, aye old man?”
“Bloody ell, do ya 'hink my knickers are made of gold, kiddo? Bugger that!”
Ox cocks his bald head to the side and responds quietly “Well, you know, my pop has an old car we could possibly make use of.” he pulls his phone from his pocket, flicks through it for a moment before presenting the image to the others “Looks a bit like this.”
“Oi! Be a Cambridge Wyvern by the looks o it,” Iggy states as he peers at the image “Proper Bri’ish sport that one. 'Ame wih a big V6 from what I 'member. Augh be a fast one.”
Fern slams her fist into her palm “Then it’s settled! Glee of Vengance is going up north on holiday! Bloody hell, this is gonna be good!”
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…and this sums up why I love the UK.
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This customized Cambridge Wyvern is as properly British as your customized Markley Corydora (made for AGC24) is all-American. In fact, if you hadn’t entered the Corydora there, the Wyvern would have made a good substitute.
Well, I’m gonna expand on the characters here, I guess. No point editing the old post.
Also, all images were created using This Person Does Not Exist
The Rogue Traders
Estelle van Maserin
Driver Number 1
26, She/Her, GBR
Estelle is a bit of an airhead. She knows how to drive, she can drive well, but sometimes things go a little wrong. Maybe she misses a turn, or doesn’t go when it’s green, sometimes might accidentally double park on her own at 2am in a Tesco parking lot. Often, it isn’t her fault. At least according to her.
Luci Wightson
Driver Number 2
25, She/They, GBR
Of the three drivers, Luci is the only one who actually saw the car before purchase. Luci is probably the best driver of the bunch, they have their own track car, taking it to track days and whatnot. Maybe it’ll do them well, maybe not? Knowing how to nail a lap is something she can do anyway.
Claudi Amarello
Driver Number Three
26, He/Him, ITA
Claudi is an fine arts student, so he knows how to put stickers on a car. He’s someone that drives because it’s the convenient thing to do, he doesn’t have a car because he likes one. He’s here because Estelle told him it’d be a fun weekend doing some racing. He didn’t know what he was driving, or what he’d have to actually do.
Axell O’Brian
Mechanic/Support
25, She/Her, IRL
Axell cannot drive. Axell, however, has been working in her dad’s autorepair shop since she was sixteen. This means that, due to being Luci’s friend, she has been drafted in to play Mechanic for the event. What she has done in the time between seeing the car, and having to be at the track, is made a custom front bumper, a flimsy side pipe, a roof scoop for cabin cooling, and some rock sliders just in case. Axell also knows everything wrong, but is refusing to tell the others what is.
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Team Oxracers, Ep. 3: The die is cast (and so are the engine components)
Worst headline pun ever?
Previous post (including a link at the bottom to who my team is inspired by)
Upon arrival, the first thing Jane does is put the Kando on the hoists in her garage to inspect it top to bottom.
“How are you going to modify it?” wonders Mary after Jane had her first intensive look around (and underneath) and had taken some notes.
“I have my ideas of course, but first, we need to make some rolls, of course. Techpool and quality.”
Michael enters the room with a die and instructions in hand. “I brought you something.”
“Thank you.” Jane picks up the paper from Michael and reads: "Make two separate rolls for each engine and trim component. The first one determines techpool: 1d6+1 with five as the maximum. The second one determines quality with 1d6-1 as the maximum. " She thinks for a second. “Nice. So everything above 4 is max techpool, or, in other words, a 50% chance for max techpool. And quality is linear.”
“That works.” Michael is happy for a change. “Now roll something good, please.”
“Engine family first… Four. And another Four.”
“So that’s a… +5 in engine family techpool?” Michael wonders after some quick calculations in his head.
“Yes, the maximum. And up to +3 in family quality”, Jane confirms. “Next, bottom end. Five! Another +5 techpool. And a useful one. And Three for Quality. Not great, but have to do.”
