Da-fuck Conan! Why the hell would you do that!!
Better fix this fucking nose and see what else there is to do, ill settle the score later…
Action: Set/fix nose and see if can find some books on the horned guy who tried to take my beloved fluffy
Oh, wow. This belt makes me feel powerful. I almost can’t handle it, like that time when I nearly crashed the Clio when trying to do 120 on a 70 (kph) zone. Wait, what is a Clio again? Where did such a memory come from? That might explain where I was before I woke up, if only I could remember more about that. Anyway… I need to get rid of these creatures.
Action: use my new found martial art skills to attack the damn creatures.
Ok…it’s working, but it’s too slow. My Shuck Norris aka Shuckle needs help. Fortunately, I am a Poke Nerd and I have 5 more Pokémon 
sends out Cubone, Ralts, Bellsprout, Squirtle & Growlithe
OK guys - yells at pokémon - We need to get rid of those pesky Rattatas! Save our village and these foreigners!!!
ACTION: All 6 Pokémon team up to attack the Rattatas
HOW?! I made a tornado APPEAR where i stood… and these filthy rats are STILL alive?! Alright. Now you’re pissing me off. Well, dear branch, it’s been fun having a weapon, 'cause shit just got real.
Action: Wield my branch strongly and jump in the middle of the swarm while screaming random expletives
I am a car now? Good, because now I am everything I have wanted since I woke up days before. Getting mobile.
Action: Run over pyrlix.
Madre de dios… I’m in another dimension? I wonder… All those other people that were around where I were, they looked just as confused as I was. What if… they were from my dimension? They’re probably wondering what the heck is going on. But, I can’t just say that “Hey guys, we’re in another dimension!” I need an explanation. Genius skills activate! Okay, so the most likely theory of all this is that there must’ve been some interdimensional rift that we all have happened to encounter. Now, this rift may only lead from our dimension to this one, but the chance exists that there is a way back. There doesn’t seem to be anyone “in control” of us, so it’s unlikely that we were sent here, though the possibility remains. I need to get the bottom of this, but first, tell the others. Safety in numbers.
Action: Run back to the tree where we all started at and tell everyone there about my theory.
Wait, I am completely stuck? Hmm, I feel a radio where I can call for help. Maybe I can use it. I am sure it will pick up somewhere.
Action: Use the radio to call for help.
(Well, if I’m not entirely too late, I’ll join in. Feel free to ignore this post if I am, however, entirely too late)
“What an odd spinning sensation! What did I do to myself this time?” I think, just before opening my eyes. “Interesting. The world is spinning rather quickly, too.” It is only seconds after that thought that I realise the trouble I’m in: I’ve woken up inside the tornado. “What do I have to get out of this? Shirt, a jacket that is far too large, pants that are a little too big, a belt, shoes, socks… Wait, it won’t be all that great, but perhaps, just perhaps, I can glide or parachute to safety with this oversize jacket!”
Action: Attempt to use the jacket to either glide or parachute to relative safety.
Well, this scuffle with Hitler has left me rather tired, I can’t even remember why we started fighting now, so maybe it’s time to get a little space and observe, that staff stuck in the ground looks mighty tempting though…maybe I’ll grab it on the way past.
ACTION: Grab the staff out of the ground and head for the road to put some space between me and Hitler.
I threw more and more cookies to Fluffy, I wondered if it would ever stop. Then I remembered that dogs don’t know when to stop eating.
“What. Am I supposed to feed this thing cookies until it bursts? With the owner right there??”
I didn’t fancy having to scrape Fluffy mush off of the bystanders, so I held fire for a moment, and recognized that Fluffy’s red eyes began to pulsate and glow.
Ah! Uh… Maybe it wants more cookies? I thought to myself. I glanced into my pocket dimension, and pulled out another cookie. This one was silver. It was the button, but it had stopped glowing.
Fluffy gazed at the button, wide-eyed.
Action: Step back in awe/fright…
Ouch … That hurt. I guess I’m not some highly trained killer them… Maybe I have watched too many movies to even think that I might be. But why did I wake up next to a rifle and body armor them. Well Hitler is still there but that guy managed to wrestle his staff away. Now that I got my eye in I will give it another shot, and maybe I should see if this laser blaster have some settings I can change before hand.
Action: Mess with the A55 Wankel’s settings and take another shot at Hitler.
Choking, I wonder what I should do next. At least the creature-dog-thingy is off me, but now my arm hurts and so does my throat. So, not knowing what to do, I decide to get my arm bandaged.
Action: Get help for my arm. It hurts.
