2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Results Out!)

[Fayeding_Spray]

@Madrias

(If you honestly can’t wait, send them early. I don’t mind.)

Hey, it me, I can’t wait!

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The Witchlight

By Decree of Consortium Master Janni'karian,
The Group of the Witchlight are to be enabled and supplied
to compete for the growth and love
of the Wildnight Consortium

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Who is "The Witchlight?"

Well, honestly, “The Witchlight” are a group of 4 adventurers who got permission from their boss to not adventure for a few months. They pooled together some money, and decided a multiple thousand mile long journey sounded like a good idea. Especially to get away from their usual bullshit. That shit is hard. Fucking Dragons.

Driver

Elist Northwund
Ancestry: Tiefling Human
Class: Aberrant Bloodline Sorcerer
Pronoun: They/Them (Female Presenting)
Appearance: Purple-ish skin, some nice Ram-like horns on the side of their head, long tail, a bit of what you’d call a “modern” wizard robe. Oh, yeah, back length black hair, straight. Tall too, six foot three inches, horns excluded.

Elist is an oddity. They are very obviously demon blooded. They look like a humanoid demon. But they’re also lovely, friendly, and doesn’t want their friends to be hurt. They basically act as the driving force for The Witchlight. By that sense of Irony, they’re the only one who learned how to drive stick, so they also got stuck as the driver. They’re fine, they’re fine, definitely fine.

Navigator

Finne Stonewall
Ancestry: Dwarf.
Class: Ranger
Pronoun: He/Him
Appearance: Short and Stocky, like a dwarf should be. Crotch Length beard, a very light blonde in colour. No hair on their head. Very obvious compound Crossbow. Pretty medium weight leather armour, but weaved with Kevlar, because modern. He’s tall for a dwarf, at 4ft 7in

Finne is a hunter. He’s always been good at hunting, at tracking, at navigating. He was really the only one anyone trusted. Outwardly Gruff, but to the rest of the witchlight, he’s fiercely protective, and very communicative. His soldier background, and hunting background definitely won’t detract from this adventure.

Healer

Kira Hakoke
Ancestry: Kitsune
Class: Cleric
Pronoun: She/Her
Appearance: In her fox form, she has beautiful and well maintained red fox patterned fur with a pair of tails. In her hidden form, she appears as a Human, with long orange hair, and curious amber eyes. She wears traditional vestments of Daikitsu, her patron deity, despite the incredibly outdated design. Stands about 5ft 5in

Kira is a devout servant of the Kitsune god Daikitsu, and her work as the main healer and Cleric of the Witchlight very much is beneficial. She doesn’t like showing her fox form to others often, but will do so in more substantial circumstances, such as the start of the event, or the end. She can be rather brash, but always intends to keep her own values, and her parties values at hand.

"Bodyguard"

Ambay
Ancestry: Lizardfolk
Class: Barbarian
Pronouns: He/They
Appearance: I mean, it’s easiest to just say he’s a more humanoid shaped Bipedal Komodo Dragon than try describe a lizard man. Also about 7 and a half feet tall.

Ambay is a man who fights. Ambay likes fighting. Ambay doesn’t enjoy the idea of a “road trip.” Ambay only agreed because he was allowed to be the bodyguard. He’s a cold person (ha) and really just doesn’t talk to strangers. Usually just glares and if that doesn’t work, his trusty Greatsword will do fine.

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Witchy Whip

A 1970s Luxury sedan was not the first choice, nor was it the second, or even third. Unfortunately everything else that was found didn’t fit Ambay. (Well, option two also didn’t fit everyone - Finne) This is a 1976 EAAC Aphrodite Ishtar. The absolute top spec trim of the largest normal car made by EAAC. Unfortunately, they were complex and expensive for the time. The absolutely atrocious fuel economy in 1976 very much did not agree with the continued existence of this iteration of the Aphrodite, so it was introduced in 76 and dead by 78.

This one is running worse because it has to run on concentrated horse piss, but what’re you gonna do. The 6.7 V8 is not the most cheerful about this turn, either, but it’s easy to drive. and really, it’s super important that it fits everyone. Having a 7 and a half foot tall bag of scales in the team really limits the options.

We found this one for maybe half a share over 1500 gold. Reason being is, well, these things are collectors items, but no collectors want them… It’s real fucking weird. I mean, like a clean one goes for like 10000 gold, but the Consortium only gave us 2000 gold. So we got, well, we got one. It just… it works weirdly. Ambay is convinced it’s haunted. Kira said something about what it was used for being against her god’s code. I think it was used to haul dead bodies. At least from what Finne could gather from the stains in the trunk. Thought it’d be more fun to spend our remaining money on making it look new, than what we expect others to do, because difference is cool, and might even… well, kill us?

[Madrias]

Good mix of characters. And, given that you went with some above human height, I, too, will put my characters up to their actual sizes and not the adjusted human ones.

Also, I can already see potential RP moments between certain characters, which is really good.

[interior]

Would V12 Luxobarges break the entire scoring system?

[Madrias]

@interior Technically, they shouldn’t, but this scoring system is somewhat new, so I can’t say for certain. It’s never been tested outside of a couple of ‘normal’ designs.

[Knugcab]

Once again, we will meet TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS, the pride of the Torne river valley, north-east Sweden…

ANDREAS KERO
Age: 32
Interests: Drinking moonshine, motorsports
Personal vehicles: 1992 Arlington Archprince Touring ZS, 1969 AEKI 200 folkrace car.
Personal motto: “Just floor it, you can always check what you managed to hit in the rear view mirror!”

The skilled driver of the bunch. At least according to himself. And that’s probably not a lie. Sometimes he actually has managed to complete a race at the folkrace track with his Aeki 200 without the whole car breaking apart.