“Aren’t Seongu engines these weird undersquare ones?” wonders Michael.
“Yes. Engine architecture dating back decades. I think they initially cut a pre-war I6 in half or something and stuck with it. You can’t rev it - so it’s gonna be a turbo for us, one way or another.” Jane rolls again. "Two. And Three.“
“So +…3 for top end techpool?”
"Yes. Which isn’t that important for a turbo… which is next. Three… and Four!“ Jane announced.
“+4 turbo techpool and +3 quality, not too bad. Next is… Fuel system?”
“Yes. A Five! Gonna be useful for reliability. And… Yes! Six!”
“Nice. Critical success! What does that mean?”
Jane has to consult the sheet of paper again. “You can make a somewhat unrealistic choice.”
“And what would that be?”
“I don’t know yet. But I’d be happy just about the +5 quality option for fuel system. Always important. Looked pretty good under the hood, too, so that works out.”
“Last is exhaust?”
"Yes. And… a Two. And Four. Bummer. I like exhaust stuff for cheap quality. “
Meanwhile, Corazon has entered the garage as well, just in time to silently observed Jane rolling and Michael commenting on success and failure of the engine components. Mary meanwhile has moved to a workbench on the opposite side of the garage to draw what looks like large letters on half-transparent paper.
“Okay. Now chassis. Techpool first. One!” Jane exclaims, more enthusiastically than appropriate for the roll.
“Oh no!” Corazon exclaims. "Critical failure!“
“That means…” Jane reluctantly glances at the sheet of paper next to her. “You have to set techpool to +2 or lower and quality between -2 and 0 so that the sum of the two is 0 or lower.”
“Oh no”, Corazon repeats, clearly too quickly after Jane’s statement to be able to properly understand the quite convoluted rule. “And the chassis is the most important part of the car.” He states the obvious.
“Further”, Jane continues. “You cannot change any settings compared to the base car, unless stipulated by the rules for the challenge, or unless you roll a critical success for that component later on.”
“So we are stuck with McPherson fronts, Torsion rears?” Michael asks increduously.
“For the time being, yes. And we are stuck with the rust that’s I’ve seen on the chassis, as well, of course.”
Is that what the Oxracers will have to roll with?
Corazon and Michael exchange worried glances.
“If I am not mistaken, we are also going to be severely constrained by the ET limit”, Jane adds. “Chassis is expensive. So this was the worst possible time for the first critical fail.”
“Carry on!”, commands Corazon, undaunted.
“Nah, I think I’ll need a break for a while. Think I’ll have a good second look at the engine in the meantime.”
“Most things I can live with”, Michael mumbles while Jane is off to lower the Kando from the hoist. “But not the chassis failure, that’s going to suck!”
Meanwhile, Mary at the other end of the garage ponders where to place certain letters of their sponsorship for maximum effect…
OOC: Could that be an idea for a future challenge? People roll 1d6 on techpool and quality and have to work with that? Sounds like a bit of a nightmare to organise though…
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My first thought: “this is weird”
Seconds later: “Uhm…two headed wolves… nevermind.”
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probably
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Team Slow
Previous parts.
Part 0: Prologue
The 2022 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker challenge (OPEN FOR SUBS!) - #34 by interior
Part 1, It will make it to the races, maybe?
(OOC: This one is rather short.)
After giving the shitbox some tuning, we decided to go inspect the car, the issues were SHOCKING, For one, the vehicle was probably too rusty to be roadworthy, but the patchwork does its wonders, well, for the duration of the race, Matt complains about the gearbox whine whilst Izzy implies straight-cut gears do whines. As they went to a stop, they noticed fluid leaking from the car, It’s power steering.
The team decided to back to the garage till they noticed the engine RPMs going up and down, not even at redline.
Matt: The gearbox is… Questionable,
Izzy: But, shouldn’t we be more worried about the rust?
