2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Results Out!)

We will all be in lunatic asylum before this is over…

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Well, I suppose it’s expected that people are trying to out-weird each other. It’s still a good bit of fun.

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The Witchlight

Somewhere on another plane.

The Consortium Master Janni’karian was pondering the scrysphere, checking relayed messages between the branches of the Wildnight Consortium. The same usual drivel, updates from the south, new elemental type found in the plane of air, an email from outside the known cosmos, a new queen in rouglan, some new grand adventurers slay Drar’geth the Nightmare Lord.
The master realized something he passed over. Go back, go back. A message from outside the known cosmos? he thought. Maybe I can call on… them, to deal with it.


It was an early morning. Elist had made a grand error in their ways last night. Challenging a Hobgoblin to a shot-for-shot drinking game was definitely not the best idea. They opened their eyes to the wooden roof of the tavern. It was definitely bright. Pushing themselves into a seated position, there sat on a chair, reading some of her weird scriptures, was Kira, in her humanoid form curiously.
“Morning Sleepyhead,” Kira chimed noticing Elist finally stirring, “Ambay and Finne have already gone downstairs, I was waiting around until the demon rose once again.” Elist gave a sharp glare toward her, and pulled themselves out of bed. Kira noticed the cue, and exited to find her friends.

“Well, Ambay,” the loud voice of Finne boomed up from the dining hall, “Seems like we’ve got a job! Blessed Erastil, the Consortium have finally given us something to do.” Kira floated down the stairs, now back in her fox-like form. Without hesitation she approached the table Ambay and Finne were seated at, taking a seat next to the lizard.
“You’re praising Erastil, so that means it must be good, right?” Kira said as she slot into the seat.
“Abso-fucking-lutely it’s good. Come straight from the Master’s own fuckin mouth!” Finne shouted into the empty dining hall. The Elven bartender gave a curious look, which Finne quickly dismissed.
“What is the Job, Effy. Do I get to fight?” Ambay finally spoke up, much to the shock of Finne. Kira assumed he’d said nothing for over an hour, then.
“Well, Mister Silent, I was waiting until Elist got here, then we can go over the job. Don’t wanna leave a witch out of the light.” Ambay just shrugged, before going back to his very much overfilled meal.

Ten or so minutes passed until Elist finally appeared at the table, seating herself on the lap of Kira.
“So, what have I missed?” Elist said as they sat.
“Well, now that the whole squad is here, Ambay,” Finne glared briefly at the lizard before continuing, “The Consortium Master themselves sent us a job! Apparently, it came from outside our known cosmos. No idea how it got here, but, they said one of the archmages figured out how to, like, back trace the source or something.” Elist looked confused, Kira looked surprised, and Ambay’s face never changes.
“Uh, so, do we have any idea what the message actually is?” Kira finally said.
“I’m lucky you asked! As a matter of fact, they had a scribe reproduce the message.” Finne passed the replication of the Shitbox Rally email to Kira. The pair of Kira and Elist looked over the message for a few moments.
“Finne, the fuck is a) a car, b) the United States, and c) GPS?” Kira finally said after a moment longer.
“Apparently, The Archmages said that… well, some weird shit might happen when we get sent to where the message came from…” There was a sheepish look on Finne’s face, “And we don’t really have a choice in the matter, due to, ya know, the contract and all that?” Ambay stood from the table, shifting the entire table toward Finne. He gave a swift nod toward Kira and Elist, before grabbing Finne by the shoulder.
“We will find equipment. You two can talk, speak with the Archmage. I worry for Foxkin’s faith.”


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I’m having a blast writing for this challenge so far lmao, good stuff madrias

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Team Wayfarers.

Two days before the rally, Inverness-shire.

Weather: overcast, with a cool breeze.

Jill watched Jack creep from under the truck, brush the dust off his faded blue overalls, and give her a winning grin.

“So, is everything in order?” she asked. “Aye, I double checked everything and it was just as I had said: surface rust as far as the eye can see, but otherwise solid. Cherno’s a beast.”

