Home | Wiki | Discord | Dev Stream | YouTube | Archived Forums | Contact

CSR 109 - Straight Outta Retirement Home



At first I was going to do the reviews in character of a 70 year old lady who’s looking to buy a car. But after going through a few of them I found it to be quite confusing as to what’s good and what’s bad. Also, I don’t think it’s a pain in the ass to stay in character for the whole ordeal. So, let’s do this in my deliberation only. The reviews aren’t going to be long because I decided to redo the whole thing after I’ve done longer reviews for quite a few of them.

To start with, I must bin a few cars. @Vena.Sera423 FWM San Luis LS and @goblin95 Kasai Arial V6.

I don’t really want to judge the car with this much subjective quality, but they both have the same issue with styling way beyond the time period. While a car such as @Kobacrashi Reduit GSR99 can be handwaved as being slightly ahead of its time in some aspect. When a car is has features so obviously not in line with the time period it’s hard to overlook that when styling is a high importance criteria.

FWM San Luis has general shape in line with the time period, but the headlamp styling with its fuzzy and vaguely LED looking features, the car itself would’ve gotten the bin for its subpar comfort, drivability and high cost.

Kasai Arial on the other hand has other stats which is quite competitive. Not quite winning, but not a bad contender. But the styling put it out of the picture completely as the whole idea is way too forward thinking for the time period.

The next car to get bin is the @Rise_Comics Roadyacht Finale. This is for regulation reason as it has trim reliability of only slightly above 50. Way below the required 54. The engine also has knocking problem which contributed to that reliability stats.

Another car that gets the bin early is the @Hilbert Uranus S190 SE. For objective number crunching reason, the drivability is so below anything else, which is of course not ideal when drivability is one of the high importance criteria. The reason for this is the choice of manual transmission, which for subjective cultural reason very few retiree in Florida would choose deliberately.

The next car to go through the chopping board is the @DukeOFHazards Charge Elysee. This one you’ll find has sub-par drivability and I soon find out that it has a completely wack slow steering characteristic. It handles like a Corvair on space savers. Decent comfort and performance for the $39,900 price but with quirk such as this it wouldn’t be a great sell to old people with terrible driving skills. It also has trim reliability of 53.5 which is 0.5 short.

These are what I find to be obvious fault. Now it’s time to go a little bit more into the stats of each entries. Now, for ease of judging as affordability (or more correctly, value for money) is a high importance criteria. So, I’ll separate entries into 3 categories.

  1. Entries which cost lower than $35,000
  2. Entries which cost between $35,000-$45,000
  3. Entries above $45,000

All these cars here are good enough in that Joan will gladly take any of them home and not complain. But since this is a competition there can only be one winner.

So, let’s go through the categories in exactly that order.

@Mad_Cat Washington Ivy IV LPB 3100

This is the cheapest car in the competition at $23,100. The comfort is sub-par and the drivability is average. But one simply cannot look over how cheap it is compared to any other car. This is a contender because it’s extreme good value for money.

@mrtoad Malta Motive LX

The styling is not it’s strong suit, the comfort is sub-par and acceleration is glacial. Only thing to redeem it is the $28,600 price tag which is definitely great value for what you get but not within its peer.

@keikyun Donovan Nimbus 3.9 V6

This car is kind of screwed. Overall, it is not a bad car with its combination of affordable price, good comfort and high drivability. The only issue is, other cars does it better. The twin bench seats couldn’t have saved it from languishing. Which is a bit of a shame.

@Centurion_23 Straker Tramon

An intriguing concept (which I’ve done before on some previous CSR hehe). Sadly, the sheer wow factor isn’t backed up by stats. It’s not comfortable, not drivable (due to lack of driving assists from carburetion) and not very safe due to old body style. While it is cheap at $31,500 the grandma isn’t that keen on reliving her old glories.

@corsicaunknown @Dorifto_Dorito Sisten Astem Classic

This car has good comfort and good drivability along with excellent safety for very low price of $31,800 It’s going through as it’s a great looking car with good stats for affordable price.

@Yangx2 Honghu Beifeng 3.5 S

Incredible car. $33,600 price point undercuts many competitors while still having nearly 60 comfort. Performance is decent and it has great drivability. Definitely one of the contenders. Good looking to boot.

