The 2018 Meatball run - Day 2 4PM-7PM

Team V6 Vandals


1:30 PM

“Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” Jake said, looking at what had been done to the Swift. “Thankfully, it’s a hatchback, I can clear the shaving-cream cock-up off of the rear window with the wiper and washer fluid.”

The team climbed into their car, where Jake took the hot-seat for the first time, and the 3.9 liter V6 strained to start. After several minutes of cranking, it finally lit up, exploding banana all over an unfortunate elderly lady who happened to be directly behind their car. Jake cleared the rear window, or at least smeared the cream around enough to not be recognizable, then rattled and clanked his way out of the parking lot.

They hit the road hard, the gravel no longer making a racket as long as they kept the speed up, though it threw the wheels slightly out of balance at high speeds. When Jake saw the Hillbilly Rollers pulling off to get food, he pointed them out, and it was Amy who rolled the window down and hurled one of the team’s piss-bottles at their car. She missed, but the intent was crystal clear.

After stopping for gas around 2:00-ish, give or take a few minutes, the Vandals raced out of the parking lot, having finally dislodged the gravel from their hub-caps.

Around 4 PM, a burning question was rattling around Jake’s mind, and after a few tense minutes of trying to keep their speeding Sinistra on the road, he finally got around to saying something.

“Hey, Luke, mind checking and finding out how far back we are?” Jake asked.

Luke quickly popped up one of his communications arrays, then started a broad search of social media and radio chatter, any information passed back to the race administrators, and GPS beacons for any cars dramatically exceeding the speed limits. After a couple minutes, he responded with, “Best guess, we’re in the leading 10. I’d say 8th car back, but I could very easily be wrong. Don’t have the best data to work with, though it sounds like Mountain Pass is out of the race.”

“How’d it happen?” Amy asked.

“Fire. Don’t know much more than that. Heard they’re okay, but the car’s a total write-off.”

“What is it with Bogliq and their cars being surprisingly flammable?” Cody said. “Then again, could be worse, they could be made of pure explodium and just go kaboom every time someone looks at one funny.”

“I’d guess whenever the country they’re in banned asbestos, all flame-proofing went right out the window.” Amy said, giving a light shrug. “That, and they do tend to find the most abused cars in general, and we know from experience what that can lead to.”

“Yes, we know, Lady Leadfoot. After all, you killed our little Ishu Truckling by rev-tapping it when we knew it had an oil leak.” Luke replied, causing Cody to laugh. Jake, however, cringed because he remembered the huge cloud of smoke inside the cab, making it hard to see and harder to breathe.

“Well, Luke, get on a radio or something and let Mountain Pass know that it was good to run with them, and we’ll see them in the next big thing.” Jake said.

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TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
DAY 2 1PM - 4PM

ANDREAS: WHAT THE (curse word) WAS THAT?
JANNE: A piss bottle. They must have really bad imagination. Couldn’t they come up with something better?
ANDREAS: Yeah, we already have Marie in the car so it’s not really like it would change the smell…
MARIE: AND WHO DID PUT A QUARTER IN YOU?

To be continued

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What? The Bogliq caught fire?

Who’d have thunk it. :wink:

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Team Mountain Pass

Previous Post

Day Two: 1PM - 4PM

We were making great time, the l’il 1.6 was humming, the Eurobeat was tinny yet oddly satisfying and Pierre was kicking Candy Crush’s ass, when disaster happened…

A: “We just passed Ludvika, another checkpoint down, we may be slow but we’re still pushing forward! Pierre, PIERRE!!! Stop playing that game and listen to me!!!”

P: clears throat Oh yes, quite right, Sweden be baller and all that… Now I have to focus; this level’s tricky"

A: shakes head “Oh Pierre, you’re incorrigible…”

Then, ominously, the stereo cuts out.

A: “What the hell…” fiddles with the stereo “The stereo’s dead!”

P: “Hmmmm… Why does this feel familiar?”

A: “Now the instrument panel has died, I’m pulling over!”

The Bogliq pulls over to the side of the road. Now that there is no slipstream the front of the car is wreathed in toxic black smoke. Our duo, realising the danger, snatch their “Go” bags from the cabin and find themselves face down at the edge of the forest on either side of the road. The Bogliq’s cabin had somehow exploded, throwing them clear but otherwise unhurt, and the whole car is now merrily burning itself down with only some twisted metal to mark where Team Mountain Pass officially finished the Meatball Rally.

