Aaaand we’re back! After a beer infused Friday, our test driver can get back behind the wheel. First up is the Panther Prestige+ by ELECTI. A luxury barge with a powerful V8 by @GROOV3ST3R . It’s supposed to be both comfy and sporty and they told us to watch out for enthusiastic steering input while braking. Question is, is this car a well dressed gentleman that takes bull testosterone by night and throws bricks at people, or is it a land based luxury barge that behaves like a the captain of the ship has downed two bottles of vodka? Only one way to find out…
Lap 1 (02:16.541)
And full steam ahead. Since this is a supercomputer on wheels, there’s no wheelspin. And it has a freaking magic DCT so obviously I set it to sport mode and let the computer shift for me. Why? Because I’m a human and the car is a machine. I do not take orders from a machine. You need to shift now, sir, the car says. Hell no, b#¤%h, you’re a computer, I don’t take commands from robots. This is not RoboCop. THIS IS REAL LIFE!!! SHIFT FOR ME AND SHIFT REAL GOOD. SHIFT LIKE YOU F#%¤ING MEAN IT!!, I say. And the car obeys and shifts lighting fast with no funny business between shifts. Attaboy…
Lap 2 (02:11.512)
This thing is lightning fast. Faster then me climaxing while with a rent-a-girlfriend in a sleazy cockroach infested motel in a shady part of town. Faster then a fat guy can devour a tripple whopper at Burger King. Faster then the time it takes for a SJW to get triggered. And this car really licks the corners. It licks them real good. It has a cornering fetish. Oh damn, this car has a slick tongue. This car is a real player and has licked many corners to unimaginable amounts of pleasure. It licks them going 55-70 mp/h. And the traction. The wheels are glued to the road and dispense power like a champ. The wheels are more glued to the ground then aunt Anna is glued to her pack of Marlboro lights and Spanish soap operas. Keep in mind that this car is morbidly obese at 2.4 ton. This car is morbidly obese but is more fit then skinny me that feels his heart breaking his ribs after going up some stairs. This car is skinny-shaming people!
Lap 3 (02:10.854)
All the electronic crap in this thing makes it so accessible. It’s more accessible then smuggled, tax free tobacco and booze. This car is in fact more fun then smuggled tax free tobacco and booze. Because unlike smuggled tobacco and booze, this car isn’t laced with methanol or human excrement, this car isn’t a knockoff, it is safe and easy to drive for anyone. It hasn’t spun out once, it hasn’t behaved funnily. There was nothing fishy with going fast. Beyond stable over 140mp/h.
Best lap: 02:10.854 (Lap 3)
Positives:
- The car has a cornering fetish.
- Traction is like glued to the ground.
- Amazing DCT gearbox.
- No slippery rear end when flooring it out of corners.
- Electronic magic keeps it stable.
- Extremely easy to drive and learn.
Negatives:
- The car is a pervert.
- The car is a fit fatass that skinny-shames people.
Final verdict: Superb traction, stable in corners, no funny business with braking and accelerating out of corners. An extremely driveable car that’s extremely easy to learn. APDT Approved!