Next, the most numerous categories. 35k to 45k. Why exactly doesn’t the category make it so we have similar amount of entries in each? The explanation is that 35k to 45k is ideally what Joan would like to spend.

@Falling_Comet Suisei AMC Taishi LXW

It’s a dumpy looking thing that’s for sure. It has merely average comfort rating (offset by having 7 seats). Great drivability and safety though. This ends up going through because it’s still very much affordable at $37,500.

@mart1n2005 Knightwick Solace Drophead

This is a convertible retro car. Not a bad price especially for its comfort. The trouble is it has a low drivability stat due to lacking ESC and low speed handling graph. While ESC wouldn’t be a common thing in 1999 and it wouldn’t be necessary most of the time. When the mass majority of the market has it then its omission is quite obvious.

@z2bbgr Emroy Regina

Emroy Regina is like a more expensive, faster, marginally more comfortable and less drivable Suisei. It also has less seats which makes it a hard choice to go through considering even the non-relevant stats it’s not that much better. Merely average.

@ST1Letho Kurokama SC-AE 2.8

This car cost about the same as the Emroy Regina while having a slightly better stat in every important aspect except for one big one, comfort. If it’s not obvious already, comfort is the absolute most important stat to this challenge as it is the most obvious one to the buyer. It’s simply isn’t good enough to go through just like the Emroy.

@EddyBT BT Motors Rubecula XHT

The first entry I’ve received. It is literally just a faster and slightly worse Emroy Regina. Again, this thing cost about the same as the Kurokama and Emroy. It’s by no mean a bad car, just that when compared to other entries you get better value for money.

@patridam Silverhare Conestoga FE

About the same price as the other few cars from before it and after. This thing has similar stats to the Sisten Astem for about $8,000 more. You do get 8 seats which is great. But hardly the most importance aspect to this challenge. It’s a shame as it’s a great looking car. It’s going through though because having 8 seats is useful and the looks is so good.

@MONARCH Mystery S230 SE

For the price this car is like a Volvo. It has great safety rating which without marketing will ultimately means nothing to the customer. The rest of the stats are merely sub-par and it is very slow.

@BMaggiori Vixeus LTX

A decent looking compact car. For the price of $40,800, however. The comfort and drivability aren’t enough. This is the point where price just doesn’t go into the right part of the car at all.

@HybridTronny Denver Model VI

This review could be just a copy pasted of the Vixeus. About the same price, marginally better than that in every way. The value of money just isn’t there compared to its competitors.

@PengiWanKenobi Ransome Grand Viscount

This car is comfortable. The trouble is, it’s very high priced and it has issue with drivability due to not having driving assists and possessing a very sporty oversteering handling graph. I guess it is safe when you crash it but not quite ideal for a grandmother.

@CMT CMT Sentinel Final Edition

This one cost even more than the Denver Model VI and yet has slightly worse stat in every single relevant part. Except the safety rating which still is only slightly above average.

@Ludvig Yonder Country Road L6+2 AWD 5.4

This car review could read like the Silverhare Conestoga FE. Except it has a higher comfort stat which is useful. But only one of the two (between the Silverhare) can go through and for 42,600 it really is on the expensive side.

@racer126 Geschenk Schwer GX

At $42,800 you’d expect to get a car that’s better and not worse. The Geschenk Schwer has about the same stat as the Sisten Astem for about $10,000 more. A clear indication of money not going into the relevant places.

@On3CherryShake Farox Talbot 4.7

This car only redeeming feature is the twin bench seating position. Which isn’t good enough to offset the sub-par comfort, average drivability and safety, and sky-high price. Sorry.

@ProfessorP3PP3R Silver-York Sovereign Brougham Mk.IIIV

This car main issue is that in the stat that is relevant it’s not that much better than the old Silver-York Sovereign from 1984. Overall it is an improvement, but in this competitive fields. It’s not as attractive as the old Sovereign. Comfortable, drivable, safe, but expensive.

@mat1476 @mcp928 Warren Portland Mk.3 PMC

For it’s $43,200 price tag this car is comfortable and very drivable. But the safety is lackluster for the price point it is at, which is not a big problem. It’s going through.