Jill nodded, pleased. “Cherno?”

“Cherno, short for Chernobog, an Easter European mythical beast. I think it suits it.”

“If you say so. Now, let’s go through the checklist one more time,” she said, waving the clipboard at him. “We need to be prepared.”

“Aye, go ahead,” Jack said, glancing back at the truck.

“Food and water?”

“Check. 5 gallon drum of water, and a crate filled with canned and dry goods, cat food and litter, camping supplies and a few treats.”

“Treats?” She asked, warily.

“Aye. A few bottles of good whisky, a multipack of Iron Bru, some chips and marshmallows, that sort of thing.”

“You do realise we are going rallying, not gallivanting, right?”

“Aye,” Jack laughed, “but we can still do it in style.”

“Fine,” Jill sighed. “Spare parts?”

“Check. I got two spare tyres thrown in when I bought it, fresh spark plugs, a spare carb, oil, tool box, a jack…”

“Fine, fine,” Jill cut him off. Jack loved his work and, given the chance, he’d be going on all night. “Did you pack your shotgun?”

“Check,” he said, “But you know it’s for birdshot, right? I can take down a pheasant, and not much more.”

“Ah, but they won’t know that.”

“They?” Jack asked, confused.

“Riffraff, highwaymen, bandits,” Jill listed, “pirates, assassins…”

“Aye, noted. Crugandir is fantasy Glasgow, got it. All that’s left is to get a barrel of fuel, and we’re ready to go.”

“Crugandir, and the other kingdoms, are a place of freedom, magic, and wonder. It’s not sanitised like your world…” She paused, smirking, “…and there are no speed cameras.”

“When can we move there?” Jack blurted out, in awe.

Jill laughed, and wistfully wondered aloud.

“Someday, maybe, but it’s a complicated place. It’s great beauty comes with great danger, and I need you to respect that.”

Jack walked over to Jill and enveloped her in his arms.

“I now see where you get it from.”

“You cad!” She cried, but was pleased nonetheless. “We’ll be fine if you follow my lead and use your head. Oh, and if you don’t try to pet the Iguanas.”

“What?” Jack wasn’t sure, but he thought he just had a stoke.

“Iguanas. We ride them, but they’re a handful. I know how you are when you find something cute. Now, let’s pack our bags and get a good nights rest. We set out tomorrow, and I want us to be bright eyed and bushy tailed.”

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Just so yall know, i updated this post

It now includes car they gonna use and how they got it

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TBH, at the pace Fruinia to Archana is running at the moment, I doubt that participating in both would be a struggle…

Studies in Quantum Xenoanthropology, Ep. 3

Link to the previous post (which incidentally is post 47)

“Good morning, everyone!” Senior Field Researcher Arthur McMillan opened the mission briefing for the planned quantum xenoanthropology study for the car rally from Nevada to Crugandr in quantum reality (QR) C388-47 (or -47 for short).

Besides McMillan at the table in the nondescript briefing room on the Galactic Quantum Xenoanthropology Institute space station was Ensign Ford, the designated second person to take part into the mission, on secondment from the Union spaceship Orville, three analysts who would be in charge of external mission control and preliminary data analysis, and of course T’Mir, the director responsible for the whole endeavour.

“Based on our understanding of the human cultures on Sol III in QR -47, we decided to have me and Ford assume the role of technologists from an area called the Silicon Valley in the state of California. This place is not named for deposits of the raw material, but rather for its use in high-tech digital components. Our alter egos will take part in the rally to take time off between stressful entrepreneurial jobs doing what the local inhabitants would call ‘soul searching’ - which is nothing sinister or transcendental, but just a metaphorical term for introspection and self-reflection.”

Arthur took a quick glance at his notes and continued. “Assuming such roles will give us plenty of advantages for our mission: an excuse for our general curiosity, our rational orientation in a quite hedonistic culture, and also our unfamiliarity with the outdoors and social situations in general. It will also save us on wardrobe - unassuming but high-quality clothing of dark colours and otherwise little variety will be seen as not unusual for such people. In fact, some inhabitants of the Silicon Valley boasted to own only one type of shirt.”

