Sure, I can do that.
And, change complete. That was my bad, not thinking about 70’s cars having older engines and just getting a refresh now and then.
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Is there a limit for wheelbases or body types?
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Not really. I don’t have any of the open wheelers installed, but they’re not really in the spirit of this challenge, anyway.
Do you have any suggestions of fixtures I should add to my car to make it more off road oriented, and the links to mods in the Steam Workshop? Thanks.
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I haven’t used this one much, but it says “offroad” in the name, and it’s one of the modular kits like the modular headlights, so it should be good.
I can’t remember if it’s Drift’s Mod Pack or Drift’s Mod Pack 2 that has roof racks in it, but having extra cargo space is always good.
There’s a few good bumper stickers in this one.
As for other suggestions, well… I’ll get my team post up soon enough. It might help. But, I’d advise using some extra lights to make light-bars, pack in some fuel canisters, spare tires, lengthen some basic antennas into something that looks like CB aerials.
Don’t worry if you don’t want to go crazy with it, completely normal cars are fine, too.
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Team Shift Happens
Notes: Ages given in native years (Earth years). All ages are rounded to the nearest whole number. For reference, all characters, despite their age, are middle-aged for their kind. These guys haven’t aged since the 2016 challenge because of three reasons: One, I forgot to make them younger for 2016, and Two, they have a ship capable of faster-than-light travel, and Three, Rukari can walk the Rift (a gateway between worlds and universes, in layman’s terms), which means he can technically time-travel the team anywhere and any-when he wants.
Driver / Mechanic:
Rukari Khakrin-Veldrothan
-Race: Aetheriian Tiger Valraadi
-Age: 97 (148)
-Appearance: 7 feet, 9 inches tall (top of his head, 8 feet flat to the top of his horns), 450 pounds of muscle, has a tail as long as he is tall tipped with black, venomous quills, dark gray fur, black stripes, black lion’s mane, black ear-tufts, demon-like rearward-curved horns on his head, orange feline eyes, and the general appearance of a bipedal walking tiger demon.
-Past experience: An offroad junkyard rally (2016 Krongrad or Bust), A junkyard circuit race (24 hours of clunkers) and his time as Grundzahiri Vyrzadoburi (literally translated: “ground warriors” and “Violent Walkers of Death” in his native language. Think of them as special forces.)
The one responsible for picking out the car again, Rukari ended up earning his role as driver again for picking yet another stick-shift vehicle. As the literal son of the Valraadi Empress and as a member of the Grundzahiri Vyrzadoburi, he knows Crugandr almost as much as his homeland of Valraad.
With a little experience off-roading in Earth cars, he’s as comfortable as he’s going to get with the half-van, half-truck Bricksley Highwayman. He took a few lessons in preventative maintenance from Kaylie, so he’s hoping that this time, he won’t break the car.
Mechanic / Radio Operator:
Kaylie Lynn Grayson
-Race: Panthirian Tigrilan
-Age: 69 (102)
-Appearance: 6 feet, 5 inches tall, 175 pounds, athletic, with snow white fur and black stripes, a shiny chrome mechanical left arm with black painted stripes matching her natural pattern, and blue eyes, with the general appearance of a bipedal walking tigress.
-Past Experience: An off-road junkyard rally (2016 Krongrad or Bust), junkyard circuit race (24 hours of clunkers) and a junkyard road rally (Once More), alongside her time as a starship mechanic.
Kaylie’s had a few crash courses in maintaining internal-combustion cars, and she’s more confident than she used to be about fixing them. She doesn’t let her injury hold her back, having adapted remarkably well to her mechanical left arm, so much so that she’s nearly ambidextrous at this point.
While she’s not exactly glad that Rukari picked something the size of a cargo shuttle, she is glad that it’s something simple again. A nice Bricksley 427ci V8 with twin 4-barrel carburetors, and a 5 speed manual gearbox. The transfer case, however, is something new to her. Her well-worn copy of Carburetors for Dummies will likely get plenty of use again. She’s the one who insisted on having 4 CB radios installed so she could listen to several different drivers at once, even though only one of the team is capable of holding two conversations at once.
Field Medic / Radio Operator:
Kayden John Grayson
-Race: Panthirian Tigrilan
-Age: 69 (102)
-Appearance: 7 feet, 8 inches tall, 415 pounds of muscle, snow white fur and black stripes, blue eyes, and the general appearance of a bipedal walking tiger.
-Past Experience: A junkyard off-road rally, a junkyard circuit race and a junkyard road rally, plus his training as a Panthirian Warrior.
Kayden got a crash course in healing during the Krongrad or Bust rally, keeping up with not just Rukari’s surprisingly-destructive blood, but also several other minor injuries along the way. Rukari’s dark blue blood eats through chrome plated steel in a matter of seconds (technically, it rusts it very quickly), and as Kayden found out, it stains everything else a particularly hard-to-hide shade of cobalt blue. Of course, he also learned a bit about healing humans along the way, so if he can help it, there will be no deaths.
When he’s not busy trying to keep Rukari from rusting holes in their car or dealing with any other minor injuries, Kayden is going to be helping his sister with the radios.
Navigator / Driver:
Kivenaal Khakrin-Marinseien
-Race: Aetheriian Valraadi Mutant (Post Fall-of-Aetherii)
-Age: 40 (61)
-Appearance: 8 feet, 3 inches tall, 500 pounds of muscle, with two tails as long as he is tall, tipped with black, non-venomous quills, black fur, dark red stripes, black lion’s mane, no ear-tufts, demon-like rearward-curved horns on his head, vivid purple feline eyes, four arms, and the general appearance of a bipedal walking tiger demon.
-Past Experience: Survived his ship crashing to Earth in Alaska, three-time pistol champion with single-action revolvers, drives a lifted, off-road-converted muscle car with a 4-speed manual gearbox.
Kivenaal is Rukari’s adopted brother. As the Valraadii share no belief in half-siblings, you either are or you are not related, the span of years between them matters little. As far as Rukari is concerned, Kivenaal shares the bloodline of their father, even if he is quite far removed from said bloodline. Kivenaal witnessed the Fall-of-Aetherii during the Third (and final) War of Magic, and was actually captured by others of his kind to save his bloodline. To preserve him until the Valraadii had a new homeworld, Kivenaal was put into cryogenic suspension. Unfortunately, the ship he was on suffered a malfunction and crashed into Alaska, where it was found many years later. Kivenaal was revived, and quickly adapted to Earth society.
He’s very fond of revolvers, and because of his four arms, he can wield four of them at once. Amusingly enough, he’s trained at doing this enough that he can, in fact, fire all four of them rather accurately.
Like Rukari, Kivenaal has twin hearts and blue blood that rapidly oxidizes metals. He’s here because he won a challenge against Malavera regarding how many rattles they could each shoot off of rattlesnakes in one day. Malavera managed five. Kivenaal, on the other hand, managed 13.
Warlock / Field Repair Specialist:
Jayde Malradi
-Race: Aetheriian Leoni
-Age: 35 (53)
-Appearance: 8 feet, 5 inches tall, 375 pounds, heavy athletic, with dark brown fur, black mane, tail tuft, and ‘beard’, calm green feline eyes, a mechanical left leg starting mid thigh made from blackened boiler steel, brass, and wood accents, with the general appearance of a bipedal walking lion. Walks with a black walnut staff both for magic use and support. Has a really nasty looking bite scar on his left shoulder and a rather rough and ragged looking scar from his right cheek to his right temple, crossing his eye but not blinding him.
-Past Experience: Trained in magic at Tendragon Academy in Altherys, also trained with a Vipiri Storm-Rattler to focus his very-strong lightning magic. Went through Crugandr not long ago. Trained a little at Kamwerth Academy of the Arcane in Crugandr. Fought in the airship battle at Aray Bay, where he lost his left leg and got the nasty scar over his right eye.
Jayde stepped through the portal during the starting party before Rukari could get it open, and upon seeing the adventure unfolding in front of him, decided to join in. If he knew where they were going, however, he wouldn’t have joined them, as Crugandr was not a fun experience for him. He’s skilled with magic, and he’s been through quite a lot, so not much bothers him.
Navigator / Driver / Event Organizer:
Malavera Caller-of-the-Moons
-Race: Orthrian Khalan
-Age: 51 (357)
-Appearance: 7 feet, 11 inches tall (8 feet, 1 inch to the top of his ears), 500 pounds of broad-shouldered, twin-headed muscle, with pure white fur, cold amber eyes, and the general appearance of a two-headed, bipedal werewolf.
-Past Experience: Not crashing his moon-sized starship, “Forsaken Sky,” on the way to Earth, the 2016 Krongrad-or-Bust offroad rally
Malavera returns as Team Shift Happens’ two-headed navigator, having gained some practical experience in reading maps and using the GPS from the last run. However, where they’re going, there is no GPS. Only maps. And another world with, in his opinion, not enough gravity.
This time, Malavera has learned enough about driving a manual gearbox that he can manage as a driver if (when) Rukari or Kivenaal needs a break. And, much like before, he is an exile from his home planet, not generally friendly or outgoing, though he found out it’s not in his nature to leave someone stranded should they require help. He dislikes having his name shortened, but generally, it’s far safer to call him “Mal” than it is to call him “Vera.” The last person who called him Vera found out what it’s like to be kicked by someone who normally lives on a world with 3.5x Earth Gravity.
As the Event Organizer, however, he’s also the one responsible for making sure all teams are following the rules leading up to the event, and he’s also there to help last-minute arrivals with their registration forms. In the event that teams need legal forms filled out, Malavera will see to it that all of the appropriate paperwork has been filled and dated two weeks ago and passed the review.