@kobacrashi Reduit GSR99

At $44,000 you’d expect it to have comfort level well in excess of 60. This only has 49.6. Everything considered it’s not that bad of a car, simply that the other are so good it wouldn’t be able to fight them even if it goes through.

@Ryan93 @MGR_99 Tokushu XS380

It takes an extra $10,000 to have a car that is finally objectively more comfortable than the Honghu, which is a great indication of how good Honghu is. This has relatively lightning acceleration but that’s only for bragging. If high price, high comfort is to be chosen it still wouldn’t be this one as the Warren Portland can do it better.

@VicVictory Ardent Manhattan (Jack Chancellor Edition)

This car is a tank, or a bank vault. It cost about the same as the Tokushu while having superior stat in comfort, drivability and safety. The acceleration isn’t as good, but that’s hardly the most important thing. Is it worth it? Well. Not quite due to the Warren Portland matching it for less money while having better styling.

@NormanVauxhall @Rk38 Æxelia Argon 5.3

This car has the pricetag of nearly 45k. But the comfort, drivability and safety are comparable to $31,900 Sisten Astem. Yikes. It’s a great looking car but so is a lot of other cars. Yes, it is quick, but that’s not really going to make you win when the buyer rarely goes above 50.

For the rest of this point are the people who pushed the budget to the max. $45,000 or above. If you’re here, you better have something good to show. Which, sadly, not quite.

@Mikonp7 Neko LX-3 Grey EU Import

To start off this $45,000 category we have a $45,000 car which barely does better than the Honghu. Maybe it has good sportiness, but that’s not going to matter much here.

@Arvok1 Alfora Meteora

It has marginally above average comfort, not great drivability, but is built like a tank. Looks kinda like a tank too if you ask me. It’s not doing much within this crowd, sadly. Not at $47,000

@GetWrekt01 Vector V6 PowerEstate

A striking looking wagon for sure. But at $47,300 you’ll find that it’s not quite good value enough to go through, especially with merely average comfort. But it does have 7 seats which is nice, not quite enough to redeem it for the final.

@abg7 Linden LE5

I would rather have the Yonder Countryroad rather than this. You get about the same stats with more seats and a better-looking car. Pass.

@donutsnail Turbol Preveza v12-5.0t

This is the only one where spending above $45,000 nets you something worthwhile. Excellent comfort, excellent drivability. Only thing is that it has bad safety rating and weird styling. But in the same way the cheaper cars are going through this one is in via being a standout.

@cake_ape Mons Perseus Sport

Going back to the spending where you shouldn’t. This one has excellent sportiness which doesn’t matter in this challenge. Comfort is average and drivability isn’t special. Maybe one day when we have another sporty station wagon challenge this could be a good contender. As it is, not quite.

@Xepy Griel Courtain 7T Wagon

Spending the maximum amount of money nets you the marginally quickest car I’ve received. The comfort is okay, the drivability is decent, and the safety is alright. It might be great for showing off, but it’s not that appealing to people who wants value for money. It is a great overall car for people who also wants sportiness, but if you don’t, just go for the cheaper option.

Wow! That’s a lot of cars!.

And with that, I think there’s some extra deliberation needed before we get to the ranking.

If it wasn’t obvious to what car went through and what didn’t, these are the cars that will go through the deliberation section.

Washington Ivy IV LPB 3100
Sisten Astem Classic
Honghu Beifeng 3.5 S
Suisei AMC Taishi LXW
Silverhare Conestoga FE
Warren Portland Mk.3 PMC
Turbol Preveza v12-5.0t

The first to go is the Silverhare Conestoga. Here for the virtue of being an excellent representation of 1990’s suburban America. It’s simply not quite the best value although it has excellent seat count.

The next is the Turbol Preveza, amazing stats, amazing min-max. V12 Turbo in compact body. This car has the engineering of a Rolls Royce which doesn’t seem quite apt for the round.

Warren Portland went next because of poor safety and overall value for money. The Suisei then went for the low comfort but excellent drivability.

Washington Ivy went next, because I don’t think going for the cheapest car on the virtue of still being able to get close to many more expensive cars is enough. There are cars that has great value while having stats quite near the top. You probably could’ve guessed by now.

