The 2024 Trafikjournalen 24h of clunkers (RACE OVER!)

[George]

The year is 2024. Frederickson is tired of university and wants to spice things up a little thing. He wants to feel the thrill of life, to live a life worth living. One answer: Racing. And what race is easier to step into than the Trafikjournalen. But he needs two things: a car and a crew.
The first part isn’t that hard. His parents have got a Vortex TS from 1978 in their garage, a bit rusty but an alright reliable car, not the best but definetly not like a Land Rover. He will only have to clean the car a bit, get it running and he will be able to join the race. The team however, that’s a different story. He doesn’t really know who to go to so his best guess is to look for somebody at university. After some time, Frederickson finds his team, The Turbo Terrors:

1. Fast Hands" Fredrickson (Driver/Mechanic)

Strength: Fast, instinctive driver with a knack for handling older cars
Weakness: Tendency to push the car too hard, risking mechanical failures

Fredrickson has an almost sixth sense for driving ancient hatchbacks. His experience racing cars older than him makes him the go-to guy for tight cornering and fast decision-making. His reflexes are sharp, and he’s fearless, but that courage can easily turn into recklessness. He’s always pushing the limits, which is perfect for gaining laps but could blow out an engine or burn through the brakes too soon.

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2. “Wrench Wench” Sofie (Chief Mechanic)

Strength: Mechanical genius who can fix almost anything with limited tools
Weakness: Easily irritated, especially by “bad driving” that wrecks the car

Sofie is the team’s ace in the pit crew. She has an encyclopedic knowledge of 1980s hatchbacks and can keep the Golf running long past what seems possible. She can rig fixes in the most desperate situations, turning chewing gum into gasket sealant if needed. However, Sofie’s temper flares when drivers abuse the car, and she’s not afraid to let them know it, especially if Fredrickson’s driving style burns through tires or brakes prematurely. Her constant frustration could cause communication issues in high-pressure situations.

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3. “Navigator Ned” Johansson (Strategist/Co-Driver)

Strength: Knows the track inside and out, expert in fuel and tire strategies
Weakness: Overly cautious, sometimes second-guesses crucial decisions

Ned is the brains behind the team’s race strategy. He’s memorized every twist and turn of the race course and knows exactly when to push the car and when to conserve fuel and tires. His knowledge of pit stop timing and efficiency is invaluable. However, his overly cautious nature can sometimes slow down aggressive race tactics. He’s also prone to second-guessing in tense moments, leading to indecisiveness in the heat of competition.

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4. “Gravel Grinder” Greta (Off-Road Expert)

Strength: Masterful at handling rough terrain and unpredictable road conditions
Weakness: Her love for off-road driving causes unnecessary wear on the car

Greta earned her nickname from years of off-road rally driving, and she’s the perfect driver when conditions get rough or the track’s surface starts falling apart. She thrives in chaos, finding speed on any surface, even when the road looks undrivable. Unfortunately, her aggressive off-road style means she often abuses the suspension, tires, and steering far more than necessary, which could lead to unexpected breakdowns or handling issues later in the race.

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5. “Pitstop Pete” Peterson (Pit Boss/Tire Expert)

Strength: Lightning-fast pit stops and tire changes under pressure
Weakness: Gets easily distracted by minor details, causing delays

Pete is the heart of the pit crew, ensuring every stop is a smooth operation. His lightning-fast hands keep pit stops as short as possible, and he’s a wizard with tires, swapping out worn-out rubber in mere seconds. However, Pete has a tendency to get hung up on minor issues or overthink a task, which can lead to unnecessary delays when time is critical. Whether it’s obsessing over tire pressure or rechecking bolts that don’t need it, Pete can sometimes be his own worst enemy.

24h24_-_Vortex_TS.car (37.7 KB)

[Rambow]

saying “yeah theres gonna be gravel” anywhere in the post would have helped, now ive basically made an oval racer that cant track dirt for hell (as for the track, i cant load it for some reason it just doesn’t work).

Idk if im gonna do this anymore, i was already skeptical about the “lore heavy” thing, and now my car sucks so I’ve still gotta do all the driver profiles and the entry stuff, just so i can finish last…

How long do we have left exactly anyway?

[Knugcab]

It has been QUITE CLEAR from the start that this event is going to be ran on the Höljes track, that you are free to download and test the track times for your car on, right? You have had lots of time to try out what works on that track and not.

If you’re not going to do it, then it is up to you, I can’t force you into it.

When submissions end is written in the first post, and maybe I would have given you a less salty answer if you had shown a somewhat better attitude, but now my answer will be, if you weren’t able to read that, what does even say that you had read a line about “there will be gravel at the track” at all?