As for where his cat, Spots is? Well, he’s being watched by the twins’ older brother, Jaden, who owed Malavera a big favor. Everyone agreed that while he was great for morale, they just didn’t want that much cat lounging around near the van. Truck. Whatever you call this thing.
The Car:
A 1970 Bricksley Highwayman Custom 427ci
In the 1970’s, Bricksley had noticed a growing trend of people buying pickup trucks, and also a trend of people buying vans. Naturally, they wanted in on that market, like any good American company would. They started with the Highwayman van, cut it just behind the rear set of passenger doors, and welded up a new cab end to close it all back up. Then, a pickup bed was bolted onto the rest of the van’s frame, giving it a rather… unique look.
They sold well at first, being one of the first examples of what we know today as a luxury pickup truck. Luxurious leather seats, powerful engine, good AM radio with a 45 RPM record player, plenty of room in the back seat, 4x4 as standard equipment from the factory, and power windows.
Unfortunately, it became painfully obvious that while the Highwayman certainly could do the job of a proper truck, the looks were a problem. It was a classic, “Either you love it, or you hate it” situation, and unfortunately, most people didn’t really love it.
It faced a strong opposition from people who wanted luxury vans, partially because of the lack of a back row, partially because the rear bench seat wasn’t quite big enough for some people, and partially because not having a large, enclosed back end meant it wasn’t quite the perfect shag van.
Likewise, it faced strong opposition from the truck guys as well, as people who wanted a work truck didn’t want the leather seats, as that was one more thing to worry about getting torn up or filthy. The plush carpeting absorbed mud and oil like nothing else, turning horrible in a matter of a few days at the job site. And, of course, it was built as a van first, which meant all the things that make a truck good came second to the things that make vans good.
This particular example was purchased for the cost of three bottles of high-proof moonshine. Where did it come from? The local trailer park.
The interior smells terrible. Someone clearly lived the party life in it, as there are many stains in the carpet. The driver’s seat is a little bit worn out, and the engine barely ran when Rukari showed up with it.
Modifications done:
Roof Rack (loaded with 20 5-gallon jugs of water)
Toolbox (Contains Metric and American wrenches, sockets, extensions, a breaker bar, a battery-powered reciprocating saw, and a battery powered angle grinder. Also, 12-volt cigarette-lighter-powered battery charger for the tools. Plus, one lunchbox full of miscellaneous license plates, one high-power railgun owned by Malavera, and 4 MP5-K submachine guns owned by Kivenaal)
Small push bar in front of bumper (For helping our friends?)
Off-road light bar with loudspeakers (To help us see in the dark, and to yell at other people in languages they don’t understand.)
Exhaust pipes in front of rear axle (because burning mud smells terrible, and the van already stinks.)
Twin four-barrel carburetors for proper fuel delivery.
Retuned the engine for kerosene because it had been tuned by an idiot before.
Ceiling pod with speakers and Kaylie’s custom-built Communications Center. (Contains: Public Address system, 4 CB radios, Signal Booster, Aux In jack, Microphone selector switch (PA, Radio A/B/C/D, Broadcast on ABCD), Equalizer, Phonograph pass-through to PA, Aux In pass-through to PA, Status Light Panel, Retracting cable for microphone.)
Air fresheners (because the truck reeks!)
Cargo:
Five leather tents in round containers
Two spare tires (One in bed, one in traditional mount under truck bed)
Two wooden cases carrying 6 bottles each of 190-proof lemon moonshine (12 bottles of the good stuff)
24 5-gallon cans of kerosene (because our fuel efficiency SUCKS!)
(Yeah, the interior shot I took with the revised one came out blurry. Not sure why that’s happening. Seriously, this wasn’t a problem a few updates ago.)
The Story:
Unlike my usual ones where reading it is optional, this will contain some information regarding the backstory of how this event was setup. Reading is still 100% optional, but recommended so that you get all the back-story behind this little bundle of mayhem.
Also unlike my usual introductions, I’m going to have to put the team’s background story in another post. Who else knew the forum had a 32,000 character limit? I’m nearly a thousand over that without breaking this up a bit!
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Team Shift Happens
The Story:
Midnight Local Time, Forsaken Sky, In Orbit around Earth
Malavera sighed, seeing Rukari and his adopted half-brother, Kivenaal, making another trip down to the shuttle bay. “And where are the two of you going?” Malavera asked, looking up from his laptop with both heads.
Kivenaal grinned, his black fur and red stripes shining in the artificial light, another Valraadi just having too much fun causing some chaos. “Rukari has an idea for something fun to do, I’m helping him out,” Kivenaal replied.
“Kiva, this plan doesn’t involve the pair of you scaring little old ladies in church again, does it? You two keep that up, you’re going to get far worse than doused in holy water again,” Malavera said.
“No, we plan to set up road rally,” Rukari said, chuckling. “Start in Nevada, the big desert, go somewhere, and return to the desert to finish.”
Malavera looked impressed for a moment. “I remember the last one was fun. Fine, go ahead and do it. But don’t break any laws getting things set up.”
As Rukari and Kiva vanished into the shuttle bay, Kayden and Kaylie wandered in. “What was all that about?” Kayden asked.
“Those two, apparently, are setting up a road rally,” Malavera replied. “So, Kaylie, if you’d make the registration forms, I’ll see to making sure they get distributed to interested parties.”
“That’s just a fancy way of saying you’re going to hack the planet again, isn’t it?” Kaylie said, putting her chrome left hand on her hip.
“If it works,” Malavera said, “then yes, I will do it again.”
4 AM Local Time, Nevada, Mojave Desert.
“You think this is going to work?” Kiva asked.
“Will be like how I arrived,” Rukari replied. “Just need to make a bigger gate.”
“So, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Rukari, but Earth isn’t exactly… Magical. I mean, sure, I can command fire to some extent, and I can make water explode, but I can’t open portals,” Kiva said.
“Yes, but I can open portals. I need your help only in energy at this side,” Rukari mentioned with a smile. “Two can do the work of one, long as one knows how to do this.”
Kiva sighed. “Then, let’s get started,” he said.
Within the hour, Rukari had assembled the basic frame of the portal using mundane materials, mostly PVC plastic piping and a few sandbags to hold it up. The hard part was stretching the reflective, shiny mirror-finished plastic across the huge frame without tearing it, and even that didn’t take long. Rukari smiled, placed a hand on Kiva’s shoulder, and touched the reflective surface with his other hand. The taut plastic rippled like water after a stone had been tossed into it. For a moment, all it did was reflect the emptiness of the Mojave Desert back at them. Then, after fogging up like a mirror in the bathroom, the fog cleared and the two of them stared into another world. Tall green trees, cobblestone streets, wooden and stone buildings with thatched rooftops, with a port full of wooden ships, masts reaching tall into the sky. Then, as Rukari pulled his hand away from the portal frame, it stayed open for a few precious minutes, a glimpse into a world that wasn’t Earth. Then, just like when the portal had been opened, the mirror fogged up, and when it cleared back out, the desert was all they could see.
“Where was that?” Kiva asked.
“Crugandr. Port city of Jaduvira,” Rukari replied.
“Did I really see wooden sailing ships at the docks?”
“Yes,” Rukari said, grinning.
“This is wild,” Kiva said, staring at his reflection in the plastic mirror, where only a few precious minutes before, a whole new world had opened up before his eyes. “And you’re planning on what, racing through there? Through Aetherii long before the Fall?”
“Yes. Will be a grand adventure,” Rukari said.
“So… How do we get started?” Kiva asked. “I mean, I’d love to go with, but Mal’s going to need someone to watch his ship, and you know he’s going to ask me to do that.”
“Weh nekasi. Will be no problem,” Rukari said. “Kaylie will write most of invitation, I write some of it. Malavera sends invitation around world to right people.”
With a bit of careful effort, the two of them disassembled their mirror portal, packing everything away carefully. “So, when you do this for a few dozen people, will it be this easy?” Kiva asked.
“Neyi. Will need gateway first. Open a portal to Nelehn Ragrund first as road to Crugandr. Just not as impressive as opening portal straight to Crugandr,” Rukari said.
“Nelehn Ragrund… Shadow forbidden-ground?” Kiva asked. “That doesn’t sound like something we should be traveling through.”
“Is safe. I walked from there to here. For a time, Nelehn Ragrund was closed to us, forbidden to us. That is where name comes from. Before, was Nehlenraad. Land of Shadows.”
The two of them got back in the shuttle, marked the location on the shuttle’s map to return there, and raced back up to Forsaken Sky.
8:45 AM Local Time, Forsaken Sky.
Kaylie saved the document after a final check to make sure everything looked okay. Inside, she was quite excited about the idea of another road rally, even if she didn’t quite know all the details yet. She knew it was starting in the Mojave Desert, and knew it would end in the Mojave Desert, but the rest of the trip was up to Rukari to plan out.
She smiled, though, as she was the one who had written in that it would be done in old junk. Sure, she had given a good range from 1970 up to 2009, but she’d seen plenty of cars turning into old rust-piles even in that newer range. Plus, fighting electrical gremlins was part of the fun with modern cars. And while she understood how turbochargers were supposed to make cars better, she ended up writing it into the list that turbos were not allowed, mostly because she wanted to enforce a real, proper shit-box experience. No fun turbo kick, no improvement to fuel efficiency or power, just pure boredom.
When Kiva and Rukari returned, she handed the tablet over to Rukari to look over the details.
“Might need to tell people, buy cars that run on crap fuel,” Rukari said, smiling.
“Low quality fuel. Why do I get the feeling this is going to be like 2016 all over again? Shit cars, shit fuel, shit maintenance, and shit roads,” Kaylie said, shaking her head. “I’ll make the adjustment, but wow, we’re going to have to tune whatever we get because no one around here makes anything that runs on something that bad.”
