Ack! cough Fucking truck. starts running I better go down that road now, i’ve been here for way too long, i heard someone talk about a village, guess i’ll find out what happened before or after, maybe i could steal a car that won’t try to zap my butt, even if it’s an old… an old… fuck this amnesia is killing me. I hope i can get my name back from the “Forgotten” folder soon.
Action: Run to the village as fast as my legs will carry me
Sweet, i have now a porch full of kinda valuable coins… but i still have this cursed Alfa Romeo Ring… DAMN.
Maybe i can gift it someone and tell a fantastic Story about it. But for that i Need to get to a bigger town or a place where a lot of tourists are.
There must be a table with postings about busses, Trains or a map somewhere here, most villages have it!
Action: Look for a table with a map or postings.
So, after seeing the TV, I wonder if that guy I accidently made fall was actually named [Strop]… And he apparently broke to equipment. So, Now, I investigate. I see a person walking downstairs in a house. I should ask a few questions.
Action: Politely ask [Pleb] about where I am and what kind of place this is.
From now on, if you don’t reply in 24h, I’ll assume you’re doing nothing.
Previous roll: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=6254&start=30#p70752
BeforeLifer:
Grab double barreled shotgun off mantle and threateningly approach Conan in the barn.
You roll a: 3
As you look around the house, you realise one sad thing. Not only was your tractor a target of theft, your shotgun also ended up being stolen. However, that won’t stop you will it? Maybe you’ll look threatening enough with your wife’s gas pistol? You take it, and approach Conan, who seems to be just standing there
T16:
use the gun as an arm extension to press the cargo securing button again.
You roll a: 5
At first, you had trouble freeing your arm at all. It was all pinned to the bed, with almost no freedom of movement at all. That almost was enough. You flawlessly freed your arm and pressed the button again.
-Cargo unsecuring in progress.
After a while, you were free. Not only that, but you’ve discovered you have a knack for escaping from such bindings. You now get +1 to such escaping rolls.
Shortly after that, the pickup drove off, and you see a a guy fighting with Hitler signalling you.
Pleb:
Eat lunch and prepare to go outside for a nice stroll.
You roll a: 5
Whoa. The lunch. It was delicious. It surely got you into the mood for the stroll. In fact, you were so goddamn happy, you just decided to sit on a bench and appreciate everything around you. And then you have spotted something shiny lying in the ground. It was a buttonsized round thingy. Made of silver apparently, but it seemed to have a faint reddish glow. There was a small B letter embossed into it. Then, you’ve heard some barking, and noticed the neighbor’s Fluffy has escaped again and is “playing” with a stranger. Maybe you should help him? Or maybe help the stranger?
Spitfire599:
Jog along the dirt road. (In the opposite direction of the village)
You roll a: 4
After a while of jogging, a maroon pickup truck passes you. Then, you see a largeish town (but not yet a city) popping in the distance.
Leonardo9613:
Follow everyone in the direction of the village and get away from Herr Beetle.
You roll a: 2
As you walk down the road to the village, you encounter a swarm of Rattatas, and a guy with a branch fighting them. You’ve walk around them, but, you don’t want to stomp on any of the mouse-like creatures and piss them all off.
PhillipM:
Distract Hitler by telling him that the new VW bits are even worse than the old ones, and signal the guy with the gun for some help…
You roll a: 3
It did not go that well this time, Hitler probably has decided he won’t take a shit from a guy who can’t even kick him in the nut properly. That, or he likes being a new Beetle too much. Though, your courage either startled and impressed him, so he won’t attack yes. The guy in the bed has seen you, but it took him some time to free himself, so he could not help you.
strop:
Thank the BITT profusely for picking me up. Ask it a bit about itself and this world.
You roll a: 5
-Me? I’m BITT, Bogliq Industries Two Thousand! First created as a marketing stunt by Bogliq, I then decided to put my unstoppable nature to use, found a perfect partner, and we fought crime. See. my partner disappeared by the way. He was investigating a disappearance of some metal musician, and the leads led him to somewhere here, you get me? - you nodded politely to BITT - You know? I saw you trying to leap off the tree. Of course, it did not end well, but, I recognised the distraction, and I recognised your channeling techniques. You see, I’m actually a good friend of the McHorse clan. - Then you remember, your father has indeed talked about a talking car friend, you’ve just never met BITT in person.