A: “Well that sucks… Pierre, did you check to see if that Bogliq had all it’s recalls done?”

P: Looking sheepish “Uhhh… I forgot”

A: “Damn!” looks in his bag “At least we have enough money to buy another car, check your bag will ya? … Maybe a Zap this time?”

P: ahem “Uhhh, Andrew, I kinda moved the money since I was worried it would get snatched if someone stole our bags… Sorry, but the money is gone, literally up in smoke and my tablet’s wrecked too” sniffs

A: “Son of a bitch!” sigh “OK, we’ll just have to wait for the Swedish police and fire brigade… Hopefully I have enough room on my credit card for flights home”

P: “Hopefully…”

So the sun sets on our intrepid reporters, victims of Logi and rendered penniless, as they sit side by side, soot stained and weary, their dream shattered and their hopes dashed yet again by capricious fate…

Stats:
Distance travelled - 1631Km
Fuel used - 200 litres
Money remaining - $0
Fatigue level - 100%

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Team Green Gunners, Part 8

The past three hours of the race were surprisingly uneventful for the two men who were known as the Green Gunners. Nothing untoward had happened at all, but on the other hand, there was very little which could lift their spirits either. It was around this time that they began receiving reports of a blue Bogliq literally melting after it caught fire and subsequently exploded. Tom was the first to comment on the inferno:

“Well, that’s it for Team Mountain Pass. They definitely went out with a bang…”

“…and a whimper as well!” Bob replied. "My suspicions about self-immolating Bogliqs are most definitely true now!

“Let’s hope our car doesn’t suffer the same fate as theirs does. Cars like ours are getting scarcer over time, and ought to be preserved”, Tom concluded.

And as expected, the Green Gunners forged on towards the next waypoint.

1 Like

Team Bakewell Tart


The Ditane had racked up the miles barking through the country roads still quite a way behind the leaders but gaining slowly.

“Apparently another cars down, the blue Bogliq” said Connor.

“Aren’t they all blue, shame it wasn’t one of the leaders but we live in hope” replied Mandy.

“I despair sometimes” said Connor exasperatedly.

“You want to win don’t you” shot back Mandy planting her foot deeper into the carpets.

As the words left her mouth her phone began to buzz ontop of the ashtray it showed a call from ‘Dad :heart:’ Mandy slowed her speed and picked up the phone catching a quick glare from Connor. Mandy’s dad quickly cut to the chase.

“Wait they’re doing it again, do it do it do it” replied Mandy instantly.

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DAY 2, 4 PM - 7 PM

The following legs will be entered by some of the teams

#14, Västervik-Motala, 144 km of larger country roads, 10 km of highways. Warm and partially cloudy weather.
#15, Motala-Gnesta, 64 km of larger country roads, 124 km of highways. Warm and partially cloudy weather.

Team Off Constantly / @Obfuscious
4PM-5PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Kumla
Distance: 1780 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Grums
Team is stopping for food at Sibylla, Grums
Distance: 1849 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: None
Distance: 1957 km

Fuel: 16 litres
Money: $4936.42
Fatigue: 75%

Team Thunderstruck / @Fayeding_Spray
4PM-5PM
Notes: Team is stopping for refuelling and eating at OKQ8 Åmål
Distance: 1913 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: None
Distance: 2034 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: Team is resting somewhere between Tråvad and Ullene
Distance: 2034 km

Fuel: 30 litres
Money: $4357.13
Fatigue: >100%

Team MV Design / @Marcus_gt500
4PM-5PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Vaggeryd
Team is stopping for food at Spis, Vaggeryd
Distance: 2164 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: Car is reversed into a light pole when leaving the parking lot. Bootlid springs open and has to be straightened out enough to get it closed.
Distance: 2223 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Laholm
Distance: 2353 km

Fuel: 24 litres
Money: $9610.77
Fatigue:83%

Team Green Gunners / @abg7
4PM-5PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Vaggeryd
Team is stopping for refuelling and food at Preem Vaggeryd
Distance: 2164 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Laholm
Distance: 2324 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Smygehuk
Distance: 2480 km

