Fair enough on some of them. Might revise a couple of them in the future, but for now, they’ll work.
iwantmommyiwantmilkiwanttobeheldiwanttobecomfortedandifyoudonotdoallthesethingsimmediately,iwillruinyourlifeiwantmommyiwantmilkiwanttobeheldiwanttobecomfortedandifyoudonotdoallthesethingsimmediately,iwillruinyourlifeiwantmommyiwantmilkiwanttobeheldiwanttobecomfortedandifyoudonotdoallthesethingsimmediately,iwillruinyourlifeiwantmommyiwantmilkiwanttobeheldiwanttobecomfortedandifyoudonotdoallthesethingsimmediately,iwillruinyourlifeiwantmommyiwantmilkiwanttobeheldiwanttobecomfortedandifyoudonotdoallthesethingsimmediately,iwillruinyourlife
TEAM BLAZERS
PROLOGUE II
A portion of this story was written by @Madrias
March 2022
Somewhere in the Mojave Desert
UNKNOWN TIMELINE
Despite the constant bearing down of the sun’s heat into the tent, it seemed as though with Romulo’s reluctance, the so-called ‘team’ was having a rough time with their decision making. The heat was really getting to them now, and the situation is a ticking time bomb between Watson and Romulo. However, it was starting to look as if one side was about to concede, and whilst the two bickered, Emily had moved away from them and towards Charlotte. Emily’s current clothes still stunk of the moist tropical rainforest, and the stench was getting to her.
“Charlotte… wasn’t it?” She said as she shifted over towards where the dark-pelted feline was sitting. Charlotte instantly turned her attention towards her, and tilted her head very much like a cat. “Y-yes~! What’s the matter?”
“I feel quite ashamed to ask this of you, but do you by chance have a spare change of clothes?”
“Oh, yes!” Charlotte said gleefully, before glancing over at the two boys, still going at each other, then looking back at Emily. “I think we could leave them be. They seem to be busy, so they probably won’t be peeping on you when you go for a change.”
“I surely hope they don’t.”
And with that, Emily woke Ga’araiya up and off did the three girls go to another part of the tent. Charlotte went and grabbed one of her luggages, opening it up to reveal a plethora of outfits, though more suited towards Charlotte’s tastes than something more general. Charlotte went through them one by one, slowly placing each folded cloth neatly down onto the tent’s floor liner for Emily to pick. She looked through them all, and found them to be mostly outfits with shorts and tanktops, something that Emily thought was a bit too revealing for her. Eventually however, Charlotte brought out an olive drab T-shirt dress that initially, Emily had thought to match well for her, and Emily went ahead to try it on, looking around first for any areas of seepage where one might try to steal a glance at her, before disrobing herself of her blouse and skirt, placing it in a neat pile next to her, and once she finally picked up the dress to replace her previous outfit, a glaring issue had now arisen.
“I-Isn’t this… quite lacking in length…?” She said as she observed the lower part of the dress. For her standards it was indeed very short, but Charlotte thought otherwise. Nevertheless, Emily got slightly flustered at the thought of her wearing such a thing.
“I think it’d suit you very well! Try it on! Although, you might want to change your underwear for this one, you could still try it on without it, though!”
“W-without?!” Emily’s face flushed a deep red, but Charlotte seemed unfazed, and only nodded in approval. Emily simply sighed, and with that, she stripped down to the bare minimum and put the dress on. Whilst Charlotte thought it was perfect length, Emily felt herself shudder from the cool breeze that flew right beneath her as the bottom edges of the dress was just barely covering the upper portion of her thigh.
“You look great in it! Hey, you should try letting your hair down! This’ll definitely get the boys riled up!”
“W-what are you saying?! Such nonsense! I-I’ll let you know I have no interest in captivating anyone right now!” Emily defended herself, still very much flustered. Charlotte paid no mind to this however, and continued looking through her luggage, before finally landing on a red dress that she thought could fit Ga’araiya instead of the oversized dress shirt she was currently wearing.
“Oh yeah, when you’re done, have her try this on. I’ll go check if the two are still going at it.” Charlotte said as she closed her luggage and went through to the other side. At last, it looked as though they were going through the final phases of their discussion.
“I guess if we are going to be going in, the car will need a few modifications first. How we’ll achieve that with the incredibly low budget we have right now however…” Romulo pondered. Indeed, as they weren’t prepared for it, none of them seemed to have prepared a budget of any sort. But Charlotte’s face seemed to have brightened up at the mention of budget, and she cheekily let out a small laugh. “Oh~! Hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh, ho~!”
“What is it?” Watson looked at her. Charlotte’s face grew smug as she looked over at the two of them, before rushing back into the other tent to grab a pouch and returning. “So, how much exactly do we need?”
Romulo looked at her for a moment, before looking towards the vehicle through a gap in the tent’s walls. “I’d say… based on the exchange rates at the time, about another $250 or so, to make things simple.”
Immediately, Charlotte pulled out a --what looked to be-- fresh stack of US dollar bills, all in denominations in the hundreds. “Here you go!” She said smugly as she handed over the cash.
“I thought you were not of this world?” Watson looked at her with some suspicion, but immediately Charlotte responded. “I-I have my connections, that’s all!”
“Right, I guess if we have the issue of money sorted, then the next thing is actually acquiring the parts and tools needed to pull things off.”
“What’s your plan anyway?” Asked Charlotte.
Romulo sighed, and began to explain. “The main thing we’re going to need is a snorkel, and for me to water-proof the extra wires that weren’t already water-proofed before. The next thing is an extra fuel storage canister. I don’t know how far apart the gas stations would be over there in that other world, but I’m not taking any chances. We’d also need a radio, I believe, and another spare tyre and other structural bits and bobs needed for actually preparing it for unknown conditions. Of course, we can’t just do it where we bolt them on with our bare hands, we’re going to need actual tools for this, and we’re going to have to get those things from somewhere.”
“Is there not any store in a nearby town that we could purchase the things you had just said?” Watson asked cluelessly.
“If it were that easy, I’d head over right now with Charlotte’s money, but the thing is, that car is registered in the Philippines, it has a Philippine license plate and everything. Driving that on American roads would be very out of place, if I had, say, a Mexican license plate or Canadian license plate, I could probably get off scot-free.”
Charlotte thought for a moment, and immediately something clicked in her head.
“I think I know a way we can do things. You see, one of the organizers of the event is this really nerdy, cool, tech-y dude who might look menacing at first but I’m quite certain, don’t tell him I told you this, is actually quite soft and caring. I think we can get this to work!”
Romulo and Watson looked over at each other for a moment, and once again Romulo sighed before getting up.
“Right then, I guess we might as well try.”
Before the two went ahead however, Emily and Ga’araiya had emerged from the other side of the tent, Emily’s face was still visibly tinted a slight red.
“Well, well, well~!” Charlotte teased.
“W-what?” Emily looked at her. Watson had this uncomfortable smirk on his face, and cheekily, he asked something as he looked at the area between the dress and her thighs. “Are you… wearing anything underneath that?”
Emily’s face flushed an even deeper red, and frantically gripped the hem of the dress in embarrassment. “A-Avert your indecent gaze! Th- That’s none of your business!” Angrily, Emily stormed over to the other corner of the tent, and sat herself down carefully and simply just pouted. Charlotte placed her hands on her hips and chuckled. “You could always ask me for spares, y’know?”
“Are you supposed to be talking about this in front of us guys?” Romulo kept his gaze averted from Emily, as it looked as though she had a killer glare in her eyes. Charlotte once again chuckled. “You’re right, we shouldn’t be talking about this now. It seems Emily’s not too uncomfortable though, so I guess I can leave her like this for now. Oh, almost forgot to mention, Ga’araiya looks adorable in that dress, doesn’t she? I guess it’s natural, she’s a princess after all, and princesses would obviously look great in everything!” She puffed her chest.
“Sounds like you know quite a bit about Princesses. Could you be speaking from experience here?” Watson smugged. It seemed though that Charlotte was quick to deny this fact, shaking her head immediately. “N-no! Not at all, I mean…”
As her voice trailed off in a seemingly gloomy tone and her face began to grow weary, Romulo sensed that he’d needed to move away from this discussion. “So, should we actually get going now? Asking that one guy you were mentioning earlier? You seem to know him, Charlotte, so I think it’d be best if you led the way.”
“Well, I don’t really know him, but you see, Charlotte can read people’s hearts! And the instant I saw him, I could immediately tell he’s not the tough guy he looks like. So, yes! Let’s go!”
Charlotte then led him out of the tent, and the two scoured the area as they looked for a certain organizer, but eventually they had found the two-headed, white-furred werewolf there through the tents. Charlotte signalled for Romulo to follow her, and the two proceeded as they approached the large being.
“Heya, Malavera, isn’t it? Charlotte here~! I’ve got a small request from you, if you don’t mind~!” She says, approaching him.
Malavera looked up from his bulky camouflage-painted laptop as Charlotte walked over to his table and called out to him. “Small requests rarely are,” Malavera quipped, though gave a light nod with his left head toward the empty seat on the other side of the table.
Romulo stared in awe, this was the first time he’d seen such a being before. Charlotte begun to present her case. “A~nyway! We’re in a bit of a tight situation, you see. So our group never really exactly planned things out… well, actually, we…” She went on and on rambling about the backstory, Romulo simply sighed and asked him straight up for what they were looking for. "Yeah, you heard her I guess. We’re not from around here and we’re lacking in preparation. We’ll need a bit of help
Malavera nodded. “Plates, not a problem,” he said, “I keep a few spare sets around just in case.” He looked back toward the Bricksley, knowing the plates were in the toolbox, but not wanting to get up right now to go grab them. Luckily for him, he spotted a solution to the mild problem. “Kivenaal! Quit playing with your pistols and get me the blue lunchbox out of the truck’s toolbox!” Malavera yelled.
Kivenaal nearly dropped his four revolvers, momentarily startled, though quickly holstered all four of them after one final spin around his fingers. The black furred, red-striped, and four-armed Valraadi quickly rushed over to the truck in his cowboy outfit, both tails twitching as he reached into the toolbox and grabbed the box Malavera had asked for. He then brought it over to Malavera, who grabbed it, set it down on the table, and opened it up.
“Either of you want an oven-baked scorpion?” Kivenaal asked, pulling a brown paper bag out of his messenger bag, opening it up, and fishing a small scorpion out of it. He popped it into his mouth with a crunch, his pale blue tongue visible for a brief moment.
“Don’t be disgusting, Kiva,” Malavera said. “At least close your mouth before you crunch those,” he added, brushing scorpion crumbs off of his pale yellow robe. Malavera flipped through his available plates, checking them against his laptop’s database as he did so.
“That one’s been used too soon. New York isn’t a good option right now. Canadian plate for… No, that one is for a motorcycle. Ah, here we go, a set of Mexican plates,” he said, setting the two plates on the table. There was another almost deafening crunch, and Malavera glared at Kivenaal with both heads. “Must you do that by me?”
