I think we are making a intertwined lore but different cars, I’m already picking up a broken trans and shit engine 90s lift back, or that’s my plan
I can imagine, now I’m imagining what if Sean Connery were playing a Jewish man instead of Irish
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Green Turd Racing
The Team:
Lupus: A 15-year-old hyperactive child with a learner license and a short temper who “fixed” a chainsaw once by replacing the clogged air-filter with an old sponge and now considers himself a mechanic, is a wiz at following instructions found on the internet.
Beth: Lupus’ 83-year-old grandmother who has agreed to accompany lupus on the journey being that Lupus is a learner driver and his parents would not allow him to take part if they knew about it. She will pretty much do nothing but sit in the passenger seat and knit sweaters, but at least this is one team that will not go cold. Unbeknownst to Lupus she has never actually held a vehicle license.
The Car: 1965 Shaphe 800
Lupus: Who needs $500 when a beautiful old classic like the 1965 Shaphe (Sha-Fay) 800 crashes into the front porch of your parents’ house, while you’re screaming at your useless Overwatch teammates to get on the objective. The previous owner ran away before anybody could react, (obviously realising that the damage is worth more than the car) and that is how I came into possession of possibly the worst car ever made.
Surprisingly the car suffered very little damage in the crash save for both headlights which I replaced with a couple of old torches I found in the attic and some half dead batteries out of mums “adult toys”.
Other “modifications” include removing the rusty old exhaust that was hanging loose after the crash, hence the car now requires earmuffs to drive (or in grandmas case turning down her hearing aid), cushions for the ridiculously uncomfortable ride, a shower scraper for wiping down the windscreen when it rains, 200hp worth of scratch and sniff stickers plastered on the rear window, racing stripes and some fluffy dice to hang from the roof where the mirror once was.
From factory this beauty(piece of shit) produced a whopping(dreary) 40 horsepower from its 800cc 3 cylinder engine which is delivered to the rear wheels via a 2-speed column shifter, the Shaphe 800 certainly isn’t going to be the fastest car in the competition, it may not even make it up the first hill, but don’t be surprised if it eventually crawls over the finish line…
Beth: On the back of a tow truck…
11 Likes
oh whew. 4 people team?
me, @Sillyducky, @FrankNSTein, and @JohnWaldock ?
or do we just wanna split into 2 teams?
3 Likes
Team Bamford
The Team
Ken Clark: The 70 something owner of Bamtech Supercars, who make small batches of Super/Race cars under the name “Bamford”, which was a sports car company run by Ken from 1966 - 2006.
Jason Clark: Ken’s 24 year-old Grandson, an amateur racer and part-time 7/11 Attendant.
Phillip Glasse: Jason’s 23 year-old friend, A Youtube trained mechanic who owns at least 2 Toyotas at any given time.
Simon Bhatt: The 18 year-old grandson of Teuton founder Ranvir Bhatt- the Indian sister company to Bamford that specialized in industrial engines and cheap sports cars.
The “Car”
1997 Bamford Advance
Ken had been skeptical about his grandson’s crazy idea to go roaring around in an old bomb for two days, but, eager to enjoy his life a little bit more,he had agreed to ride with the boys as a riding mechanic, after all, he’d built LeMans and Grand Prix winners in his day, sure he wasn’t as agile or as eager as he was a few years ago, but doing a little roadside maintenance on some old Baltazar (or even a KHT if he was lucky) seemed like a nice way to spend a few days with his grandson and his mates.
It wasn’t.
Jason, Phillip and Simon arrived in a car outside Ken’s house and he eagerly went outside to see what car they had bought.
“You’ll love it pop!” called Jason “It’s a Bamford!”
Ken smiled, if there were any cars that he knew, it was the ones he’d built himself and for $500 it was going to be something simple, like an old Laguna or Teuton with a nice, easy to maintain engine.
It wasn’t.
Ken quickly frowned when he saw the car that the 3 boys were pointing out to him.
“How’d you buy that for ($500 USD)?”
Jason smiled “Never you mind!”
