thank you for your time mate!
1 Like
Thanks for letting us demolish test out your cars! And the most powerful car our test driver has driven, until now, is a turbodiesel Volvo with 150hp. In other words, an average yokel from the depths of the mysterious Swedish countryside. Legend says that this test driver measures engine power in moose power, not horsepower or kW. In other words, a superfancy hillclimbing car is a different animal that he’s not used to. With lots of moose power. I mean horsepower.
No worries <3
2 Likes
We thank @MetalPretzel for letting us drive these cars!
And we have some new cars to test. Today we have a V16 exotic car in two flavors: vintage and modern.
Shameless copypaste about the two cars we’re testing:
Starting with the classic Jararaca Sedici…
Lap #1 (02:49.550)
Right off the bat, this drives like a classic supercar with the rear being drifty. Well, that’s how they feel in Assetto Corsa. The rear end of this car has a life of its own and tries to run away more then a politician tries to run away from responsibility. The rear end makes corners a bit of a challenge and I don’t dare going over 45-50mp/h. Long gears mean I need to shift to first to get power out of sharp corners.
Lap #2 (02:33.141)
This thing is extremely stable above 100mp/h. Can do the fast corner over 100mp/h with zero issues. The car needs to be treated with respect though or it will end in a disaster. Flooring it in second gear or above is very controllable. Has quite the learning curve as can be seen by the lap times. Major improvement this time.
Lap #3 (02:30.525)
Now I’m starting to make friends with the car. Driving this car properly and getting to know it is like pornography. It’s incredibly pleasuring. I now feel confident taking medium corners at 55mp/h.
Best lap: 02:30.525 (Lap #3)
Positives:
- It has a god damn V16.
- It’s incredibly satisfying to learn this car.
- Great brakes that don’t spin out the car.
- Great stability at high speed.
Negatives:
- Has quite a big learning curve. Not maybe steep but big.
- Slippery rear end.
- Stability issues when cornering too fast. Shifts from understeer to oversteer fast.
- Needs to be treated with respect or else it will eat your soul.
Final verdict: Immensely pleasurable to drive it properly. Due to the cornering behavior and learning curve, it’s not a driveable enough car. While I love it, it is not APDT Approved 
Next up is the Sedici Model 2. A modern reincarnation of the classic Sedic featuring a bigger V16 and lethal amounts of power.
Attempt #1 (spin out & minor disabling crash)
First impression is that this must be a creation of Lucifer. If the classic Sedici had a slippy rear end, this thing is harder to control then a sociopath high on bath salts. It’s just so hard to control that I spun out and crashed it after the first bend. The rear end is spastic and just doesn’t want to stay in place.
Lap #1 (02:20.305)
Let’s try that again… The handling is awful awful awful. No amount of electronic magic tricks can help this thing. Floor it and it spins its wheels. Floor it in any gear and you can feel it want to change direction. It’s so overboosted with the turbo that it’s not possible to floor it and use all the power. Worst of all is I almost spun out over 100mp/h. Just a slight adjustment of the wheel caused the rear end to loose traction, WITHOUT EVEN PRESSING THE ACCELERATOR! Luckily I wore a diaper this time after the first attempt.
Lap #2 (02:21.014)
Since the rear wants to go AWOL as soon as I press the accelerator a bit too hard, I need to almost feather the throttle. It seems to be fine around 50% throttle. And why in the world did they stick a manual in this thing? It starts spinning its wheels between every shift. It also uses quite long gears needing a shift down to 1st to get any power. Cornering is pretty bad above 50-ish mp/h in medium corners. Now I spun out this lap but without demolishing the car.
Lap #3 (02:14.360)
It’s so unstable at high speeds that I don’t dare to drive it fast. Still being gentle with the throttle. This lap I scraped the thing quite bad. Extremely low ground clearance would make it hard to use in your average city unless you can afford expensive repairs.
Best lap: 02:14.360 (Lap #3)
Positives:
- Once you know what you’re doing, it’s crazy fast. reached over 150mp/h on straightaways.
Negatives:
- Spastic rear end that’s high on bath salts, crack cocaine and synthetic cannabis at the same time.
- Full throttle is basically unusable for your average yokel.
- Extremely difficult to drive.
- Wheelspin when floored.
- Changes direction by itself when you accelerate too much.