JANNE MÄKITALO
Age: 44
Interests: Drinking moonshine, making inventions that is completely useless out of scrap he finds in his backyard.
Personal vehicles: 1967 Saarland Kardinal, 1969 IP Icarus diesel wagon, 1997 Boulder L150 Limited, and too many tractors, dirtbikes, mopeds, snowmobiles, lawnmowers and forklifts to even count.
Personal motto: “If it can’t be fixed with duct tape, it’s broken for real”.

The skilled mechanic of the bunch. He can repair anything you put in his hands. Just don’t be so sure about when you will get it back.

MARIE PESULA
Age: 37
Interests: Drinking moonshine, drinking beer, drinking cheap wine, drinking aftershave, drinking washer fluid, drinking lots of other suspect stuff, tattoos, obscure erotic roleplays.
Personal vehicles: 1962 Dodge Dart, 2002 Saarland Ambrosia Pilger V6

The one with the eye for aesthetics. She can make anything look better with a brush in her hand. At least until she tries to eat the paint. And don’t disagree on that point, she will get a little bit…violent, then.

Part 0.0 - A prologue to the prologue

(To understand this story better, it should be noted that Janne is working as a mechanic at Rautilas Bil AB, which is the local IP/Ardent/Suzume dealership - the three brands sharing the same dealerships and importer in Sweden is a lore thing from when Vic still was at this board)

The tractor-like burbling from the low-revving 2.4 litre four comes to an abrupt end when Janne turns off the white van outside Andreas’ place, where of course Marie also is at the moment, because how would it even become a story without that lucky coincidence? He opens the door and steps out.

JANNE: “So, what do you think about my new ride?”
ANDREAS: “Ah, you bought the old service van from your work. Nice. I guess you hardly had to pay anything.”
JANNE: “Correct, a bargain considering that it is a 2007 model after all.”
ANDREAS: “2007? Man, they really must have been producing them for, like, forever…”
JANNE: “Yup, for 21 years, between 1989 and 2010.”
MARIE: “So, any plans for it?”
J: “I don’t really know, to be honest. I was thinking I could use it as a work vehicle, but why? I have my Boulder after all.”
M: “We could always drive it like maniacs in a gravel pit until it dies and put the film on youtube.”
J: "Oh, come on, is that the most original thing you can come up with?
M: “If I would tell you about my most original stuff you would be scared for life.”
J: “Please let us keep this discussion car related, thanks!”
A: “Maybe this invite I got in the mailbox is a bit more interesting…”

OOC: Why this vehicle?
In 2007, the second generation IP Freeway Star was really a tried and true van, since it had been in production since 1989. Dated, but trusty. For a late 00s vehicle this would be among the simplest possible to fix - especially for an IP mechanic like Janne. There is some reasons (other than slightly better stats) why a late example seemed like a logical vehicle:

• A 1989 van sold in Sweden would probably not have had A/C fitted, while a 2007 model probably would have had a simple and primitive system. In that heat, you will appreciate A/C when you have crammed three people into a small van.
• The same goes for ABS, for somewhat better driveability.
• It could probably have been in service until now at the local IP dealership where he is working.

Will it fit all three of them? Yes, barely, since the cargo version has a bench seat up front. It will also be able to carry lots of necessary stuff in the rear.

Which driveline does it have? The 2.4 litre 4-cylinder with a 106 hp (before tuned for kerosene) power output. Does it shake? Yes. Does it burble? Yes. Does it rev? Hell no. Mated to the 4-speed auto since this challenge ain’t about speed anyway. And even better, it is the AWD version! After all, it has been in use in Northern Sweden, so…

Since it is a post 1998 model, it is a facelift! What does it mean? Composite headlights instead of sealed beams, clear indicators instead of amber, ABS and colour coded plastic parts instead of black. Cool! Or maybe not.

Why is it cheap? Because it was a dated penalty box of a van already when new, while competitors were offering more modern designs. Because the seat is dirty after its use as a “shop truck” - nothing that a dixie flag blanket can’t fix I guess. Because the handle on the left side sliding door has stopped working - no big deal for the use it will see now. Because it has its fair share of dents, scratches, rust, wear and tear, like any old work vehicle.

Anything unclear?

TO BE CONTINUED…

[AndiD]

Disclaimer: Let me know if this is too weird a background (or does not make sense at all), but I somehow felt like breaking out my long-dormant non-skills as a sci-fi writer again…

Studies in Quantum Xenoanthropology, Ep. 1:

“Director, I believe we have an new opportunity!”

Director T’Mir looked up from her console and saw the fresh face of Analyst Bennie eagerly standing between the automatic doors to her office at the heart of the Galactic Quantum Xenoanthropology Institute space station, orbiting an outer planet in the binary star system of Gamma Cephei.

“What is it, Bennie?”

“You remember that we were looking for an inconspicuous way to learn more about the civilizations on Aetherii in quantum reality C388-47?”

“Of course I do.” T’Mir became slightly annoyed but took great care to hide this from Bennie. Of course she would be aware of all planned and ongoing observation projects in the set of quantum realities (or multiverses) assigned to her. T’Mir was a high-ranking scientist in charge of overseeing her part of the institute’s ongoing mission to learn more about the cultural development of species on different worlds and universes (or quantum realities, QR for short).

“A group of Aetheriians wants to hold a multispecies - what they call - car rally through several Aetherii kingdoms, but they actually want to start on Sol III and use portals to go across the worlds. Our analysis indicates that this might be a rare point of confluence in this QR and therefore a unique opportunity for a polyxenoanthropological study.”

T’Mir frowned. “What exactly is a ‘carrally’?” She took great care to pronounce this unknown word and almost got it right the first try.

Bennie explained: “All car rally participants are expected to use their own four-wheeled combustion engine-driven vehicle - of a decidedly low quality in this case - to go from an indicated point of departure to an indicated point of arrival along a predefined route and through several stages. This means that the whole field of participants will reunite after each stage and face many individual and collective unpredictable environmental, social and technical challenges.”

