CSR 109 - Straight Outta Retirement Home

[conan]

CSR 109 - Straight Outta Retirement Home

---

Previous round
The Car Shopping Round general guide

---

1999, Florida

Meet Mrs. Joan Sherbet. She’s a 70-year-old ex-schoolteacher from Florida. She’s been married to the same guy for nearly 50 years and has 4 children and half a dozen of grandchildren. Recently her youngest just had his first child.

These days Mrs. Sherbet usually is at home, knitting, if she’s not she’d be driving her 1985 Silver-York Sovereign to the local bingo parlor.

One day, Mrs. Sherbet came out of Walmart and saw how her old S-Y is a little bit tatty. While it got servicing at the dealership it’s whole life the car starts to show its age. With nearly 36,000 miles on the clock, the old S-Y paint is a little bit faded on the trunk.

Time to find a new car then.

---

Brief

Joan Sherbet is looking for a luxury sedan to replace her old Silver-York. Now that she’s in her 70 this will probably be the last car she ever going to buy in her life.

Her Husband would also like to give her this car as a birthday present so he’s wishing for her to have something nice. They’re also pretty well off so the budget reflects this.

While a pretty racy girl back in the day with penchant for little sports cars. Those days were long gone and now Mrs. Sherbet is looking for something to get to church on Sunday and that’s it. Nothing sporty, nothing neck breaking fast. Just luxurious and stylish. Something that she can be proud of but not too ostentatious to lead to the look of contempt from her friends at the bingo.

Mrs. Sherbet knows NOTHING about cars. She only drives them and have them service at the dealership. She also barely does 2,000 miles in a year, so it doesn’t matter if the car’s a bit thirsty or high maintenance. She’s also 70. If the car is obviously unusual, she definitely is going to cotton on. But if the weirdness is subtle maybe you’d get away with it.

---

Rule

Variant/Trim Year: 1995-1999
Fuel Type: Premium – RON95 / 90 AKI
Catalytic Converter Required
Max Engine PU: 75
Max Engine ET: 150
Max Trim PU: 115
Max Trim ET: 150
Maximum Estimated Cost: $50,000
Minimum Seat Count: 5
Minimum Safety: 37
Minimum Trim Reliability: 54
SUV, Utility, MPV and Van body is not allowed.

---

Judging

Consideration: You’re selling a car to a very conservative old age pensioner. So the judging will reflects the buying process of such person. That is to say, you can min-max if you want, but if it’s very obviously a car that would scare Joan off in some way, you’re getting binned. Also, one thing to note is that while the budget is relatively large. LESS IS MORE in the case of this CSR. You definitely don’t need to go all out in case of features and technology to achieve a winning car. Might be a good thing as you’re selling a car to very old person.

High Importance

Comfort: Well, duh, you’re selling a car to an old age pensioner. A car that combines good suspension and good interior would be very appealing to Joan.
Design: This is also very important. Even if Joan eyesight probably wouldn’t allow her to notice all the nice details you’re going to put on it. She still can see ugly ass design very clearly.
Drivability: Again, duh, while Joan still can drive pretty well for her age. The reflexes are getting worse every day. If a car is easy to drive, then it’d be appealing.
Cost: Joan is from the generation which values affordability. Does not mean you cannot go all out, but the car must be worth it.

Mid Importance

Handling: Joan likes her car to have a confidence inspiring trait. So, a car cannot be sponge cake soft else she would feel sick.
Performance: This car cannot be slow ass. In fact, sending a car that has big engine option (within reason) could be more appealing because Joan would be able to brag to her friends about how “top of the range” it is.
Seat Count: Joan, being old, loves bench seats. And if you can fit third row then more seating for her grandchildren.
Safety: While it’s unlikely Joan is going to crash at high speed. It’s still a good peace of mind to know the car is crashworthy.

Low Importance

Reliability and Service Cost: Joan doesn’t drive a lot, so it’s not really that important to have a car that’s hewn from solid block of granite. But at least it shouldn’t have a reputation for catching fire.
Fuel Economy: ‘MURICA.
Practicality: While it might be good to have it as mid importance, I find this value to be not satisfying. So I will not look into it.
Other stats I didn’t list won’t get looked into.

---

Inspiration

Click

---

SUBMISSION

Send a PM containing your .car file to me. On the forum or Discord.
The naming system is as per usual.

Engine name: CSR109 - [forum username]
Engine variant: [engine name]
Car name: CSR109 - [forum username]
Car trim: [car name]

---

RESUBMISSION IS NOT ALLOWED!

I’m judging your cars using the Open Beta branch.

Before submitting, please make sure that your car meets all of the requirements, especially on ET and PU. Even a 0.1 difference will warrant yourself a bin.

Most mods are allowed.

If you’re still confused, don’t hesitate to ask!

---

Submissions is Open.
The deadline is 25 August, 23:59 (GMT +7).

Have fun and good luck to everyone!

[CMT]

This just great! I already know what to to.

[abg7]

Must the car actually have 4 doors? If not, then I will assume that coupes and convertibles will be eligible.

And how big should the car be? I’m expecting it to be in the full-size luxury segment (equivalent to the European F-segment classification); cars like the 7-series, S-class, A8, XJ X300 and LS400 (as shown in the “inspiration” gallery) come to mind.

[HybridTronny]

1997 Denver Model VI

[yurimacs]

and also, there is no door count, so I’m foreseeing entries similar to an Aston DB7 or a BMW 850CSi but with budget cuts

[conan]

Go all out.

[conan]

Since the ruleset seems pretty good already. I’ll open the submission early. You can submit the car from now.