Kivenaal shrugged, rolled the top of the paper bag shut again, and stuffed it back into his messenger bag. “Your loss, Mal. They’re a delicious and healthy snack.”
Malavera shook his right head and sighed. “For as long as he’s been here, he still has much to learn,” Malavera said. “So, you two have the physical plates now. Give me a few minutes and as far as anyone’s concerned, they’ll be legal plates.”
For a few minutes, all that could be heard from Malavera was occasional quiet mumblings, the sound of keys clicking under rather strong fingers, and the soft whirring of his laptop’s fans. He flipped a cover open on the back of the laptop, selected ‘print’ and out came a few sheets of very legal-looking documents. He grabbed them and handed them over, saying, “Those papers will hold up to a traffic stop, but drive safely.”
“Uwah~! How handy! I knew you were the kind who was so eager to help people out~!” Charlotte remarked cheerfully. “Right, thanks a lot for this. Another thing is, I’ve heard we would’ve required a radio to communicate with other drivers. Any chance you’ve got spares with you?” Romulo inquired as he carefully scanned the papers.
Malavera nodded. “We have a couple spare units we could rent out,” he said, getting out of his folding metal chair and standing up to his full height as he walked over to the Bricksley and looked around in the toolbox again. He came back to the table with a CB radio in its box, handing it over to Charlotte. “If you need help installing this, ask for Kaylie. She’s the Tigrilan with the chrome left hand.”
“A chrome hand?” Charlotte pondered as she took the radio and looked around. “I’ve done stuff like this before. I think we could manage. I do appreciate the offer though, and if things do get messy, I’ll get back to you.” Romulo nodded, and with that, he signalled to Charlotte for them to head back.
“Wait, already? Shouldn’t we meet the others first before we do anything?” Charlotte tugged on Romulo’s shirt, but it seemed as though he’d made up his mind already.
“It’ll be sundown soon, so I’d say we should get going if we don’t want to end up working into the night.” He said as he went ahead back towards the vehicle. Charlotte simply sighed and followed along.
Upon their arrival to the tent, Romulo had told Charlotte to leave the radio inside the tent for now, and he got to work changing the license plates out, something that took no more than a few minutes. He then proceeded to enter the tent, and began a discussion on who’s going where.
“Right, so I’ve checked my GPS, the nearest town fortunately isn’t much longer than an hour drive from here, and looks like they’ve got the shops I’m looking for. I’ll need someone to join me.” He announced, and immediately Charlotte was the first to speak up. “Ooh~! I’ll go!”
“You’re not.” Romulo was quick to shut her down, and not without his reasons. “I don’t want to sound racist, but c’mon, you’re going to stick out like a sore thumb!”
With that, Charlotte sat herself back down next to Emily. The next one to speak up was Watson, who was actually rather hesitant. “I believe I could go, however, I’m not sure about the moral standards of this timeline. Or perhaps, even the fashion or demeanor of the people of this era.”
“You have a point, we’re a whole seven years ahead of my own timeline. I’m not quite sure what’s happened over the years since. Hell, since this is a different timeline, I’m not even sure if the events of my present are the events of this timeline’s past.” Romulo analyzed.
“You’re learning my ways I see.” Watson chuckled before getting up. “I guess, things can’t possibly be too bad. Should we go then?”
“W-wait! Can’t I just come along? Surely, the people here will recognize it as just ‘koseplay’!” Charlotte insisted.
Romulo thought for a moment. “‘Koseplay’? You mean cosplay?”
“The one where people dress up as fictional characters? Indeed!”
“You look way too real for that!” He asserted as he took a closer look at Charlotte. Indeed, anyone with a keen enough eye would be able to immediately tell that her eyes were very much like that of a panther’s, and her fur did not look artificial like that of cosplayers Romulo was accustomed to. “Unless in the seven years that have passed, cosplay technology had advanced enough for materials to look like the real thing, I don’t think you’d be able to get off scot-free.”
“If anything bad happens, I’ll take responsibility! C’mon! Take me along!” It was at this point where Charlotte had begun using the feline equivalent of ‘puppy eyes’, she ran over towards Romulo, her short stature allowing her to plant herself right below his head and look straight up into his eyes.
“P-pwetty pwease~…?” She pouted in a cutesy way. Something seemed to have begun awakening within Romulo, for he was never really a cat person, but right now this precious being right before him was stirring up all his emotions deep inside of him. He felt his face begin to heat up and his heart thump faster. “W-well…” He attempted to avert his gaze, but as he looked back down, she seemed to have made a sweeter face than before, and she began kneading her hands on his chest and swinging her tail from side to side in an attempt to gain his favour even more. Her outer jacket began sliding off her, and slowly revealed her bare shoulders, also covered in the same royal black pelt that matched the fur all over her. And now, she had broken him it seemed.
“A-alright! Alright! You’re coming along too!” He said shoving her out of the way, his face very much flustered right now. “Yahoo~! Alright, let’s get going! I call shotgun!” Charlotte cheered victorious as she cheerfully made her way outside. Romulo could only sigh as Watson got up and patted him on the back. “Truth be told, I probably wouldn’t be able to resist her charms either. That’s a princess for you, I guess.” He giggled before making his way out the tent as well before allowing himself to offer an explanation. Confused, Romulo followed right along. “H-hey! You, shut up as well! Wait… Princess? How do you know she’s a princess?”
“I am not a princess!” Charlotte was standing there, arms crossed with a rather angry look on her face. “Just because I have a royal pelt, doesn’t mean I am royalty! I have nothing to do with those kinds of people, none!” She said as she stormed off towards the passenger’s side door of the red crossover.
And so, with an angry cat in the front passenger seat, the three set off on an awkward journey towards the nearest town, a few miles away from where the campsite was. On the road, not a single word was muttered between the three, and once they’d arrived in the town, it was just as awkward then.
Romulo had located the shops he was looking for, and since Charlotte had the money, whenever Romulo had the part he needed to buy, it always pretty much resulted in him needing to go to her for the money. Let’s not forget about the stares, either. Charlotte’s black fur and unusual appearance attracted all around her, from stares, to people asking for photographs. Initially, she had found it entertaining, but as the photos went on, her mood slowly began to deteriorate --that’s of course not to say that it already hadn’t been with the talk about royalty–, and both Romulo and Watson were noticing this. He proceeded to make his decisions quicker, though it was not exactly like he needed to pick specific parts out at this point anyway.
At the end of their journey however, Charlotte had begun to get a bit cheeky, and when Romulo asked Charlotte for the money, she responded in a manner that neither Romulo nor Watson were expecting.
“Oh, is that so? You need money for buying something? Well, well, my, my…” Her tone shifted from her usual cheery, idol-like voice, to this sudden deeply entrancing low tone. They noticed her eyelids lower, making them appear sharper and more seductive as she slowly grabbed the wad of cash out from within her bag. “How about… you ask your mommy nicely~?”
It seemed as though she’d hit a weak spot in Romulo, as he could now feel his heart start to beat just a bit faster. “H-hey, Charlotte, I don’t think now’s the time for-”
“Time for… what, exactly? You asked mommy for money, so now… beg.”
Romulo looked at Watson, who seemed to just be giggling off in the distance, avoiding eye contact with the two of them. He then looked back at Charlotte, who was now right there below him, twirling her finger on his chest as she looked up at his face with a smugly seductive look.
“C-Charlotte…?”
“Hmmm… You don’t want to comply, don’t you? Why don’t you start by addressing me as ‘Mommy’, first and foremost?”
Romulo was suddenly taken aback as she grabbed onto his collar with a strong grip that managed to overpower him. Something cold immediately touched his left earlobe, and he felt a warm breeze flow over it as she moved her mouth to his ear. Charlotte was about to say something, but a very loud sound of someone clearing their throat from behind him seemed to put a stop to her behavior.
“Excuse me you two, mind if you don’t do your little roleplaying here in my shop? If you’ve got something to buy, buy it now and get out and find yourselves a room for Christ’s sake.” Declared the old man behind the counter.
“Looks like I’ll have to save your punishment for later~.” She whispered into his ear before placing the stack of cash into his hand and letting him go. She walked over towards Watson, and looked at him with a menacing glare, and all he could do was look away, still giggling.
Romulo just sighed, his heart was still racing and he could feel his cheeks still being warm, but nevertheless he moved on and went over to the counter to pay for the item he needed. The older man at the counter just constantly gave him a disapproving look as he scanned the items.
That awkward interaction aside, they made it back to the car and drove off back towards the camp with the parts needed, and not uttering a single word as they drove. Even through bizarre events happening on the road, they remained silent all the way until they arrived back at the camp, where the sun was resting a fairly decent bit above the horizon line. Romulo parked the car next to their tent, and immediately began unloading the parts he’d needed to do the modifications. He grabbed the car’s built in table from beneath his piles of things in the boot, and set it down next to the car, and then shifted to preparing the other tools he’d need, from the cutters, the grinders, plies, and most importantly, his now 20-year-old boombox. With that all now out of the way, he was now ready to begin his operations. He set the boombox down on the table next to the other tools, and with enough fiddling, he’d found a radio station he’d liked and got to work.
Tedious as it was, and with the afternoon sun setting, he was starting to feel quite hot, and he unbuttoned his blue floral shirt and set it down onto the table next to him. and got back to work.
Yet, something still bugged him as he performed the modifications. Something about how Charlotte began acting after Watson’s remark of her being a princess. That remark managed to hit a nerve or something that he wasn’t exactly sure how to explain. Almost as though it brought out an inner demon she tried to keep suppressed. He now really began wondering if she indeed were a princess, when suddenly he heard footsteps on the rough sand behind him. He lifted his head from the engine bay and looked back, and when he looked back there he saw Charlotte walking around him towards the side of the vehicle, she had something in her hands which she placed on the table but he wasn’t quite able to make it out. He turned back towards the engine bay and continued working as to him, it seemed as though she wasn’t going to do anything.
After he’d finished his work on the engine bay, he got up and wiped the sweat off his brow, shutting the hood and ensuring the connection was firm, and now the snorkel had been installed. From behind him, Charlotte had finally broken the silence. “I left you a bottle of water, by the way. It’s on the table.”
Romulo sighed as he moved onto the next part of his work, but decided to reply in a sarcastic manner. “Gee, thanks, mommy.”
“Good boy.” Was all he heard that she responded. It was at this point where he finally acted, and decided to ask the question that was burning inside of him for the past hour and a half.
“Charlotte, tell me straight, what’s wrong?”
“I thought you were calling me mommy?” She sighed. Romulo decided it was enough, he placed the tool he was using on the table and went towards Charlotte, standing next to the car. She attempted to move away, but he’d manage to lean his hand on the door next to her, successfully trapping her and preventing her from escaping. “Tell me, what’s wrong?” He asserted himself. “What is it with you and us calling you a princess?”
Charlotte remained silent, and she avoided eye contact with him for as much as she could, even despite Romulo lowering his head to gaze right into her eyes.
“Even if I did tell you, what does it matter to you?”
“I’m not participating in this race with one of our members in a sour mood.”
