The 2024 Trafikjournalen 24h of clunkers (RACE OVER!)

Y.E.A.R.

Description of the Team

Last Episode (“To finish first, first you have to finish”)

Race Episode 2:"Nunavummiut Wonders, María's Nightmare, and a Happy Birthday"

Around 4 PM.

As Ryoga drove, Alexandra, a side member from the Speed Freaks, joined in to conversate just as our Canadian Wonder came along to drive.

The Canadian Wonder, otherwise known as Catherine Jansdatter, got in the car by 4 PM. It took her quite a struggle just to get in the car itself. But still, it seemed like it was all smooth sailing for Y.E.A.R…

Until Catherine would immediately almost eliminate the clean runs by nearly crashing head on with the ARVA. Lucky, her cautious driving was paying off, and she stopped in time, but that wouldn’t avoid her getting scolded by María…

María:“What the Hell was that ?!?”
Catherine:“Sorry, I was trying to avoid a wreck. Luckily I did avoid the wreck. No damages !”
María:“Good, Good, don’t get me any more stressed, Cath, so please just make it to 8 with the car in one piece.”

However, just as dusk began to fall, luck seemed to turn around briefly for our favorite Yumeisotitanian Team. Because, Ángel, who was in charge of the radio after María’s sickness worsened (she went to the bathroom for a while during this time, yet it didn’t solve the sickness), screamed of joy, just as he did when he won that Pokémon Match against Andrés in the Shitbox Rally

Ángel:“OH MAHH GAAAAAWHD !!”
Catherine:“What happened, Milksweet, am I smoking ? Car’s sinking ? Are we snapping ?”
Ángel:“WE AREN’T LAST ! I REPEAT, WE, AREN’T… (Interference for a little moment) !”
Catherine:“Wait… Really ?!? Am I that good !?”
Ángel:“Indeed you are, Honey Bunny, keep it up, great job ! Great Job !”

Yes. They had come out of last place for a brief moment ahead of the Bricksley. Said lead over last would be gone once they stopped for refuelling, but, hey, this moment truly raised some spirits for Y.E.A.R… Even María, who came back from the Bathroom, with her gastrointestinal problems increasing in magnitude, had reasons to be happy by this.

However, another issue began to show as dusk fell: Snap Oversteer. The same problem the Speed Freaks were suffering now was also a suffering matter with the guys from Y.E.A.R… However, unlike the former, the latter had this effect by nature, not by badly made tuning. Catherine would keep things controlled though, for the relief of the team.

María watched from afar, quite nervous. Not only her drive was next, but she’d receive some truly horrifying news when she got a Text Message about 20 minutes before 8 PM. By now, Ángel and María knew that Mikko Harjanne was driving all night, thanks to Alexandra for telling them said information. Due to that, they’d have to be quite careful in the next 10 hours.

And then María checks the message she received. It had seemed to have come from her worst nightmares…

María's Nightmare Source from here on out... (Read for Context, it's short anyway)

???: Miss María Yukobaiyaroslavl.

If you fail to finish under any circumstances (retirement, mechanical failure, accident, etc), you are fired.

Have a good night.

  • The HNJRBC.

Just like that, María was now in true jeopardy, but she was doubtful if telling the truth so everyone would have some mercy with her… Or if keeping on hiding it in order to disallow others to hurt her even more by having said knowledge.

María would have to wait for venting however, as there was another thing going on in the Y.E.A.R. garage. At around the same time, the team celebrated Kanna’s Birthday (which, if you didn’t notice, was on October 5th, which was on race day [I didn’t edit the post to put the changes in Age of both Catherine and Kanna for nothing !]) discreetly in the pits. There’s cake and soda, and people can be invited from 7:45 to 10:20 PM, given how it’s meant to be a relatively short celebration (Kanna’s Birthday Party can be held more comfortably when they are back in Japan, so…).

Ángel saved some cake for Catherine (“Once she comes back, she’ll be really hungry”, he thinks), while Kanna is willing to save some cake for Chanty (who is driving at the moment and won’t come back until 10 PM). María, while conscious of her worsening state of lactose intolerance (with effects starting to become notorious), decided to eat a slice in hopes that would calm her nerves down…

But it was pointless, as Ángel approached his older sister…

Ángel:“Oi, Mari ! You drive next…”
María:“U-Uh… Oh… Yeah.
Ángel:“You sure you feel alright ?”
María:“I… I… C-Can last…”
Ángel:“Remember… You have told us to keep the car in one piece… If that thing arrives here working by midnight, I’ll attempt to buy you some Lactaid before I drive… If I can just find a farmacy here… And then you can stay in peace… Remember, don’t race that Finnish Moron, and if he bumps you… Once you two come back down on the pits, teach him a lesson.”
María (resisting to crying):“W-Wish… m-m-me… l-lu-uck…

The lactose intolerance was peaking. “I’ll go and rest after this drive from hell”, thinks María, as she gets in the Qua with some difficulty when the clock strikes 8 PM. Catherine comes out of the car at that same moment and hugs her tiny boyfriend with all the joy in the world.

They aren’t aware, but, María is on a meltdown… It’s just a matter of time before she can’t hide things anymore.

Current Status of… The Car !

  • Current Damages aside, nothing else.
  • Brakes starting to suffer minimal fade. Nothing done to fix them.

Repairs/Mods/Inspections: None.

Current Status of… The Team.

Ryoga: Tired, but happy and motivated.
Catherine: Really hungry and thirsty. But joyous. About to be swapped out for María Yukobaiyaroslavl.
María: Extremely Nervous and Stressed, Feeling Really Sick due to Lactose Intolerance. About to be swapped in for Catherine Jansdatter. All Stats reduced by 1 in the first half of her stint.
Ángel: Happy and Motivated, but Thirsty.
Kanna: Really Happy.
Hou: Still nervous, tired. Mechanical Skill decreased by 1 for the next stint.

Team Activities: Celebrating a Birthday of a Member (Kanna Yukobaiyaroslavl). Kanna’s Party will be held from 7:45 PM to 10:20 PM on the garages, and people who come can get some cake and soda to eat and drink (notable exceptions for some people who won’t be allowed entry).

They are still playing music over the radio.

Mentioning: @Nicxv, @Madrias, @HappyHungryHippo

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TEAM TRAFIKJOURNALEN - PRE-RACE TO 8 PM

Sorry. I really had 1000 other things getting into the way of finishing this. I hope I can catch up better in the future.

With the IP Brigadier and car trailer for this year replaced by a Sanju LD40 car transporter, our team was rolling with the brown Archanan barge towards Höljes. Filip Andersson complained as usual, meaning that the truck wasn’t much of an improvement. Mats Hansen’s counterargument was that now they could at least listen to the clattering diesel at 90 km/h legally instead of 80, all while some tape with trucking music was barely heard when it tried to kill the dried out early 90s speakers.

Arriving at the track and unloading the ARVA, Filip Andersson took a little look around the pits, and quickly came into contact with the Seinäjoki speed freaks.

“Oh hello, Filip Andersson here, from the magazine’s own team, nice to meet you. Uhm…and I see that your weapon of choice was a Sedlak.”

As the rest of the team was now busy doing whatever they wanted, some of them eating, some playing Venttii and some just wasting time, Jani and Alexandra were sitting with each other, smoking and talking about cars, as it seemed. They were talking in English, and while the girl seemed to perfectly speak it with a slight Canadian accent, the blonde guy was straight up talking in rally english.

*Jani: “Yeah, the new K35R is powerful, but the K40R…another different beast.” *

Alexandra: “Those are really fuckin’ rare and really fuckin’ expensive though. And also really fuckin’ unreliable, but still, my dream car.”

Jani: “Yeah, that V8 is the be- oh wait! Is that the magazine’s team?”

Jani had noticed a member of the official Trafikjournalen team approaching them. And while Alexandra waved at him openly, Jani was definitely slightly less open, however friendly, for a Finn, giving him a slight smile.

Alexandra: “Yo, 'sup. You know, it’s nice to meet you. Alexandra Boyd, the pleasure’s all mine, and we’re the…Speed Freaks, what was the place again? I don’t know Finnish, I’m sorry.”

Jani: Seinäjoki Speed Freaks. Really nice to meet you, I’m Jani Kyllonen, and…yeah. That’s our car, first generation Sedlak Silva, 1.8 Turbo engine and 4 wheel drive model. Found it in a shed…well, Akseli found it in a shed, he’s…there cleaning the truck.

Alexandra: I don’t think 'ya should go talking to him now, unless 'ya want him to last out. He’s pretty…into his little private moments.
sorry for the wait

Filip: Oh, hum…the 4 wheel drive…turbo. Yes. That’s something nice. Do you know what some genius decided we should drive this year? A fucking ARVA Kondor!

Alexandra: An…ARVA? What’s that?

Jani: The real question is, how do you find one that is still alive?

Alexandra: Is it some obscure Euro brand I don’t know about-

Filip: It is a fucking shitbox from Archana that was supposed to be “luxurious”. All it does is shakes and gulps fuel and weighs like if it is carved out of lead. And thiis one is beat to shit by some farm kids already. What are our chances here, you think?

Alexandra: Fuck, I think everyone here’s mostly on the same boat…shit, it can’t be worse than all of the other cars in here.

Jani opened a pack of cigarettes, offering one to Filip. Do you smoke? Want one?