“Sol III? So there are humans involved?”

“Yes, and the stages also go through the human kingdoms on Aetherii. But we believe there will be also Aetheriian Tiger Valraadis, Panthirian Tigrilans, Orthrian Khalan, Tieflings and Kitsune in the starter field. I don’t think such combinations have ever been studied before in xenoanthropology.”

T’Mir considered the situation outlined by Bennie for a while. “So we might be able to exploit the unique quantum constant around humans and their fascination with certain engine-driven vehicles to send in a team of our human xenoanthropologists as rally participants”, she thought aloud and turned to Bennie again. “Have Mr. McMillan report to me once he and his team are back from his studies of the extended steam age on Sol III in QR C388-42. I am sure he will appreciate a change of scenery with less soot and huffing noises.”

To be continued…

[TheYugo45GV]

Team Oil Crisis

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Driver/Team Captain: Aidan “Commando” O’Reilly

Appearance: 6’2” 262lbs. Above Average build, brown eyes, and blonde hair kept in the fauxhawk style. Clean shaven

Age: 42

Nationality: Irish (North Dublin) (Race: White Male)

Profile: Aidan is the leader of the group and the man who suggested the group partake in this challenge and was a commandant in the Irish army. Being the best driver (Owen being the second best) in the group he’s also proclaimed that he’s the primary driver, much to Owen’s dismay. His status as team captain is determined by the fact he has the highest military rank, but no one complained about this as they think he’s perfect candidate for such a position

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Secondary driver/Navigator: Owen “Calculator” Bell

Appearance: 6’ and a half, 267lbs. Above average build, Hazel eyes and ginger hair styled in a comb over. Bearded.

Age: 48

Nationality: Irish (South Dublin) (Race: White Male)

Profile: Owen Bell is the team’s navigator. Having served in the Irish Garda’s ERU and later as a Lieutenant in the Irish Naval Service and a navigation officer on the LÉ Samuel Beckett, he knows how to navigate to anywhere just by using the stars and constellations. Most of the time he prefers to use a map and a compass instead. Owen is also a skilled mathematician and can precisely calculate almost anything, but the only thing he really uses his math skills for is to calculate average speed, acceleration and fuel economy.

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Medic: Karl “Doc” Jager

Age: 37

Nationality: German (Race: White Male)

Appearance: 6’3” 255lbs. Intimidating build, brown eyes. Black hair with blonde hair. Clean shaven

Profile: Karl’s role in the group is to provide first aid should anyone get hurt. Being a paramedic for the German ambulance service, Karl had seen all kinds of events that harmed the citizens of Germany. From something as simple as a slip and fall to a giant pile up on the Autobahn, he was always one of the first on scene. His love of ambulances and fascination with first aid and emergency services are what enticed him to proceed with his dream. Karl is the only one on the team that is married and has a child, both of which are back in his hometown of Berlin.

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Survival Expert: Max “Bushwhacker” Oswald

Appearance: 5’9” 200lbs. Average Build. Hazel eyes, Black hair. Clean shaven

Age: 39

Nationality: New Zealand/Australian (Race: White Male)

Profile: Max joined the team for no other reason than to spend more time with his friends. He is a former New Zealand police officer and currently an armature survival expert. In his childhood, Max always enjoyed camping in his backyard whenever he could, and pretended to go on adventures in the depths of the Amazon or the desolate expanses of the Outback. As he got older he found that exploring nature and trying to survive with what he could find would allow him to learn about himself and nature. Max is very close to his friends and he’d do anything to make sure they are safe before himself.

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Weapons Expert: Pavel “Pavel” Kuzmin

Appearance: 6’6” 305lbs. Extremely Strong Build, Blue eyes, bald with stubble.

Age: 53

Nationality: Russian

Profile: Pavel is the team’s weapons expert and muscle man. He is the strongest, tallest and most intimidating of the group. Formerly Spetsnaz, Pavel knows his way around a vast variety of weapons and combat tactics. Pavel might tower over others at 6’6” and weigh 305lbs, but his personality does not match his size. He enjoys gardening and spending time in his backyard paradise that he created. On the other hand, he cares a lot about his health. Pavel regularly works out, goes jogging, and tends to stay away from junk food. Although he’s not against enjoying a cheeseburger once in a while.

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Mascot: Gunther the Rottweiler.

Age: 3

Profile: Gunther is Karl’s dog that he takes with him on hikes. Gunther is extremely intelligent for his kind as he can understand English and knows how to communicate though he can’t speak since he’s a dog. He’s average weight for his species weighing 55kg.

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ProPrologue

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Aidan's family mechanic shop (JDM Specialists Ireland)

Dublin, Ireland

Local time: 6:20 PM

Weather: Pouring Rain

---

Aidan shut the lights off so that his friends could see projector screen better.
“I am telling you, Owen. This seems like a legit email, there’s nothing to suspect we’ll be killed”

Owen crossed his arms and shook his head. “ave you lost your mind? It’s a google maps pin dropped in the middle of nowhere. I’m not willing to believe it for a second.”

Rolling his eyes, Aidan sighed. “How about you let yerself hear me out, before ya start bringing up your grievances.”

Doc and Bushwhacker entered the room.

“Eyy, What’s goin’ on in 'ere fellas?” Bushwhacker asked.

“Aidan’s being a gullible moron. Again.” said Owen, sitting himself in a chair nearby.

Aidan ignored him putting up his inbox with the email open up on the screen.

“I am not. Shall we?”

When no one responded he began.

“So, while we were all dithering about. I got this email sent from these people called ‘Team Shift Happens’ and it appears they are hosting a rally of some sort involving shitty cars.”

Bushwhacker leaned forward in his chair. “That sounds fun.”

Aidan nodded. “I agree, but Owen here thinks everyone’s out to get him.”