“Hey, Kaylie, I’ve got a possible lead on a car,” Kayden said. “1998 Sinistra Serenade.”
“Take Rukari with you, he might be able to get you a good deal on it. We’ll meet the two of you at the Lair.”
4:34 PM Local Time, a trailer park in Nevada.
Kayden and Rukari both got out of the back of the taxi, looking over at the mess of trailer homes, several of which had some cars that definitely would be good candidates if the Sinistra was worse than they expected. When they saw the Sinistra Serenade, the two of them shared a glance before Kayden said, “You know Mal would kill us if we made him squeeze into a midsize.”
“Yi, he would. We get other car,” Rukari said in response. “Like that,” he then added, pointing to a 1970 Bricksley Highwayman.
Kayden stared at the half-van, half-truck hybrid with a look of confusion, then shrugged. “Well, there’s a “For Sale” sign in the window. Let’s go knock on the door,” Kayden said.
Rukari made sure his messenger bag was over his shoulder properly, resting at his left hip while the strap settled over his right shoulder, then followed Kayden up to the door. Kayden knocked and within a few minutes, a balding, half-drunk man stepped into view wearing nothing more than badly-stained heart-printed white boxer shorts. “Yesh?” he slurred, and it took everything Rukari had to not recoil back from the booze fumes on the man’s breath.
“We’re here about truck for sale,” Rukari said, knowing Kayden was holding his breath to avoid inhaling any more high-proof emissions from this man.
“Huh? Oh! Yesh, I have,” the man paused a moment, hiccuped, swayed unsteadily, and belched before continuing, “I have a truck for shale. Can’t drive no more cuz I gots me a ticket fer driving drunk, sho I have to shell it. Tuned it meself to run on heating oil cuz I ain’t pay no road tax on it.”
“What’s the price?” Rukari asked.
“Used to be three-shixty, but,” the man stopped to belch again, and Kayden gave a foul grimace, “I done drank all me beer.”
Rukari saw an opportunity and opened up his bag, pulling out three purple-stained-glass bottles of high-proof Valraadi moonshine. “Drink with care and it may last you good long while,” Rukari said.
“Ne’r sheen bottlesh that color bef’re. What ish it?”
“Moonshine. I make it myself,” Rukari said.
The man smiled, then walked to the wall and grabbed a set of keys, handing them to Rukari. “I’s gonna get drunk tonight!” the man said, grabbing the three bottles and heading back inside.
“Did we just get a truck for three bottles of moonshine?” Kayden asked, glad that the smelly drunk was now inside and the air was clearing.
“Yes, I believe we did,” Rukari said, closing up his messenger bag and going over to check out the truck. He admired the light blue paint with dark blue trim and the nearly-white top of the cab, looked in the bed and was relieved to see that, unlike many of the other vehicles here, it was free of trash, then unlocked the door and climbed into the cab. Kayden got in on the other side and smiled.
“Leather seats. Nice,” Kayden said. “Oh, and they’re actually comfortable. Funny contraption on the dash, though,” he added, flipping the lid open on the dash-mounted phonograph and moving the turntable back and forth with a finger.
“Malavera might know more,” Rukari said, before cranking over the engine. Eight cylinders of aged fury barked to life, and Rukari smiled. “Perfect sound,” he said, before stepping on the clutch, putting the gearbox into first gear, making sure the transfer case was in 2H, and left the trailer park in a hurry.
“So, the Lair, then?” Kayden asked.
“Kaylie did say meet them there,” Rukari answered. “Engine not good, though. No power.”
8:31 PM Local Time, Nevada, a rented warehouse known to the team as “The Lair.”
Kaylie watched as Kayden and Rukari showed up at the Lair not in the expected Sinistra Serenade, but some half-truck, half-van behemoth of a road vehicle. “Is this some kind of joke?” Kaylie asked.
“Neyi. Better deal on truck than car,” Rukari said.
“Really? You guys found a better deal than the Sinistra?”
“Three bottles of moonshine. That’s what he paid for this thing,” Kayden said, hopping out of the passenger seat.
There was a quiet clank and clatter from the far corner of the Lair as Malavera set down the pair of heavy diesel crankshafts he’d been using as dumbbells before he walked over to take a look at the truck.
“So, half van, half truck,” Malavera said, walking around the Bricksley. “It’s a Bricksley, at least, so the engine should be fairly reliable.” Malavera looked in through the window, then sighed. “Really, Rukari? You had to get another manual?”
“They got this thing so cheaply that it could have come with a CVT and I wouldn’t care,” Kaylie said.
Malavera grimaced, then took another look. “This thing has four-wheel-drive? Useful. Tires need replacing, though. But I think we can work with this truck.” He smiled as he walked around the back of the truck, inspecting the box. “Very little rust. Not bad for an old Bricksley Highwayman. And, because this has the 427ci full-bore V8, I can tell this is the 1970 model. 1971 got the same block, but cylinder sleeved to 400ci, and 1973, well… Yeah, that was a dark time for Bricksley. Only way to get a Highwayman between 1973 and 1977 was to get the 353ci inline six.”
Rukari shut down the engine, then got out of the truck. Almost immediately after, Malavera climbed up into the cab and looked around. “Okay, this is better than I thought. Leather bench seats and a phonograph, this is the 427ci Custom. Top trim model of the Highwayman. A luxury truck before luxury trucks were ever a thing,” Malavera said.
“And tuned by idiot,” Rukari mentioned. “Engine needs work.”
Kaylie pulled the hood release, reached past Malavera, and cranked over the V8. Immediately, she knew something was just not quite right with the way it sounded. She checked the single four-barrel carburetor and sighed. “She’s not getting enough fuel,” Kaylie said. “And by how easy it started, someone’s absolutely fucked up the timing.”
“So, what does it need?” Kayden asked.
“A dual-carburetor setup would give it enough fuel for it to run on kerosene or heating oil, despite being a spark-ignition engine. Also means I’d be able to fix the timing. Also, what the hell is that smell!?” Kaylie said, glaring at the truck.
“I’m not sure, but given the stains in the carpet, I don’t think we want to know. I think it was a party van at some point,” Kayden replied.
“Right. I’ll go find an intake manifold for a Bricksley Big-Block V8, you go find an air-freshener to kill that stink,” Kaylie replied.
2 days later, 9:01 AM to 10:44 PM, The Lair.
The Bricksley was in a little better shape after two days of basic work. Kaylie’s junkyard twin-four-barrel manifold from a 1977 Bricksley Grand Warden, the 427 Pressurized Dual-Quad trim specifically, fixed the Highwayman’s choked intake and let the fuel flow. A dozen “Peppermint Trees” had been unwrapped and thrown haphazardly around the interior, trying their best to kill the smell. The exhaust system had been cut down and re-routed to dump in front of the rear wheels instead of behind them, in an attempt to reduce the amount of dirt and mud being baked on the exhaust tips. A toolbox had been added to the truck bed after a rather healthy coat of Gecko spray-on truck bed-liner had been applied to the bed.
Now, they faced the real challenge, which was to take their Bricksley Highwayman and turn it from a luxury road-cruiser into a worthy off-roader.
Which meant, of course, everyone had a job to do.
Rukari was building the roof rack out of some bent steel rods and some wooden strips, working quite quickly as Malavera had already bent the rods for Rukari, so all he had to do was weld them together with the oxy-acetylene torch.
Malavera, meanwhile, was fabricating the old-school wooden stake-side bed extension rails out of scrap steel and a couple of broken down pallets for wood. This was less to keep their supplies in the bed and more to act as a convenient tie-down point if they needed to throw more things in the back. He buzzed some of the paint off of the truck’s bed-sides with a wire wheel, welded the uprights to the truck box using two modified welding helmets and the arc welder, drilled the holes, fogged them with Bricksley’s “Bolt-from-the-Blue” paint, and once the paint was dry, bolted on the wooden planks.
Kayden was busy with assembling the do-it-yourself off-road light-bar kit. For the most part, he found it easy, but then there were a few planned deviations he had to work around. Kaylie wanted him to leave off the outer two light pods out of six in favor of some speaker brackets, and that meant he had to redo half of the wiring harness. Things were going well until he decided to test if the lights worked by connecting them to a spare car battery, hitting himself square in the face with all eight off-road lights. After blindly yanking the wire off of the battery, Kayden set his kit back on the table and groaned, trying to rub the spots out of his eyes.
Kaylie, however, had the hardest task of all of them, because she had to make her rear-seat communications center. The ceiling pod was already installed, originally designed to have a space cut out for a 7 inch CRT screen, but instead, Kaylie was using the space to cram in the public address system, four separate CB radios with separate illegal power amplifiers, two large speakers for both audio playback and to hear CB communications, an aux cable port for piping music directly into the PA system, an equalizer for the PA system, a metric crap-ton of switches, and, for good measure and simplifying her use of the system, a six-position selector switch to control which system was hooked into the solitary microphone.
But, by the end of the day, the Bricksley Highwayman now had a functional roof rack, some powerful off-road lights on the roof, a stake-side bed with plenty of cargo room, and Kaylie’s masterpiece of electronic communications equipment.
It was agreed that they’d all get some rest, then get the rest of the supplies in the morning.
30 Days before Shitbox Rally 2022 begins, 9:09 AM, the Lair
That morning, everyone knew what they needed to do. Supplies were the key thing today to get the Bricksley going. Rukari headed out to get the new All-Terrain tires put on, replacing the worn out, cracked, and dry-rotted 1970’s era cross-ply medium road compounds. Sure, they were cheap tires, but given what he knew they’d be going through, all-terrain tires just made sense. After he got new tires, he sat down and drew up a rough map of Crugandr from memory, plotted their course along the roads starting in Jaduvira and ending in Tapari while passing by or through every small town or village along the way, and then used the warehouse copy machine to make several copies.