[Rambow]

Automation doesn’t calculate surfaces in its tracks, that’s why i was confused. I was trying to figure out if we were running this like SbxRally with timing sheets and variables or using track times ingame with variation. that’s all I’m asking.
If my tone came across as harsh, that was not my intent. I am merely annoyed the same thing has happened twice now with similar/related events.

[Rambow]

Ok, seeming as there’s nothing else i can do, i’m submitting now.

Team name: A Wing And A Prayer.

Car: Modified Astral T3, (purchased with £1425 of microwave and electronics sponsorships)

Specs:

• 123 of Astral’s finest horsepowers, from a 2L I4
• The best in “what we already had on the car” tire technology
• “Performance optimising weight reduction” that may or may not be rusty holes in the floor
• Sponsorships that make it look less terrible (and may cover rust patches)
• Rear spoiler mounted on some old gas pipes that looks cool and “definitely makes it faster I swear” - Viv.

As for why its so “cheap” that’s best left to our resident racing driver, Clara Danver:

“It’s a steaming pile of rusty old s#!t, and I want to beat it with a hammer until its not even recognisable as something made by humans.”

Wow, strong words there, lets hope it will last long enough so Clara wont bludgeon it into a thousand pieces before the race…

[AndiD]

The Interceptors, Part två

The people

Jeremias Klackers, 38, from Rosendorf, Gasmea

Jens Mai, 35, from Rosendorf, Gasmea

Richard Hammersbach, 32, from Willburg, Gasmea

The car

1988 Mara Kavaler 4.0 SK

(not 24h-ified, didn’t have time)

The context and car condition

The donor car for Jens to restore the black 5 litre Interceptor Kavaler the team entered in the 2024 Shitbox rally this year.

The team decided to give the donor car a proper sendoff in the event…

Car condition is therefore:

• Missing bits of trim wherever Jens needed stuff to replace on the Interceptor Kavaler
• No high mileage on the car and engine, issues will be more about that the car has hardly been moving under its own power over the past couple of years
• Chassis and panels have some rust in exposed places
• Cracked windscreen on the passenger side
• Front left high beam and rear right lamp cluster broken
• Clutch on the worn out side (but only needs four shifts each lap thanks to V8) - and at least it has the manual, not the 3-speed slushbox of the Komfort Extra trims…
• The only things working on the inside are clock and fuel gauge
• Right rear door mechanism broken and door welded shut
• Some fluid is leaking (not brake fluid) but they were unable to determine in time where exactly it came from
• Carbs and suspension were tuned and aligned for the race, brake pads and spark plugs replaced

[tailgate_sniffer]

put whatever you want as the team name btw

[Happyhungryhippo]

The Trip to Höljes

including the teams Firulais by @Angelustyle, Speedfreaks by @nicxv and Chitco by @MrdjaNikolen and @Elizipeazie

“NO! YOU ARE NOT A GOOD BOY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”

“Chanty, what´s up? I know it´s hard to leave Hamlet behind but he is in good hands at your mother.”

“It´s not that… AAAAAARRRRGH! WE HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER CAR, PLEASE KILL ME!”

"Chanty! I told you to stop saying that, it´s really painful for me!

Meanwhile, Valentin already approached the ferry, and Thomas did the same. He drove the camping trailer with 110 kph at cruise control, so that Jan and Chanty would catch up until the ferry, while he would close up to the slower Valentin.

While Valentin appeared at 4 PM at Höljes, Thomas, who took a wrong route, needed a bit more time, when the SUV with the Trailer raced at 17:15 to the camping site. His first action was walking towards Valentin and asking him how the drive was.

“Oh, not much happened, but the loading of the other car was equally…adventurous…”

Valentin smiled a bit, and Thomas didn´t get that Valentin meant his tall size as the challenge.

“Oh, you still get something from me? Signatures or such?”

“One moment please… eh, here is it. With your signature you confirm the arrival of your vehicle, and there are the copies and the documents that I had to fill in while the drive, and… here are the keys.”

Thomas walked to the Globus, started the car that suddenly turned all heads with the deafening noise, but when he put the car into reverse, the car made a weird jerk and a disgusting grinding noise.

“AAAH CRAP, I forgot to tell you: The reverse gear is gone. Thats why it was so cheap but I was too drunk to read the advert profoundly, so … well. What now?”

Valentin waved to Thomas, visibly annoyed from the noise, to get out and have a talk a bit away from the car to be able to understand each other.

“This would have been important to know before loading it… Hm, I think I need to push then.”

The first meter, due to the lack of space for the 221 cm tall Valentin, was the most difficult, and Thomas had his problems with the mirrors both being damaged, but they finally managed to get the car off the trailer and bring it in a position from which Thomas could shift to D and drive off.
Thomas then came briefly back to say Valentin goodbye.