“I’m not?”

Just then Pavel came in through the door.

“Pavel was needed. He is here.” He said with a heavy Russian accent.

Aidan smiled. “Very good. I was just telling our friends about a rally of some sort.”

“Rally? You have attention of Pavel.”

“Bang on, have a seat.”

Pavel obeyed and sat at the head of the table. Then, Aidan resumed speaking.

“So, these Shift Happens guys are hosting this challenge and they want us to buy a car that does good off road and it can’t cost us more than two grand in American money. We have until March First to find a car, modify it, and then get it to Nevada–”

“Where’s this rally going to.” Owen interrupted.

“That’s unknown. Probably through Nevada and then some mystery location.”

“All the more reason not to go.”

Aidan sighed exasperatedly. “You aren’t going to die, get that through that haymes of that thick head of yours. If they try to kill us, we’ve got guns and we can easily leg it outta there.”

Owen stood up and began to leave. “Why you have to be such a chancer, Eh? I don’t want to die because of yer messing about.”

“Ok, Owen, please. I’ll let you be the navigator.”

Stopping short of the door and sharply inhaling, he turned around. “Will you let me drive?”

Aidan Nodded. “Sure, we can do it in shifts and in between fuel stops.”

“I’ll consider it. Could you forward me the email so I can see what we’re doing since you’ve talked me into going.”

“I’ll do that. We can’t go without you.”

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One week later

Dublin, Ireland

Local Time: 10:15 AM

Weather: Sunny and Clear

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The group rendezvoused back at the meeting room with their findings. Aidan had done the business of contacting the so called Shift Happens crew, Pavel had spoken to his contact about procuring weapons for them, Bushwhacker and Calculator had been assigned to find a car and Doc was acquiring medical supplies and first aid kits for them to bring with them on the rally.

Aidan sat at his office desk in the shop office, he had spent the past 20 minutes talking to the crew and asking them why the rally was starting in the Nevada desert. Calculator and Bushwhacker walked in as Aidan set the receiver down.

“What’s the matter?” asked Bushwhacker.

“Nothing Much, just got off the phone with those Shift Happens people and they said we are welcome to join in.”

“We’ve got more good news.” Calculator said. “I’ve compiled a list of cars we can get for under two grand. You want to have a look?”

“Sure.”

The three then gathered around Calculator’s Ipad and began to look through the list.

Among the options were, a 1980 Union Atomos, A 1979 IVERA 122 GTB, A 1993 SFVM Dunav, and an '01 Yugo GV.

They came to the first car.

“Which one of you wise guys thought a five door hatchback was gonna work?”

Calculator and Bushwhacker looked at each other.

“I dunno. Don’t look at me.”

Second car.

“I heard these IVERA’s are quite good.” Said Bushwhacker. “They are safe, reliable and–”

Calculator flicked him. “It doesn’t have four wheel drive ya dunce.”

“Oh. There’s no need to flick me, y’know?”

The third car came up followed by the fourth one.

All three looked at each other again. Aidan just scrolled away

“Yeah, No.”

They kept scrolling until a matte olive drab station wagon came up for 1640 Euros.

“Interesting… What’s the story with this one?” Aidan asked.

Calculator proceeded to explain.

“I found this one. Union Motors Magistrate V8 Vanguard Safari 4x4. I know, that’s a mouthful. But, I think it’s perfect. It’s got a raised roof. Already comes with a spare tire, which probably might need to be replaced and best of all, four wheel drive.”

“Why does it look so… new?”

“Seller says he bought it from some dude who tried restoring it. Only selling it cause he doesn’t have a use for it.”

“Ah, I see. Is it the super bad engine?”

“D’ya mean its got the Narrowblock?”

This confused Aidan.

“What? Oh, right. The one that’s stupidly complicated and eats head gaskets?”

Calculator nodded.

“Yeah, but, not all of em do that on both banks. There’s also a 5.5 version that’s for sale but it was too expensive.”

“How do you…”

“We have to import it from Australia.”

Aidan nodded. “Oh. I guess this is the best we can do with our budget.”

Calculator shut the Ipad off. “This one came from South Africa and someone imported it to Ireland, It’s over in Galway. I called the guy and he said we can come by sometime later today.”

“Wonderful, Ask him if he’s gonna be able to see us at 12. Let’s get in the car lads!”

The three men exited the shop and got into Aidan’s '08 Union Tornado and headed off to Galway.

---

Two Hours Later

Galway, County Galway, Ireland.

Local time: 12:49 PM

Weather: Sunny and Clear

---

The Magistrate was sitting in the driveway in all it’s American glory. This would be the ideal car, Big V8, floaty suspension and loads o’ room.

Aidan walked up to the front door and knocked. A man came to the door.

“You here for the car?”

Aidan nodded. “Yup. We got the money ready.”

The man smiled. “Great, this thing’s been clutterin’ up me driveway for the past month. I’m glad to see it go.”

Calculator and Bushwhacker waited in the car, while the man showed Aidan around the Magistrate.

“You think Aidan’s happy that we’re goin’ on this rally?” Bushwhacker asked.

“I think he is, just look at him. He’s grinnin’ from ear to ear.”

Chuckling, Bushwhacker laid against the back seat of the Tornado.

“I think we made a wise choice. This estate that we’re buying looks quite good. Oh, and here he comes.”

Aidan came up to the window.

“How on Earth did you two get this good a deal?”

Bewilderment hit both men in the car.

“What?”

“Yeah, The interior isn’t torn up too much, just a little muddy and dusty from the South African climate and get this, the heater and the A/C works too.”

Bushwhacker poked his head through the gap between the seats.

“Holy shit!”

“I’m as shocked as you two are.”

---

The Car

1979 Union Motors Magistrate V8 Vanguard Safari 4x4

Purchased from Galway Ireland. Modified extensively in Dublin, Ireland at JDM Specialists.

