The 2024 Trafikjournalen 24h of clunkers (4AM - 8AM)

To put it this way, how am I supposed to know what the original car looks like? :stuck_out_tongue:

Fiddle with such stuff if you want to, just keep in mind that if it is obvious that it is something that would have been tinkered with (like 32 valve V8 in a small FWD hatchback) that might give some punishments, as well as if you send in something that obviously wouldn’t have been cheap if there was nothing wrong with it…

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[Conversations ranslated from Finnish to English]

Seinäjoki Speed ​​Freaks

You have to picture this scenery. It’s the Summer of 2023, and in the outskirts of Seinäjoki, Finland, on the dirt roads, two old, 2 stroke dirt bikes seem to just be ripping it across the mud and dirt. Two teenagers, both of them wearing their helmets, with license plates nowhere to be seen, seem to just be racing each other on the tracks, while poppi wheelies, drifting their back wheel, and just having some old school fun, as it seems. At a certain point, nearing a house, the two stroke noises and obnoxious blue smoke stop, as the two bikers stop, get off their bikes, and each of them takes off their helmets.

Jani Kyllonen, 17, Student, He/Him - Gay.

Getting off of his high-end tuned moped, is Jani, the youngest of the three. He is easily recognized because of his typical risk-taker attitude, and the fact that he seems to always be holding an Euroshopper energy drink in his hand. He has blonde hair, wears glasses and loves to take risks, usually translating to running from police when on his moped, or making extremely risky moves when driving, both on the public roads (without license), or when on track or on private land. He’s the friendliest and most sociable of the three, but at the same time, often screws up even in simple situations, but he can be of helping hand if and when he wants to. His problem? He always underestimates the seriousness of situations.

Mikko Harjanne, 19, Unemployed, He/Him - Straight.

Riding a 125cc Motocross Bike, Mikko is…quite peculiar, when we’re talking about this trio. Even with his quite young age, being the son of an ex-rally driver clearly gave him some skill. He’s a focused individual, easily the best driver of the three, however, he suffers from severe anger issues, which cause him to often road rage while driving, as well as causing fist fights after a race. He used to be a street racer, racing his heavily modified Gyazu Bayview for money and pink slips. However, after getting caught by police once, he dreams of actually going legit, and he may or may not have found an occasion for him, his close friend Jani, and a friend in common, for the trio to actually go legit. He’s a heavy smoker, so you’ll often see him smoking a cigarette.

Mikko: Jani, wasn’t this friend of yours supposed to wait for us?

Jani: I don’t know? I called him-

Mikko: You called him? So where is he? Voi saatana…you made me come all the way here for nothing?

Jani: Can’t you wait for 5 seconds, dude? Also, what’s this thing you won’t tell us about that you want us to do? Didn’t you stop with street racing?

Mikko: I told you I fucking stopped! I- screw this. He starts lighting himself a cigarette. If this works, we’re going to become professionals.

Jani: Uh…Mikko? The rally is in 3 months, we can’t get a car ready in time, you know that, right?

Mikko: It’s not the fucking rally…sigh…you know Trafikjournalen?

Jani: The Swede car magazine? I fucking hate their journalist. What about it?

Mikko: They’re doing that 24 hour race in October next year. I want to win that race, that, or just place well enough to go professional.

Jani: You know me, wherever you’re going, I’m coming with you. Can I have a cigarette?

Mikko: Suksi vittuun! I know you said that just so I’d give you a cig. Just kidding, have one.

As the two are lighting their cigarettes, the door finally opens, and the third person is finally revealed.

Akseli Vanhala, 22, Mechanic, He/Him - Straight.

Akseli, even at a first glance, clearly doesn’t seem to care about his appearance in any sort of way. He’s a bit baby-faced, has short, brown hair, and is always dirty from working on cars, bikes, boats and agricultural equipment. Even at a first glance, he’s immediately noted as an introverted individual, preferring the mechanical complexity of engines to the social complexity of humans, however, he’ll talk to you if he has to. As for driving, he’s the worst of the three, being skilled, sure, but less than Jani and way less than Mikko. He compensates this with calm, and composed demeanor when driving, compared to Jani’s unpredictability and Mikko’s absolutely manic style, he tends to get back to the pits in one piece. He’s also the most skilled mechanically, able to easily diagnose problems and fix issues with the car. He also likes smoking, as well as beer and energy drinks.

Akseli: Can you not be so fucking loud? My mom’s sleeping.

Mikko: Where did you get this guy, Jani…oh, hey! Your name is?

Akseli: I’m Akseli.

Mikko: That’s it? Just Akseli? Nothing else?

Akseli: What do you want, my phone number? Want to date? Want my size as well?

Mikko: Hey! You talk to me like that one more time, I’m throwing that spanner to your face, understand? Ruskean reiän ritari…painu vittuun…

Jani: You’re getting the fucking spanner to the face you say that one more time! Ai saatana… we’re not here to argue like kids! We have something to do. Mikko?