As Izzy starts having a look at the vehicle she says “I think this car wasn’t a good candidate” as she puts down her flashlight onto the toolbox. “Even that old Japanese luxury car I used to have wasn’t as rusty as this.”, Matt replies to Izzy as he looks at the oxidised connectors.
“Be careful with those”, he shouted, As he went to see if the front suspension works properly by shaking the vehicle “It’s a lost, cause?” he said. Izzy replies back with a "In this kind of racing we don’t worry about that, don’t you remember Shitbox Rally?. Matt says back to her “Oh right, the other cars had issues too. Oh well, it’ll live.” Some time passes, and they both agree to keep the vehicle for the whole race.
Izzy: I guess we got no other choice but to race with this.
Matt: We should make the best out of it anyway.
Izzy: Sure.
Matt: You really are wanting to drive in this clunkers race, I’m seeing it right now.
Izzy: Yeah, I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, but I was busy.
Matt: Busy? You’ve been sitting there on that couch all day
Izzy: That’s besides the point, We can see how well it performs on the day the race starts though!
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Team Schrott Racing
Part 0: Prologue
Crew
Driver 1: Edvīns Caune 22
Athletic, 179 cm high. Might not know much about mechanical part of cars, but likes them since childhood. Is a good driver on paved road. He is the initiator of the idea and brought the different people in the team together.
Driver 2: Jēkabs Helmanis 22
Chubby, 175cm high. He is friends with Edvīns since first grade and both grew up in the same town. After 9th grade he studied as mechanic in technical school, isn’t that good of a mechanic, but fairly good driver especially on dirt roads.
Driver 3: Markku Korhonen 24
Muscular, 185cm high. He met Edvīns and Paula in a bar, while they were on a skiing trip in Finland. Doesn’t speak much, let’s his driving do the talking. Has a heavy “Rally Finnish” accent. Is a bit of a “Dudesons” fan and always up for crazy s*it.
Reserve/Logistics: Paula Vintere 21
Athletic, 172cm high. Girlfriend of Edvīns, both met as teens in local sports event. She studies physiotherapy and likes extreme sports, always up for a new challenge. Thinks she is a good driver, but is more aggressive than good. She is organized that’s why everyone elected her to do the logistics on the trip.
Mechanic: Daniels Jansons 18
Slim, 183cm high. Studies as mechanic in the same technical school as Jēkabs once did. In contrast to Jēkabs he is a good mechanic some say even a prodigy. Can get a bit unchained when drunk.
All faces are ai generated by https://generated.photos/face-generator/new
Latvia, Rīga, Small apartment near city border
Edvīns: Sitting on the couch, surfing social media “Hey Paula did you see the ad on this years Clunker race in Sweden?”
Paula: Sitting by her desk, turns to Edvīns surprised “The What?!”
E: “A 24 hour race with old junk cars on their last breath”
P: “First time I’m hearing of it.”
E: “I think it would be cool to take part, and Sweden isn’t that far.”
P: “You know I am up for any new challenge, so why not”
E: “Ok that was quick, I thought it would take longer to convince you.”
P: “Well it sounds cool, but if it’s 24 hours don’t we need more drivers and even a mechanic?”
E: “I am already texting Jēkabs.”
P: “I hope he is not the mechanic of your choice.”
E: “Come on, I don’t really know anybody else who can drive and repair at the same time. Ok lets say he is on reserve list of mechanics, that I can admit”
P: “Ok, by the way what’s with the Finnish guy, Markku, we met on our trip? He said he likes racing.”
E: “Oh yeah, have to call him up too.”
E: Phone buzzes “Ok Jēkabs will come by after work, so we can discuss everything”
E: Opens contacts tab on phone, scrolls till finds “Markku the 5th Dudeson”. Presses “Call” ''Hey Markku"
Markku: “Helo”
E: “Have you heard about the 24 hour clunker race in Sweden this year?”
M: “No”
E: “But it’s next to you in Sweden?”