-Wait, does that mean…?
-Yes, my partner is Ports McHorse.
-Whoa, that’s my uncle.
-Take off your mask, equine fellow.
After you’ve shown your face to BITT, he replied:
-You look just like him when we first met. You gotta understand, we’ve been pals since I’ve decided to help the world, back in '82. You wanted to know bout this place, by the way? OK, we’re going to the Cossackburg (OOC: I have no knack for names, sorry), the biggest city in the region, with 85461 citizens, according to 2012 data. There seems to be a hospital there, which is why I’m taking you there, though, they also sell some fine petrol, and they have almost no motorbikes. Anyways, after we get out of hospital, we could team up, and find Ports? What do you say?
(BITT is now your ally, ordinary communicating with him is treated as an automatic success.)
EnryGT5:
Run to the village as fast as my legs will carry me
You roll a: 1
Turns out your legs won’t carry you that far. You have tripped over…another Rattata, losing 1 HP in progress, and obliterating the Poor mouse Pokemon. Then, you began hearing a lots of beeping. The grass around began shaking and wiggling as if there was an earthquake. And then one Rattata came out, and another, and another… Soon, the you were surronded by an entire swarm of them.
-YOU KILLED OUR BROTHER! - one of them shouted
-AGAIN! - another one added
…they, they actually speak?!
-Hah, you thought we were some dumb shits, because we don’t usually bring ourselves down to your indignified grunting you call a language? - another one asked, and then beeped something that you think probably means “primitive human”, if context is to be believed.
ROLL TO DODGE the swarm of Rattatas!
You roll a: 6
You immediately stand back up, and jump over the Pokemons. You then swing your branch, sending some of them flying and killing them. You then sadly notice, there are many, many more you’ve got to deal with.
pyrlix:
Look for a table with a map or postings.
You roll a: 5
You have indeed found such a table. You now not only know that a town, apparently called Cossackburg is nearby. You also know that a bus is arriving in an hour, and on the other side of the table, you have found a map with several locations marked. One of them is marked as “Hitler’s prison” and is exactly where you found the ring. Hmmm… has a real treasure hunt just begun?
titleguy1:
Politely ask [Pleb] about where I am and what kind of place this is.
You roll a: 1
As you were approaching a guy sitting on a bench and examining something, you heard some barking. Then you’ve turned, and a black doggie was running straight towards you. Now, it would not be that bad, if it didn’t have two heads, two sharp sets of teeth and was not trying to attack you. Yes, this is an excellent day for ya.
ROLL TO DODGE Fluffy’s attack!
You roll a: 2
A while later, the dog has bit your arm with both of its jaws. Crap. You lose 5 HP and get -1 to using that arm. And you still have a dog to deal with.
[size=85]Character info:
Player Characters:
strop
HP: 32/40
Equipment: None
Allies: BITT
Extra: -1 to using the left leg.
titleguy1
HP: 35/40
Equipment: None
Extra: -1 to using the right arm.
conan
HP: 36/40
Equipment: None
pyrlix
HP:40/40
Equipment: Pouch full of old golden coins, cursed Alfa Romeo ring
Extra: +1 to dodging magic attacks (force field)
EnryGT5
HP:38/40
Equipment: Branch
Extra: +1 to raw strength rolls
PhilipM
HP:39/40
Equipment: None
Leonardo9613
HP: 40/40
Equipment: None
T16
HP: 40/40
Equipment: Futuristic looking gun, bulletproof vest
Extra: +1 to freeing yourself.
BeforeLifer
HP: 40/40
Equipment: Gas pistol
Spitfire599
HP: 40/40
Equipment: None
Pleb
HP: 40/40
Equipment: A weird button-shaped thing.
NPCs:
BITT (Bogliq Industries Two Thousand)
HP:60/60
Equipment: None
Phantom VW Adolf Hitler
HP:15/30
Equipment: Staff, capable of turning matter into New Beetles
Extra: Transformed into a VW New Beetle partially.