Akseli: I’m only hanging around this guy because I’m your friend, Jani, understand?

Mikko: Sigh…you know Trafikjournalen?

Akseli: Swede car magazine? I always read it.

Mikko: Yeah, and you know that they’re organizing the 24 hour race next October?

Akseli: And let me guess…you two don’t have a car?

Jani: And that’s why we came to you. Listen, we’re making a team, we want to become professionals…and we need a mechanic. You’re the best I know.

Akseli: And what’s in it for me?

Jani: We can split the winnings! And…if we don’t win, I don’t know, we’ll have fun together? And we can all become professionals? Plus, Mikko here is the best driver I know, you’re the best mechanic I know, and…I can be team manager? I can do a bit of both too-

Mikko: Hold on, hold on, I got the idea, I’m team manager, no questions asked.

Akseli: Will you two stop it? Come with me, I’ll show you the car.

Jani, Mikko and Akseli then started walking over towards Akseli’s garage. Anxiety and excitement were in the air, as the trio was about to see what would be the car that would take them through the 2024 Trafikjournalen’s 24 Hours of Clunkers. They raised the garage door, and under the door, barely shown under a tarp, was a rusted-out, 1998 Sedlak Silva, plated XEM-384 a Czech-built sedan, what was once the cheaper alternative to the German-built 4 doors, seen as it was under the same group, now sat in a shed, ready to either die, or restart life as a budget racer.

Mikko: That? I’m going from a 700 horsepower Gyazu Bayview to that shitbox Sedlak?

Jani: Come on, it’s not like we have another choice-

Mikko: Plus! I don’t drive front-wheel drive cars, you know me. They’re just boring!

Akseli: That “shitbox” has the 1.8 Turbo engine. Plus, it’s the 4-Track model. 195hp and 4-wheel drive. It just needs some work, and we got a racer on our hands.

Mikko: It’s the 4-wheel drive? Now we’re talking…

Jani: Before we start, we need to think of a team name, you know? I still have to submit ourselves and all.

Akseli: Seinäjoki something. Since we’re all from here, apparently.

Mikko: And there needs to be something with speed in the name.

Jani: I got it! What about “Seinäjoki Speed ​​Freaks”?

Mikko: Seinäjoki Speed ​​Freaks…I like it, and it’s a cool name too.

Akseli: Yeah, that works. So…Seinäjoki Speed ​​Freaks, are you ready to get to work?

Jani: Let’s do this!

Mikko: I hate manual labor…

And so, day after day, month after month, our heroes started working on the Sedlak Silva, to hopefully, first of all, get it running, then get it inspected, and then modifying it to hopefully make sure to win the race, or at least place in a decent position. It took them a few months to get the car running again, they had to rid the fuel tank of rust, get new fuel, fit a new battery and clean the injectors which were all clogged up, as well as regenerate the turbine, but this ended up getting the car running for the first time in almost 10 years. Then, just a week later, the first inspection!

Eerik the Mechanic: The car passed, barely. The emissions were right on the limit, but it looks like the car’s legal.

Then, months of thoughts went by as the trio ordered parts, as well as fitting new modifications to the car, such as a used roll cage, cheap bucket seat, cheap coilovers and used Toshikago intercooler, rally lights, cutting up the bumper to fit the intercooler, side mounted license plate, and an exhaust which was just a piece of pipe with a cheap chinese muffler welded to the stock headers. It was loud, really loud, obnoxiously loud. They also had to fit some cheap steelies with used tires on it, because the stock wheels would be smashed up by Jani driving into a ditch.

Jani: Why did we fit the rally lights again?

Mikko: It’s 24 hours, we need to see at night.

Jani: Then why did you put tape on the headlights?

Akseli: Speaking of tape, why is there tape on the front and rear bumpers, why can’t we put a quick detach?

Mikko: We have…basically no budget. Because Jani over here thought it was a good idea to drive the car in a ditch! Now we have steelies, and a smashed mirror.

Jani: At least my car was never impounded by the police!

Akseli: You need to calm down behind the wheel, Jani. Remember when you rear-ended that old lady on the highway with my van?

Jani: Uhh…why don’t we get to work again?

Jani: You know what would be funny? If I put Biltema and Euroshopper stickers on the car.

Mikko: If you’re doing that, I’m choosing the racing number.

Akseli: Please don’t tell me-

Jani: I wanted to put #69…it’s funny-

Mikko: Listen, dude. There’s a couple of guys from Austria that are using some American Cop Car to race. And they’re using #911. I know how to get them mad.

Akseli: Don’t be a kid, Mikko.

Mikko: We’re putting #1312 on the car! Imagine their faces when we pass them…

Jani: Let’s do this then!

Akseli: Why is the taillight smashed?

Mikko: Jani did it.

Jani: It wasn’t my fault! I was pushing the engine hoist and it just…impacted.

Akseli: You two are not working on one of my cars any time soon-

Akseli: Saatana!

Jani: What happened, man?