“These sold for ($200,000 USD) Jason, how did you buy it for ($500 USD)?”
The car in question was an IG Advance Luxus-Boot, a top-end luxury limo from 1996 that came with a 1000hp V8 and a top speed of around 340km/h.
http://i1150.photobucket.com/albums/o601/AB_Photogrpahy/20170428130843_1_zpsfjosfyoo.jpg
Ken began looking carefully at the car and realized it wasn’t an IG Advance, it was an IA Advance, the V6 version from 1994 that had been poorly modified to look like an IG, with an obnoxious hood scoop on the bonnet and lots of cheap chrome plating.
“You wanted to know how it cost $500?” asked Simon “Start it up”
Ken reluctantly climbed into the car and gave the V6 a kick, surprisingly it started, albeit rough, in fact, too rough for a V6…
“This is rattling like crazy!” called Ken
“Don’t worry, It’s a Good old engine” said Phillip “A real Workhorse”
Ken sighed, linking the hints together “Are you telling me you bought a base model IA, dressed up as an IG with a 3 Cylinder lighting plant generator in the engine bay?”
“Sure did, it took a bit of work but I’ve even got some decent power from the engine” said Phillip “All I had to do was tighten up the cam, change some bolts and wind back the timing a bit and it’s running sweet!”
“So it’s been retarded? How fitting.” mumbled Ken
Jason shot his grandfather a dirty look.
“It only takes 35 seconds to reach 90mph too!” continued Phillip, unaware of the scorn he was getting.
Ken sighed harder than before, he looked around the cabin at all the ill-fitting trim and asked one last question “Has this car been rolled over?”
http://i1150.photobucket.com/albums/o601/AB_Photogrpahy/20170428130840_1_zpsyehejcey.jpg
The Bamford-Teuton Workhorse 3.5L I3
The car came from a luxury car collector whose son had done up a V6 IA as a project car before crashing the car and heading to university, the father fixed the damage and then gave the car to his youngest son who wrecked the engine, put the last of the awful trim on and finally spent ages fitting a Bamford generator engine into the engine bay just so he could take the car to the local supermarket to impress the ladies.
Amazingly it worked and now that the youngest son is married the family has no use for the car and with it being a sorry bastard-dog of a car, the father sold it to the first fool who came along. Phillip Glasse was buying a Toyota Crown from the father who also offered the Bamford for a measly 300 pounds, just to be rid of the thing. Phillip then held onto the car for a while before finding out about the challenge and decided to finally do something with the car that had been sitting in his parents yard for a year.
http://i1150.photobucket.com/albums/o601/AB_Photogrpahy/20170428130847_1_zpstnqjbaln.jpg
Ken’s Notes:
V6 replaced with a worn Inline 3 that has been modified by an untrained fool.
Car has high amounts of rust in rear panels and most body panels damaged from “conversion” work and noticeable floor-pan rust from sitting in long grass.
It’s been involved in a mid-speed collision, as the front end is bent and askew, though the suspension still lines up fine and the airbags and ABS have been reset and repaired.
The front springs have been cut to lower the car while the back has 100kg of Barbell weights welded into the rear compartment to weigh the car down…
All Interior trim shows some severe levels of damage, aside from the front passenger seat
Only dashboard instrument that works is the temperature gauge.
Gearbox shakes like crazy when selecting reverse, forward gears are fine, especially for an old auto like this one.
It just generally looks awful.
Also, a separate video just to document the lovely chuffing noise that the I3 makes at idle:
8 Likes
Captin’s Log, Stardate 70789.9.
After talking with the mechanics and among each other we decided the car was not stupid enough for showing off to other people (we had to assume others were going to be participating in this event). If we really wanted to stand out, we had to take this little 4 banger to its limits… without dropping money into it. The first order of business was boosting the turbo to the moon and praying it didn’t explode. After some talk with the shop mechanics and some online research we figured out the installed turbo could be rigged up to produce a whopping 1.22 bar of boost! To support this massive boost increase we needed to up the ARF, upping it from 13.2:1 to 12.6:1 seemed to be about as much as we could squeeze from the engine. The engine was still running rough and producing poor power. We did not want to reduce boost pressure, and after the rigging we did on the turbo I don’t think we really could have if we wanted to, which meant jumping to the last resort, shaving down the already shaved piston heads to reduce the compression ratio and hopefully get the engine running well again.
