One Last Hurrah [FINAL RESULTS]

[yurimacs]

Team X/2000 (Planning stage and Summary)

The duo have already been registered for the run and are now doing planning. All so good so far, except when they received the message that it would start somewhere in Canada and it well likely be snowy.

Karmann: . . . . . . . . . . What a load of RUBBISH . . . .
Iman: Why not put winter tyres?
Karmann: It’s not so simple son, with the suspension set-up in our car and 292 horses on the rear, the tyres effect will be little to none unless we drive carefully.
Iman:. . . . . . . Ok.
Karmann: putting the problem aside, its time for planning!

---

Strategy Phase:

Food will be ready-to-eat pack and 3L of tea in a Thermos. The volume will be enough to last the journey

Spare parts and accessories will be just be toolbox, winter chains and spare tyres. If we are lucky enough, we might see a parts shop at the right time

Entertainment will be a box of cassette tapes for Karmmen and an Mp3 for Iman. 3 pieces of powerbanks for Iman’s Mp3 will be suffice for Iman, unless he spends the whole day on the damn thing.

Departure to Canada will be by Tomorrow, hoping that all goes smoothly.

---

Karmenn: So with the planning done, meeting dismissed.

Karmenn and Iman leaves casually

[abg7]

Team Thunder Taxi

A group of four enthusiasts (two each from the United States and Canada) wanting to accomplish what Team Big Blue (which they are close friends of) couldn’t last time: reach the finish.

The Car

A 2000 Rigel Motors RG4 5.7 that spent the first 10 years of its life as a premium taxi in Toronto, Ontario, after which it was sold to a private buyer in Los Angeles, California. The new owner used it as his daily driver, putting lots of miles on it in the process, and by the time Team Thunder Taxi acquired it, the odometer had read well over 200,000 miles. Despite the high mileage, this car has no faults - at least, none that the crew are aware of. Speaking of which…

The Crew

Jack Burns: A 27-year-old online motoring journalist from San Diego, CA. A close friend of Team BAGS and Team Big Blue, he will be the lead driver on this tour, and named the team Thunder Taxi after listening to the car as it rolled into the garage, which made him remark: “It’s a taxi… and it sounds like thunder.”

Chris Townsend: 23-year old rallyist from Toronto, Ontario who hopes his performance on this tour will get the pro-level teams noticed. Another close friend of Team Big Blue, he will serve as the team’s navigator - a fitting role given that he has been a co-driver for several seasons.

Bob Hunt: Age 28, this mechanic from Fort Worth, TX was recently headhunted for his extensive knowledge of many brands’ cars, including the Rigel Motors RG4 he will soon be riding in. He originally wanted to join Team Big Blue only to miss out due to a lack of vacancies in that team. This, then, is the chance he has been waiting for.

Vince Paulsen: Hailing from Vancouver, British Columbia, he recently turned 21 and has been following Chris’ exploits over the past few years. He has joined the team with the hopes of enjoying what should be the adventure of a lifetime.

Armed with their skills and a car that used to be an upmarket urban taxi, the team gritted their teeth and made their way to Quebec City…

[Awildgermanappears]

Somewhere on the side of the road, 56 miles to the starting line.

“You found it yet?”

[In thick russian accent] “Maybe”

“Go on…”

[In thick russian accent] “A Bolt has sheared”

“What kind of Bolt.”

[In thick russian accent] “Rod bearing”

“So much for a recently rebuilt engine”

[In thick russian accent] “He didn’t say it was done properly”

“He was technically not wrong, and now?”

[In thick russian accent] “Just pull the rod altogether and weld the Piston in place so we don’t lose too much oil”

“At the current rate we’ll run out of cylinders to lose two thirds into the event.”

[In thick russian accent] “Exactly”

And thus the struggle recommences

[Radster]

Team Shitbox Brothers: pre race 2.

Original post.

(For flavor, read any line said by Ana or Alejandro in a thick Spanish accent).

Night before the start of the race. Both brothers are on the road towards the starting line. Ana is once again driving, while Alejandro plays some synths on his phone. This one is sounding at the moment.

Alejandro: “Still quite a few kilometres to go…can we switch seats sis?”

Ana: “Not a chance, I’m enjoying this too much. Anyways, looks like we’re just a couple or so kilometres away from the starting point, and the race starts tomorrow.”

The two brothers pull up at the starting line, parking their car in a place they wouldn’t be too much of an obstacle at.

