One Last Hurrah [FINAL RESULTS]

VicVictory · 15 February 2018 05:18

Legend of Terms:

NOTE: Every team’s block information has changed significantly! There will be more info than previously, partly due to the expected spread of distance between entrants.

POI NOTE: I will NOT be pre-warning of upcoming POI points. I will ONLY auto-stop teams for two things: fuel and, when completely exhausted, rest. Anything else you want (including tourist POI, restaurants, premature fuel, rest at any point before complete exhaustion), YOU need to PM me in advance (before I run the time block that you’d complete it in). Also, please don’t map out everything from here to the end in one PM… try to keep it within a couple time blocks.

BD: Block Distance. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
OD: Overall Distance. This is the total distance that the team has covered since the event started.
AT: Ambient Temperature
FS: Fuel Status. Approximate fuel reading. May also include other fuel related concerns.
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Last Town: Last town of note that was passed (will not include tiny villages)
Next Waypoint: Should be self explanatory.
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.

Thursday, 10AM - 12PM

VicVictory:
BD: 68 mi OD: 68 mi AT: 4 F FS: 3/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization.

@Madrias
BD: 33 mi OD: 33 mi AT: 4 F FS: Full MRL: -1 FTG: +2 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization. Truck had unexpectedly poor handling at the start. Team has determined that there is a manufacturing defect in one of the front tires, causing it to harden badly in the cold and lose traction prematurely. At this time, the spare is currently on the vehicle.

@Mr.Computah
BD: 67 mi OD: 67 mi AT: 4 F FS: 3/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization.

@Jaimz
BD: 68 mi OD: 68 mi AT: 4 F FS: Full MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization. Also, please read the bit on POI at the beginning of this time block, since it will affect you the most.

@Awildgermanappears
BD: 67 mi OD: 67 mi AT: 4 F FS: 3/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization.

@BobLoblaw
BD: 65 mi OD: 65 mi AT: 4 F FS: 3/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization.

@Zabhawkin
BD: 67 mi OD: 67 mi AT: 4 F FS: Just under full MRL: +0 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization. Heater is weak; team has to periodically wipe the windshield with a cloth, and the interior is getting up to about 54 degrees even at full blast.

@HighOctaneLove
BD: 70 mi OD: 70 mi AT: 4 F FS: 3/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization.

@Fayeding_Spray
BD: 54 mi OD: 54 mi AT: 4 F FS: 3/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization. This vehicle is poorly suited to the conditions.

@DoctorNarfy
BD: 68 mi OD: 68 mi AT: 4 F FS: 3/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization.

@FindRED19
BD: 56 mi OD: 56 mi AT: 4 F FS: 3/4 MRL: +0 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization. This vehicle is poorly suited for the conditions. INCIDENT: Team slid through a curve near the exit of Cap Tourmente Nat’l Park and hit a tree (gently). Superficial front end damage sustained.

@Puffster
BD: 42 mi OD: 42 mi AT: 4 F FS: Full MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization. Extreme turbo lag is both a boon and a hindrance under the current circumstances.

@stm316
BD: 45 mi OD: 45 mi AT: 4 F FS: Full MRL: +0 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization. Car is poorly suited to the conditions.

@yurimacs
BD: 39 mi OD: 39 mi AT: 4 F FS: Full MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization. Car is poorly suited to the conditions, team has to be VERY cautious to keep it out of its power band, and has spun out several times on frost and ice patches.

@Mythrin
BD: 43 mi OD: 43 mi AT: 4 F FS: Full MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization.

@abg7
BD: 65 mi OD: 65 mi AT: 4 F FS: 3/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization.

@Nicholander
BD: 67 mi OD: 67 mi AT: 4 F FS: 3/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization.

@LordLetto
BD: 43 mi OD: 43 mi AT: 4 F FS: Full MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization.

@cpufreak101
BD: 68 mi OD: 68 mi AT: 4 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +1 FTG: +0 Last Town: Quebec City, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Museum of Civilization.

Vehicles that are traveling in packs:
68 miles - Communitasia, Erin, FM, Townsend
67 miles - Contendiente, Jager, DMA, Takemi
43 miles - Letto, Ceder

Team Moss Boss

“Sweet mother of mercy,” Hank gasped as yet another breathtaking view unfolded before them. “Now I know why you wanted to run this thing.”

“I had no idea it would be like this. I just thought it would be a fun, weird thing to do,” Kyle responded.

Hank snapped a few pictures of Quebec City and the frozen Saint Lawrence River on his cell phone. “Should have brought my actual camera. This piece of shit won’t do the view any justice.”

The road curved slightly to the right, and their view changed to that of the dingy back end of Team Entwhistle-Harcourt’s FM wagon. The grandmother-grandson duo with third wheel mechanic had been ahead of them since Cap Tourmente, with their ownTownsend truck, the Communitasia off-road wagon, and the Erin Merna rounding out a small wolf pack.

They headed in to town, seeking the first waypoint on the list. It would be the Museum of Civilization in Quebec City. After that, and eclectic mix followed. Montreal. Kingston. Sudbury. Northern Minnesota. Minneapolis. Des Moines. St Louis. Nashville. Vicksburg. And the finish line would be Bourbon Street in New Orleans.