Jump to a few hours and a borrowed lathe later, and we finally have an engine worthy of “ricer” status. We took some video of the engine on the dyno to show you how terrible it sounds in the low end, and just how piercing the turbo has become… but the results are undeniable. 322 NM of torque at 3100 RPM and 220 HP at 6100 RPM! Not only are we making 31 more HP than the original turbo mod, but a staggering 87 more HP than the stock engine! Not only that, but the car now does 0-100 kmh in a respectable 6.4s, more than half-a-second faster than the original turbo mod, and almost 3 seconds faster than the stock car. We also have some nice burnout capabilities from a stop, thanks to the ridiculous torque spike below 3000 RPM.
In addition to tuning the turbo, we also found out that the Bil has a rev limiter installed from the factory to increase reliability for the eco version of this engine. Removing this limiter took the redline from 6500 to 6700 RPM, not a huge difference, but the dyno tells us it was worth 0.1s off our 0-100 kmh time. Inspecting the car led us to conclude we had to do something with the rusting exhaust system. It looked like the exhaust was made from unprotected steel, it was basically just dust at this point. So off to the junk yard we went.
We spent a few hours at the junkyard trying to find some suitable car to steal exhaust parts from. We needed a cat and some pieces of straight pipe, and a muffler would be nice. Ryan and I argued for a while about what size of piping to look for, what car might have a suitable exhaust, etc. while Jason wondered around. A few minutes later Jason yelled for us, we followed his voice towards the back of the lot. Coming around a corner at the far end of the junkyard, right along the fence line, we saw Jason standing in front of a massive, lifted, 4x4. Now normally this would not have been helpful in the least bit, but it seems the previous owner of the truck went a bit Mad Max on it. There was exhaust pipe all over this thing, it looked more like a musical instrument than a car. But it was just what we needed to piece together our own exhaust system. We went to work cutting up the smaller tubing, 3.5", and pulling off a nice high-flow cat buried deep in the maze of tubing. Once we had a nice selection of pipe pieces we were a bit dismayed to realize the truck had no mufflers on it, and the day was running short to scour the junkyard much longer. Luckily as we were on our way out of the yard we happened across an over-turned sedan of some sort. it was smashed beyond recognition, but it was presenting us its under-belly, complete with a muffler in un-smashed condition. It only took us a moment to measure the muffler and confirm it would fit our 3.5" tubing, and another minute to saw it away from the vehicle’s carcass. in addition to the muffler, the car also gifted us with a couple of belts from the engine bay, surely one of these would fit the A/C in our car. Pleased with our haul we headed back to the repair shop to get to work tacking together our Frankenstein exhaust. We already knew the crazy high boost on the engine would kill it sooner rather than later, so exhaust system longevity was not a big concern.
Once the exhaust was adequately routed and the A/C brought back to life, we had to cut a little more of the front bumper away as the engine was running a bit hot. All in all, a good days work. Since we knew the mechanics pretty well than only charged us $20 for the dyno and another $20 to borrow their welder. For $40 we made this car a proper rice-beater… even if it may only live another year now.
4 Likes
SUPER TEAM!!!
Just curious… how did you know where to get the batteries? And Ewwwwwwww!
I like the idea of 2 teams with 2 people each (maybe with some intertwined lore). 4 is just too much.
For the car, koolkei and me are eyeing at some specific 80s sedan 
As much as I want to enter, ive got my proper exams in two weeks time. 