“So now, you’re calling us a team? We haven’t even filled the registration form out.”
“Charlotte.”
“Stop it.”
“Charlotte-!”
“Goddamn it, do you really want to know that badly? Didn’t I tell you to address me by ‘Mommy’?”
“Mommy, please.”
For some unknown reason, when Romulo had said that with a straight face, that completely managed to somehow catch Charlotte off-guard, and she felt her cheeks flush a little when she stared back at him dead-on.
“F-fine! If you really want to know, then I’ll tell you!”
“I’m all ears.” Romulo said, his face still at eye level with Charlotte, and still centimetres apart. Of course, she wouldn’t be able to respond like this, so she attempts to push him away with a somewhat flustered face. “C-could you perhaps… N-not be so close?”
Romulo had realized it eventually, and now he too was slightly flushed. He moved his head away from her, and stood up straight. “R-right, sorry… T-then… are you going to explain now?” He said as he took the bottle of water from the table, having a swig before settling it back down.
Charlotte sighed, and now began explaining. “The truth is, I am indeed a part of royalty. Why I vehemently deny it is… complicated.”
“So my hunch was right, you are of royal descent.” Watson said as he emerged from the other side of the red automobile. “Oh, and by the way, you accidentally placed one of the decals off-center on this side compared to that side.”
“Decals…? Wait a second-!” Romulo observed the vehicle closely, now adorning it were a bunch of sponsor logos plastered all over the vehicle, as though it were an actual rally car. “Did you… did you put these?” He glared at Charlotte.
“W-well… I thought, since we’re going rallying, we should try… y’know… making it feel like a rallycar… Tehe~!” With that, it now seemed as though Charlotte’s personality from earlier had returned, and her cheerful self now replaced whatever dominatrix mommy persona had immediately preceded. Romulo could only stare at disbelief, because not only was the car plastered in fake sponsors and race inspired decals, potentially ruining the ‘well-preserved’ (according to him) paint-job, but it seemed that to apply the decals firmly, the exclusive dealer-installed trim piece on the side of the car was removed to make way for them.
“Where did you put the trim pieces?” He looked at her menacingly, and as he sharply turned his head towards her, a small cat-like whimper emanated from between Charlotte’s lips, and she began to slightly cower in fear as to what may happen to her. “Uhm… I-I… I h-have… No idea what you’re talking about! Tehe~!”
“Stop 'tehe’ing me. That trim piece was very rare! Oh my god! There goes the resale value of this vehicle!” He agonized. Though, he was arguably agonizing for not a lot.
“I will have to admit though, it’s certainly starting to look a bit more professional.” Watson remarked.
“How would you know that, Mister 1936?” Romulo replied snarkily.
“Charlotte showed me some pictures. Though I think the paint itself is still lacking. It’s just a simple red and a white pinstripe, nothing much is really going for it.”
“Wait… pinstripe?”
“I’ll have to agree, there’s not a lot to see really. Though the decals spice it up just a little bit.” Charlotte explained a bit more. Romulo took a closer look at the vehicle. It’s appearance certainly had gotten a bit more lively with the addition of sponsors, although he’s not exactly sure whether or not the sponsors on the vehicle actually agreed to have their names placed on this particular car. He just accepted it and shrugged, despite being a wee bit bitter about the limited edition trim pieces. “Well, they’re there now I guess.”
Romulo walked over towards the table, the sun was just barely peeking over the horizon now and the breeze was beginning to settle in. He put his shirt back on and continued on the final adjustment, the addition of the CB radio antenna. He found a mounting point between the spare tyre and the tailgate, and he carefully planned the area out and eventually with a bit of fiddling between the body’s panel gaps, the antenna was installed and the radio was good to go.
Romulo took a step back to admire the magnificence of what had now been made. It’d be a shame if the vehicle was damaged beyond repair in the rally, and he was now beginning to have second thoughts about entering in the first place. He felt something bump his elbow, and he looked down to see Charlotte standing there next to him.
“Well then, we’re ready to go now, aren’t we?” She asked.
“Yup, the snorkel’s been firmly installed. Shouldn’t be a leak on it. The electronics have been pretty much waterproofed all the way to the beltline, so we can do a bit of wading without issue. I’ve also adjusted the suspension’s setting, it should ride slightly higher now and the stance should be just a little bit wider to prevent the vehicle from rolling over. The CB radio should come in handy should we get a bit separated from the rest of the other vehicles.” Romulo wiped his dirty fingers off with a towel sitting on the table. “So we’ll just need to fill that form out, then?”
Charlotte nodded, and Romulo proceeded to put away the tools and call it a day.
And what a day it was.
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TEAM BLAZERS
THE TEAM
EXTRA DATA
yeah i got too lazy with trying to clean these sketches up
Driver/Mechanic
Raymundo M. Romulo
"Are we really doing this?"
- Likes: Taho, bananas, blonde girls, cats, cars
- Dislikes: Blonde guys
- Skills: Surviving through poverty, working on cars, driving fast through fairly loose terrain, good with knives and machetes.
- Prior racing experience: Being first in a go-karting activity during a field trip at his school. His opponents were all very slow underclassmen.
Driver/Mechanic/Sharpshooter
Watson
"What's elementary about this?"
- Likes: The sunny Italian countryside.
- Dislikes: Guns
- Skills: Very skilled with an 1848 six-shot Colt Revolver, also apparently has decent knowledge behind the wheel of an automobile.
- Prior racing experience: Unknown
Navigator
Emily Clarkson
"This could barely even be called a dress..."
- Likes: Airplanes, travelling, flying
- Dislikes: Apparently not a lot
- Skills: Very good with reading maps, capable of flying an airplane and has decent knowledge on internal combustion engines.
- Prior racing experience: Has watched the Gran Premio D’Italia a couple of times.
???
Princess Ga’araiya of Atlantis
"..."
- Likes: food
- Dislikes: When asked what she dislikes, she simply pointed at Watson and frowned.
- Skills: Unknown
- Prior racing experience: Unknown
Tour Guide/Navigator
Charlotte Bluhart
"Charlotte can read other people's hearts!"
- Likes: Fashion, pretty outfits, Earth motorsports, fast and slow cars alike.
- Dislikes: War, pointless conflicts, weapons.
- Skills: Very good at reading maps, capable of wielding magic, has a lot of knowledge with how an automobile works but has never really put that knowledge into practice.
- Prior racing experience: None
THE AUTO
Romulo’s 2000 Yamada ASR-4 had recently recieved a couple of quick modifications to prepare themselves for the rally.
Now installed is an aftermarket snorkel kit designed specifically for the ASR-4, which Romulo claims was a lucky find. The suspension which was adjustable had been given an extra amount of ground clearance, and the offset was also adjusted slightly to reduce the chances of rollover.
Romulo, using the money mommy Charlotte had provided to him, had also managed to acquire another fullsize spare tyre, an extra fuel storage canister, as well as some aftermarket hood mount foglights specific for the ASR-4 which he himself was surprised to have found.
Speaking of Charlotte, whilst at an automotive store and whilst Romulo wasn’t looking, she managed to purchase a couple of sponsor decals, and placed them on the car also whilst Romulo wasn’t looking. And now the car looks like a fake Baja truck.
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Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Team, car and prologue: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! - #30 by MrdjaNikolen
Previous post: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! - #118 by MrdjaNikolen
So, few members of this team were replaced by other two members. This is not really that unusual
i guess, although it might be only case in which team has different structure to what was anounced in beggining.
How two of us were so conveniently in America, considering that we too come from Serbia?
Lets see.
I was planning to return to home, when i got information that some big decisions needed to be made.
Since said decision was placed in US, i refered to someone else who is already there (You already learned about Pi) but they decided that she is, i qoute, “So incredibly stupid she is bound to mess something up. We need someone with more advanced intelligence.”
Note that both Klimentol and Chicota might prove out to be better than me in decision making, but those two were deemed too good and it was insisted that im to appear.
Other options:
- Piuling and Achnora were too interested in finding new roasts that they can use to prove they are better than me. I asked them for this favor, they decided to use one of those roasts as response.
Not gonna lie, roast was good one.
Sadly for them, it does applies to them as well (they are way too similar to me) - Kikra and Nanyuka were rejected on grounds that these guys wouldnt like to see feminine version of me - as in, with longer hair and more pronounced…roundy bits
- Bong lacks skills for that.
- Nyaso and Ling decided “to defend my honour” as they said against roasty fellas i already mentioned.
Alternatively, they could also be employed to work in Daniloski car company as kinda managers. - Smoorle, Chitco Daniloski, Renata Daniloski and Mee-hi-leenah are already tasked to help him
I had shared the news with some group that happened to be nearby atm, when, interestingly, VerBanka got the call related to very same Pi i just mentioned.
Andrea Chitco seemed to be very worried about proposition of her best friend, Pi, going to potentially dangerous journey, so she asked VerBanka to join said group to take care of her.
VerBankas presence would not make Pi any safer, mind you.
As it was in my case, there were alternatives, rejected on various grounds
- Omega was enjoying her time with her boyfriend and they were travelling around…i think Croatia?
(Note to self, warn Quint to persuade Omega to visit Rimac campus. There are some questions that need to be answered and i rely on him to deliver me said news. - Amanda was not interested in “fun activities of weaklings” AKA she was pain in ass as always.
Some shooting was heard, followed by screams and wimper, then silence.
We arent sure who were Amandas opponents, but knew they likely arent in very good condition now, to put it very mildly. - Renata doesnt care about Pi that much and also, she needed to help Daniloski with few things, which meant she would be busy for a while.
- Andrea herself couldnt join on fun either. She was on journey to enhance herself and couldnt exactly be on two places at same time.
Considering that both of us had aimed to go to roughly same destination, me and VerBanka travelled together to there.
Tbh she really aimed for just notifying Pi to take care of herself, even tho she knew that would likely enter through one and exit through another ear, without any attempt to stay in between.
We had talked through journey about…well, mainly about how Quint and Omega were so happy, which quickly turned into car talk monologue.
We had good time on meeting, since one confused employee accidentally started to show some NSFW material, to extend to funny video where some ppl failed a lot in several ways of life
He also showed some email that described entering a rally
(Format of mail was mentioned here: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! - #19 by Madrias ) which posed few questions.
- Why he enjoys watching ppl commiting baby-making acts (commiting for fun ofc, but baby can be result of it) inside taxis?
- Why that dude with car thought he could pass freshly paved concrete if he decides to yeet his car over that part of road?
- Why literally was every single mail related to rallying of some sort he received also sent to mail of managers in company?
After that, we tried to locate team and managed to, in fact, reach them.
To do so, we joined Aydar Senior, who was already mentioned in post #116 in this thread.
Same post reveals that Loojoe got mad medical issues, so he needed to be sent home instead of doing journey and on journey home, he will be acompanied by his adopted son Siviko and our Support team.
Aydar Junior: So, when do we continue?
How? Why?
(Ye, everyone was absolutely surprized)
Aydar: I had received mail for rally too, but didnt had means to go. I would like to join you, would be willing to use all of my abilities if needed.