Hank dug his phone out of his pocket and brought up the weather app, refreshing the hourly report. It had looked decent this morning, but a welcome change came with the update.

Hank picked up the handset for their CB radio. “Hey, everyone. Moss Boss here. Got a weather update for you.”

“Go for it,” came the reply from one of the Spanish brothers from the Contendiente.

“Looks like the warm front is coming in faster than expected. Looks like it’s going to warm up sooner than expected. If we’re lucky, we might even see temperatures above freezing once we get into South Ontario.”

“Looking forward to it.” Hank wasn’t quite sure, but he believed the response to have come from Team Redneck.

Hank placed the handset back on the hook.

“Almost to the first point,” Kyle remarked, glancing at his cell phone, which had been mounted to the dash and converted to a GPS navigation device.

Hank nodded. “Looking good. Keep it up.”

Madrias · 15 February 2018 06:56

V6 Vandals - Day 0 - Final Pre-Race Segment

“God damn, Luke! Ever heard of throttle control!? You’re spinning the tires more than you’re driving.” Amy said, after the fourth intersection they’d passed where Luke’s heavy right foot had lit the passenger side front tire up.

“Something’s not right. It didn’t spin that badly on the way here. Temperature’s lower than it was yesterday, though.” Luke responded. “Let’s pull off to the side, put the spare on there. If it keeps doing it, we know it’s the car, not the tires.”

A quick pit-stop later (well, as quick as Luke could manage with a rusty tire iron and cars zipping by), and the full-size spare was installed. Luke got back behind the wheel and rolled into the power, only for the truck to actually respond this time and not just burn rubber.

“Bad tire. We’ll have to stop somewhere and get a new tire on that rim before too long.” Luke said.

“The fuck causes that?!” Jake said from the back seat.

“Manufacturing problem. Much more common on cheap road tires than anything else, and knowing Trev, he probably put the cheapest eco tires he could salvage on this thing when he sold it. I knew I shoulda pushed to get that Ishu Myriad.” Cody said.

“Yeah, and then we’d be spinning all over the place because those things are the very definition of ‘ass heavy’ cars.” Amy said.

“So, we’re in last place, right?” Luke asked.

“Yeah. But to be fair, I think we’re the only ones that had to stop to solve an immediate problem.” Jake said. “And we’re good on gas, I think, for a little while more.”

“Plus, if we really have to, we can always open the throttle more, do a little speeding.” Cody added.

Morale: -1
Bad tires are not good for morale.

Fatigue: +2
Changing tires on the side of the road sucks!

Waypoints: 1
We didn’t break down on the starting line!

(Edit: As multiple teams have a CB radio, it’s only fair to give the warning that Luke’s onboard radio runs on the hot side. Luke needs to calibrate it to CB specifications, but isn’t likely to do so until after he gets told that he’s way over the power limit. The Vandals do have a standard CB in the Truckling, but Luke won’t use it.)

Jaimz · 15 February 2018 10:22

Spanners shakes Luke’s hand and wishes him well for the journey before getting out of the pickup…

Mopey: No bruises….no arrests……what happened?

Spanners: We had a chat. Numpty was done for a whole range of offenses. The new guy’s fine and we won’t be having any shenanigans from them. We ready to go?

Gran: Well that’s good news. Is everything OK with the car?

Spanners: Yeah, found a garage that let me use a ramp for free….although I did spend an hour helping with a couple of jobs. Also got some free additives to help more with cold protection. Mechanic was impressed with the HiWay until I told him about the broken cruise control…… Anyway, first stop is Museum of Civilisation.

Gran: Oh, I am getting excited about this trip.

After museum

Gran: Well that was educational.

Mopey: (glumly) If you say so gran.

Spanners: Well I wouldn’t get your hopes up about the Chalet, according to this pamphlet it’s a building with a nice view. Laughs

Team moral: 1

Fatigue: 0

Notes: Everything is moving along smoothly. Team happy to be on the road. Mopey less happy to be looking at “culture”.

yurimacs · 15 February 2018 12:30

Team X/2000

The duo expected the better of starts even when its snowing.They got the EXACT opposite.

Karmenn steering left and right to try and make it go straight at speed limit

Iman: * moves from the steering left and right * Ow! Dad, can you at least not make the steering aggressive?

Karmenn: I cant! We are behind schedule and probably left behind by the others but I think we passed by a truck which seems like a problem with their tyres.

Iman: But ours is a more immediate and severe problem! First, we got a 292 hp REAR WHEEL DRIVE monster to control. Second, we havent fitted the snow chains yet (we even spun out exiting the parking lot earlier).

Karmenn: Please BE QUIET! I am trying to control the damn car!

*car spins out,narrowly near missing a barrier *

Iman: . . . . . . . .

Karmenn: . . . . . . . . . * sighs * I will just have to short shift to see if we can actually make steady progess, it is better to make steady increase than rushing it.

Iman: If you say so. . . . .

