OMG, I am laughing my ass off at this whole review… Thanks!
2 Likes
Thank you @Tyhikastija at for lettung us toy with this automobile. The Ökul S93 has been given to us by Ökul Motorcars Inc. For those who want to see, more pics can be found here.
This is a prototype of an upcoming sports car featuring a high revving boxer 6 and a DCT 7 speed tranny. The manufacturer was kind enough to tell us about a slippy rear end and to top it all off, they told us this is one out of seven existing prototypes of the car.
With such immense pressure on our test driver’s shoulders, it’s time to answer questions. Is this car like a roid using hunk dressed in a tailored suit that works as a CEO, or is this car trailer trash that wears a wife beater and smokes crack all day? Only one way to find out…
Lap 1 (02:15.681)
With the slippery rear end in mind, and the fact that this is one of seven existing prototypes, I put the gearbox in sport and floor it like there’s no tomorrow. And to my surprise, the rear end stays put. What? Is this a sitcom? Or is the car a sociopath that will strike back when I least expect it? This thing slices corners like social media slices people’s personalities in pieces and turns them into trend zombies. This is good stuff, m’kay? There rear end doesn’t have psychopathic tendencies.
Lap 2 (02:11.060)
This thing flies. Not literally, but it goes fast. Over 140mp/h on the straightaways and it’s extremely stable and easy to drive. It’s so easy, even a crippled elephant with Parkinson’s could drive this like the Stig. Fast corners can be done over 65mp/h and medium corners can be done in 55ish mp/h. We can probably thank the anti gravity drive electronic stuff for this.
Lap 3 (02:12.698)
I knew the car was a sociopath. Lap number three, it happened. The rear end behaved like a three legged emu dancing jitterbug and I got a nice, adrenaline inducing powerslide out of it. With traction control on! And you know what? There was no care in the world about trashing an expensive prototype car. Felt like it was Fast & Furious. Tokyo Drift baby. This car is just so fun, yet it’s polite enough to not cause you a crash. However, the powerslide cost me a second on the lap time.
Best lap: 02:11.060 (Lap 2)
Positives:
- Very fast.
- Amazing traction.
- Has
an anti gravity driveelectronic stuff to keep it stable. - Extremely good cornering.
- Stable at high speeds.
- Extremely easy to drive.
Negatives:
- Uhh…I can haz cheeseburger?
Final verdict: Amazing, stable, easy to drive car. It’s glued to the road, there’s no weird behavior, corners great. An extremely driveable car. APDT Approved!
11 Likes
Following investigation of the Beam aero model vs Automation I’ve rectified the high speed handling issue in the Ultima (spoilers don’t register any downforce in Beam). Would you be interested in trying it out again, or would you prefer to test just once? I’m not fussed but I promise you now you’ll find the car easy to drive even with the ESC completely off
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Fun stuff.
Actually the car tested was Ökul S93 NH. We have plans to release it along regular and softer S93 and a track-day special S93 NHR.
About the ‘slippy’ rear end… Once you turn electronic nannies off, it becomes really hard to catch high speed slides. I know it from my own experience with the car.
1 Like
lol like that gt impression
Thank you @MetalPretzel for letting us drive the Avi AWD. It’s an 80s turbo rectangle on wheels ,featuring a turbo I5. Question is, is this car a well refined and stable 80s turbo wagon, or is driving this thing as risky as passing gas after eating two plates of beans and bacon? Only one way to find out…
Lap 1 (02:27.076)
This is an old 80s turbo car without fancy electronic magic so I don’t expect much, but to my surprise, this thing handles real well. It’s extremely controllable. This car is like an old chain smoking man on a running track, but despite his severe COPD, he outruns the youngest and most bull testosterone filled youngsters on the track. And it handles real well and predictable. It’s like grandpa John and his modified mobility scooter. A mobility scooter that pulls mean G’s and can go over 100mp/h with ease. It doesn’t spin out. It’s as sharp as the hypodermic needle your local drug addicts use. You can easily corner at 50mp/h in medium corners.
Lap 2 (02:23.311)
This car has a fancy AWD driveline. But the manufacturer left out ABS. What is this s%&t?! This car is like the Tupolev Tu-144. It has all the latest and fanciest tech, like the Tu-144. Inline five engine, turbo, AWD. But it lacks basic safety features like the Tu-144, such as ABS. And we all know how ahem “safe” the Tu-144 was. Not good boys. You know better then crazy Russian engineers who cut corners to release a supersonic jet earlier then the competitor Concorde.
Lap 3 (02:23.360)
All in all, I must say this is a pleasant experience so far. If you’re careful with the brakes, it should all be fine. There’s no real funny business here. It is an 80s turbo rectangle. And it’s surprisingly easy to drive.
Best lap: 02:23.311 (Lap 2).
Positives:
- Easy to handle.
- Great cornering.
- Very controllable and stable due to AWD.
- Easy to get the hang of.
Negatives:
- Obvious corner cutting with lack of ABS.
Final verdict: An easy to learn and drive car. They cut corners with no ABS but easy to handle by not being a dumbass while braking. A very very driveable car. APDT Approved!
6 Likes
A great evaluation as always. I am glad you enjoyed the car.