- Wheelspin between gear changes.
Final verdict: An overboosted, excessively powerful demon. It’s so powerful yet most of the power is lost since it can’t put it down on the road. Poor handling. As far away from driveable as you can get (so far). Not APDT approved.
4 Likes
This looks interesting. Is the focus mainly on performance cars or would cars focused on other segments and markets be just as ‘‘valid’’?
Asking mainly in terms of the lap time leaderboard, since it kinda puts focus on all-out performance.
The lap times are not as a form of performance measure. It’s more to underline the concept of this evaluation.
Take for example the Sedici Model 2 that I tested. It was extremely powerful with a huge V16 and turbo’d. Probably far over 1000hp. Yet the (I think) less powerful Velo 445C and Kasai Calibri 1.8 got better lap times.
The Sedici Model 2 was barely driveable and thus performed worse with my driving skill then it would have in for example the test driving mechanism inside Automation. Whereas the Calibri and 445C were tame and easy to drive.
Another example is how some of my own creations vary in driveabilty. The example evaluation car took 03:02.006 around the circuit while another smaller car (from the same era) with a 5L V8 with far less power got around the circuit in 2:50-something because it was far more driveable.
TL;DR: The lap times aren’t really for performance. It’s to show how driveablity affects lap times in the hands of an average driver.
Thanks to @Dorifto_Dorito for trying to kill our test driver letting us test this pink abomination!
We got to drive the Nohda Super Strato 3, a pink little abomination with way too much power. The creator of this thing told us “good luck”…Our legal department took that as a threat and have given our team of radioactive gorillas the task to investigate whether or not legal action can be taken. Anyways, back to the evaluation
Lap #1 (02:24.976)
First off, this thing is all over the place. It just doesn’t want to stay still. You accelerate and it wants to pull to either the left or right. It’s like a rebellious teen. I tell it to go straight, it gets angsty and says “NO, I DON’T WANNA”. But it’s a rebellious teen that’s as buff as a bison on steroids. This thing is like the spastic kid in school who you’re always scared will at some point snap and just stab someone.
Lap #2 (02:23.265)
Flooring it is not possible. 20-25% throttle is all that’s possible if you want to keep it in a straight line. Wheelspin between shifting. Now this thing tries to spacker out and I do a 180 in a bend, hence the non existent improvement in lap time.
Lap #3 (02:32.982)
It has become clear that the car is angry that it hasn’t murdered me yet so it tries to do it. Twice. By spinning out. This time during down shifts and those are brutally punishing if you mess it up even the slightest. It’s downright brutal and I question that this thing would ever be legal to drive anywhere. It does however corner decently if you let go of the throttle. Feels quite nimble somehow.
Best lap: 02:23.265 (Lap #2).
Positives:
- I survived.
- I didn’t crash.
- Corners decently if you do it right.
- Fun way to commit suicide.
Negatives:
- All the power is virtually useless due to poor handling.
- Is spastic and murderous.
- Doesn’t want to go in a straight line if you use more then 20-25% throttle.
- Unpredictable behavior during shifting.
- Wheelspin between shifting.
Final verdict: This would be a fun way to commit suicide. It’s worse then the Sedici and the worst driveability so far. Not APDT approved.
12 Likes
You’re not the first to have PTSD after driving that little bugger. Dispensing with any false modesty, I’m a pretty fast sim driver and I couldn’t stop swapping ends in the SS3 the moment I entered the power band without a hefty retune 
7 Likes
Thank you @strop at Armada Motors for letting us play with this car! <3
Anyways…Let’s end today’s testing with a sports car from Armada Motors. The Ultima Turbo! They said it’s a sports car that’s meant to be accessible to peasants like me. It’s supposed to hold 388 turbo’d ponies. Question now is…is their marketing material speaking the truth, a civilized and accessible sports car, or should we report them to the police for false advertising?
Their marketing material can be found HERE.
Lap #1 (02:13.144)
So it’s another turbo car. However, this one isn’t scary. It has some electronic dark magic in there to keep it on the road. Now this thing is fast. It has a paddle shifter which makes shifting easy (OOC: or so I think since I don’t hear gears grinding when I shift without the clutch + it only shifts into 1st with the H shifter). And damn is this thing predictable handling wise. No weird spastic behavior. This car is actually sober and doesn’t have mental issues.