Chicota knew he is now greatly overshadowed in terms of…everything, but yes, he would appreciate additional useful member.
He also noted that team can cover six ppl, which was exactly number of us left on street now.
Chicota: Oldie, you two plan on joining us? (He likes to call me Oldie, bcos…well, im old.
Im only one that he would call in such way).
-Not really, neither of us would be of much use.
Chicota: And i can guarantee that whatever you plan to do when you get back in Serbia isnt gonna be very exciting. Also, im sure you will appreciate more time with her (tilts towards VerBanka).
-If she goes, then yes. But again, im not really convinced.
Pi will be kinda dead weight - i imagine she might be good for helping to unstuck the car, but Aydar is much better at that
Pi: I dont plan on being dead weight. Also he is smart, so he cant tow or do other strength stuff.
He must do smart-guy stuff…ok, smart-dog stuff but you get the point.
Before you say Klimentol and Chicota can do those…you can never have enough smart ppl.
Everyone must contribute to team to best of their abilities.
I just so happen to be pretty lenient in terms of stuff that can damage me.
VerBanka: Which is why Andrea had tasked me to join you lot, to keep an eye on you.
Tbh…i dont really think i could do much, if anything, to prevent your damage, so im not fully convinced.
Chicota: In that case, you should probably join: Andrea wouldnt like to see you decided to trick her.
We will do our best to prevent you getting hurt.
And said best is really high, as you could see.
Pi: Andrea could have ordered that to someone less fragile
But i believe she chose you for being inherently good person and being smarter than me - latter one isnt hard to achieve, but still.
Regardless, it will be fun
Well, likely yes, will be fun.
Prob would have many challenges, but i decided to join them.
Partially it was bcos VerBanka also decided to join on the fun.
This will be it, then.
We settled near Vegas to wait for some clothes for VerBanka and myself and we chose to fill the time by notifying Team Shift Happens.
Thats…interesting name for a team.
After that would be dealt with, we are going straight on start line
Excitement was indeed real, but question remains.
Would we be weirdest team there with our
- two talking dogs,
- alcoholic robot
- Pi, thats obviously made in similar fashion to Frankenstein’s monster
?
(IRL me is aware that answer to last question is big no, but i have got to that conclusion tad bit further in future from time perspective
Also know why Team Shift Happens has its name; spent few hours going through their adventures the other night)
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“Why are we here?” Joe asked, it was a fair question. It was not horseracing season, and in the stable lot sat a fairly nice commercial car hauling rig with the ramp already down. Rick motioned over to the hauler while looking at the office, and his cell phone rang. “Jeff, are you ready? Is everyone here? Good!” Jack Hartman, the owner of a regionally distributed brewery and a partner in the race track says to his brother Joe, who is director of everything at the brewery, “do you remember a couple of months back when I mentioned that Rally I was interested in?” Well I had a company build a rally car. At that moment the owner of Rally Super stepped out of the front door of the hauler and walked over to the two of them. “You must be Joe, pleased to meet you. Jack, you were right about moving the spare tanks to the back instead of carrying that much weight on the top. Take a look.” Joe peers in to this …thing in his mind. “Is that a… 70…something…TinyMouse?” “Close, Joe - its a 1972 Yinzer MightyTiny.” “You are rallying one of those? Why?” “Various reasons, just for as much as why you would ask. The engine was swapped from the 60 horsepower I4 to a 170 horsepower Boxer4. Since this is going to be a hot event, the cooling was upgraded, and air conditioning was added, and it also has a hydraulic suspension system and power steering. It is a respectable car to run around with, and should handle the twelve plus hour segments of the 5,000 mile Rally decently.” “FIVE THOUSAND MILES? How are you going to handle that with just a driver and navigator?” “This one has also been modified - the jump seats are out of the back and a full bench seat is in place. We have a team of four racing in it.” “Jack, now I know you have been running a successful business for the past two decades, but have you been sampling too much IPA? How do you plan on getting 4 people in that car for 5,000 miles?” Jack gave Joe that look Joe had been familiar with for over four decades and said “Hiring Strategy”. “Mister Fisk! hello! We are here and ready for track testing!” “Great Angela! Joe, I would like you to meet Anglea and Dave Hawlings, and Rita Hutchings and Darra Watson. They are both couples who happened to meet here at work” - Jack says with a smile for the crowd. Jack can see from the look on Joes face that he was quite surprised to be rolling this tiny classic out of the car hauler so that four jockeys who the tallest was not tall at all could learn how to rally from Jeff, their racing coach. Jack has a motto in racing that it is easier to find the competiveness then teach the talent then hope for a talented competitor.
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Team Slow
Part 4.1: At the starting party.
We’ve got the car at the starting party, then now we wait some time. We prepare our oven and camping gear basically for what would be a while. The car is fine, however the tires are basically rotted now.
(Basically a filler until the race begins.)
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Team Shift Happens
Previous Chapters:
The Plan / Getting the Truck / The Email
A Trick and a Wager / I Hate Scorpions!
March 4, 2022, a patch of the Mojave Desert, now designated as the Official Shitbox Rally of 2022 Starting Line, 3:30 AM Local Time.
Once they’d gotten dressed appropriately (at least by Rukari’s standards), the team piled into the old Bricksley and headed off to their predetermined starting location. Rukari was behind the wheel, Kaylie was in the passenger side rear seat behind the radio stack, Malavera was stuck in the middle of the rear bench with a horrible double-scowl going on, Kayden took the driver’s side rear bench seat, and Kivenaal had called shotgun, so he got to enjoy lounging in the front passenger seat.
Kaylie sighed, not really enjoying the form-fitting leather outfit anywhere near as much as she knew others would enjoy seeing her in it. “Does it have to be this tight, Rukari?” she asked. At her hip, she was carrying a more-or-less typical set of tools, including two adjustable wrenches, a screwdriver with interchangeable bits, a utility knife, and, much to Kaylie’s amusement, a proper set of lock-picks.
“Is good leather armor. Best can do with no time,” Rukari replied. In similar contrast to Kaylie, he was wearing thick, blackened leather armor, backed with ring-mail, his heeled riding boots, and a magnificent royal purple cloak draped over his shoulders. At his left side, he carried a sword made of a mysterious black metal, showing signs that it had been quite heavily used, but well maintained. Sitting in the back bench seat with Kayden was his traditional murdaira, the Valraadi-made flintlock rifle-cannon designed to fire one-kilogram projectiles, or a full fist of lead shot (usually fairly close to a kilogram), typically used in naval battles, though also carried by some Valraadii who just wanted more firepower. Ironically, because it was muzzle-loaded, it ended up being completely legal for Rukari to own it in the United States.
Kayden, meanwhile, was dressed in his military armor, the sleek black composite panels looking relatively normal when compared to Kaylie and Rukari’s outfits. “Just be glad, sis, that you’re not like Malavera. Rukari took two hours trying to find something he would fit in.” Across Kayden’s back was his traditional warrior’s sword, a katana with a heating element designed to turn the edge white hot on demand. He only loosely held onto Rukari’s overgrown blunderbuss because he’d been told, in no uncertain terms that if he messed with it at all, Rukari would shoot him with it and see if he could heal from that.
Kivenaal was grinning, wearing leather pants, a heavy leather duster made for his unusual form, his large and comfortable cowboy boots, and a button-down shirt that was stuck somewhere between tan and dirt colored with a leather vest over it. All of this paled, however, in comparison to his gun belts, which held two holsters at each hip, along with a mess of .357 Magnum rounds for his modern replica Colt Peacemakers. He was comfortable with the single-action pistols, and in his messenger bag, he had several boxes of .357 Magnum cartridges just waiting to be loaded into his guns. Sure, he could handle Rukari’s favored flintlock cannon just fine, but he liked Earth’s pistols. “On the bright side, Kayden, we only have to deal with the moody Khalan for a few hours,” Kivenaal said. In his vest pocket, he was carrying several cigars, mostly because he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to get any while in Crugandr, and likewise, he carried a pipe in the inside pocket of his duster just in case he needed a good smoke.
Malavera scowled. “I can’t believe I have to wear a robe,” he grumbled. To be fair, he did stand out among the group, but then again, two heads and fur as bright-white as fresh-fallen snow also made him stand out, even before being put in a bright yellow satin robe. On the flip-side, he did appreciate that he could conceal a few weapons, one of which was his trusty double-barreled .45 Winchester Magnum pistol with two magazines, and the other was one of his traditional Khalan crystal knives with a wickedly-sharp blade, despite the translucent nature of it.
“You will blend in, no worry,” Rukari said, looking over at Malavera.
“Yes, and the three of you have armor, Kivenaal has no shame and would wear that get-up in public, and here I am with no armor and a robe as bright as the fucking sun,” Malavera growled.
“Is ring-mail in truck bed,” Rukari replied, “You could wear under robe, secret protection.”
Kayden, Kaylie, Rukari, Kivenaal, and Malavera parked the Bricksley Highwayman as neatly as they could in a sea of dirt and sand. They had less than 2 hours and 30 minutes to transform this empty sea of dirt into a proper starting line, as well as starting up the party, transforming Nothing-but-Dirt, Nevada into a decent starting area for the teams. They put up some basic awnings, set up a couple tents, and with 30 minutes to spare, started a campfire and got the charcoal grill going. While Malavera pulled off his robe, slipped into the leather and ring-mail that Rukari had gathered up for him, and put his robe back on over it, Kayden smiled, flipping over a burger as he watched Kivenaal slowly loading all four of his pistols. “How good are you with those things?” Kayden asked.
“Three time champion of our shooting club with pistols and moving targets. Helps that I don’t have a weak arm. Humans would call it ‘ambidextrous,’ but I don’t think that term works for me,” Kivenaal replied. He flipped the loading gate closed, set the hammer down gently, and grabbed his fourth gun.
Kaylie watched as Kivenaal half-cocked the hammer, flipped the loading gate open, and fed rounds into the cylinder one at a time. “It’s fascinating,” she said. “Both you and Rukari favor revolvers over semi-automatic pistols.”
“These jam less,” Kivenaal replied. “And before you mention rate of fire,” Kivenaal added, grabbing a loaded pistol and aiming it out into the empty desert, “I know a trick or two.” He cocked the hammer, pulled the trigger, and then ran his thumb and four fingers over the hammer with one of his left hands, emptying six rounds just as fast as anyone else could have fired them from a traditional pistol. “That took me a few years to learn, but fanning revolvers is fun. And now I’ve got to reload this one,” he said.
Malavera chuckled, watching Kivenaal ejecting spent cases and replacing them with fresh rounds. “He’s damn good with those things, too,” Malavera admitted.
“So, why is it that we each get our own tent?” Kaylie asked. “I mean, it’s nice having privacy, but that’s a lot of shit to pack up each morning.”
“Well, no one really wants to share a tent with Malavera,” Kivenaal replied.
“Why not?” Kaylie inquired.
“He bites,” Kivenaal said jokingly.
“I do not!” Malavera said.