“Yes, thanks, and eeh… good luck, then”

After parking the car, then putting the large camping trailer off the hook and stabilizing it, Thomas grabbed a beer and wanted to have a rest, but then the first visitors appeared.

“THOMAS?”

“eeeeh, I don´t buy anything!”

“Looking at your race car, I can say that you DO buy any junk! Don´t you remember me?”

“Eh, I do, from Holsia… aren´t you… Pythagoras?”

“Almost.”

Pi pulled up Andreas sleeve a bit, showing the tattoo.

“Ah, Pi, yes. And you were…Andrea, right?”

“Why do you remember her name and not mine? That´s not fair.”

“Is life fair? And does it even have to be?”

“With that attitude, it´s no wonder that your daughter is depressed. Nah, sorry, that was too salty, I guess. But, where is Chanty? I was looking for her already, is she fine?”

“Propably got stuck at McDonalds on the way. But, they will arrive soon, I think. With Jan as navigator and translator this should work.”

“CHANTY, YOU WILL KILL US!”

“Don´t worry, if I go off the road, I will try to hit the trees with the driver side, you can live happy without me, but I can´t live without you.”

“Instead of telling such a shit, could you slow down?”

“BUT WE ARE LATE!”

“Yes, because you need half an hour even for putting on shoes. The ferry staff was damn pissed at you being a sloth.”

“I am still totally stressed, because you dropped and left the keys to my car unattended. You know Hamlet and that he ates everything that lies on the floor. This car is the only one I found the keys for AND that wasn´t repaired by my father so that I can trust it, but is not only slow, it also handles like…”

“SHIT!”

A deer jumped in front of the car, Chanty panicked and braked hard, the brakes locked and with immense body roll, the old Primus spun.

“Are… you ok? Chanty?”

“Did… I hit it?”

“I don´t think so?”

“GO AND CHECK! IF I WAS A MURDERER, I CAN´T FORGIVE MYSELF!”

Jan looked at the front of the car, but thankfully no signs of a collision were visible.

“Nope, everything alright… we can continue.”

Almost two hours later, Jan and Chanty arrived at the track, and spotted a quite sad young guy.

“Jan, can I cheer him up?”

“Why are you asking?”

“I… don´t want to make you feel jealous or such, and…therefore I ask if I am allowed…”

"Chanty, I am not such an asshole, you can look after him, and I will unload the car with Thomas. I don´t want you to do that anyway because of your back pain anyway.

Said that, she left the car, and Jan took over, continuing the last meters to Thomas´camping trailer with noticeable diesel clatter, which made the other guy turn his head what kind of vehicle just arrived, when Chanty already sat down next to him

“Hey, what´s up?”

“Sorry? What language is that?”

Chanty immediately realized that the language barrier is a thing now, and made her famous “ORRRR!” and in anger about herself, hit herself in the face.

“What the fuck are you doing there?”

“I am dumb. Wenigstens des kannsch uff Englisch. [at least that I can say in English.]”

Jani recognized from the plate of the car that slowly drove off that his conversation partner must be german, although with a very weird dialect that sounded quite funny. He put out his phone, using a translator app, and with that it worked not perfect but good enough to have a basic communication.

“Nice that you care for me, Chantal, but… that´s a personal matter, but, your hug felt really good. It´s funny, you are the second cool blue haired girl I met in a row.”

“Really? Another copy of me?”

“Oh, you do share a bit, but Alex is far from a copy.”

“I guess she is more beautiful than me… not such a fat pig.”

“Hey, you remember that you came here to cheer ME up? And now it´s you who is crying. I think something went wrong then. Let´s talk about…something else.”

“Cars then?”

“Oh, you are a car girl?”

“I AM AT A FUCKING RALLY RACE TRACK! No, I hate cars, but I like horses and barbie!”

“Oh, sorry…”

“Now that I think of it, actually I do like horses, because I love animals, and Barbie… nah, they are cute.”

“How many horses does your car have then? By the way… it sounds very very unique. Is that a turbodiesel?”

“five cylinder Diesel without turbo…”

“In that large car? Oh, now I know why you arrive this late!”

Chanty rolled her eyes to act annoyed, but actually, she thought Jani was a little bit funny.

“Anyway, you want to come with me then? It´s better than sitting here alone. Or do you want to show me your team?”

As Chanty was included in the Y.E.A.R group chat as one of Angels closest friends, he also knew that Chanty didn´t use her small blue car, called “Sonic”, but some old behemoth from her father, and he spotted the old Primus Imperator slowly trying to squeeze itself through the parking lot to Thomas camping trailer.

“Hello Rhinos!”