So, Sisten Astern, or the Honghu Beifeng?

The answer is, of course, the Honghu. It is by far the best value for money car here, with decent performance, amazing comfort for it’s price, great drivability and decent safety. For the stat which matters the most, there’s nothing that can match the Honghu. While the Sisten Astem is also an amazing car, it’s just wouldn’t be quite as obvious as the Honghu to our buyer.

So, the ranking.

7th Silverhare Conestoga FE by patridam
6th Turbol Preveza v12-5.0t by donutsnail
5th Warren Portland Mk.3 PMC by mat1476 and mcp928
4th Suisei AMC Taishi LXW by Falling_Comet
3rd Washington Ivy IV LPB 3100 by Mad_Cat
2nd Sisten Astem Classic by corsicaunknown and dorifo_dorito
1st Honghu Beifeng 3.5 S by yangx2

And that’s the end of CSR109! Congratulation to the winners! I hope this was an enjoyable experience as it was for me. Good luck to the next host and good luck to everybody!


The year is 2019.

“Dude, you’re one lucky son of a gun. That Honghu is so perfect.”

A young man with flatcap is talking to another young man on the phone. He seems very excited by the prospect of a 20 year old Chinese made car.

“You gotta thanks my grandma, man. She stopped driving recently. Only 15,000 miles, it’s mint!”
“Man, you gotta dropped that down to the ground and put some mad rims on it. Get it ready for the next meet.”
“Way ahead of you.”

(Sorry yang for ruining your car XD, seems the natural course though).


I would love to see meteora besides the cars built in the more compact bodies, when i see it appears like a real big one. Btw, i loved doing my entry to this CSR, and still learning to do the engineering of the car, great round! :slight_smile:


i had traction control, is that not the same function as esc? I wouldn’t have gone through anyway with my low speed handling anyway but im just wondering


Nice to be in the finals, even if it was 7th place. Sad there was no review in character but I understand the schedule limitation. I suppose it’s expensive because of its 8 leather thrones and problems with stuffing the engine inside.

ESC is not the same as TC - and it makes a huge difference in drivability especially. ESC comes out in 97’ and is specifically why I went with that year even though the last big wagons like mine were made in 96’.


Damn, another insta-bin but oh well :stuck_out_tongue:
I had a feeling that the car was a little too modern, the front giving me early and mid 2000 Ford Fusion vibes. I need to learn how to make cheaper cars without sufficing quality.


Dang… she didn’t want the wanna-be Town Car… oh well. :stuck_out_tongue:

Congrats to the finalists and winner!


Oof, I can’t say I was expecting to be binned for just not being good enough. Guess I got complacent with how often I get into the finals.

Anyway, congrats to the finalists and the winners! I also gotta say, this was a lightning fast judging process! Can’t wait for the next one.


Well, that was a nice quick end, Gratz to the winner!. I just remembered that I had something made & was going to submit it but oh well, too late now, at least I can still share it:
CSR109 - Lord Letto - La Sciabola.car (26.5 KB)


Incredible. You nailed the reviews first time and got them done along with the final results all in one go.

Anyway, each of the finalists would have been right at home at Radwood… Especially the Honghu. Nobody stood a chance against it as soon as it was revealed. Congratulations to yangx2 for winning, and many thanks to conan for an entertaining round!


Just woke up. Oh my god I won with an entry I made in an hour what the fuck?

I don’t have any dumb Chinese propaganda meme this time around so thanks Conan for hosting this challenge! Also, school starts in a week, I’ve been working all summer, I fly out today, mans just wants to relaaaaaaax.

I’ll pass it down to the runner up and if they host, I’m sure they’ll make a great round! :slight_smile:


I’m convinced that Yang is actually a group of angry car designers fired for making cars so good somebody would actually want them.

Congrats on another win, have fun at school.


Thank you conan, very cool!

Really enjoyed engineering the car for this round, and many thanks to @Dorifto_Dorito for doing the styling once I gave up!

As for hosting, I’d rather host another CSR than host another CSR and since Dorifto has passed on hosting solo, @Mad_Cat seems to be up next. A Lumina was already made this round so I can’t wait to make a Soviet box for the next round


I will gladly try my best to host the next CSR (:
I will post the next round Soon™