Aston's Orc Krew: Opening Pandora's... Toilet?
Out idiotic moronic intrepid trio is awaiting further instructions at the meeting point. Jack is standing in front of the car, arms crossed like he’s trying to be some badass actor from Hollywood. Sly is sitting to the side, playing his Nintendo DS. While it’s hard to make out the game he’s playing, the console is bellowing out some sick tunes. And Hugh?
Hugh: No, they’re here. …yeah, all are accounted for. They’re checking out the competition. The car? A Proletariat Alpaca. No, it’s not blue, even I had to do a double take. …what do mean it should be blue? Look, either you forward this to them, or we’ll have a drug war in our hands! And his blood in mine!
Jack: Yo Hugh, calm down. Your pacemaker is probably running on coal, it’s getting too hot.
Hugh: Sorry, mother tends to worry too much. (turns to earpiece) We’ll discuss this later, over. (turns to Jack) So, what is catching your attention so much?
J: Them (points at Operation BIRD). From what Sly told me, their car wasn’t supposed to be that Mimas. Can a team just change their car on the fly like that?
H: Darn it, it’s Tonsom. We at Lang… er, some friends of mine call that guy “Walking Dead Man Switch”. Every step he takes, he explodes. Impossible to work with, impossible to fight against. Just be lucky you’re on his neutral ground, kid.
J: It ain’t him that’s pissing me off, though. (looks at Redwood, who glanced at the team for a brief period and looked away almost immediately) That guy isn’t taking us seriously. I wonder how two fists will help his situation?
H: Calm down, Rocky. I’ll ask Tonsom if that’s how educates his children back home…
But suddenly, a grey muscle car speeds onto the scene, sideways! And it narrowly avoids flattening Hugh’s feet! Hugh follows the car to a stop with head movement, looking mostly unimpressed. Out of the car come two Latin youngsters. One of them, a girl, looks at Hugh and puts a sideways hand in front of her face, as if she’s apologizing. Then as quickly as they arrived, the duo moves on to seeing the other cars and drivers.
And despite being the furthest away from the situation, Sly fell on his backside from the shock. Thank god his big hand comes with big grip to protect handheld consoles!
Sly: (stares at the newest arrival) Ah, crap.
J: What?
S: Ana and Alejandro Gutierrez… The Shitbox Brothers!
J: I’m sorry, the what?
H: Do they always drive like that, Sly?
S: (slowly getting up) Unfortunately for us, yes. And judging by their entrance, they’re the missing team.
J: Great, so it’s another group of wackos coming straight out of Comic Con. So much for a proper last-second rival…
S: That’s because you don’t know what I do. My shop sponsored a 24-hour endurance event for clunkers, and they were there with a broken down Caliban Thunder. They had several crashes, the other drivers hated them, and their car left bits of wood all over the track. And yeah, their car had replacement wood panels. Wanna know where they finished?
H: Dead last?
S: Try third.
(Jack and Hugh’s eyes get as wide as dinner plates)
J: If you were one of my female fans, I’d say you are trying to fuck with me.
S: Believe what you want, Jack. But these guys are the real deal. They turned literal turds into success stories. They’re as legit as they come.
H: Their car looks pretty legit too. First of, it’s a muscle car, so it’s bound to be packin’ a V8. And while ride height is similar to Operation BIRD, I’m sure it’s equipped with an offroad setup like them too.
J: Ok, ok, so they aren’t just losers who think the ‘80s were life heaven. What you’re sayin’ basically is that while they’re not the organizers, they might as well be a damm elite team with their seal of approval.
S: No shit, and no pun intended. I know your eyes are on Operation BIRD because of their last-minute change to a wagon, but if your eyes can only see one team in front of them, make it this one.
H: Otherwise our chances will go straight to the crapper.
Jack and Slyvester stare at Hugh unamused, and go back to their previous positions without answering or looking at Hugh.
H: What…? Did I get something wrong?
To Be Continued!
Here’s hoping the Shitbox intro wasn’t too terrible, @Mr.Computah! I was eagerly awaiting their arrival to shape this part to what it is… And yes, I don’t like my chances much like Sly right about now, haha.
] “Yep. It did look like two guys doing yoga excersices…”