Thomas, already a bit drunk, just waved with his beer bottle, but doing that he spilled the remaining beer onto himself.

“Ah, SHIT!”

“When I said you need a shower, I didn´t mean that.”

“Jan, YELLOW CARD!”

“Where is Chanty? Is she ok?”

“Sure, just got stuck with some guy, but I guess she´s totally fine and soon here. Should I call her?”

“No, Jan, we can wait… I just wanted to introduce her to my new team… and they are also curious to meet her.”

Thomas opened himself another beer and lighted a cigarette.

“When she`s back, I will tell her you wanted to chat with her. Her driving starts tomorrow at 6 PM, she doesn´t need to go to sleep early…we start with Jan, because he is the most careful driver and best at staying out of trouble. I want the car to not be bashed early, since with the whole field still competing in the early phase, there is too much traffic for me to use up all the engine power of our car.”

“So, Thomas, you have made some very thought-out tactics then, like a team manager?”

“Yep. I am here for fun, and I dont care if I win or not, but since this is a competition, of course I aim for a result as good as possible.”

After Angel was gone, Jan turned towards Thomas.

“Well, we seriously do something wrong.”

“How that?”

“Everyone asks for Chanty, but nobody for us.”

“Just look at the people. I am way too old for them, and you are not relaxed enough. At least your issue can be fixed. Here, get a beer.”

[Rambow]

Clara Danver

Our resident racing driver, and rampaging lunatic. If it was legal she would absolutely be fitting a James Bond spike trap to the car to try and throw off attacking teams (not that they’d get close to her anyway).
(a race in which Clara does what she wants)

She’s the 2018, and 2019 SSR karting champion, and current leader of the karting drivers union (just don’t ask what happened to the old guy). After failing to win the S#!tBox rally this year, only finishing one stage in 1st place, she’s seemed to have gone just a bit crazy. Something about a winch and a tree if recall correctly. She’s married to Vivian, and they met as a result of zed challenge, so it will be interesting to see how they get along in another budget constrained challenge.

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Jamal Slough

Despite the name, he doesn’t come from Slough, He’s from Arjenia, which he refuses to elaborate on what specific real country this is based on, ummm, I mean, its a country with a hot climate, lots of sand, and where nothing ever grows, no rain or ever snow. He’s the formula regional champion there, and after asking the local board to verify this, they instead sent us a poster of him… just before a crash. Oh dear.

Unlike Clara he actually seems to care if he dies or not, but somehow that doesn’t stop him making dives for overtakes he doesn’t even see the corner for yet. Very interesting indeed. It seems him and Clara have past experience racing together, although were and when exactly is unclear.

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Vivian Speed

Again, Vivian seems to have absolutely nothing to do with their last name, why does this keep happening. Actually being a geographer, and studying on-off for an economics degree, Viv is naturally a careful driver, after seeing how much a crash will effect an insurance premium. If you think of a geography teacher driving a green Veltvo (its an original name I swear), imagine them holding up zed geography teacher at a roundabout.
(The world if everyone driving was vivian)

Since S#!tBox rally, Viv has definitely taken a liking to mechanics, stripping down the T4 the couple used on that trip for civilian use (although they haven’t quite figured out how to put it back together yet). There’s allot of commonality between those two cars (which is alarming considering ones a 70’s econobox, and the other is a poor mans 944 legally distinct budget sports car).
They absolutely insist the comically tall rear wing made of gas pipes, PVLA glue and prayers, doesn’t just slow down the car, and actually provides an enormous amount of downforce.

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There is one more character, although they aren’t a mechanic, and certainly aren’t a driver.

Surprise Character

This is Miceal, owner of a somewhat successful electronics company, called “Michal Wave” (no points for guessing what they make).
Being a close acquaintance of Vivian (whom he met in an economics class), he was more then happy to give the team whatever money they needed for the car… As long as it was under £1000… And they put his company logo all over it… And the names of some other companies he owed money to… For free… man this guy is a sleazy salesman

Logos

Luckily, the rest of the companies the team were now legally obligated to put stickers absolutely everywhere of realised they couldn’t get a sponsorship, if there wasn’t a car to sponsor…
So Yangwoo sent them a seat (not for the car, that would be silly, they make recliners so they sent them an armchair), Phenox sent them an additional £500 to fix the numerous flaws in the car and put in a roll cage, although they requested in return they say how great there washing machines are at every interview, and Uken actually helped and sent them a starter motor. I mean, it was the starter motor for an air conditioning system, but if it works it works I guess…

How Miceal ended up owing such strange companies money is obviously down to his genius economic abilities, and not because all the banks said no to a plastic microwave, but surely accepting this lucrative deal wont come back to bite the team later…

[Knugcab]

OK, a little bit over 3 hours left, if I haven’t gotten a .car file by then, you’re out. I might give a (short) leeway for the rest but the car file is a minimum requirement by then if you want to be in the challenge.