Elderly gentleman Roland met
HP:25/25
Equipment: None
Fluffy
HP:15/15
Equipment: None
A swarm of Rattatas
HP:38/40
Equipment: None
Extra: Swarm - Attacks do less damage to them, unless they’re some sort of area attacks[/size]
Alright you bunch of annoying puny rats… it’s time to meet your doom. Ready or not… HERE I GO! ULTIMATE TORNADO OF BROKEN BONES!!!
Action: Start spinning wildly wielding my branch, to absolutely decimate anything around me
“What the hell is that?”
I see a thing come to me, baring it’s teeth. I’m not sure what to do. Two heads, two sets of teeth, two very angry expressions. Maybe I should just walk away and then talk to-
CHOMP!
"OW, CRAP!"
A watch as the dog (heads) bite my arm. it hurt like hell, and I saw blood begin to drop out of my arm. I wasn’t sure what to do. This is just what I wanted. Great day! Yeah, yeah. Great. The guy I wanted to talk to hasn’t seemed to notice. I’ll go ask for his help, maybe he’ll accept.
Action: Ask [Pleb] for help with either my arm or shooing Fluffy away.
Yes! I finally got myself free from that talking truck. While I was still stuck on the truck bed I saw that guy fighting Hitler signal me… I guess he needs help and while I didn’t know how that fight started, given that he is fighting some Hitler - New Beetle hybrid I think I can assume he is the good guy (or less evil at least). Besides how often will I get the chance to shot Hitler.
Action: Jump off the BITT, take aim and shot my gun at Hitler
“Why the hell is he just standing there ah well hes likely going to be no iss-, wait whats that sound”
**"GET THIS **ING DOG OFF ME"
“Oh dammit, my dog Fluffy is out again, better go stop him.”
Action: Down fluffy! Down!
Clearly that dude with the huge branch is very strong, he seems to be capable of dealing with them by himself.
is what I would have thought, if they didn’t keep appearing out of nowhere. Well, that little barn (one that isn’t big enough to house a car) might have something that could help me.
Action: Search in the small barn for some kind of weapon that could stop the rattatas.
Awwww hell yeah! This is an unexpected bonus! I’m not sure why my family would have his such a secret from me (maybe it’s simply because I don’t talk to them much… At all…). Right now seems to ve a good time to play it safe. And expand the ally pool. That’s when I notice somebody apparently stowing away in the trunk in what appears to be a bad rendition of a tentacle nonayer battle. Oh, that’s just the BITT cargo securing system.
ACTION: ask BITT what it plans to do with the dude in the back.
I’m waking up in my home village and as soon as I look through the window…HOLY ARCEUS!!! THIS GUY IS SWARM’D BY THOSE RATTATAS!!! I’m quickly heading out carrying my fellow pokemon, level 28 Shuckle.
ACTION: Send out Shuckle to fight against Rattatas
What the hell is happening around this place. I have absolutely no idea. But seeing so many people joining in, I get confused, I go through the scenario and realized I know what I gotta do now. Because BeforeLifer is a threat to Fluffy, who clearly is just a fluffy dog. I have to end him.
Action: Try to do some damage to BeforeLifer, with what? You asked. Bare hands, obviously.
An unusual sight put a stop to my relaxing afternoon. The strange neighbor’s equally strange 2-headed dog had found another victim. The aptly named Fluffy was ripping chunks out of someone’s arm. It looked like the owner was coming to the rescue, but I decided to take matters into my own hands before Fluffy moved on to his Pleb shaped dessert…
Luckily, I have a dog, and so it has become a force of habit to carry a few lovely doggy biscuits in my coat pocket for when I take him for walks. I stuff my hand into my pocket and dig out a few treats. The shiny coin was also in the same pocket however… Here goes nothing.
ACTION: Throw the treats Fluffy’s way and hope it distracts it long enough for Titleguy to escape.
[size=85]BTW, you forgot to put me in the character summary Kubby 
[/size]
After a long time of jogging (and walking in between, how long was I at it, anyway?) I arrive at the town/city. It looks quite large, and since this clearly isn’t my hometown, I figure that I should find my way back home.
Action: Find someone in the town, and ask them how far Chicago, IL is from here.
Well, it looks like the guy with the gun has his own issues, and distracting Hitler didn’t go too well this time around, if I run, he’ll probably attack with his staff, so the only other option, is to go mano-el-mano with Hitler, and wrestle his staff away.
ACTION: Wrestle Hitler for the magic staff.