One of the analysts chimed in: “We are currently working to provide you with something with the exact look and feel of the clothing for your target culture, but of course it will also be nano-enhanced for modern comfort and our hygienic standards.”

“So we are going to have to wear the same drab things every day?”, Ford wondered.

Arthur was puzzled. “You, of all people, should be familiar with the concept of a uniform, coming from a Union starship.”

“But we are not wearing our uniforms off-duty”, Ford replied. “And they have bright colours, red, blue, green.”

“Well, ours will not”, Arthur stated. “And you will be always on-duty anyway, lest we drop our guard and draw undue attention to ourselves.”

Ford’s enthusiasm for the mission seemed to have dropped quite a bit all of a sudden.

Undaunted, Arthur continued. “The other key piece of equipment of course will be the combustion-engined vehicle with which we will take part in the rally. It will be a car, called the Mara Kanyon, which we actually acquired in Archana on another human inhabited planet in QR -50 in a previous expedition. Have our latest analyses indicated any issues with the car’s quantum states when we bring it from one QR to the next?” He looked at the analysts sitting across the table from him.

They shook their head. “No issues there, Arthur. The Kanyon should be actually quite familiar to the human inhabitants of Sol III in QR -47, so that quantum transference should not be any problem.”

“Excellent”, Arthur continued. “I understand the car is a somewhat rare combination; its combustion engine is quite weak and rough, but more importantly for us it has quite a comfortable interior, since that’s where we will be spending most of our time. There is also a automatic gearbox controlled by a primitive computer - otherwise you would have to do what is called ‘shifting gears’ manually.”

He looked at Ford who breathed a sigh of relief as manual shifting had proven to be quite challenging for him in the simulator.

Analyst Bennie continued on cue from Arthur. “In the recent days, we installed a small sarium krellide-powered computer processing unit and data storage in the car, running a sophisticated AI to support you in your mission. We also installed concealed wide-lens nano-cameras fitted to all sides of the car to permanently record the surroundings and behaviours for later analysis. We can further provide you with personal access display devices in the shape of - what they call, I believe, ‘tablet computers’ - appropriate for the era. These ‘tablets’ seem to run a regular operating system called Android, but underneath they work according to our standards and can communicate with the embedded central computer.”

“It would be wise for us not to lose these devices”, Arthur added, half looking at Ford.

“Otherwise, we kept visible modifications of the car to the minimum. There is, however, a small generic display unit above the magnetic tape player/radio unit next to the driver’s seat. Since speech or audible noises have to be avoided, the AI will show comments written on the screen, accompanied by noises of typing on a mechanical keyboard to draw your attention. The AI is also hooked up to the car components, but a self-driving mode has to be activated manually.”

“We should of course only do this in emergency situations”, Arthur interjected. “Self-driving cars will be something quite a bit in the future for the humans in QR -47. Further away then they actually think. The backstory for this screen is, shall we need one, that this was a hobby project of ours.”

Bennie continued. “Among the equipment stored in the trunk are spare parts, a toolbox, and a drone for additional visual recordings. A small-scale matter replicator is also hidden in one of the boxes, but it should also only be used in emergencies.”

“Can we see this visual AI communication system in action?”, asked Ford. “I am not quite sure I get it how it works, just based on your description.”

“Sure”, Arthur stated and led the whole group to the research lab next door. “The AI is already programmed for the mission parameters, I presume?”

“Yes, Arthur”, one of the analysts confirmed.

In the research lab, they found the Mara Kanyon placed in the centre of the room, windows down. “Hello!” Arthur exclaimed. “We are here.”

Some clicking noises came from the interior of the car as if someone would indeed work ancient mechanical keys. Ford glanced through the open window onto the centre console where the display screen was supposed to be. And there he could see the AI’s reply.

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Just a friendly reminder that this challenge’s deadline is in one week.