Akseli: It’s the fucking intercooler! It won’t fit whatever I do!

Jani: What’s wrong with it?

Akseli: Where did you buy this from!

Jani: It’s from a Stella SXR but I don’t know what this means-

Akseli: Of course! You got an intercooler for a totally different car! How can it fucking fit!

Jani: Oh, come on! Just cut the fucking bumper! Who cares!

Mikko: This roll cage looks like shit, why do we have to fit one?

Jani: Rules. We have to have 4 point belts and you can’t have those without a roll cage.

Mikko: I don’t know how to install a roll cage! It’s not even for this car!

Jani: Akseli went to grab beers. Just leave it here, he’ll figure it out.

Months later, just in time for the race, the car returned from a test drive, late at night.

Akseli: Where the fuck were you! It’s 2 in the morning! And how’s the car?

Mikko: I was just testing it out…man, it doesn’t beat my Bayview, but it’s a beast!

Akseli: What did you do!

Mikko: I was doing the top speed run…cops try to pull me over, man, then they start chasing me, I turn on the dirt, I fucking lose them! It’s so fast in the corners it’s crazy! Turned off the lights, they didn’t even see me!

Akseli: You…you ran from the cops with OUR CAR? WITH LICENSE PLATES?

Mikko: Calm down, girlie, I didn’t have plates when I ran. Plus, I lost them…like…20km away from here, they’re not coming, calm down.

Jani: I’m back! I brought beers.

Akseli: Mikko here just “tested” the car against the cops.

Mikko: And it works…man, this thing is gonna make us win so bad!

Jani: That’s amazing to know! Hey, here you two, have beers.

The three raise their beers to the sky

Jani: For Victory! And for the Seinäjoki Speed ​​Freaks!

The beers clinked to each other as they had a toast for their hopeful victory. The day of the race was near, and the trio was as excited as nothing else.

Mikko: Now, we need to get the car to Sweden. We need to see the track, and hopefully meet our competitors. Especially the wannabe cops, I want to meet.

Akseli: I can tow you with my van…nevermind, it’s 4-wheel drive. Wait…I can borrow dad’s flatbed truck!

Jani: So, what’s the plan for race day?

Mikko: We do what Finns do best. Be aggressive and win.

Akseli: No. We need to save fuel, it’s 24 hours, and we must not smash the car.

Jani: You know me, just give me a pack of ES in the car, I’ll be up for 24 hours.

Mikko: Let’s fucking do this then. We’ll destroy them.

Roleplay introduction by: me, myself and I

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! WARNING ! This text doesn’t reflect reality in many ways, lots of shortcuts are taken. See this as arcade rolepay or something… Thank you for your understanding.

Team name : HeltR SkeltR & Marcel

  • Romain Frémont

He is a 26 years old traveller from France. He is not a natural born pilot, but he is a hard learner, very technical but not very fast. He is comfortable driving at night and in the afternoon. Don’t talk to him about mornings though.

  • Rémi Le Bec

He is a 20 years old traveller from France. He is a natural born pilot, very fast and efficient. But he is also a poet, and easily distracted, leading to more or less disastrous situations. He is comfortable driving at night and in the morning.

  • Robert Marcel

He is a 38 years old mechanic from Nairobi (Kenya), nicknamed Papi. He is a good pilot, but he drinks a lot to forget he took too much psychedelics in his younger days. He is not very technical but he is incredibly lucky, compensating his time losses by daring cuts and jumps. He is comfortable driving during the day, darkness of the night can cause him to hallucinate.

  • Mary Marcel

She is Robert’s daughter. She helps him in his workshop, including driving cars to make place. That has made her comfortable with the driver’s side, although she has no experience in racing. She is shy, very careful and impressionable, although once in a good mood, she can also be a cold revengeful danger.

Story :

In 2019, Romain and Rémi with their buddies from the HeltR-SkeltR sound system went in a road trip to Morocco. They did rave parties in the desert for a year, then some went back to France, and some went further south, and then east, through Algeria, Mali, Burkina Faso, Benin and Nigeria. There, they did some bad encounters. One of them died from a gunshot, leaving Romain and Rémi to flee for their lives. They ran through Cameroun, the Congos, Ouganda, and Kenya, where they met Robert this year in 2024.

After a few weeks spending time together, Robert told Romain and Rémi about his dream : “the Trafikjournalen 24h of clunkers”, a shitbox cars race up north in Europe. He planned everything since 2003, when the airport he worked in as a taxi driver went closed and abandonned. He hid his 1982 Brunelle 500 CR, claiming a theft, and started to work on it to make it a racer. He bought a replica of the 500 Superturbo’s race interior with a roll cage, as well as a DCOE carb which replaces the original 2 barrel, he choped out the catalytic converter and the first muffler, keeping the second one to avoid drawing to much attention. He was working on the engine’s top end when he had to abandon his project because of the numerous debts he piled up over the years. He then had to move to the capital, leaving his dream behind him. All he needs today is $1500 AMU to start again.