[Rambow]

Just sent mine. I will be doing more detail on what they did to the car, and why it was in the price range in the time it will take you to set the thing up.

[stm316]

Team “Left for dead”, 3 guys who know exactly how fast their car is. Jeff Stone, Lionel Winters and Howard Goldman were regulars at the local dog track, following a string of tips from a mutual business associate. They won, but interest from other parties made it obvious a change of scenery was wise.

The car:
A 1982 Cutter Freebooter 1200E. The original 33KW 1.2L Eco gave up the ghost, and was replaced by a 1.6 from an otherwise very similar car. Sans mufflers, the 49KW unit made it a whole lot not speedier. A rear wing found in a crate got bolted on the back and blessed with half a glass of sherry-turned-vinegar.

The guys ended up in Sweden, conveniently close to Holjes, as luck would have it. Spending a couple of weeks in Uglyheadin…sorry, Uggleheden, suspiciously close to Holjes, they figured it was a case of “why not?”. The car was a daily for the local pizza boy/tour guide/herbalist in Sysselback, and had just been replaced by a 2006 Seat Ibiza. They still had a bit of their winnings, and had been told to stay out of Denmark for at least a year. Exactly why they went to Sweden, I can’t tell you.

Jeff and Howard have some experience with keeping their cousin’s (yes, they’re related) Reliant Robin functioning, while Lionel (he’s the cousin) is reasonable behind the wheel. They’ve been restoring granny Norma’s Goggomobil T250 in their spare time, bless her cotton socks.

What’s broken?

• No glass in the passenger side mirror housing
• Rear bumper punched in, not sure if the bolts are broken
• Zero dash cluster lighting
• Warp in LH front brake disc
• There’s a metal patch welded over a rust hole on behind the RH door.

[Chaedder]

Team name: “The Rot”
A prog metal band from the USA looking to gain publicity by racing shitboxes. They are comprised of 3 members:
King Gila: Metalworker and drummer. He owns a 2004 Rav 4 with a straight piped exhaust, just cause.
The hideous sun demon: singer, guitarist, driver, and cook. he owns a ruined mk4 supra.
Sadie: Accountant, bassist, and the second driver. her car of choice is a leaf.

Their clunker of choice is a base model JDM 1984 Iishi Okada Kaeru

obviously the one they found isn’t a great example. This particular model got imported to America by a man named Carl who managed to crack the windscreen in the first week of ownership. Being a car sold only in Japan the only real way for him to get a new windscreen was to import a whole car, so he didn’t. The car sat, and sat, and rotted away for 20 years. the suspension and wheels becoming unusable, and the fibreglass bodywork sprouting plant life.

Then Carl died and our heroes buy up his car for cheap in his estate sale. Horrors ensue.
The windshield is smashed out fully and replaced by an twisted old gate, the rotted wheels are replaced by Gila’s rav 4 wheels, the ruined suspension replaced by a custom shed job. the interior is ripped out and replaced by a roll cage, the broken popups are pried open by steel, the squishy exterior is adorned with defensive bars. The old exhaust system is replaced by custom zoomies, and the car is branded with the name of their imaginary god. An ebay spoiler, racing tape, and an aliexpress replica goats skull are the finishing touches to this beautiful mess.

Riding off the sales of their first and only album, The Rot buys a two way ticket to finland, and ride to the airport in HCCULA, somehow cramming 3 people into a car with one seat

24h24_-chaedder-_ishii_okada_Kaeru_150SL__hccula.car|attachment (185.6 KB)

(and the base model if someone wants it ishii_okada_Kaeru_-_150SL.car (128.6 KB))

[Knugcab]

Submissions are now CLOSED!

If you haven’t done team or car presentation or if you still want to fill in the driver sheets, do it ASAP.

No .car-files will be accepted from now on!

[06DPA]

Team Vet Inte - Introduction

The team is a group of young car enthausiasts lacking creativity to the point it’s not even funny. Rasmus is the one who acts as the “leader”, but really has no idea what he’s doing. Martin is the James May of the group, and wants to do everything by the book. Jonathan eats a lot, and is a man of speed and power, and is the one to push limits. Uncle, called that despite only being 4 years older than the rest of the group, acts like an old man with his hobbies including model trains. Andreas just tagged along because he has nothing better to do, and hasn’t driven a car before, nor does he know how they work.