Malavera finished fabricating the front bumper’s new nudge bar, complete with rubber blocks on it so if they had to use it, they weren’t just going to tear up someone else’s paint. With that done, he started work on the invitations, his fingers flying across the keyboard.
Kivenaal fabricated the radiator-protecting bash bar and front light arrangement, and once he’d finished with that, headed to a military surplus store in order to pick up five tents for the team so that no one had to sleep in the truck.
Kaylie finished wiring up the Communications Center, double-checked Kayden’s wiring for the light-bar and roof speakers, and found 20 white-painted metal canisters to put on the roof as water tanks.
Kayden came back from a quick shopping run with 24 brilliant blue plastic-coated metal canisters designed (and even properly labeled) for carrying kerosene. When Rukari brought the Highwayman back with the new tires on it, plus a new tire on the under-bed spare, and a second spare tossed in the bed, everyone had a collective sigh of relief. After a quick purchase of some tents, a double-check to make sure the twin 15 gallon tanks were working, and Kaylie testing out their communications gear, things were about ready to get exciting.
30 days before Shitbox Rally 2022 begins, 12:00 PM, the Lair.
Malavera smiled as he hit send, mass-mailing his invite to everyone he thought was relevant. People who notoriously ran junkyard bashes. People who had raced against Team Shift Happens or Team Racing Stripes. People who simply had an arrest in their record for illegal street racing.
The message was short (by Malavera’s standards), sweet, and to the point.
February 1, 2022
Some of you may have already heard the rumors of an event on the horizon. Some of you may have never heard of us before, others have faced us head-to-head on tracks, on roads, and in the dirt. This time, we return the favor. Join us, Team Shift Happens, in the Shitbox Rally of 2022.
What will you need? A car, suitable for off-road use, costing your team no more than $2,000. If you’re not from the United States, buy a car for the equivalent of that currency. Modify it, build it up to be able to take on anything. Pack supplies for a long trip. Bring extra fuel, extra water, bring food unless you’re willing to try exotic local cuisine. You’ll need a team of at least two and no more than six people. Make sure someone’s at least competent with reading a map and using a compass, because GPS does not work where you’ll be going. Make sure to bring tents, because while we will be stopping near towns, you may not want to sleep there.
So, what’s with the secrecy, you may ask? Let’s just say that the fun is in not knowing where you’re going. If I told you, you’d know exactly how to build your cars up, and that just wouldn’t be fun, now would it?
If you’re interested, join us on March 4, 2022 at the included coordinates. There, you’ll find our little Shitbox Rally Starting Party. From 0600 hours to 1800 hours (6:00 AM to 6:00 PM for those not versed in 24 hour time), we’ll be celebrating the crazy decision to race in clapped out crap boxes. If you’re not here by 1830 (6:30 PM) and on the starting line, you will miss the start of the race. If that happens, you’ll have exactly 5 minutes to make it past the starting line to join the others, or you will not be competing. We can’t hold the door open forever, so to speak, so be on time.
Your friends and competitors,
Team Shift Happens.
(Malavera Caller-of-the-Moons, Rukari Khakrin-Veldrothan, Kaylie Grayson, Kayden Grayson)
For nearly 4 hours, the internet dragged to a crawl as the message was passed around, as forums and social media sites became flooded with people telling others about the crazy message, as people downloaded programs to disinfect systems that were otherwise clean, and as people tried desperately to find any further clues as to what was going on. People spied on the coordinates, seeing nothing remarkable, just an empty patch of hard packed dirt and sand. Others raided cheap used car websites, often crashing servers from the sudden and unexpected load. Cars that had been up for sale for the last 7 months with no interest suddenly had dozens of inquisitive potential buyers calling at all hours of the day.
Meanwhile, Rukari was busy in his own way, focusing his limited access to magic into making enchanted rings, designed to let the wearers speak the language of the world they would soon be going through. They were relatively plain copper bands, but he hoped by keeping them simple, it would prevent fights over who got the nice ones.
Kayden and Kaylie were busy investigating the big stack of 45 RPM records that Malavera had picked up at some point, curious as to how the sound was captured in the grooves. They found the phonograph absolutely fascinating, listening to various different 70’s, 80’s and even some 90’s hits with the Bricksley’s dashboard-mounted direct-drive turntable.
Team Shift Happens was ready for the race, but for the first time, every single member was nervous. While they’d participated in a few races by now, this was the first time they were hosting one.
1 Like
Have you considered using one of the used car calculators that have been en vogue for some of the recent challenges instead of having the - pretty generous - $30,000 allowance to make a shitbox?
1 Like
How open to, uh, “proper” fantasy peoples is this challenge going be? I’m floating some interesting ideas based on a few concepts around in the ol’ dome, and some of them might get a bit funky without some “approval” beforehand from o games master.
2 Likes
@AndiD I had thought about it, but I don’t have one, and on this first Shitbox Rally, I didn’t really want to restrict creativity too much.
Think of it as this: What reasons would any car have for being $30,000 an untold number of years ago, but now it’s only worth $2,000? Was it an unpopular model? Are there known mechanical issues? Was it a luxury car once upon a time, but now the interior looks like it’s gone through a shredder? Plus, no one says the whole budget has to be used. Yes, I used all of it in my team’s car, but I also tested the mentioned Sinistra Serenade, which came up a good deal cheaper.
This is me testing the waters with a challenge, and I have two options, realistically speaking, to find out what improvements to make for the next one. I can either “open season” the car selection, like I have for this one, or I could restrict it down to where it’s not fun anymore by making very restrictive rules regarding what is considered a shitbox. No disrespect to restrictive rule-sets, but I’d rather find out early on what doesn’t work, rather than making everyone build something for $12,000 AMU with a very tight engineering budget.
Given the two choices, I chose “fun” to start with. I can always make the next one tougher.
@Fayeding_Spray Given how often I’ve dropped crazy into people’s “normal” challenges, I’d say go for it. The world of Aetherii (which has the four Island Nations, plus a few other lands) is home to shape-shifters, elves by a different name, the lost city of Atlantis, the Valraadii who have been detailed a bit in other posts, humans with magic and without magic, dwarves and goblins, and even a race of half-snake people known as the Vipiri. Also, vampires.
If you want to float some interesting ideas around, go for it. I really won’t mind, and that just adds to the fun when I do each update if I’ve got a cast of interesting characters.
2 Likes
Hey, it me, I can’t wait!
The Witchlight
By Decree of Consortium Master Janni'karian,
The Group of the Witchlight are to be enabled and supplied
to compete for the growth and love
of the Wildnight Consortium
Who is "The Witchlight?"
Well, honestly, “The Witchlight” are a group of 4 adventurers who got permission from their boss to not adventure for a few months. They pooled together some money, and decided a multiple thousand mile long journey sounded like a good idea. Especially to get away from their usual bullshit. That shit is hard. Fucking Dragons.
Driver
Elist Northwund
Ancestry: Tiefling Human
Class: Aberrant Bloodline Sorcerer
Pronoun: They/Them (Female Presenting)
Appearance: Purple-ish skin, some nice Ram-like horns on the side of their head, long tail, a bit of what you’d call a “modern” wizard robe. Oh, yeah, back length black hair, straight. Tall too, six foot three inches, horns excluded.
Elist is an oddity. They are very obviously demon blooded. They look like a humanoid demon. But they’re also lovely, friendly, and doesn’t want their friends to be hurt. They basically act as the driving force for The Witchlight. By that sense of Irony, they’re the only one who learned how to drive stick, so they also got stuck as the driver. They’re fine, they’re fine, definitely fine.
Navigator
Finne Stonewall
Ancestry: Dwarf.
Class: Ranger
Pronoun: He/Him
Appearance: Short and Stocky, like a dwarf should be. Crotch Length beard, a very light blonde in colour. No hair on their head. Very obvious compound Crossbow. Pretty medium weight leather armour, but weaved with Kevlar, because modern. He’s tall for a dwarf, at 4ft 7in
Finne is a hunter. He’s always been good at hunting, at tracking, at navigating. He was really the only one anyone trusted. Outwardly Gruff, but to the rest of the witchlight, he’s fiercely protective, and very communicative. His soldier background, and hunting background definitely won’t detract from this adventure.
Healer
Kira Hakoke
Ancestry: Kitsune
Class: Cleric
Pronoun: She/Her
Appearance: In her fox form, she has beautiful and well maintained red fox patterned fur with a pair of tails. In her hidden form, she appears as a Human, with long orange hair, and curious amber eyes. She wears traditional vestments of Daikitsu, her patron deity, despite the incredibly outdated design. Stands about 5ft 5in
Kira is a devout servant of the Kitsune god Daikitsu, and her work as the main healer and Cleric of the Witchlight very much is beneficial. She doesn’t like showing her fox form to others often, but will do so in more substantial circumstances, such as the start of the event, or the end. She can be rather brash, but always intends to keep her own values, and her parties values at hand.
"Bodyguard"
Ambay
Ancestry: Lizardfolk
Class: Barbarian
Pronouns: He/They
Appearance: I mean, it’s easiest to just say he’s a more humanoid shaped Bipedal Komodo Dragon than try describe a lizard man. Also about 7 and a half feet tall.
Ambay is a man who fights. Ambay likes fighting. Ambay doesn’t enjoy the idea of a “road trip.” Ambay only agreed because he was allowed to be the bodyguard. He’s a cold person (ha) and really just doesn’t talk to strangers. Usually just glares and if that doesn’t work, his trusty Greatsword will do fine.
