CSR161 - With an Attitude [DONE]

My only real complaint was with the question of solid disc front brakes. This is 1993, correct? Vented disc brakes typically didn’t show up on cars like Crown Vics. I realize I was trying some things with the car, no real complaints with the critique otherwise. I just thought out of everything, the disc brakes would be the most normal.

Anyways, good luck to everyone left!

PS, I do have a question, though. I’m curious about the understeer you talked about. I remember tuning the suspension to an even 99.5% Drivability to 99.5% Sportiness. Should I have been looking at something else? Not complaining, just want to know for next time.

This is 1993. My knowledge isn’t perfect so I don’t know it all, but wikipedia at least says that the Crown Vic got front vented discs back when it was the LTD Crown Victoria - that is, MY1980. The proliferation of vented brakes to replace solid ones in front was quick, it’s the rear where you could find anything all the way down to drums (witness: My Buick Roadmaster, of 1996 Vintage, is set up in vented/drum fashion).

Regarding the understeer: The tuning is correct from a stat perspective. And the correct, optimal tuning per current Automation standards is a “neutral normally, understeer at the limit” one. Problem is, your car’s limit is 0.62g low-speed and 0.60g high-speed, meaning any exuberant driving will trigger the understeer quickly. It’s tied for the second-worst lateral grip in the competition with Karhgath’s car.

2 Likes

What I usually do when it comes to what would have been realistic for cars of the era in terms of brake types and sizes, if I am unsure, I check out the parts at parts vendors. Seems like a 1993 Vic would have had vented rotors after all.

3 Likes

My mistake. Seems I have been confusing brakes this whole time.

What would a respectable number for that car be?

For reference, my entry could manage 0.755g on a 20m skidpad (low speeds) and 0.728g on a 200m skidpad (high speeds), which makes it less prone to understeer. Anything above 0.8g on either skidpad figure could be overkill, however.

1 Like

Thanks, that is a stat that i’ve seen, but never took into account.


ROUND 2-4 - THE MILLION DOLLAR GIMMICK


Parking Lot: Gainesville, Florida

Prologue for Round 2-4

Gainesville was done and dusted for the heels. Daytona Beach was next - and Maverick had already called ahead to a couple dealerships there to arrange test-drives for the cars he’d so far approved of. Scott and Marv both had matches that night, whereas Phil and Alan only cut a promo. Mike offered to carpool with the veterans this time around so that they’d have time to catch their breath.

Scott: So Mav, did you watch the performance this time around?

Maverick: I have. The kids were hyping up some reinforcements: could they be talking about me?

Marv: Not just you. They’re going to “hire” Scott and you as a team of tough bodyguards, and we’ll get you two over as heels by having you beat up a couple of main eventers.

Maverick: Oh, that’s right, they have that rich California gimmick. I still find it funny that our Californians are from Cincinnati and… What was it, way down South in Austin?

Scott: The real ironic thing is that I’m the only one here with actual acting experience. That production I was in several months ago took me to that cesspool that is Cali - and I did manage to catch a ride in a bunch of fancy rides.

Maverick: Do tell.

Scott: There was this one little number called a Luxus. I’m really not sure of it’s the model or the make, but sitting in the back was a real good experience.

Marv: Oh, are you talking about that new-age car with no ass? I’d trust it as far as I could throw it, really. I heard it has about as big an engine as a typical economy import.

Maverick: This isn’t sounding good already.

Scott: Oh, it’s not perfect. The owner of that car was complaining about no trunk space, weird driving behavior, and the fact that nobody looks at him like a star when he’s in it. But God, that back seat…

Maverick: Remember, I’m buying a car for me, not for you. If it drives like crap and I can’t put that riot gear costume I’m going to be wearing, I don’t want it.

(While overall not a bad effort, and engineered for some properly high comfort, that’s only ever been half the battle. The styling is very lackluster, and - more importantly - drivability is very poor. There are no other “exceptional” stats that counteract those downsides, with the tiny 2-liter turbo straight 6 precluding a blowout on prestige and price still being close to max.)

Scott: I also got to ride in a new Wells; Again, a very satisfactory experience. It’s got that neat hydraulic suspension mumbo-jumbo. If you’ve got the money for one, that’s a real contender.

Maverick: I actually heard about it. Problem is, I heard about it from Consumer Reports. I could afford the thing, but I couldn’t afford the fines from no-showing events. They’re not built good, and we’re not California cats staying in the same city all the time.

