Automation Roll To Dodge

Off Topic
21

Previous roll: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=6254&start=10#p70567

conan:

Walk down the dirt road to find some civilization.

You roll a: 4

As you walk down the road, you spot some sort of village. Not a primitive village, not at all. They seem to be all mechanised, and there are satellite dishes on their houses. To your left you see some local convenience store and some houses, with some fields and some barns behind them, and so on. To the right you see a small playground, consisting of a swing set and a slide. You also see some more houses. Further down the dirt road, is a kinda sizable wooden church. Everybody seems to be assembled there, it seems like there is some sort of a mass.

titleguy1:

Go and help the guy who fell from the tree. If he’s hurt, maybe I could help him.

You roll a: 2

Oh yes, he is hurt. There’s something going on with his ankle. After reassuring that guy you want to help him, you get to the close examination of the injury, you determine…you can’t do shit. Really, you have no idea on how to help him.

EnryGT5:

Jump on the Haulage and hijack it

You roll a: 4

Car was moving slowly enough not to injure you. You managed to land a jump on the maroon truck. You even manage to open the door and get inside.
-You, what are you doing? - the Bogliq said to you - You are not my partner. Get out, before I stun you.
The Haulage then stopped.
-So many morons in here - it said to itself - Look, I’ll give you more time than to that guy there.

pyrlix:

Examine the New Beetle and try to drive it.

You roll a: 3

Yes, it seems to be drivable. It has all the moving parts, you even manage to pop the hood, and see a real engine and battery and all, albeit scaled down proportionally. There’s one problem though. It’s one third the normal size. There no way you can fit inside. Now you know how Your Mom™ feels… Sorry, that was inappropiate for me.

PhilipM:

Walk over to Adolf, and give him a lecture on how many parts the buggy has had to have because his beloved Beetle was crap.

You roll a: 5

The more and more you talk about the issues with his air-cooled wonder, the more and more shocked the expression on his face gets. Can you imagine, his perception of his idea shattered, because of even some impure sub-human being able to point out the issues.
-Nein! Zis…zis can’t be…! - Adolf was now crying. - I haven’t felt zat vay since my paintings vere rejected!
Seems like your words hurt him. Literally. He’s also shocked, meaning the first person to get attacked by him, gets +1 to dodging the attack

strop:

In that space of time, attempt first aid by taking off my shirt and fashioning it into a splint bandage for my ankle.

You roll a: 1

Now, I won’t claim making a bandage requires channeling some ninja skills and that that very same guy distracted you again. That’s not true actually. You just suck at it. As you tighten the bandage, you hear some disturbing sound from your ankle, and it hurts even worse than previously - You further lose 3 HP in the process, and get -1 to any rolls involving using the…which leg is it? Say, the left one.

[size=85]Character info:

Player Characters:

strop
HP: 32/40
Equipment: None
Extra: -1 to using the left leg.

titleguy1
HP: 40/40
Equipment: None

conan
HP: 36/40
Equipment: None

pyrlix
HP:40/40
Equipment: Pouch full of old golden coins, cursed Alfa Romeo ring
Extra: +1 to dodging magic attacks (force field)

EnryGT5
HP:40/40
Equipment: Branch
Extra: +1 to raw strength rolls

PhilipM
HP:40/40
Equipment: None

NPCs:

Rattata
HP:0/5 (dead)
Equipment: Unknown

BITT (Bogliq Industries Two Thousand)
HP:60/60
Equipment: Unknown

Phantom Adolf Hitler
HP:21/30
Equipment: Staff, capable of turning matter into New Beetles
Extra: Shocked - first person to get attacked by him, gets +1 to dodging the attack[/size]

22

I was a bit disappointed, because instead of finding Civilization V key for free. I found instead some actual civilization. But at least it’s a quiet one, I guess I can steal something from here. When there’s people, there’s valuable. I walk towards the barn that in behind the field for some reason, I’m not even sure why.

Action: Look in the barn to steal another car.