So far, I have cars and teams from:

@Caligari
@Executive
@BannedByAndroid
@interior
@TheYugo45GV
@Knugcab
@Fayeding_Spray
@MrdjaNikolen

If I haven’t mentioned your name, I don’t yet have your car.

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The team name is on the end of each prologue I’ve made since my second post.

TL;DR: Fallen Angels of The Past

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Ah, fair enough. I had it marked down that way in my sheet, but wanted some confirmation before I ran with it. Thank you.

Until today, nobody knew how the rays formed, appear, nor how do they work. User accounts claimed that the rays is exclusively shown in an area somewhere in Porto La Joya, and when the rays was appeared it was almost exclusively on a quiet place near the town. And of course, the time travels doesn’t stay long. People who claimed to encounter the rays are tasked to complete specific tasks, and then the user will be shown a portal to the place where they belong…

PROLOGUE

2022, somewhere outside Las Vegas

To avoid the unknown man from chasing them, the girls went for a hide in their car, and then drove away from the city without alerting anybody. When they entered the car, they saw a walkie-talkie, which was left by Carol for easier communication between them. There is also a note as well, presumbly left by Carol as well.

Several minutes later, Carol came to them while driving a 2005 Hinata Clara.

[conversation via walkie-talkie]

C: “Okay, follow me, sweeties.”

L: “Erm…what?”

C: “Just follow me. No questions?”

The duo started the journey by following Carol’s car. They are still confused at what happened. They thought Carol is some sort of reviewer and “online video platform maker” (which we call them “YouTuber”), but what they are not sure, is who the heck Carol actually is.

But they didn’t care at the time, and they kept following Carol’s car until they arrived at an abandoned gas station located somewhere at the Mojave Desert.


2022, undisclosed location, somewhere in Nevada, 9:00PM

The girls started a fireplace near the abandoned gas station. Then they started to have a small talk between them, and Carol.

M: “So who are you, mademoiselle? Why do you know we’re are time travellers? Why do you save us?”

C: “If you want to know more about me, then sure. Infact I’m actually a member of the Time Agency. Yes, sure, it sounds like a joke, but the fact that the Drivers.com job is actually a cover from my actual job.”

L: “So what’s the Time Agency?”

C: “Time Agency? Yeah. That’s a group dedicated to protect and guide all the time travellers back to their places. The group is supposed to be formed 500 years later…which means that I’m actually one of the time travellers. But not the ones like you, though.”

M: “That means you’re a time traveller as well?”

C: Yeah. I’m not giving you any other info beyond that tho, since all personal info Time Agents are confidential due to laws or something.

L: “Another question. Who is that guy you faced against from?”

C: “He’s likely from the Prophecy Project. A group that finds time travellers worldwide, and tries to stop them by catching them to do illicit things and such before killing them, so watch out for them.”

Some small talk later the girls also found out that Carol is actually preparing a race, which is the race from Nevada to what place that they don’t know. But from Carol’s words, they was actually tasked to do that in order to make them return to the place where they belong.

Several hours later, they went back to sleep.

[TBC]


Fallen Angels of the Past

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Prologue

Aidan's family mechanic shop (JDM Specialists Ireland)

February 25th, 2022

Dublin, Ireland

Local time: 10:20 AM

Weather: Sunny and Clear

5 Days remain


The team gathered at the shop once again to pack up their supplies and gear. Every team member brought one bag each with two changes of clothes. They spent most of the morning loading up the green wagon with their gear. The two coolers for the food would be loaded up and put in the car when they departed for the US on the 27th. But today, Pavel had arrived with the weapons he had acquired and it was time to unpack them. Aidan found Pavel unloading FN Herstal rifle crates from his beige SFVM Dunav.

“Pavel has brought the weapons.” said Pavel.

Aidan nodded.

“I can see that, which ones do we have.”

Pavel pointed to the smallest crate sitting on top of a Walther rifle box.

