Aston's Orc Krew: Curiosity killed the cat, insanity killed the rebels
Somewhere in Caranavi, Bolivia…
Jack: Well, we sure got past some crazy shit. That Death Road did some damage.
Sly: Still can’t believe the Shitbox Brothers went out like that… We just outran the best team to ever run a lemon, and they are gone…
Hugh: Keep your head cold, Sly. You knew the risks for this. The locals don’t call it Death Road because it sells tourism leaflets better. And right now we still need to finish this second part or we’ll join them.
Jack: You don’t need to tell me that twice. (looks at rearview mirror) Wait… The Valhallas? Dammit, we only got a dinky 4-cylinder. No way we’re shaking a V6 limo off here.
The Limo gets closer, not quite overtaking the Nash. It keeps a slightly further distance, when suddendly a right-hand corner approaches.
Jack: Crap, this just gets better. With their girth, they can overtake simply by nudging us! And they’re gearing up for it, too.
Hugh (looking at rearview mirror): Wait… Shit, this isn’t good.
Sly (shaking in fear): Wha… what is going on!?
Hugh: Jack, evasive maneuvers, now!
Jack: The fuck are you…?
Hugh: I said now, dammit! Turn left!
Jack: Grr…!
The Nash suddenly veers left, right into a ditch! The Mad Max Limo still hit the brakes, but not in time to stop so much mass still at their speed. It careens off the cliff, going sideways and all the way down. Jack gets out of the car in a hurry, whilst Sly very slowly tumbles out, with Hugh in tow.
Jack: Holy fuckin’ shit, what the actual fuck were they thinking!?
Sly: My god, are they…
Hugh: Yes, they almost certainly are. They were going straight in our direction, they weren’t moving to the side to overtake us. Looks like they went for an assisted Viking burial with us.
Jack: This is complete bullshit! What fuckin’ reasons did they have to take us out!? And to top it all off, the motherfuckin’ car is beached! It’s gonna take us at least 2 hours or more to get all the wheels out! And it doesn’t help that we didn’t bring a winch…
Hugh: Jack, calm down.
Jack: How the fuck can I…!?
Hugh: I said calm the fuck down, soldier!
Jack (taken aback): …wow, where did that come from? Actually, never mind, you’re right. As a guy who does extreme sports for a livin’, I shouldn’t be mad about the ditch. (sighs) Thanks, Hugh, you saved my… no, our asses.
Sly: Yeah, what he said. Thanks, Mr. Ache. I don’t think I’m ready to die for someone else’s sake.
Hugh: We die when our breath doesn’t get lighter, Sly. But I wasn’t about to let you two die on a kamikaze attack. This ain’t Pearl Harbor.
Sly: Well… Now what?
Jack: Now we get to diggin’. But unlike those crazy fucks, who dug their own grave, we’re diggin’ ourselves out of ours. La Paz won’t wait forever, so get to it.
Sly (staring at the corner, sighing): …is this what you really wanted, Valhalla? Racing glory isn’t for those who die, but those who fight. Like the Gutierrez…
To Be Continued!
The true post-stage update will come tomorrow after lunch at earliest. And yeah, what was that about? I demand several explanations, @Vri404…