List of modifications:

Additional 10 gallon auxiliary fuel tank along side the standard 30 gallon. (Both are separate, the filler neck for the number two fuel tank is under the hood.)

Hydropneumatic suspension (Aftermarket modification, came with the car)

Raised Roof (Standard on this model)

All Terrain Tires (Brand new, replaced the old ones. Still standard for the car though)

Roof Rack came with the car. Two powerful spotlights sourced from an old Sisu Nasu are installed on a custom lightbar.

Replaced missing headlight.

Decals

Engine retuned to run on Kerosene (Thanks to Owen’s maths and Aidan’s mechanic skills and making the exhaust system dual piped it still makes 185HP)

Fixed the door locks and replaced the battery.

Off road bash plate to reinforce the skid tray.

Loudspeaker

Car tent (Factory option, similar to how a Pontiac Aztek has one)

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Supplies:

Two 5 gallon jugs of water one for coolant the other for the drivers and the dog.

4 cans of engine oil.

Spare headgaskets, fuel lines, filters, air filters, cabin air filters.

Ammunition. 40 boxes (9mm, .45 ACP, .44 Magnum, 12 gauge shotgun shells, 7.62x51mm, 5.56mm, 7.62x39mm)

Luggage.

Max’s tent.

Traction mats made from old wood

6 cans of Kerosene. Several water canteens and bottles.

Spare radiators on the rack.

More Pics

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TO BE CONTINUED (Yes I know, its long, It won’t be this long when the challenge starts.)

[MrdjaNikolen]

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Members

Notes

First three members are all humans or human-based ( 2) comes to mind) and they are white

Expect that i might use either first person or third person view while talking in these posts; im both one of members of group and one willing to type all this IRL.

Last three have surname Mravolinski Loojoephantom

Everyone knows Serbian language and everyone but 2) know English

And yes, we know no stupid terms such as dog years- everyone has age expressed in human years.

Everyone is generally friendly and somewhat safe to approach. They tend to stick together

1) Mrdja
Role: Navigator, Supplies
Age: 23y

So im supposed to describe myself?
Fine.
There are glasses with rectangular frame as well, accessory needed because of my bad sight.
Its fair to say im kinda chubby atm: would be perfectly fine if im like 75-80 kg, but im not of such mass, as you could see from pic directly below paragraph. Pic also notes my height.
I have brown eyes and dark brown hair.

Some of that might be muscle but its mostly fat tissue making me wide.
Im not much of fighter or somewhat strong individual either, especially not in presence of our two youngest members.

I studied electronics through high school and uni, but im not good at repairing anything.
Serbian is my maternal language and obviously im fluent in English, but i also had some Russian some 8-12y ago - not much stayed tho.
Im also car enthusiast, which might not help too much here, but its there to be mentioned
Ironically, i drove car with stick two times in my life and on straight road.

Doesnt really help that i can be considered kinda picky in terms of food, this might be issue, but this adventure surely would be exciting.
Since i tend to sweat a lot, lower temperatures of environment would be prefered over hotter ones.

Ofc my knowledge of event as member of group would be limited on data that would be gathered through interaction with other participants, so my IRL knowledge about it shouldnt worry anyone.
Will try not breaking fourth wall either

2) Pi Čitko (Pee Chitco)
Roles: Potential winch, living shield and supplies
Age: 23

It would be difficult to explain as to how this individual is technically based on 1) even tho their appearance, knowledge, skills and potential usefulness would differ a lot, but trust me on that one

She is 1.73m tall, has length of about a meter and weighs 88kg

She can be described as mix of two humans that resembles centaurs in terms of build, done in very Frankenstein-like way: to rear end of first body is attached second one, being parralel to the ground. Rear legs are under 90 degrees to that and are of same length as front ones.
Frankenstein feel extends to the fact she is full of scars all over the body.

She only speaks Serbian, but doesnt know how to read or write in any language. Being ironically named after math constant, despite knowing only addition and subtraction in 0-10 range.

Death is just part of life here and she isnt going to be scared of being rebuilt, or scared of anything for that matter.
Generally care-free and more than ready to sacrifice herself for someone else.

3) VerBanka
Age: 23y, but younger than 1) and 2)
Roles: Navigator, Supplies
Appearance:

She is nice looking girl of slim build, although feel free to take it with doubt, since she is Mrdja’s highschool crush, so opinion might be biased.
Before you ask, feelings arent mutual, but this is fine on both sides, friendship exists.
Has brown hair and brown eyes.

As for knowledge and skills she brings into the group, there is nothing that would be really unique to her and definitely considered useful in this instance, its just nice having her there.
Language skills are similar to mine and for same languages too.
She is Mechanical Engineering student, but i doubt that would help here.

4) Klimentol Stariji (Climentol Senior)
Age: 13
Role: Yes (Fighter, Mechanic, Driver etc.)
He prefers to act like a human and usually is 2m tall, standing on his rear legs.
Mass is 100kg.

Most versatile member of group after Aydar, being very skilled driver and can repair both electro-mechanical stuff on one hand and living beings (humans, has some experience with dogs) on the other.
Tbf he would usually rely on abundant resources and high technology items, which may be an issue - he do be adaptable tho.
Speaks Swedish, German, English and Russian.

By extracting urine under high pressure, he can fly and cut opponents in half
Has superior fighting experience to previously mentioned

5) Čikota Stariji (Chicota Senior)
Age: 11
Roles: Driver, Mechanic, Fighter etc.
Measurements: 2m tall, 100kg mass
Android robot, appearance of 80kg young adult human, can shapeshift and divide to get appearance of something or someone lighter than him-not likely he would utilise this too much tho.

