This is a certified bruh momento
3 Likes
That was the most glorious bin rounds I have ever laid my eyes upon.
BravoâŠ
FantasticâŠ
EncoreâŠ
7 Likes
Woo that was quite the event. Iâm amazed that so many people still donât know how to manage techpool.
3 Likes
Ach, give them time. You were having problems with it as well for a good while
6 Likes
Exactly right, which my point is for competition it is a feature that tends to not be intuitive. Add in the recommendation of multipliers because some techpool segments are more âpowerfulâ, and that adds serious complexity to an already incredibly complex game.
3 Likes
I simply refuse to learn
2 Likes
The bins from you are always hilarious⊠I donât mind getting binned once again. 
I agree on the engine and itâs fault as well⊠Not very Italian for an I6 Turbo, well I guess itâs because itâs based on a German engine 
3 Likes
In your defense, I think engine stress is VERY italian (maserati, weâre looking at you)
2 Likes
No defense needed, I couldnât be bothered to fix the stress when I saw it. I would actually be surprised if it made into reviews cause I didnât put as much effort into the entry as I originally wanted to.
1 Like
How big is that I6, then? Iâm guessing 4.0L or more.
4.3L to be exact.
Reviews: Part 1 (Sedans)
And despite sporting a massive 7 liter V12, he found out it has relatively thin tires, which raised some worries about it in him.
Harold just got a call from Trevor informing him about this cool feature on his computer called Internet Explorer, telling him that it will help a lot in his search for a new car. He was told about everything from ownerâs forums to official car websites.
It was a lot for the old man to process, but heâs pretty sure he understands everything he needs to know now.
After searches such as:
âHOW DO I SEARCH THE INTERNETâ
âWHEN WILL I DIEâ
âWHERE CAN I BUY VIAGARA PILLS ONLINEâ
He finally focused on car shopping, and searched:
âWHAT ARE THE BEST NEW PREMIUM SEDANS FOR SENIORS TO REPLACE AN OLD BROKEN PIECE OF SHITCAR;/â
But as an old fuck with little knowledge of computers, he wonât be digging much into the cars this time around; he will mainly be choosing them based on first impressions.
Kaizen FC32
Haroldâs first result was the Kaizen FC32. The striking design of the Kaizen drew Haroldâs slowly deteriorating eyes immediately. After doing some research, it had the engineering to match as well, with it being easy to drive and very reliable, all for a great value.
Verdict
Mara Kavaler Mk3
Haroldâs next result was the Mara Kavaler. Harold was extremely puzzled when the Mara came up on his search, it really didnât look very premium to him, but the real shocker was the price being well under his budget. And not to his surprise, he found out it felt as cheap as it was.
Verdict
BINNED
This has the advantages of the highest reliability and lowest price (like unnecessarily low, god damn), but that's where it ends, as its cheapness shows by being statistically well below average everywhere that matters. Harold wants the best value for money; he has no reason to just cheap out.
It also doesnât help that it just looks ugly, especially thanks to those absolutely tiny 15 inch rims and the color of, for lack of a better name, piss yellow.
Lacam Excellence
Next up was this long luxury sedan called the Lacam Excellence, which besides from looking a bit bland, Harold liked it. He found out that people said it was very easy to drive and comfortable, but it was at the top of his budget, however.
Verdict
Fanella Aleggia GLS
Next was the Fanella Aleggia GLS. Harold didnât like the design of the Aleggia, feeling it looked too outdated. Unexpectedly, he learns that the interior was meticulously crafted by hand, which means it was very comfortable, but then his disappointment grew once again after learning it wasnât that much of a pleasure to drive.
Verdict
ABAC 290 GT
Haroldâs next result was the ABAC 290. He immediately hated the design, feeling it didnât feel premium enough. He couldnât find anything else of substance until he found out that it had a 7 speed transmission with 2 overdrive gears, but that was actually a lie and it just had a 9 speed.