“That one mission we went on-” Kivenaal started to say, just before Malavera clapped a huge hand over Kivenaal’s mouth. Kivenaal, in response, bit Malavera’s hand.
“OW!” Malavera yelled, pulling his hand away and shaking it, scowling.
“Go set up table,” Rukari said, handing Malavera a handful of spare registration forms and forms to fill out for vehicle inspections, as well as forms for renting CB radios in case they were needed. “Stop fighting with my brother.”
“Wasn’t a fight,” Kivenaal said, chuckling. “I’m not stupid enough to pick a fight with Malavera.”
Malavera chuckled as he set up the table with some spare registration forms, a handful of inspection stickers for the cars that passed, and his bulky 20-pound rugged military laptop, ready to help teams out if they found they were in a bit of a bind.
6:00 AM, the Shitbox Rally official Starting Party campsite.
Kayden smiled as he looked over what they had achieved in the span of a few short hours. There were tents for teams to rest in, awnings to protect teams from the heat while they worked on their cars, a charcoal grill with some burgers nearby for him to cook up for everyone, and Kaylie was busy working on getting their sound system going.
Kaylie swore under her breath as she tried, and failed badly, to tune in the radio Rukari had brought with them. “What the hell did you do to this thing, Rukari?” Kaylie grumbled.
Rukari shrugged. “Not me this time. Bought in pawn shop, I think you call it.”
Kaylie sighed, setting the seemingly broken radio down and shaking her head. “Please tell me it wasn’t expensive.”
“Three dollars,” Rukari said.
“At least it’s worth that much in spare parts,” Kaylie replied.
Kivenaal was keeping an eye on Jaden, Kaylie and Kayden’s older brother, who had taken their shuttle down to the campsite long enough to get the portal entrance set up.
“I don’t get why we’re using a wooden box with barn doors for a teleportation device,” Jaden grumbled.
“Because Rukari says we have to match like to like. Mirrors can’t go through doorways, doorways can’t go through mirrors. There’s no mirror on the other end big enough for cars to drive through,” Kivenaal replied.
Jaden nodded, then got the doorway in the spot that Kivenaal and Rukari had indicated by spray-painting an X on the ground. While Rukari knew that positioning wasn’t exactly important, Kivenaal didn’t, and he wasn’t taking any chances. Once the doorway was in place, Jaden stepped away and sent the shuttle back up. “I’ll stay and watch the party,” he said.
“Fine by me,” Kivenaal said, drawing his four revolvers and twirling them around his index fingers.
Rukari sat on a large, flat-ish stone and started carving a little cork ball for his murdaira, the traditional Valraadi rifle-cannon he had with him. He’d read somewhere in his research that it used to be traditional in racing to fire a starting pistol to announce the beginning of the race, and he remembered Valraadi sailing races being started by a murdaira full of cork-shot. In all things, tradition mattered, and so he was whittling away at this cork ball with his bronze-bladed hunting knife, smoking pipe in his mouth as he puffed away.
Malavera sat at the table, waiting for cars to arrive, both heads watching over the entirety of the camp. His laptop sat open and idle, he had a stack of registration forms ready to be filled out for last-minute arrivals, and, in the end, he felt he was ready for anything.
As the sun started to rise, the first arrival showed up in a most unusual way. First, one of the previously unoccupied tents flared up with a dark blue glow for just a few seconds, before an Aetheriian Jagrilan stepped out, her jet-black fur catching everyone’s attention for a moment. She walked over to the table and picked up one of the registration forms, studying it for a few seconds before smiling. A couple minutes later, a faded-red Yamada ASR-4 pulled up and parked next to the tent. Charlotte introduced herself to the confused people inside the car, explained there was a rally going on, and convinced the others to join in. Kaylie looked over to Charlotte and said, “Make sure that registration form gets filled out, please. Rukari’s in charge of making sure no one gets left behind in Crugandr, and Malavera will make sure any documents get filled out.” Soon after, everyone disappeared into the tent, where they stayed for a while, until Charlotte and Romulo got out with a plan in mind.
When Charlotte and Romulo approached Malavera to get some ‘proper’ plates for their car, and the necessary paperwork to avoid any unwanted traffic incidents, Malavera did what he knew best, making it appear as if the vehicle they were in had come from Mexico, passed through the border control in Texas, and that they were here in Nevada for a vacation.
After a while, the registration form was turned in and Team Blazers was officially part of this run. Malavera handed them a Shitbox Rally windshield sticker and told them, “This goes in the top passenger side corner of your windshield. Think of it like a badge of honor.” Malavera then read over their registration form and passed it over to Rukari, who grabbed a bit of copper from his pocket and made five more rings for the late entrants, enchanting them before returning to his careful whittling of the large ball of cork. These would be handed out, just like the rest, when the drivers’ meeting started.
Then, as the start of the first convoy of crap, it was Team Wayfarers in their rust-and-red-colored old IFAZ Bogatir flatbed, “Chernobog,” which they parked up next to the Bricksley Highwayman. Jill and Jack Willow-Wright hopped out of the truck, looked over the half-van, half-truck thing that Team Shift Happens had brought, then joined the members of Team Shift Happens out by the campfire. Malavera, likewise, wandered over and studied the large truck, chuckling as he saw the window stickers, ‘My silly husband thinks this is his truck,’ and ‘Magic Happens.’ Otherwise, Malavera thought it looked to be a good, sturdy work truck, if a little rusty, but he saw nothing about it that would prevent it from running in this rally, so he placed a Shitbox Rally sticker on the passenger side of the windshield, up in the top corner. Jill was carrying Rufus, the team’s mascot and her familiar, and ended up not too far away from Rukari near the campfire.
A few brief moments later, it was Team Gearknobs showing up in their white Hakaru Carica SE. Unlike Team Wayfarers, however, Andy Kauffman decided the best way to park the Hakaru was a violent handbrake turn, sliding through the dirt, and coming to a perfect stop just underneath one of the many sun-shade tents that had been set up to keep the desert sun away. He stepped out to a mix of applause and glares, with most of the people already there congratulating him on the bold entry, and Kayden being rather irritated that he got a dirt-shower because someone had to show off. Soon after, Jay Jarrett and Ed Sale climbed out of the little hatchback, both heading over to the other two vehicles there to get a good look at them. Likewise, Malavera looked over their hatchback, again seeing no reason it shouldn’t be part of this rally, although he suspected if they kept driving like that, there wouldn’t be much left of their car when all of this was over. He applied the Shitbox Rally sticker to the passenger side of their windshield, although he had to double check because the car was right-hand-drive.
When the blue Claussient 25 of Team Fallen Angels of the Past arrived, Kaylie waved them over to park underneath a sun-shade near where Malavera was sitting. She’d heard rumors that they might be in trouble, courtesy of Malavera and his hacking, and as a result, Kaylie was making sure that Maria and Lucia were as safe as they could be, in this case by putting the two of them close to the two-headed Khalan who was, to be fair, armed to the teeth. Kaylie knocked lightly on the window with her natural right hand, then said, “You two are safe with us. If at any time you feel you’re in danger, run toward me, my brother Kayden, Malavera, Kivenaal, or Rukari. Malavera’s the one with two heads, Rukari and Kivenaal are the ones that look like tiger demons. If you feel comfortable relaxing around the campfire, please, join us, but you don’t have to.” Like he’d done with the others, he looked over their car, decided it was worthy, and placed the sticker in the top corner of the windshield, giving the two ladies a thumbs-up afterward.
At the end of the first little convoy was Team Slow, their silver Schnell XL53 V8 gleaming in the desert sunrise, their arrival anything but slow as they rocketed past the campsite at first, turned around, and came back to park under the same sun-shade tent that the Hakaru was under. Matt and John both got out soon after, passed by the burger table, then sat near the campfire with the other teams, preparing their own oven and tents and settling in for a long day. Malavera looked over their car, then placed a Shitbox Rally sticker in the top passenger corner of the windshield, making sure it was out of the way.
A couple minutes passed before the next convoy of crap rolled in, with Team Oil Crisis leading the charge in their rust-and-green Union Magistrate V8, a rather big station wagon that rumbled into the campground, slowly circled the perimeter, and then finally parked on the other side of the Bricksley. The doors opened and five people got out along with their rottweiler, Gunther. Immediately, Owen was looking around to see where any potential danger would come from, while Aidan, Karl, Max, and Pavel headed to see what the other cars were like. Kayden, having wiped most of the dirt off of his armor, looked over to Owen and said, “You may as well try to relax. If anyone’s stupid enough to attack this camp, there’s enough firepower here to make an easy defense. Rukari’s got that damn cannon of his, Malavera’s armed with his pistol, I’ve got my blade, Kaylie’s left arm could kill a man through a concrete wall if she had a good reason to throw that punch, our brother, Jaden, he’s carrying a plasma pistol, and then there’s Kivenaal, Rukari’s brother. If someone attacks us, he could quite literally glass this place, he’s that strong with his fire magic, and that’s provided he doesn’t just unload on someone with his four pistols. And that’s just the people we know.”
A couple seconds later, once Owen had joined the rest of his team in looking at the cars and Malavera had window-stickered the Union Magistrate, a bright, atomic-bubblegum-pink van with the number 23 splashed across the sliding doors came into the camp, the raspy little four-cylinder buzzing like an angry hive of bees as Team Hillbilly Rollers prowled around looking for a good spot. They parked next to the Union Magistrate, where Janne and Andreas got out of the van first, having the grace of the door-seats, and headed straight for the middle of the camp. Marie, on the other hand, got out a few seconds later, and on the way to joining the others, grabbed one of the purple glass bottles out of the back of the Highwayman. Rukari looked her way, shook his head slightly, then said, “Next time, ask first.” Malavera, like he’d done many times already, placed the Shitbox Rally sticker on the windshield of the van, then dodged around Janne on his way back to his table.
Kaylie looked over at Janne, trying to make sense of the mess of 80’s electronics and duct tape he was wearing. She’d seen some rather interesting stuff made by Rukari, so it wasn’t entirely unusual to her, but to see an old portable gaming handheld crudely taped to a hard hat, with wires running haphazardly out of the cartridge port, over Janne’s shoulder and into his backpack, where an old TV aerial was poking back up out of the partially-closed zipper was definitely the sort of thing that she didn’t want others getting hurt with. “Hey, Janne, mind putting the safety hazard away before someone gets an antenna in their eye?” Kaylie asked, giving him a pointed look. Kivenaal looked to see what Janne was wearing, laughed, then cursed roughly in Valraad after dropping one of his revolvers in the sand. He scowled, then started cleaning up the dirtied nickel-chrome finish.