As it is with his creator, 4) on the list, Chicota is skilled mechanic (but only for electro-mechanical stuff) and capable driver.
Another English speaker
Has few jet engines inside of him, allowing him flight

He is easy-going individual by behaviour, which kinda hides the fact he is made for fighting bad guys and he enjoys fighting.
True, his opponents were never on same level as him (think armored and weaponised humans and dogs the size of Klimentol), but there were many of them.
More relevant for story is his infinite tolerance to alcohol and fact drinking alcohol is one of his interests.

6. Aydar Junior
   Role: He can do anything needed - Driver, mechanic, doctor, fighter
   Age: 9y
   Also 2m tall/long and weighs 100 kg.

This pup of mutated dog exibits very insane characteristics indeed.
By far strongest, (likely) toughest and fastest member of team, having same knowledge as Klimentol and being dead-serious is combination for success.

Klimentol would hardly be described as weak, but Aydar Junior packs more noticeable muscle despite similar size and mass to said ancestor - there is like 6 or 7 generations separating these two.

Originally oldest members, that would be replaced by 1) and 3) in final team composition
They also appeared in prologue and most of adventures in US

a) Ludžo Stariji (Loodjoe Senior)
Role: Supplies, Navigation to some extent
Age: 80y old dog
He is completely gray, in same sense that can be applied to hair of old humans.
Also is 1.5m long and has 50kg to move around.
He prefers to use all 4 legs to move around, but can stand up like human.

Knows tad bit of Russian and ofc can communicate with normal dogs.
His navigational skills would relate to decades he spent as stray dog, travelling through Europe.
He can extract urine under very high pressure, allowing him some kind of flight and this ability can be used as weapon - can consistently cut humans in half if continuous stream.

b) Siviko (both CV-Co and Civic-oh work here)
Age: about 50
Roles: Hunter, Navigator
Appearance: Grey cat of 50kg, standing upright might give him 1.5m height
Adopted son of a), being small kitten Loodjoe found and decided to adopt and raise…while travelling around.

He isnt confirmed to know Russian, but his knowledge and experience match his friend, father and mentor described above, so he is likely going to accompany Loodjoe on whatever job.

Like Loojoe, he prefers using all 4 legs to move around.

Car

This would be specially modified Kontir Cunningham 1.9 from 1995

Modifications include:
4 tanks of 76 liters each for water, fuel and some cheap beer for Chicota
-2 water tanks are in bed and two under the hood. They are grey
-Beer is marked red and is entirely in bed
-2 tanks of fuel are under bed and two are in bed. These can be recognised by black color

2 spare tires
Roll-down net for kinda closing rear end
Roll-down rear glass which would allow going directly from cab to bed.
Tool box thats between cab (down) and additional space above cab (up)
4 boxes for stashing clothes and food mostly

Its 6 seater by virtue of having two bench seats.
Additional space above cab also has lower parts of three
back seats they found out for cheap and one complete back seat, which can be used for resting or as alternative way of sleeping while on the move.

They also found some cheap bicycle and yet another, this time full back seat that was sneakily supposed to be place for said bicycle. It was imagined that few members of group who can ride it can use it for supplies, if need be.
Said back seat can also serve as resting point of sorts, when its not occupied by bike

These might give you deeper understanding of position of some stuff in vehicle

Prologue, backstory -whatever rocks your boat

In Belgrade, Serbia

Klimentol: Hmm, after some thought i realized something. I dont have some kind of vehicle to drive in.
Like, be real.
Everyone else commanding some country in the world has something to drive himself or herself in and i, emperor of technologically most advanced country in world, dont have such thing.

Loojoe: Well young one, you could have easily made such vehicle if you so desired.

Klimentol: Im supposed to travel to America for some discussion about nanotechnology. How am i supposed to travel around there?
Some Mr. Texas presented himself as promising figure.

Loojoe: You could save some money and buy car.
It should fit us all.

Klimentol: ???

Loojoe: I never been to that America and i do be 80y old.
Also my drive for travel might be itching again.

Siviko: Ye, we are now way too old to go on paws. Death can catch us at any point.
Unlike my biological family, i have choice for proper funeral and plan to use it.

Klimentol: That doesnt seem to be good condition to go travelling.
But since i might want some company, will bring you too.
Added benefit is that i could fix you up if something happens-i studied anatomy of cats for some time.
Granpa was already on my operating table and his body holds no secrets for me.

Pi appeared when she heard the convo going

Pi: Some member of Chitco family is supposed to go to…uh…dont know the place, but i know someone must go. And its in US.

Klimentol: Afaik most of them are busy or straight up not interested to go there just to travel through few boring dealerships.
Except…hmm, i got an idea.
We could take YOU there.

Pi: Im stupid.

Klimentol: And yet noone found reasoning to disassemble you, even tho you were supposed to work for just one singular job. People accept your stupidity and ugliness for such simple, open person.
Dont tell me you have better job to do.

Pi: Mrdja might complain.

*Before you ask, yes, Mrdja is me, myself and i.
Quick call to said Mrdja had disproven Pi’s thoughts.
With that said, they started mentally and physically preparing forjournsey ahead.

Few days later at one Kontir dealership in America

Worker: Hey! (chuckling, throws phone at Pi. Happily Klimentol catched it before its untimely kiss with the wall) Mail!

Pi: Thanks. (Started listening to it. One mail had attracted her attention)
Some rally thing…Wot

Worker: Uh…i may or may have not searched for Dakar while doing some job here.
Also i think i accidentally redirected some mails to your mail adress.

Pi: Makes sense.
This prob seems dangerous tho. (Turned screen so worker can read for himself)

Worker: Yup, i have family and they cant afford to lose me. Cool idea tho, someone should try it.

(Screeching of tires was heard from outside. There they saw car doing donuts on parking lot.
When it stopped, Chicota exited the car and got towards the building.)

Loojoe: We are gonna go rallying.
(Explains mail)

Klimentol: No we arent. I still need to do that nanomachine-related meeting.