Alejandro: “Pass me a sleeping bag.”

Ana: “And here we are, yet again…now we wait for the competition to show up. Did you come up with any strategy?”

Alejandro: “Well, first of all if we want to win we need to make it to the finish line. And the new route is twice as long, probably twice as harsh as we go from the cold north to the blistering hot south and the competition is probably going to be as fierce as last time. We’ve got ourselves into a nice challenge.”

Ana: “Hopefully not timing belts will be snapped this time. More than 3000 miles is no joke, hopefully the car will be able to take it…and don’t drink all of the energy drinks without telling me this time, you ass. So let’s do a quick check. Spare fuel?”

Alejandro: “Check.”

Ana: “Spare parts?”

Alejandro: “Timing belt, spark plugs and a spare alternator, appart from the tools. Check.”

Ana: “Food?”

Alejandro: “Food for a couple of days, depends on how we ration it. A six pack of energy drinks too. Check.”

And the two brothers kept checking their inventory, making sure everything was ready for the upcoming race.

To be continued.

[Zabhawkin]

Team Redneck preliminary part 2

Upon finding out the location of the starting point the two toss in their winter hunting gear then head to the Sheriffs office in the truck to get Jake’s drivers license.

Otis, "It looks like its going to be closer to 3 weeks before we get back, It starts in Ontario, and we think we may be headed all the way to Louisiana, but were not sure where the finish line is yet.

Sheriff, “Well I guess he will go all summer without his license”

Jake, “Aw common, you know old lady Henderson is exaggerating about how fast I was going.”

Sheriff, “True, but the other witnesses weren’t, and we all know that wasn’t an isolated incident” the Sheriff mumbles “Definitely your fathers son”

Otis, “What?”

Sheriff, “Nut didn’t fall far from the tree”

Jake, “Sounds like you might have some stories to tell me, that maybe I could use to not be in so much trouble at home”

Sheriff, “Oh I have stories, but you ain’t gonna get them from me, your enough of a handful without having the well you did X as an excuse”

Otis, “If my memory serves you were involved in your fair share of those too”

Sheriff, “You better get out of here before I change my mind, and no telling him those stories either or there will be hell to pay for both of us.”

Four long days later the pair arrive in Quebec and immediately head to the parts store for a packet of 20 amp fuses and every relay they can get their hands on that will fit the HVAC.

Jake, “Maybe we should have fixed that since the last race”

Otis, “Didn’t think it was that big of a problem, besides it only blew one relay last time, thought it was an isolated incident, and its not like we depend on this old thing that much anymore”

Jake, “Its gonna suck if it goes out completely during a snow storm, or when we are in the humid hot south.”

Otis, “Yup”

They check into a hotel then start trying to diagnose the problem, made worse by the fact that everything is currently working just fine.

[Awildgermanappears]

At a gas station very close to the starting point

“Look what I found, some guy nearby is selling an '85 Blazer with the 325 within the budget, c’mon Yurij we can still have a fighting chance of completing this competition”

[In thick russian accent] “Oh the 325 I-Head? Those had more peak torque than the V8 and at like 1500rpm, they’re brilliant!”

“See! You know it too the Jager is the worst car currently running in the western hemisphere!”

[In thick russian accent] “But its still running so I won’t change my mind. But remind me to pick the Blazer up after we win this”

Headbutting intensifies

[In thick russian accent] “Пизда”

A friendly fist to the face knocks Frank unconsious, shortly afterwards the buttersmooth 5 cylinder straight six roars into life, quickly falls into a stable idle at 350rpm and swiftly diesels away

[VicVictory]

@Awildgermanappears

the buttersmooth 5 cylinder straight six roars into life

Note to self: do not buy butter in that part of the world.

[Nicholander]

Just Another Racing Team

–

–

Just Another Car Blog
Feb. 11 2018 by Scott Harris

By now most of you have who have seen my Twitter have noticed the rather unusual car that I have bought, especially considering my tastes. Well, as some of you have guessed correctly…
I’m entering the One Last Hurrah Tour.
And of course I need a car!

Presenting the 1997 Takemi Endura Sedan!
…
…
Yeah…
Not exactly glamorous is it. As you all know, the One Last Hurrah Tour, like many, requires your team to get, try and fix up and hopefully drive a ~$500 car for a more than 2000 mile road trip in the least time possible. I managed to get this Endura for $450, sitting in the back of a local used car dealership.