Filip looked over at Alexandra. “Eh, if you don’t know what an ARVA is…you don’t know how bad it is either. Fuck. It has a giant V6 that makes just a little bit over 100 hp. Not even malaise era yank tanks were that bad. And said V6 is made out of some Archanan…alloy…that probably weighs like lead. Fuck. I wish I had your car…”

Looking over at Jani he kindly rejected the offer. “Nah…nothing for me but thanks anyway.”, and left.

The next car he saw was a Mara, that he had mixed feelings about. Knowing that someone else brought a brown, Archanan barge? Good. But on the other hand, Maras were a bit more…progressive…than the Arvas. They probably would drive in circles around the ARVA. A Vortex looked like if it could be worryingly fast, a WAZ? Well, another Archanan shitbox but one that actually could outrun its own shadow. Some cursing in German was heard around some ex police cruiser Globus, there was also a white Brunelle, he stopped to say hello to the team members, but realized he could not stay with every team and talk, so he went further.

There were indeed some mad ass builds too. An Ishii that looked like if it was heading towards a zombie apocalypse. Someone had welded an exocage around a DAW which almost looked like cheating. A Torrento looked like if it was lifted from the FIRESTARTERZ game (see AGC24 for reference). The Hooligans were here this year too with a sad looking Bricksley that maybe could rival the ARVA in shittyness. Some Phoenix pickup looked like if it was close to falling apart too.

A Flint coupé with a powerful engine and all wheel drive could be a strong contender - if the advanced technology would stay together. Some cars looked more like if they had survived some discount version of pimp my ride, like an Astral and a Mishuto. Other cars were surprisingly normal, there was a red Cutter, an equally red Cago, a blue VerBanka that would probably at least be reliable and economical, if not the fastest on the track. And a silver Qua? Well, they were tricky to drive and not very fast, so at least the ARVA could probably beat that one.

Filip Andersson had some arguing with the other team members about that he appearantly acted nervous and stupid just because a girl appeared in the pits, which he of course denied.

Finally it was time for racing, and it was decided that Erik Carlén should take the first hours, at least they could have a chance to get some laps before the car fell apart, with their best driver… It was slow but steady at the start, some gravel was showering it from the spinning Astral at the start, but other than that rather calm. The first drama was once again caused by the Astral when hitting the Sedlak.

Some hours in, however…

BANG!

The ARVA could not really stay in its line when a Flint did hit the rear corner of it. All Carlén could see was the Cutter approaching it, thinking “fuck…”, but at the last second, the Cutter disappeared from his point of view, while a Torrento was passing close to the side window of the ARVA.

"Oh well, that’s just shitbox racing as it is…, he said to himself, managing to squeeze in the ARVA behind the WAZ. Maybe some fatigue was starting to kick in, because not too long after…

BANG!

“Oh shit, there was the Torrento…”, he thought for himself, hearing something on the radio soon afterwards.

“Why did you take your revenge on the Flint out on the Torrento?”, Mats Hansen was laughing.

“Because unlike you I know where the accelerator is!”

Maybe he knew it too well, since he somehow got his revenge on the Astral it seems like, sending the gravel flying over it, when managing to pass it with a powerslide. Fact is, maybe out of boredom he seemed to think that this was turning into some kind of drifting event. He took it a bit calmer for a while, however, after seeing a panicking Catherine Jansdatter almost hitting him from behind with the Qua.

A while later, the ARVA rolled in for its first pitstop.

“Hey, it is holding up well!”, he said to the other team members that started to fill up the tank.

“Yes. And barely outruns the parts flying off it when they do”, Filip Andersson answered cynically.

“WHAT THE FUCK, DID YOU SEE?..”, Hansen was shouting. The DAW with its deathtrap exocage almost turned into a rolling marble on the track.

“Who did ever allow that scrapheap monster to enter the track?”, Andersson said, shaking his head.

With Carlén leaving the pits, the rest of his time racing was rather uneventful. Well, for him at least…

TO BE CONTINUED…

Written in co-operation witn @nicxv

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Part 5: Jan thawing up

in cooperation with @nicxv (Speed Freaks) and @Elizipeazie (Valentin Schrant), mentioning the Interceptors by @AndiD, YEAR by @Angelustyle, Highway Hooligans by @Madrias, TotB by @oldmanbuick and Marians Dream by @tailgate_sniffer

Mikko just couldn´t stop walking in a circle.

Daniel: “For fucks sake, stop making me nervous!”

Mikko: “We are two laps behind these hippos! And that large and heavy car is difficult to pass. We need to get past them before that geezer drives, he might be old, but I looked him up on German pages, he is an experienced and successful amateur racer, unlike that discount rocker.”

Daniel: “Rhinos.”

Mikko: “Oh, there is that fat commie. I have an idea!”

Mikko runs to Jani, violently pulling him aside.

Mikko: “You see that punk walrus there? I noticed that you get along quite well… GET ME THEIR TACTICS!”

Jani: “As the son of a race driver you should know that fairness is important, no, I won´t!”

Mikko: “I know one thing: The victory is all that counts. So, either you get me the information the friendly way… or I will get it from her the unpleasant way… but then I guess, that girl won´t be able to drive anymore…for a very long time, and looking at her, I really don´t want to put my competitions weakest driver out of the competition.”

Jani: “You don´t dare that! And she is not the weakest, you underestimate her!”

Mikko: “So… hurry up. You remember how good my punches are, don´t you?”

Jani did as ordered, confused how to avoid a conflict, and greets Chanty

Chanty: “AAH! Jani, you scared me… my headphones were so loud that I didn´t notice you coming… you look stressed, are you OK?”

Jani: Hey…hey, I’m sorry! I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to…it’s just. Well…I’m pretty stressed out, yeah, you could say that. How are you, by the way?

Chanty: “Worried… because last year was very … eh, … well, my father almost died and Jan too, so, that´s a lot of memories, but … no, I am fine, because this year everything seems to go well!”

Jani: I’m happy for you…glad everything is alright now. But…there’s something I have to tell you, maybe that’s the reason why I am stressed out.

Chanty: “May I guess? It´s Mikko?”

Jani: Yeah…it’s Mikko, heh…am I that predictable?

Chanty “Not you, but he is”

Jani would grab his pack of cigarettes from inside his pocket, then quickly light one, before turning back towards Chanty.

Jani: By the way, do you mind if I smoke? I really don’t want to if you don’t like it.

Chanty: “Eh, give me one, too, I ran out of them because I wanted to stop but… no, I want to smoke again now. Anyway, what´s up?”

Jani: Oh, okay. I didn’t think you smoked…but to be fair, Alexandra is very similar to you and has probably used every drug known to mankind at least once, so, here you go.

He would hand her three cigarettes from his pack, also handing her the lighter so she could smoke no problem, before taking a hit and going back to talking.

Jani: Well…he’s had this stupid idea…he wants me to ask you information on your plans, or else he’ll probably punch me again, then get them out of you. I don’t want you to get hurt and I’m not letting him. Hey…sorry if it doesn’t make sense, I just got up-

Chanty took a deep breath from her cigarette

Jani: I don’t know, he’s probably screaming at Akseli on the radio…as he’s been doing for hours now…

Chanty: “Make sure he does, because he should watch the beginning of your hollywood career. Trust me, I have an idea that might work…”

Jani: An…idea? Wait, what do want me to do? I don’t want to hurt anyone…

Chanty: “You dont have to…Just pretend as If… Give me some light slaps that look dramatic and pull a bit on my hair and such…He will think that you tried your best getting the information.”

Jani: I-I don’t know if I can do this…I am sorry, I really am- I don’t want to hurt you…

He would quickly take a hit off of his cigarette, before glancing at his watch…4:15 PM… some time left until Mikko would be busy driving.

Jani: I have good news and bad news…the good news are, Mikko probably won’t notice that I didn’t get him any information…the bad news…well, he’s gonna be driving all night from 8 PM on… Please…PLEASE, be careful, promise? He’s genuinely scary when he drives-

Chanty: “Oh, you should see ME driving… Its my turn in almost two hours. I will watch out, and… you like Alexandra very much, don’t you?”

Jani: She’s…she’s my best friend…why do you ask me that?

Chanty: “I noticed that idiot has a crush on her… Whenever he comes to close to her, call us for help.”

Mikko was thankfully distracted by a Phone call or such, so Jani had an easy exit out of the unpleasant situation there, without having to prove some acting skills…

When proceeding to Y.E.A.R, Chantal was happy to spot Alexandra, arriving at 4:15 PM. Both felt great about the encounter, hugging each other, having a smoke and exchanging the latest gossip from the teams. While Alexandra warned Chanty of Mikko, Chanty told Alexandra to tell her if Mikko comes too close and she is in the need of help. Even if Alexandra was one of the few people NOT underestimating Chanty and noticing she`s both focussed and courageous behind the insecure and not very intelligent first impression she makes, Alexandra still had a lot of doubt that she could really stand a chance against Mikko, both on and off the track.

At the driver swap, things were a bit more stressful.

Thomas: “Finally. Now, that was not too bad - your task was keeping the car alive and not being too slow to ruin all podium chances… and that´s what you managed. You are hereby dismissed with honors.”

Jan: “Thomas, we are not in the military, and we do not fight a war.”

Chanty: “We do - against Mikko.”

Thomas: “I heard some unpleasant things about him, so I get why you want a duel with him. But you have to promise me: Don´t mess with him, leave that for me. All of my time behind the wheel is shared with him, and I know how to handle these hot-heads.”

Chanty: “I am no longer a little girl, come on.”