[Knugcab]

COPIED FROM THE TRAFIKJOURNALEN WEB SITE:

With 24h coming up, we have done some minimal adjustments to make our Archanan wonder comply with the harsh conditions. What’s left of the lights has been taped. A roll cage welded in, as well as the rest of the interior stripped out and a racing seat put in. Hey, we even installed a brand new “racing” steering wheel from a sketchy ebay vendor in it, to get rid of the old gooey Archanan plastic. No, we don’t know why it smells like fish.

The remains of the exhaust piping has been stripped, some really beautiful go fast decals are complementing the ones that were already there. Now, let’s see if the Archanan mini-tank will survive this tough competition in one piece!

[nicxv]

Meet the Teams - Part 1

Including the team Rhinos by @Happyhungryhippo

By now, things were warming up in Höljes, many other teams had shown up, many of them driving some actually weird cars. From an old police cruiser, to a weird, polished sports car looking thing, to the official Trafikjournalen team? Things would most likely become quite fun. By now, Jani was already talking with someone else from another team, the second cool blue-haired girl that he had met in a row, apparently.

Kari: Hey, Jani. Me, Alex and Rami are going to meet the other teams, do you- oh, sorry. Who…is she?

Jani: Oh, she’s Chantal, I just met her. Chanty, he’s Kari.

Chanty: Hi…I am Chantal, but my friends call me Chanty…nice to meet you…

**Kari: Oh, I’m Kari. I’m with Jani and the rest of our team…but I’m not racing. By the way, do you have a team?

Chanty: Oh yes, we are the Rhinos…which are my father, my boyfriend and…me ruining it for them…

Kari: Alright, maybe we can meet them? I have a few friends of mine I want you to meet.

They, apparently, seemed to be getting along quite nicely with each other, well, god knows what would happen when the rest of the team is introduced to them. Especially certain…problematic elements, such as Mikko…

Chanty: Wait…I can call them! She would grab her phone, and quickly dial Thomas’s number. Hello dad? Jan doesn’t answer, but…ah. Nah! It’s not the food that I cooked! His stomach is just sensitive! Would you please come over to the Finns? No! I don’t know if they have beer for you! Stop drinking, I need you! And move your ass!

*As she was calling her father, two more of the Speed Freaks would approach Jani, Kari and Chanty. Rami, the american car enthusiast, and Alexandra, the girl from Ontario who would definitely get along extremely well with Chanty.

Kari: Okay, looks like everyone is here. Nice to know you people, I’m Kari. This is Rami, and this is Alexandra.

Alexandra: Hey, you got nice hair, girlie. She winked to her, before giving her a high five.

Chanty: Oh, really? You think it’s…I mean, yes, I really love it, it’s so…me?

Rami: Wait, you’re the guys with the Grand Cruiser? You have taste, you could say I like American cars as well.

Thomas: Thanks, pal! Yes, it’s a really good car, as long as you don’t want to turn, haha!

Rami: Those are still body-on-frame, right? Don’t need to turn if you can pit-maneuver someone, am I right?

Thomas: Last year we went with a small and light vehicle, and Jan was almost crushed in that demolition derby, so I went for something heavier this year, and the police package really makes it durable.

Rami: Those are reliable cars, hundreds of thousands of miles on those long american roads, and they work like a charm.

Thomas: These components have a higher quality, so it will surely last longer in this event than the looks suggest.

Jani: Oh, our car’s not that interesting, actually. It’s a first generation Sedlak Silva, well, it’s kind of interesting, it’s the 1.8 Turbo with 4-wheel-drive. They’re fast…but the turbos are pretty sketchy. We found it in our mechanic’s shed.

Rami: I have a muscle car myself, the '71 Ferndale over there. Green and purple paintjob, made by a local artist in Finland, and it’s got the 429 Big Block. No grip on the dirt roads, but it’s not meant for that.

Jan: Oh, interesting color combination. Chanty would love it.

Chanty: I do!

Thomas: I was afraid you would say that…

Rami: Hey, if you want to, I might let you hear it later, just need to set the carbs and then-

Someone would arrive to interrupt this moment of companionship. Someone who’s sole objective in this race was win, win both first place, and Alexandra’s heart, and that wouldn’t stop at anything. Mikko Harjanne, son of a rally driver, a kid with all the possibilities in the world, and with an attitude…

Mikko: Hei! Mitä vittua täällä tapahtuu? Keitä nämä tyypit ovat?

Alexandra: Oh my fucking god…Mikko! Not now…for fuck’s sake…

Kari: Calm down, you. It’s just another team we’re meeting.

Mikko: Oh. So, you’re the…uh, Rhinos, right? Heh…

Chanty: Yeees!!!

Mikko: Looking at Chanty with a look of superiority on his face, then back at Thomas. I…expected more from our competition, I’ll be honest.

Chanty: Sorry, I didn’t mean to annoy you…I…better go now if you want…

Thomas: Why are you looking that hostile at my daughter? She might be a bit…special, but why don’t you relax a bit?