The Takemi Endura was (and still is) the Japanese Takemi Motors main family car model. Today the current 7th generation model is something of a cross between a luxury and family sedan, but the Endura originally started out in the US of A as one of the hot new cheap, economical sub-compacts taking advantage of the 1973 Oil Crisis. Over time however, it devolved into one of the lower-end, budget cars in the USDM, as Takemi started to focus more and more into designing high performance cars for it’s home JDM market.

The ‘peak’ of this trend was the 5th generation, released in 1997. Today, it is just another throwaway 90’s budget sedan, among the Kia Spectra and 1st gen Ford Focus. The base model made 103 HP, had 5 seats, weighed 2500 pounds and made 20-something miles per gallon. It was designed to be cheap and affordable, nothing else.

The specific trim I get here was the ‘Sport-Base Manual’, according the the owner’s manual found stuffed in the glove box. From what I can tell online, all this was was just the regular model but with VVT, slightly higher compression, and a slightly different front bumper and a little lip on the trunk. Trades in 3 less MPG for 10 more horsepower. Nothing really more than just a gimmick to get people to spend just a little more on their shiny new shitbox. And of course thankfully the model I got here is a good 'ol 5-speed Manual, not a hellish slushbox.

The Endura I now have sitting in my garage (unfortunately) doesn’t seem to be in too bad of a shape, despite the 200k+ miles on it. When I got it it was long overdue for some fluid changes, but after that and tightening a few nuts and bolts I’m feeling pretty confident about it.

Anyway, for the actual Tour I’ll also be taking along my friend Matt. You may have seen him a few times on my Twitter a while back.

But anyways, see y’all next time on Just Another Car Blog.

[VicVictory]

A little over 36 hours left for submissions!

[yurimacs]

Team X/2000 : Departure to Canada

Somewhere in New York

Iman sleeping soundly

Karmenn opens door abruptly

Iman wakes up

Karmenn: TIME TO GO!

Iman: geez. . . . cant you atleast knock the door first?

Karmenn: NO TIME! PACK YOUR THINGS UP AND LETS GO

Iman: Ok. . . . . .
After an hour of packing things

Iman: So we going to Canada now?

Karmenn: Yes we are, and we will find accomodation for the night.

---

Edit:

After 5 hours of journey time

passes by Welcome to Canada Sign

Iman: Finally! we are in Canada! Time to sleep atlast. . . . . .
Karmenn: Ok lets us just park near a motel and sleep in the night

And so they slept in for the night, looking for bright day ahead tomorrow, searching for answers and questions. Will they be able to finish the great odyssey in front of them? Stay Tuned

(Note: I made this in the tightest of schedules, story maybe better in the weekend or in my free time. Sorry for the sloppy writing)

[Jaimz]

Canadian Touchdown

Gran: David, it’s awfully cold here and I only have 1 good coat!

Spanners: I know Mrs E. There’s an outdoor survival shop that I’m going to use to stock up on good clothes and blankets!

Gran: And WHAT, may I ask, are THESE?

Spanners: Those are freeze-fried food packages. Just add water and you have a nutritionally healthy meal. It doesn’t taste very good but it’s not awful!

Gran: I don’t know about eating THAT!! I’m sure there will be places to eat along the way.

Spanners: I packed them for emergencies. Add water and voila a meal.

Gran: I suppose we shoud go shopping then.

Mopey: I’ll stay in the car.

Gran: I don’t think so young man. If there’s carrying to be done then I’m NOT doing it!!!

Mopey sighs heavily
.
.
.
.
.
2 hours later………

Mopey: Did you really have to argue with the manager about the cost of things? It was sooooo embarrassing!

Gran: I got a discount didn’t I?

Mopey: Yeah, but it was embarrassing. And it’s heavy.

Spanners: Didn’t occur to me about snowchains.

Gran: Well the manager recommended them and seeing as George and I are driving too I thought it was prudent! You mentioned that we had a dashcam to the manager when he offered one, what’s that?

Spanners: It’s a camera attached to the rear view mirror and another in the back window. It records as we drive along. I thought it was “prudent” after our last journey. It’s on a constant 6 hour loop.

Gran: That’s reassuring. Is that everything done?

Spanners: Not quite……I didn’t realise that it would be THIS cold here. I need to add a LOT more anti-freeze to the coolant, get more screen wash and buy a portable car heater.

Mopey: If only someone had mentioned the temperature from their weather app.