Witchy Whip
A 1970s Luxury sedan was not the first choice, nor was it the second, or even third. Unfortunately everything else that was found didn’t fit Ambay. (Well, option two also didn’t fit everyone - Finne) This is a 1976 EAAC Aphrodite Ishtar. The absolute top spec trim of the largest normal car made by EAAC. Unfortunately, they were complex and expensive for the time. The absolutely atrocious fuel economy in 1976 very much did not agree with the continued existence of this iteration of the Aphrodite, so it was introduced in 76 and dead by 78.
This one is running worse because it has to run on concentrated horse piss, but what’re you gonna do. The 6.7 V8 is not the most cheerful about this turn, either, but it’s easy to drive. and really, it’s super important that it fits everyone. Having a 7 and a half foot tall bag of scales in the team really limits the options.
We found this one for maybe half a share over 1500 gold. Reason being is, well, these things are collectors items, but no collectors want them… It’s real fucking weird. I mean, like a clean one goes for like 10000 gold, but the Consortium only gave us 2000 gold. So we got, well, we got one. It just… it works weirdly. Ambay is convinced it’s haunted. Kira said something about what it was used for being against her god’s code. I think it was used to haul dead bodies. At least from what Finne could gather from the stains in the trunk. Thought it’d be more fun to spend our remaining money on making it look new, than what we expect others to do, because difference is cool, and might even… well, kill us?
5 Likes
Good mix of characters. And, given that you went with some above human height, I, too, will put my characters up to their actual sizes and not the adjusted human ones.
Also, I can already see potential RP moments between certain characters, which is really good.
1 Like
Would V12 Luxobarges break the entire scoring system?
@interior Technically, they shouldn’t, but this scoring system is somewhat new, so I can’t say for certain. It’s never been tested outside of a couple of ‘normal’ designs.
Once again, we will meet TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS, the pride of the Torne river valley, north-east Sweden…
ANDREAS KERO
Age: 32
Interests: Drinking moonshine, motorsports
Personal vehicles: 1992 Arlington Archprince Touring ZS, 1969 AEKI 200 folkrace car.
Personal motto: “Just floor it, you can always check what you managed to hit in the rear view mirror!”
The skilled driver of the bunch. At least according to himself. And that’s probably not a lie. Sometimes he actually has managed to complete a race at the folkrace track with his Aeki 200 without the whole car breaking apart.
JANNE MÄKITALO
Age: 44
Interests: Drinking moonshine, making inventions that is completely useless out of scrap he finds in his backyard.
Personal vehicles: 1967 Saarland Kardinal, 1969 IP Icarus diesel wagon, 1997 Boulder L150 Limited, and too many tractors, dirtbikes, mopeds, snowmobiles, lawnmowers and forklifts to even count.
Personal motto: “If it can’t be fixed with duct tape, it’s broken for real”.
The skilled mechanic of the bunch. He can repair anything you put in his hands. Just don’t be so sure about when you will get it back.
MARIE PESULA
Age: 37
Interests: Drinking moonshine, drinking beer, drinking cheap wine, drinking aftershave, drinking washer fluid, drinking lots of other suspect stuff, tattoos, obscure erotic roleplays.
Personal vehicles: 1962 Dodge Dart, 2002 Saarland Ambrosia Pilger V6
The one with the eye for aesthetics. She can make anything look better with a brush in her hand. At least until she tries to eat the paint. And don’t disagree on that point, she will get a little bit…violent, then.
Part 0.0 - A prologue to the prologue
(To understand this story better, it should be noted that Janne is working as a mechanic at Rautilas Bil AB, which is the local IP/Ardent/Suzume dealership - the three brands sharing the same dealerships and importer in Sweden is a lore thing from when Vic still was at this board)
The tractor-like burbling from the low-revving 2.4 litre four comes to an abrupt end when Janne turns off the white van outside Andreas’ place, where of course Marie also is at the moment, because how would it even become a story without that lucky coincidence? He opens the door and steps out.
JANNE: “So, what do you think about my new ride?”
ANDREAS: “Ah, you bought the old service van from your work. Nice. I guess you hardly had to pay anything.”
JANNE: “Correct, a bargain considering that it is a 2007 model after all.”
ANDREAS: “2007? Man, they really must have been producing them for, like, forever…”
JANNE: “Yup, for 21 years, between 1989 and 2010.”
MARIE: “So, any plans for it?”
J: “I don’t really know, to be honest. I was thinking I could use it as a work vehicle, but why? I have my Boulder after all.”
M: “We could always drive it like maniacs in a gravel pit until it dies and put the film on youtube.”
J: "Oh, come on, is that the most original thing you can come up with?
M: “If I would tell you about my most original stuff you would be scared for life.”
J: “Please let us keep this discussion car related, thanks!”
A: “Maybe this invite I got in the mailbox is a bit more interesting…”
OOC: Why this vehicle?
In 2007, the second generation IP Freeway Star was really a tried and true van, since it had been in production since 1989. Dated, but trusty. For a late 00s vehicle this would be among the simplest possible to fix - especially for an IP mechanic like Janne. There is some reasons (other than slightly better stats) why a late example seemed like a logical vehicle:
- A 1989 van sold in Sweden would probably not have had A/C fitted, while a 2007 model probably would have had a simple and primitive system. In that heat, you will appreciate A/C when you have crammed three people into a small van.
- The same goes for ABS, for somewhat better driveability.
- It could probably have been in service until now at the local IP dealership where he is working.
Will it fit all three of them? Yes, barely, since the cargo version has a bench seat up front. It will also be able to carry lots of necessary stuff in the rear.
Which driveline does it have? The 2.4 litre 4-cylinder with a 106 hp (before tuned for kerosene) power output. Does it shake? Yes. Does it burble? Yes. Does it rev? Hell no. Mated to the 4-speed auto since this challenge ain’t about speed anyway. And even better, it is the AWD version! After all, it has been in use in Northern Sweden, so…
Since it is a post 1998 model, it is a facelift! What does it mean? Composite headlights instead of sealed beams, clear indicators instead of amber, ABS and colour coded plastic parts instead of black. Cool! Or maybe not.
Why is it cheap? Because it was a dated penalty box of a van already when new, while competitors were offering more modern designs. Because the seat is dirty after its use as a “shop truck” - nothing that a dixie flag blanket can’t fix I guess. Because the handle on the left side sliding door has stopped working - no big deal for the use it will see now. Because it has its fair share of dents, scratches, rust, wear and tear, like any old work vehicle.
Anything unclear?
TO BE CONTINUED…
5 Likes
Disclaimer: Let me know if this is too weird a background (or does not make sense at all), but I somehow felt like breaking out my long-dormant non-skills as a sci-fi writer again…
Studies in Quantum Xenoanthropology, Ep. 1:
“Director, I believe we have an new opportunity!”
Director T’Mir looked up from her console and saw the fresh face of Analyst Bennie eagerly standing between the automatic doors to her office at the heart of the Galactic Quantum Xenoanthropology Institute space station, orbiting an outer planet in the binary star system of Gamma Cephei.
“What is it, Bennie?”
“You remember that we were looking for an inconspicuous way to learn more about the civilizations on Aetherii in quantum reality C388-47?”
“Of course I do.” T’Mir became slightly annoyed but took great care to hide this from Bennie. Of course she would be aware of all planned and ongoing observation projects in the set of quantum realities (or multiverses) assigned to her. T’Mir was a high-ranking scientist in charge of overseeing her part of the institute’s ongoing mission to learn more about the cultural development of species on different worlds and universes (or quantum realities, QR for short).
“A group of Aetheriians wants to hold a multispecies - what they call - car rally through several Aetherii kingdoms, but they actually want to start on Sol III and use portals to go across the worlds. Our analysis indicates that this might be a rare point of confluence in this QR and therefore a unique opportunity for a polyxenoanthropological study.”
T’Mir frowned. “What exactly is a ‘carrally’?” She took great care to pronounce this unknown word and almost got it right the first try.
Bennie explained: “All car rally participants are expected to use their own four-wheeled combustion engine-driven vehicle - of a decidedly low quality in this case - to go from an indicated point of departure to an indicated point of arrival along a predefined route and through several stages. This means that the whole field of participants will reunite after each stage and face many individual and collective unpredictable environmental, social and technical challenges.”
“Sol III? So there are humans involved?”
“Yes, and the stages also go through the human kingdoms on Aetherii. But we believe there will be also Aetheriian Tiger Valraadis, Panthirian Tigrilans, Orthrian Khalan, Tieflings and Kitsune in the starter field. I don’t think such combinations have ever been studied before in xenoanthropology.”
T’Mir considered the situation outlined by Bennie for a while. “So we might be able to exploit the unique quantum constant around humans and their fascination with certain engine-driven vehicles to send in a team of our human xenoanthropologists as rally participants”, she thought aloud and turned to Bennie again. “Have Mr. McMillan report to me once he and his team are back from his studies of the extended steam age on Sol III in QR C388-42. I am sure he will appreciate a change of scenery with less soot and huffing noises.”
To be continued…
3 Likes
Team Oil Crisis
Driver/Team Captain: Aidan “Commando” O’Reilly
Appearance: 6’2” 262lbs. Above Average build, brown eyes, and blonde hair kept in the fauxhawk style. Clean shaven
Age: 42
Nationality: Irish (North Dublin) (Race: White Male)
Profile: Aidan is the leader of the group and the man who suggested the group partake in this challenge and was a commandant in the Irish army. Being the best driver (Owen being the second best) in the group he’s also proclaimed that he’s the primary driver, much to Owen’s dismay. His status as team captain is determined by the fact he has the highest military rank, but no one complained about this as they think he’s perfect candidate for such a position
Secondary driver/Navigator: Owen “Calculator” Bell
Appearance: 6’ and a half, 267lbs. Above average build, Hazel eyes and ginger hair styled in a comb over. Bearded.