Jan: “But don´t push it too far. That guy is crazy, and we better beat him off the track the smarter way.”

Meanwhile, Jan was refilling the tank, while Thomas let the engine cool down a bit and checked for oil and water, which needed a bit of refill for the next hours. The brakes also desperately needed these 15 minutes of cooldown, and Chanty looked towards the other teams.

Chanty; “Interceptors, Chitko, Hooligans, some teams also change drivers now…”

Jan: “Beware of Klackers. He won´t ram you on purpose but he doesn´t make prisoners if you are in his way. That guy is a good driver, but also isn´t right in his head.”

Thomas: “Nothing wrong with a little fighting spirit. Winners are winners because they WANT to win, so does Klackers. I guess midnight to 2 AM will be very challenging, when I am driving against Klackers, Angel, Mikko and Martin from Vet Inte… some really tough nuts to crack then. Oh, it´s time to resume racing now. Chantal, you are ready to sta… HEY!”

With spinning tires, the Globus took off… spectacular show, but not really effective. But now all others noticed that the Globus isn´t doing a coffee tour anymore.

Jan: “I am worried…”

Thomas: “Yes, especially for everyone else on the track now.”

Jan: “You know who is the real danger. I wished you would drive all the time when Mikko is out there.”

Thomas: “That guy does a 10 hour stint. I am already going way above my limit with the 8 that I agreed to do. I am not 30 anymore, I even doubt that I can really do these 8 hours, but I will try.”

Jan: “I really don´t want them to win… they are already third even with Akseli as driver, if Mikko comes in, they will be even faster.”

Thomas: “The Flint is so far ahead… and still in very good shape, while the Sedlak seems already quite damaged. I really don´t see them winning. But surprising how good these Maras are. I already lost in the Shitbox Rallye by far against the Interceptors in such a Kavaler, and now they are again much better than we are. Crap.”

The two male team members laid down in the camper, with one watching Chantys actions on track, and the other getting a bit of sleep. Especially Thomas wanted to relax as much as possible, as he wanted to be fit for his task - the age showed up lately more and more.

Jan: "OH NO, SHE WILL CRASH!

Thomas: “OOOOOOH…SHIT!”

But Chanty didn´t lose more than her right mirror when skidding into the Phoenix, and that car also sustained no damage except for a little paint wear.

Jan: “That… was close.”

Thomas, in the walkie-talkie: “EEEH! Don´t hand me over a wreck.”

Chanty: “Not my fault, they should have gone wider when I pass them if I am so many laps ahead already… anyway, no bad feelings here, looks like we´re both happy that it was nothing, and that mirror was already shit before the contact, so don´t complain.”

Jan: “Hm, she´s right, if we look at the Bricksley… You mind me going to YEAR now?”

Thomas: “No, but why?”

Jan: “Kanna has her birthday party… and I want to make sure a bit of cake is reserved for Chanty, they are worse eaters than her…”

Thomas: “Yeah, get lost, I will prepare myself for my turn then, doing some healthy excercises and such to avoid fatigue.”

Jan: “Damn, you take that really serious. Your are entering a car, not a coffin, don´t exaggerate.”

Thomas: “I SAID GET LOST!”

Jan walked to the YEAR site, arriving at 7:45 PM, and got a jump hug from Kanna.

Jan: “Uargh, thank god I am already used to that from Chanty…”

Angel: “Bad for your back, but good to hear that Chanty has these happy moments.”

Jan: “Not as many as Kanna I guess, but yes. Just because Chanty has depression and anxiety it does not mean that she is feeling shit all the time, that´s a prejudgement and bullshit.”

Kanna: “I even left her some cake.”

Angel: “What? We started sharing it a second ago, and that plate for Chanty is ALL THAT IS LEFT?”

Kanna: ._.

Jan: “Wow.”

Maria: “Great. Catherine will be REALLY pleased, as she is as much as a glutton as you, Kanna.”

Kanna: “SURPRISE SURPRISE!!! Of course we got another cake…”

Angel: “Which I will now take care of… so that it doesn´t have to face the fate of it`s sibling.”

Kanna: “You´re mean…”

Jan: “No, he is smart. Anyway, Kanna, I wish you all the best for your new year of life, and … I am hungry and thirsty from driving, so… LET´S GET THE PARTY STARTEEEEEED!”

The YEAR members looked a bit surprised at Jan, as he was usually more for himself and rarely socializing on own initiative, so they saw it as a compliment that he does that now, and gave him a coke and a piece of cake. With his walkie-talkie, he contacted Chanty.

Jan: “So, I am at Kannas birthday party, and guess what? We managed to secure quite a bit of cake for you!”

Chanty: “How that?”

Jan: “Kanna… made more cake, and passed one foward to Angel to hide it from her.”

Chanty: “Kanna… sharing …food?”

Jan: “She must really like you then, yes.”

Chanty: “Oh, I have a surprise, too. NOW LISTEN!”

With the horn, Chanty honked Happy Birthday, while the Qua pulled in for a driver change, and Maria, feeling visibly uncomfortable, was swapped in against Catherine. But also in the pits was the Sedlak, and Mikko Harjanne pulled his teammember out, tossing him on the ground. Whoever watched it now knew what to expect on track…

Thomas, wandering around the pits to get his body into movement, helped Akseli up.

Thomas: “This guy might be the best driver here, but he needs an urgent lesson anyway. I will be ready.”

Thomas said it in a way that unmistakeably made clear that the oldest driver in the competition shouldn´t be written off the list yet…
After enjoying a cigarette, Thomas looked at his watch and walked to Valentin, who sat in his truck, scrolling on his smartphone.

Thomas: “You are not watching the race?”

Windows closed and distracted by the phone, Valentin failed to notice Thomas approaching. He carefully opens the door a wee bit:

Valentin: “Come again?”

Thomas: “I am surprised that you do not seem to enjoy the event.”

Valentin: “Might enjoy it if participants would keep noise reduction equipment in place… It simply is louder than comfortable for me… By quite the margin…”

Thomas noticed the eyes of Valentin glowing like that of a cat.

Thomas: “Eh! I think there is not only something about your ears, but also your eyes.”

Valentin has to think for a moment before he realizes what Thomas is referring to thanks to the exterior mirror:

Valentin: “Highly experimental treatment went sideways… Things have changed since then…”

Thomas: “I See… and I think I better don´t ask further questions on that matter… So, you seem to be cold in that Car, you want to warm Up in our Trailer with a Coffee?”

Valentin: “Not fond of coffee, thank you.”

Other than being bundled up in many layers of clothing, Valentin did not show any other signs of being cold.

Thomas: “So… there is one thing I would like to ask. You seem, apart from… a “little” derailment at this years shitbox rallye… to be a calm person. So, how do you deal with people that are just real assholes? I can not stop being pissed at that peculiar asshole, and it´s clearly not good for my heart issues.”

He puts the phone down onto the dash, it displaying a random Wikipedia article.

Valentin: “Not sure how often you encounter the assholes, but not engaging with them seems to work for me. Granted, part of that might be linked to appearance as well, so your mileage may vary.”

Thomas: “Let´s say, the person is treating others like shit and I would like to give him a lesson for it, but on the other hand, other team´s members are none of my business.”

Valentin: “You could make an attempt at talking things out, though most people who treat others like that are beyond reasonable arguments… Or their problems in life are reason to believe that others cannot have a good one as well.”

Thomas: “Sounds like politely asking then what`s the problem in his life that causes this behaiviour would be the most logical thing, thanks Valentin. If you need something, let me know…”

Valentin: “Will do. Good luck.”

Car status: Ignoring the fact that it was a pile of junk to start with, it´s still fully intact, aside from some dented sheetmetal - but under the surface, the Globus is still fine and shows no signs of fatigue.

Team status:

Thomas: Preparing for his long shift, and very focussed to be competetive, but he has become calm with age. No crowbar driving style to expect anymore from him.

Chanty: Doing fine, as she is less exalted when her mind is busy from having a task to focus on, especially when it´s about driving. A bit overambituous for her experience level but overall fine.

Jan: Relieved to not have messed up. His driving duty is fulfilled, and as he is useless as mechanic, will propably take the advice to socialize more than before. As of now, unlimited availability for RP.

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PART 3 - 8 PM - MIDNIGHT

For some reason, the driver change in the Cutter seems to take time, we don’t know why but it seems like the drivers have some kind of argument going on. Almost having a crash with the Cago after leaving the pits after the driver change, Hank Richmond in the Flint is maybe a bit nervous, since this is the slowest we have seen the Flint drive this far. The Mara and Sedlak also gets out a bit late on the track, due to refuelling. Even with some body panels now removed, it seems like Cody Acorne in the Bricksley is trying to kill the remaining ones against the guardrail, this far with no luck yet. The team decides to do a quick checkup while filling up the tank, though.