Spanners: I’ll show you where you can stick that weather app….along with the phone!

Gran: Now now boys, no arguing! This coat doesn’t look very nice David.

Spanners: Is it warm?

Gran: Yes, but…

Spanners: No buts, you can wear your smart coat for photos but this coat will keep you a lot warmer which is more important.

Gran: OK then. George and I will go to the hotel while you do whatever you need to the car.

Spanners heads off looking for a garage willing to lend him a ramp for an hour or 2.

[Mythrin]

Team Kent Croissants - Before the Race 1

Original Post

---

4:47 PM, England, Kent, Jordan’s Mum’s Garage

A few days before the beginning of the race all three friends are packing, examining and making tea. Aaron is leaning over in the engine bay tightening and pushing things in securely.

Aaron’s Samsung pings and buzzes on the roof of the Ciervo the email tells that the race is starting near Quebec in Canada and that it ends in the Deep South.

“It’s from the competition organizers we start in Quebec and end deep into the south ‘in between, great waterways of the two nations’ I expect we’ll know when we get there” announced Aaron.

“Canada! That’s about 3000 miles away from the end” said Jordan who had finished wiping away the years of dust and spider crap from the paintwork.

Damien walks through that door baring 3 cups of tea on a tray. “Better pack the blankets and thermos flasks then” he said after taking a sip from his tea. “Better pack some extra warm clothing and a blanket aswell just in case”

“I might be hot aswell when we get to the end, if we get to the end again it’s going to be even more challenging this time” added Aaron worryingly also taking a sip from his tea.“I’ll write a reminder to get some extra snacks we’re gonna need more than last time”

Aaron closed the bonnet of the car and stuck a post-it note on the windscreen titled ‘SNACKS’

_

The three were sat in garden chairs enjoying a Chinese takeaway: beef chow mein, chicken in orange sauce, singapore noodles with two sides of egg fried rice.

“Do you reckon any of the other teams will be there again?” asked Damien.

“I reckon so some teams have done every rally since the first one, I think that big red American sedan has completed all the rounds it’s been on” replied Jordan swallowing half a mouthful of chicken. “There’ll probably be some just as terrible and crazy cars this time”

“Yeah remember that green car with the truck engine, I wonder what happened to them. Regardless this big girl has got it cut out for her this ones far longer than last time, with harder weather and she’s older than the Friala, she’s an 86 rather than 93.” responded Damien.

“We made it last time, barely but we still did” Aaron chirped in closing the boot lid after putting one of the cases of Corona in.

Throughout the evening the team ate their way through the entire takeaway, drank most of a case of a 12 pack of Corona and had discussed at length the distance needed to travel in the upcoming race.

[abg7]

Team Thunder Taxi - Prologue

Quebec City, Quebec

In a nondescript garage somewhere in Quebec City, Jack and Bob sat patiently near the door, waiting for their car to arrive.

Jack: I’ve been waiting for our fellow crew members for a while. They should be here any minute now…

Bob: I think they’re here. I can hear something approaching us…

The garage door swung open, and a few seconds later a bright yellow sedan drove into the loading bay. Jack and Bob could now see their teammates, both of whom promptly introduced themselves as they exited the vehicle.

Chris: Nice to meet you. I’m Chris Townsend, navigator to an amateur rally driver. Who he is, or what he drives, doesn’t matter. What matters is that things will be heading south from here… literally.

Vince: All right, we’ll soon be taking this ex-taxi Rigel Motors RG4 on a road trip spanning a few thousand miles. It’s been running perfectly as far as we know, but anything can happen on the long drive ahead.

Bob: You’re ready to uphold the honor of Big Blue and BAGS?

Jack: Sure. I’ll be driving, and Chris, you’ll ride shotgun as our navigator. Bob, meanwhile, will be our mechanic, and Vince… He’s just along for the ride, at least for now.

Chris: Now what should we call this thing we’re taking all the way across the border and beyond?

Jack: Thunder Taxi. Fitting, eh? It’s got a V8 under its hood, after all.

Bob: All in favor say “Aye”.

(All four team members say “Aye” almost immediately.)

Jack: Thunder Taxi it is, then. Now go and get some rest - we need to be in prime condition when the race starts. Bob will take care of whatever supplies we will need. Godspeed, boys, make us proud.

And so Team Thunder Taxi commenced their final preparations before the long journey south. For now, everyone was sure that they could at least cross the border in one piece.