Jesus Christ! This ring has certain effects to different People… and now that he is this Conan-Cossack, which is so horrible, that even Cossack denies it ever existed, i should flee. He will be very angry on me now…
There was a bus stop here, and according to the state of the sun and my masterful sun-clock skills i assume the bus will come every Minute. I should get into the bus and buy a ticket for one Gold coin, one that drives me as far as possible.
Action: Catch the bus and buy a ticket for “as far away as possible” with Gold coins.
(just joining in)
“ugh what happened, well, i crashed obviously, but how” i say as i look at the now smashed front of my Motorhome. “Well, with how bad the impact was, i might as well assume the engine is broke” then i try to turn on a light, nothing happens “battery’s dead too, perhaps i should try the generator, wait my phone!” i pull out my phone, to check it, it has a dead battery. “well, guess i’ll pull start the generator and charge my phone”
ACTION: try pull starting the generator on the Motorhome, then try charging my phone
Previous roll: posting.php?mode=edit&f=20&p=71486
strop:
Try to convince the nurse that I am a doctor. This will get me seen much faster. And possibly treated better too.
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]2[/color]
-Is it this guy again? - one nurse said.
-Nah, the guy that claimed to be the Director had pink hair. And a creepier smile.
-Let’s check him
After some psychological evaluations, the staff has determined you don’t really believe you are a doctor, or even The Doctor, and you get put back in your hospital bed.
BeforeLifer:
Set/fix nose and see if can find some books on the horned guy who tried to take my beloved fluffy
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]3[/color]
Well, the nose might require a professional to set. I mean, you were able to position it in less painful position, and regained 1 HP by doing so, but it’s not perfect yet. As for the horned guy, the books you have do not get into specifics. the horned fella is supposedly a devil, supposedly lives in hell, and you can supposedly get into there by commiting bad deeds.
Leonardo9613
use my new found martial art skills to attack the damn creatures.
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]3[/color]
You were unsure of whether your martial art skills existed or were just an illusion. Unsure you made your first blow, and punched some of the Pokemons. (-2 HP to the swarm). Hmm… Maybe it actually works? I mean, you did not put enough confidence into it, because you feel like it can do more, but…
JasonPoland:
All 6 Pokémon team up to attack the Rattatas
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]5[/color]
The 5 remaining Pokemons left their Pokeballs - Ralts, Bellsprout, Squirtle, Growlithe and that creepy dude so obsessed with his mother he wears her skull. The puppy Fire-type Pokemon jumped into the action first, biting into one of the Rattatas’ head, and crushing his opponent’s neck. The water Kanto starter followed into the action, and smacked another one away with his tail. Then, the emotion feeling Pokemon, Ralts, directed her yet weak telekinetic force, hurting, and confusing the shit out of another Rattata, causing it to attack another one. Immediately afterwards, another close mouse pokemon got cut by vines emerging from incredibly thin and flexible body of Bellsprout. Cubone was the last to attack. He scanned the fight, and then promply approached one of the opponents. He growled something to the Rattata, took his mother’s femur and began smashing it into the head of his poor victim. The Rattata’s skull gave in after 2 hits, but Cubone still was putting the bone into the motion, until the Rattata was barely recognisable as a Pokemon at all.
(Swarm loses 4 HP)
Some Rattatas began beeping something towards your pocket monsters, and you noticed something was wrong, as the looks of uncertainty formed on your allies. Are the Rattatas trying to turn them against you?
EnryGT5:
Wield my branch strongly and jump in the middle of the swarm while screaming random expletives
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]2[/color]
You held the branch with a firm grip, and made a nice jump into the swarm of Rattatas. And, contrary to what the number on the die says, you actually succeeded. Nice. You are now in middle of swarm trying to kill you. Now what…shit…cunt, FUCK! YOU HAVE NO PLAN!
-WHAT A MOTHERFUCKING IDIOT I AM - you think
-See, that’s why we are superior species - one Rattata says.
ROLL TO DODGE the swarm’s attack!
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]5[/color]
They, the superior species? Pfff… You jump back into your previous position, and notice your charge disrupted the swarm’s position. You evaluated their current positional weaknesses, have your branch ready to attack, and have thus +1 to your next attack. This obviously was your plan from the very beginning and who says otherwise is a liar.
conan:
Run over pyrlix
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]3[/color]
You slowly creep from your place. That phonograph sure weighs a lot. As you accelerate towards the guy who turned you into this piece of shit, you realise you are not going to carry enough speed to harm him, so you think, think, and come up with an idea to drive over his foot instead.