Then Team Witchlight arrived in their deep red EAAC Aphrodite Ishtar, parking under a sun-shade on the other side of the campfire from where most of the teams had parked. The doors opened, and immediately, Kayden could tell that these people were a little bit different. Elist was the first one out, and they gave a light smile to Kaylie, who waved back, only to grimace as she flashed herself with the sun’s reflection off of her chrome left hand. “I’m beginning to regret having it chromed,” Kaylie grumbled. Then Ambay climbed out of the back seat, sword strapped to his back, the only person currently there who looked like they might be mildly-enjoying the dry desert heat. Finne hopped out not long after, compound crossbow hanging by the sling over his shoulder, his eyes locked on the flintlock rifle-cannon resting next to Rukari before he made his way over to the campfire and making Ambay follow him. Finally, Kira slipped out of the car with vulpine grace, her unusual outfit getting a second glance from Malavera as she followed the rest of the group. Like the others, he couldn’t really see anything that would immediately keep this car from competing, and so, like each of the rest, he put a Shitbox Rally sticker up in the passenger side upper corner of the windshield.
After what seemed like a long while of waiting, another vehicle arrived, the screaming inline 4 of the Kontir Cunningham owned by Team Mravolinski-Chitco making itself heard as the huge truck swooped in, leaning ominously as it made the turn toward a parking spot thanks to the homemade camper shell. The first out of the truck was Mrdja, a trickle of sweat dripping out of his hair and landing on his glasses, which he hurriedly cleaned off. Then VerBanka got out of the passenger seat, looked around at the array of crappy vehicles there, and smiled. Pi Citko crawled out of the back of the truck, standing tall on her four legs as she held the door open for Klimentol and Cikota. They joined the others in standing near the truck in the hot, merciless desert sun while waiting for Aydar to get out of the front seat. With everyone grouped together, they wandered over to Malavera to get checked in. Kivenaal watched them for a moment after finishing his gun cleaning, picked up all four revolvers and twirled them around like an old Wild West gunslinger again, and holstered all four of them at once, while Malavera looked over their truck. Malavera shrugged off his yellow robe, handing it to Mrdja to hold for a moment, slid himself under the front of the truck, then lifted the whole front of the truck into the air as if he were a human bench-pressing a light amount of weight.
“Well, it’s a 4x4. Not much engine up here, but it got you here. I don’t see any glaring safety hazards, but I’d be careful,” Malavera said, setting the front axle back down and sliding back out from under the truck, “about your camper shell.” He grabbed his robe back from Mrdja and pulled it back on, then said, “It’s a little tall and a little wide. Keep an eye out for low bridges, trees, narrow paths, you may have to find another way around some places.” He handed Mrdja the Shitbox Rally sticker and told him, “That goes on the passenger side of your windshield, upper corner.”
Not long after the rather tall camper-truck made it into camp, they saw a Mara Kanyon approaching rapidly. Well, as rapidly as a Mara Kanyon could do, at least. Kivenaal looked up, then said, “Well, it’s official. We’ve got a proper shitbox rally going, someone turned up with a Mara.”
Just then, Arthur and Ford parked the Mara and, instead of looking at the cars, went straight for the campfire to chat with all of the interesting teams standing around. Malavera got up, carrying their registration form on a clipboard, and said, “Hey, you guys need a team name on here.”
“Oh, we’re QR-dash-47,” Ford said, perhaps a little bit too quickly, as Malavera gave him a suspicious look with both heads.
“Is there a meaning behind that, or are you playing mind games with me?” Malavera asked, glaring at Ford.
“It’s… Um… It’s short for Quick… Rally 47. Yeah, that’s it, Quick Rally 47,” Ford replied.
Malavera quickly wrote down their team name, never taking his left head’s eyes off of Ford. “Very well. Welcome to the rally. Perhaps, for the next one, remember to put your team name on the registration paperwork before you show up,” Malavera said, before handing them the official sticker. “That goes on the passenger side of your windshield, upper corner.”
Arthur, meanwhile, still hadn’t managed to close his mouth after Malavera’s question and Ford’s spontaneous reply. Kivenaal looked over to Arthur, reached into his messenger bag with his lower left hand, pulled out a brown paper bag, shook it lightly and held the open end in Arthur’s general direction. “Want an oven roasted scorpion? I made them last night, they’re quite good.” Kivenaal fished one of the small scorpions out of the bag and popped it into his mouth with a hearty crunch.
Then, with way more speed than they needed, Team Mrezhari arrived in their Dunav 3300, wrenched the wheel around, and slid the car violently across the sand-covered dirt, flinging dirt and sand across the camp, covering Kayden with dirt for the second time. “Hey, assholes! I’m making burgers over here and you’re throwing dirt! These ones are yours!” Kayden yelled, taking four dirt-dusted burgers off of the grill and putting them in buns. Four men got out of the car, wearing dark blue fire suits better suited to a race-track, black racing helmets with tinted visors kept closed so no one could see in, and their call-signs printed, military fighter-pilot style, across the forehead of their helmets. ‘Imp’ held up both of his hands, as if saying “Don’t shoot,” or “I surrender,” before tapping his visor, pointing to Kayden, and shaking his head.
“You didn’t see me?” Kayden asked.
‘Imp’ shook his head again.
“Clean your visor next time, then, or I’ll make you eat that helmet,” Kayden growled.
The other members of the team, ‘Hightower,’ ‘VIP,’ and ‘Doc,’ all looked around between each other and ‘Imp,’ shrugged, and settled around the camp, keeping a distance from the other teams.
Malavera, after checking out the Dunav, added the Shitbox Rally window sticker to the modified station wagon / SUV hybrid.
The last car arriving in the 6 AM hour was Team Jockey’s bright-yellow shoebox, the Yinzer MightyTiny. It pulled in and parked up next to the Mara, where Angela, Dave, Rita, and Darra all bailed out of it. Malavera was there in no time at all to look over the car, including nearly lifting the poor thing off of the ground to get a better look at the RWD subcompact’s driveline. After gently settling the car on the ground again, having tipped it up onto the rear wheels using the front bumper, Malavera planted the Shitbox Rally sticker on the passenger side of the windshield. “Good luck,” Malavera said.
(OOC: I’m only taking control of teams long enough to get them into the campsite. Also, while the race won’t start for another week, I figure interacting in the campsite gives people who are already in something to do. Also, if you’ve entered and you don’t see your car mentioned, please let me know. I’ll quickly put together a write-up after reviewing your car and team post.)
8 Likes
PART ONE: NEVADA
JDM Specialists
March 3rd, 2022
Dublin, Ireland
Local time: 4:20 PM
Weather: Sunny and Clear
The engine of the 1988 IVERA CVX Rollback truck rumbled into life, the black diesel smoke spewing into the air. Aidan let the engine run for a short while, before he turned it off and climbed down from the cab. He walked to the door of his shop but stopped short and turned to at the large tow truck. How he’d managed to buy that thing for 3300 Euros was beyond him, but the truck was solid and was one tough SOB and even though it leaked oil all over the parking lot, and was less economical than a Hummer H2 and it still got the job done. Then he was reminded of what they were doing, after seeing his luggage waiting in the building’s entry way.
He sighed and continued to look out the glass door off the building. Pavel had said would be there half an hour ago and yet there was no sign of him or his SFVM. A wrench clattered in the workshop bringing his attention to the two other professional dumbasses that made up Team Oil Crisis.
Owen and Max were loading up the supplies and their gear into the Magistrate wagon. The sound of the workshop door closing made Owen pause from what he was doing and look in the general direction of the door. Aidan was making his way towards them.
“You get everything loaded yet?”
Owen nodded. “Yup, just can’t seem to figure out how to get enough space for the dog and our giant friend.”
Chuckling, Aidan walked past him and proceeded to adjust the weapon crates and began stacking them on top of each other. “They can be stacked, mate. There’s a reason why we’ve got the high roof on this thing.”
Owen smiled. “Thanks for the help. Has Pavel come back yet?”
“No. I don’t know what’s taking him so long. He said he had a way for us to get to the United–” Aidan stopped as Pavel’s beige SFVM pulled into the parking lot. “Look who finally decided to show up.”
Pavel and Karl emerged from the vehicle, followed by Gunther. “Sorry to keep you waiting, Pavel encountered traffic jam. But, I’ve got a way for us to get to America.”
“Well, I hope its worth it if you’re this late. You’ve gotta learn to be a little quicker man.”
“Pavel knows.” Pavel said.
Karl stood up from disconnecting Gunther’s leash. “Commandant, You will be surprised to see what he’s got in mind for us.”
“I can’t wait. But now I need you guys to help out with loading the car onto the rollback over there.” He pointed to the white truck parked near the dumpsters. “We’ve got to leave at least before five if we want to make it to the airport on schedule.”
Everyone acknowledged with a simple nod and within the next 15 minutes they had finished packing up the cooler with their food, loaded the Magistrate onto the rollback, and were ready to go.
Aidan had opened up the gun crate containing the pistols and set it on on a workbench. “Right, you guys. Who’s got the Glock?”
“Me.” Karl said flatly.
Aidan tracked down the handgun, removed it and then handed it to Karl.
“Makarov?”
Pavel walked up and retrieved it from the box.
“USP?”
Owen and Max walked up and Aidan gave them the sleek pistols.
The only gun that was left in the crate was the brushed aluminum Desert Eagle.
Karl, Max, and Pavel were getting in the car while Owen remained in the shop, watching them get in.
When he spoke up the Irishman in his voice was replaced by an unknown accent. “Y’know, I’m still not sure if we should go through with this escapade. Are you sure its wise for us to blow our cover if we know that psychotic emperor is still alive?”
Aidan’s voice did the same. “Owen, listen to me. We are safe, there’s no way for him to know that we or our family fled here. If we’ve not been hunted down this whole time, its not likely we will be at all. Stop with this pathological fear getting killed.”
Owen sighed. “Alright, but if we all get massacred, don’t say I didn’t tell you so.”
“I have a feeling that Team Shift Happens are not what we think they are, but I’m certain they mean us no harm.”
“I hope so.”
He proceeded to walk towards the SFVM but tensed and turned around.
“Did you bring the wrenches?”
Aidan nodded. “All of them are in the back of the car under a blanket.”
The tension faded and Owen resumed his walk back to the car.
Dublin Airport
March 3rd, 2022
Dublin, Ireland
Local time: 4:50 PM
Weather: Sunny and Clear
---The rollback and the SFVM were waved through the security gate and were escorted by an airport police vehicle. The police car broke away and when Aidan returned his gaze to the tarmac ahead of him, he spotted the giant Ilyushin IL-76 sitting in front of the hangar in all its Soviet glory. Pavel had really out done himself.
“You never cease to amaze me Pavel.”
“Thank you, Capitan.”
“Does this thing have the range to get us to Vegas?”
“Da. Its only the car and our stuff and it does not weigh 20 tons. We’ll have enough fuel to get us to America. I’ve also called upon a tanker to help us refuel over Chicago.”
“Fair play, mate!”
Pavel beamed.
“Pavel has your back always.”
Ilyushin IL-76
March 3rd, 2022
Somewhere over the North Atlantic
Local time: Unknown
Weather: Unknown
The plane jolted. Aidan opened his eyes and looked around the car, everyone except for him was asleep and almost immediately he found he needed to go use the bathroom. But, on a plane with a darkened cargo hold it would certainly be interesting. Seeing as the plane was empty except for the Magistrate it was pretty easy to answer this call of nature. 2 minutes later he returned to the car and drifted off to sleep.