Romain and Rémi are absorbed by Robert’s story and seeing a way out of here, they decide to help him. They give him the money and start working on a plan, naming the team “HeltR SkeltR & Marcel”, distributing driving shifts, etc… A week later, Robert comes back with a brand new watch and sunglasses, displaying a wide smile on his face. He tells them the car is ready, but that he will travel by himself in his car, as he dreamed for so long. They would just have to meet again in Sweden, were the race takes place. Romain and Rémi begin to be dubious, and they ask for a guarantee. Robert removes his sunglasses and look at them is the eyes, trying to judge their morality. He calls someone who appears through a curtain behind him. Mary, Robert’s daughter will travel with them in their van. Romain and Rémi stay voiceless but quickly accept, as this guarantee works both ways. They all shake hands and go see the car together.

They park the van inside the airport, near the car. It is in a rough condition, but the doubt disappears when Robert puts on a show on the runway. They shake hands again and Romain, Rémi and Mary take off with their blue van, slowly going north. Robert in the meantime, goes in a hangar, grabs a bag, sniffs something out of it and goes back to the car. Here’s a montage of his trip :

High quality here : https://youtu.be/71zJLxFyY7Y

When they finally meet in Sweden, Robert is exhausted but happy. He falls unconscious and sleeps for 36h straight. Meanwhile, Mary drives the car under cover from Romain and Rémi, who spent all the money they had left. They graff the car “HeltR SkeltR & Marcel”, stencil “HSM” and the number 604 they chose for the race, do some fine adjustments together and train themselves on gravel tracks with the car.

HeltR SkeltR & Marcel thank their host,
and are now ready to race in the 2024 Trafikjournalen 24h of clunkers.

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IMPORTANT INFO: DRIVER PROFILES

I have added the possibility to make driver profiles now.

It is TOTALLY volountary. If you don’t fill this in, I assume all your drivers will be at default. (3 all around, which means no saving throws, or the opposite, will explain that further down)

For every driver you have, you will get 12 points to assign however you want, as long as all the stats are between 1 and 5. So, let’s say that you have three drivers, then you will get 36 points. But you can still make one driver that has 1 point on everything, and one driver that has 5 points on everything, as long as the total sum is not above 36. But that’s the reason why we have a control number in the spreadsheet. As long as that one equals 12 or lower, it is all OK. Yes, you don’t have to assign all the points you get, if you for some reason wants to roleplay as a really crappy team or something, even if I of course recommend you to use them…

Here are the stats that is possible to change:

CAUTION - basically affects your possibility to avoid getting tangled into other peoples troubles, or to lessen the effects of it. At the start of every 2 hour period a roll will be done with the D6. If caution is at 1 and the D6 shows 1 or 2, or if caution is at 2 and the D6 shows 1, you will be less good at avoiding hits for those two hours. If caution is at 4 and the D6 shows 6, or if caution is at 5 and the D6 shows 5 or 6, you will be better at avoiding hits for those two hours.

AGGRESSION - Dice rolls will work as for caution. 1 or 2 aggression and the laps will have a risk of being a little bit slower. 4 or 5 aggression and the laps will have a chance of being a little bit faster. Sure, the lap times are probably calculated with a “perfect” driver, but eh, let’s forget that for now.

SKILL - Dice rolls will work as for caution. This affects the risk of getting you (and for that matter others) into trouble to start with. 1 or 2 skill and you will risk being more crash/skid-prone for the 2 hour period. 4 or 5 skill and you will in best case have a lower risk to get into crashes or skids.

MECHANIC - This one will only work slightly different. Since it is counted with that every non driving person is into the pits, I will use the average of all of them here, and yes I have a method for counting with the decimals if those will exist, so don’t worry. But if the mechanic skills are low, there is a risk that the pitstops will take longer, and if they are high, there is a chance that they will be quicker. In general, the dice rolls works the same, though.

FILLING IN THE SCHEDULE
You can swap drivers after a 2 hour period. You don’t have to, you can keep to the same driver longer if you want to. Just try to keep it as even as you can for all the drivers. I know that it might be hard with some sizes of teams to make the schedule TOTALLY even, but I don’t want to see one skilled driver in the car all the time and then a bunch of skilled mechanics in the pits all the time…

CAN I FILL THIS DATA IN BEFORE DOING MY TEAM PRESENTATION IN THE THREAD?
Yes. I will only care about this being properly done when the deadline has ended. If it is flawed, I will try to reach out to correct you, and if there is no luck, I will just set everything to default.

PLEASE CREATE A NEW TAB WITH YOUR USERNAME ON IT, COPY THE ORIGINAL SPREADSHEET AND PASTE IT INTO THAT TAB, BEFORE FILLING STUFF IN!

Thanks to @Madrias for helping me out with this system.

6 Likes

Question: if the car was made before 2014, do i still set my trim year to 2014?

2014 or older, is what the rules says. So older is OK, just not newer.