One comment, as the vehicle tested was a heritage vehicle from 1984, ABS was not an available option then. Rest assured, all versions available from 1992 onwards do include ABS 
Early evaluation footage of the AVI wagon from 1984:
And we’re back! We’re sorry for the delay. Our test driver was abducted by alien lifeforms known as exams from the planet of University. Today we have the Lagau APG II by @yurimacs ! It’s another what appears to be a V12 supercar. The manufacturer Lagau told us to not be cocky since the AWD system is rear biased. Knowing that the AWD driveline has a butt fetish, it’s time to answer questions. Is this car a well balances, well refined and easy to handle pocket rocket? Or is driving this thing scarier then being anally probed by green little creatures in a flying saucer? Only one way to find out…
Lap 1 (02:10.069)
We’re off and holy pickled herring, this thing is fast. And I mean fast fast. Faster then a trailer trash mother of ten can smoke a cigarette. Faster then old, partially disabled retired people cut in line to get on the bus. Faster then I can devour a double cheeseburger when heavily intoxicated. It’s just fast. And predictable. More predictable then a movie-film. More predictable then Twilight. It’s just so easy. Wow.
Lap 2 (02:05.777)
Now here’s where I taste the kinky rear end. While it luckily doesn’t taste like feces, it does taste like like the fear you experience when your one night stand calls you and asks if you remember that one night in last weekend where you did dirty stuff in the bedroom of her mother. It’s incredibly scary. Even the prospect of having a baby with a random woman is less scary. However, I interpret this as the car’s way of telling me to back the &%¤# off so I oblige. And in return, the car is good in corners. Doing medium corners 45-50mp/h and fast corners over 60mp/h. It’s like your pseudo-abusive grandfather. One one hand, he beats every molecule out of you if you disobey him, on the other hand, he rewards you for good behavior.
Lap 3 (02:06.347)
Flooring it out of corners is okay. Nothing fishy here, except the privates of the rent-a-girl you visited that one dreadful, ethanol infused night, and the breath of your maths teacher. The turbo is good, no lag or sudden jolt of power like convicts experience in the electric chair. It does fly real fast at 150mp/h on the straightaways.
Best lap: Lap 2 (02:05.777)
Positives:
- Fast.
- Predictable handling.
- Rather good cornering.
- Easy learning curve.
Negatives:
- Punishes you if you push it too hard.
- AWD system has a butt fetish.
Final verdict: A very predictable and easy to learn car that punishes you if you go too far. This butt obsessed car is a very driveable car. APDT Approved!
8 Likes
apparently, my observation on results for most (and possibly all) Mid-Engined cars here are tend to be butt-punishing
Today we have a tiny little car called the Fisto 1.0SDS-3H by @cygnus . A little compact thing trying to be a sporty car, with a 150hp turbo I3. After some chuckling at the name, it is time to answer a few questions. Is the Fisto programmed to please? Or is it as safe as post apocalyptic Las Vegas? Only one way to find out…
Lap 1 (02:34.214)
I assume the correct position and we’re off! First off all, I can say this thing is definitely programmed to please. There’s no numbness that subsides in several minutes. This thing is very well refined. It is impossibru to loose control. It is more impossibru then a radical feminist using common sense. It is more impossibru then diving by zero. It’s just so easy to drive, but what do you expect from a compact, high pleasure modern car? The car won’t fist you, as the name implies, if you go all Ken Block with. You only get understeer.
Lap 2 (02:29.038)
It is just so fun to drive this like a murderous madman on crack. It’s so forgiving. And it corners real well. Fast corner in excess of 60MP/H and sharp corners can be done at 35MP/H. Wow! Can you believe it? This car fists the privates of some hypercars we’ve had at our test track. It really puts those hypercars to shame. More shame then you felt after farting on your friend’s face during a sleepover because they were snoring loudly. More shame then you felt after vomiting on the pretty girl in class during a party where you had too much Jäger.
Lap 3 (02:29.509)
There’s absolutely no learning curve here. The learning curve is more non-existent then the writing quality of our articles. The car is more forgiving then the UK, France and Sweden is on crime. Anyone can drive this. There’s no funny business anywhere. The engine like revs. This is an incredibly well refined car. It was so easy to drive.
Best lap: 02:29.038 (lap 2).
Positives:
- Rather decent performance for what it is.
- Handling that puts hypercars that have been tested to shame.
- No learning curve.
- Extremely easy to drive.
- Forgiving handling.
Negatives:
- It doesn’t provide “services” that one would expect from a car named Fisto.
Final verdict: Fisto is here to please you, whether you drive it like a normal person or like a felon trying to avoid getting arrested. An extremely driveable car. APDT Approved!
8 Likes
I sent a car a month ago. What happened
Got very busy with exams at university but have some time to catch up with the cars. And if your car is the Holts PT660, there’s a few submissions before. I go through them based on how they’re sorted in my inbox here on the forum and it appears to sort the messages based on when the latest activity was. But yes, I see the BeamNG files for PT660 were sent 24 days ago, so it should be the next car for review based on that. 
Here’s something different. We’re sending our lawn mower. At least if it goes out of the track, there will be no problem.
6 Likes
i understand because i’ve been busy with college things too
Unfortunately, cars exported from Automation to BeamNG appear to not be working(?). I cannot select an Automation car in BeamNG (clicking “select vehicle” doesn’t do anything)?.
Maybe something has happened with the 0.14 patch, so it doesn’t like exported cars.
Are you planning to continue this?
Is this series still going, by any chance? Your writing is hilarious!
1 Like