Age: 48
Nationality: Irish (South Dublin) (Race: White Male)
Profile: Owen Bell is the team’s navigator. Having served in the Irish Garda’s ERU and later as a Lieutenant in the Irish Naval Service and a navigation officer on the LÉ Samuel Beckett, he knows how to navigate to anywhere just by using the stars and constellations. Most of the time he prefers to use a map and a compass instead. Owen is also a skilled mathematician and can precisely calculate almost anything, but the only thing he really uses his math skills for is to calculate average speed, acceleration and fuel economy.
Medic: Karl “Doc” Jager
Age: 37
Nationality: German (Race: White Male)
Appearance: 6’3” 255lbs. Intimidating build, brown eyes. Black hair with blonde hair. Clean shaven
Profile: Karl’s role in the group is to provide first aid should anyone get hurt. Being a paramedic for the German ambulance service, Karl had seen all kinds of events that harmed the citizens of Germany. From something as simple as a slip and fall to a giant pile up on the Autobahn, he was always one of the first on scene. His love of ambulances and fascination with first aid and emergency services are what enticed him to proceed with his dream. Karl is the only one on the team that is married and has a child, both of which are back in his hometown of Berlin.
Survival Expert: Max “Bushwhacker” Oswald
Appearance: 5’9” 200lbs. Average Build. Hazel eyes, Black hair. Clean shaven
Age: 39
Nationality: New Zealand/Australian (Race: White Male)
Profile: Max joined the team for no other reason than to spend more time with his friends. He is a former New Zealand police officer and currently an armature survival expert. In his childhood, Max always enjoyed camping in his backyard whenever he could, and pretended to go on adventures in the depths of the Amazon or the desolate expanses of the Outback. As he got older he found that exploring nature and trying to survive with what he could find would allow him to learn about himself and nature. Max is very close to his friends and he’d do anything to make sure they are safe before himself.
Weapons Expert: Pavel “Pavel” Kuzmin
Appearance: 6’6” 305lbs. Extremely Strong Build, Blue eyes, bald with stubble.
Age: 53
Nationality: Russian
Profile: Pavel is the team’s weapons expert and muscle man. He is the strongest, tallest and most intimidating of the group. Formerly Spetsnaz, Pavel knows his way around a vast variety of weapons and combat tactics. Pavel might tower over others at 6’6” and weigh 305lbs, but his personality does not match his size. He enjoys gardening and spending time in his backyard paradise that he created. On the other hand, he cares a lot about his health. Pavel regularly works out, goes jogging, and tends to stay away from junk food. Although he’s not against enjoying a cheeseburger once in a while.
Mascot: Gunther the Rottweiler.
Age: 3
Profile: Gunther is Karl’s dog that he takes with him on hikes. Gunther is extremely intelligent for his kind as he can understand English and knows how to communicate though he can’t speak since he’s a dog. He’s average weight for his species weighing 55kg.
ProPrologue
Aidan's family mechanic shop (JDM Specialists Ireland)
Dublin, Ireland
Local time: 6:20 PM
Weather: Pouring Rain
Aidan shut the lights off so that his friends could see projector screen better.
“I am telling you, Owen. This seems like a legit email, there’s nothing to suspect we’ll be killed”
Owen crossed his arms and shook his head. “ave you lost your mind? It’s a google maps pin dropped in the middle of nowhere. I’m not willing to believe it for a second.”
Rolling his eyes, Aidan sighed. “How about you let yerself hear me out, before ya start bringing up your grievances.”
Doc and Bushwhacker entered the room.
“Eyy, What’s goin’ on in 'ere fellas?” Bushwhacker asked.
“Aidan’s being a gullible moron. Again.” said Owen, sitting himself in a chair nearby.
Aidan ignored him putting up his inbox with the email open up on the screen.
“I am not. Shall we?”
When no one responded he began.
“So, while we were all dithering about. I got this email sent from these people called ‘Team Shift Happens’ and it appears they are hosting a rally of some sort involving shitty cars.”
Bushwhacker leaned forward in his chair. “That sounds fun.”
Aidan nodded. “I agree, but Owen here thinks everyone’s out to get him.”
“I’m not?”
Just then Pavel came in through the door.
“Pavel was needed. He is here.” He said with a heavy Russian accent.
Aidan smiled. “Very good. I was just telling our friends about a rally of some sort.”
“Rally? You have attention of Pavel.”
“Bang on, have a seat.”
Pavel obeyed and sat at the head of the table. Then, Aidan resumed speaking.
“So, these Shift Happens guys are hosting this challenge and they want us to buy a car that does good off road and it can’t cost us more than two grand in American money. We have until March First to find a car, modify it, and then get it to Nevada–”
“Where’s this rally going to.” Owen interrupted.
“That’s unknown. Probably through Nevada and then some mystery location.”
“All the more reason not to go.”
Aidan sighed exasperatedly. “You aren’t going to die, get that through that haymes of that thick head of yours. If they try to kill us, we’ve got guns and we can easily leg it outta there.”
Owen stood up and began to leave. “Why you have to be such a chancer, Eh? I don’t want to die because of yer messing about.”
“Ok, Owen, please. I’ll let you be the navigator.”
Stopping short of the door and sharply inhaling, he turned around. “Will you let me drive?”
Aidan Nodded. “Sure, we can do it in shifts and in between fuel stops.”
“I’ll consider it. Could you forward me the email so I can see what we’re doing since you’ve talked me into going.”
“I’ll do that. We can’t go without you.”
One week later
Dublin, Ireland
Local Time: 10:15 AM
Weather: Sunny and Clear
The group rendezvoused back at the meeting room with their findings. Aidan had done the business of contacting the so called Shift Happens crew, Pavel had spoken to his contact about procuring weapons for them, Bushwhacker and Calculator had been assigned to find a car and Doc was acquiring medical supplies and first aid kits for them to bring with them on the rally.
Aidan sat at his office desk in the shop office, he had spent the past 20 minutes talking to the crew and asking them why the rally was starting in the Nevada desert. Calculator and Bushwhacker walked in as Aidan set the receiver down.
“What’s the matter?” asked Bushwhacker.
“Nothing Much, just got off the phone with those Shift Happens people and they said we are welcome to join in.”
“We’ve got more good news.” Calculator said. “I’ve compiled a list of cars we can get for under two grand. You want to have a look?”
“Sure.”
The three then gathered around Calculator’s Ipad and began to look through the list.
Among the options were, a 1980 Union Atomos, A 1979 IVERA 122 GTB, A 1993 SFVM Dunav, and an '01 Yugo GV.
They came to the first car.
“Which one of you wise guys thought a five door hatchback was gonna work?”
Calculator and Bushwhacker looked at each other.
“I dunno. Don’t look at me.”
Second car.
“I heard these IVERA’s are quite good.” Said Bushwhacker. “They are safe, reliable and–”
Calculator flicked him. “It doesn’t have four wheel drive ya dunce.”
“Oh. There’s no need to flick me, y’know?”
The third car came up followed by the fourth one.
All three looked at each other again. Aidan just scrolled away
“Yeah, No.”
They kept scrolling until a matte olive drab station wagon came up for 1640 Euros.
“Interesting… What’s the story with this one?” Aidan asked.
Calculator proceeded to explain.
“I found this one. Union Motors Magistrate V8 Vanguard Safari 4x4. I know, that’s a mouthful. But, I think it’s perfect. It’s got a raised roof. Already comes with a spare tire, which probably might need to be replaced and best of all, four wheel drive.”
“Why does it look so… new?”
“Seller says he bought it from some dude who tried restoring it. Only selling it cause he doesn’t have a use for it.”
“Ah, I see. Is it the super bad engine?”
“D’ya mean its got the Narrowblock?”
This confused Aidan.
“What? Oh, right. The one that’s stupidly complicated and eats head gaskets?”
Calculator nodded.
“Yeah, but, not all of em do that on both banks. There’s also a 5.5 version that’s for sale but it was too expensive.”
“How do you…”
“We have to import it from Australia.”
Aidan nodded. “Oh. I guess this is the best we can do with our budget.”
Calculator shut the Ipad off. “This one came from South Africa and someone imported it to Ireland, It’s over in Galway. I called the guy and he said we can come by sometime later today.”
“Wonderful, Ask him if he’s gonna be able to see us at 12. Let’s get in the car lads!”
The three men exited the shop and got into Aidan’s '08 Union Tornado and headed off to Galway.
Two Hours Later
Galway, County Galway, Ireland.
Local time: 12:49 PM
Weather: Sunny and Clear
The Magistrate was sitting in the driveway in all it’s American glory. This would be the ideal car, Big V8, floaty suspension and loads o’ room.
Aidan walked up to the front door and knocked. A man came to the door.
“You here for the car?”
Aidan nodded. “Yup. We got the money ready.”
The man smiled. “Great, this thing’s been clutterin’ up me driveway for the past month. I’m glad to see it go.”
Calculator and Bushwhacker waited in the car, while the man showed Aidan around the Magistrate.
“You think Aidan’s happy that we’re goin’ on this rally?” Bushwhacker asked.
“I think he is, just look at him. He’s grinnin’ from ear to ear.”
Chuckling, Bushwhacker laid against the back seat of the Tornado.
“I think we made a wise choice. This estate that we’re buying looks quite good. Oh, and here he comes.”
Aidan came up to the window.
“How on Earth did you two get this good a deal?”
Bewilderment hit both men in the car.
“What?”
“Yeah, The interior isn’t torn up too much, just a little muddy and dusty from the South African climate and get this, the heater and the A/C works too.”
Bushwhacker poked his head through the gap between the seats.
“Holy shit!”
