Oh, man… this might require re-creating my Not-911 off-roader and seeing if anyone walks away with all (or most) of their limbs…
Edit: Dammit, my old backup .car file is too old to import, and I can’t properly recreate the car with the not-911 body. Time to think outside the box and start from scratch…
THE BEASTLY CMV
The car: Modified 1982 CMV M48
Base Car:
Double Wishbone suspension all around
Aluminum Panels
Corrosion Resistant Steel Monocoque chassis
4.8L 90* SOHC 32v V8
Original car can be found in my CMV thread
MODIFICATIONS:
Visual
Aftermarket plastic bumpers/front fascia
Bull bar
Carbon fiber mirrors
Carbon fiber hood
Aftermarket door handles
13 inch steel wheels
Painted brake calipers
8 Hood-exit exhaust pipes
Drivetrain
Lightweight forged pistons
Billet steel crankshaft
VVT
Performance intake
Race headers
Removed mufflers/catalytic converter
RWD to 4x4
4-speed auto to 5-speed manual
Open diff to manual locking diff
Suspension/Wheels
275 width/650 height mm tires
2/1 piston 250mm f/r brakes
16.9in ride height
Other
Basic Interior/no entertainment
Offroad skidtray
Results:
347 → 398 HP
287 → 315 lb-ft of torque
14.4 → 55.5 offroad score
9.7 → 14.0 MPG
3002 → 2986 lbs.
THE TEAM
Ricky: 34, mechanic, redneck
Bobby: 31, construction worker, also redneck
They’ve been best friends since childhood, and have been working on cars since they were 16
They’re at Ricky’s house enjoy a home-made microwaved fried chicken meal in front of a cheap 90’s TV showing the highlights of a NASCAR race
Ricky: *Cracking open a Budweiser “Hey, did ya’ hear 'bout that illegal race down in South Amurica?”
Bobby: “What race?”
Ricky: “Rumor has it some idiots are planning on doing a crazy offroad race down in Chili’s an’ the winner gets 3 million dallahs!”
Bobby: “You’re shitting me, right?”
Ricky: “Nah, but the catch is the car gotta be older than 2000 and less than 18 grand.”
Bobby: “18 grand? You could get an old F150 for 2!”
Ricky: “This isn’t somethin’ ol’ Betsy could handle. We’ve gotta make somethin’ faster.”
Bobby: “We’ve? 2 seconds ago you said some idiots are doin’ it!”
Ricky: “Well we’re idiots!”
Bobby: “Oh yeah… I’ll see what ol’ man Johnny got down at the junkyard, we can fix that up. Maybe an F150!”
Ricky: “Heh, sure.”
2 days later…
Bobby’s pulling up to Ricky’s house in an old M48 with a squeaky timing belt and thumping sound almost that’s as obnoxious.
Ricky: “What the hell is that? I thought you were lookin’ for a pickup, but you bring me this German piece of shit?”
Bobby: “Hey, it’s got a big V8 and slush-o-matic tranny, so don’t be so sure it’s not completely Amurican. And it would be pretty comfy if it weren’t for that rear left, Jesus Christ!”
Ricky: “And that timing belt squeals like a pig!”
Bobby:“Well, I can fix all of that, and a lot more.”
Ricky: “Whaddaya mean?”
Bobby: “I mean what if we have 400 hundred horses 4 wheel drive and a stick-shift?”
Ricky: “Sounds like a done deal.”
Bobby: “Now all we need is hundreds of hours of manual labor!”
Team GGEz
Driver: Miles Ezzell
Age: 27
Bio: Mechanic and a thrillseeker that’s always looking for a quick get rich scheme. Miles is one of those people you could call a tryhard, and is easy to become hotheaded if Julie isn’t there to keep him under control. He had a pretty damn good streak going for him in his street racing days, though it was for chump change. These days he keeps his driving to more legal routes for the most part, though some poor monetary decisions keeps him from racing too much. Lead driver because he’s the best of the three at it.
Co-driver/ co-navigator: Julie Gallo
Age: 26
Bio: Nurse by day and by her own words “too easily pressured into doing stupid shit”. Julie is typically under control and thinks logically, but too often gets roped into doing dumb things by her brother and fiancee and therefore has to find a way out. She’s definitely the smartest of the three, and can do effectively everything the boys can… aside from the big heavy lifting.