The Cutter gets into a skid, followed by a rather nasty counter-skid, but Lionel Winters manages to save the day. Soon after that, the exact thing happens to the Ishii, but less luck there, it slides into the guardrail with a bang. Even if it seems to not be very damaged, the team decides to do a checkup when they are going in for refuelling anyway. The ARVA seems to have some problems with the grip at the moment, which may explain the unusually slow pace it is being driven at. The Cago goes in for refuelling. María Yukobaiyaroslavl in the Qua notices a bit late that the Cago is slowing down, leading to a close encounter. The sudden braking comes as a surprise to Jens Mai in the Mara that comes to an even closer encounter with the Qua, stopping just in time with smoke coming from the wheels. Being a bit hesitant to use the regular brake, Rémi Le Bec in the Brunelle pulls the handbrake,leading to the Brunelle spinning around a couple of rounds, but without hitting the Mara or Qua in front of him. Puente in Team Phirm Eggplant’s Mishuto tries to avoid the spinning Brunelle, but in the end has to pull the handbrake and spin out due to the hefty understeer of the Mishuto. Maybe a bit overly confident, Chantal Nilfert in the Globus decides to floor the accelerator to pass all the cars instead, and while waving at Maria while passing the Qua, she misses to see the Sedlak in front of her which she hits from behind at rather high speed. The Globus comes to a standstill but doesn’t look all that banged up. It is worse with the Sedlak that now looks more like an AMC Gremlin from the rear, but after some quick chatting on the radio, the Speed freaks decides to at least try to keep driving since it does not seem to show all that weird behaviour, strangely enough. The VerBanka has to brake hard to not embed itself into the trunk of the Globus, and in turn the Astral has to brake hard to not hit the VerBanka. For once, the careful driver is strangely enough Cody Acorne in the Bricksley, passing this scene slow and careful, shaking his head. There is some nudging of the guardrail by the Torrento when it is plowing into a corner and suddenly decides to swing out its tail.

The Cutter is drifting a bit wide through the turns at the moment. The WAZ runs completely out of fuel and has to coast into the pits. That also slows down the Phoenix, DAW and Qua, that does not have any possibility to pass it at the moment. The Sedlak trying to pass the Astral in a corner leads to some close encounter but without contact. The Torrento does a wild spinout.

After a little encounter with the Phoenix, the headlight of the Sedlak pops out. The lens and reflector seems to have made it, just not the brackets, and after adjusting the fender with a crowbar to make the headlight fit again, the team uses some creativity with duct tape and hose clamps to get the light back in place again, since it is becoming rather dark now. It seems like Jens Mai has to encounter the kind of unstable nature of the Mara at the moment, because keeping it on the track seems to keep him busy now. Another car that seems to encounter a lack of grip is the Mishuto, plowing heavily in the corners. Nothing like the Torrento, which is spewing clouds of gravel from its rear tyres at the moment.

The ARVA comes into a small skid that Hansen quickly corrects. The Sedlak comes into a skid that makes the tail slam into the guardrail, but despite the wheel taking a hit it is surprisingly enough still going rather well after the track. The driver of the Ishii is maybe getting a bit too confident and spins it around.

The ARVA comes back from a fuel stop, but sputters a bit when leaving the pits. The Mishuto understeers so much that Puente has to use the handbrake to save the situation. The Astral comes into a counterskid that is hard to straighten up, ending with a guardrail bang. The Phoenix bumps the Cago slightly. Richards Hammersbach brakes the Mara hard to not get involved in that incident. The Ishii hits the guardrail which sends the skull hood ornament flying, getting its horns entangled into the bars around where the windshield once was, meaning that it has to go make a pitstop to remove it, due to blocking the driver’s vision. The Qua has to swerve for some flying debris from the Ishii, sending it into a spin. That, in turn, slow downs the Bricksley coming behind it.

The Flint now goes in to fill up the tank. The VerBanka has been driving fast for a while but that also shows in some kind of erratic driving at the moment. A beast like the Globus of course needs some fuel, so it is going in for a refill. The Astral then slams into the Torrento, that also is coming out from a fuel stop, which for the small car more or less is like slamming into an immovable object, it is no longer tracking straight since the structure has suffered too much damage, and is out of the race. If there is any good news for the Torrento? Probably not, but at least it can continue driving. Trying to get the slow moving, all bent up Astral off the track slows down the Phoenix and Ishii coming up behind it.

The ARVA is skidding a bit wide through the corners at the moment. The Brunelle goes in for refuelling. Not any wiser by what happened a while ago, the Mishuto once again spins by Puente applying the handbrake in panic while understeering through a corner, almost hitting the Cutter. Speaking about the Mishuto, it also goes in to fill up the tank. The Torrento rapidly switches from under- to oversteering through a corner, but Protea in the Torrento manages to save the situation. The DAW once again tumbles around a little bit when the support wheels touch the track. That sends some dirt flying over the windshield of the WAZ, slowing it down just for a moment. The Qua has to swerve to avoid the tumbling DAW.

Halfway through the race, the standings are as follows:


  1. Team off the books - Flint - Lap # 793 @oldmanbuick (0)
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  2. The Interceptors - Mara - Lap # 781 @AndiD (+1)
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  3. The rot - Ishii - Lap # 776 @Chaedder (-1)
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  4. Team PhirmEggPlant - Mishuto - Lap # 757 @PhirmEggplant (+2)
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  5. The Rhinos - Globus - Lap #756 @Happyhungryhippo (+2)
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  6. Seinäjoki speed freaks - Sedlak - Lap #749 @Nicxv (-1)
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  7. Три Полоски Racing Team - WAZ - Lap #747 @0rangeghost (+1)
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  8. Team Bowling - DAW - Lap #746@Djadania (+1)
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  9. Team Vortex - Vortex - Lap # 743 @George (+2)
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  10. Team Chitco - VerBanka - Lap #739 @MrdjaNikolen (0)
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  11. A wing and a prayer - Astral - Lap # 736 (DNF) @Rambow (-7)
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  12. Team Marian’s Dream - Phoenix - Lap #716 @Tailgate_sniffer (+1)
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  13. Team Vet Inte - Cago - Lap #714 @06DPA (-1)
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  14. Bugs in the Code - Torrento - Lap #692 @Fayeding_spray & @Leone(0)
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  15. HeltR SkeltR & Marcel - Brunelle - Lap #688 @Dildoplocus (+1)
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  16. The Highway Hooligans - Bricksley - Lap #687 @Madrias (+2)
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  17. Team Left for dead - Cutter - Lap # 683 @stm316 (0)
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  18. Team Trafikjournalen - ARVA - Lap #678 @Knugcab (-3)
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  19. Y.E.A.R. - Qua - Lap #670 @Angelustyle (0)
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8 Likes

OK, strategy changes or other plans should be DMed to me before 5 PM friday october the 25th. As usual, I can’t promise to implement what you want but you can always try…

2 Likes

Team Highway Hooligans

Race, 8 PM to Midnight


“I’ve got a need! A need for SPEED!” Cody yells into the radio, the tires squealing as the Bricksley clatters off of the guardrail with a mighty bang.

“Bring it in,” Trevor grumbles in response. “Your need for speed just cost you time. Besides, efficient as the turbo-five is, it needs gas.”

The car rolls into the pit lane, and Trevor looks over the back end of the car, shaking the rather loose rear bumper and inspecting the broken tail-light housing. Jake fills the tank with gas, occasionally checking on what Trevor’s doing.

“You got lucky, leadfoot,” Trevor says to Cody. “The bumper ate shit and not the rear quarter. You jam that trunk lid shut, it’ll be a rotten day for us if we lose any more rear lights.”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Cody grumbles dismissively. “We clear to go?”

“Get your ass back on track,” Jake says.

“Speed and POWER!”

Cody’s bellow into the radio (and across the pit lane) is accompanied by a brutal five-cylinder roar, a great-big-cloud-of-smoke rolling off of the driver’s side rear tire, and a turbo sneeze as the auto-tragic decides to upshift and bogs the engine down while the Bricksley shoots back onto the track.

As the Cago goes in for refueling, the Qua’s driver gets startled, stomping on the brakes. The resulting brake check leads to a harsh lock-up from the Mara to avoid rear-ending the Qua, smoke pouring off the wheels (and/or the brakes). Then the Brunelle does a savage 720° spin to avoid the Mara and the Qua, forcing the Mishuto to spin as well. Then the Globus gooses it through the gap and rams the Sedlak right up the tailpipe with some force, squashing the Sedlak’s back end up until it resembles a quirky 70’s compact, and simultaneously stalling out the Globus. The VerBanka nearly hits the Globus, brake-checking the Astral - both vehicles manage to avoid further collisions. Cody just rolls on by, shaking his head and laughing as he gets on the radio.

“None of you lot would survive 30 minutes in Chicago. This whole race has been a fun Sunday drive for me,” Cody quips. Behind him, he hears the Torrento banging its ass off of a guardrail and shakes his head again.

Two hours later, Cody sighs as debris flies off of the Ishii, causing the Qua to cut into his lane and forcing him to lift off of the gas. “You do know these used to be cop cars, and that if I didn’t lift, I could PIT maneuver that mid-engine mini-wedge right into the wall and not feel it, right? Your lack of attention caused the Big One two hours ago… Wake up and drive,” Cody snaps into the radio.


(Mentioning @Angelustyle because of the two incidents, passing mentions to @AndiD, @PhirmEggplant, @Happyhungryhippo, @nicxv, @MrdjaNikolen, @Rambow because you were all involved in The Incident.)

4 Likes

To all teams: Turbo Terrors are faster than you. We keep the gamble up, running lower fuel, worse tires, loads of risks an big balls.

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Part 6: The Crash

including YEAR by @Angelustyle, mentioning Speed Freaks by @nicxv

While Jan socialized with the YEAR team, suddenly Maria yelled in panic over the radio.

Maria: “OH NO!”

Angel: “WATCH OUT, THE MARA!”

Jan: “Damn, this was close!”

