@Ornate Velkolepy Popular 140
What a ridiculous looking car. The proportion is utterly weird. It’s another very intriguing prospect that shall be examined with great interest. It’s very obviously not a front engine design since there’s no opening at the front for the air to go in, but on the back there’s a lot of it. This car promises great thing at much cheaper price, and it is cheap, very cheap. Second cheapest from what we’ve seen. What’s interesting is that the executive of the company tried to bribe me with cash to choose this as a candidate. I told him off immediately since I already have too much money to burn and people might not like that fact.
Step inside and the spacious interior appears to be hastily added. Almost like an afterthought. While I see what they’re trying to do. They clearly knew that if they’d send a barebone interior it wouldn’t be good enough so they added some trinkets that would help the case. Maybe it would? Maybe it wouldn’t. It doesn’t matter as it’s just on par with anything else so it’s all down to the driving. Oh, that’s going to be important.
Since I will have to sell the car to a wide variety of population, any car that obviously has a different approach to it must not deviate from the norm too much in the few characteristics. By that, I mean it must feel like a normal car. It can be weird, but it must not make the people feel weirded out. There has to be a familiarity. Apparently, this has 60 horsepower, but from starting it up I think it’s electric. It’s so quiet I cannot hear anything at all. And it has a 4-speed gearbox with utterly vague feeling, likely due to long linkages required.
Dump the clutch and off we go. A bit of a peel away too and an absolute alien feeling from any other cars. It jumps off with much enthusiasm despite the horsepower, very likely due to weight distribution. Apparently it’s very German Sports Car-esque with about 40/60 front and rear. And I suspect that’s why this car falls flat on its face immediately as I turn the steering wheel. No, it’s not the lack of power steering, as some clever engineering, skinny front tyres and weight distribution gave this car the ease of steering even without power steering. But it’s the darty, wandering feel of the handling.
At higher than 80km/h I felt as if I had absolutely no steering. Neither the quick, slight turn. Or the sharp left and right. This car doesn’t respond to the input I’ve given it at all no matter what speed it is. I don’t have to get into the absolutely woeful brakes (which I suspect is from a weird drum/disc setup required from weird weight distribution). The brakes stops the car well enough, but it fades way too easily.
It seems interesting on paper. Just that in practice I don’t drive this car. I gave it slight suggestion and it might do it. It doesn’t work no matter how good it is on paper. No one will buy it unless they have no other choices. But in this Authoritarian society, people have plenty of choices, if not in Politics.
@Knightophonix FAAL Foreia 1.8 CLX
An incredibly unique looking car. Almost like a Keika? What I like most about this is that it’s not ugly. It’s weird, alright. But it’s actually quite a sharp looking car. Its oozed modernity and timelessness. I can see this lasting into the 2000’s with ease. (Not giving anything away yet!).
The trouble is. The interior is absolutely atrocious. Ridiculously low rent. Especially when it’s not that cheap, this is not acceptable. People aren’t going to accept this terrible perceived quality. Which is a damn shame.
Because had it had a better interior, this car would’ve been superb. I couldn’t resist a test drive even if the interior is fucking awful. It has a 2-litre engine with 100 horsepower, 5 speed manual gearbox and a weird front drive layout with engine lengthways. I don’t know why it’s a popular setup, but here we go. It accelerates with good turn of speed, it turns in decently enough, it’s brakes are absolutely joyous compared to other cars. Might be a bit thick in weight, but it doesn’t wallow about too much.
I would have totally accepted a slightly better interior. You don’t even have to give us more stuff, but they should’ve at least been better made than this. As it is, it’s not acceptable. Which is a damn shame because it’d have been a real contender.
@Leedar Saboro Emprezi
Compared to the last few cars. This car is just a car. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s not ugly, but I don’t think I can call it a car. It looks like one of those low detail cars in comic books background. Not much feature to it. I can’t remember what it looks like after averting my eyes from it.
The inside is similarly bland. This car is almost like one of those monsters where you’ll forget it immediately after you take your eyes off it. I’m sure if I blink it’ll turn up behind me and slay me or something. Ew. Anyway, it could be good? The blurb said 103 horsepower from 1.7-litre engine. I start it up and there’s no sound, eerily quiet. Is this really a car or is it a devil impersonating a car from description somebody made through telephone? 5-speed manual gearbox which works well I think? Let’s try it.
I accelerate away, it’s quite quick for what it is. Combination of good power and low weight I think. This is one of those wandering car again. At high speed this car doesn’t feel all that stable, but it doesn’t have much drama to it. Just a quiet, restrain ride up to 180km/h.
But then something weird happens. I turn the car quickly and it blown my mind off. This car is absolutely joyous to drive.
