Home | Wiki | Live Chat | Dev Stream | YouTube | Archived Forums | Contact

[CSR70]: A Car the Cops Can't Catch


Wait until he finds out that V10 brutality is all fired through the front wheels…

As for the UltraSport, I had to lose $10,000 from the initial build price, as the car I’d started from was, well, more insane. I had to give up my turbochargers, sadly. Still plenty of room for them, though, and the engine can take it.


I didn’t expect my gamble on agility to work, but it did, and for once I am relieved to avoid being cut in the first round.

Also, I realized that, in FR configuration, the small XF body has much better weight distribution than I anticipated. No wonder it handled so well…

More specifically, it’s a RWD wagon with a small but powerful engine up front. With so little weight over the front wheels, its weight distribution is actually almost exactly 50/50, which makes it a drifter’s delight.


Yay! I made it to second round!


Defeated by technical matters… Can’t say I didn’t see this coming, really. Such is the price of not knowing how to use turbochargers for realistic applications. Highly-strung 4-cylinders can only take you so far…

Well, I’m keeping the Pressa’s design. Because I feel that might be successful with a different set of skills, although I don’t know what Mr. S’ stance on that was. He really is a man of few words but plenty of action, isn’t he?


Out of character for a moment, I just felt your car didn’t have anything impressive stats wise. It was decently well rounded, but there was nothing outstanding there. Some focus towards something would’ve helped it.

Also yes, 100% S is a man of few words and definitely not me being a terrible reviewer/writer


Yes, I wasn’t able to focus the right category for it. Just managing over 90% in one was a miracle with the lackluster engine… It’s the design that I would’ve liked seeing more feedback on, since I knew I would be taking a hit on the stats.

But that doesn’t mean the feedback the Pressa got was bad, mind you, I’m very thankful for it.
And hey, if being a bad writer means you can make a great stoic action man impression, I’d love to write that badly… :wink:


Hilariously, a bunch of us were planning to build vans on Discord as a sort of joke; also, it only recently occurred to me that using a newly redesigned car (the Router’s a lore car of mine that gets redesigned in 2005 and a version of it is competing in the GTCC as well) wouldn’t have been that stealthy as not many of them would have been released in time for… grocery shopping. We’ll say that :wink:


My van was not enough of a tank for round 2


The finals!
This was really tough. I mean I’ve spent ages looking over these and even now, I’m still not 100% sure I’ve picked the right winner.

One day later

It had been a busy day. After joyriding taking a test drive in each car by finding them and breaking in acquiring them through questionable means, he had to decide which car to take.

First of all, time to remove the cars that seemed better on paper than they actually were.

Tishillyman Sasa TG - Conan
“Seemed too good to be true at first. Great handling at low speed, just like the ads had said. MPG claimed was possible, and it got to some decent speeds. Just a shame that at high speeds, it’s undrivable, there’s all the terminal oversteer. So that’s a no.”

LLA M50X - LinkLuke
“Funny how caught up in the off-roading capabilities I got. Nothing even came close, to it on that level. But to go off-road, it’s got to get off the roads. And while it certainly isn’t weak or light, a little more strength wouldn’t go amiss. And pushing 10 second 0-62 is pretty bad, even for a focused off-roader. As much as I want to like it, it’s a one trick pony.”

TSR Kazuma Turbo S - Aaron.W
“It’s great, but compared to the others it doesn’t hit the mark. I can’t really fault it at what it does. A little weak maybe, and rather limited to the roads, but otherwise really good. Shame to see it go.”

Americar Executive 1500 - nerd
“Big, brash, absolutely insane. The handling was impossible, but on a straight enough road even police helicopters would struggle to follow it. If it was a little more direct and precise, it would be amazing, but unfortunately not.”

Viktria Pistos [B]iesel - Chipskate
“Mental machine. Best 0-62 of everything here, good handling, but it’s not exactly a popular car. That combined with it being weak and little to no off-roading capabilities means I’m limited in options during a struggle.”

The Top 5

5th: Sinistra Savage UltraSport - Madrias

“It’s brutal quick in a straight line, and doesn’t handle that bad considering the power and weight the front wheels have to deal with. Still, it needs something other than the raw power and speed it has. While it’s a bit of a tank, I wouldn’t want to ram things all day in it either.”

4th: DiMarino Cuneo Turbo - abg7

“Decent speed, incredible handling, not all that popular though. Finding one was a little harder than most other cars here, which makes hiding it from the cops is a little tricky. Other than the handling, the off-road ability was impressive. A very good car, but it’s got to go.”