Meanwhile, Chanty noticed the mess but, from being confident at driving and throwing her usually sensible and shy personality out of the window, she made a daring attempt to get the landyacht with a powerslide through the small gaps, even waving at Maria since from lapping her a few times, she noticed that Maria was unter great stress and pressure, and wanted to ease up the situation… Chanty, not really good at focussing on more than one single thing, slammed with a lot of force into the Sedlak, and the car stalled, smoke and dust was everywhere.

Jan: “CHANTY? ARE YOU OK? ANSWER!”

Angel: doing some worried cursing in both Russian and Japanese

Kanna: “OH NO! What happened? Is she fine? I hope the cake will cheer her up if she is out of the race.”

Chorus: “KANNAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

Jan: “Chanty, are you there?”

Chanty: “M…hm… I am a bit dizzy, and everything hurts… but… I guess I am fine.”

The dust cloud was gone, and revealed that the Globus has now a quite ugly front end… and that the whole trunk of the Sedlak was gone.

Catherine: “OH NO! SHE RAMMED THE SEDLAK!”

Jan: “Chanty, is the car still going?”

Chanty: “I… have shut it off in panic…”

Jan: “GET GOING! YOU RAMMED MIKKO OUT OF THE RACE! AND HE IS TRYING TO GET OUT!”

Chanty: “Oh fuckfuckfuck…”

WIth a roar, the Globus came back to life, and the reverse gear failed… so Chanty took the exit by speeding foward, denting the Sedlak even more, before getting it loose from the remainings of her front bumper. Mikko yelled some very harsh words and showed her the middle finger with fury.

Jan: “I have to leave, I need to wake Thomas up!”

Jan told Thomas what happened, and Thomas was happy to see that the Sedlak was surprisingly still in the race.

Thomas: “So, he is still busy driving, that will give some time to cool down. If he attacks Chantal, I can not guarantee for anything.”

Jan: “I tried to talk to her… but she is just crying… I think you should swap in.”

Thomas: “Chanty, should I change in early?”

Chanty: “N…no, I… am not a little girl, I can do this…”

Thomas: “So, you are ok and the car, too?”

Chanty: “One light is still going, and seems fine, yes… I mean, the car is built for ramming…I could just need some refueling, but it will work until 10 PM…”

Thomas: “Fine, please get some rest then.”

Chanty: “Darling, is the cake still there?”

Thomas: “You really can only think of food even now? Well… all right.”

At the driver swap, Chanty did not talk much and hurried to the camper, where she had a breakdown, but Jan was able to cool her down a bit, at least enough to make her open the door and let him close…

Jan: “Nah, better don´t go to the Speed Freaks. The car is in need of repair, and with Mikko around the team… no, don´t do this. How about that cake?”

Chanty: “Yes… yes, I will do that…”

Jan: “But please mind that you drive later again… don´t get drunk and … also try to get some sleep…”

Chanty ran out, pushing Jan away.

Chanty: “NOW I GOT TWO FATHERS OR WHAT? I AM NOT A LITTLE GIRL! LEAVE ME ALONE!”

While smoking some cigarettes, she first went to the YEAR camp, as she promised Kanna to celebrate her birthday, although she didn´t feel like celebrating.

“Fuck it, I wanted to stop that damn smoking…Why can´t I finally make at least one thing right?”

The YEAR team noticed, that Chanty didn´t feel too well, and tried to cheer her a bit up.

3 Likes

Team PhirmEggPlant mumbling amongst them self. Knox says “if Puente keeps this up we’re not going to have an ebrake soon” Vires " True but atleast the rear brakes will be… do you guys think the rear brakes are out?" Rose Replies " lol, that would make sense"

1 Like

question, what does “-7” mean? is that the condition or something? because it doesn’t seem like one slam with max carefulness driver would do that much damage, and take me OUT OF THE RACE. What do you mean, i was writing a story here. now i cant even do a 2nd chapter because of a single crash i had with the most carefull and slow driver possible.
is it reperable? i deliberately deliberately wrote in a contingency for if it was, but it hardly seems necessary here.

The numbers there mean the number of positions gained or lost. So, for example, before 4-8 PM you were 4th.

At 4-8 PM you were still 4th, hence why there’s a 0.

From 8-12, you passed from 4th to 11th, loosing 7 positions.

2 Likes

And (DNF) means (Did Not Finish) so it doesn’t seem repairable…

-7 is just that you have fallen 7 positions behind since last round. And yes, your car is out of the race (DNF = Did Not Finish). It is not because of a single crash, you have been in multiple ones, the dice rolls were unfortunately very unfair to your car and you ended up with irrepairable structural damage in the end. This is just how this challenge works, not every car will survive and this time it has been rather mild this far. Last year it looked more like british banger racing in the end. :roll_eyes:

2 Likes

Y.E.A.R.

Description of the Team

Last Episode (“Nunavummiut Wonders, María’s Nightmare and a Happy Birthday”)

Race Episode 3:"Messy Sailing for a Messy María; Radio Problems Plague the Team"

Around 8 PM.

María:“Oughhhh… My… stomach…”
Ángel:“I know it hurts, but, I’ll buy you some Lactaid once I find a drug store.”
María:“Remember to wish me luck…”
Ángel:“Sure will. Remember, don’t focus on competitiveness. Patience is key. I’m sure eventually someone will DNF and soon we’ll leave last place before we DNF or…”

María finally couldn’t contain herself an began crying. It was very unusual seeing her like this. She normally was serious and cold, but today it seemed she had to get her bearings right… A hard task given the circumstances of the day as a whole.

While Kanna and some others were passing it great at her birthday, María was personally suffering. Although hearing Chantal blasting the horn playing Happy Birthday kinda(?) cheered her up a bit.

At 8:02, María Yukobaiyaroslavl sits in the driver seat and leaves Y.E.A.R.'s pit box with unusual care. As always, their start would be rough…

She nearly got into a massive wreck at the beginning of her cycle, after making a Rookie Mistake and noticing late that the Cago was pitting, nearly causing the big wreck herself… Sure enough, that absolutely alarmed her team. But unlike her responses, which were harsh and fast, Ángel’s were… Calmer. More serene and focused on her status.

Ángel:“Are you OK ?”
María:“I… Think so ?”
Ángel:“I’ll… Try to tell you from now on when someone is coming to the pits. Don’t worry about it, and you just keep driving. To finish first first we have to finish.”
María:“C-Copy.”

The mood would swing for the team however when Chantal got into a hard hit with the Sedlak… Ángel would still tell María to calm down, but he’d probably get to say a “BLYAT !” or two.

And so would go the rest of the fall of dusk as night began to settle. Some time later, the WAZ runs out of gas, and María, while unable to pass it for a moment, handles the situation well enough to get some praise.

Hou:“Those guys in the WAZ… They should’ve gotten, I don’t know, a Cuowu or an Autocubana.”
Ángel:“If they truly wanted to save some gas, then yes.”
María:“OK, guys… I think I’m… Uhhhhhhh… I’m not feeling any better… Stomach burns badly…”
Ángel:“Take things easy then, I mean, we have been last all day, not like it’ll matter now… Just calm down and take it easy, longevity is better than speed.”
María:“Okey-Doke.”

The Middle Section of María’s stint however went somewhat smoothly. Something needed for her to gain confidence… Until it was broken again at around 10:25 PM, as after trying to avoid Debris from the Ishii, Cody warns María about the fact that he ain’t patient.

Maria’s response, given the circumstances she is facing, is understandable, but at the same time, it’s ANYTHING but warm.

María:“OH, YOU GET TO KNOW !”
Ángel:“María, please calm…”
María:“YOU KNOW I’M ABOUT TO CRAP MYSELF AND THAT I’VE BEEN SUFFERING ALL DAY LONG ?!?”
Ángel:“Мария, успокойся. Пожалуйста.” (María, calm down. Please.)
María:“どうやって落ち着かせたらいいの!?” (How do you want me to calm down !?)

And then, guess what…? Radio Trouble would finally catch Y.E.A.R., as the Radio was now even Jumping to different channels. Increasing communication trouble meant that something was bound to happen, and that was with the Speed Freaks. Mikko didn’t seem happy at all, after his day was nearly ruined by María (for causing the almost pile up) and Chantal (for ramming him up quite badly). The Sedlak was in increasingly worse condition, and the thing Mikko wanted least was to hear from his rivals… Well, unless for strategy that is…

What he heard cranked his rage up to eleven. Having a hatred for Russians was part of him… And he eventually found out about Ángel’s (technical) nationality.

Ángel:“Послушай, я не хочу, чтобы мы сошли с дистанции из-за того, что ты врезался машиной, я не знаю, в барьеры безопасности или что-то в этом роде. Относитесь ко всему проще.” (Listen, I don’t want us to be out of the race either because you crashed the car into, I don’t know, the safety barriers or something. Take it easy.)
María:“そうですね、落ち着くように言ってください! 彼は今にも爆発的な下痢を起こしそうだし、トラック上で最も多くの事故を起こしているのは私だ! なんてことだ、私はひどいよ!” (Sure, tell me to calm down! I’m about to have explosive fucking diarrhea, and I’m the one causing the most accidents on the track! Gosh, I’m horrible!)
Ángel:“Ты не ужасен, ты просто расстроен. Продолжать идти. Я пойду за лактазой позже… если найду аптеку здесь, в Хельесе…” (You’re not horrible, you’re just frustrated. Keep going. I’ll go get the lactase later… if I find a drugstore around here in Höljes…)
Mikko:“WHAT ARE YOU JAPANESE IDIOTS DOING ON MY RADIO ?!?!?”
Ángel:“Uhhhh… Oh sh… (Long Interference)”

Ángel switches back manually to the original Y.E.A.R. team radio channel for both the car and the pit crew. The radio was giving them issues all day long, but this time it had gone very wrong. Understandably, Mikko was angry (maybe too much), but, Akseli was too… And asked for explanations.