Karmenn: Oh by the way, let me just change one of the cassettes

Status :

Morale: +0 ( Just a little argument taking place, don't mind)

Fatigue : +2 ( you know that driving what basically feels like a 80’s rally car in the snow is hard)

Karmenn’s feelings : Stressed and Focused
What Karmenn is listening to:Kraftwerk - Trans Europe Express

Iman’s feelings: Worried
What Iman is listening to: same with Karmenn

abg7 · 15 February 2018 16:28

Team Thunder Taxi, Part 1

En route to Montreal, Quebec

As the RG4 left Quebec City, Jack was feeling relaxed and soon settled into a steady pace.

“This thing is running all-season tires. I wonder if this is the right decision?”

Chris’ response was: “It is - for now. A few of our rivals’ cars are not quite as suited to these conditions as ours and are struggling to cope. One of them even hit a wall, but managed to drive on. We need to be cautious until conditions improve.”

Bob couldn’t help but agree. “You are absolutely right; it’s so early in spring that the snow hasn’t completely melted yet.”

Vince, meanwhile, was meticulously scanning a physical map with the hope of finding points of interest. “Sit tight, boys. I’ll remind you of any interesting places you may be visiting; however, it’s up to you as to whether or not you actually decide to stop there for a while.”

And so Team Thunder Taxi headed south to Montreal, braving the frigid temperatures and slippery roads as they began their quest.

findRED19 · 15 February 2018 19:08

Pit Stop US - Part 1

The team is seen leaving a hotel all bundled up. Charles seems rather cheerful, while Nathan and James are somewhat indifferent due to the weather.

Nathan, into the camera: “Well, here we are at the start of the roadtrip. It’s four degrees out and we’re in Canada. …Why did it have to start in canada?..”
James: “Well, let’s see if she starts for us.”
Nathan: “This one’s on you, Charles, if it doesn’t.”
Charles: “Oh, don’t be such a pessimist.”

The car is sitting with the hood up, air cleaner off the carb as James adjusts the manual choke. Charles turns the key… The starter turns over, faster than expected in the cold weather, and keeps turning… A cough, wheeze, more coughing and the engine finally catches in a cloud of smoke. It’s running slightly rough due to the cold.

Nathan to camera: “Whooo! It lives! Now just don’t ever turn it off and we should be alright.”
James to Nathan: “You did put fresh 50/50 mix in the radiator, right?”
Nathan: “Of course. I also threw two of the good windshield scrapers in the back along with some jugs of windshield wiper fluid.”
James: “Oh, good! Then we should be good to go once the carb warms up.”

They all get in the wagon, Charles in the driver’s seat, ready to drive to the start of their journey.

“Whooo-hooo!” cries Charles, as they do doughnuts in the snowy parking lot before they leave. James and Nathan are starting to warm up to Charles’ “fun car”.

[Section about seeing other teams’ cars tldr: The Pit Stop crew took a good look.]

The beginning of the race (near Cap Tourmente National Park?) The team made it to the start in time, and are excited to get going

Charles: “Well, here we are! And here we go!” With the excitement of the journey ahead of them, Charles gets a little too aggressive leaving Cap Tournmente. The car first starts plowing forward in a corner, then with a heavy foot Charles over corrects and sends the car spinning into a snow bank, lightly kissing a tree with the front right fender.

Nathan: “Ow! Would you please…”
“… Be more careful!” finishes James.
Charles: “Oo,” he gets out of the car, engine still running, “I don’t think I hurt it too much.” He’s still riding the excitement rush of the start, and now his adrenaline is adding to that.
The other two get out to take a gander at the damage.

James: “Well, looks like just a dent.”
Nathan: “Than we should be ok, right?” Rubs his head lightly.
James: “Hey Charles, you think you could back it up onto the road.”
Charles: “Uh, I’ll try. Sure it will!”

Miraculously, the car is not stuck and they are able to get it back onto the road without further incident.

The Pit Stop team gets to the waypoint, the Museum of Civilization, and leaves the parking lot the same way they left the hotel’s, with doughnuts.

Miles: 56 (+56)
Fuel 3/4 Tank
MR: 0 (+0)
FT: 0 (+0)

Radster · 15 February 2018 19:10

Team Shitbox Brothers - Start of the race.

Day 0: Rendezvous.

(You know the drill, any dialogue said by Ana or Alejandro, read it in a thick Spanish accent).

Ana steers the car, making sure it doesn’t slide too much on the ice, as they navigate their way through the first few kilometres of the race.

Alejandro: Nice start there!

Ana: Yeah, I can definitely see why you swapped the engine. Now this is power…and reliable power!

Ana shifts into fourth gear.

Alejandro: Doesn’t look like our pace is ba- wait, are these the Vandals and that granny’s team from last time?

Ana: Must’ve broken down or something. Already being helped. Only stop if nobody’s helping the broken down team, remember.

Alejandro: Right, that was the plan, yes. Anyway, this thing pulls, and pulls! Surprised with it. Definitely worth swapping into the car. By the way, I brought a whole new list of synths. High speed themed this time, let me play one.

Alejandro browsed through the playlist, looking for this one. Ana then took a quick glance at the rear view mirror, just an “oh no” barely escaping her lips.

Alejandro: What’s wrong? Oh crap, the Jager is on our tail.

Ana: That so? Let’s see if they can keep the pace up then.