Marv: And is it just me or do a lot of those new luxury cars just look very ordinary? it’s as if the rich people want to prepare they’re like the common folk when they clearly aren’t.

(The only non-bin car with a reliability in the 60s. That’s just not good enough, I’m afraid. Other “lowlights” are a maxed out price, expensive service, very average dynamics, and a look that says “LS400 but designed in Russia”. Total lack of quality in major areas is the prime suspect.)

Maverick: Next you might tell me you loved a Serena car or something! Love ya to death, Scott, but this stuff just isn’t right.

Scott: Come on, that’s a low blow! I don’t think you could defend a Select if you tried. Teeny narrow wheels, weird Japanese mirrors, and a 3.9-liter V6 that they once mislabeled as a 4.1 - with all the space-age technology you could want, but still not enough to make it rev any.

Marv: That, and it’s the largest car that’s ever given me a sore back. The Boss, Eric, has one - and I never wanna see that monster again. That being said, supposedly they are renowned for their reliability - but with a car like that…

Maverick: …You actually do want it to break!

(Not as bad a start as what the in-character text suggests, but a miss nonetheless, being neither actually luxurious - with a lower-third of the pack showing in comfort - nor very fast or prestigious, with those dynamics-robbing 195mm wide wheels and a prestige rating in the lower sixth of entries. And yes, you did call your engine a 4.1 after the family displacement only to destroke it to a 3.9.)

Marv: Honestly, all these cars have had the same issue as the AMS that my brother bought: Without substance, it doesn’t matter how much of a premium look you aim for. If it feels chintzy, if it’s not credible, it’s not gonna work.

Scott: I remember when he bought that thing, actually. I was there when he was in his honeymoon phase. It broke under warranty and the schmuck was happy he didn’t have to pay. Dammit, a warranty means it shouldn’t break anyhow!

Maverick: And it’s really a shame. You get a car that looks like a Rolls, except there’s no bumpers and it’s the length of a midsize. Pass.

(The high drivability figure is impressive - the low prestige and reliability are not. The AMS spends so much time having to be high luxury that it fails to touch all bases as a premium vehicle. Though not all at 0, the culprit is still a deficit of quality. Also, the wheelbase to length ratio approaches that of a BMW 3-series compact… This body really needs some bumpers.)

Maverick: Honestly, Scott, no offense, but all these cars so far have sounded just like California: All shock, no substance.

Scott: Well… There was this Japanese thing. Definitely way more study… Like a limo version of a smaller car, but with actual presence. Suisei, I think they called it.

Marv: Oh yeah, those .The real big one are called Tempuses - still a six, but a very good one. Very comfortable, very easy, and maybe not the most over-equipped but it still does it job very well.

Scott: The best part is that they manage to keep it really pretty and well-recognizable despite the Japanese same-box heritage. It’s got unique curves.

Maverick: That’s definitely the best luck we’ve had so far. Suisei dealers are everywhere, so I’ll probably just waltz in and ask to see one when we’re on our test binge on Saturday. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.

(Lots of space-aging on the engine along with the successful drivability taming of a huge body get the Suisei through. There is also surprising dynamic soundness, and I bet that 5-speed doesn’t hurt a bit. Air suspension, body quality off the scales.)


From this batch of entries,

@Falling_Comet 's entry

advances to the finals.


16 Likes

I think I somehow called that Serena’s engine a “4.1L” and “3902” (cc) in the same name. That’s gonna annoy anyone looking for parts for years. Whoops.

That’s fair enough considering the limitations of the Indicator body sets (too light, not enough front/rear overhang range), although I could have pushed the front and rear bumper morphs further out, which would have mitigated its overly short overhangs. Even so, at just 4.79 m long (for a 3.0m wheelbase), it’s still too small for Mike’s tastes - 4.9m or more, with longer overhangs front and rear, would have been more suitable.

Hindsight suggests a six-cylinder engine (as most of the finalists have) of identical displacement would have been a better option - it left enough headroom for more quality points in places where they really matter (interior, engine family, fuel system, etc.). Also, I did fit treated steel panels to bump up the environmental resistance, but even downgrading to partial aluminum bodywork would not have saved it by freeing up some spare cash for use elsewhere.

And yes, 51 prestige and 71.6 reliability are both on the low side for a car entered in this field (and obvious symptoms of insufficient quality) - 53-55 for the former and 73-75 for the latter would have been closer to the ballpark range for this round, if I’m not mistaken.