It turns where I wanted it to go. It stops when I wanted it to do. It’s well balanced, and it’s very responsive compared to other cars. The steering might feel a bit like video game, but the car chassis is very capable. It’s also incredibly comfortable. Oh my god, this car rides well. A perfectly tuned suspension that while making the car quite wandery at high speed, is more than capable of holding on the road at low ones. And is a very supple ride.
It’s very expensive and the exterior is terrible. But it drives good? How should I feel about this? Hm? It’s a very good car. But I don’t think people are going to like it, you know. I don’t think people are going to even remember it’s their car. It doesn’t have that aspiration looks to it. Hell, it doesn’t have any looks to it at all. Is it even a car? I can’t sell this. I can’t sell it at all no matter how hard I try. Which is a shame because it really is a joy to drive.
@DeadlockRiff Xenos 5k
The weirdest thing happened. There is this car, Xenos 5k. It’s supposed to be here. A manufacturer sends a proposal of a car via fax that supposed to fit all the specification required and would be a good fit to the test. But for whatever reason I seems to not be able to find it. It’s supposed to look very distinctive, and it isn’t here. I cannot for the god of me finds out where it has gone.
I went and asked Mr. Booth what happened to it, and he didn’t know. He has absolutely no idea although it’s clearly listed in the manifest. It’s not anywhere to be seen that’s for sure. I then asked for the paper work we’ve been doing in order to gather the car.
The purchase invoice is here, the bill of sale is here. The proposal papers, the specification sheet. It doesn’t look promising, but it is here. But the car isn’t here.
Maybe it was lost at the sea? I had Mr. Booth called the shipyard and ask about it. And it appears that the shipment was here, and the car was there. They sounded like they were holding something though. With pauses and… Can I hear a bit of laughter on the phone? No no, they aren’t laughing. And they said the car has been put on the trailer and sent to here with the others. But they of course wouldn’t know whereabout of it after the fact.
It seems that nobody would steal such a terrible car even in this bad economy. And why would they do it to this car specifically? I don’t know. Seems weird as hell. But the car is lost somewhere on the way, surely. How?! It’s supposed to have been put on trailer and everything. And trusted employees of the majesty’s shipyard has seen the car and know it was there.
Oh well, since we have enough car, I wouldn’t go and try to reacquire it. But I will lose sleep as where about it’s gone. That’s bugging the hell out of me. I guess I will never know its real fate.
@Cheeseman Valta Kyori 1.9 Deluxe
A stonking looking car that’s for sure. This is one of the best designs I’ve seen today. Nicely proportioned, good details. Not too over styled and not too bland. It would make a great candidate but only if the rest of the car matches up.
The interior is oh so mediocre like most other cars. But the stereo is quite banging, high quality for the price. Oh no wait, this car is quite expensive so that bloody well should have been. The specification sheet shows 1.9-litre engine with 100 horsepower promising this car a decent performance. It’s also a 5-speed Manual Transmission so it should really be quite entertaining. One of the notable things is how smooth the engine seems to be at start up compared to other cars. Combined with normal sounding exhaust this should be a decent drive if it’s not too harsh.
I dump the clutch and set off, the car accelerates well as expected. The power also keeps on coming with decent punch. But if one were to enjoy this car best, they gotta throw it into corners. Oh my god. This is one of the best handling car I’ve seen today. With road holding way better than you’d expect and the ride quality that is of a decent level. This car is stable, grippy, yet also quite enthusiastic in the corner. The steering may be a bit vague, but that’s alright. The brakes stop the car well enough, although if you aren’t careful you can lock the wheel easily. At least it doesn’t swing the tail end first.
Incredible car. If a bit expensive. We’ll have to see if it’s a viable economically to do this as it’s really quite expensive. But if the rest of the car holds up I can see it becoming our national car.
@nerd Sofa L1400-E
The legend. Sofa has always been famous for being the crappiest car you could buy on the market. A prospect of intrigue. It’s actually not that cheap, being much more expensive than the YMMV and Velkolepy. And I knew by this point that this car ain’t going to work. But it’s always an intriguing sight to see such a bad car in metal.
You see, a Sofa in picture doesn’t actually show the shoddiness of the workmanship it really has. The panels barely fit together, the tyres that’s dry rotting even though they’re new. The interior that looks like a bear has gotten inside and mauled everything. It’s like a little toy car that’s been enlarged to life size.
I am not going to drive it, of course. No matter how weird of an attraction it is. No, I do not want to die of tetanus. Maybe I should put it on a plinth somewhere and let it rot. Not that it’s not already doing that while parking here. I can see a trim piece, although it barely has any, trying to escape.
I can see why people are weirdly attracted to it. It is very oddly charming, and I can’t be mad at it like some other car. I don’t know why, but that’s Sofa thing.