Ana pressed the gas slightly, carefully, just to give it that extra power to get the Jager out of the line of sight. The throttle bodies roared as the Enemigo was pushed towards Montreal.

Morale: +1 (here we go!)
Fatigue: 0 (we have just started)

@Awildgermanappears it’s on you.

Awildgermanappears · 15 February 2018 20:22

@Mr.Computah

Team Two Mothertrucking Idiots

Music

“Credit where credit is due, this engine does not want to die. It actually has been more reliable after being converted into a five cylinder.”

[In thick russian accent] “SNORE”

“Already?.. OI WAKE UP!” -slaps face-

[In thick russian accent] “Blyat what time is it”

“Time to test out our amazing floppy disc satnav you lazy Gopnik”

[In thick russian accent] “Oh yeah this is going to be brilliant, just let me find the right disc”

-grabs stack of floppy discs-

[In thick russian accent] “This is going to take years, we’ll need to change discs like four times just to get to the next waypoint… but it’ll be worth it anyway, maybe some of the roads are still the same as they were 27 years ago.
…
…
FOUND IT!”

“Only took you four minutes”

[In thick russian accent] “It’ll take a lot longer to process the route”

“Word”

-a few minutes later-

[In thick russian accent] “By all things holy it still works!?! How and Why? I thought the Nav satellite burned up on reentry back in 2009?”

“I believe there still is a backup in space”

[In thick russian accent] “Cyka blyat with this we’re unstoppable, factory satnav in a '91 Jager. No matter what happens next we have won regardless.”

“If the car stays in one piece”

[In thick russian accent] “Legend has it a Jager will run like shit earlier than most cars, but once it runs like shit it’ll run like shit far longer than most cars run at all”

“I want to believe, then again we’re doing quite well atm, not that far off the leaders”

[In thick russian accent] “I spy some of our competitors in the distance, get closer so we can use drafting to conserve fuel”

"I thought this car had full time cylinder deactivation?

[In thick russian accent] “Man Jager were ahead of their time with this one”

“'Murica.
…
Hey that looks like the brown truck thing has had a puncture?”

[In thick russian accent] “Suckers. Should’ve brought a better car. At least Los Tapas Loco seem to be running well, now get drafting.”

“Seems like they’re accelerating. Must be scared of our 4000lb Yolo missile in their rear view mirror. Should I keep on tailing?”

[In thick russian accent] “Nah, the trans won’t kick down into third. Plus it’ll waste our fuel. Just let them waste theirs.”

“That seems reasonable”

Morale: +1 (working early 1990s Satnav)

Zabhawkin · 16 February 2018 02:31

Team Redneck Day 1 10-12

Otis slips on a patch of ice but catches himself from falling, Jake is enjoying the patches by getting a running start and deliberately sliding.

Otis climbs into the drivers seat as Jake climbs into the passenger side.

Otis, “Cross your fingers, and hope this beast starts”

The engine is slow to crank at first then fires up as it starts to speed up.

Jake, “Whew, never seen it do that”

Otis, “Cold oil, cold battery, the engine needs more to start it, and at the same time the battery isn’t able to put out as much”

They line up at the starting line with everyone else and give it an easy go when the green flag waves.

A few minutes down the road as Jake has to wipe the windshield down a second time “Whats taking it so long to warm up”

Otis, “Engine temp is good it should be blowing hot”

Jake removes a glove and checks the temperature comming out of the vent “Its blowing cool” he then reaches down to the heater box and feels it and its plenty warm. “So its flowing, temp is good, fan is blowing strong, it must be the mixer valve” After fumbling around trying to reach in and around where the mixing valve should be Jake looks it up on his phone to see where it is and how its operated. “Servo motor, its electric. That might have been what has been blowing the fuses and relays this whole time”

Otis, “Yeah, well wipe the windshild, make sure its on full defrost, we don’t want it to freeze up with all of the condensation on it.”

Moss Boss calls over the radio with a weather update, and its good news.

Jake, “Looking forward to it.”

The two trudged on trying to make the best of it.

VicVictory · 16 February 2018 03:33

Legend of Terms:

POI NOTE: I will NOT be pre-warning of upcoming POI points. I will ONLY auto-stop teams for two things: fuel and, when completely exhausted, rest. Anything else you want (including tourist POI, restaurants, premature fuel, rest at any point before complete exhaustion), YOU need to PM me in advance (before I run the time block that you’d complete it in). Also, please don’t map out everything from here to the end in one PM… try to keep it within a couple time blocks.

BD: Block Distance. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
OD: Overall Distance. This is the total distance that the team has covered since the event started.
AT: Ambient Temperature
FS: Fuel Status. Approximate fuel reading. May also include other fuel related concerns.
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Last Town: Last town of note that was passed (will not include tiny villages)
Next Waypoint: Should be self explanatory.
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.

Thursday, 12PM - 2PM

VicVictory:
BD: 102 mi OD: 170 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@Madrias
BD: 98 mi OD: 131 mi AT: 7 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None.

@Mr.Computah
BD: 84 mi OD: 151 mi AT: 7 F FS: 1/2 MRL: -1 FTG: +3 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Major misfire and CEL in rapid succession. Wiring splices for #3 injector had come undone. temporary repair was made quickly.