Las Vegas International Airport
March 4th, 2022
Las Vegas, Nevada
Local time: 3:30am
Weather: Clear
By the time the plane touched down in Vegas, the team was refreshed and ready to go. A two hour journey laid ahead of them and they hit the highway almost immediately. Pavel was still asleep in the back with Gunther, Max and Karl were studying a map of the area they were to meet the other rally participants and Owen was sitting in the passenger seat staring straight ahead. The night began to slowly fade into day as they continued.
The side of a remote mountain road, Nevada, USA
March 4th, 2022
Unknown, Nevada
Local time: 5:40am
Weather: Clear
The sun grew brighter and lit up the vast desert landscape with the morning growing stronger. Aidan was laying in a prone position with a pair of binoculars in hand, with Owen beside him. The Magistrate was parked nearby with the rest of the team waiting nearby.
“They’ve got a campsite or something down there, got a nice fire going.”
“What else ya see?” said Owen shielding his eyes from the sun.
“There’s an old truck down there and some tents, and some people or something mingling about. It’s all I can see right now. Are you satisfied with what you see Owen?”
Owen nodded. “We can go say hi, but be aware of your surroundings and the same goes for the rest of the guys.”
“Have we ever let you down?” Said Aidan
His response was met with an eye roll.
“Alright, lets get going.”
To Be Continued (I have no time to get to the next part, so that’s coming tomorrow)
4 Likes
Team hillbilly rollers
Part 0.5 - Interference problems
The van was heading towards the camp site after an unnecessarily long trip through the desert, since Janne did not teleport it to the location he first thought about.
M: “How about learning to navigate?”
J: “There is just fucking sand everywhere, try to do it better yourself!”
The fact that they had a battered Union Magistrate with auxiliary lights on the roof ahead of them indeed did confirm that they were on the right track. When the old wagon, looking like a world war 3 survivor, was signaling to turn towards a field where some other shitboxes was parked, they knew they had arrived.
J: “Look, we arrived, unlike the time when Marie traded the map for a bottle of cheap wine that tasted like window cleaner!”
M: “I prefer not to talk about it!”
When the van rolled into the campsite, Andreas was looking for a good spot to park, while taking a sneak peek at the other cars this far. He saw a red Yamada ASR-4 that almost looked too serious for this. A battered IFAZ Bogatir that he thought that Janne must love. A white Hakaru Carica that looked so innocent that one could start suspecting things. A blue Claussient 25, “Where did they find one in such a nice condition???”. Busy with looking for a spot to park, he noticed a silver Schnell XL53 when suddenly he managed to put the column mounted shifter in “low”, leading to an abrupt downshift with the engine screaming loudly.
J: " Don’t worry, it is the 4Z engine, it will cope with abuse!"
Once again, the easy path was to follow the Union Magistrate. Andreas reversed the van into the spot beside it, and the team was climbing out.
“Nice wagon”, Andreas said to team oil crisis when he noticed Marie stealing a bottle from the Bricksley belonging to the host.
A: “Marie lacks common sense sometimes. Here, take some packages of snus as a compensation. Where we come from, everyone is using it, just squeeze it to a ball and stuff it under your upper lip”, he said to Rukari.
Janne was grumbling at the suggestion to put away his teleporting equipment.
J: “Fine, but I have to turn it off first, or else it will suffer a meltdown!”
He grabbed the remote. “Let’s see. Rewind, rewind, eject?”. Nothing happened, except for the IFAZ Bogatir belonging to team Wayfarers starting to beep its horn.
“How about play, record, eject then?”, with the result being that the hazard flashers on Team fallen angels Claussient 25 started flashing.
“Ah, stupid me, stop, record, eject is of course the right sequence”, nothing happened except for the IFAZ still honking and the Claussient still flashing.
"But this SHOULD work, he said with some confusion. He opened the battery lid just to see this text on the batteries:
“Expires May 2002
Made in Archana”
“CRAP!”, he thought.
J: “HELLO, DOES ANYONE HAVE AAA BATTERIES???”
@TheYugo45GV
@BannedByAndroid
@Madrias
@Caligari
(Think that was all interactions, also, happy if ANY team will help with batteries)
3 Likes
Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Team data and prologue: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! - #30 by MrdjaNikolen
Gathering supplies and big changes: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! - #118 by MrdjaNikolen
Last part, which explains swapped characters and inclusion of Aydar: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! - #140 by MrdjaNikolen
Entering the camp, BDBF
Our team made very good progress, partially bcos Aydar had drove rather quickly and partially bcos we had low standards on what “good progress” means.
There were plans on how to introduce ourselves, especially with our beloved Pi.
Those plans had proven themselves unnecessary when we caught a glimpse of few strange figures.
Pi would prob not be too striking.
There is enough weird looking individuals around for her to fit right in.
One of those, two headed one, had introduced himself as Malavera and as one that made sure of legality of vehicle and paperwork.
If our group thought we have strongest fighters, that was quickly put aside when Malavera lifted front part of truck, aproximately 1155 kg, without much issue.
Aydar too was impressed by show of strength.
He is only member of our team that can do same.
After sticker was applied on designated place by Klimentol and truck was parked with roll net up and tailgate down, they decided to join cacofony of flashing and sounds near campfire caused by Janne from Team Hillbilly Rollers.
We concluded that noone of us had need for remote, so we had limited resources to help this inventor in distress.
These “limited resources” were attracted to Marie, mainly bcos of bottle.
-Can i get a sip?
Marie: Yes, but beware that i expect some alcohol beverage in return.
Or, ya know, something.
-Oh my, this is wonderful. Your supplier has some skills. Can i get some?
-“No”. Answer of, interestingly enough, maker of said moonshine-Rukari.
“Yes, we are hosts, but arent appreciative of ppl just taking stuff without asking…like she did.
If you ask nicely however, we can work something out.”
Klimentol: Chicota will likely ask for a sample. Im sure he would gladly decide to gather samples of all beverages in convoy just for fun of it.
There is reason we do have 152 liters of beer stacked in our vehicle in two tanks for exactly reason of not emptying other ppl of their alcohol.
Marie left bcos “she needed to pee”.
Team had settled down near campfire.
VerBanka decided to talk with some of other ppl around campfire and befriended Rufus.
I was happy to investigate other people near campfire, when i wasnt busy consuming burgers
Klimentol decided this is good time as ever to talk like a dog…with a dog. He was positively surprized by Gunther’s understanding of English, but decided they would communicate normally instead.
He also confirmed that Pavel was likely tallest human he encountered, to great pleasure of Pavel. Klimentol also speaks Russian, which also brought pleasure to Oil Crisis designated brute.
Pi decided that gesturing is way to go (she doesnt know English) until someone had idea of carrying some stuff with her.
Klimentol was stopped to translate to Pi what kind of job is in question, so he did just that.
One temporary attachment to Pi’s back later, she and said someone had went to work.
Andreas was wondering about whereabouts of Marie. Aydar and Chicota were kind enough to investigate, but first needed to get back to Kontir to get few things first.
Slurping from pickup bed noted they had unexpected visitor.
MARIE
She stopped slurping from one of tanks and realized she is likely busted. Glance confirmed.
“Oops. Look i really wanted to check it out…you really couldnt find better beer?
Also more convenient packaging could have been done”
Chicota: No about quality, we went for cheapest stuff we could find. Sometimes worry about packaging myself, but i can manage. Seems same can be said for you.
Aydar sniffed air with some worry.
“Have you by any chance, opened black tanks?”
(Note: Beer is in red tanks and thats what she was drinking through straw she obtained)
Marie: Ofc, really wanted to find beer. That was terrible btw. You could have found better tasting drink.
Aydar: You DRANK that?
Marie: Yes, took few sips. Might serve well enough when and if beer runs out, has that exotic punch to it.
Aydar: We really couldnt be held responsible for you getting poisoned by petrol, so we shall pass on that.
Marie: Petrol?
Chicota: Petrol indeed. Thats our spare fuel
(Sigh) Looks like we found you, just to grab few things and we are returning back to group.
You would be open to hang out anytime, but…maybe note down teammates and us beforehand.
Andreas was worried.
Story was told, Andreas wasnt really amused at first, but everyone had quite a few laughs afterwards.
Marie had got hold of moonshine she “got” from Team Shift Happens.
“This…much better stuff.”
Chicota: For such heavy drinkers as me, lot of stuff like our beer, is better. I doubt our friend would keep up with capacities that we can consume.
It is tho, quite good stuff.
If you want to know how to rate American petrol tho, feel free to ask expert.
Marie blushed. Cheap beer wasnt worth the risk she commited. This was enough risking for a good while.
Andreas: I could have guessed. Just needed some time to recall when this big dog mentioned your beer reserves. (Points at Klimentol, who shrugs in response). Also saw you taking time at truck and figured she was busted.
Chicota: I feel she could have drank to point of wasoing herself.
Andreas: SHE ALREADY DID. Look at our van
Its pink.
Chicota: Barbie van? Oh ye, i mean girls do be girls, she likely never really grew up…
Andreas: It was supposed to be black. Flat. Fucking. Black.
Chicota: Marie had other ideas.
Janne: Yes, to waste herself while painting it.
Marie: I really thought it was flat black.
Chicota: I dont know how these guys will handle your drinking problem. Im robot, i cant possibly get drunk even if i try. Getting that drunk in unknown is recipe for disaster.
Klimentol: Well i doubt you will have any problems dealing with her.
By you, i mean Chicota.
When she decides to visit bcos, ya know, she wants drink buddy and wouldnt mind cheap beer, you will be responsible for her.
Chicota: Ye, idea of someone making me company is appealing…prob enough to outweigh issues.
If she does take it too far and is at our truck, make sure to prepare a tent or unlock either door of van so i could put her in. (This was directed at her teammates; Chicota also decided to lift Marie and decided he can carry her easily).
…and this is story of how (likely) BDBF (Best Drinking Buddies Forever) had met.
Feel free to expand the duo with some other alcohol appreciators
@Knugcab is free to note few more things and further define these enjoyment moments.
Someone else could decide to employ Pi as either means to actually carry something or as kinda table that just so happens to walk on its own as help to their character or characters.
Pi was originally made to handle a cargo of about 50 kg (iirc thats about 110 pounds for Imperial enjoyers), but she likely can handle tad bit more (she was still able to properly run with cargo i mentioned, ofc said cargo was securely attached to her back)
Who this “someone else” is, aint my worry.
I hope i kinda stayed in character for other fellas
2 Likes
We have a few AAA batteries if you need em. They might last a bit long, but not for the full 8 weeks
AAA Batteries.
3 Likes
Well, they are just needed to shut off his teleporting unit since it seems to have interference problems with the electronics of the other cars, so that’s a deal I guess. (adding it in RP later probably)
3 Likes
The First Campsite, Nevada, USA
March 4th, 2022
Unknown, Nevada
Local time: 6:10am
Weather: Clear
Team info: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Entries Closed!) - #29 by TheYugo45GV
The winding road slowly straightened out as the Magistrate reached the flat part in the valley. Aidan was finishing off his sandwich, Karl was asleep again and Max was doing whiskey tasting with Pavel. Owen on the other hand was taking pictures of the desert landscape with his Nikon camera.