Akseli:“Oi !”
Ángel:“It’s not my fault ! We didn’t even realize we had switched to your channel ! We don’t know what on earth is wrong with our radio !”
Akseli:“Yeah, sure.”
Ángel:“Better keep it calm with Mikko, I’m sure he’ll want to kill me after he gets out of that thing… If he gets out of that thing to begin with.”
Akseli:“You know I can’t prevent it.”
Hou:“How can you not, you’re his teammate ! If he wants to fuck us all over then tell him to fuck off himself.”

The Ambient was tense as Hou pronounced those words. Everyone in Y.E.A.R. was surprised to see her like that; after all, this was a side of Hou people had never seen. A more… “Open” Hou, if you will. A more daring Hou, out of her Shy Gal Image. This brief moment of courage wouldn’t last long however, as she lost the warm temper a minute afterwards, and once again returned to silence.

Things continued not so smoothly for Y.E.A.R… María loosing laps left and right, but the car holding up surprisingly well. It seemed they would retain last place pretty much forever…

Until, eventually, around 11:15 PM some news sounded sounded thru the team radio…

Ángel:“You doing good, you doing… Is the Astral out ? I think the Astral’s out.”
María:“What ? Someone DNF’d ?”
Ángel:“It was another sports car, the #91 if I’m not mistaken… (Interference) …Danver must be pissed.”
María:“Don’t remind me about the fact that I’m about to explode and crap myself here ! I want this to… (Interference) !”
Ángel:“Sorry, Mari. Keep Driving, you shouldn’t worry.”

An hour earlier.

Before the Radio Incident, and as María struggled to contain her Lactose Intolerance from causing her Gastrointestinal Mayhem, Catherine, Kanna and Chantal spoke while behind the pit wall.

Catherine:“I’m actually glad you slammed him from behind.”
Chantal:“I mean, it wasn’t my intention.”
Hou:“But… Y-You did it properly.”
Kanna:“What are you guys talking about ?”

Despite the brief chatter about Mikko quite earlier in the day, Kanna hadn’t met him yet. She was one of two members who hadn’t met the Finnish Menace (the other one was Ryoga).

Chantal:“I’m a bit worried about María though. I think I saw her involved in the wreck.”
Catherine:“Well… She was the one who nearly caused a pile-up.”
Chantal:“Yeah, I mean, María caused it. But, I guess Mikko will still blame me. Still, without her I wouldn’t have managed to ram him that perfect.”
Hou:“I absolutely agree. And, I think María, despite what it seems, seems to have a decent run…”
Ryoga:“I mean, we are still running quite clean. And my little brother is turning up next.”
Chantal:“Ángel is driving next ?”
Catherine:“Oooooh, girl, yes… My Milksweet is hoping to beat Mikko’s Ass on the track. I know he’s messy, but, when he’s in the zone, he’s a brilliant driver.”
Ryoga:“I just hope María returns in that car in one piece… And with her pants clean.”
Kanna:(gives him a poke with her elbow)“Ryoga !”
Ryoga:“Sorry, I couldn’t avoid it !”
Chantal:“But… Why is that ?”
Kanna:“Don’t you know ? María is lactose intolerant. The food she’s been eating all day long hasn’t done her any favours.”
Chantal:“No wonder why I saw her so tense in that car… Poor of her, who can’t enjoy your cake !”
Kanna:“I can agree… Poor María !”

…they didn’t know what was happening in the background.

Back to the Present Moment !

After some stoppage time, María gets out of the car at 11:56 PM… She’s had enough after nearly being caught in yet another incident with Team Bowling. María entered the pit box… Unbuckled, and RAN towards the bathroom.

Also, remember how Ángel was trying to get lactase ? Yeah, he failed on his mission… So he felt quite bad with María now for not accomplishing his part of the promise.

But now, there was light in the end of the dark tunnel for Y.E.A.R., as Ángel Yukobaiyaroslavl got his helmet on, jumped on that Qua, and blasted towards the uncertain.

Current Status of… The Car !

  • Brakes are slowly beginning to cook…
  • Radio Communication is showing some genuine faults which concern the team communication. However, it’s nothing too serious as long as it doesn’t jump channels and it’s easy to fix temporarily without even stopping the car.

Repairs/Modifications/Inspections: Some cleaning of the air intakes, and a minor inspection below the lid. Some minor electrical fixes.

Current Status of… The Team.

Ryoga: About to head and sleep.

Catherine: REALLY hungry, slightly stressed and worried. Feeling sad because her boyfriend isn’t by her side for now. Mechanical Skill reduced by 1 on the next stint.

María: Extraordinarily Sick (“Gastrointestinal Mayhem”, otherwise known as lactose intolerance which has been irritated over the day) and Tired, Stressed and Under Distress. At least her drive is over, and by avoiding many dangers and suffering minimal damage, she has increased her confidence slightly. Mechanical Skill increased by 1 on the first half of the next stint.

Ángel: Motivated, but a bit frustrated. Getting in to drive his best. But he’s unlucky… All Stats reduced by 1 (except Caution, which was already at 1) for the first hour of his stint.

Kanna: Happy, but starting to feel tired.

Hou: Hungry, Thirsty, a bit hot and bothered, as well as tired. About to head and sleep for a moment.

Mentioning: @HappyHungryHippo @nicxv @Madrias

2 Likes

Seinäjoki Speed ​​Freaks

The Race - A rally driver’s failures

SAATANA!..SAATANA! SAATANA! SAATANA!..PERKELE!

Screams were heard from the Speed Freaks’s Sedlak Silva, and the horn seemed to be beeping quite a few times. But, as you are about the learn, it wasn’t the car’s malfunctioning electrics or someone injured causing all that, it was an angry, no, absolutely furious Finnish rally driver, screaming as one of his rivals had just caused an accident, colliding with him, and had costed him a precious position. Mikko Harjanne, “Seinäjoki’s Rocket”, had just burst in a fit of absolute, rivalry fueled rage.

Akseli: Mikko! Lopeta sen vitun ratin lyöminen! (Mikko! stop punching the fucking steering wheel!)

Mikko: Tuo vitun…AAAAAAA!!! He continued punching the steering wheel.

Akseli: MIKKO!

Mikko: SE VITUN SINITUKKAINEN HINTTI TÄYSI VITUN ÄMMÄ! MURSKAAN TUON ÄMMÄN PÄÄN LEKALLA, KUN OLEN VALMIS! (That fucking blue haired…not translating the rest)

You could hear radio chatter by multiple of the Speed Freaks’s members by now, all attempting to talk after having heard what happened.

Alexandra: YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN OR I-

Daniel: GIVE ME THAT RADIO YOU USELESS MECHANIC-

Akseli: GO BACK TO KOUVOLA, ABSOLUTE FUCKING JONNE!

Henrik: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING!

Akseli: GIVE ME THAT RADIO! Hey! HEY! Mikko! Do you hear me! Mikko!

By now, the radio was producing useless chatter, mixed in with static. It seemed as if multiple people, people that were not even in their team, were starting to chat on Mikko’s radio. People that he knew full well…members of Y.E.A.R. had somehow switched to the channel that he was using, and boy oh boy…he was getting increasingly mad.

Ángel: Послушай, я не хочу, чтобы мы сошли с дистанции из-за того, что ты врезался машиной, я не знаю, в барьеры безопасности или что-то в этом роде. Относитесь ко всему проще.

María: そうですね、落ち着くように言ってください! 彼は今にも爆発的な下痢を起こしそうだし、トラック上で最も多くの事故を起こしているのは私だ! なんてことだ、私はひどいよ!

Ángel: Ты не ужасен, ты просто расстроен. Продолжать идти. Я пойду за лактазой позже… если найду аптеку здесь, в Хельесе…

Mikko: MITÄ TE JAPANILAISET IDIOOTIT TEETTE MINUN RADIOSSANI?!?!? (WHAT ARE YOU JAPANESE IDIOTS DOING ON MY RADIO?!?!?)

Ángel: Uhhhh… Oh sh… Long interference.

Mikko: He’s Ru- THAT WAS RUSSIAN! SE OLI VITUN VENÄJÄÄ, JOTA HÄN PUHUI SIINÄ VITUN RADIOSSA! MITÄ VITTUA!

After a discussion between Akseli and Ángel of Y.E.A.R, a concerned Alexandra would immediately approach Akseli, she needed to know what had just happened, immediately, knowing that disaster was simply mere moments away.

Alexandra: Uhm…what the hell just happened?

Akseli: A mistake, that’s what happened. Now let me be, I don’t have time for anything.

As Akseli tried to walk away, Alexandra immediately pulled him towards her. He would not be able to escape from her this time.

Alexandra: That wasn’t, JUST, a mistake. We both know full well what’s gonna happen when Mikko comes back here. What the hell did you tell Ángel?

Akseli: The truth. That I can’t prevent what Mikko’s going to do. And even if I could, I don’t want to get involved.

Alexandra: I-I’m sorry, WHAT?!?! YOU’VE SEEN WHAT MIKKO DOES AND IS CAPABLE OF DOING! HE PUNCHED YOUR BEST FRIEND, FOR FUCK’S SAKE! AND NOW WHAT? YOU DO UNDERSTAND, THAT THERE’S PEOPLE’S LIVES AT RISK?