[Puffster]

Team Scandalnavians

R: “So where starting out in Canada then? Doesn’t seem to bad?”

B: “Not at all, I’m reading up on Quebec now, and it actually reminds me of here. Thanks for the drink by the way” as he takes a sip.

click

B: “Råger, what the hell,I’m trying to relax here”

R with the widest grin: “Just documenting the beginning of the trip”

B: “Don’t you dare…”

R: “And it’s posted to our facebookpage for the trip”

B: “I’m gonna get you back for that, you know that, right?”

R: “I’m not to worried. Anyways, i got the hydraulic handbrake in place since it’s likely to be some snow on the first legs
of our journey, thinking it’ll help us having fun and do proper cornering since the car is FWD, and got the boost set up properly for the engine. Spare wheel on the back, and the essentials packed in the car”

B: “Well, that’s good at least. How is that tiny thing looking by the way?”

R: " It only weighs in at about 660 kilos, and with the turbo finally tuned at about 24,5 psi of boost we get around 130hp. There are some issues with the cooling system and it’s sweating some oil around the heads, but I hope it’s just the engine settling in. If not, we got duct tape and Akevitt for whatever happens. Since it’s so small I actually managed to arrange air freight to Quebec"

B: “24,5 multiplied by 0,069 equals… 1,7bar of boost??? Jeez, will that thing hold up?”

R: “I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?”

B: “I guess we will”

[LordLetto]

Team Letto is Returning from the Go West Deathtrap Tour:
Main Driver:Lord Letto, 28, Some Mechanical Knowledge (4 Automotive Service Tech Classes in High School, Passed all of them), Gamer & Otaku
Navigator/Co-Driver: Coconut Letto, 27, Lords Best Friend, Also a Gamer & Otaku

The Car:
1991 Letto Citta, a Small City Truck Powered by the Letto LE15DE, a 1.5L i3 that makes 77.1 hp@5800RPM & 88.8 ft-lbs of Torque@2800RPM Paired to a 3 Speed Auto & AWD

We Bought it Online, Sight Unseen for around $450 CAD (Around say $360 USD) located at the starting point in Quebec City, with around $140 US left in the Car Budget hopefully we can make whatever repairs it needs before we start so it won’t fail us like the Merde in our Last Tour.

[cpufreak101]

I decided to try to enter with, of course, a MKII Communitasia so time for a team post

Team Marx

Ah, so here we are again Vladimir Lenin and Karl Marx. This time, God has dropped them in the year 2018 with yet another flyer.

Lenin: Oh really, this S**t again?

Marx: throws middle finger to the sky

God: You know the drill. I left you money. follow the Flyer.

Those were the two main characters and a Deity hellbent on torturing them. Lenin still retains his driving skills given to him from the GAR in 1995, and Karl Marx got additional practice in automotive repair by helping out in the fledgling automotive market.

Lenin: Well Well, Shall we go for communist car again?

Marx: You know it brother.

Lenin: however, it’s 2018, and we have a very limited budget, we probably won’t be finding another Communitasia in anywhere near decent shape.

Marx: That should be fine though, after all, this is an on-road race of other junkers.

The Car

That same day, they found a Communitasia OR wagon with a for sale sign on it. After the seller fainted being faced with the Leaders of Communism, Lenin just threw the $500 at his unconsious body while Marx figured out how to get it to start without a key. A few minutes later, the car managed to start after bypassing the key cylinder. they were on their way.

Marx: hey uh, should we also get some food and parts? this thing is a pile of junk.

Lenin: Good idea.

Ah yes, the condition of it, horrible. the body was incredibly rusted, with a small rust hole forming in the passenger foot well, and the frame had been patched a few times already, but the old engine happily chugged along being capable of burning even random bottles of Alcohol that are stolen Borrowed from other teams. and it’s mechanical simplicity gave it a fair shot of crossing the finish line. stocked up on food and supplies, they head out.

[VicVictory]

Entries are now closed. I have a couple sitting in my inbox which I will process when I’m home tonight… then the mayhem shall begin!

[DoctorNarfy]

The Team Formerly Known As Science Guys.

Nicholas Justinian, age 23.

After their most recent experience getting stranded in the American Midwest after their car was stolen, both Agustus and Steve decided they would have nothing to do with their friend Nicholas’ adventures, leaving him on his own.

Joseph Nowakowski, Age 21.