Mechanic/ navigator: Samuel Gallo
Age: 30
Bio: Skilled mechanic and “captain” of the group. Sam, while he lacks the brains of his sister, has good instinct with a cunning mind that often makes odd plans and decisions that work out well. And when those plans don’t work out, well, his little sister is there to bail them out. While he has perfectly capable driving skills, he had decided to take a more support role in being the main mechanic (he choose the vehicle and done the modifications afterall) and navigator.
Car:
1989 Ars Marax Turbo Adventure
Essentially a hopped up, beefed up station wagon that was given trickle down tech from group b and dakar ventures. The Marax Turbo featured a 3.0L Inline-6 turbo engine paired to a four-speed slushbox (or a 5 speed manual, which this one does not have). The Adventure trim added in plenty of offroad capability, with the relatively new at the time AWD system and manually lockable differentials. Its ride height was also raised, giving it plenty of ground clearance.
This particular example had been thoroughly serviced for the Great Automation run, with some modifications made. The biggest of which stripping its interior bare of anything but its essentials, suspension tuning for a bit more offroad capability, a few extra lights up front for those dark nights and an extra vent added on the hood to let the engine breathe a bit more.
ABOPCO Racing
Let’s say that, hypothetically, for some undisclosed situation you found yourself down in Bolivia for some “business”. Now let’s also say that, again, hypothetically, you found yourself in a ragged cantina while doing some “business” in Bolivia. Let’s also say for the sake of conversation, again, hypothetically, that while pouring yourself over your sixth shot of whiskey at this ragged old cantina you may have overhead from the gentlemen sitting across the room of an illegal offroading race with a $3,000,000 pot to the winner. Just to be wild let’s say that after overhearing of said race in said decrepit old cantina in the middle of nowhere while doing this very important business in Bolivia that you then stumbled across the oddly spinning room, which should be mentioned did not seem to be spinning when you entered, to this mans table and somehow slurred together a coherent enough sentence, in the correct language which you felt as it’s own small victory, to ask for details about this illicit race. Now just to be really wild, what if we said that after this beautiful Bolivian man told you about this race you said something rude about his wife and his mother both having slept with you and you’ve only recently woken up from a blackout next to a water trough on a strange farm of some description with a broken nose, bruised stomach, and a strange hankering for tacos. Ok, maybe that one’s not really related but you do really want some tacos. And a bottle of tequila. Well let’s say that after somehow remembering about the race from the night before that you also remember that you happen to have a friend with an old early 2000’s Dakar factory rally car and couple other guys that might want to come along.
Well, if you said all that you might find yourself in a very similar situation to Marcus Reynold. With one small difference. The car is a piece of shit.
Alright, maybe it’s not a total piece of shit, but it’s certainly not meeting your expectations. What is actually sitting in front of you is the 2000 HPC Rallye STV, the same one used as the factory support vehicle for the third team of the HPC Dakar rally outfit. Luckily it’s still just as capable as it was when it ran the race originally, and it’s still fully outfitted with the original equipment. Such important things as a steering wheel, and seats. Not to mention the full rally spec roll cage, rally computer, radio and intercom communications, GPS, hood mounted air intake, filtered roof scoop, rally auxiliary lights, and completely outfitted with spares.
Unfortunately this friend simply kept it as a collection piece and never kept it properly maintained for service, so it needs some work. So in an effort to win, Marcus allegedly formed his own racing outfit; ABOPCO Racing, or as it is known among the team members, A Bit Of Poo’s Come Out Racing. It consists of a nondescript team of four yet to be determined, because it’s late and I need sleep. Did I just break the fourth wall? I think I did just break the fourth wall. Stay tuned for more, and be on the lookout for ABOPCO Racing: Part 2: The Quest For More Money!
The Bois:
Erkki Eräjorma - The head of the team as he has the most experience with cars and team work although he has lived the past 10 years alone in a cabin as far away from civilization he could, . He has also spent the past 10 years fabricating a rollcage for the teams Nada Liva (It took him so long because he didn’t have a welder and he had to melt the metal tubing using a campfire)
Jukka-Pekka Yli-Kojola - The Nada expert. In theory he could repair any imaginable damage on car as long as the car is a Nada.
Eeli Keskimaasto - The psychopath. Even though he has some serious mental issues he can still sometimes help Jukka-Pekka, but due to him crashing his vintage motorcycle and breaking his leg he is pretty useless.
He also carries a Russian rifle that he has collected the parts from thrift shops (He doesn’t have any ammo for it though)
Teresa Garazov - The artist of the team. She could have been a very successful artist, but she is too lazy to actually make the art she just imagines it. She isn’t really useful for the team, but eh
The Not-Boi:
1990 Nada Liva
The Nada is a pretty solid vehicle, although its a bit thirsty.