Jan: That’s so typical of you, instead of comforting your daughter, you are starting a cockfight with strangers!

Alexandra: Mikko for fuck’s sake I-

Thomas: I will not be a stranger to him soon, he will get to know me VERY WELL if he intimidates Chantal like that again.

Jan: HAHA! Look at the number, Thomas. I think him being salty is part of the roleplay.

Thomas: Eh? Why? AAAH…the 1312. Yes, that’s a good one indeed.

Mikko: Anyways…what can I say, she’s probably not even gonna make the first corner. I’m going to get a beer, see you around…Rhinos.

Well, the situation seems to have escalated quite a lot, now, what was a friendly introduction, was quickly ruined by a guy just wanting to get others angry.

Chanty: He’s probably right. I am not making it…

Jan: Didn’t you say that I am the worst driver of our team?

Chanty: Yes, but…I don’t know, he is probably right, I mean, I suck at everything…

Thomas: Except spending my money…

Jan: Thomas! Shut up! Was your beer too bitter or what’s wrong with you?

Thomas: Yes, yes, I know…but Chantal, you really need to gain confidence, because you are good at driving, and honestly not too bad as mechanic. Show that idiot what a girl can do and stuff him his comments back into his ass…

Jani: Hey…I’m so sorry for what just happened…Mikko’s just been acting like an asshole lately, even with me.

Alexandra: Look at him. With Akseli, Daniel and Samuel acting like they run the fuckin’ world. When we’re done with the race, I’m givin’ him the punch of a lifetime.

Jani: Don’t you think you’re…exaggerating?

Alexandra: Dude! He did the same to you! He punched you in front of everyone! For fuck’s sake Jani, you’re just gonna let everyone walk the fuck over you?

Kari: I see…the situation’s getting tense, does anyone want to go for some sausages? I should have some in my car.

Thomas: I am in for sausages!

Jan: You just did a barbecue! Damn!

Thomas: So what?

Chanty: You ate without meeee???

Thomas: Yes, because then there was a chance that there is finally enough for me. Also, your fault for not being in time.

Chanty: Turns to Jan. And you haven’t saved some sausages for me?!?!

Jan: Actually…eh, no, because…eh, I was hungry and they were delicious, that was a perfect match.

Chanty: You traitor!!! She starts crying, feeling rejected by her team.

Alexandra: Oh, come on. Hey, I’ll see if I can get some pizza delivered here later, alright? She would pat Chanty on her shoulder, before hugging her.

Chanty: Thanks…Alex-

Alexandra: Hey, no problem. Girls support girls, you already know.

Meanwhile, Thomas, Kari, Rami and Jan are eating sausages, drinking beers, and talking about cars. The true peak male lifestyle.

Kari: …And they don’t make them like they used to, you know? Classics, they have a soul, and modern cars…really don’t.

Rami: Plus, the sound, the style, you’re one with the car. You’re driving it, it’s not…you know, it driving you.

Thomas: Actually, quite interesting cars here. I haven’t seem some of them in a while, and I didn’t think an Arva Kondor would still exist, especially in Sweden. And the Firulais…

Jan: Y.E.A.R!

Thomas: Ah, yes, your one-eyed mindreader has a new team, yes. How am I supposed to remember a new name when I finally manage to remember the old one.

Chanty: Angel is there?!?!

Thomas: Well, when he is obviously not here, he must be over there, yes.

Jan: Even if I really like the safety of modern vehicles, I must say that these rides here are really interesting. I wonder how they all drive. I’m actually just used to Chanty’s car, and had to practice a bit with our bluesmobile…

Thomas: Now, back to you two. You’re right. The good old times when men were men and dumbass drivers died from accidents instead of being saved by airbags, now THAT kept the roads safer.

Chanty: I can’t believe you just said that! You are unbearable!

Thomas: I thought you inherited that from your mother, and not me…

Jan: Would you two stop it now?!?!

Thomas: Yeah, fine…what I really do like is seeing people my daughter’s age are also driving classics, because that’s great training for driver skills, you need to connect to your machine and feel it, no electronics cheating on physics here. You learn a lot there that’s helpful in daily traffic and in emergency situations.

Chanty: So, does our airbag work?

Thomas: I don’t think so, why? Wait…NO CHANTAL! NOT THESE THOUGHTS AGAIN!

Jan: Yes, that guy was an idiot, he is just afraid to lose against a girl, that’s why he was intimidating you.

Meanwhile, Jani, Alexandra and Chanty were now talking to each other, hopefully the two could help comfort the girl that was just hurt by their teammate.

Jani: Hey…I’m sorry for the way that Mikko acted, again. It hurts to see you…sad like this.