Verdict
BINNED
The design feels way too bland, and honestly feels like it was stolen from some econobox, and the shortened rear bumper just feels weird and unnecessary.
I was also very confused about this having a 9 speed transmission, as the max a car would have in this time period is 7. But when I found out they were supposed to be overdrive gears, it just made me disappointed, since extra gears â overdrive.
Also, an all cast iron engine. Never do that in a modern car.
AMB SE400
@EnCR
Haroldâs next result was the AMB SE400. It had a simple design, yet he still liked it. After reading more about it, it was reasonable comfortable and good to drive for a decent price.
Verdict
Aisare ES-36 Saishin
@Falling_Comet @Est_Nbmstr
Haroldâs next result was the Aisare ES-36. He absolutely loved the design of it, which he thought felt very premium while still having a sporty flare to it. After some research, he found that was equally comfortable and was acclaimed for its easy drivability.
Verdict
Macht Teuton BlackBolt Executive Package
@GetWrekt01 @ACoolCrab
Haroldâs next result was the Macht Teuton BlackBolt. He felt that design felt too familiar for some reason, but he wasnât immediately turned off by it. He also heard about it being decently comfortable and easy to drive.
Verdict
Rhania Myrahn
@happyfireballman
Haroldâs next result was the Rhania Myrahn. He thought he just couldnât see the car very well, so he went to get his glasses, but it still does look that terrible. Regardless, he found out it was surprisingly comfortable, but unfortunately it means sitting in that thing.
Verdict
Primus Cognoscenti 600X
@Happyhungryhippo
Haroldâs next result was the Cognoscenti. Harold wasnât a fan of the design, and he began to hate it even more once he saw the massive triangle tail lights.
And despite sporting a massive 7 liter V12, he found out it has relatively thin tires, which raised some worries about it in him.
Verdict
BINNED
The design really isnât that good, with massive headlights in the front, and what appears to be a completely different car in the rear with even bigger tail lights and an overall sharp looking design language, way different from the rounded front.
A 7 liter V12 does sound really promising, until you see what car it is in, and the fact the all the power from it is being carried by 225mm tires.
29 Likes
Thank you kindly, good sir.
4 Likes
Not just because it adds weight compared to one with alloy heads (at the very least), but also because it increases emissions.
Quite a good idea grouping similar cars together, makes it easier to compare them too.
I just hope the pickup/Ute category isnât too crowded
5 Likes
Reviews: Part 1.5 (Sedans cont.)
So that was the complete list of cars that showed up when Harold searched for sedans. So far, he is absolutely amazed at the wonders of the world wide web, so he will for sure keep using it, with his next search being for sports cars/luxury coupes.
Quaglia La Diosa V6
Haroldâs next result was the Quaglia La Diosa. He thought the uneven vertical grille looked rough, but he still liked the look of the car overall. He had some major doubts raised over the 250 horsepower V6 and front wheel drive this car had, but to his surprise he found that the La Diosa was praised a lot for being easy and fun to drive.
Verdict
Wolfe E840 X4 V8
@karhgath
Haroldâs next result was the Wolfe E840. He felt it looked pretty generic, but not terrible. After some research, he found that it was praised for easy drivability, and high reliability and safety, but it was on the expensive side.
Verdict
Authié et Dallier 8/30 sedan
@Knugcab
Haroldâs next result was the et Dallier. On the surface, it looked like a fancy large luxury sedan, but Harold soon learned that it was a real sleeper, sporting a really high revving V8, a DCT transmission and high performance sports tires. Because of all of this, the ride quality suffered a lot.
Verdict
Armuth Corso
@Lurka
Haroldâs next result was the Armuth Corso. He though that the proportions of it looked very odd. But after doing research on it, he found that it was acclaimed for itâs comfort, drivability and reliability.
Verdict
Kerberos KL453
@nightwave
Haroldâs next result was the KL453. Harold wasnât a fan of the design, feeling that the headlights looked too low, especially due to the big upper gap in the grille theyâre attached to. Upon doing research, he found that there were many complaints about its drivability and it was also very close to his max budget.