@Jaimz
BD: 99 mi OD: 167 mi AT: 7 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@Awildgermanappears
BD: 103 mi OD: 170 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None.

@BobLoblaw
BD: 102 mi OD: 167 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@Zabhawkin
BD: 101 mi OD: 168 mi AT: 7 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Heater is weak. Cabin is about 55 degrees, even at full blast.

@HighOctaneLove
BD: 105 mi OD: 175 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Longeuil, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@Fayeding_Spray
BD: 93 mi OD: 143 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Last Town: Drumondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: This vehicle is poorly suited to the conditions.

@DoctorNarfy
BD: 103 mi OD: 171 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Last Town: Drumondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@FindRED19
BD: 100 mi OD: 156 mi AT: 7 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None.

@Puffster
BD: 95 mi OD: 137 mi AT: 8 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Extreme turbo lag is both a boon and a hindrance under the current circumstances.

@stm316
BD: 94 mi OD: 139 mi AT: 4 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Car is poorly suited to the conditions.

@yurimacs
BD: 87 mi OD: 126 mi AT: 7 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Car is poorly suited to the conditions.

@Mythrin
BD: 101 mi OD: 144 mi AT: 8 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@abg7
BD: 99 mi OD: 164 mi AT: 7 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@Nicholander
BD: 103 mi OD: 170 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@LordLetto
BD: 101 mi OD: 144 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@cpufreak101
BD: 103 mi OD: 171 mi AT: 7 F FS: 1/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Notes

Vehicles that are traveling in packs:
170 miles, south of the St. Lawrence: Takemi, Jager, Townsend
144 miles, south of the St. Lawrence: Ceder, Letto

Note: regardless of side of the river, vehicles within ~5 miles of each other are within CB range.

Team Moss Boss

It was just as the Steel Moss pickup rolled over the bridge spanning the Saint Francois River that Kyle’s phone rang. His stomach churned as he recognized the number; it was the outbound exchange for his office.

He punched the speaker button on his phone. “Parsons here.”

“Parsons!” It was the gruff, smoky voice of his boss, Tom Olssen. “I hope you’re not busy right now.”

Hank arched his eyebrows. Kyle sighed. “Actually I’m driving right now, sir.”

“On the road, huh? Good. Can you swing by the office?”

“Not exactly, sir. I’m in Canada right now.”

“Canada?” Tom growled. “What the hell are you doing up there?”

“I’m on vacation sir. I’m not back until the Monday after that.”

“No, no, that’s not right. I don’t remember that.”

“Sir?” Kyle asked as the knot in his stomach tightened.

“Call me as soon as you pull over, Parsons.”

The call ended abruptly.

It was dead silent inside Townsend, save for the ambient noise of its motor at cruise, and the obnoxious rattling of the now 5-cylinder Jager ahead of them.

“What the hell was that?” Hank finally said after what seemed like an eternity.

“It can’t be good. God, I hate that prick.”

“Why are you still working for them?”

Kyle shrugged. “I’ve got bills to pay.”

“And you’ve got Satan as your boss, apparently. I knew you were unhappy, but that dickweed doesn’t deserve you.”

“Still doesn’t change that I need money to live,” Kyle replied, deflated.

“So come work for me instead,” Hank retorted.

Kyle scoffed. “Yeah right.”

“I’m dead serious. Just before I left, one of my store managers put in his notice. He’s leaving in a month. I’ve got to find a new manager as soon as I get home. It’s a bit of a change, but I know you can do it.”

“Thanks, but I’ve got it handled.”

Hank nodded slowly. “Alright.”

Kyle glanced down at the dash, then back at the road. “Can you put on some music or something?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Hank jacked his phone into the stereo and fired up Megadeth’s album Youthanasia.

Madrias · 16 February 2018 05:12

Team V6 Vandals - Day 1, 10a-12p - “Tire’d.”

“Look, up ahead, isn’t that one of the other teams?” Jake said from the back seat.

“Looks like they’re fighting traction. Lots of wheel-spin, sliding around a bit. I’d advise keeping a bit of distance in case they spin out or lose it.” Amy said.

“Punch it, Luke!” Cody yelled.

Luke responded by dropping from 6th to 3rd and kicking the gas pedal into the firewall. The 2.7 liter V6 responded with a hellish war cry, sending the little Ishu Truckling scampering down the road like a frightened puppy. He kept wide as they passed the oversteering wiggle-machine of team X/2000, not wanting to get caught up in an accident as they passed, before settling back into their proper lane. He shifted back into 6th and the engine gave a sneeze from the blow-off valves before they disappeared down the road.

“It’s a shame we’re out of CB range.” Amy said after a handful of minutes. “Gonna be a little boring if we can’t chatter with the other teams.”

“Well, we are catching up to some of the teams.” Luke said.

“Yeah, and if they were any indication,” Cody started, jabbing a thumb at the rear window, “we’re catching the ones who have problems. And they’ll steam-roll us once we get out of the snow. We’re front wheel drive, should be safe to go faster, right?”

“I can maintain control, but we’re already running within tolerance of the speed limit.” Luke responded.

“Says the one who regularly pushes tolerances.” Amy said.

“Oh, have we missed something about Luke?” Jake asked, giving a wicked grin.