One thing’s for sure: With all 31 entries accounted for, and all of the top 5 slots already filled, the final phase of judging will definitely be one to watch - there will be two front-drivers (one longitudinal, the other transverse) and three rear-drivers vying for Maverick’s attention.

The brief still includes the information on realism priorities and warnings, correct?


FINAL ROUND - THE NEW WORLD ORDER


Suisei Dealership, Daytona Beach, Fla.

The heels - all five of them, young and old - woke up early, after barely a 3 or 4 hour sleep, to catch the opening hours of the Suisei dealership. With several of them having matches that night, it wouldn’t do to let the dealer tour run late. The winter day was late to begin - so the sun was still creaking its way past the horizon as the five met up.

Phil: Honestly, old man, this is kinda low. I have a singles match tonight! I open the damn show!

Marv: Actually, this was my idea. They’re making us all a stable, and we may end up traveling together more often than not. Besides, you’re doing a job ^ , aren’t you? Are you really that excited for that?

^ : “doing the job” means losing a wrestling match per the way you’re booked.

Alan: So that’s what that memo where Scott gets fake-injured and can’t wrestle on the pay-per-view was about?

Maverick: Something like that. Scott gets hurt, you interfere in his match and help him go over, but since he’s already hurt he hires Marv and I to fill up your team at WarGames. We go over there, and the actual stable gets made as a result.

^ : “going over” means winning a wrestling match per the way you’re booked.

Phil: And who’s to say they don’t leave me out the program if I don’t make that opening match? Y’all don’t have enough stroke to keep me out of trouble, so let’s just get on with this already!

Alan: Wow, I didn’t even know the Japanese made anything this big. Car, or engine. I thought they were all into economy.

Scott: Well, the whole tech explosion of late made them rich. I’ve been in this car already and I can attest that it’s proper luxury.

Maverick: I’m not a fan of how it looks like a long version of a smaller car, now that I have a good look at it. Big-ass rear door here, and the glass won’t roll down far.

Scott: Juuuust give the damn thing a chance.

On the road

Maverick: Well, it feels good here up front. It’s easy, it’s not slow, it’s solid - honestly, just driving it it’s like my old Plymouth, except it doesn’t suck.

Scott: So… It’s not your Plymouth? You aren’t fooling anybody here, that thing was a deathtrap.

Alan: I like it back here, that’s for sure. Even in the middle seat, I do kinda feel… Chaffeured.

Marv: Nothing seems to be flimsy in here, either. The Suisei’s a damn tank. I like it.

After this good start to their day, the heels aimed to capitalize by quickly shifting over to the De Valz dealership, situated close by.

The posse gathered around the French full-size is far from unassuming, five mean faces with not a single “five” between them in their respective height measurements - but the presence of the two-ton hunk of metal overshadows the lot of them.

Maverick: I have to say… This moves the needle. God damn, it’s prettier in person than it is in technicolor.

Phil: For once I agree with you, fossil man; This is just about pretty enough to make my English wife jealous. Bold choice with the hidden headlights on a four-door…

Alan: Uh, Phil, it might be a five-door! If we ever have a number six, we could just chuck that poor sucker in the back and keep on truckin’! Or hell, maybe we could cut Marv in half and I’ll actually have some space in that middle seat!

Marv: Cool it with the kayfabe, you little punk. Let’s roll already.

With the visuals verdict more than unanimous, the heels took the French hunk out for a spin. It goes without saying that a front-wheel peel started the show.

Maverick: You know, this is fun for a big car. Sorta calls back to something like a 70s Eldorado: Smooth, cool, unfuckwithable. I feel in charge here, that’s for sure. That said, it doesn’t sound like an Eldo.

Scott: It’s comfortable, that’s for sure. I got legroom for days. And did you see the sill width on the doors? I’m not convinced this thing isn’t bombproof!

Marv: They did tout all the crumple zones and similar bells and whistles back at the dealership. Almost got nauseous of the explanation, to be frank. More to the point, though, the trim on the glovebox is phony and you can see it.

Maverick: Do you really think anybody’s gonna notice that kinda crap? After looking at the way this car looks?

Marv: You’d be surprised. Car reviewers really latch onto this shit as well: They see brushed aluminum or wood that’s actually plastic, it’s no better than a shark seeing blood. Phoniness doesn’t fly when you’re trying to be all pretentious and luxurious.