Verdict
Hinode Mahkota Athlon
@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T
Haroldâs next result was the Hinode Mahkota. Harold absolutely loved the design, and his old eyes could spot great amounts of detail all over the car. Despite being on the less costly side of all the cars heâd seen as of now, he still heard great reviews about its ride quality everywhere.
Verdict
Silverstone Gallahad 5.0
@SolidSnake
Haroldâs next result was the Gallahand. He immedietly despised the looks, especially with the chrome trim slapped on the front bumper, which he thought doesnât fit the car at all. And after doing research on it, it all just got worse; despite being at the top of his budget, he couldnât find a single positive review, since they all complained about its painful ride and awful reliability.
Verdict
BINNED
If I hadnât overlooked it, this would damn well be an instabin. Oh well, time to just roast it now. 
Itâs yet another sad result of being well under the techpool limit, and consequentially, itâs way too expensive but still sucks soooo badly. It has awful comfort and is dead last in drivability, even though it has all the options that help it.
And then thereâs the engine and ohhh boy is it fucking dreadful. First of all, it is severely undersquare by a whole 37 MILLIMETERS (82mm x 117mm 
), and consequentially has a redline of 5000 rpm to prevent it from exploding. Then as a laughably lazy way to prevent turbo lag, the balancing mass has been lowered to the minimum and beefy cams were slapped on to give it a higher idle speed, but then the fuel map was set to 0 for some reason to ensure the absolute worst possible throttle response, even though it gets awful fuel economy.
i dont even want to comment on the terrible looks after losing it on this now
IVERA Imperium LXT
@TheYugo45GV
Haroldâs next result was the Imperium LXT. The Imperium is apparently in its 8th year of production, and itâs age shows. Instead of those flashy new active suspension systems, it uses an old hydropneumatic setup instead which he learns is supposed to result in a better ride, but is prone to breaking down, but only the latter shows, as the car is known for reliability issues, but also it is said it isnât the best to drive.
Verdict
BINNED
The design of this car doesnât look that special and just very old. It also uses some weird engineering choices, such as all-steel construction, huge brakes that still fade, CD entertainment when a Satnav would be standard, and the aforementioned hydropneumatic suspension. Despite the hydro suspension, its comfort isnât that much better than cars with progressive suspension, and it doesnât have that good drivability.
Convaier LTS
@vouge
Haroldâs last result from the sedans was the Convaier LTS. He really liked the design, feeling it felt very sharp and premium. But upon doing research of it, he found that comfort was not the best compared to its competitors, and everyone was questioning why it used this weird all cast iron engine.
Verdict
BINNED
I was so close to letting this car through. The design looks amazing and it has decent drivability. However, the things that are holding it back are the below average comfort levels and all cast iron engine, the latter being a big no for a modern premium car. If this was for extra reliability, you fucked up achieving that as well since it is still below average in that department. 
Then, the final nail in the coffin was just being at the top of the budget.
So that was the complete list of cars that showed up when Harold searched for sedans. So far, he is absolutely amazed at the wonders of the world wide web, so he will for sure keep using it, with his next search being for sports cars/luxury coupes.
20 Likes
I celebrate! Got through the first round on my first CSR.
For the taillights, it was something I myself was unsure about, I was drawing from Cadillac concepts adjusted to smoothness of a Bentley 
3 Likes
Arenât most full sized non performance luxury cars be mostly steel? Iâm curious as to why you think so. 
Standard untreated steel as a body or chassis material just wonât cut it for many modern cars due to its inferior environmental resistance. For most cars, it is therefore preferable to use treated steel bodywork and a galvanized steel chassis at the very least, but if rust protection is of particular importance, you should upgrade to a corrosion-resistant or AHS steel chassis, depending on the era and budget.
For 2005 all-steel construction isnât so archaic as to be binnable, but the Audi A8 and Jaguar XJ were by this point all-aluminium. I assume LS here was expecting partial aluminium panels