[Riley]

I might enter this, try a different style

[zschmeez]

@conan

old age pensioner.

For the record, we don’t call them pensioners in the States. Usually referred to as “retirees.” Not a complaint, just a nitpick. Looking forward to entering.

[conan]

@zschmeez

For the record, we don’t call them pensioners in the States. Usually referred to as “retirees.” Not a complaint, just a nitpick. Looking forward to entering.

0/10 this round immersion broke completely

I chose the phrase because it sounds good. And since I have never been to the States I am definitely totally not familiar with the term “retirees” but everybody would know what I mean anyway so let’s just go with that. Thanks for letting me know there’s no other issue with the ruleset and so nitpicking can ensue.

[TheTom]

@conan

Handling: Joan likes her car to have a confidence inspiring trait. So, a car cannot be sponge cake soft else she would feel sick.

Any numbers we could target for what would be considered “too soft”? Like, what kind of roll angle would still be acceptable? Do keep in mind that an old S-class would also roll quite substantially

[stensen]

my grandma says anything below 5° and above 6° is absolutely unaccetpable

thought i give this a try again. still struggle to properly align fixtures and take proper pictures.

Sentinel X3.2

[cake_ape]

Introducing the Mons Perseus Sport. It has an engine, a body, and four wheels. It’ll also seat all of your grandkids. Its colour will match your hair. It’ll burn all the fuel and cause global warming - but this is not something to worry about in Florida. Without further ado, the Perseus:

CSR109 - Mons Perseus Sport

Moar pics

[Vena.Sera423]

Introducing the 1999 FWM San Luis LS
Carrying the tradition and legacy of Comfort, Luxury and Performance

[EddyBT]

Seeeew fansayyy

[conan]

Let just say about 10°. That would be about offroader level which is definitely way too soft for a low car.

[Hilbert]

Is luxury interior allowed?

[conan]

yes

[abg7]

1999 Linden LE5 4.0

Excerpt from MotorSpace TV (Season 10, Episode 12), March 3rd, 1999

Chris Watts, lead presenter: Although we at MotorSpace TV are big fans of high-performance sports cars and supercars, there is something to be said about riding in the back seat of a highly luxurious full-size sedan such as the Linden LE5, which is what we have here. It’s the latest in a long line of luxury cars that stretches back 30 years, and this one aims to take the brand into the 21st century.

Kevin Roberts, co-host: So this is their base model, isn’t it?

Chris: Exactly. This is a base-model 4.0 with no options at all - but even without them, you’re still getting plenty of car for 48 grand, with a full Nappa leather interior and genuine woodgrain trim. There’s also fully power-adjustable front seats, a tilt/telescope wheel, a Bose premium sound system, and on top of that, it’s got a back seat and trunk big enough for the whole Bod Squad to enjoy.

Kevin: Exterior paint, interior finish and trim accent material are no-cost options - you’ve got 12 exterior colors (including 5 metallic and 5 pearlescent colors), 8 interior colors, and four types of trim accents (light wood, dark wood, gloss black or brushed aluminum) to choose from.

Chris: But what about the beast that lurks under the hood?

Kevin: It’s an all-alloy 4.0L quad-cam 32-valve V8 with variable valve timing developing 240 horsepower and 246 foot-pounds of torque - most of which resides in the lower rev range for smooth driving, and good enough for a top speed of 155 mph and a 0-60 time of just under 8 seconds - which should be sufficient for this car’s target market.

Chris: Speaking of smooth, the standard 5-speed automatic gearbox is geared for relaxed freeway cruising, while the viscous limited-slip diff helps transfer all that power to the ground without much fuss.

Kevin: The way it handles… is best described as decent. It feels planted and secure without feeling too wallowy, thanks to a comfort-biased suspension tune, but this is a big car weighing nearly two tons, so it’s not likely to be seen carving up mountain roads like a sports car. That same suspension tune does, however, make it very comfortable on any road surface you can think of, as we found out during our road test.

Chris: Linden built this car on a new platform incorporating high-strength steel for extra rigidity and safety while saving weight. It also has fully independent suspension front and rear, with dual A-arms for the former and a multilink setup for the latter. They say that it’s necessary for the optional fitment of air suspension.

Kevin: Optional? Only on the 4.0, where you can specify a Deluxe option package which includes adjustable dampers and an upgraded stereo. There’s a more powerful 4.2 model available as well, which has the Deluxe package available by default; both models, however, can be ordered with air suspension at extra cost. You can also get a Sport option package which adds sportier suspension and 17-inch wheels, with the latter item being standard fitment on the 4.2.

Chris: Power junkies should go for the range-topping 330-horsepower 4.4 Supersport, which also has the Deluxe package as standard. However, it cannot be ordered with air suspension; instead, it comes fitted with bigger brakes, 18-inch wheels and high-performance tires, plus a wire-mesh grille instead of the standard egg-crate item.

Kevin: Fuel economy is usually the last thing on the minds of anyone who buys this kind of car, but I’ll mention it anyway. We got just over 25 miles to the gallon on our road test. Overall, this is a tempting package as far as luxury cars are concerned, even in base form.

Chris: Well, that just about sums up the Linden LE5 4.0 - a big, comfortable cruiser meant for long, stress-free highway jaunts. Join us again next week on MotorSpace TV at 9pm Eastern, 6pm Pacific for our next episode.

[stensen]

since hatchbacks are technically allowed, i cannot help but enter with the Vichingo XS (long version). suited for the american market and equipped with an automatic transmission, bench seats in the front, and a sunroof. super easy to get in and load but relatively high seating position. must be the ideal car for this.