Of course the Nada wasn’t left stock and it was fitted with a outer rollcage and some other offroad stuff:
(O’boy I spent a lot of time making this)
The drivers:
Jack Aston (27) / Hugh Ache (45) / Sylvester Dood (32)
The ride:
Modified '86 CSM Nash GPE
(Alright, this is going to be a rather lengthy conversation, but it also serves as the team and car’s intros, so skip it at your peril. Warning shot!)
Jack: Alright alright Internet guys, sit yo asses down and listen. This is your boy Jack Aston, comin’ at yacha hot from Bolivia! In case you never met yours truly before, I’m like Xander Cage from XXX. Only even less believeable and even more hardcore! The girls love me, the guys either hate me or love me too, and children all over the world send me Christmas letters thinkin’ I’m Santa!
So why am I here in Bo-lievea? Easy, 'cause the Great Automation Run is in town! The most hardcore cross-country race can’t be complete with the most hard-to-the-core guy in radical sports. All for a prize of 3 million! That’s right. 3 extra large for the guys crazy enough to risk their asses. And Jack is that crazy.
???: Jerk.
Jack: Of course I hear ya askin’ “yo Jack, you running this on foot?” I could’ve, but I’ll give these other guys a nice handicap, so that their tears won’t soil my podium ceremony later. And while I’m a guy of so many talents talent agencies fuse together just to hire parts of me, I brought some extra arms to carry me to victory. To my left is…
Hugh: Bolivia. A land which reeks of danger and death. Just standing here, facing it head on, brings sweat to my brow. They always say to face your fears head on… They’d rethink those words if that fear got closer, headbutted their overconfidence.
Jack: The hell, Hugh! You’re off again on your mind trips. Jesus dude, the camera is facing you, not to mention these Internet forum guys.
Yo, sorry about this. Dude is Hugh Ache. Guy is one of the toughest bro agents I met, but he’s always doing this noir movie shtick. It’s so 1930’s, but if that’s what gets him off… Besides, I think it’s no gimmick, ‘cause he’s always black. I ain’t talkin’ skin color here. He’s legit in black and white. He says he wears red clothing, but from here it’s all black.
Alright, you know the drill! Every stage we’ll give you all the hot insidah info on what’s crackin’, from the race to the cars in it. Only in HD, like the quality content you feast on, day in and day out. You’ll breath GAR, you’ll eat GAR and hell, you’ll be doing a Number 2 that’s GAR! Every chapter here will be part of everyone’s favorite work of art, my book on how to be awesome 24/7, 365 days a year; THE ASTON MANUAL!!!
???: Or for short, the AssMan.
Jack: Ok Sly, you’ve been doing nothin’ but talk crap back there. And why did you add an extra “S” to that!? Get off that truck-wide ass of yours and introduce it to these people.
Sly: Alright, Slyvester Dood here. I’m owner of a comic book shop, and Jack dragged me here because Lord knows he needs all the virtual pussy he can get, since he cannot hold a woman for more than 2 minutes. People say this is a very dangerous race, but maybe I can find inspiration for my newest work, about the gutsy Slyvan and…
Jack: Yeah yeah no cares about your DetouringART BS. You’re here 'cause as nerd, you’re packed with all kinds of lame skills that are somehow required to run a car here. A bunch of deadweight crap if you ask me, but not all cars are awesome like mine.
Together we’re the Aston’s Orc Krew, and we’re ready to rip it apart here in Bow-leave-a! I got this sick CSM back in America, mostly decked out to kick ass and steal girlfriends. It didn’t have an engine, but I stole… er, I mean procured an engine during our last “Ride Da Sand” event in Mexico!
Hugh: (talking to self here) That time in Mexico… It wasn’t all tequilas at sunset, that’s for sure. Jack got entangled in the web of crime, stealing an engine from a car. And to think of all derelict cars his path could’ve chosen, he picked a pickup belonging to the feared El Nabo. Yet whenever that name is dredged up, that scent of fear dwindles…
Jack: "Stay tuned for yo boys’ next adventures, when Jack and all the other guys fight to see who’s the most hardcore team of all. And also because Nick HC needs to make a good car first before killing off his own guys…
(collective laugh track ensues)
Yeah, real funny, Jack. Think I’m being 100% serious about this? I know I won’t win, and quite frankly it will be a miracle if a Nash can do the unthinkable and survive the Latin take on “Death Race”. There’s a reason why if you were a body part, you’d be called Iris.
Jack: Wait, the hell’s that supposed to mean?