Akseli: You are exaggerating it.

Alexandra: OH YEAH, SURE, SURE, BECAUSE YOU DON’T THINK MIKKO WANTS TO GET REVENGE ON CHANTY FOR RAMMING HIM! OR AT Y.E.A.R. JUST BECAUSE THERE’S A RUSSIAN IN THE TEAM? I always said one thing about him, that he’s a disaster waiting to happen.

Akseli: You said it.

Alexandra: LISTEN TO ME! GOD…YOU’RE AN INSUFFERABLE DICK, YOU KNOW THAT?

Akseli: I don’t want anything to do with this! Go talk to Jani…or whatever! I don’t care! Leave me alone!

Alexandra: FUCK YOU! YOU BACKSTABBING…PIECE OF SHIT…BASTARD!

After the argument that had just broken out, while Alexandra went to try and let off some steam, Akseli, clearly weirded out by the whole argument, just sat down, near his flatbed truck, watching all that was happening. The race continued to go on, the Sedlak, albeit with a few pieces missing, was still quite fast, still in the top 10, Mikko banging it off the limiter and absolutely pushing it like no other, and…well…he just sighed, lit a cigarette, and glanced off into the distance.

Current status of the Sedlak

  • Brakes are squeaking more than the usual, still safe.
  • The clutch is beginning to slip between second and third gear as well.
  • Trunk gone, rear headlights broken beyond repair, rear license plate gone, cheap chinese muffler smashed up, even louder.
  • The exhaust leak got louder.

Current status of the Team

  • Jani: Quite stressed out due to the whole ordeal, but choosing to get some rest and avoid confrontation with everyone.
  • Akseli: Fed up with the team’s arguing, he’s just sitting around, patiently waiting for his time to fix the car.
  • Mikko: Even angrier than before, and even less careful and less scared, is absolutely pushing the car to its limits and past. His anger is directed both at Y.E.A.R. and at the Rhinos, specifically Chanty.

Mentions: @Happyhungryhippo @Angelustyle

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you still didn’t explain how i got into more crashes with a more careful driver, and why it not tracking straight is really a problem. its not like you cant just steer to the left/right to counter it.

Team Chitco
Part 1: Going smoothly so far

Let's splash!

SPLASH

  • Really, you HAD to do it?
  • As it turns out, yes.

Tad bit earlier, Michaela had been passing nearby when she heard one of nicest sentences to her ears that could be said during the event:

She took a glance, confirmed this very likely is Silva in question and, as one example of Daniloski rival was enough for her, had returned to pits with victorious face.
She just won the bet she had with Andrea. One of Snippets from journey, if you will.
One bucket of water of ambient temperature later and one very soaked Andrea later (as we started this part, actually), group has focused on preparing to race.

Well, except Dennis who found out there was some collage paper, scissors and basic glue.
Picture of what I’m referring to by “collage paper” is below


Example features 10 sheets of differently colored paper which have backside that can be peeled off. You cut out shapes using scissors, peel said backside and stick it to paper; backside removed reveals these sheets are sticky and therefore glue themselves to paper.
He would then apply glue to back of paper that holds his collage “art” and decides to distribute it around by sticking said art on wherever he pleases, much to chagrin of other members of team.

For most part, Edward finds his turn rather nice and so far, car haven’t attracted any damage.
After some nice rest, Pedro ends up in hot seat while Edward goes to rest. Next part would be Mat’s to take.

CAKE!

To no surprise, Dennis found out about birthday party of another participant…which meant cake.
So while Andrea and Pi had intention of attending just by themselves, they were joined by Tom, Anna AND Dennis because children like free cake and by Chicota because he was looking for drink buddies in regards to beer.

Despite the note that it’s very likely all Yumeisotitanians need to be sober for event, Chicota still insisted on bringing some beer: 5 crates and 6 bottles to be exact.
Besides…

  • Nobody in Chitco team actually had meaningful present to bring to Kanna
  • Beer can be consumed after event

Thankfully, Dennis behaved so the numerous group caused no issues.

The Incident

Sextet that was mentioned to hang out at YEAR is still there and they were checked upon by Pedro due to his worry of misbehaving offspring.
After realizing they indeed behave, but are under sugar rush due to cake and soda, he left that garage.

Michaela was doing some very basic karate moves, because she was somewhat bored and had gained the knowledge of them as she was sparing partner for Daniloski, who trained it for quite some time AKA would get absolutely wrecked by someone stronger and who used said moves on her.
Sora follows situation on track as it’s Edward’s turn to drive around.
Raufoss does it because he has nothing to do.

Speaking of Edward…he had different issues on his mind.

The VerBanka nearly hits the Globus, brake-checking the Astral - both vehicles manage to avoid further collisions. Cody just rolls on by, shaking his head and laughing as he gets on the radio.

“None of you lot would survive 30 minutes in Chicago. This whole race has been a fun Sunday drive for me,” Cody quips.

Edward responds.

  • As I’m not exactly from around here, I’m not aware what and where this “Chicago” is, but you could have caused this kinda thing many times over since 8pm.

And then he thought he had turned off the radio, which wasn’t true. Whether or not anyone will listen to him is another matter.

  • This whole thing reminds me of chases me and those two have when they steal car from me…again. All of us are fine, but the amount of chaos we leave behind is insane. Someone might even find it comedic.

  • Now THAT’S definitely going to be a hot hatch now.
  • They will likely not be amused by that comment Michaela
  • Would just deny facts in that case…which sounds like their problem

She now takes the wheel. Not that it was too hard to be most skilled listed driver of this particular team, but she nevertheless is. Michaela was also only confirmed member with skills with repairing stuff that will actually engage in that activity.
Chicota, who was currently occupied by enjoying the party at YEAR by drinking beer and deploying someone to bring some more, would beat her in both criteria…but as mentioned, he prefers drinking beer and having fun.

Just two relevant things shall be noted:

  • kids had had enough and had fallen asleep at YEAR garage near the end of party. Chicota is now tasked with carrying non-beer cargo one by one towards van and trailer.
    Andrea and Pi are probably gonna stay and enjoy company of Chanty and Angel

  • After about hour of driving, Michaela is under effects of adrenaline resulting in good, but not clean laps. Thankfully it doesn’t seem it will result in her actually working as mechanic aka fixing up some mistake of hers.

Midnight team member situation

As the midnight comes, some idle people you may encounter in Chitco garage would be:

  • Raufoss
  • Sora

Edward, Pedro and Pedro’s children are resting either in garage or in parking lot (van and trailer)

Andrea, Chicota and Pi are still with YEAR: middle one got used to this group as drink buddies (despite them likely drinking their soda instead of beer he brought) and girls are hanging out with Chanty and Angel.
All three will likely try to help with her mood: predictably, Chicota notes that beer might help her being less stressed.

Mat and Michaela are either preparing to get in a car or out of it, respectively.

Mentioned teams:
Let’s splash!

  • Seinäjoki Speed Freaks - @nicxv

CAKE!

The Incident

  • Highway Hooligans - @Madrias
  • YEAR - Angelustyle

Midnight team member situation

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TEAM TRAFIKJOURNALEN - 8 PM TO MIDNIGHT

“OK, do we need to show you where the accelerator is, or can you find it yourself?”, Filip Andersson and Eric Carlén asked Mats Hansen with a great deal of sarcasm when he took over the wheel.

“Eh, remember that I bought this car, I really should know… Besides, it is an ARVA so it won’t help anyway.”

At least he got back on the track before the Flint. What they were arguing about in the pits? Who knows. But it was a slow pace. Even slower than an ARVA usually does.

“PRESS THE PEDAL TO THE RIGHT!”, Carlén and Andersson were laughing in the radio.

“I WILL TEACH YOU PEDAL TO THE…FUCK!”

The old discount tyres did not seem to respond very well to “the pedal to the right”. At least he was taking away from the Qua that was shrinking in the mirror, but with the Sedlak close to lapping…suddenly the Sedlak was thrown forward against the ARVA with a cloud of dust behind it, but without hitting the actual car. Hansen knew, however, that there were probably a mess behind them…

“You drive so slow that the cars behind you has to brake and gets into tangles”, Andersson and Carlén laughed in the radio.

The race went on rather uneventful, some dodging of cars bouncing around on the track. A little skidding around in the bends, the ARVA went back into the pits with the rest of the crew now sleeping…

HOOOOOOOOONK!

“Huh?”, A dizzy Filip Andersson said, waking up from some dream about popup headlights and digital gauges.

“Uhm… Damn, you drive so slow that we fall asleep”, Carlén said.

“At least I don’t get entangled in drama. Now, fill up the tank!”

After refuelling, the Archanan shitbox went back, but not without some sputtering…

“CRAP! I really hope that the carburetor setup isn’t starting to malfunction, because that’s bad news!”, Hansen was shouting on the radio.

“Who the fuck did even run carbs in 1989?”, Andersson said to Carlén.

“Ask ARVA why they were running two”, he answered rather salty. “Probably taken off the road for failing the emissions testing…would not surprise me.”

The ARVA continued driving around the track at a slow pace and yet with wide skids around the bends…

“He is so slow that he has fallen to second to last position now”, Andersson said with a sigh.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Team Off-the-Books, 8 pm - Midnight

It was 8 pm, and Hank Richmond was regretting every decision he had made to get himself to this point...