“All the pistols are in the crate over here. We have one Makarov, two HK USPs both in .45 ACP, and the mark nineteen Desert Eagle is for you. I couldn’t find .44 magnum anywhere so I got .50 AE instead. Anyway, I decided that I get Makarov, Owen and Max get USPs and Karl gets the Glock 19. The Glock is in 9mm just so you know.”

Then he turned to the two big crates with the FN Herstal markings.

“These two crates are individual FN FAL rifles, extra magazines are in the boxes that I have yet to remove from my car.”

Turning around Pavel got a Kalashnikov marked crate from the trunk and placed it on the FAL crates

“In this one, there are five Zastava M92 rifles. All five are 7.62x39 variants.”

He then retrieved another weapon crate from the car.

“Then we have an M16A2 in this box here. Owen didn’t want the G36.”

Aidan nodded in acknowledgement. “And where’s the Walther WA2000?”

“Right here Capitan.” Pavel announced, setting the crate that contained it on top of the FN crates.

“Good, You can put the FALs, the Walther and M16 along with their respective ammunition types in the trunk with our luggage. I’ll pass the Krinkovs and the handguns out to the lads and before I forget did you find a way for us to get to America?”

Pavel nodded. “Yes, I have big surprise on the way. Dublin airport is where I will reveal it.”

“Huh. Interesting. How long do we have to wait?”

“Two days.”

“I see, keep up the good work Pavel.”


Weapons:

Desert Eagle XIX (Mark 19)

2x H&K USP 45

2x FN FAL 50.00

HK G36 (Replaced)

Makarov PM

5x Zastava M92 (Yugoslavian Krinkov copy)

Walther WA2000

Glock 19

The FALs, Walther and G36 go in the trunk (The M92s also go in there but will be passed out amongst the team once they pass through the “portal”.)


Supplies list update:

Shotgun shells (Removed)

M16A2 w/40mm M203 grenade launcher (Replaces G36)

.44 Magnum (Removed, Replaced by .50 AE)

Camp Stove and fuel

Sleeping bags

Dog food for Gunther

40mm Grenades (for the grenade launcher)

Spare magazines for all the guns.

Ditched the car tent (Max’s tent is big enough for him and Karl)


TO BE CONTINUED

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Well, they’re certainly well armed. Probably not exactly a bad thing, either.

Yup, I guess they want to appear more intimidating…

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Well, I can only speak for my team, but they wouldn’t exactly intimidate any of Team Shift Happens. Rukari’s ex-special-forces, Malavera’s a former bounty hunter, Kayden’s active Panthirian Military stranded far from home. Jayde, who you guys haven’t met yet, has been through a lot of battles. Kaylie’s perhaps the only one you’d frighten, and even then, she’s calm under pressure because she’s a starship mechanic.

But, I get where the idea is coming from. They’re worried that someone’s going to ambush them or that this is some form of trap, so they’re going in prepared for anything.

Well, three of my team members are ex military so I guess they are somewhat equal in experience in that regard.

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Wait, isn’t that a plaque psoriosis med?

Team Slow
Part 2- Rev up your engines. Prologue

So yeah, we test driven our car, it may feel like worse than before, but that’s because it’s getting old, and it’s aging. and it will be worse upon this journey. Needless to say, it felt more like a luxury car than we thought, still more or-less a cheaper entry level executive car.

Dialogue.

Matt: So, how did it go.
John: Yea, it went fine, just hit a bump too hard and fucked up my suspension.
Matt: You did what? We’ve done this like 5 years ago? Remember?
John: Oh yeah, but that was a crash? Pretty sure this aint that bad. It can still drive?
Matt: Yeah, and it drives like SHIT. Utter horse-shit now!
John: It’s fixable, It’ll buff out, alright, It might drive like a true sports car now.

Matt starts to stare at John dead in the eyes, like the engine went missing. But that isn’t the case

Matt: Alright, go off i guess?

To be continued.

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Pavel in the Spetsnaz, Aidan as a Commandant in the Irish Army, Owen was in the Garda Síochána’s Special Detective Unit before he joined the Navy. I think Owen actually wasn’t a lieutenant but instead an ensign

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