So Cole is sitting having a beer and playing some OpenTTD when John runs in with a newspaper and trips on his diabetic cat. “Dude! Check this shit out!” said John. Cole looks at the ad in the newspaper. “Those still exsist?” He says, referring to the newspaper. "Yes, old people still need something to give them crosswords but look at this article! It read “2 day lemon race to be held not far from here.” Cole continued to read the article while the cat lazily swatted at John. “Looks cool” said Cole, “we can do that before we go off to college.” Cole than asked John what he wanted to do. John said “let’s buy an old truck, that’ll be reliable enough to get though 2 days, or 2 decades.” Cole said “it’s so slow, why not a light hatch or coupe?” John said “that will break faster than an Alfa, plus we also got to find this for $500, that’s gonna limit our options to some trashy cars.” They talked a bit more and couldn’t agree how to approach it so John left Cole’s apartment and told him to get a nicer cat.
The next day Cole decided to just get something and tell John later, possibly a bad move. He got a truck from a neighborhood kid as long as he filled up the tank when he was done, cheaper than U-Haul. He got his old trailer out too. He did a quick Craiglist search and found a car nearby. The ad read “selling a Fahrzeug M1, $1000 or trade for a Volkswagen Cabrio mk3.5.” Cole had a 3.5 he used for engine parts but to give it a shot he called the lady selling it just to see. “Hello?” “Hi!” “Are you selling the M1?, I have a cabrio I can trade but it doesn’t have a working engine.” She said “that’s fine, I can come see it and think about it.” “Don’t bother, I can just drive this cabrio over.” “Ok then, you can come anytime today, see you later!” Cole got his coffee and left.
He pulled into a long driveway, the gravel made the empty trailer shake like hell. As he pulled up he saw a sizable lake and a new house. He met the woman selling it. She greeted him and went to inspect the cabrio. “I don’t see any rust and that’s all my son needs to fix his other one, a set of rust free body panels and good seats, I’ll take it I guess.” Cole thought “wait… Her son? Wtf?” but he didn’t care who it went to. Then she opened up the hood, “wait… Where is the engine?” Cole said “I told you it was missing, I used it.” She said, no, you told me it was broken, it’s fine but the scrap isn’t worth as much with no engine parts, I’ll offer $500 for it." Disappointed Cole went asked to just see the M1. They went to an old shed at least 1/2 a mile away. “My husband used to drive this every day, it works but is worn and it does not have a good clutch any more but the manual transmission works fine, it’s not rusted but the seats are ripped from 20 years of constant use. It wasn’t worth keeping it nice so he bought a new car, if you can get it working it is a very enjoyable car!” Cole said “Can I get it for $500? It has ripped seats and a poor clutch, please?” She said “I’ll go to $900.” “Any lower?” asked Cole? “Fine, $850 but that’s it” she said. The challenge asked for $500. This wasn’t looking good for Cole, she wouldn’t take the cabrio for much and the car was going to be over budget but he already was here. He was about to move on when he saw something in the back of the old shed. “What’s that?” he asked. She said “it’s an old truck from when we bought the house, it was left here, too rusty for anyone to even bother with and I am having trouble even getting rid of it, you can have it for free for all I care.” It was a JHW, a brand known fr it’s reliability and John would love it for the race. He said " I’ll take it." He gave her $350 extra and took both home after two trips.
Then Cole called up John. “I got us one lift back for $850.” John said “dude, we were gonna use a truck and $850 is over budget! What are we gonna do with that?” “I did get a truck too so you have some old JHW, I don’t know what it is, and I got a Fahrzeug M1 in shite condition, two cars for $850 puts us under $500 per car. I sold her the cabrio but I can pay for it as long as you can get us the parts.” John said “no problem” and went to check out the truck in the lot behind Cole’s apartment. It was rusty but started up fine, the M1 had serious clutch problems though, it worked but barely. Cole decided to post some pictures when it got light again because it was now night after all those trips. John said he would tell their friends @koolkei and @FrankNSTein tomorrow and see if they wanted to join in the now friendly competition.
@JohnWaldock this work well for you?
Note for everyone else, never type this long on your phone. I regret fully.
9 Likes
how did you fully accept that you’re being called as Cole now?
“well john. since you apparently also found the event that we were already planning to join anyway, i’m afraid you’re already too late. me and Frank have decided to just go with 2 of us. so, sorry, for this time we’re not your friends. we’re your rival. and if things go as plan, we’re gonna get our car tommorow. something that is NOT a truck. although it may get the same mileage as a truck.”