23

“This is bullshit!” I exclaimed. Perhaps I alone was to blame for my recklessness and sheer bad luck. Yes, bad luck, that’s all it was. Maybe that ankle was more than just a sprain… What did they say about lame horses and the glue factory? Like hell that’ll happen to me!

Well, priorities had been established. Better see if I can get some help hitching a ride to the nearest town for some actual treatment.

ACTION: ask Titleguy for help getting to the Haulage. Time for some 3 legged action!

P.s. fuck me, double one!? Oh how I wish either of those could have let me roll to dodge…

24

OT: a double one? I think this is the first one you have got.

25

Oh yeah, my bad. It’s a 3, 2, and a 1. Not a stellar start to the day :stuck_out_tongue:

26

“Look, I’ll give you more time than to that guy there.” What?! You’re actually sentient?! So… you can listen to me! I’ll explain…

Action: Ask BITT to drive me down the road i saw another guy take

27

Damn, i though i could squeeze in in someway… but there was a guy screaming something like “FINALLY”, maybe he found a village. I should find someone there and ask what these gold coins are, maybe they are of worth and can bring me finally home. Or i could buy some steaks, sausages and a grill and make some food for those other people who dick around the tree.

Action;: Go to the village and ask someone about those gold coins.

28

The more I tell Adolf about the issues with his car, the more upset he gets, when I tell him about putting a watercooled honda engine in, he breaks down crying uncontrollably.
I go to pat him on the shoulder, but remember he just tried to turn someone into a car, and he IS Hitler after all, so I tell him that we use his beloved aircooled engine to prop the door open on warm days, and then kick him in the nuts instead.

ACTION: Kick Hilter in the nuts whilst he’s crying.

29

OOC: Hey, if Hitler has a -1 dodge and Phil rolls a 6, what happens then? :stuck_out_tongue:

30

Blimey!

It isn’t unusual for me to have dreams within dreams, and this clearly is another one of those. A driverless pickup truck talking to someone, an hologram of Adolf Hitler going around, and wait, someone is trying to kick him in the nuts, some dude running around screaming, a fully grown adult trying to get into a clowns car and a, what is that, horse with a shirt trying to mend its ankle, or is it just another person? What the fuck? But it all seems too real for a dream, oh well, better stop drinking coffee and red bull at night then.

Action: Try to go back to sleep, to assert myself that I’m just dreaming.

31

Well, the makeshift bandage the guy used didn’t work after telling him I couldn’t help him. I see Hitler crying in the background, and laugh inside. I saw one guy try to drive a 1/3 scale Beetle, and actually did laugh (I think he gave me a stink-eye). Apparently, the other guy managed to find a whole village that seems to be modern. That must be a place we should visit; but with caution.

Action: Walk down to the village with precaution and examine the area, look for more clues around.

32

I suddenly wake up under a tarpaulin on some flat metal but as I remove the cover I find that it is in fact a pickup bed. How in the world did I get here … ? I can hear other people, I guess that’s what woke me.
Looking closer there is a guy behind the steering wheel but he seems to be talking to the truck… and around us there are more people and some Hilter ghost?? I must be having the weirdest dream of my life, nothing else explains it, but I decide to just roll with it, it’s not like trying to wake up ever worked for anyone. So is there anything useful here?

Action: Search the Bogliq’s bed

33

Previous roll: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=6254&start=20#p70667

conan:

Look in the barn to steal another car.

You roll a: 3

You get into the first barn you find, hoping for a nice barn find. Maybe an oldtime Jaguar, or an Alpine, or the original Cossack 1000…Nah, these have all rusted, nevermind. Instead, you find a Lambo. New, shiny, silver Lamborghini…tractor. Well. Not quite what you expected.

strop:

ask Titleguy for help getting to the Haulage. Time for some 3 legged action!