3rd: HRM Lay-Z-Boi Concept - HardRooster

“A big strong tank with some impressive speed. Yet it has a surprisingly small cargo capacity despite its size, which is why it has to go.”

2nd: Evgenis Valkyrie 2.0T XLine - Cheeseman

“Some okay speed on the road, with a nice fuel economy that’ll let me run for hours. Loads about for me to blend in with, it’s the perfect stealth car. And can even be taken off-road if needed. Lower cargo room than most and load capacity is also a slight downside.”

1st: Excelsior Pulmino Veloce - strop

“It’s fast, common, sips fuel, and handles well. Combine that with a huge cargo area and it’s perfect for what I need. Still, it’s awful off-road, and could be a little stronger.”

So, this is over! Honestly, I feel like I got a bit nitpicky at the final 5 because of how close it was despite how different the cars are. And yeah, any one of these car could really have had a chance to win, and maybe if I had more time I would’ve came up with a different result. Anyway, congrats to @strop for winning! This was fun, and interesting to see how many different ways people took this problem. Also, sorry for taking so long to judge!


You should refrain from tagging other users in your posts - it might give away the results of the current round.

I’m surprised I managed to make the top 5, even considering my car’s many merits - it’s not the fastest or the most practical, but it kept the driver entertained during the test drive and was better at off-roading than I thought it would be. So I can take some pride in that.

Anyway, congratulations to strop for winning yet another round with sheer raw power!


I’ll gladly take 5th. Means I can tune a high-power FWD well enough, and that it’s not a bad car overall.

Congratulations to Strop, and thank you for hosting this round. It was fun to build for, and the short reviews were a nice change of pace.


Ah, practicing his craft even during free time, now that’s what I call a dedicated thi… er, I mean law-abiding citizen.

And to be fair, I was expecting one of the crazy ideas (i.e. the 15-litre V12 sedan) to take the cake out of nowhere and win the whole thing. But it seems their clever insanity came with sacrifices that didn’t pay off in the end…

Well, congrats go to B&E for hosting this and doing a great job for a first-time judge, and congrats to strop for creating the soccer mom hauler from Hell (one day the Quarterback will want a word with you, Mrs. Pulmino).
A car that won even after being detuned for cough safety’s cough sake. Now that’s a fearsome thought right there…


It was fun to host this, and some of the entries that seemed insane certainly did do well. Honourable mention to nerd for managing to make the exact opposite of what I want from a car, (massive engine, pushrod head, solid axle rear, heavy, understeery) and making it work to the point where I actually considered it for top 5 for a while, and both Chipskate and Dinkley for making my favourite ads out of the lot. With a bit of luck, maybe I’ll host another soon!


Well I am very surprised to see the Valkyrie getting second place, in a good way, but I will certainly take it. I’m glad “S.” enjoyed the car, if not his favourite.

Now we shall await to see if the winner wants to host, because if not… :wink:


Cheers! It was good fun to make the ad and to compete in the challenge :slight_smile:

This was my first attempt at CSR so I shouldn’t be too surprised! I can’t wait to see what the next category will be so I can get to work in that.

Cheers for the entertaining writeup and for hosting


Wow! What a good judging time. My car didn’t make it but hey, it made it to the 2nd round until it was not in the top 5. Even S says he’s sad to see it go… at least I tried hard in the making of the car. Congratulations @strop! That minivan looks good. BTW, can we see S in action?


Don’t tag people that have won, it’s in the CSR general rules. Pls!


Third place in my first ever entry into any competition evah? I’ll gladly take that. Thanks @BoostandEthanol for running this show, it was fun to make a getaway minivan and compete against all the salty veterans of the Automation world. Congrats to the winner, whom I shall not tag. :stuck_out_tongue:


I’ll take it! Matteo Miglia continue to embrace their growing reputation as the hard-boiled criminal’s carmaker of choice :joy: Thanks for a smooth running round.

Shit, I forgot to mention earlier that my ability to host is actually pretty bad as the next 7 days is actually the busiest of my working cycle :sweat: sorry. If anyone else is willing to host along the order then I would be grateful, else if none of the others do by tomorrow then I’ll cop my own rules on the chin and do it.


I am available to host and have a rule set ready, just in case.

Edit: I actually have several ideas up for consideration, but whatever they are, I won’t have to use them for at least another round if another user (other than strop, who is not ready) takes the reins for CSR71.