Team PhirmEggPlant presents our (my) entry for the 24H or clunkers event

old version


Updated Version



It started as a 1982 Mishuto Ninja, long gone was the 1.4 engine and trans so we swapped it our for a late model (1994) 1.6SOHC version and bolted a turbo from a (notta) Jetta and mounted 17" rims from a 2006 (notta) Saturn. we did not have time to get the ECU reflashed but we did bore the block .030 do to the 286,xxx mile the donor engine had. the exterior was modified before we got it to make it a dragster so the wheel fitment is a little off, but we did score that outlaw spoiler off marketplace for 50 bucks and hauling off junk for some old lady! the seats are from the same car as the rims because they looked cool and fit with the roll cage.

24H24-Phirmeggplant_-_Mishuto_Ninja.car (28.4 KB)

updated .car

24H24-Phirmeggplant_-_Mishuto_Ninja.car (35.6 KB)

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i was asking because it seems fairer to set all the cars to the same model year, and have their age implied (you can always fit a diff/some new suspension for a race)

TEAM TRAFIKJOURNALEN - PART 0.1 - PRE RACE PLANNING
Many people are already familiar with the team by now. In case you’re not, here comes a quick presentation:

MATS HANSEN
The captain slow of the team, but the most skilled mechanic of the bunch. Likes offroading, worryingly enough, and thinks IP is the only car brand worth owning.

ERIK CARLÉN
The skilled racer of the bunch, that knows that sometimes staying on the track at a reasonable pace beats ending up in a barrier somewhere at mach 3. Likes italian cars and motorsports.

FILIP ANDERSSON
The youngster of the crowd that is getting older at a slow by steady pace. That does not mean that he is any less hot blooded or less likely to try to play pinball with the other cars, unfortunately. Has lately been moving away from interest in the tuner scene to 80s nostalgia. That does not mean that he likes the car for this year’s race…


“So, let’s get this straight, huh? First you got us an ARVA Kondor, right?”, Carlén asked Hansen.

“Yup!”

"Yeah, and they were piece of shit cars that were junk to start with?, Andersson continued.

“Yup!”

“AND THEN YOU BOUGHT IT FROM A FUCKING WAR ZONE! WHY?”, Andersson said, losing his temper as usual.

“Nah, I found it on a farm”, Hansen said. “The kids have had some fun with it on the backroads, but grew tired of it, and…”

“If even some farm kids got tired of bashing it on the backroads, was it really a wise investment then?”, Carlén asked.

“Yes, because it did cost me a 24 pack of Monster Energy”, Hansen said.


“Is really ANYTHING working on this shitbox?”, Andersson asked.

“Yes, the drivers door still has its handle in place, so it can still be opened.”, Hansen answered.

“Just don’t tell me that it has the dreaded three speed auto?”, Carlén asked.

“Nah. Why would any farm kids do their outlaw backroads racing with an auto?”, Hansen answered. “Actually it is a 1989 model so it has gotten the 5 speed manual too!”

“Yes, and a V6 that runs like shit, drinks fuel like mad, shakes like a paint mixer and has overheating problems and like 105 hp”, Carlén said, shaking his head.

“Absolutely”, Hansen said. “But don’t forget that all the go fast stickers were included in the price, so we will be the fastest ones on the track anyway!”


A close inspection later, the following conclusions were made:

  • Crash damage on front bumper, front fender and front valance.
  • Grille mesh missing
  • Left fog light lens missing, reflector crappy
  • Turn signal lenses missing
  • ARVA bear hood ornament stolen (because, of course).
  • A somewhat nice hood in the wrong colour
  • Rust damage on more or less all the panels
  • Lots of missing trim pieces
  • Dents on more or less all the panels
  • So-so old-ish discount tyres on very rusty steel wheels
  • Three out of four door handles broken off, but for some reason the one on the drivers door remains. Could maybe have been moved over from the left rear door.
  • One wiper is missing
  • Backup light lenses are missing
  • Trunk is opened with a screwdriver
  • Interior stinks and is dirty (not that it will matter anyway)
  • Chassis components seems to be somewhat sound
  • Brakes seems to work and pull straight, with some life left in them.
  • It is a bit soft underneath, but not at deathtrap levels.
  • Wipers, lights and fan still working, albeit now on switches from Biltema with some dodgy wiring done, which could be said for most of the electrics.
  • The V6 smokes, leaks fluids and runs even worse than it is supposed to do.
  • Gearbox and clutch seems to have some life left in them.
  • Radiator seems to be almost new (maybe courtesy of the crash damage)
  • Badly patched, rusty exhaust.
  • The gas tank seems rusty on the inside and clogged fuel filters might be something to count with.

All in all, a very nice and unmolested example of Archana’s 80s luxury car for the people more equal than the others!