You roll a: 5

Well, even though Titleguy ignored your plea for help, you still were able to drag yourself towards the pickup. You saw a dude getting out of the truck in haste, tripping and falling to the ground.
-The nerve of some people. - The car apparently says to itself, and then turns to you. - You. You look injured - well, “thank you Captain Obvious”, you think - I gotta take you to the hospital.
The car opens its passenger door, and a LED array under the windshield lights up, displaying a mirrored “AMBULANCE”
-Hop in.

EnryGT5:

Ask BITT to drive me down the road i saw another guy take

You roll a: 2

-Yo, you gotta drive down that road and follow that guy you just electrocuted!
-Do I have “TAXI” written on my body? - The Haulage replies with annoyance in its voice - I am not impressed.
You have a feeling you know what happens next.

ROLL TO DODGE the BITT zapping you!

You roll a: 3

Well, you quickly got out the Bogliq. I mean, you did trip on the way out, losing 1 HP in progress, but that, that is better than getting zapped.

pyrlix:

Go to the village and ask someone about those gold coins.

You roll a: 4

-Yes, yes - an elderly gentleman replies upon seeing the coins. - They are very old, from the fifteenth century. I know my shit Now, I won’t buy them from you, I can’t afford them, but you can expect some money from them. Now please, don’t disturb my participation in the mass. - he tells you off calmly - You’re standing in the way of my salvation, you understand.

PhilipM:

Kick Hilter in the nuts whilst he’s crying.

You roll a: 1

You try to get a good hit on Adolf’s nuts…ermm, a single nut actually. Your right leg goes upward, your right foot is ready for the groin attack. Then however your left foot decided to overcome the friction of the ground. Yes, I’m saying you slipped on something, and instead of kicking Hitler, you fell flat on your ass and lost 1 HP. Hitler, still with tears in his eyes, decided to put his staff to a good use.

ROLL TO DODGE the Hitler’s magic attack!

You roll a: 5 + 1 (6)

You quickly move away from the sphere of transformation into a VW New Beetle. You notice it bounces off of the ground, and starts gliding back towards the Fuehrer. In an instant, his right ear turned into a right mirror, his phantom left hand turned into the entire left front suspension assembly of a New Beetle, and the nut (and it’s surroundings) you wanted to kick him in, turned into a shift stick.
-Ich like it. Vould you like to learn to stick schift?
…
-Haha, just kidding, DIE! - And he prepares for another attack.

Leonardo9613:

Try to go back to sleep, to assert myself that I’m just dreaming.

You roll a: 3

Blimey!

You did get some sleep… However, you found the ground to be kinda uncomfortable. And you woke up a bit later, to see the Hitler being partially turned into a VW himself.

titleguy1:

Walk down to the village with precaution and examine the area, look for more clues around.

You roll a: 4

You get stealthily into the village. Yes, you walked down the entire dirt road “stealthily”. You notice that man who IS THE POWER talking to some elderly gentleman, you spot an open barn with a lambo tractor inside. You decide to look through the window of one of the houses. What caught your attention is an old CRT TV, with a crucifix placed on top of it. It is turned on, but the only thing on the screen is the technical difficulties prompt, with a text scrolling on it, reading “We apologize for the difficulties, Strop has just destroyed our recording equipment”. You then remind yourself of what was on the tree. Could this really be true? Could this ninja really be named Strop? Did parents not love him or something?

T16:

Search the Bogliq’s bed

You roll a: 6

You decided to search through the Haulage’s bed very thoroughly. I mean, you were sleepy, so a bed was the first thing that came into your mind, I guess. You found a futuristic looking gun, all in bluish silver color, and having some pointy tip instead of a traditional gun barrel. You also find a bulletproof vest. Not only that. In your search you were so thorough, you’ve spotted a small maroon button in the tailgate (like, it was not sticking out), and decide to press it, hoping it would reveal an additional storage.
-Cargo securing in progress.
And you see some belts trying to tie you to the bed.

ROLL TO DODGE the BITT’s cargo securing feature!

You roll a: 2

Befor you realised what was going on, you were pinned against the truck’s bed. Well, at least it has not taken your stuff.