“You know, Nevada looks absolutely beautiful in the morning.” He said, Looking at the camera’s screen.
Aidan rolled the window down and let the fresh air enter the cabin. “Yeah, I think so too, there’s not a cloud in the sky and the sun is the absolute cherry on top.”
There was a clink of glass on glass that came from the back seat which prompted Aidan to look behind him.
“Max, don’t drink all the whiskey. We’ve only got two bottles and the last thing we need is you getting drunk.”
Max turned to face forward again. “Hey, its only the second glass I’ve had.”
“Might I remind you that drinking in the morning is the behaviour common of an alcoholic.”
“No shit.” said Max, rolling his eyes.
Chuckling, Aidan shook his head and continued looking at the road ahead of the car. “It’s okay to have one glass if you’re doing a tasting, just make sure you don’t hammer yourself before we get there. I don’t want–”
Pavel suddenly piped up from all the way in the back. “Capitan, you might want to have look in mirror.”
“Why’s… Oh my god.”
Almost immediately, Aidan began cracking up, while everyone in the back turned to look out the rear window to see what triggered the fit of laughter.
Owen was confused by this.
“Why are you laughing?” He spotted the pink van in the rear view mirror. “Oh, wait. Is it the pink van that’s behind us?”
Aidan was still smiling but still recovering from his laughter. “Yeah man. I think it’s an IP Freeway Star forward control van. 4 cylinder engine or something like that, makes it slow as hell and never sold in North America as far as I know.”
The group eventually reached the turn off for the meeting point which was a dirt road that led to the campsite. It took a minute to find an available parking space and Aidan considered parking on the other side of the camp ground but settled on the empty spot right next to the Bricksley van truck thing. The 4.5L V8 ran for a second and then was shut off, falling silent for the first time that morning. Once the engine was off, Aidan, Max, Karl, Pavel and Gunther got out of the car. One of the team members from the pink van complemented their car and Aidan gave him his thanks. Shortly later Owen emerged as his teammates walked over to the nearby camp fire. He stood for a moment and sharply inhaled, the cool dry desert air and the smell of the smoke filled him with a feeling of joy. Then the smell of something grilling on a BBQ filled his nostrils making him look around but a voice behind him made him tense and when he turned he saw a snow leopard looking being who also appeared to look like a tiger standing near a smoking grill and wiping some dirt off of the armour he or it was wearing.
“Yeah?” he asked the being.
“You should try to relax, my friend. If there’s anyone stupid enough to try and attack the camp, we’ll make short work of 'em.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to do all morning, it’s not easy. You sure there’s enough fire power here?”
“Yeah, enough to overpower even the most heavily armed attackers. My teammate, Rukari, over there, has got this cannon rifle, I’m uncertain as to what kind of ammo it takes. Malavera’s got a sidearm and so does my brother Jaden, I myself have a blade and our radio operator who’s also mine and Jaden’s sister, Kaylie, has a metal arm that can pulverise a concrete wall up to 10 inches thick.”
Owen leaned against the side of the Magistrate. “That’s reassuring to hear.”
“There’s also Kivenaal, Rukari’s brother. The guy could turn the sand beneath our feet into glass, that’s how strong he can make those magic flames of his. But if he’s not willing to go full on flamethrower, he’s got his revolvers.”
“Well, That is quite something.”
“Yup, and that’s just us. What have you brought just out of curiosity.”
“Me? M16 A2 with an M203 40mm grenade launcher mounted under the barrel, I don’t know what else we’ve brought.”
Kayden nodded. “I see, bullets and grenades could come in handy at some point.”
“True.” said Owen.
“I’ve got a question for you, I’ve not seen you and your friends over there,” Kayden pointed to the four guys gathered by the fire talking. “At any of the races my friends and I have taken part in and yet, you seem unfazed by the fact you’re talking to what is effectively a bipedal tiger. You want to tell me about that?”
Owen moved closer to Kayden and his grill and lowered his voice. “You might have guessed that the accent in my voice is Irish, right?”
Nodding, Kayden moved closer to hear Owen better. “Uh huh.”
“Well, none of us are really what we say we are.” Owen’s voice suddenly transitioned into a strangely familiar accent that Kayden recognised but couldn’t quite put his finger on. “I’m not Irish, nor is Aidan. Pavel isn’t Russian, Karl isn’t German, Max isn’t a New Zealander. Gunther is the only being that is real out of the six of us.”
“So what you’re saying is, you aren’t from Earth?” asked Kayden.
“No, none of us.”
“What are you then?”
“I’ll ask the guys when we can reveal everything. They said we were going to do that when we got here. Gather your team and meet us back here near our car. You guys’ll be in for a surprise.”
“I can’t wait.” Kayden smiled broadly. “Burger?”
“Nah, Maybe a bit later still am finishing off that pasta I ate on the way here. Thanks for asking though.” Owen said, the Irish accent returning to his voice.
“No problem.”
To Be Continued (Sorry, if I broke Kayden’s character in anyway.)
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OOC: @TheYugo45GV Nope, didn’t really break Kayden’s character at all. However, Jayde and Jaden are two separate people. Jaden is here right now, Jayde, the teammate, will be arriving after the driver’s meeting.
Okay, I’m going to address the elephant in the room before it becomes a problem, and that is taking control of characters from other teams.
Please, ask first. I know, it takes more time to write your posts if you have to ask everyone you’re trying to play with about how their characters should be handled, but it’s better than, perhaps, accidentally breaking character for someone else.
I understand, this is new for a lot of us to be doing these post-by-post role-playing games, and it’s easy to do. The only reason I am taking control at all is to get people into the camp, and the only other times I’ll take control will be to describe the stages.
This isn’t aimed at anyone, it’s just a general notice. I don’t want it getting out of hand and people getting angry with each other because someone keeps playing someone else’s characters, so I’m saying something early and explaining my part.
I’ll make another post when I’ve got either more interactions to react to, or when I get more cars / teams in.
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I see, I shall make the appropriate edits to fix my errors.
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Also, I was simply paraphrasing what you had Kayden say in what you wrote. From Owen’s perspective that is.
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No problem. I didn’t have a problem with what you did, actually, so I’m sorry if it felt like I was calling you out, because I wasn’t.
I figured I had to mention it at some point, and while I should have made a double-post, there’s a part of my mind that keeps telling me not to double-post, even when it may have been more appropriate.
Yeah, I guess it helps to let people know to ask before they do anything. Also, the updated version of the Magistrate is heading your way.
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its more than a week from my last update, gonna quickly finish this soon, and it will be short since i don’t really have the ideas to update the story
also, no changes from my team structure other than an updated car
@Knugcab Nope, as the team only has prepared enough batteries for use by their own team.
So, this is the news. On yesterday a stroke of unknown light has shone through the deserts near Vegas…rumors says that there are some people coming out of the portal which looked like two girls…
PROLOGUE
On the next day the trio went to a garage on an undisclosed location, which Carol has prepared some items for the race by purchasing items from a nearby shop.
Meanwhile, the other two girls are still fascinated about the things about the current age. Maria was looking at a smart speaker and tried to plug her iPod in but failed.
*M: “Whoa, is that some sort of a speaker? Why it looks weird? It’s…”
takes out iPod and wires
M: “Not working. Hope that Alexa (one of Maria’s friends) will not…”
Alexa: “How can I help you?”
M: “The fuck!?”
By the time Maria was fidding with the device, Carol came back from outside, while holding the keys for the Claussient.
C: “Lucia, Maria, Come outside.”
Both Maria and Lucia came outside and saw the car, which is now modifed with a roofrack. Carol also mentioned that the car is not really touched as she feared that spare parts for this car are non-existant on such vehicles, although she did inform them that the vehicle is pretty reliable.
With that done, the girls then started preparing for the race, which would happen in March 4th.
Fallen Angels of the Past
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TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
PART 0.6 - Can I play Tetris?
Janne heard someone shouting for him from the silver Schnell. Appearantly Team Slow had some, albeit marginally, better batteries than the ones Marie had put into her VCR remote. He presented himself as Janne from team Hillbilly Rollers, grabbed the batteries one of the team members gave him and told them that if they had troubles with something, they could just ask him for a favour in return.
He spotted a red EAAC Aphrodite Ishtar, which he was drooling a bit over, before he pushed the buttons on what once upon a time was a VCR remote in the right “Stop, record, eject” sequence, which silenced the horn of the IFAZ and shut down the hazard flashers on the Claussient. Shortly afterwards, the Game boy played a beeping sound and he unplugged something that once upon a time was the Ms. Pacman cartridge (but now was connected somehow to a backpack by something that was looking suspiciously alike something that once upon a time was a taillight harness from a Volvo 240) from the console, took off his hard hat and backpack, managed to scratch the paintjob on the van with the aerial without giving a damn, and put all the equipment in the back of the van.
Some other cars had arrived. One of them was a Kontir Cunningham and… oh please, no! It looked like if Marie already was getting in trouble with the team members, why was he everything but surprised? Since it looked like if Andreas was already there taking care of stuff, he didn’t care too much at the moment, though. Another one was a Mara Kanyon, which didn’t surprise him at all. “There is no shitbox race without a Mara”, he thought, and hoped that the car would hold up better than Marie’s archanan batteries had done. He didn’t have the time to think, before he had to jump to the side for a Dunav 3300 that seemed to enter the campsite at about Mach 2.
“HEY, WATCH OUT, HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU DRIVING?”, he was shouting to them, without too much hope that they would hear at all. After it came something that looked like if you had put wheels under Pacman, he didn’t have time to look too much at that, because he thought that it would be about time to check out what Marie was arguing with Team Mravolinski - Chitco about, but it seemed like they had settled their argument already. Janne presented himself to the team members and apologized for Marie’s behaviour. “Ehm…she is not the most…civilized, human being, or whatever she is…”
M: “HEY! I heard you.”
J: “I know and I don’t care!”
After some small chatting with Andreas, Marie and the members of Team Mravolinski - Chitco, Andreas had some ideas that Janne didn’t like very much.
A: “You know that teleporter stuff you made with that bunch of crappy electronics…”
M: “DON’T CALL MY VCR REMOTE CRAP!”
J: "Eh, I put it down 15 minutes ago, of course I remember it…
M: “Can I play Tetris?”
J: “NO!”
A: “It seems like it can disturb the other cars quite easily! Can we use it as a weap…”
J: "Forget it! To start with, this is not Deathrace 2000, we are here to have fun and so should the other teams too, we should not be assholes to them. Besides, all the interference problems are just bugs, I don’t know how they work and I would rather just get rid of them, they should not be there. We could as well fry our own ECU with it, and then we would be stuck in the middle of the desert.
M: “Please, can I play Tetris?”
J, A: “S - I - G - H !!!”
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