Pyrlix, ROLL TO DODGE Conan-Cossack 1000! (+1 due to conan’s slowness)
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]2[/color]+1 = 3
Whoa, what is this NOISE! As you turn around, you notice a pile of rust rolling towards you. Does not seem to be much of a threat, so you ignore it, until it gets close. You move away a bit, as you notice it wants to run you over. It then tries to back off, and you’re forced to dodge the car once more. This makes you miss the bus (Your action was interrupted)
Spitfire599:
Run back to the tree where we all started at and tell everyone there about my theory.
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]4[/color]
You get back to there quickly, and share your hypothesis with everyone who is there. Sure, there only seems to be the Phantom Hitler, two people fighting with him, and some guy landing with the help of his jacket, but they heard you very clearly.
Madrias:
Attempt to use the jacket to either glide or parachute to relative safety.
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]5[/color]
Your fiddling with jacket must have done something to your aerodynamics, since you were quickly thrown out of the tornado. You glided above some people fighting what appeared to be some oversized purple mice, and landed gracefully right behind… A ghost hitler. Huh. By the way. You seem to have mastered the gliding dynamics with this jacket, and as long as you have it, you will automatically pass any ordinary gliding tests.
PhillipM:
Grab the staff out of the ground and head for the road to put some space between me and Hitler.
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]2[/color]
While you were running for the staff, Hitler closed his eyes, spread his arms, and said:
-Peace is key. Peace of mind zat is. Blitzkrieg rules everyvere else.
And the staff nudged and flew back into his hand
-Let’s fight. - he then aimed a shot at you, but then collapsed on the ground, obviously stunned.
Pleb:
Step back in awe/fright…
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]6[/color]
Huh. Let’s see… The button began glowing back again. The B embossed into it actually dazed you at first. With squinted eyes, you noticed the button disintegrated into dust, and only the glowing B remained. Soon, another letters started appearing, forming BEELZEBUB glowing in the air. Suddenly, cracks formed under your feet. This did not look well.
ROLL TO DODGE whatever that is.
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]4[/color]
You stepped back again. Just in time, I’d say, as a hole opened in the ground, with a giant, red, horned guy emerging from it. He held a bong in one hand, and some weed in the other
-Duuuude. You, like, found my doog. - he said while setting his bong and smoking his herbal substances - This is the best shit ever - you were not quite sure whether he meant you finding the dog or his weed.
-Wait, so whose dog is it? Yours or that dude’s over there?
-…Yeees.
T16:
Mess with the A55 Wankel’s settings and take another shot at Hitler.
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]5[/color]
You find some switches, and decide to flip one of them. You aim your gun at Adolf, pull the trigger, and Hitler immediately gets stunned and falls onto the ground, losing 1 HP in progress. Now, it’s not everything. He seems to be stunned for serious, and it seems he’ll be out of commission for, I don’t know, three turns?
titleguy1:
Get help for my arm. It hurts.
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]3[/color]
While the village does not seem to have any clinic, you found a person that claimed to know first aid. The person in question said it’s been infected by a vile force, and poured some holy water onto it. Then he poured some high purity alcohol onto it. And then, he said…
-It needs to be burnt off with fire. - and he ignited the fumes of the alcohol with a lighter.
Your arm hurts like shit now, (-1 to any next action). However, as you look at the wound, you see it might actually HAVE WORKED. (You regain 4 HP)
cpufreak101:
try pull starting the generator on the Motorhome, then try charging my phone.
You roll a: [color=#FF0000]5[/color]
You do not know what happened. That much is clear. You do not know when and how you got here. You do not know when and how you crashed. Most importantly, you do not know when and how in the world you installed a nuclear reactor in your motorhome. However, that’s what you have there. You can even start charging the phone there.
[size=85]Character info:
Player Characters:
strop
HP: 32/40
Equipment: None
Allies: BITT
Extra: -1 to using the left leg, +1 to A55 Wankel laser blaster operation.
titleguy1
HP: 36/40
Equipment: None
Extra: None
Conan-Cossack 1000 (conan)
HP: 36/40
Equipment: Cursed Alfa ring.
Extra: Is now a car, -1 to convincing people he’s a good car.
pyrlix
HP:40/40
Equipment: Pouch full of old golden coins
Extra: +1 to dodging magic attacks (force field)
EnryGT5
HP:38/40
Equipment: Branch
Extra: +1 to raw strength rolls
PhilipM
HP:39/40
Equipment: None
Leonardo9613
HP: 40/40
Equipment: A belt of martial arts prowess (rerolls epic fails during fights, once per turn)
Evardsen (T16)
HP: 38/40
Equipment: A55 Wankel laser blaster, bulletproof vest (less damage from bullets)
Extra: +1 to freeing yourself.