8 Likes

I forgot the inspection list, here it is :

  • Heavily rusted body
  • Lightly rusted chassis
  • Missing all door handles except the driver’s
  • Heavy duty tape to keep the doors closed (they won’t open completely without a signifcant body deformation helping)
  • Trims are uncomplete (FR door, RL door)
  • Front bumper misplaced (also license plate), Rear bumper slightly misplaced
  • Right headlight malfunction
  • Right tailight malfunction
  • Left reverse light malfunction
  • Rear right indicator’s glass broken
  • The engine has been modified as a race engine almost 30 years ago, when it served already more than 200 000 km. It has not been used a lot since then but has been re-ran in by Robert during his road trip from Kenya to Sweden… So to put it clearly : although it’s a tough and reliable engine, it’s been used quite a lot, and not the most healthy way.
  • Same story for the original gearbox and overall transmission. It’s very reliable to begin with, but has been mistreated quite a bit.
  • All hoses are old. Still working for now though.
  • Tires are new-ish (found in good condition at the nearest junkyard).
  • Brakes were new 12 000 km ago.
  • Wiper blades are new.
  • Wheel alignment has been done and all the fluids have been changed and filled up.
  • A strange cheese smell in the passenger compartment.
4 Likes

Inspection list for the Seinäjoki Speed ​​Freaks’s Sedlak Silva

  • Underside of the car is heavily rusted from sitting for years in a damp garage in rural Finland.
  • Body is facing medium quantities of rust, especially on the skirts and on various panels.
  • Airflow to the intercooler is non-optimal due to it being bought from a salvaged car.
  • Front bumper cut up to fit the intercooler.
  • Cheap steelies fitted in place of the original wheels, with used tires, leading to un-optimal grip.
  • 4-wheel drive system is somehow working fine.
  • Worn-out shocks because of intense usage on dirt roads.
  • Brake pads are new, howevers the rotors are lightly scratched and make a whistling noise.
  • Driver side mirror smashed and at risk of falling.
  • Driver side taillight has smashed glass.
  • Misplaced front license plate (possibly to compensate for lack of airflow).
  • Driver side foglight covered by license plate.
  • Dodgy wiring for foglights and Biltema switches to activate them.
  • All the locks and the ignition are worn out, car can be potentially started with a screwdriver.
  • Extreme droning noise in the cabin due to the straight-piped exhaust.
  • Possible exhaust leak due to dodgy welding, terrible back pressure.
  • Engine has 314’000 km, is well-worn and is a complicated german-built unit.
  • Turbocharger has been rebuilt twice.
  • Clutch plates slightly worn out, you can hear it slip between first and second.
  • The trunk is full of energy drink cans and beer bottles, a case of ES energy drink is always carried inside of the car.
  • Gearbox works fine with no problems at all.
  • One windshield wiper out of two works.
  • The roll cage is NOT for a Sedlak Silva
  • Traction Control fuse is missing (possibly the guys took it off so they could slide 24/7)
  • Head gasket in unknown condition (not to worry, they have about 10 replacement parts)
  • The alternator belt SQEAKS BADLY
  • Police could recognize the car because Mikko had some fun “racing” against them.

All and all, it’s basically the 2020s version of My Summer Car’s Satsuma

3 Likes

Team Off-the-Books

An international, intergenerational team of colleagues from Flint Motors and its European subsidiary, Constellation Motors, come together for a very-not-company-sanctioned effort to pilot a 90’s full-size Flint “sport coupe” that hasn’t been driven in several years and might have been used for farm chores before that.

Hans Gustavson

Gustavson 3 - Copy

5 skill, 3 aggression, 3 caution, 1 mechanic. Now a marketing executive for Constellation’s Swedish operations, Hans drove a Flint Contender as a professional driver in German Group A decades ago and drives with a philosophy of taking opportunities when they are presented, but not forcing them. He knows the basics around a garage but has mostly left the wrenching to the pros.

Samantha “Sam” Prescott

Prescott 2

3 skill, 5 aggression, 1 caution, 3 mechanic. A junior engineer at Constellation’s headquarters in Britain, Sam is a talented amateur racer whose philosophy is that she would rather crash trying to win than finish in the middle of the pack. She is a trained engineer who knows her way around a garage but lacks the depth of experience of some other engineers.

Henry “Hank” Richmond

Richmond 3

1 skill, 1 aggression, 5 caution, 5 mechanic. A senior safety engineer at Flint’s U.S. headquarters, Hank enjoys restoring and racing old cars, with much more of an emphasis on the restoring than the racing. With his deep knowledge of everything that could potentially go wrong and his habit of trying not to scratch the paint on his lovingly restored cars, his main talent on the track is staying out of trouble.

1995 Flint Sovereign Limited Sport Coupe




After the 1994 Sovereign was criticized for its handling and caught in an overblown scandal about “junkyard” engines, Flint sought to restore the model’s image by rushing into production a “sporty” all-wheel drive coupe with a new engine that was supposed to compete on the European market with the BMW 8-series and the Mercedes-Benz CL. Sales were poor. This particular car came included with a property sale, probably wasn’t driven for several years before then, and looks like it might have been used for farm chores before that. The car runs and drives, the chassis has surprisingly little rust thanks to its corrosion-resistant steel construction, and the team had to equip (cheap) new tires, but pretty much every other component of the car is suspect given its unknown maintenance history and questions about how well the car has held up sitting for a few years.