M: “Eksaktli”
E: “Oh got it, you and the Sweden, I think you told me that story, but would you race with us? Maybe get revenge?”
M: “Ok.”
E: “Ok see you!”
M: Hangs up
P: “Is he in?”
E: “Yup.”
To be continued…
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Team Oxracers, Ep. 4: If life gives you a lemon … roll with (and for) it
After a short while, Lucas joins the other three when Jane wants to continue the rolls, this time for the trim components. Meanwhile, Mary is still frantically drawing lines and curves on large sheets of paper at the other end of the garage.
Jane announces: “Okay, let’s start with the 1d6 rolls for the chassis components. Thanks to the critical failure earlier, the only thing that matters is a 6, so that we can at least change the component if we want.”
“And we need to”, Michael emphasises. “This is prime shitbox suspension.”
“Alright, here goes nothing.” Jane sounds a bit more enthusiastic than she perhaps has the rights to be. “Two… Four… Five… Three… Six! Yes!”
“That’s for front suspension?” Michael asks hopeful.
“Ye-hes. No McDonalds for us… erm… MacPherson… if we don’t want to.”
“And we don’t want to, right?” wonders Lucas.
“Noo, we most certainly don’t want to”, answers Michael.
“And… Two - for the rear suspension. So we have to keep everything, including the rust-on-the-steel, but can swap out the front suspension for something more useful. I’ll make sure to get some parts.”
Jane rolls again and stares for a while at the top of the die.
“What is it?”
“Another Critical One”, Jane admits sheepishly. “Car body techpool. And that with all the rust and patches already in place.”
No changes here for the Oxracers, unfortunately
“You are bad at this!”, Corazon exclaims. “Let me roll!”
Jane holds the 1d6 die far up in the air, out of easy reach for Corazon. “Your job is to drive. My job is to make this thing fast. So let me do my job!”
“Fine.” Corazon folds his arms and pouts.
“Now car body quality: Three. Not that it matters as 0 is essentially the maximum after our crit failure for car body techpool. Next, drivetrain. Five! And Two.”
“That’s better”, Michael states. “At least the techpool.”
“And at least not another critical failure!” Corazon is still sulking and starts to get bored to boot.
“And important since this thing at needs a LSD and different gearing. The quality rolls will hardly matter from now on anyway. I suspect the front suspension swap will eat almost all ET that we are allowed… IF we can actually make the swap work under ET restrictions.”
“Sacrifice everything for that, if necessary, please”, pleads Michael.
“Sacrifice. I like the sound of it”, states Jane, a bit too gleefully and reminiscent of an entirely different context before she returns to a more relaxed tone. “Wheels next. Another Five. And… critical 6!”
“Wohoo - where the rubber meets the road!” Corazon’s mood swings from one extreme to the next in an instant. “What does it mean?”
Jane repeats the rule for critical success on quality rolls from earlier. “You can make a somewhat unrealistic choice.”
“And what’s that going to be here?” wonders Michael.
“Well…” Jane starts. “Do you think there are many types of cheap wide low-profile 13 inch tyres out there? And we’ll need all the grip we can get.”
“Fair point”, Michael concedes.
Jane continues. “Okay: Brakes. Four. And another Four. So another max techpool, at least.”
At the other end of the garage, Mary has now moved on from hasty pencil sketches to careful drawing on half-transparent paper for her work on ‘sponsorship’ for the race.
"Aero. Five! Yes - spoiler time! And… Boo. Critical failure on aero quality. "
“Did we have that before?” wonders Corazon.
“I don’t think so. All my crit failures were for techpool so far.” Jane has another look at the sheet of paper next to the die on the table. “You have to set the maximum negative quality allowed, so -2.” She frowns.
“Did they actually make body kits for this… fridge?” Michael sounds very skeptical.
“If they did… my friend Ludo* will either have one in his junkyard storage area or know where to get one.” Jane sounds reassured. “Not that it will matter much with -2 in aero quality.”
“True.”