I wake up, not remembering what I last did. I see black all around me. And my left leg hurts like hell.
I found I was extremely cramped, then I realized I was stuck in the shrunken-beetle’s trunk.
ACTION: Find a way out of the trunk.
Excellent, there is a bus line here, but i need to get rid of this ring. Not that it will spawn another Ghost-Hitler or even a Ghost-Himmler or stuff like that…
Maybe this dude who sneaked around the shed wants it - i can tell him a huge story about it!
Action: Give conan the cursed ring.
Previous roll: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=6254&start=40#p70905
EnryGT5:
Start spinning wildly wielding my branch, to absolutely decimate anything around me
You roll a: 6
With energy put into each spin, you were gaining RPMs, and the torque was only rising, making you a high-torque, high-RPM engine, superior to Robbo, OR Stevo. Each hit of a branch hit a Rattata, making the swarm lose 7 HP as a whole.
-HOLY FUCK HOW DO YOU KNOW TWISTER MOVE! - one of them yelled, accompanied by panicked beeps
Man, even the wind bent to your will, creating a tornado, right where you are. Wait. You have created a tornado right where you stand. Oh crap.
ROLL TO DODGE the tornado
You roll a: 4
However, you managed to get out of the tornado, and it has whirled away somewhere.
titleguy1:
Ask [Pleb] for help with either my arm or shooing Fluffy away.
You roll a: 6
-HEY, MAN! COME AND HELP ME WITH THAT BEAST! - You shout with your Chords of Steel. Everything around trembles, and soon, you realise your eardrums are to fragile to deal with your shout effortlessly.
ROLL TO DODGE your own voice!
You roll a: 6
You succesfully chop yourself in the throat to quiet yourself. Wait, you’ve made a counterattack against yourself. You could have plugged the ears, ya know? Here, you lose 3 HP in the process.
T16:
Jump off the BITT, take aim and shot my gun at Hitler
You roll a: 1
Your hand trembles. It’s the first time you had to shoot Hitler. It’s the first time you had to shoot anyone. Hell, it’s the first time you held a gun in your hand. Eyesight blurs, and soon you find yourself shaking like a 3 liter Inline 3 with a poo on a stick instead of a flywheel. Your first shot…Well, let’s begin with good news first, shall we? It’s some sort of your typical class B sci-fi flick laser blaster, shooting out slower than light laser beams, and it’s practically recoiless. Now, the bad news. You hit the tiny new Beetle instead. The beam bounced off of it, then hit a tree, and then bounced back towards you.
ROLL TO DODGE the laser beam!
You roll a: 3
Well, you managed to get away from the beam, but you’ve fell on your face while doing so. You lose 2 HP.
BeforeLifer:
Down fluffy! Down!
You roll a: 1
Fluffy turned one of his heads towards you, and you’ve spotted that look in his eyes. They were filled with red and all that crap. Last that that happened, the gates of hell opened. Literally. And some red guy with horns wanted his doggie back. Then the priest came and began spraying him with holy water till the red guy fucked off. I don’t know how you still are not one of the religious though. Now however, the heavenly puppy was running straight towards you.
ROLL TO DODGE Fluffy!
You roll a: 5
But hey, even when your dog is not in his normal state, you know how he’ll behave. He’s too predictable for you. Hell, all dogs are predictable, when you think about it. (+1 to handling dogs). You evaded his attack effortlessly, and after a while, he went away, led by some guy with cookies.
Leonardo9613:
Search in the small barn for some kind of weapon that could stop the rattatas.
You roll a: 5
In a shed, you find a black belt, glowing with a faint, black light (do not ask how that is possible, just embrace it). Meh, nothing special. Then, the belt snaps towards you, and wraps around your waist. You feel more power rushing through your body than when you were behind the wheel of a Clio. Yes, you feel increasing proficiency in martial arts, you feel like Bruce Lee, except less dead. (Reroll any critical failure during a fight) You then realise something. Rattatas are Normal-type Pokemons, weak against Fighting-types.
strop:
ask BITT what it plans to do with the dude in the back.
You roll a: 6
What. How am I supposed to overshoot it. Well, let’s try anyways.