*Driver portraits generated by Craiyon.com.

3 Likes

Now that everyone is posting the list of faults with their cars, it’s time for Y.E.A.R.'s Qua Kruzar:

-The Wipers are “semi-functional”. Sometimes they work. Although the possibility of them going single-wiper are rather high. Not to mention, they squeak a bit.
-The Body doesn’t show major signs of rusting, bumps or dents.
-The Chassis, for the most part, is rust-free, except a portion in the middle of the chassis, which was almost entirely made of rust, but has been reinforced. Therefore, in the worst case scenario, if they are hit on a very specific spot in the middle of the car at really high speed or with insane force (for example, in a very bad accident), the car could split in half…
-Tires don’t show much sign of wear and tear, but they are quite old. Aaaaaand, as seen with Team Firulais on the Shitbox Rally, that can REALLY be troublesome.
-The Driver’s Side (because they are in Japan, that’s the right side) Door doesn’t open from the outside.
-Electrical Gremlins usually show up.
-The Clutch is surprisingly still going strong, same for most of the rest of the transmission (something they WILL need… Hou has rarely driven with a manual).
-The Engine was swapped one month before the race, and was rebuilt at least twice. It has a semi-fresh radiator, due to the events at the 2024 Shitbox Rally, but, not much else. It’s a rather robust engine, despite what this description may tell. It has got over 478.000 Km on it (almost double what the car itself has), but apart from the rebuilds, not much has happened to it.
-One of the Headlights does Pop Up, but doesn’t light up… or well, it does, just that not really bright. The other one does pop up but lights up a bit too bright.
-One taillight and one reverse light have gone bust completely. And the Rear Right Indicator apparently doesn’t work.
-Cooling… ain’t great. The vents could get clogged up, but it seems somewhat unlikely. Plus, the radiator is almost semi-new.
-Most Fluids are somewhat old. Although fluids in the engine are, at worst, 6 months old, those going to the transmission, brakes, etcetera, can range from as little as 1 year old (for the Transmission Fluid) all the way to over a decade of age (for the brake fluid).
-The Brakes SUCK ASS. No, seriously, this may be the worst braking car present.
-The Steering is a bit cooked up, as it is sometimes very very responsive, and sometimes really vague.
-Only the Passenger Side Window rolls down, and it doesn’t completely.
-One Headlight Lid and the Hood Mismatch… same as the two fog lights.
-The Suspension actually seems to be OK-ish.
-The Roof has been welded a bit… mainly to avoid really serious accidents.
-The Rollcage was Hand-Made, and it ain’t very good quality, but, it’s the other thing which holds the car from snapping in half. It’s sturdy though, so it ain’t that bad.
-The Radio, during testing, shows signs of interference. They did NOT fix this.
-Hey, semi-new rims ! Ehhh, although they aren’t too good either… They even look cheap.
-The Interior ain’t too dirty, nor smelly, but it is surprisingly dusty.
-The Passenger Side Door Opens rather easily…
-The Engine Lid (I will call it like that, because it’s a Mid Engined Car) can be opened with bare hands !
-The Exhaust is somewhat loud, and was placed wrong (facing upwards, not downwards)
-Mirrors in not bad shape, Although one of them doesn’t resist to wind and the other one won’t adjust.
-The Gas tank seems in really nice shape.
-The Car hasn’t passed the Shaken (even though it has to do it next year. Last time it did the test, it somehow passed).
-The Spoiler ain’t from a Qua Kruzar…

The rest are somewhat unsignificant flaws (No A/C, Radio Works rather crudely, Fuel Gauge doesn’t work [had to rudimentally fix that, and it’s somewhat fine], Interior Lights don’t work [another rudimentary fix!], Glovebox won’t shut, Handbrake Lever is surprisingly hard to move.)

2 Likes

Since I will be busy friday evening, I have given you one more day to work on stuff before deadline now.

1 Like

Team Vet Inte - Pre-Signup Part 1

“Can anyone come up with an actually proper team name? We can’t just keep fooling around” Said Rasmus, the man behind the idea of joining this years 24h of clunkers. “I dunno” replied Andreas, who couldn’t care less, but had nothing better to do. And that was it for the team name. What do you expect from a group of 20-ish car enthausiasts and Andreas? Yeah, that’s right.

However, it is rather difficult to enter a car race when the only thing you have is a team name. So after a few days of procrastination, they started looking for a suitable vehicle.

“This thing looks alright” said Martin, pointing at an advert for a 1990 Cago 200 estate. But then Jonathan came back into the room after a snack. “Uncle said he knows someone whose grandpa is willing to lend his old car for free”

They came to a mutual agreement of checking it out. And that’s where it began to go downhill for team Vet Inte.