“I’m as shocked as you two are.”
The Car
1979 Union Motors Magistrate V8 Vanguard Safari 4x4
Purchased from Galway Ireland. Modified extensively in Dublin, Ireland at JDM Specialists.
List of modifications:
Additional 10 gallon auxiliary fuel tank along side the standard 30 gallon. (Both are separate, the filler neck for the number two fuel tank is under the hood.)
Hydropneumatic suspension (Aftermarket modification, came with the car)
Raised Roof (Standard on this model)
All Terrain Tires (Brand new, replaced the old ones. Still standard for the car though)
Roof Rack came with the car. Two powerful spotlights sourced from an old Sisu Nasu are installed on a custom lightbar.
Replaced missing headlight.
Decals
Engine retuned to run on Kerosene (Thanks to Owen’s maths and Aidan’s mechanic skills and making the exhaust system dual piped it still makes 185HP)
Fixed the door locks and replaced the battery.
Off road bash plate to reinforce the skid tray.
Loudspeaker
Car tent (Factory option, similar to how a Pontiac Aztek has one)
Supplies:
Two 5 gallon jugs of water one for coolant the other for the drivers and the dog.
4 cans of engine oil.
Spare headgaskets, fuel lines, filters, air filters, cabin air filters.
Ammunition. 40 boxes (9mm, .45 ACP, .44 Magnum, 12 gauge shotgun shells, 7.62x51mm, 5.56mm, 7.62x39mm)
Luggage.
Max’s tent.
Traction mats made from old wood
6 cans of Kerosene. Several water canteens and bottles.
Spare radiators on the rack.
TO BE CONTINUED (Yes I know, its long, It won’t be this long when the challenge starts.)
3 Likes
Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Members
Notes
First three members are all humans or human-based ( 2) comes to mind) and they are white
Expect that i might use either first person or third person view while talking in these posts; im both one of members of group and one willing to type all this IRL.
Last three have surname Mravolinski Loojoephantom
Everyone knows Serbian language and everyone but 2) know English
And yes, we know no stupid terms such as dog years- everyone has age expressed in human years.
Everyone is generally friendly and somewhat safe to approach. They tend to stick together
1) Mrdja
Role: Navigator, Supplies
Age: 23y
So im supposed to describe myself?
Fine.
There are glasses with rectangular frame as well, accessory needed because of my bad sight.
Its fair to say im kinda chubby atm: would be perfectly fine if im like 75-80 kg, but im not of such mass, as you could see from pic directly below paragraph. Pic also notes my height.
I have brown eyes and dark brown hair.
Some of that might be muscle but its mostly fat tissue making me wide.
Im not much of fighter or somewhat strong individual either, especially not in presence of our two youngest members.
I studied electronics through high school and uni, but im not good at repairing anything.
Serbian is my maternal language and obviously im fluent in English, but i also had some Russian some 8-12y ago - not much stayed tho.
Im also car enthusiast, which might not help too much here, but its there to be mentioned
Ironically, i drove car with stick two times in my life and on straight road.
Doesnt really help that i can be considered kinda picky in terms of food, this might be issue, but this adventure surely would be exciting.
Since i tend to sweat a lot, lower temperatures of environment would be prefered over hotter ones.
Ofc my knowledge of event as member of group would be limited on data that would be gathered through interaction with other participants, so my IRL knowledge about it shouldnt worry anyone.
Will try not breaking fourth wall either
2) Pi Čitko (Pee Chitco)
Roles: Potential winch, living shield and supplies
Age: 23
It would be difficult to explain as to how this individual is technically based on 1) even tho their appearance, knowledge, skills and potential usefulness would differ a lot, but trust me on that one
She is 1.73m tall, has length of about a meter and weighs 88kg
She can be described as mix of two humans that resembles centaurs in terms of build, done in very Frankenstein-like way: to rear end of first body is attached second one, being parralel to the ground. Rear legs are under 90 degrees to that and are of same length as front ones.
Frankenstein feel extends to the fact she is full of scars all over the body.
She only speaks Serbian, but doesnt know how to read or write in any language. Being ironically named after math constant, despite knowing only addition and subtraction in 0-10 range.
Death is just part of life here and she isnt going to be scared of being rebuilt, or scared of anything for that matter.
Generally care-free and more than ready to sacrifice herself for someone else.
3) VerBanka
Age: 23y, but younger than 1) and 2)
Roles: Navigator, Supplies
Appearance:
She is nice looking girl of slim build, although feel free to take it with doubt, since she is Mrdja’s highschool crush, so opinion might be biased.
Before you ask, feelings arent mutual, but this is fine on both sides, friendship exists.
Has brown hair and brown eyes.
As for knowledge and skills she brings into the group, there is nothing that would be really unique to her and definitely considered useful in this instance, its just nice having her there. 
Language skills are similar to mine and for same languages too.
She is Mechanical Engineering student, but i doubt that would help here.
4) Klimentol Stariji (Climentol Senior)
Age: 13
Role: Yes (Fighter, Mechanic, Driver etc.)
He prefers to act like a human and usually is 2m tall, standing on his rear legs.
Mass is 100kg.
Most versatile member of group after Aydar, being very skilled driver and can repair both electro-mechanical stuff on one hand and living beings (humans, has some experience with dogs) on the other.
Tbf he would usually rely on abundant resources and high technology items, which may be an issue - he do be adaptable tho.
Speaks Swedish, German, English and Russian.
By extracting urine under high pressure, he can fly and cut opponents in half
Has superior fighting experience to previously mentioned
5) Čikota Stariji (Chicota Senior)
Age: 11
Roles: Driver, Mechanic, Fighter etc.
Measurements: 2m tall, 100kg mass
Android robot, appearance of 80kg young adult human, can shapeshift and divide to get appearance of something or someone lighter than him-not likely he would utilise this too much tho.
As it is with his creator, 4) on the list, Chicota is skilled mechanic (but only for electro-mechanical stuff) and capable driver.
Another English speaker
Has few jet engines inside of him, allowing him flight
He is easy-going individual by behaviour, which kinda hides the fact he is made for fighting bad guys and he enjoys fighting.
True, his opponents were never on same level as him (think armored and weaponised humans and dogs the size of Klimentol), but there were many of them.
More relevant for story is his infinite tolerance to alcohol and fact drinking alcohol is one of his interests.
- Aydar Junior
Role: He can do anything needed - Driver, mechanic, doctor, fighter
Age: 9y
Also 2m tall/long and weighs 100 kg.
This pup of mutated dog exibits very insane characteristics indeed.
By far strongest, (likely) toughest and fastest member of team, having same knowledge as Klimentol and being dead-serious is combination for success.
Klimentol would hardly be described as weak, but Aydar Junior packs more noticeable muscle despite similar size and mass to said ancestor - there is like 6 or 7 generations separating these two.
Originally oldest members, that would be replaced by 1) and 3) in final team composition
They also appeared in prologue and most of adventures in US
a) Ludžo Stariji (Loodjoe Senior)
Role: Supplies, Navigation to some extent
Age: 80y old dog
He is completely gray, in same sense that can be applied to hair of old humans.
Also is 1.5m long and has 50kg to move around.
He prefers to use all 4 legs to move around, but can stand up like human.
Knows tad bit of Russian and ofc can communicate with normal dogs.
His navigational skills would relate to decades he spent as stray dog, travelling through Europe.
He can extract urine under very high pressure, allowing him some kind of flight and this ability can be used as weapon - can consistently cut humans in half if continuous stream.
b) Siviko (both CV-Co and Civic-oh work here)
Age: about 50
Roles: Hunter, Navigator
Appearance: Grey cat of 50kg, standing upright might give him 1.5m height
Adopted son of a), being small kitten Loodjoe found and decided to adopt and raise…while travelling around.
He isnt confirmed to know Russian, but his knowledge and experience match his friend, father and mentor described above, so he is likely going to accompany Loodjoe on whatever job.
Like Loojoe, he prefers using all 4 legs to move around.
Car
This would be specially modified Kontir Cunningham 1.9 from 1995
Modifications include:
4 tanks of 76 liters each for water, fuel and some cheap beer for Chicota
-2 water tanks are in bed and two under the hood. They are grey
-Beer is marked red and is entirely in bed
-2 tanks of fuel are under bed and two are in bed. These can be recognised by black color
2 spare tires
Roll-down net for kinda closing rear end
Roll-down rear glass which would allow going directly from cab to bed.
Tool box thats between cab (down) and additional space above cab (up)
4 boxes for stashing clothes and food mostly
Its 6 seater by virtue of having two bench seats.
Additional space above cab also has lower parts of three
back seats they found out for cheap and one complete back seat, which can be used for resting or as alternative way of sleeping while on the move.
They also found some cheap bicycle and yet another, this time full back seat that was sneakily supposed to be place for said bicycle. It was imagined that few members of group who can ride it can use it for supplies, if need be.
Said back seat can also serve as resting point of sorts, when its not occupied by bike
These might give you deeper understanding of position of some stuff in vehicle
Prologue, backstory -whatever rocks your boat
In Belgrade, Serbia
Klimentol: Hmm, after some thought i realized something. I dont have some kind of vehicle to drive in.
Like, be real.
Everyone else commanding some country in the world has something to drive himself or herself in and i, emperor of technologically most advanced country in world, dont have such thing.
Loojoe: Well young one, you could have easily made such vehicle if you so desired.
Klimentol: Im supposed to travel to America for some discussion about nanotechnology. How am i supposed to travel around there?
Some Mr. Texas presented himself as promising figure.
Loojoe: You could save some money and buy car.
It should fit us all.
Klimentol: ???
Loojoe: I never been to that America and i do be 80y old.
Also my drive for travel might be itching again.