Alexandra: Do you need another hug? Or something else? 'Ya know, we’re both here for you.

Chanty: Yes…Jani, but… She would start crying again.

Thomas: People have been mean to her most of her life, and treated her really bad, that’s why…

Chanty: If everyone says I am uselesss then it must be true! You said yourself that if everyone say something, so many people can’t be wrong!

Thomas: Oh, there are a lot of people buying brand new LuxLunae (Stellantis) group cars, so…a majority can be wrong?

Chanty: Still, I don’t want to talk about these painful memories…it’s all giving me enough nightmares.

Alexandra: Hey, I get you, listen, whenever you want to, you can talk to me, alright?

Thomas: Well, it’s obvious that you aren’t over it, looking at your hair.

Chanty: My hair color has nothing to do with my mental health!

Thomas: Nobody without psychological problems would dye her hair b-

Alexandra: Ahem…excuse me old man?

Thomas: Yeah, fine, I am already silent…does anybody have a beer?

Thomas goes back to Rami, Kari and Jan’s little talking spot, leaving the three of them with only each other again.

Alexandra: Chanty, listen. I’m going to make sure that Mikko, the fascist piece of shit, I HAVE SEEN HIS REPOSTS, I CAN CONFIRM, will get what is coming to him, and he won’t mess with you again, alright? And he won’t mess with you too, Jani, I promise.

Chanty: Thanks… She would hug Alexandra again, and lean on her shoulder. Alex more than happily let her do that.

Jan: Hey…I’m also here?

Thomas: Yeah, but you also ate “her” sausages, don’t you remember?

Jan: That’s not fair!

Thomas: Is life supposed to be fair?

Jan: Not this discussion again, Thomas!

Chanty: Hey, Alex, I have to go, see you! She would kiss Alex on her forehead, before leaving. Alex let her do that happily as well. And with that, the Rhinos left the scene.

Alexandra: Oh…she’s such a sweetheart, why would someone hate her?

Jani: Hey…thanks for everything…Alex. You’ve been nice to me this entire trip, why though? We barely even know each other!

Alexandra: Why shouldn’t I be nice to you? You’ve been nice to me all this time too! It’s just decency dude…plus, since I’ve known you, you’ve been the best guy friend I could ever have had.

Jani: There’s something I should tell you…

Alexandra: Ok, tell me then. Is it anything wrong? You know you don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable, dude.

Jani: Well, it’s- nevermind. I’ll tell you some other time, alright?

The situation seemed to have calmed down, Jani and Alexandra hung with each other, Henrik, Rami and Kari were eating sausages and talking about cars, but there’s one group who still I haven’t mentioned. Samuel, Daniel, Mikko and Akseli, what were they doing? Apparently nothing useful, playing Ventti, betting money, and having extremely intelligent discussions about women.

Samuel: You guys clearly do not know how to play. Daniel? Give me my 100 euros, please.

Daniel: Come on! Fuck’s sake- HERE! Slams the 100 euros on the table

Mikko: Looks like Jani still hasn’t learned the lesson, huh…he’s still trying his best to steal her from me.

Samuel: Why do you want to date a commie like her? Look, it’s gonna be miserable, you find yourself a nice, clean girl like I did, you marry her-

Daniel: Marry her? Who the fuck wants to marry someone? I wanna fuck a different girl every night, remember Erasmus?

Mikko: You idiot, you didn’t even see a girl, the Italians were stealing all of them. Whatever. I just want to, alright.

Samuel: You seriously wanna fuck an activist who probably smells like the tent she’s slept on campus with for the past two weeks? You’re better than that.

Mikko: I could convert a lesbian if I wanted to, it’s gonna be easy to make her normal. (He, in fact, does not know)

Daniel: Mikko’s right, how hard can it be?

Mikko: Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Daniel. We need to focus on making Jani stop dating her, and you guys gotta help me. AKSELI! You in?

Akseli: Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. I won’t help you, but I won’t tell anyone, just give me a car to work on.

Mikko: Man! You’re no fun-

(I do not associate myself with this dialogue. I’m nonbinary myself, I am just representing the shittiest type of human being that ever crossed the earth)

[Knugcab]

Some REALLY high quality RP this year, that’s so much fun to see.

You probably will have some time for pre-race RP still, just so you know. The more complex calculations this year will take some time to get done. I just hope you won’t lose interest, because this looks really promising.

[Happyhungryhippo]

Also, I dont mind seeing anthargonists. Only nice people that make a happy family would take away a lot of tension. We need the one or other villain, and without Marie in SR or Mikko here this wouldnt work.

[Knugcab]

Considering that this usually ends up as a car-nage I guess they can form themselves in an unexpected way sometimes