Read between the lines, Jerk. Since you were so kind to mock your maker, I’m taking it from here. Please give a lackluster welcome to Aston’s Orc Krew’s steed for this mad dash across Bolivia;
This Nash was first bought by a Calfornia native, with rather straight-forward intentions. He wished to race it on the Baja 1000, of all places! However, being a GPE, this Nash was equipped with the not-so-reliable turbo engine, which promptly exploded during testing. Also the tailights failed for some reason, so they were replaced with aftermarket units.
No one was harmed, but the owner found second thoughts on his plan, so this engine-less Nash jumped from household to household, never truly becoming complete. Until Jack found it, of course. And as he… delightfully put it, the engine was taken from a Japanese pickup belonging to a Mexican cartel. The 98hp, 8-valve SOHC 2-liter isn’t an example in finesse, but this is not a race of might over right anyways.
Besides, the car has the right focus on the right area; an all-leaf suspension setup serves as the attempt to keep some of the Nash’s usual driver-friendly behavior, coupled with side bars, a bullbar, and front and rear roof lights. The rear ones serve as a stoplight strip, because a mere thin strip is tough to spot in the darkness!
At the driver’s area, a bench seat has just enough space for three human frames, leaving a very spacious rear compartiment for sparesand Sly’s corpse should he die first and Jack wants to keep him around as emergency rations.
Can Jack put 3 mil where his mouth is? Will the team get horribly mangled instead? Can a Nash finally be known for something good as opposed to ungainly designs and mocked catchphrases?
Sly: Stay tuned for the next episodes, I guess.
You couldn’t be more emotionally detached from that if you were Daniel Craig in “007: Spectre”, Sly.
Sly: Oh, Spectre. That’s my favorite spy movie of all time.
(facepalms) Christ on a bike… It’s a good thing I’m doing this for laughs and the Nash.
P.S.: And Jack is not subtle about wanting 3 xtra-large, either. Check this out!
Wait, that’s me
For real that’s basically me
Two puerto-ricans, And a cheap 70’s German SUV.
Jousseppe (“Kadeem”): a proffesional Rally driver, He passes Half of his time driving his friends (Semir) Custom vehicles. He wants to show-off his skills in the Great automation run (And win the 3 million dollar price of course). Will his optimism help him to win the Run?
Rick (“Semir”): Rick runs a little Mechanic business in puerto rico, He decided to be a mechanic when his car Failed to pass the Techinal inspection and he had to get it fixed by himself.
He supports Jousseppe idea of going into the “GAR” As the price would help Semir a LOT with his business, will it be a terrible decision for him and jousseppe?
(Took a picture of the rear, Because the front sucks)
the exterior is totally stock, except for the Foglights and the Plastic offroad bumper.
Spec Sheets:
(Yes, spelled that way on purpose, with all associated double entendres)
Quirky carmaker Keystone was known for some extra bizarre models during the 1980’s. This is a prime example, a second-gen R-series “rally coupe”. Powered by a 3 liter V6 engine and with a full off-road four-wheel drive system, these didn’t sell well to the general public. Yet this one is here ready for abuse…
Two young, “adventurous” high-school dropouts, Devon Squires and Ollie Newman have made their way to South America in their odd beast to… ahem… “sightsee” at some rather unsafe speeds.
How does this challenge work? Is it only based on the Automation stats of a car or are there laps driven in BeamNG (like in some other challenges) or maybe something else?
Automation stats + spreadsheet for the sake of probability, randomization and luck!
ohhhhh that’s what the automation thingys were!!! (the ones behind the wheels, i can’t remember the name in english for them)
Mud flaps. I’m sure there might be other names for them, but that’s what I’ve always called 'em.
Yeah, that name seems accurate. I put them in the middle of a door and thought “what the heck is that” 
Yes, that’s how they’re called.
Now i have to try to use them to made rear diffusers!
Looking at the team list as it is currently, I am the only entrant who did not use “Team” as part of his/her team name. Truly the sign of a dark horse you bet on!
If you like betting on full chambers loaded-Russian Roulette, that is.
Technically, we’re just the Rental Wreckers, but I understand what you’re getting at.
Indeed, I forgot that. And the principle also applies to other teams, like Old But Gold and ABOPCO Racing (what a letter soup, haha), in fact. I guess I accidentaly ensured the “Team” naming convention would not be applied to Mr. Aston’s team.
Plus, it’d ruin the “wonderful” dynamic of what that name becomes, when you turn it into an acronym. Said acronynm doesn’t refer to the team’s sanity, mind…