Fuel: 23 litres
Money: $1585.19
Fatigue: 68%

Team New Life / @VicVictory
4PM-5PM
Notes: Team is stopping for fuel at Preem Landskrona and food at McDonalds Landskrona
Distance: 2436 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Smygehuk
Oil pressure light is flickering. Engine is knocking.
Distance: 2543 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: None
Distance: 2658 km

Fuel: 17 litres
Money: $3418.46
Fatigue: 85%

Team Letto / @LordLetto
4PM-5PM
Notes: None
Distance: 2458 km
(Note: Unfortunately I did a typo last time, distance covered should be 2369 km, not 2469, so the team is not running backwards)
5PM-6PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Smygehuk
Distance: 2575 km
6-7PM
Notes: Team is refuelling at Preem Hörby
Distance: 2658 km

Fuel: 46 litres
Money: $7689.26
Fatigue: 70%

Team Operation BIRD / @Elizipeazie
4PM-5PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Smygehuk
Team is stopping for food at restaurang Smygehamn
Distance: 2511 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: None
Distance: 2595 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: None
Distance: 2713 km

Fuel:9 litres
Money: $5085.32
Fatigue: 55%

Team Bunnysquad / @Mikonp7
4PM-5PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Smygehuk
Distance: 2547 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: None
Distance: 2672 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Ronneby
Team is stopping for refuelling and food at OKQ8 Ronneby
Distance: 2738 km

Fuel: 48 litres
Money: $1958.56
Fatigue: 52%

Team Hillbilly rollers / Knugcab
4PM-5PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Smygehuk
Team is stopping for food at restaurang Smygehamn
Distance: 2533 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: None
Distance: 2648 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Ronneby
Team is refuelling at OKQ8 Ronneby
Distance: 2744 km

Fuel: 47 litres
Money: $1321.23
Fatigue: 70%

Team Harcourt-Entwhistle / @Jaimz
4PM-5PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Smygehuk
Team is stopping for food at Nilssons Gästgiveri Hörby
Distance: 2591 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: Team is refuelling at Preem Hörby
Distance: 2626 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Ronneby
Distance: 2747 km

Fuel: 38 litres
Money: $3720.70
Fatigue: 55%

Team V6 Vandals / @Madrias
4PM-5PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Smygehuk
Team is stopping for food at Hörte brygga, Skivarp
Distance: 2556 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: None
Distance: 2680 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Ronneby
Team is refuelling at Circle K, Karlshamn
Distance: 2771 km

Fuel: 39 litres
Money: $551.58
Fatigue: 36%

Team REE / @Detsikeulii
reefail
4PM-5PM
Notes: CHECKPOINTS PASSED: Ronneby, Uppvidinge
Distance: 2839 km
5PM-6PM
Notes:Team is stopping for food at Lenhovda Pizzeria.
Shortly after leaving, team is failing to yield at an intersection, being hit in the right front fender, bending suspension parts. Race can’t be continued.
RACE OVER!
Distance covered: 2842 km

Team Sippppp / @TheElt
4PM-5PM
Notes: Team is resting in Karlshamn
Distance: 2691 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Ronneby
Team is stopping for food at Burger King, Ronneby
Distance: 2748 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Uppvidinge
Distance: 2859 km

Fuel: 41 litres
Money: $1840.92
Fatigue: 58%

Team Stm316 / @stm316
4PM-5PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED:Ronneby
Team is stopped for refuelling and food at OKQ8 Ronneby
Distance: 2655 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: None
Distance: 2799 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Uppvidinge
Distance: 2909 km

Fuel: 22 litres
Money: $2654.97
Fatigue: 85%

Team Dust Devils / @DukeOFhazards
4PM-5PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Ronneby
Team is stopping for refuelling and food at OKQ8 Ronneby
Distance: 2756 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: Fan belt is squealing, tensioned at the side of the road
Distance: 2835 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Uppvidinge
Distance: 2914 km

Fuel: 30 litres
Money: $4729.09
Fatigue: 70%

Team Shitbox / @Mr.Computah
4PM-5PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Västervik
Team is stopping for food at McDonalds Västervik
The gearbox is sounding even worse.
Distance:2995 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: Team is resting in Stadsparken, Västervik
Distance: 2995 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: The gearbox is sounding even worse
Team is followed by the police for a while
Distance: 3099 km

Fuel: 20 litres
Money: $2738.86
Fatigue: 50%

Team Bakewell Tart / @Mythrin
4PM-5PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Uppvidinge
Distance: 2952 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Västervik
Team is stopping for refuelling and eating at Shell/Seven eleven, Västervik
Distance: 3010 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED:Motala
Distance: 3149 km