Lap #2 (02:09.592)
It hasn’t even spun out of control yet. And it’s incredibly inviting to push it to the limits. All the microchip magic reassures you that it will be fine. The car basically pats your head and says “shh, enjoy the ride, let me handle traction stuffs”. But it also screams at you like a menstruating woman. “DRIVE ME! DRIVE ME LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. HARDER! FASTER! DON’T YOU DARE USE THE BRAKES”. But… Do not dare setting the traction control to sport since this thing gets extremely floaty over 90-100mp/h in normal mode. You will die without the traction control.
Lap #3 (02:07.166)
It has a very pleasant learning curve. It’s not too hard but also rewarding when you pull of insane stuff. The gearing is very nice. Rarely have to go lower then second gear. Takes medium corners like a champ at 65-70mp/h. Can even do sharp corners, depending on how well I nail it, between 25-40mp/h.
Best lap: 02:07.166 (Lap #3).
Positives:
- Very tame thanks to microchip voodoo magic.
- Great gearbox.
- Superb cornering abilities. Sharp corners in 35-40mp/h are possible even for yokels like me.
- Goes in a straight line and listens to my commands.
- You can actually floor it and not die.
Negatives:
- Gets dangerously floaty over 90-100mp/h. Traction control works overtime to keep it on the road.
- There’s nothing much to make fun of with this thing
Final verdict: The marketing material didn’t lie. The manufacturer didn’t lie in their electronic letter to us. It’s an accessible sports car. It is easy to learn. It’s rewarding to learn it. It corners like a champ. Electro magic keeps you safe. It won’t kill you, however, be careful over 90-100mp/h and DO NOT TURN OFF STABILITY CONTROL. A very very driveable car. APDT Approved!
13 Likes
Heh, A fair assessment of the Sedici line. Thanks!
Update: Those responsible for the 2018 Model have been sacked…
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Thank you for the testing and the feedback; that’s exactly what I thought. I haven’t yet found (and don’t know if I ever will) the way to make it tamer on the road but from what I recently learned about Beam car behaviour, a redo of the rear aero fixtures may actually help. We’ll look into it. All I can advise at this point is that at speeds of over 100mph, don’t try to take corners with the throttle pinned as the rear seems to lose too much traction, which makes for extremely scary shenanigans at 150mph in the Slingshot. Lifting off partially and gently actually corrects this.
For reference the Automation time was 2:06.4 from a standing start or something like that so you’re actually not far off the benchmark. I’d like to think this speaks to just how accessible the car is. As the one who made and tuned the car I was putting in (EDIT: typo) 2:03 from a standing start (and with the driving aids off), so mastery of the car does yield significant rewards!
p.s. it’s a sequential transmission, yes. Paddle shifter.
EDIT: found the issue. We’ve worked out the difference between Beam aero and Automation aero in that the lift from the fixtures and the body in Automation are value and slider dependent, but in Beam it is actually mesh area dependent. Consequently at speed the rear body actually generates lift whereas the front generates a lot of downforce. No wonder the rear loses traction at speed! We can rectify this without too much trouble.
4 Likes
A Bridgell wagon is due to testing. This should give you a rest from the killer cars you’ve been testing.
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Can I just say how much I love these reviews you wrote, because they have some of the funniest analogies I’ve read recently. Keep it up my friend!
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I think that says all that needs to be said, if an average-ish driver can get that close (like less than one percent off the in game test track time) then that speaks volumes about both the driver and the car. I think strop knows how much I like the Ultima (especially that rear 
) and also how much I appreciate the things we’ve learned about Beam aero. Anyway, great work @falukorven 
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Thank you Bridgell Motor Company for letting us toy around with the Flatt Eco Wagon!
We’re driving the Flatt Eco wagon. An economical wagon. Is it an actual economic, easy to drive family wagon, or did we get rick rolled by Bridgell Motor Company and this thing is in fact a sleeper that can reach light speed faster then sugar free gummy bears can move through my intestinal tract? Only one way to find out…
Lap #1 (03:05.043)
Off we go and there’s a tiny tiny bit of wheelspin off the start. Just enough to make you feel alive, and for your wife to ask you if you’ve taken your anti psychotic drugs today. Just enough to once again feel like a young wannabe racer in his ricer Honda Civic. Oh and Bridgell wasn’t joking. This is an eco wagon. It’s super tame and easy to corner. There’s less sign of rear end slippage then there is Eskimos in Nicaragua. Basically none! Also must compliment the auto gearbox. It seems quite reactive to my right foot.