“Yeah, he’s known to do a little recreational speeding from time to time.” Amy responded. “There was the 93 in a 70 on I-80, 78 in a 65 a few years before that. The ticket from the Nevada State Trooper that got one of our Mambas impounded. Remind me what the speed was on that one, Luke.”

“106.3 miles per hour. In a 70 zone. But it did get overturned because his radar gun was out of calibration, luckily enough.” Luke replied.

“Speed demon.” Cody said, laughing. “So, why not punch it here?”

“Because we’re in Canada, and I’d rather not start a rap sheet like your brother for international crimes. Suffice it to say that a few extra kilometers per hour won’t make a difference.” Luke responded.

“I see. Anything we can do to convince you to drive a little faster?” Jake asked.

“Either of you know any Canadian cops or politicians who can clear a path for us? Because I’d like to not be arrested for speeding. It’s hard enough for me to get travel clearances without adding speeding tickets on top of that.” Luke said.

Morale: -1 (NC) - Beautiful scenery, but not moving fast enough for some people’s taste.
Fatigue: +4 (+2) - No one on the CB, no speeding… No excitement.
Waypoints: 1 (NC)
Fuel Status: 2/3 remaining. 0 Refueling Stops.
Notes: Luke’s CB signal strength still uncalibrated. The CB radio in the car, however, works just fine, there’s just no one to talk to all the way back here.

HighOctaneLove · 16 February 2018 05:49

Team Mountain Pass

Team Bio
OLH Day Zero

Day One, 10AM to 2PM, Somewhere close to Longeuil, Canada

The start of the race was uneventful. Andrew was driving as quickly as the conditions allowed which resulted in the little blue Bogliq finding itself bereft of fellow competitors. We weren’t first and we weren’t last; we were on our own.

The first couple of hours went by in a blur of mind-numbingly cold, white scenery; it was beautiful and poetic initially but quickly descended into monotony. We travelled 68 miles and I slept for both of them. Andrew had the heater on and we were rugged up against the cold so, for me, sleep was inevitable.

We pulled into the carpark at the Museum of Civillisation where we took the required photograph, ate our supplied lunch (Marked ‘Day 1, Lunch’ by Kyle) then we continued driving towards Longeuil…

A: “Canada’s a pretty nice place; lots of snow, faux french people and hardly any traffic”

P: “Just you wait until we reach the cities; I bet there’s tonnes of traffic!”

A: “Don’t worry so much, things are going smoothly and I have a good feeling about this car”

P: “I sure hope so. I’d hate to be stranded and die of hypothermia…”

I looked out the window, drinking in the familiar, yet foreign landscape. The cars were the same, yet every so often I’d spot a uniquely Canadian car. The people were the same yet in this English colony they spoke French but dressed like Americans. Snow…

We arrived in Longeuil, safe and sound, then we aimed the Bogliq for one of the bridges crossing the St Lawrence river to visit Montreal and our next waypoint.

TO BE CONTINUED

Distance covered: 105 miles
Overall distance: 175 miles
Fuel State: Half a tank of petrol
Overall fuel used: Half a tank
Morale: +1 (Snow is pretty)
Fatigue: +2 (We have a long way to go and a short time to get there…)

Jaimz · 16 February 2018 08:59

Team Harcourt-Entwhistle

Mopey: Gran, do we have to visit every place of interest this time?

Gran: Well, look here George, we can look at each place as we approach it……then we can make a democratic decision.

Mopey: Dictatorial and democratic both start with D……

Gran: You’re lucky that you’re in the back young man!

Spanners: Think of it as more of a driving holiday than a race, mate. We aren’t going to stand ANY chance if it was a race. No disrespect but you drive go-karts like a demon but you drive cars like an old lady……in fact your gran drives faster than you!!

Gran: DAVID!!! We drive within our limits!

Spanners: I understand Mrs E but Georgie-boy thinks we should drive on the ragged edge to try and keep up with the front runners. The would probably result in several things……attention from the police, damage to the car and a higher chance of an accident. The car is good, for its age, but it’s 28 years old!

Mopey: I didn’t say ragged edge……but we could save some time and pick up the pace at the same time.

Gran: Our pace is fine. Just look around at the beautiful scenery.

Mopey: Gran, I’ve seen snow before!

Gran: But this is Canadian snow. It’s nicer than the snow we have at home.

Spanners: You mean it’s friendlier and less likely to get into trouble Mrs E?

Mopey laughs hysterically

Gran: Pardon? Are you mocking me David?

Spanners: Just a bit of banter Mrs E.

Mopey: (still laughing) friendlier….less like to get into trouble…….

Team Morale: 1

Fatigue: 2

Notes: Mopey is happier than previously but still wants to go faster and visit less places. Gran is a bit miffed at Spanners for making fun of her. Spanners is enjoying himself more than he thought he would.

Radster · 16 February 2018 10:25

Team Shitbox Brothers

(You know the drill with the accents).

Ana looked at the rear view mirror, still not wanting to floor it in such slippery conditions. The Jager was still there, keeping up. Suddenly, the engine misfired, followed by a snapping sound.

Ana: “Alejandro tell me THAT’S NOT THE TIMING BELT.”