@GROOV3ST3R Leo VSi ES
Here is a car that is ugly in a bad way. Ew. What is it exactly? An abstract art experiment in car design? I don’t like it at all. I mean it’s unique as hell and people aren’t going to accept it. But maybe it’s a good car? I gotta try it just to know I am not missing on the most amazing car on the planet or something, although I highly doubt it.
The inside isn’t as grotesque as the outside, almost disappointing in a way. There’s a brochure situated on the bland dashboard. This car has engine displacement of 2.2-litre, which is not a good thing. But the thing that immediately threw it out of the window is the presence of Turbocharger. Nope, not gonna happen.
More alarming though, is the fact that with me sitting in it. The suspension didn’t move a millimeter. I will admit I am a reasonably thin guy and most other car don’t move much when I sit in it. But this car doesn’t move at all. I step out and try to push the suspension down to see the travel, and no matter how much force I’ve given it, this car doesn’t bulge. The suspension is like a piece of rock.
I am not driving it, I do not want my spine to shoot out of my head. What the bloody hell is this suspension tuning? It’s stiff like a track car.
@SkylineFTW97 DMV Gust LS
I reckon that if you ask people to draw a shitbox, this is what most would’ve drawn. A very nondescript car with clear intention in being cheap ass box. It’s interesting in how it’s so not interesting apart from the catching red paint. Let’s examined it closer.
The inside is standard stuff, nothing out of the ordinary and nothing stands out. But once you try the switchgear and knobs, this car has a certain quality to it. A tad nicer than most we’ve seen today. The brochure said 1.6-litre with 89 horsepower and it’s sent through 5-speed manual gearbox. But all of this is just academic, really.
Because like the Leo VSi ES before it. Me stepping in doesn’t move the suspension an inch. Actually, from just getting in, I think this is even stiffer than the Leo VSi ES. A suspension made of literal rock for sure.
I sure as hell ain’t going to drive it, same reason as before.
@USDMFTW Hawker Leopard CXE
I reckon when this car was designed, the designer has done the front but procrastinated until deadline and then designed the back at the last minute. The front is okay, but the rear doesn’t appear to be finished. No coherence to it at all.
Stepping inside and you’ll find a normal interior, stuff we’ve seen a lot today. The specification sheet shows a 97 horsepower 1.75 litre engine that should theoretically make it go well. But when I start it up, I realise that this car is incredibly noisy. One of the loudest car we’ve seen today. Weird. Almost like it has the exhaust done to it and not a factory car. Noisy bastard.
It’s a 4-speed Automatic with electronic control, the brochure proclaims. But it’s just the same stuff most manufacturer already has put in their car. So, I slap it in D and off we go. The acceleration is on the fast side, but still not that quick. But it’s even more noisy when push hard. Verging on being unacceptable.
This car shines better when I throw it into corners at high speed. It’s not the best handling car we’ve had today, but it’s stable and well balance. Not too hard to drive and certainly not skittish. The suspension is on a firm, stable side and quite well setup. The brakes is the best part of this car, superb feeling, no fade. But a little bit noisy. This car really seems to be great ONLY if it’s quieter in every area.
I don’t know about this; brake and exhaust noise really are annoying after any sort of driving done to it. Hm. And the unfinished appearance certainly is a minus against it. I mean, it’s a decent enough drive, but when there are so many other great cars we’ve seen today. I have doubts.
@Mythrin Pajura SupraStar 1.4 Ri
From the first impression alone, this car I reckon is a bit too old fashion. The design is pleasing enough but it wouldn’t last out the 2000’s. That’s a mark against it but I’m not discounting it just yet.
I step inside and I felt that this is somehow very cramp. I’m not sure, maybe the outside proportion don’t allow for good, airy space inside. It felt like a 1970’s car inside although the dashboard is modern and contemporary plastic and cloth. The brochure said this has piddly 70 horsepower from 1.4-litre engine transmitted via 5 speed gearbox.
Starting it up and the car felt normal, not too loud, not too quiet. But 70 horsepower doesn’t promise great thing, really. I dump the clutch and peel away, except it didn’t really peel, more like a jump forward. No wheel spins. Putting it up to pace, this car doesn’t really do acceleration as such, but it’s adequate. The issue is that at speed the engine is spinning crazily and the wind noise is horrible. The car isn’t a comfortable prospect despite a soft riding suspension. The car also turns in quite well, despite terrible tyres. And it doesn’t wallow much in the bends.
In the end I think this car, while there’s no fatal flaw anywhere to be seen. It will do the job just fine. Isn’t worth the pricetag. It does the job okay, but no better than other cars (with some area being subpar). But it’s VERY expensive to buy in. No Bueno.