Siviko: Ye, we are now way too old to go on paws. Death can catch us at any point.
Unlike my biological family, i have choice for proper funeral and plan to use it.
Klimentol: That doesnt seem to be good condition to go travelling.
But since i might want some company, will bring you too.
Added benefit is that i could fix you up if something happens-i studied anatomy of cats for some time.
Granpa was already on my operating table and his body holds no secrets for me.
Pi appeared when she heard the convo going
Pi: Some member of Chitco family is supposed to go to…uh…dont know the place, but i know someone must go. And its in US.
Klimentol: Afaik most of them are busy or straight up not interested to go there just to travel through few boring dealerships.
Except…hmm, i got an idea.
We could take YOU there.
Pi: Im stupid.
Klimentol: And yet noone found reasoning to disassemble you, even tho you were supposed to work for just one singular job. People accept your stupidity and ugliness for such simple, open person.
Dont tell me you have better job to do.
Pi: Mrdja might complain.
*Before you ask, yes, Mrdja is me, myself and i.
Quick call to said Mrdja had disproven Pi’s thoughts.
With that said, they started mentally and physically preparing forjournsey ahead.
Few days later at one Kontir dealership in America
Worker: Hey! (chuckling, throws phone at Pi. Happily Klimentol catched it before its untimely kiss with the wall) Mail!
Pi: Thanks. (Started listening to it. One mail had attracted her attention)
Some rally thing…Wot
Worker: Uh…i may or may have not searched for Dakar while doing some job here.
Also i think i accidentally redirected some mails to your mail adress.
Pi: Makes sense.
This prob seems dangerous tho. (Turned screen so worker can read for himself)
Worker: Yup, i have family and they cant afford to lose me. Cool idea tho, someone should try it.
(Screeching of tires was heard from outside. There they saw car doing donuts on parking lot.
When it stopped, Chicota exited the car and got towards the building.)
Loojoe: We are gonna go rallying.
(Explains mail)
Klimentol: No we arent. I still need to do that nanomachine-related meeting.
Chicota: With, i guess, me?
I saw such mail about rally btw earlier and thought it would be exciting- more exciting than with Mrdja and his ABC friends.
Can bet your partner there was some Lamar Texas.
Klimentol: (Checks mail, confirming Chicota was correct )
So i had fallen into kinda trap.
Oh well, tbf i also kinda miss excitement that proper adventure can bring.
But before you say anything more, we would need to find a car suitable for travel.
I might consider keeping said vehicle for myself to use or give it away to Mrdja and Nev to use, that is, if it kinda survives this whole ordeal.
(They went outside and witnessed another employee talking with manager)
Getting a car
Employee: Im here to buy new car. This one served me well from beggining until now, but i now want something more comfier and plusher.
Do you accept trade-ins and if yes, how much decrease in price for new one i could expect?
Manager: We do trade-ins but, as you already know full well yourself, we would not accept that car.
You could say stuff like: “Im its first and only owner” or “It was routinely serviced” , but essence is not going to be changed.
-We cant resell it
-Noone of staff would be interested in driving it, which might include yourself when you get used to whatever other car you get.
My suggestion is: Keep it.
Employee: But my driveway cant fit two cars.
Manager: Sorry if i come up as rude, but that isnt exactly either my problem or something i could help you with.
Employee: I understand your point, but can you please make an exception in this case?
Im begging you.
Please.
I might consider buying another Kontir.
Manager: You know the rules and so do i
im gonna give you up, im gonna let you down
Im gonna turn around and desert you
(Acompanied by actual turning around and leaving. Employee started crying.)
Pi approached the guy.
Pi: -What seems to be an issue?
E: -They dont want to accept my car for trade-in.
P: -Any known reason why?
E: --Well…its 1.9 version…with 156 hp…wait, why am i telling you this?
Pi: -Maybe bcos i had shown interest in it. We plan on doing a rally and would need a car.
Since there are five of us, better make sure car in question is somewhat capable of fitting us all.
This seems like adequate choice.
Klimentol: There is in fact reason as to why ppl wouldnt want that. I just checked and it has over 2100 kilograms. It has very small power compared to what it needs to move.
Pi: It has 156 hp…that seems like a lot.
Klimentol: Same goes for its mass. Wait, why am i arguing with YOU in region where i hold definitive knowledge advantage?
Pi: Heh we cant be picky. It was said that we could use only 2k to get something.
Employee: I never said im that desparate.
Klimentol: You might decide to be tho. Noone in US would be interested in such combo of small engine in big car and its way too big for…anywhere else
Wait…Why im agreeing with Pi?
Pi: I was wondering that myself. Seems that we are desparate for car.
Its not like you are cash-strapped anyway.
Employee: Will need to think about it.
(Left so he could start his shift.)
Manager: I found some info. We might give him 1k of turn-in value.
Pi: Doubt he would find it acceptable.
M: And so wouldnt we, knowing full well it would just take unecessary space on parking lot.
Indeed, he wasnt happy. Out of two evils, he chose lesser one and parted with truck for 1.5k from our group. This also had benefit of not occupying one more parking space.
Group worked tirelessly to adapt it to their wants and needs, dictated by email they got.
Ironically, they were often working beside one of car mechanics-and previous owner of very vehicle they are prepping.
They found some neighbor who got new gate and decided to get rid of old one, which was promptly taken, checked for rust, repainted and put/welded on vehicle.
Some old seats also got second life as alternative accomodation-turns out that getting to them wouldnt be as comfortable or elegant as originally hoped, but they would be included regardless.
There were thoughts about engine swap, but it was decided that current engine might be just fine.
And so, they got on road in incomplete vehicle.
Taking turns, Chicota and Klimentol would fit everything in place, with occasional help from others (help towards Chicota was mostly composed of bringing him beer; Klimentol was more serious) while another one was behind the wheel.
And so we leave this part with them driving towards start line, in unfinished vehicle and with incomplete supplies. Only complete thing seemed to be chaos.
4 Likes
Meet team Wayfarer and their behemoth “Chernobog”.
Team Wayfarers:
Jill Willow-Wright: 34 year old human witch, native of Crugandr. A fan of meeting new people, trying new food, world hopping translocation and arcana. She’s the navigator and healer.
Jack Willow-Wright: 38 year old human mechanic, native of Inverness. Met Jill when she opened a portal to find the legendary Nessie, and subsequently trashed her rental car on the B roads while getting there. He’s the driver and mechanic.
Rufus Willow-Wright: 9 year old Siamese Flame point cat. Family pet, familiar and the face of the team: his charisma and soft belly are irresistible.
One week before the start date.
Jill stared at the ancient truck sitting in their drive way, unable to take her eyes off it.
“No. No, you didn’t.”
“I did, though,” Jack said, grinning.
“You’re joking. You didn’t go out and waste our money on…,” she sputtered, waving her hands in the direction of the truck, “ …that thing!”
“I’m as serious as a heart attack,” Jack replied, giving the bumper a hearty pat, sending flakes of rust tumbling onto the floor. They both watched their progress, and then looked back at each other. Jack brushed at the mess awkwardly with one foot, and plunged on with his pitch.
“It may not look like much, but this thing is gonna win us that rally!”
“It’s an absolute lemon!” She cried out, walking towards him. “Look at the state of it! Where did you even find it?”
“I met a bloke at the pub,” James said, rather sheepishly, hoping Jill wouldn’t make too much of that revelation. “He said he worked at the local quarry, and one thing led to another…”
“You mean one drink led to another,” Jill said, giving Jack a mean side eye.
“Yes, well, anyway,” he said, trying to hurry the conversation along onto safer ground. “He said the board finally splurged for a set of new trucks, so they were selling the old ones off dirt cheap.”
“And just how much did you spend on this thing?!” Jill cried out.
“A couple of grand… “ Jack mumbled, “but don’t you worry! This isn’t just for the rally! Once we win, I’ll convert it into a cozy camper that you’ve always dreamed about!”
Jill sighed, looking over the truck once more. The bed in the back was huge - it really would make for a pretty sweet camper conversion. They could finally road trip to all the places she had told Jack about without worrying about him getting charmed or eaten.
“Will it even make it to the first stage? It looks like a complete mess.”
“On the outside, sure. There’s surface rust everywhere. But they maintained it very well mechanically. Besides, it really is quite a simple truck, anyway. Not much on it that can go wrong, and when it does, you could fix it with some gum and a hammer.”
Jack rummaged around in his pocket, and produced a crumpled wad of paperwork.
“Take a look for yourself.”
Jill took the wad, straightened it out, and got stuck in. Jack wasn’t exaggerating, as far as she could tell: the service booklet stapled to the corner of the page was absolutely stuffed with receipts. Behind it was an import certificate, indicating that the truck was shipped over about thirty years ago. Flipping on to the printed out spec sheet at the very end, she took in the technical details: the truck was built in 1970, sporting a basic and thirsty carburettored 6l v8, a ladder chassis, steel body work and a suspension setup borrowed from a horse and carriage. However, it came equipped with all terrain tyres, lockable diff, four wheel drive and an overbuilt set of hydro-pneumatic shocks. There’s even a sleeper cab in the back, so they could save some money on hotel rooms (and on Jack’s medical bills).
“Eastern bloc special, as you call it?” she asked, still reading.
“You got it,” Jack nodded, “must have been a long distance hauler in its past life.”
Jill read on a moment longer, and finally put the paper down.
“Fine then. We only have a few days to get this thing ready for the rally. Let’s start.”
“You got it, ma’am.” Jack beamed, relieved. Their couch wasn’t very comfortable, and he wasn’t looking forward to spending the next week sleeping on it.
“And if either Rufus or I get tetanus from that truck, I’m going to polymorph you into a newt.”
6 Likes
I love that truck!
2 Likes