Phil: Way I see it, it gets the job done. This is the kinda car you wish you had if you’re not a superstar, and that’s all I gotta say about that!

Dropping off the super-star-car at its dealer, the heels loaded themselves into their two-car convoy and headed for a waffle house to get some grub. And at no later than 11 in the morn, they were already to their next destination: the Atera dealership.

Alan: Again, wow! I oughta be more in touch with this Japanese car business. This looks pretty killer!

Phil: Now, I wouldn’t say it’s got the flair of the French car, but this looks sharp. Low, too - I’m actually surprised at the size of those wheels. They don’t look much taller than the ones on my shitbox - though there is much more rim here.

Maverick: I’m very much a fan of the flying-buttress rear of the thing. The proportions may be a bit too aggressive - even coupe-like in the rear there. No big deck to speak of. Ope, that there’s the lack of trunk space.

The test drive begins in a brisk manner, and there is once again a satisfaction among the rear seat passengers - but there is a looming undertone of confusion brewing.

Maverick: This is weird. I don’t know what exactly I was expecting with this thing, it was not… This.

Scott: Yep… I’m thinking the same thing. It’s a very fast car and handles pretty well, but I can tell from here it’s about as vague as mashed potatoes. On those tires, too? Straight up weird.

Alan: To be honest, while it’s pretty comfy back here, it’s not De Valz comfy or anything. It just doesn’t have the space; and as your designated middle seat guy, I have my concerns.

Maverick: Honestly, I could get used to the driving eventually. Weird as it might be, it’s not hard - and the tires do grip pretty well. Just might not be as much of a straight-up knockout as the other cars appeared - and let’s be honest, we’re all more awake now.

Marv: Jut so all you tire-kickers are aware, this is a very highly-rated car in terms of consumer satisfaction. Doesn’t break, cheap enough to fix, and Ateras don’t tend to rust much at all. I’d keep it in the running.

Alan: Please don’t tell me this one’s Japanese too…

Phil: Are you screwing with me? There was an American flag half the size of a football field in that lobby. I could probably bite this thing and taste me some apple pie.

Maverick: I’ve been looking forward to the Pantheon. They really hyped it up in that review; andit does look gorgeous, even if I don’t really care for the weird C-pillar thing it’s got going on.

Marv: If you were to show this to Eric, he’d be redder than the car with jealousy, that’s for sure. And you gotta give props, it’s not easy to make a car look majestic and still have it be competitive these days.

As the heels finish boarding the yacht-like sedan, the doors close with a solid, dull thud, the last of them coming close to clogging some ears.

Maverick: Is that quality, or what?

On the road, Mav notes that the car does seem very American - not quite as easy to drive, not very taut, not very fast. There are also rumblings from the spacious cavern behind…

Scott: You know, as much as I appreciate the extra space, a Suisei this is not. Suspension’s not as buttery smooth as the rest, and the seats are only leather. Where’s my crushed velour? Where’s my Japanese wool?

Phil: Aw, shut up! You sound as spoiled as year-old milk. This is a cheaper car, it’s got actual utilitarianism to it, and it’s a damn sight better than anything I’ve ever had.

Marv: Either way, the market’s spoken on this car. Its combination of build quality and looks makes it a prestigious and desirable vehicle even without an overly plushy interior. If nothing else, that’s just impressive.

After dropping off the splendid Sentinel, the heels pull into a fast food joint for a late lunch. At the urging of Phil, who’s anxious about his opening match appearance, they don’t stay long - and as dusk draws nearer, they enter the older parts of the city where the prestigious DCMW dealer is located.

Phil: So this is the Standard Six? Doesn’t even seem that bad to me. Room in the back, tailgate, you could almost make a tradesman’s case for it.

Scott: As always, I’m happiest when chauffeured. They even got those coach doors, make you feel like royalty.

Maverick: Yeah, too bad the car doesn’t look that regal itself. We’ve seen two good luxury hatchbacks today, this isn’t how you do it. Got a whole damn grab handle for the tailgate there. And these mirrors… I don’t know which dumpster they came from, but I’m tempted to put them right back.

Alan: And look at that front, too. Whole car’s flowy and then there’s this flat-ass vertical nose.

On the streets, the Six is able to show off its adaptive air suspension, making quick work of the myriad potholes peppered all around.

Maverick: It does drive good, I’m not saying it doesn’t. But even the French car was less lethargic, and that weighed as much as a house.