“Now Interior. Four for techpool.”
“At least I’ll be comfortable when driving.” Corazon also sounds reassured.
“Or so you think”, Jane counters. “And… Two for quality. Not that it matters, because I am going to gut everything anyway!”
Michael is a bit taken aback by Jane’s gleeful announcement. “Add lightness?” he suggests meekly. Corazon suddenly looks less reassured.
Jane continues undaunted. “Steering… oh no! Critical failure again! And… Critical success for quality! How do these two rules go together then? Max techpool… 0? And quality -2?”
“That one shouldn’t matter either way”, Michael stated. “I drove it here, and it was quite light to begin with, even without power steering. Or ABS.”
“So there is one thing you like about the car?” Jane retorts. Michaels answer is a dead stare.
“Okay, safety”, Jane continues. “And another Critical One! And a Two.”
“So we all are going to die?” Lucas wonders, with a worried undertone.
“No, only the person who crashes the car while driving”, Jane corrects nonchalantly. This does little to assuage Lucas’ fear.
“I am going to rip out all of the few safety features this thing actually has anyway to ‘add lightness’”, she announced enthusiastically, with a side glance to Michael. “So this doesn’t matter, really.”
Michael agrees. “Rust does not give much impact protection either.”
“And, last one, suspension: Three. And Four. Not too bad, all in all.”
“So, and what does that all mean now?” Corazon seems to be really impatient now. “Is the car good or what?”
“It’s going to be good”, Jane assures. “As good as I can make it. Now to take a closer look again and hatch some plans for modifications.” Jane smirks and rubs her hands together.
At the other end of the garage, Mary also smirks as she looks at her first drafts for their ‘sponsorship’.
* A tiny bit of foreshadowing for the next episode perhaps for anyone reading this and being familiar with knowledge of German reality TV / documentary series of the 2000s....
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Could it be?
Summary
Die Ludolfs
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Yes. Too bad I haven’t found anything beyond an English Wikipedia article about them. The rest of the world is truly missing out…
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Added a list of claimed starting numbers in post #1
A little less than a week left now! 
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TRAFIKJOURNALEN WEB
22nd OF SEPTEMBER 2022
After a month of work (well, slow that is), our beige bargain is starting to become race-ready. I mean, what’s needed on such a beast anyway? Some tape on the headlights will hopefully keep them together if the fighting gets too rough. A sawzall and some creative welding made the 60s cast iron pig under the bonnet sing songs of freedom! The brown velour interior bits are in a trash container somewhere, missed by nobody, and replaced by a simple cage and racing seat. Starting numbers, because racecar, and the most beautiful decals the world have ever seen is crowning this beautiful creation.
Get ready to see this on the track, only time will tell if it is a golden nugget or just metallic misery!
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…more…
Bubblegum
by Mons Racing backyard garage project
It’s still pink. It’s still angry. It’s still indestructible.
Mons Racing recently acquired a number of broken down barges and decided to tune them up for various rally/derby/clunker races. And so the line of bubblegum barges was born. Bespoke tuned for each race event, these cars are large, heavy, more or less reliable, and ... not entirely slow. Well, they are faster than when they arrived from the scrap yard in any case.
For the 2022 Trafikjurnalen 24h clunker challenge the driving team consists of three lucky winners of the “Mons Bubblegum Raffle”:
Jorgen Halferson, 24, M
Vanessa Gotel, 28, F
Caleb Ryan, 45, M
They all signed the waivers, so Mons Customs cannot be held liable for whatever happens to them. We have no clue how well they can drive. All we know is: their jaw muscles are well trained after all that bubble gum chewing. 
Additionally, two mechanics from the Mons Customs garage will attend the event, just in case the car needs a tune-up or something. Not that we expect anything to go wrong…
Last but not least, our racing number is 13 113. Something something clerical errors, delays, and someone already claimed our number. No worries, we’ll just paint a tiny additional 1 on there.
All right, here we come!
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