Alejandro: “Stop aside, gotta take a look real quick.”

Ana stopped, letting the Jager through. She waved her hand at the red car, as if to say goodbye, sarcastically, while her brother lifted the bonnet.

Alejandro: “Kinda good news.”

Ana: “Kinda?”

Alejandro: “Yes, the wiring for the third injector went funky. Let me fix this real quick. No timing belts snapped.”

Ana sighed relieved. Even if the repairs would take a while, not being instantaneously disqualified from the race was good news. She cracked an energy drink open and took a long sip. Some time later, the two brothers were back on the road.

Alejandro: “Hopefully this won’t break again, although whenever we reach the first ‘multitudinary’ stop I’d like to take a good look at the engine.”

Ana: “Let’s hope this engine don’t wanna commit suicide.”

Alejandro opened the Youtube app on his phone, searching through his playlists. Gramps GT kept going southbound to Need For Speed by Tokyo Rose.

Morale: -1 (Fuck you too, engine).
Fatigue: +3 (Engine repaired, can we get going again already?)

cpufreak101 · 16 February 2018 15:00

Team Marx

Lenin: Well the start was rather uneventful.

Marx: indeed so, we’re just cruising along nicely.

Lenin: yeah, the other teams just seem to be going along nicely as well.

Marx: and we’re doing decently in pace, just getting a little tired.

Lenin: sleep is for the weak, i’m good.

~~--------------------------------------------------------------------~~

morale: +0

Fatigue: +3

LordLetto · 16 February 2018 15:16

Mythrin · 16 February 2018 15:38

Team Kent Croissants - Thursday 10 - 12PM

“We’re not exactly in the lead Aaron” said Damien from the rear seats stating the obvious.

“I’m not gonna push it especially on the snow you saw what happened to a few other teams earlier” replied Aaron “Plus I don’t want to cane it before I know all the niggles”

“As long as we speed up later I’m fine” added Jordan fumbling through his notes on the route.

Aaron changed down a gear and gave it a small bootful the V6 gave a muffled and sophisticated roar and a small spin of the wheels as they scrabbled for grip.

“Not bad then, pulled well” said Aaron slowing back down to the original pace.

–

“Oh bloody hell” said Jordan holding up his bright yellow jumper from the footwell that was now very damp and tinted slightly blue.

“What? Oh that’s gonna stain” replied Aaron turning his head left to look a the jumper. “God it smells like coolant must be from the heater.”

“Put it in a bag so it doesn’t stain anything else” said Damien from the back who was sprawled across the black leather seats.

“Typical it would be this jumper aswell one of the only coloured ones I have” Jordan added mournfully.

“Hopefully it will dull it down a little stop it burning my retinas out no wonder you have to have contact lenses” jested Damien.

“Don’t mock it Damien if the headlights blew we could have used it as our own portable sun and mounted it to the bonnet” said Aaron smirking.

“Yeah yeah, we could have used some of your socks if not” replied Jordan quickly.

“They’re fashionable pieces of clothing” said Aaron briefly lifting up the ankle of his jeans to reveal some of the craziest patterned and incredibly purple socks you could lay your eyes on.

“Whatever you say I think I’ll need a new prescription” laughed Jordan covering his eyes to avoid the searing purple.

Morale: +1 (1 Total)
Fatigue: +2 (2 Total)

yurimacs · 16 February 2018 22:32

Team X/2000

After a million short shifts later, they realized that they were going much faster than without the short shifts.

Karmenn: son, we have past the 100 mile mark, says here on the odometer right after i reset the trip at the start.
Iman: Well, that’s actually great. But i don’t see any other drivers out there (seeing that we got passed by that truck).
Karmenn: That’s because we were still spinning when they made steady progress.
Iman: Right. . . . . . .
Karmenn: A’ight, open up some them chips and give me some. I am so hungry from doing those short shifts
Iman: Ok dad.

Status:

Karmenn's feelings : Hungry (not so)
What Karmenn is doing: Snacking with Iman

Iman’s feelings : Bored
What Karmenn is doing: Snacking with Karmenn

Morale: + 0 (just some snacking and driving)
Fatigue : +2 (4) (self-explanatory)
Fuel: 2/3 (surprisingly, after all those spins from early on they managed to save fuel)

BobLoblaw · 17 February 2018 00:38

TEAM OUTRIDERS

Thursday 10:00

Blake: Alright, 100 people were asked: How protective is the coolant in this engine? Survey says… (Holds up a balls floating gauge) 40 below.

Luigi: F or C?

Blake: F of course. We may be in another country but I refuse to go metric!

Marc: Yeah, the commies and nazis used the metric system!

Luigi: It’s an intelligent system. Easier to use because it’s based on 10s.

Marc: Well of course a stupid **** like you couldn’t comprehend anything more complicated.

Blake: Caps back on, start the car will ya?

(Marc turns the ignition key. The starter works a little harder to turn the big block over in the cold but the 432 fires right up.)

Marc: Whoo! It’s alive!

Zach: Good, I’d hate for the car to die before we start.

Blake: Okay, let’s run over everything we’ve got, CB? Check. Camping gear? Check. Food? Check. Tool box? Check.

Marc: Stupid homo commienazi? Check!