Chicota: With, i guess, me?
I saw such mail about rally btw earlier and thought it would be exciting- more exciting than with Mrdja and his ABC friends.
Can bet your partner there was some Lamar Texas.

Klimentol: (Checks mail, confirming Chicota was correct )
So i had fallen into kinda trap.
Oh well, tbf i also kinda miss excitement that proper adventure can bring.
But before you say anything more, we would need to find a car suitable for travel.
I might consider keeping said vehicle for myself to use or give it away to Mrdja and Nev to use, that is, if it kinda survives this whole ordeal.

(They went outside and witnessed another employee talking with manager)

Getting a car

Employee: Im here to buy new car. This one served me well from beggining until now, but i now want something more comfier and plusher.
Do you accept trade-ins and if yes, how much decrease in price for new one i could expect?

Manager: We do trade-ins but, as you already know full well yourself, we would not accept that car.
You could say stuff like: “Im its first and only owner” or “It was routinely serviced” , but essence is not going to be changed.
-We cant resell it
-Noone of staff would be interested in driving it, which might include yourself when you get used to whatever other car you get.
My suggestion is: Keep it.

Employee: But my driveway cant fit two cars.

Manager: Sorry if i come up as rude, but that isnt exactly either my problem or something i could help you with.

Employee: I understand your point, but can you please make an exception in this case?
Im begging you.
Please.
I might consider buying another Kontir.

Manager: You know the rules and so do i
im gonna give you up, im gonna let you down
Im gonna turn around and desert you

(Acompanied by actual turning around and leaving. Employee started crying.)

Pi approached the guy.
Pi: -What seems to be an issue?
E: -They dont want to accept my car for trade-in.
P: -Any known reason why?
E: --Well…its 1.9 version…with 156 hp…wait, why am i telling you this?
Pi: -Maybe bcos i had shown interest in it. We plan on doing a rally and would need a car.
Since there are five of us, better make sure car in question is somewhat capable of fitting us all.
This seems like adequate choice.

Klimentol: There is in fact reason as to why ppl wouldnt want that. I just checked and it has over 2100 kilograms. It has very small power compared to what it needs to move.

Pi: It has 156 hp…that seems like a lot.

Klimentol: Same goes for its mass. Wait, why am i arguing with YOU in region where i hold definitive knowledge advantage?

Pi: Heh we cant be picky. It was said that we could use only 2k to get something.

Employee: I never said im that desparate.

Klimentol: You might decide to be tho. Noone in US would be interested in such combo of small engine in big car and its way too big for…anywhere else
Wait…Why im agreeing with Pi?

Pi: I was wondering that myself. Seems that we are desparate for car.
Its not like you are cash-strapped anyway.

Employee: Will need to think about it.
(Left so he could start his shift.)

Manager: I found some info. We might give him 1k of turn-in value.

Pi: Doubt he would find it acceptable.

M: And so wouldnt we, knowing full well it would just take unecessary space on parking lot.

Indeed, he wasnt happy. Out of two evils, he chose lesser one and parted with truck for 1.5k from our group. This also had benefit of not occupying one more parking space.

Group worked tirelessly to adapt it to their wants and needs, dictated by email they got.
Ironically, they were often working beside one of car mechanics-and previous owner of very vehicle they are prepping.

They found some neighbor who got new gate and decided to get rid of old one, which was promptly taken, checked for rust, repainted and put/welded on vehicle.

Some old seats also got second life as alternative accomodation-turns out that getting to them wouldnt be as comfortable or elegant as originally hoped, but they would be included regardless.
There were thoughts about engine swap, but it was decided that current engine might be just fine.

And so, they got on road in incomplete vehicle.
Taking turns, Chicota and Klimentol would fit everything in place, with occasional help from others (help towards Chicota was mostly composed of bringing him beer; Klimentol was more serious) while another one was behind the wheel.

And so we leave this part with them driving towards start line, in unfinished vehicle and with incomplete supplies. Only complete thing seemed to be chaos.

[Caligari]

Meet team Wayfarer and their behemoth “Chernobog”.

Team Wayfarers:

Jill Willow-Wright: 34 year old human witch, native of Crugandr. A fan of meeting new people, trying new food, world hopping translocation and arcana. She’s the navigator and healer.

Jack Willow-Wright: 38 year old human mechanic, native of Inverness. Met Jill when she opened a portal to find the legendary Nessie, and subsequently trashed her rental car on the B roads while getting there. He’s the driver and mechanic.

Rufus Willow-Wright: 9 year old Siamese Flame point cat. Family pet, familiar and the face of the team: his charisma and soft belly are irresistible.

One week before the start date.

Jill stared at the ancient truck sitting in their drive way, unable to take her eyes off it.

“No. No, you didn’t.”

“I did, though,” Jack said, grinning.

“You’re joking. You didn’t go out and waste our money on…,” she sputtered, waving her hands in the direction of the truck, “ …that thing!”

“I’m as serious as a heart attack,” Jack replied, giving the bumper a hearty pat, sending flakes of rust tumbling onto the floor. They both watched their progress, and then looked back at each other. Jack brushed at the mess awkwardly with one foot, and plunged on with his pitch.

“It may not look like much, but this thing is gonna win us that rally!”

“It’s an absolute lemon!” She cried out, walking towards him. “Look at the state of it! Where did you even find it?”

“I met a bloke at the pub,” James said, rather sheepishly, hoping Jill wouldn’t make too much of that revelation. “He said he worked at the local quarry, and one thing led to another…”

“You mean one drink led to another,” Jill said, giving Jack a mean side eye.

“Yes, well, anyway,” he said, trying to hurry the conversation along onto safer ground. “He said the board finally splurged for a set of new trucks, so they were selling the old ones off dirt cheap.”

“And just how much did you spend on this thing?!” Jill cried out.