[size=85]Character info:

Player Characters:

strop
HP: 32/40
Equipment: None
Extra: -1 to using the left leg.

titleguy1
HP: 40/40
Equipment: None

conan
HP: 36/40
Equipment: None

pyrlix
HP:40/40
Equipment: Pouch full of old golden coins, cursed Alfa Romeo ring
Extra: +1 to dodging magic attacks (force field)

EnryGT5
HP:39/40
Equipment: Branch
Extra: +1 to raw strength rolls

PhilipM
HP:39/40
Equipment: None

Leonardo9613
HP: 40/40
Equipment: None

T16
HP: 40/40
Equipment: Futuristic looking gun, bulletproof vest
Extra: pinned - cannot move until you break free.

NPCs:

BITT (Bogliq Industries Two Thousand)
HP:60/60
Equipment: T16

Phantom VW Adolf Hitler
HP:15/30
Equipment: Staff, capable of turning matter into New Beetles
Extra: Transformed into a VW New Beetle partially.

Elderly gentleman Roland met
HP:25/25
Equipment: None[/size]

34

Looks fun :slight_smile: I’ll join
(I’m the one townsfolk who isn’t religious/at the mass for a background btw)
What’s that noise in my barn… What! That bastard is eying up my Tractor!

Action: Grab double barreled shotgun off mantle and threateningly approach Conan in the barn.

35

Well that went, I found some form of gun and a bulletproof vest… right until the point I pressed that stupid button. Now I’m strapped down so I can hardly move and it’s far form comfortable. While I searched the pickup bed I did notice that the guy behind the wheel got out in a hurry and the truck who is still talking? seems to have taken an interest in another guy with what appears to be a bad leg. Anyway better get out of this mess… maybe if I press that button again it will unstrap me.

Action: use the gun as an arm extension to press the cargo securing button again.

36

And Aaron joins the fray!

I peer out of the window from my small house in the village and see an unfamiliar face wandering around.
“Hmm, I wonder what brings him here… Nothing ever happens here” I was oblivious to the current goings on, so, being the easy-going guy that I am, I go downstairs and get some lunch just like a normal day.

Action: Eat lunch and prepare to go outside for a nice stroll.
[size=50]I hope I am doing this right…[/size]

37

I suddenly jolt awake in a grassy field. “Ugh… where the heck am I? This isn’t my bedroom…” I suddenly notice the chaos going on all around me, the dead Rattata, the BITT, and the partially transformed phantom Hitler. “What the actual frick?” Then I spy the dirt road. “Hm. Maybe I can follow it and go back home. Time to put my Cross Country skills to good use!”

Action: Jog along the dirt road. (In the opposite direction of the village)

38

Right, that hasn’t gone well. My head hurts and my body isn’t at its freshest. However, I must conclude that I really am here. What sort of distorted place am I in?

And everyone seems to be going to the same direction, everyone but this new guy who wasn’t here before. Also, I have a faint memory of someone yelling that they found a village. I’d better get away from this place, that has nothing but a dead pokemon, a transformer car, which, I can’t really tell, has the worst half. Well, anyway, away from here I go.

Action: Follow everyone in the direction of the village and get away from Herr Beetle.

39

Well, that went terribly, I’ve hurt my leg, and although Adolf missed, he’s still got his staff. He is however, partially a VW Beetle. I decide to distract him whilst he’s trying to balance all the VW bits he’s turned himself into - and hope the guy waving the gun around in the rear of the pickup will help me out with my Hitler problem.

ACTION: Distract Hitler by telling him that the new VW bits are even worse than the old ones, and signal the guy with the gun for some help.

40

OOC: ahahaha brilliant outcomes this round (and a 5, yay, there’s hope for me yet… though I suspect it’s going to take a lot of work and luck to get my HP back…)

IC: Oh, sweet mercies! Something going my way at last. But given the capricious nature of this world, and especially this truck I’m apparently riding in, I better not get cocky.

ACTION: Thank the BITT profusely for picking me up. Ask it a bit about itself and this world.