Fuel: 39 litres
Money: $2407.16
Fatigue: 100%

Team Getaway Plan / @BoostandEthanol
4PM-5PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Västervik
Team is stopping for food at McDonalds Västervik
Distance: 2995 km
5PM-6PM
Notes: None
Distance: 3145 km
6PM-7PM
Notes: CHECKPOINT PASSED: Motala
Distance: 3328 km

Fuel:3 litres
Money: $1414.66
Fatigue: 100%

10 Likes

Everyone inside the car: “OOF”

The End.

(they took a train home tho, the car was delivered back to Finland and fixed there, yay)

7 Likes

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
DAY 2 4PM-7PM

MARIE: Hey, it’s at least rolling on quite undramatic now, right? How do you like my driving?
JANNE: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ANDREAS: Zzzzzzzzzzzz
MARIE: Hrmpf…I’ll teach them…

After a loud honk from the dixie horn, all three team members was suddenly awake once again.
To be continued.

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Team New Life

BRAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAaaAAP

The sound that started as a gentle rumble in Fuzz’s stomach rose up to a impressive cloud of french-fry-and-Quarter-Pounder scented vapor with deep timbre and great endurance.

Hank nodded in approval. “That was definitely a 9.5”

“Oh come on, that was better than any of yours. Should have been a 10,” Fuzz protested.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s impressive, but I’ve heard a couple better in my life.”

“OK. Next time I’ll nail it.” Fuzz reached for the cooler in the back seat and produced a can of Coke.

“Huh, that’s odd,” Kyle noted as he glanced down at the dashboard.

Hank turned his attention to his cousing. “Hmm? What?”

“Oil light came on for a moment then went off.”

“Maybe something to do with our electrical repair earlier?” Fuzz pondered.

Hank held up a finger to silence everyone. It took a minute, but he found the answer he was looking for.

“Sounds like we might have a rod knock,” he proclaimed.

“Shit,” Fuzz blurted.

“Now what?” Kyle queried.

“Next parts store we see, we load up on oil. See if they have an oil pump for one of these things too, just in case. Fuzz and I will replace it when we stop for the day.”

BRAAaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaAAaaaaaaAAAAAaaAAP

“Holy shit,” Hank exclaimed, waving his hand in front of his face.

Fuzz just grinned.


@Knugcab - they’re going to buy a new oil pump (if possible) and at least 3 cases of oil. They’re going to be hypervigilant about keeping it topped off (even if it slows them down), and when they stop for the night, Fuzz/Hank will replace the pump (even if it costs fatigue)

5 Likes

Team V6 Vandals

After a quick pit-stop for food around 4:45 PM, Jake relinquished the driver’s seat to Luke, who gladly accepted the duty of driving their Sinistra Swift as hard as he could.

This, naturally, caused chaos in the car as Luke had their poor ‘little’ V6 powered hatchback shrieking around every corner as he found the balance of grip. Amy was the only one not screaming at Luke for doing this, and even she had gone for the grab-handles a couple times.

“Must you drive like a complete fuckin’ maniac!?” Cody yelled over the roaring V6, still fighting to get his seat-belt back on, while Luke managed to weave in and out of traffic, tossing the loose contents of the interior all over the car, including Cody.

“You’re the fuck-nut who thought not to put his belt on.” Jake said, chuckling. “Luke’s making up time, even if it kills the V6 to do it.” Just then, Luke’s abrupt third-to-fourth gear-change sounded like he chose to slip the clutch in, rather than do the right thing. The car filled with the smell of scorched clutch, and Jake responded exactly as expected.

“And you made fun of me for not driving stick well. What’s your excuse for roasting the clutch on the highway, Luke?” Jake said, grinning.

“Fluid pressure. Someone pass Amy one of those bottles of 50-weight, please.” Luke said. Jake fished up one of the bottles and passed it to his mother, who opened it, and the fill port on Luke’s back. Amy topped up the tank and waited for the bubbles to rise, then filled it the rest of the way up, before putting the cap back on, and sending the empty oil bottle flying.

“Someone explain to me why the leaky robot is the most aggressive driver of the bunch?” Cody asked, having finally gotten the seat-belt buckled.