“A couple of grand… “ Jack mumbled, “but don’t you worry! This isn’t just for the rally! Once we win, I’ll convert it into a cozy camper that you’ve always dreamed about!”

Jill sighed, looking over the truck once more. The bed in the back was huge - it really would make for a pretty sweet camper conversion. They could finally road trip to all the places she had told Jack about without worrying about him getting charmed or eaten.

“Will it even make it to the first stage? It looks like a complete mess.”

“On the outside, sure. There’s surface rust everywhere. But they maintained it very well mechanically. Besides, it really is quite a simple truck, anyway. Not much on it that can go wrong, and when it does, you could fix it with some gum and a hammer.”

Jack rummaged around in his pocket, and produced a crumpled wad of paperwork.

“Take a look for yourself.”

Jill took the wad, straightened it out, and got stuck in. Jack wasn’t exaggerating, as far as she could tell: the service booklet stapled to the corner of the page was absolutely stuffed with receipts. Behind it was an import certificate, indicating that the truck was shipped over about thirty years ago. Flipping on to the printed out spec sheet at the very end, she took in the technical details: the truck was built in 1970, sporting a basic and thirsty carburettored 6l v8, a ladder chassis, steel body work and a suspension setup borrowed from a horse and carriage. However, it came equipped with all terrain tyres, lockable diff, four wheel drive and an overbuilt set of hydro-pneumatic shocks. There’s even a sleeper cab in the back, so they could save some money on hotel rooms (and on Jack’s medical bills).

“Eastern bloc special, as you call it?” she asked, still reading.

“You got it,” Jack nodded, “must have been a long distance hauler in its past life.”

Jill read on a moment longer, and finally put the paper down.

“Fine then. We only have a few days to get this thing ready for the rally. Let’s start.”

“You got it, ma’am.” Jack beamed, relieved. Their couch wasn’t very comfortable, and he wasn’t looking forward to spending the next week sleeping on it.

“And if either Rufus or I get tetanus from that truck, I’m going to polymorph you into a newt.”

[Knugcab]

I love that truck!

[Caligari]

Thanks! It is gloriously outdated, thirsty and janky but it has a lot of character, haha.

[Madrias]

Wow, a lot of new entries overnight (well, a lot of teams and the first early vehicle submission - I’ll check that out a bit later).

@Caligari - Kudos for going with a witch from Crugandr. I’ll reply to your PM with the vehicle submission once I’ve checked it out with some potentially useful information regarding things she should know, if she’s from this point in time. Also, really, really cool truck.

@MrdjaNikolen - An interesting team to say the least. Definitely more “out there” than I was anticipating, but I’ll do my best to work with them.

@TheYugo45GV - Always fun to have a team of normal humans among all the chaos. And I like that Owen’s suspicious. After all, that none of them know “Team Shift Happens” and yet that email got to them anyway would make some people nervous.

@AndiD - Not weird at all by my standards. As for Mr. McMillan, oh, he’s not going to enjoy Crugandr, because they’re still in their Age of Steam.

---

So, with all of that out of the way, I have to say, this is already starting to look like it’s going to be interesting. I’m tempted to add a fifth character to my team (Jayde Malradi, Aetheriian Leoni (basically, they become the Panthirians some 7,000 or more years later), who comes from the world they’re going to (Well, not from the nation of Crugandr, but from Aetherii, certainly) and has a certain talent with magic. Because most of my start is written already, he’s going to arrive at the starting party, which means while I will put together his profile like I did the others, you won’t get to meet him until the event starts.

[TheYugo45GV]

@TheYugo45GV

Mascot: Gunther the Rottweiler.

Age: 5

Profile: Gunther is Karl’s dog that he takes with him on hikes. Gunther is extremely intelligent for his kind as he can understand English, knows how to communicate, though he can’t speak since he’s a dog. He’s average weight for his species weighing 55lbs.

Updated Gunther’s profile. We’ll get to know him better in the near future.

[interior]

Are talking dogs allowed?

[MrdjaNikolen]

Lol.

We have so many mythical creatures here and its indeed very varied field.

I will commit self plug and note that my team has five members- three of which would be talking animals (two dogs and cat).

So i guess its fair game.

[TheYugo45GV]

Heh, I was planning on going with Extraterrestrials also but I decided not cause I couldn’t come up with any ideas. But who knows, I might incorporate some later.

[TheYugo45GV]

@TheYugo45GV

1979 Union Motors Magistrate V8 Vanguard Safari 4x4

And I just now realized that my car has the wrong plates. Damn.

[Madrias]

@interior Yes. As I said, I’m really not putting too many restrictions on creativity here, and I don’t want to get in the way of someone’s possible role-playing ideas just by saying “No, you can’t do that” when I’ve been known to drop androids and aliens into other people’s challenges. So, talking animals are quite allowed.

@MrdjaNikolen Exactly, there’s a lot of creativity in the field. Aliens, talking animals, magical humans, non-magical humans, classic fantasy characters, and we haven’t even really hit the true opening of the challenge yet. Personally, I’m glad to see this.

@TheYugo45GV Just as long as you have space in your car and no more than 5 actual team members, that’s fine. If they’re just riding along and not contributing, they don’t count. And as for the license plates, well, you haven’t sent in the car yet, so you’ve got plenty of time to change that if you want to.

---

---

Also, new game update dropped. Those of you with vehicles partially or completely built may want to double-check your stats just to be safe. I know that we’re all running natural engines with no added boost, but weird things happen between updates, and a car that may have been ‘perfect’ before may have some issues now.

Luckily, it seems that prices haven’t been affected enough to justify a bump upwards in the budget, but some numbers did end up changing by a little bit.

[TheYugo45GV]

@Madrias

And as for the license plates, well, you haven’t sent in the car yet, so you’ve got plenty of time to change that if you want to.

I’ll fix it anyway and I’ll also update the pictures in my introduction post.

[AndiD]

Should starting numbers be mandatory?