2 Likes

Question: if my team were to buy the car with some money left over, and then i was to change the exterior so it looked like a race car, would i be allowed to add a splitter/spoiler of there wasn’t originally one present. its mainly for aesthetics because with no numberplate theres basically nothing going on at the front, but if it could be functional aswell id like to know.

And I once again question - how am I supposed to know if there even was a spoiler there to start with? :stuck_out_tongue:

As long as you keep it to no more than one spoiler up front and one in the back, and doesn’t have positive downforce, you’re fine.

1 Like

Team Vet Inte - Pre-Signup Part 2

The old man led the guests to a rather run down wooden shed, that provided little to no weather protection. He picked up the rock that kept the doors in place, and pulled the door open with the help of “uncle”, leaving visible marks on the wet dirt.

In the almost building, there was a car shaped object covered in a sheet of once-was fabric with damp leaves on top. The old man pulled the sheet off, revealing something so old the group had no idea what it was.


The remains of a go-fast stripe and a racing number sparked the curiosity of the young men. “Has this thing raced before?” they asked.

The old man told a fascinating story about the car to the group. Funnily enough this exact car has already competed in the 24h of clunkers, just way back in the early 90s. The car was lucky enough to survive the race without any external damage, as it turns out it broke down on the first lap, and it couldn’t be fixed on site.

Apparently though, it ran when it was parked in said shed with plans to enter it once more the year after. Unfortunately, it didn’t.

“Well, that’s all cool and all, but if something breaks we won’t be able to get any parts for this thing” said Rasmus. The old man then pointed to the very damp cardboard boxes on the shelf next to the car. “You have everything you need there. You can take all of it. I don’t need any of this anymore, do whatever you want with it”

The next day the group pulled up with a trailer and took everything that was inside the shed. As they set off, the shed promptly collapsed.

8 Likes

well, i was basically gonna do my entry as them buying the car, and then a subsequent few entries of them (badly) making the car race-ready. the spoiler definitely wouldn’t fit a stock car is all i will say, but its definitely not for performance either.

Bugs in the Code (help)

(AKA BitC(h))

In a blind idea of now having bodies, and a couple more friends to drag along (it’s a lot of friends), two non-human persons (NHPs) known as Aurora and Eclipse decided the best thing they could do with a bottomless budget was race a shitbox.

Not any shitbox, mind you… Older late 60s American muscle car without a motor, and then an unfitting motor shoved in the front. It’s LOUD, it’s ROWDY, and it’s covered in MEMES (thank you protea and v2 - aurora). There’s enough shit on the car otherwise to disguise the shitty nature of the car, but fuck it. We ball and whatnot.

Please welcome, the 1969 Torrento Providence II… which has been absolutely ruined. (the original owner did not care about it much either tbf - eclipse)


Had to get a replacement boot, doors and hood. Original owner had let them rust to nothing. Couldn’t find a wing, so we just have the exposed bolts. The lower half of the front bumper was effectively useless, so it got torn off and replaced with some junk to look more “race car.” 8L truck motor was shoved in and paired somehow successfully to the 3 speed automatic that came in the car stock. Gearing’s unchanged, bitch makes a lot of torque though. We decided (v2 and protea decided - aurora) to dress it up rather than leaving it plain. V2 had some memes she liked, so we printed them as stickers and stuck 'em on. Aurora spraypainted the number on the doors and roof, and I (protea) cut some holes in the hood and made some direct exit exhausts so this motherfucker is LOUD!

Car provided by @Leone

The Close Up of the Memes.







The Crew

Aurora (NHP)

Green, technically the leader of these gaggle fucks. Sister to Eclipse, Mother to Protea, friend to V2. Of the bunch, the most level headed and likely to take charge when needed. 5ft 6in, and very much the astute of the bunch.

Eclipse (NHP)

Demon-y, the quiet and cute one. Sister to Aurora, Mom to Protea, friend to V2. Slightly more clowny, usually the house NHP of where they live, one of her horns is still broken (not pictured). 6ft dead on, and really just here for her sister.

Protea (NHP)

Yellow, and big-miss military. Loud, Southern, and mean. Daughter to Aurora and Eclipse, “best” friend to V2. The military miss, NHP and vice-admiral of a starship herself, alongside a fleet of… well, herself as pit crew for this event. Calls everyone by a nickname, because it’s more fun than a normal name.

V2 (AI, M90 VEGA architecture)

Character of @Leone

Ourple, short, terminally funny. Friend to all, but very short. Like, 5ft 1in short. She’s a terminal shitposter who really should spend way less time online, but hey, it’s fun. She lives on Protea’s ship and comes down to Earth every once and a while for a good time.

The Pit Crew (Protea)

Pit Crew Images x4




They’re all Protea, she controls all of them. Variety of attachments and colours, but all clearly still Protea. Each one stands at dead 6ft tall, and all they’re here to do is fix the car, change wheels, and whatnot.

6 Likes