Lap #2 (02:58.933)
Now, me and the car aren’t the best of friends. The car’s automatic gearbox is quite the smartass. I want you to hold this gear, I tell it. “And I want to screw Pamela Anderson in a private jet while high on coke but I can’t have that now, can I?”, the gearbox tells me. It doesn’t let me have the revs, since it can’t have Pamela and a private jet. But that’s perfectly okay since this is an eco car. But I actually wish Bridgell had sent us a manual version to mess about with. Now that I more or less got a feel for the car, I can do better lap times.
Lap #3 (02:58.843)
I would say the oversteer is very easy to control but it’s a bit too much here and there. The car tried to pick a fight with the racing circuit fence and lost so back to the start line, kiss the car’s ouchies and retry. Now, I dare to say that literally anyone, yes, even you that’s reading this, can toss this car around a racing circuit and not crash. A hamster with no legs could drive this thing. It’s so freaking tame and easy to drive. A lobotomized opossum can with zero problems race this thing.
Best lap: 02:58.843 (Lap #3)
Positives:
- Extremely easy to drive.
- Extremely easy to learn.
- Stays stable in corners and high speed.
- Has rather decent cornering. 50mp/h+ in medium bends.
- You can violate the accelerator as much as you’d like and you won’t die.
Negatives:
- I wish it had a manual gearbox.
Final verdict: This thing is incredibly easy to drive and learn. Anyone can toss this around a racetrack. Even your unborn child while it’s still a developing fetus. An extremely driveable car. APDT Approved!
9 Likes
Since you’ve liked the car, we recomend to play around with our GTT Coupe, to prove that a wild ride can be archived on the same platform. Only when you have time, since I’m sure you have other companie’s cars to test.
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Hey,
Please send us the BeamNG ready file and the test driver will gladly play with that machine.
Regards,
falukorven, head of APDT Testing Co.
P.S, our test driver is having a wet weekend so yeah… No test drives during this weekend. Don’t drink and drive kids (if you’re a kid, you shouldn’t be driving anyways, hah!)
Aaaand we’re back! After a beer infused Friday, our test driver can get back behind the wheel. First up is the Panther Prestige+ by ELECTI. A luxury barge with a powerful V8 by @GROOV3ST3R . It’s supposed to be both comfy and sporty and they told us to watch out for enthusiastic steering input while braking. Question is, is this car a well dressed gentleman that takes bull testosterone by night and throws bricks at people, or is it a land based luxury barge that behaves like a the captain of the ship has downed two bottles of vodka? Only one way to find out…
Lap 1 (02:16.541)
And full steam ahead. Since this is a supercomputer on wheels, there’s no wheelspin. And it has a freaking magic DCT so obviously I set it to sport mode and let the computer shift for me. Why? Because I’m a human and the car is a machine. I do not take orders from a machine. You need to shift now, sir, the car says. Hell no, b#¤%h, you’re a computer, I don’t take commands from robots. This is not RoboCop. THIS IS REAL LIFE!!! SHIFT FOR ME AND SHIFT REAL GOOD. SHIFT LIKE YOU F#%¤ING MEAN IT!!, I say. And the car obeys and shifts lighting fast with no funny business between shifts. Attaboy…
Lap 2 (02:11.512)
This thing is lightning fast. Faster then me climaxing while with a rent-a-girlfriend in a sleazy cockroach infested motel in a shady part of town. Faster then a fat guy can devour a tripple whopper at Burger King. Faster then the time it takes for a SJW to get triggered. And this car really licks the corners. It licks them real good. It has a cornering fetish. Oh damn, this car has a slick tongue. This car is a real player and has licked many corners to unimaginable amounts of pleasure. It licks them going 55-70 mp/h. And the traction. The wheels are glued to the road and dispense power like a champ. The wheels are more glued to the ground then aunt Anna is glued to her pack of Marlboro lights and Spanish soap operas. Keep in mind that this car is morbidly obese at 2.4 ton. This car is morbidly obese but is more fit then skinny me that feels his heart breaking his ribs after going up some stairs. This car is skinny-shaming people!