BeforeLifer
HP: 37/40
Equipment: Gas pistol
Extra: +1 to handling dogs.
Spitfire599
HP: 40/40
Equipment: None
Pleb
HP: 40/40
Equipment: A weird button-shaped thing, A pocket dimention of infinite cookies.
JasonPoland
HP: 40/40
Allies: Shuckle
Equipment: Shuckle’s pokeball
nerd
HP: 40/40
Equipment: None
Extra: In a New Beetle trunk. Trapped.
Madrias
HP:40/40
Equipment: Gliding jacket (automatic pass to ordinary gliding)
cpufreak101
HP:40/40
Equipment: Crashed Nuclear Motorhome
NPCs:
BITT (Bogliq Industries Two Thousand)
HP:60/60
Equipment: None
Phantom VW Adolf Hitler
HP:14/30
Equipment: None
Extra: Transformed into a VW New Beetle partially, stunned (3 turns remaining)
Elderly gentleman Roland met
HP:25/25
Equipment: None
Fluffy the demon doggie.
HP:15/15
Equipment: None
A swarm of Rattatas
HP:25/40
Equipment: None
Extra: Swarm - Attacks do less damage to them, unless they’re some sort of area attacks
JasonPoland’s Pokemon creatures (Shuckle, Cubone, Ralts, Growlithe, Squirtle, Bellsprout)
HP:10/10 each
Equipment: None
Beelzebub
HP:50/50
Equipment: Bong, Weed
Extra: Stoned
[/size]
How much will these rats endure?! They won’t endure this one. (This is the last straw… if these motherfuckers resist one more minute… Plan GTFO is to be used)
HEY! Dumb purple dicks! enraged beeping Your time has ended.
Action: Unleash a crazy 20-hit combo on the purple dicks
“well great, with nuclear fuel it should last for years, i really should find some landmarks to identify this area by, and perhaps start drafting a crude map, because this really seems like the middle of nowhere”
ACTION: start drafting a map
Argh! Those smarmy know it all… Anyway. One must not talk ill of nurses in a hospital. Though what world is this!? Not ninja, not doctor… It’s like… This is some kind of inverse universe!
Anyway. I bet you I’ll still be waiting like 5 hours before a doctor finally sees me and tells me I sprained my ankle and all that. But at least I’m in a hospital now! Hospitals have all the good stuff, not just some stupid shirt I can’t use. And I need my leg back. A lame horse is a dead horse.
ACTION: Reattempt first aid, except more advanced. (I.e. swipe a bunch of fentanyl vials. Also, look for needles, syringes, an ice bag, a proper splint and bandages. Then administer fentanyl subcutaneously, apply ice, manipulate ankle as necessary, then compress and splint.) Hope I don’t pass out from the drugs.
I realized that maybe possessing the cursed ring is not a great idea, so I have to think of how Pyrlix got rid of it in the first place. Okay so I guess I have to give it away somehow.
Action: Try to give the ring to strop.
“Wow, I can’t believe that worked! Soon as I got my hands in the inside pockets, it’s like a glider!” I think to myself as I make my graceful landing. My moment of minor prideful joy is interrupted by a light metallic clunk as my feet touch the ground, suddenly drawing my attention back to the situation. “Well, the Ghost Hitler fell over, someone’s still pointing a gun my general direction, which I’m not fond of, and I’m not really seeing any options regarding vehicles to flee in. That, and when I landed, that was one heck of a metallic clunk.” I think, before looking at my hands. I’m nearly blinded by the reflection of the sun off of my metal skin. I’m also acutely aware of the minor servo whine and gear buzz, and the fact that somehow I can tell the ambient air temperature is exactly 20 degrees Celsius. “Oh, this is just cruel.” I grumble, startling at my flat, robotic monotone.
I weigh my options carefully, despite it taking mere microseconds to choose. “If I follow the road, there’s an equal chance for civilization on either side, going either left or right. Civilization means a likely chance I’ll find a car. A car means I can travel rapidly between one point and another. Here, my choice for cars is extremely limited, forcing me to choose the car that is either way too small or to take the rust bucket with, if the sound is correct, wooden suspension. Nope, best choice, take the trip on foot. These shoes appear to be hard-wearing walking shoes with many miles to go, and despite the heat, I’m keeping this light jacket on. Proven useful so far.”
Action: Walk down the dirt road looking for a car.
(OOC: Yeah, I wanted to play the robot. Was the only thing missing for a good proper Sci-Fi show. Don’t worry, I have no further surprises for this thread unless the GM gives me a further wrench I can turn. Also, apologies for the character buildup post.)