“Because, even leaking, I can handle it.” Luke replied. “I know my limits, and those of this car.”

After a few hours, they swooped in and filled the tank again, before talking strategy.

“So, it’s clear we’ve got four people. Let’s keep our rotation going, and push extra hard, make use of everyone so we quit wasting money on hotels if we’re not worn out.” Jake said.

“Drive hard and push through the night?” Amy asked.

“I’d rather not.” Luke said. “We’ve seen the reports of plenty of teams going out because of encountering animals. And unless you three have some cybernetic implants you’d like to tell me about, I’m the only one here who can use infrared to see at night. I’m also the only one with a built-in thermal camera.”

“So, drive as long as you’re able, Luke, then pull in and we’ll shack up for the night.” Cody said. “We’re just not wanting to run outta cash for this little adventure.”

“If my calculations were correct, we’ll finish with empty pockets, but we’ll make the distance.” Luke replied.

5 Likes

Team Green Gunners, Part 9

After two more uneventful hours behind the wheel, Tom and Bob were hoping desperately for any sort of good news to lift their spirits. And finally, it came.

Tom: “I’ve just heard that Team REE is out of contention, and I suspect it’s entirely their fault.”

Bob: “That’s one less rival to deal with, then.”

Tom: “We still have a long way to go, so keep it tight… Hold on, it seems that Team New Life - the team directly ahead of us - is off song for some reason. How much longer will they last?”

Bob: “We don’t know yet. We’ll gain yet another place if they DNF - if it happens at all. For now, just concentrate on your usual driving duties.”

The Green Gunners turned their attention back to the road and concentrating on making up ground. However, with one more opponent out of the race and another encountering issues, they began to feel optimistic about their chances again. All they could do now is do their best to avoid a crash or a traffic ticket, and hope that their car would not suffer a terminal breakdown en route to the finish line.

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Dani geared down, slowing as they passed some smoldering wreckage at the side of the road. Mel reached for the KBAR in the glovebox, ready for anything. She scanned the ditch, the field, and the treeline for movement. Nothing.
D: What was that? Just a random, or another competitior?
M Team Mountain Pass, I think. It looks like a burnt out Bogliq, though it’s hard to tell for sure. I don’t see any bodies, nor any movement. I hope they’re ok…
D: Those were the folks that helped us dial in the programming on our Megasquirt before the race, yeah?
M Yeah. Generous folks, I’m sad to see ‘em go. Plus, they were the team we seemed most likely to catch, given a bit of luck.
Mel quickly bit her tongue. She’d let the cat out of the bag.
D: Ya know, sweets, I’ve noticed the only racers we’ve seen have been on the side of the road…
M: We brought a knife to a gunfight, sugar. This damned borrowed car is still running bias-ply tires. From ‘57. And we underestimated our competition. Some of the stuff we’re running against is tweaked to within an inch of the ruleset. I was initially hoping for a midpack finish, with a bit of luck. You can’t count on on luck in a race, Dad taught us that. We’re still on the road, though, and anything can happen.
D: I still say this is the best honeymoon anyone ever had. We’ve lost before, we’ll lose again. But heck, I’ve never even been out of the States before this, excluding Canada and Mexico. Europe has so much culture!
M: Speaking of which, I’m hungry. Let’s find us some culture that sells food.
A little while later, they saw a drive-in that seemed not to be chain-affiliated. That’d do for food, they thought. The best road food in Minnesota comes from places like this, it seemed like a good bet. Once again, they were wrong. Mel ordered a cheeseburger, Dani a veggie burger, and both went out the window of the Tazio less than a mile down the road.
D: After that breakfast, I thought these people could eat! I guess we’re not in Italy any more…
M: No worries, love. I packed some trail mix. Chocolate, raisins, granola. Lemme just fish it outta the back…

And so the duo continued making time, hoping for the best and glad to have the elephant in the room acknowledged and dismissed.

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So erm… what’s happening with this?

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Everyone died from bad lutefisk. Game over, man.

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Gran: But I never had the fish, dear.

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Well, lore wise two of them will die after the events of the Meatball…:smiley:

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No, I haven’t forgotten this. I regret very much about this challenge though, but…I will finish it, now when the election is over I can relax a little bit more (I was responsible for very much of the work at the local section of the party I am involved in) and hopefully I don’t have to work overtime every day soon…

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tbh…
i kinda doubt it at this point

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