An eccentric, hyper personality who believes he knows more than he actually does. Joseph was a friend of Nicholas during college, and the two have not maintained a very close relationship, finding one another slightly irritating, however, Joseph was the first person whom agreed to travel.

The Car.

A 1992 Erin Merna, “Liverpool Edition” as Nicholas has so lovingly nicknamed it. Given not only its British origins, but also as the car was clearly owned by a complete Chav, as is evidenced by the black paint, the large aftermarket wheels, the cheap body kit, and the lack of a stereo. Was it removed to save weight? or was it stolen? Both options are equally as likely. Was a rover Erin the best choice for a journey that pushes cars to the very edge of their capabilities to simply hold together? Given the amount of slop already occurring upon shifting, Absolutely not.

[BobLoblaw]

TEAM OUTRIDERS

Prologue Part II

Blake: Unfortunately my driving advice wasn’t well received. Sally flunked the test.

Marc: You surprised? What the hell were you thinking giving that advice?

Blake: Hey, I aced my driving exam with flying colors. I remember it like it was yesterday. The instructor told me to relax, then put her hand on my lap… oh. I forgot, that test was a little biased. Shit! No wonder she didn’t pass.

Luigi: You banged your driving instructor?

Blake: More like the other way around.

Marc: You dog!

Luigi: All finished here, give it a try.

(Both passenger side doors on the Enforcer are closed flawlessly)

Marc: Hot damn! I take back what I said about you constantly measuring.

Blake: How’d you get so good with body work?

Luigi: There was a bump shop at the Cresge dealership I used to work at. I picked up a few extra shifts here and there.

Marc: They certainly paid off.

Blake: So, I got a letter in the mail. We’re going to Canada.

Marc: What?

Blake: Yeah, start out there, and head somewhere in the South.

Luigi: Long trip.

Blake: 3000 miles.

Luigi: Well, I looked the old girl over, I can’t find anything wrong.

Marc: You can’t even tell it was in an accident. You tell Zach about the trip?

Blake: Yeah, he’s got the time off.

Petoskey Motors ZLC Headquarters

Hell, MI.

Dunbar: You wanted to see me?

Zach: Yeah, I noticed a few discrepancies with the fiscal records.

Dunbar: Oh?

Zach: Every transaction for the past twenty two years has this small surcharge added.

Dunbar: Twenty two years, that was around the time the transactions went digital.

Zach: Right, and it looks like this has been going on since day one. Thing is, I looked over the records and I can track where all the money goes, except the Administrative Surcharge.

Dunbar: Perhaps it’s simply the cost of running computerized transactions.

Zach: I don’t think so, that’s what the in house IT department is for.

Dunbar: Have you told anyone about this yet?

Zach: Just Tom, and Frank from IT. I was thinking we should let Ms. Ventnor know about this.

Dunbar: No need to be too hasty. I mean, I wouldn’t want to start a fuss over what could be nothing. I understand you’re going on vacation soon. You enjoy it. I’ll look this over, and if it’s still an issue, it’ll be waiting for you when you get back.

Zach: Okay.

Dunbar: You can go. And have a fun trip.

Zach: Thank you sir.

[VicVictory]

Team Moss Boss, Day 0

Hotel Cofortel, Quebec City, QC, 6pm

(Outdoor temperature at this time: 3 degrees Fahrenheit)

“Balls!” Kyle cursed, slamming the door to their room closed with his elbow as he rubbed his hands together.

“Don’t bitch at me. This was your goddamned idea,” Hank shot back. He ripped his gloves off and punched at the room’s thermostat, fumbling at it with numb fingers until the numbers started going up. “The hell. This thing’s in metric. What am I supposed to set it to?”

“As high up as it will go, dumbass. Jesus Christ it’s cold.”

Kyle’s phone chirped cheerfully as an email notification came through. It took a minute for his fingers to thaw to the point that they’d function again.

“It’s from the organizers. They finally gave us the start point.”

“Well, go on, read it!”

---

Welcome, competitors!

Here we have One Last Hurrah. We’ve attracted some… attention over the past few events, and after this will need to go dark. Hopefully only for a while. If not, feel honored that you will be the last group of elite shit-box drivers.

We will meet tomorrow morning at 10 AM Eastern time at Cap Tormente National Wildlife Reserve, just northeast of Quebec City. You will be lined up and released at the same time. Dress warm if you want to hang outside of your car beforehand. Otherwise, crank up the heat and watch your gas burn away before you even begin.

Bon Chance, nous amis!