-See. That’s Evardsen, the heir to the line of racing drivers, yet to take on his racing codename. Yeah, their family is kinda weird. Anyway, he disappeared as well. His grandpa, T14, and his dad, T15, spammed me to find him, till I decided to do just that, while looking for Ports. I found him right there, by this little shack, with a bulletproof vest on his torso, and a Type A-Fifty-Five Wankel Blaster by his side, which I assumed to be his. See, the blaster. It’s the work of art… - if it was just boring monotone, you’d fall asleep, but BITT’s voice was not boring, it was getting into your ears, despite BITT’s calm tone. And you, you were a ninja, not a future tech technician . Soon, your brain was going to be overloaded…
ROLL TO DODGE BITTs talkativeness!
You roll a: 5
Well, you decided to give up trying to ignore what BITT is speaking. It was too much. But then, you’ve realised something. You were not going insane. You understood everything, from A55 Wankel being named after the inventor of a rotating triangle thingy engine, to it having a stun mode, which does not behave like a sci-fi laser but like a real one, to there being a method to eliminate bouncing of the shot off the inanimate objects. Hell, you even knew how to change the color of the LED lights on the gun, in case the default Magenta does not fit your clothes. (+1 to operating the A55 Wankel blaster) By the moment he stopped talking about the blaster, you two were at the hospital. BITT parked in the ambulance garage, and you were taken by some nurse.
-Wait, where is he - BITT said to himself, and then spoke to you - I’ll be back in a while, gotta find someone! - That someone sure was not Evardsen.
JasonPoland:
Send out Shuckle to fight against Rattatas
You roll a: 4
Your turtle Pokemon rolls out of its Pokeball, and uses Rock throw against the Rattatas. More beeps ensue. Now, the attack base stat is pure crap in distilled form, and there are a lot of the Rattatas, so it only took 1 HP from the swarm, but hey, the swarm actually retaliated, and did nothing, thanks to the high defense stat, and low effectiveness of Normal type attacks against Rock type. Well, good luck with further fight
conan:
Try to do some damage to BeforeLifer, with what? You asked. Bare hands, obviously.
You roll a: 5
Great. Thanks to part timing, and part luck, you managed to get to BeforeLifer, right when his own dog turned against him and tried to attack him. No one points at you with a gun, and he did not know that. You evaluate the opponents position, and make a punch…
BeforeLifer, ROLL TO DODGE conan! (at -2, due to conan’s success)
You roll a: 4-2 = 2
You hit the guy square in the face, making him make a step back, and causing him to get a minor nosebleed. BeforeLifer, you lose 4 HP.
Pleb:
Throw the treats Fluffy’s way and hope it distracts it long enough for Titleguy to escape.
You roll a: 5
You reach through your pocket, take a few dog cookies, and throw them at Fluffy. Fluffy, even though his eye turned red, and even though he turned on its owner, listened to cookies, and began nom nom nomming them. Because he is not a small puppy, and has two heads, he devoured them quite easily, and quite messily. So you threw more, and more, until something was not right. How did you have SO MANY of them in one pocket. You take a look, and notice your pocket is actually a pocket dimention of infinite cookies. And it’s not like there’s only dog cookies, you just pulled out a cookie for yourself. Weird. It was not there before. You then noticed the weird button shaped thing stopped glowing.
Spitfire599:
Find someone in the town, and ask them how far Chicago, IL is from here.
You roll a: 3
“Chicago? It’s somewhere in the Earth-Beta dimention, isn’t it?” - well, crap, you were FAR from home.
PhilipM:
Wrestle Hitler for the magic staff.
You roll a: 3
The fight between you and Adolf became a content of power, the content of strenght, and knowing the Internet, it would soon succumb to Rule 34 if it was recorded. The staff was getting pulled to one side to other, and because you both have slippy hands, the magic staff went flying and got stuck into the ground. Hey, you don’t have it, but Hitler does not either. Well, seems like a small step.
nerd:
Find a way out of the trunk.
You roll a: 2
Do you realise how cramped it is there? Hell, I don’t know how you fit in there, you would make contortionists look jealous. The point is, right now, you have almost no freedom of movement whatsoever and see no way of getting out of here without help.
Pyrlix:
Give conan the cursed ring.
You roll a: 6
You finally managed to get it off your finger.