He hadn’t felt that way a mere two hours ago, when he had been woken up by a smiling Hans Gustavson. Hans had just finished his second two-hour driving stint and had come to get some rest. Hans told Hank the team was in the lead, and that it felt “just like old times” out on the track. They had shared a quick bite to eat, swapping pieces of their light meals and giving each other some good-natured ribbing over each other’s food choices. Hans described Hank’s peanut butter and jelly sandwich as “a combination of the world’s worst Nutella and jam with way too much sugar in it,” while Hank had offered that Hans’s pickled herring on crispbread was like “edible cardboard” and “something that old-time sailors probably ate just because they had to.” Then Hans turned in for some rest, and Hank headed to the pits.

That was when the feeling of dread in Hank’s stomach had started to grow.

The first thing he saw was their Flint coming around a bend with Sam Prescott behind the wheel and some considerable damage to its front quarter. He pulled on a headset.

“Sam,” he said, “what happened to our car?”

“Oh, that little scratch?”, came Sam’s reply over the radio. “Just a little dust-up with some bugger who didn’t know how to drive.”

“Sam–,” Hank started, but he was cut off.

“Look, Hank, I’ve already been thoroughly scolded by Hans about that little incident, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to focus on driving. I pinky swear that I will try to keep my nose clean this time out.”

It did not, in fact, seem like Sam was really trying to keep her nose clean. Hank listened as the radio was punctuated with exclamations from Sam. “Come on, you bugger!” “Don’t you know how to drive!” “Woo! Eat my dust!” Hank saw Sam attempt–and manage to execute–more than a few passing maneuvers that he would have described as overly aggressive, but Sam miraculously managed to avoid another collision.
He couldn’t say the same about the other cars, though. Cars were slamming into guardrails. They were slamming into each other. And there were a few personalities on the track who made Sam look tame by comparison. There was a young man a few places down in the pits who seemed to be constantly yelling at everyone about everything in some foreign language–maybe Finnish? And there was an older man–he guessed German–who also seemed to do an awful lot of yelling.

This was not Hank’s classic car club he usually raced with, where the other drivers were just as interested as he was in not scratching their carefully restored paint. Heck, most of these cars hardly had any paint actually left.

As his sense of dread grew, Hank started wondering why he had spent his own money and used his own vacation days to come to the subarctic hinterlands to drive around with a bunch of maniacs in deathtraps. He could have used that time and money to go somewhere else. Like a beach. A nice, warm, tropical beach, where he could be relaxing in the sun. Maybe with a nice fruity drink in his hand with one of those little umbrellas in it. And a strong shot of alcohol. But no, he’d had to let himself get strong-armed into this by Sam. Wasn’t he supposed to be the mentor in the relationship? The one who talked his young colleague out of doing rash things? Instead, he’d let her talk him into doing something rash.

So it was 8 pm, and Hank Richmond was regretting every decision he had made to get himself to this point, when Sam Prescott came roaring into the pits for the driver change. His driver change.

Sam leapt out of the car looking tired and sweaty, but with a triumphant smile on her face.

“Come on Hank, let’s go! We’re in the lead!”

Hank froze.

“No, no, I can’t do this,” he said, a hint of panic creeping into his normally calm demeanor.

“What do you mean you can’t do this, Hank? You’re up on the driving roster! It was your idea to swap drivers every two hours. And if we don’t follow our roster, we’ll be disqualified!”

“Sam, these people out here are crazy! I’m used to a little friendly competition with my classic car club for a couple hours on a weekend here or there, not racing with a bunch of lunatics with a death wish!”

A hint of fury was creeping into Sam’s face and voice. “Hank, come on! We’re in the lead! Pull yourself together! If you weren’t ready to do this, the time to make that decision was weeks ago! Not now!”

Hank just looked at the ground and shook his head tensely.

“Alright, then, maybe Hans can talk some sense into you!” Sam reached for the walkie-talkie to contact Hans, who was sleeping nearby. Hank grabbed her arm. “Hank!,” Sam shouted, glaring at him with a combination of surprise and fury.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Hank muttered, letting her arm go. “No need to wake up Hans. He needs to rest. I’ll do it.”

“OK! Come on, get a move on!”

Hank reluctantly pulled on his helmet and made his march to the gallows as he approached the Flint and pulled open the door. Sam pulled on the headset.

As Hank started to pull down the pit lane and approach the merge point with the track, a red Cago station wagon came barreling down the track. Hank was hesitant to accelerate.

“Come on, Hank,” Sam yelled into the headset, “You can beat that car onto the track!”

Hank pressed down on the accelerator for a moment, then lost his nerve and slammed on the brakes. He felt the stuttering of the anti-lock brakes as they struggled to bring the massive car to as sudden of a stop as they could manage. The Flint came to a rest with its nose just sticking out into the track, and the Cago swerved to avoid it.

“Thank you, Fred!,” Hank exclaimed over the radio.

“Fred? What, is that what you say when you don’t want to take the Lord’s name in vain?”

“Huh?” said Hank, as he now finally piloted the Flint onto the track. “Oh, no, I meant Fred Jovanovich. He was the lead engineer for the ABS system on the Sovereign back in the day. He taught me pretty much everything I know about anti-lock braking systems. He retired a few years back. I think he has a condo down in Florida now…”

Hank continued prattling on about his old colleague and all of the lessons he had learned from him. Sam was, at first, exasperated and considering telling Hank to shut up and drive, but then she realized that Hank’s rambling about the intricacies of anti-lock brake systems, the finer points of traction control design, the early struggles of designing for side crash protection, and so on, and so on, was actually helping Hank calm down. So instead of cutting Hank off, she half-listened and threw in the occasional “Really?” and “Interesting” to encourage Hank to keep going. Eventually, it seemed Hank settled down and was rounding the track at a reasonably consistent pace. Not a fast pace, mind you, and the team seemed to be losing ground. But at least Hank no longer seemed on the brink of a panic attack.

Hank was still going on about the time Fred had accidentally started a fire while testing a seatbelt pretensioner when Sam interrupted. “Alright, Hank, it’s 10 pm. Time to bring it in.”

“What? It’s 10 already? Oh man, I shouldn’t have been talking that whole time. You know, talking while driving puts a strain on the driver’s attention and takes away from their attention on the road.”

“I know, Hank, but it was either let you talk or let you have a panic attack. I figured talking was the better option.”

“Thanks, Sam.” Hank pulled into the pits, and as he stepped out and Sam approached the car, he smiled a broad grin, clasped her hand, and embraced her. “Thanks, Sam. Now let’s go win this thing!”

“You know it!,” Sam shouted as she hurried into the car.

And for the next two hours, Hank once again listened while Sam cursed, shouted, and rejoiced as she made her way around the track without incident, only punctuated by a routine fuel stop. He could do this, he thought. He could, couldn’t he? Only time would tell.

5 Likes

Part 7: Old and new friends

including team Chitko by @MrdjaNikolen and Speed Freaks by @nicxv

At Kannas birthday not only YEAR was present, also the Chitcos visited her…

Pi: “BOOO!”

Chanty: “AAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Pi: “Do you have forgotten about us?”

Chanty: “Eh…eh… eh?”

Andrea: “We looked for you but couldn´t find you, and I already thought you don´t want to greet us. We feel a bit neglected.”

Chanty: “I…am sorry, really, I… was stressed, and it was so chaotic, and…”

Pi: “Oh no, please, don´t cry, I mean, it was irony, everything is alright, we are not mad…”

Chanty: “So… we are still friends?”

Andrea, laughing: “Of course we are! And it was such a pleasure to watch you in action on the track.”

Pi: “Definitely the most entertaining driver there, fast enough and a few risky moves, I actually had a hard time believing it was you, I only know your soft side.”

Chanty: “Yes… I mean, I don´t like being agressive too much, although, I can´t really control it… I wish I could.”

Andrea: “That´s definitely your fathers genes. I mean, the money for a paternity test would be wasted.”

Pi: “And we got you some beer!”

Chitoka: “Although my programming tells me that beer is not a healthy beverage.”

,Chanty: “Oh, eh, I will drive again later, but since this will take some hours until I have to, one is fine… EH IS THIS A ROBOT?”

Andrea: “Yes, Chitoka… I felt like the company of a centaur is no longer weird enough since most know Pi already and are used to her.”

Chanty: “Now that´s cool…”

After a lot of hugs and chatter, she made her way back to the trailer, as she started to feel really tired.

Alexandra: “OH! There you are…”

Chanty: “Oh… eh, …”

Alexandra: “Why do you look so scared? Is everything ok?”

Chanty: “I… almost completely destroyed your car, I thought you wanted to…”

Alexandra: “You really think I would be mad at you? No, actually I am proud of you that you have hit the right person. Akseli really deserves some extra work as punishment for his backstabbing.”

Chanty: “Eh, what? Sorry, I am a bit dumb today… well, maybe not just today.”

Alexandra: “Stop it. That´s not the thoughts you should have.”

Chanty: “I doubt that I will have no more thoughts at all when Mikko is done with me…”

Alexandra: “I will prevent this. Also, Jani told me that your team would protect him and me in case we get in serious trouble, so, don´t they also look after you?”

Chanty: “Sure… maybe even a bit too much, but you deserve it more.”

Both had maybe 15 minutes of chatter, and Alexandra tried her best to charge Chantys confidence battery, as she would need that for her second time driving. Also, she apologized to Jan for her anger outburst, but her boyfriend already had forgotten about that and made her hot chocolate as goodnight drink, while Thomas did his best to close up to the top three.

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