Luigi: Cop with Downs Syndrome? Check!

Blake: Sunglasses?

Zach: (Puts on shades) Check!

Blake: Let’s rock!

(The Enforcer takes off on cue, Marc throws it into a few lazy donuts to begin)

Luigi: Careful you idiot!

Marc: I forgot, you would prefer I drive like an old bitch!

Luigi: I prefer you drive like something other than a retarded pit bull high on angel dust!

Zach: Dad, what are you doing?

Blake: Holding down the button on the CB mic.

Marc: Oh you ruthless son of a bitch!

Luigi: Our banter is private!

Blake: Bullshit! You guys are the best of friends when no one is looking!

Luigi: I go out of my way to avoid this cazzo!

Marc: Well, you’re here in the car so you clearly suck at it!

Luigi: Yeah, to keep your ass in line so you don’t get these two killed!

Marc: Sure, that’s the only thing you want to do with my ass!

Luigi: Please, If I was gay, I most certainly could do better than you!

Marc: That’s right, didn’t they call you Pin Cushion in High School from all the dicks that went through you?

Zach: This is gonna be a fun drive.

12:00

Blake: Let’s see if we can find a traffic report on the radio.

Radio: …derailed east of Ottawa, thankfully there were no injures. And in International News, Petoskey Motors ZLC owner and CEO Eleanor Ventnor was arrested this morning on charges of embezzlement…

Zach: Turn that up, turn it up!

Radio: …spite the charges, Ms. Ventnor claims no knowledge of any offshore accounts. She is currently being held without bond. And now Sports…

Zach: I can’t believe it.

Blake: Based on what I’ve heard of her, I wouldn’t think she would do something like that.

Zach: Why would she? It’s her company, so she gains the most from profits. Plus she already has substantial wealth. Something doesn’t add up.

Marc: People often do illegal things for the most bizarre reasons sometimes.

Zach: The radio mentioned offshore accounts.

Luigi: So?

Zach: So, before I came here, I was noticing a small error in the books. A tiny amount siphoned off each transaction for the last twenty years. Pennies, here and there.

Marc: Sounds like something that would add up to a considerable amount.

Zach: Exactly, and the one thing I couldn’t trace was where that money went. Hang on, I gotta make a phone call. (dials number) Hey, Frank? Glad I caught you on lunch. Listen, can you do me a favor? You know those administrative surcharges I was asking you about the other day? Yeah, those. What do you mean restricted? On who’s authority? Why would Dunbar restrict something like that? Most interesting, you think you could track that money? I don’t know, probably to an offshore account. Try the Cayman Islands. It would have to be at least twenty years old. Shit, okay. Once you get a spare moment and can find it, give me a call okay? Right, bye.

Blake: What was that all about?

Zach: Clearly those hidden transactions were part of this embezzling scheme. If Frank in IT can track it down, we could submit the accounts as evidence.

Blake: To convict her or get her off the hook?

Zach: Either. If she’s guilty, this will help convict her, if she’s not, then the accounts cannot be touched while they’re evidence. So whoever’s behind it can’t use the money.

Blake: That’s some quick thinking!

Zach: The woman gave me a job, I owe her that much.

stm316 · 17 February 2018 06:52

Team mushroom cloud
Day -5

Bill: Mail! Aunt Toni , why have you got mail here?
Toni: Who is it from?
Bill: It says… oh, it’s the race organisers.
Toni opens the letter and reads the instructions.
Toni: What are the odds? Know we know where we start from. It’s some wildlife reserve. In 5 days. That’s plenty of time.
Checks were made, things were bought, stuff was packed.

Day 0
Mushroom cloud manged to find a place a short drive from the starting location. Which is a good thing, because apparently it’s legitimately freezing outside, not something they get a lot of back in Oz.
7AM, Bill knocks on Toni’s room door.
Bill: Up and at 'em.
Wookiee taps Bill on the shoulder
Wookiee: Way ahead of you. Car’s loaded and warming up. Figured we’d let you catch a few minutes more.
Bill: Don’t sneak up on me like that!
_ A voice from the car, parked down below_
Toni: Chop chop. The sooner we get the, the more we can learn about who’s going to beat us.
Bill: Don’t we know who entered? I’s there a website, or a list or something?
Wookiee: Maybe, maybe not. I prefer the element of surprise…

Immediately prior to race start.
Toni: Okay, boys. You’ve had a good look at what’s here. What do you think our chances are?
Wookiee: I’ll open with 100:1 against. Proper 4 wheel drives, half-arsed utes, taxis and turbos.
Bill: I says 18:1. There are 18 of them and 1 of us.
Wookiee: That’s not how probability works! How the hell do you run your business?

10:00-12:00
The starter gives the cue and the competitors all set off on their journey.
As they approach (and, subsequently, pass) the Truckling on the side of the road, Bill says: “Shit! It must be cold out there. Poor bastard’s turned blue!”
Wookiee reaches from the back seat and gives him a quick smack in the head.

12:00-2:00
Toni is busily concentrating on the icy conditions as the boys start making jokes about the Canadish, eh? Like this…
Wookiee: What do Canadians get on their tests?
Bill: Dunno. What do Canadians get on their tests?Wookiee: Eh’s!