@DriftinCovet1987 Aviator Ronolit DXiT
A decent enough looking car had it not been for the weird backend. Everything looks disproportional, badges, lights. I dunno. It’s also very overstyled and not very friendly to the specific demographic I am thinking of. Hm.
I step inside and find a totally unexceptional interior that we’ve seen a lot of time. Grey plastic and bar plastic steering wheel. I reach for the pamphlet I see on top of the dashboard and start reading the blurb. It’s a 1.4-litre engine that promises 88 horsepower, not bad I think. But then I found out that this was achieved via a forced induction method. That will not do. No matter how good it is, a Turbocharging is not a viable method to increase horsepower in a low altitude area with hot climate. Reliability is a huge concern that this is a direct removal without further consideration.
@koolkei @Mr.Computah Komodo Kaste
A decent looking car. Sharp, modern, contemporary. It doesn’t oozes luxury, but it doesn’t need to. It’s a pleasant design. I like it. Sleek and interesting too.
I step inside and find a totally basic interior, nothing fancy here either but it’s pleasant enough and totally fitting of the outside styling. I reached for the brochure on top of the dashboard and found out that this car has 2-litre engine producing misery. 87 Horsepower. The gearbox is a 5-speed unit without any fancy stuff. And it weighs out 1070kg. A thoroughly average car that should do the job just fine.
I start it up, it’s actually quite loud for what it is. Sort of like a car with tuned exhaust again. I accelerate away, and this doesn’t even chirp it’s tyres. It’s very grippy tyre that’s for sure and that made me hope for great thing when it comes to handling. The car gets up to speed at quite a decent rate and the while it’s nothing to write home about. I have a feeling that this car keep accelerating quite well until it hits the electronic limiter at 180km/h. This car also is quite cheap.
I then try to throw this car into the corner at great speed. And it does it admirably. The front end dives a bit, but dig in and change the car’s direction very well. The issue is at high speed this car is a bit wandery. But that’s okay I think. I then stomp on the brake and find it to be adequate, if not overpowered. It stops very well, and it has ABS that is not too bad in action.
Very interesting. I think it’s quite a good car. Nothing much of note and nothing much to write home about.
@Leonardo9613 Baltazar Quark 1.6 CX Sedan
The famous Baltazar Quark. The outside doesn’t need explanation, it literally is just a car. It’s about as unique as a piece of paper. It’s off-white as well which doesn’t make it distinctive. This car is bland at it’s finest. But it’s also well designed and pleasing in generic, average way.
The inside too is generic and average, we’ve seen this about a million time before. Plastic fantastic. I reach out for the specification sheet and it said to have 1600cc and 87 horsepower. An okay amount of power and nothing more. The transmission is four speed automatic with fuzzy logic control. Perfectly adequate and is pretty much the same as any other car in this test. It’s also about average in price too.
Starting it up and I find it to be quiet, not very noisy at all. I put it in Drive and accelerate away at what I think is about the average rate. Not too fast and not too slow. It just get up and go. I then try to throw it into corners like a maniac and what I found was a revelation.
This is about the most perfect you could tune a car like this. It doesn’t roll a lot. It’s stable up to its top speed at 180km/h. And oh my god. The turn in is way better than the rest of the pack that I have to pinch myself. For an economical car, this is a fantastically sorted chassis. The brake is equipped with ABS and is nice too.
This here is a car that I cannot fault. It’s just excellent in every way. But this isn’t the first time I’ve said something about the car I am testing today. There has been plenty of perfect car. And this is merely one of them.
Because having had a look at every car. I will have to choose the 6 best cars. 6 that I reckon would fit the purpose best. Why 6? Because I will be examining these cars in great detail with a few person. Mr. Bhoom from The Ministry of Economy, Mr. Jed from Automotive Association of Kala, and Ms. Ree from Ministry of Culture. They will be evaluating the part of the car I couldn’t get into at first glance. And because these people don’t have all the time in the world, only 6 will be chosen.
Mr. Jed and the team of his mechanic will be taking the cars apart and then along with Mr. Bhoom, we’ll see how easy they are to fix, how easy they are to produce, and if it’s a well-engineered car. Ms. Ree will be evaluating the potential market value and image these cars would be able to achieve. The crucial stuff. I won’t be able to choose these cars from just driving them, will I?
So, let’s go through the cars again from the note I’ve done. I am scribbling down the car I think I will inspect in closer details with my subordinate.
Fuji Coherence SESI
Garuda Pesona 1.8
RCM Fox 1.8
Valta Kyori 1.9 Deluxe
Komodo Kaste
Baltazar Quark 1.6 CX Sedan
.
. In all seriousness though, was fun reading through this thread. Had good laughs here and there