I decided i couldn’t be Ethan cuz I would never buy anything but mk4 golf lol. I did throw myself in there sorta but never said it was me. So to giys are doing one car? And how do these teams work? Is it the two of us mod two cars together and the two of you work on two cars together?
1 car per team. not per person.
other’s are role playing as more than 1 character, but still as 1 team therefore still 1 car.
Ok, you two pick a car and the two of us work on one car? That’s fine, I can have Cole hit the M1 with the truck.
So Cole and John were talking later that night. Both of them had been drinking a little much. Someone knocked on the door of Cole’s apartment. “Someone parked some ancient truck, something JHW, in my spot, was it you?” Cole then said “yes, I’ll move it” and told John to just stay. It’s almost midnight and he has had a few too many beers but Cole got the keys anyways. He came out to the parking lot, barely. He got in the truck and forgetting about the M1 in his other spot, which he normally has open. He then started to drive the truck over to the other spot, ignoring the tiny 3 door. In complete intoxicated idiocy he just started to run over the tiny lift back and the weight of truck crushed the back. “Shit! That was the car!” The front of the M1 was fine but the back was ruined. The suspension was bent and the window cracked. The trunk lid didn’t even resemble a back of a car. Of course the steel truck didn’t even resemble any damage other than a few white streaks on the rusted bumper. He went inside feeling like a total dumbass to tell John the news. “Well, I fucked my car, I guess we just have the truck now…” John didn’t ask because he knew Cole was pissed. He found out later when he left to go home and laughed his ass off all night. They then made plans for the truck. John would learn more about it and propose mods. Cole would then overview his proposal and make his own adjustments. They would then agree on what worked best and buy the parts. Even if they just want to keep it stock it’ll need a few parts that aren’t rusted, it looks like it was in a salt water bath for years.
Does this work @koolkei ?
And this is the new plan @JohnWaldock so just PM me the car files please and a file with your suggestions for mods.
I’m not really into roleplaying but I sort of do want to participate. Anyone want to collab?
Team Riot Uncontrol
“Hey! its the two german tourists again! Me, Paul , and my brother Aaron! Come and say ‘Hi’ Aaron…
He is a bit shy, but at least you got me ! So, last time we had a lot of fun in the ‘Roulette Runners’. It really was a great experience! Until of cause our Van’s chassis collapsed. Again i will be driving our ship and Aaron will be fixing it.
So but now to the car we got :”
“A 1968 HMC Cruiser ! A real street Titanic ! May it not sink. hehe…
Also: NO MORE OVERHEATING IN THE CAR!
However !
We found this purple cruiser on a online board for cars. The precious owner just wrote ‘Needs to go’.
As i first came to the shady neighborhood the buyer told me to come, i was first a bit worried.
But as the person lead me to his backyard and lifted the covers, i was surprised to find such a good condition car.
As i got into the car i was greeted with soft leopard bench seats ! They have weird spots on them and smell weird, but nothing a Tree air fresher can’t fix. Also the look under the hood impressed me, the owner was nice enough to give the engine block a nice wash ! As i wanted to open the boot , the seller was really weird. He didn’t wanted to open it.
But after some talk he did and damn, the boot looks like some pasta sauce exploded in that. Well, Happens.
I said i give him 500 bucks and he said ‘yes’ without skipping a beat. And now we are here !”
“WAIT WAIT WAIT”, Aaron comes into the shot "You got the car from a shady backseller in a bad neighborhood ?! "
“Yep”
“YOU TOLD ME, YOU GOT THE CAR FROM A DEALERSHIP”
“Yeahhhh i lied”
“If you weren’t my brother i would kill you right now”
“Talking about dead things. The smell from the boot is getting worse. So lets start cleaning”
TO-DO:
-Get Airfresher
-Get Ducttape
-Get some things to eat
-GET MORE DUCTTAPE
8 Likes
Man, I really hope we get some more participants. Only 3 days left till the start!