-Hey, you! - you shout to guy punching some other person in the face. - Grab this! - You quickly slip the ring onto his hand, and it slides down his finger. You both spot some obnoxious looking ladyboy.
-Oh no… - Conan says.
-Who is that? - you ask.
-That’s me from the past! No! I was an idiot then!
-Wait, so the past you was imprisoned in the same prison as Hit-
-SILENCE, bystander! CONAN! Where did you throw away your PER-SO-NA-LI-TY! YOUR PAST! Don’t try to claim I DO NOT EXIST! You shall PAY FOR IT!
You did not remember conan’s English being that good in his past. Oh well. And yes, past Conan has a staff too, and he first tested it against a random building, blowing a hole in it, and then aimed it at conan…
…The blast radius. Run.
ROLL TO DODGE the past conan’s blast!
You roll a: 6
You decide the best direction to dodge things is… forward. You make a jump kick and, further propelled by the explosion, kick past Conan in the chest, making him lose 8 HP. That felt awesome. Too bad he disappeared short afterwards.
conan, ROLL TO DODGE the past conan’s attack!
You roll a: 1
Shit. You notice you have almost no power at all, feel like you’re gonna fall apart at any moment, and realise the wooden suspension was not the best idea. But hey, at least you’ve got a poshy interior. You realise you are a rusty, greyish beige 1946 Conan-Cossack 1000.
-Look, if you can get anyone to willingly take the car on its own mer…- and the past phantom you gets interrupted by some badass kicking him in the face - Grr…If anyone takes this brilliance on its own merits, you will return to your original body, you understand? - and then he went back to the past to tell Drake, T16 and Kubby about his new marketing campaign involving his future self. On a retrospect, you should not have done that to yourself back then…or…now. Time travel makes tenses confusing, alright?
[size=85]Character info:
Player Characters:
strop
HP: 32/40
Equipment: None
Allies: BITT
Extra: -1 to using the left leg, +1 to A55 Wankel laser blaster operation.
titleguy1
HP: 32/40
Equipment: None
Extra: -1 to using the right arm.
Conan-Cossack 1000 (conan)
HP: 36/40
Equipment: Cursed Alfa ring.
Extra: Is now a car, -1 to convincing people he’s a good car.
pyrlix
HP:40/40
Equipment: Pouch full of old golden coins
Extra: +1 to dodging magic attacks (force field)
EnryGT5
HP:38/40
Equipment: Branch
Extra: +1 to raw strength rolls
PhilipM
HP:39/40
Equipment: None
Leonardo9613
HP: 40/40
Equipment: A belt of martial arts prowess (rerolls epic fails during fights, once per turn)
Evardsen (T16)
HP: 38/40
Equipment: A55 Wankel laser blaster, bulletproof vest (less damage from bullets)
Extra: +1 to freeing yourself.
BeforeLifer
HP: 36/40
Equipment: Gas pistol
Extra: +1 to handling dogs.
Spitfire599
HP: 40/40
Equipment: None
Pleb
HP: 40/40
Equipment: A weird button-shaped thing, A pocket dimention of infinite cookies.
JasonPoland
HP: 40/40
Allies: Shuckle
Equipment: Shuckle’s pokeball
nerd
HP: 40/40
Equipment: None
Extra: In a New Beetle trunk. Trapped.
NPCs:
BITT (Bogliq Industries Two Thousand)
HP:60/60
Equipment: None
Phantom VW Adolf Hitler
HP:15/30
Equipment: None
Extra: Transformed into a VW New Beetle partially.
Elderly gentleman Roland met
HP:25/25
Equipment: None
Fluffy the demon doggie.
HP:15/15
Equipment: None
A swarm of Rattatas
HP:31/40
Equipment: None
Extra: Swarm - Attacks do less damage to them, unless they’re some sort of area attacks
Shuckle
HP:10/10
Equipment: None
Extra: Crap attack, good defence.
[/size]
Hum. So Evardsen is the one who has the Wankel gun… if I am to survive this crazy evolving world, I’m going to have to find him and maybe form an alliance!
As for me now, I’m at the hospital, hooray! Maybe I can get somebody to get my leg splinted up so I can use it again.
ACTION: Try to convince the nurse that I am a doctor. This will get me seen much faster. And possibly treated better too 
haha wow, did I sure miss out on this! Sucks to be me. 