Lap 3 (02:10.854)
All the electronic crap in this thing makes it so accessible. It’s more accessible then smuggled, tax free tobacco and booze. This car is in fact more fun then smuggled tax free tobacco and booze. Because unlike smuggled tobacco and booze, this car isn’t laced with methanol or human excrement, this car isn’t a knockoff, it is safe and easy to drive for anyone. It hasn’t spun out once, it hasn’t behaved funnily. There was nothing fishy with going fast. Beyond stable over 140mp/h.
Best lap: 02:10.854 (Lap 3)
Positives:
- The car has a cornering fetish.
- Traction is like glued to the ground.
- Amazing DCT gearbox.
- No slippery rear end when flooring it out of corners.
- Electronic magic keeps it stable.
- Extremely easy to drive and learn.
Negatives:
- The car is a pervert.
- The car is a fit fatass that skinny-shames people.
Final verdict: Superb traction, stable in corners, no funny business with braking and accelerating out of corners. An extremely driveable car that’s extremely easy to learn. APDT Approved!
16 Likes
As Chair of ELECTI Group, I would like to extend our warmest thanks to Mr Falukorven and the team at APDT. We have thoroughly enjoyed the tremendous write up and review of our car and are extremely satisfied with the outcome. Our design and production teams can breathe a sigh of relief and validation now.
Sincerely,
GROOV3ST3R, Chairman of ELECTI Group
2 Likes
Hoping that a little Import Retro action is fun today…
The 1969 Suzume Hosho GS. Successor to the original Suzume Kaikyu San, and the first Suzume performance vehicle to have 6 cylinders. Using the lessons from the 1952 Corso di Fruinia, Suzume engineers came home and redeveloped their first production boxer motor, 1400ccs in size. They were not satisfied to sit on their laurels, and developed the 2.9 “Kagoshima” H6 motor found in the Hosho 29G and GS models.
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Thank you @th3maldonado for letting us test this vehicle. Today we have the Virage VIII VSi 2017 by company Bramhall. The European take on a luxury car, featuring a fat sedan with a turbo’d 4 cylinder producing 257 horsies. Question is, is this an actual sporty luxury sedan with a hyperactive yet efficient little engine? Or are we in fact witnessing how environment awareness is destroying automobiles like Cassandra, 16 years of age, destroyed her life by going YOLO and not using contraceptives? Only one way to find out…
Lap 1 (02:29.342)
And off we go! It’s a four cylinder and it’s marketed as a sports & luxury saloon. Now it doesn’t really feel all that cheery and energetic as I was lead to believe. It’s like Timmy, 5 years of age, when he found out Santa was in fact the local alcoholic with a fake beard. Timmy was happy and energetic but his childhood world was obliterated so now Timmy is sad, depressed and just doesn’t care anymore. This car is Timmy. The car doesn’t care. It gets going but it’s just meh. But this is about driveability mainly anyways. The car is incredibly predictable and easy to drive and has all the bells and whistles you expect from a supercomputer on wheels. Electro-magic and also a DCT gearbox.
Lap 2 (02:23.768)
Little timmy The car is really fun to toss around the race track. And the brakes. The brakes are really strong on this thing. Holy wasp nests, they are strong. They are like that roid junkie of a bouncer you see at the local stripclub. You just want to get in there and look at scandally clad ladies. But the bouncer is holding you back with just one hand. No dice, boy, he says. You just keep doing burnouts with your shoes until the bouncer throws you into a garbage bin. These brakes will stop you, no matter how much you want to keep going. Though I think I was a tad over enthusiastic and beat the brakes and had a little fender bender. No issues though.
Lap 3 (02:23.616)
This thing corners so well. If I do it well, 70mp/h medium corners are no issue and high speed driving is more robust then uncle Brian’s alcohol tolerance. And the lap times speak for themselves. The learning curve is very small since I appear to be driving it at the peak of my driving skills after just one lap.
Best lap: 02:23.616 (Lap 3).
Positives:
- Easy to drive.
- Easy to handle and predictable handling.
- Roid junkie brakes.
- Stable at high speeds.
- Can do medium corners at 70mp/h.
Negatives:
- Meh performance.
- It’s not easy to make fun of this thing.
Final verdict: A very stable and easy to use car. Very small learning curve. Ultra stronk brakes. An extremely driveable car. APDT Approved!
5 Likes