Scott: Doesn’t it bring back memories? You had that kind of engine in your little Canadian shitbox as well.

Maverick: Yeah, and just like with that car, I have to let it give me an earful so that it actually moves.

Marv: I do really like the way everything’s put together here. Maybe not haute couture, but I don’t figure it’d put a foot wrong.

Alan: I think this is a really good deal overall. Cheaper than most of them. Doesn’t have the presence of most of the others, though.


Because or perhaps in spite of Phil’s constant nagging, the heels ended their test drives with time to spare - and the hothead, after stuffing Scott and Alan into his car, went to the event. This left Maverick and Marv - in Scott’s car, no less - to contemplate the former’s vehicular future.

Marv: You’ve been thinking for a while now. In my experience, if you start by figuring out which car is least fitting, you’ll eventually work your way down to one car.

Maverick: I was just about to say… I don’t know what I want, but I don’t really want the Atera. Weird little combination of quickness and marshmallowness that I don’t really know how to go about.

5th Place: Atera Excelsis Regal - @GetWrekt01 & @HybridTronny

The outlier of a group is usually best or worst - and sadly, the Excelsis is the latter. Discounting the weird disposition of a midsize car with a very full-size wheelbase and compact wheels, the fact that it’s far and away the smallest car of the bunch compromises its space and - to a lesser extent - comfort rating. And the midsize shape doesn’t even help in the economics department, as this car uses the full budget.

Maverick: And right after that, I wanna be done with the Dalluhan car. It’s just not something I can really enjoy, and all the remaining cars have it just about matched as far as sensibility goes.

4th Place: DCMW Mujjahir Standard Six - @moroza

The DCMW is, as expected, a masterclass in optimization - a gentle front-drive cruiser with few weak spots. However, the crucial one-two of the least appealing design left in the running - alongside the second-worst prestige - basically precludes it going any higher. Also to be noted is the lethargic-for-a-fullsize 200 horsepower: each other finalist manages ~50 more.

Marv: …So you’ve ruled out two quirky, but overall very dependable and high-quality products. Can you at least tell me the French rustbucket is going next?

Maverick: I mean, I suppose-- No, wait… No, I don’t think so. I think I want to get rid of the Suisei.

Marv: Oh, God. Scotty’s gonna cuss you out for that one.

3rd Place: Suisei Tempus - @Falling_Comet

The only remaining sedan scores some interesting victories (like ending up higher on my space index than the Pantheon despite 1 less door) and soundly beats the less sporty hatchbacks in the dynamics department. All said and done though, the Tempus is in second place out of the remaining 3 in every metric - and is handily less… handsome than both. A very good effort let down by the fact that the other guys all decided to go very hard for no reason.

Marv: So what we’re looking at here is a contest between a pretty French luxoboat and a pretty American luxoboat… What’s this pattern I’m seeing?

Maverick: I did make it pretty clear I wanted something with flair. Those are both amazing rides that I would buy in a heartbeat, but here’s something I’ve noticed: When we talk about the Pantheon, we talk about it being beautiful. With the De Valz, it’s always a “beautful, but…”

Marv: Are you saying there’s no "but"s for the Pantheon?

Maverick: Apart from “but it’s not a literal king-size bed”? Not really. I’m not giving away anything in picking this beautiful bastard.

Runner-up: De Valz Celeste - @pen15

Between this car and the Pantheon, it’s very, very close. They both look great, and the Celeste does prevail in a lot of 2-star and 3-star domains, like comfort and space - where it’s the best of all the non-instabins - and fuel economy. However, the De Valz fails to step up on reliability, performance, service costs - and that all-important 4-star stat, prestige. This is why it’s second, and the Pantheon…

WINNER: Sentinel Pantheon - @vero94773 and @Kyorg

…Is first. BAH GAWD IT’S THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! In all seriousness, this is a great build visually and statistically, and before the “narrowing-down” of competition to the finals it was the favorite in raw numbers - the De Valz just manages to almost close the gap in head-to-head competition. There are few things I would change here, except for one: This would have been even more rancidly perfect had it been a V8 transverse FWD, like many American luxury cars in this era. And yes, it still would have won if so reconfigured.


Epilogue

The show was in full swing. Aerial Alan, Phenomenal Phil and their new friend, Scott Suave, won the day through typical trickery and deception, and announced their plans to dominate the wrestling territory through the addition of two seriously dangerous new addition - stay tuned and watch the next televised show to find out who they are, yadda yadda. For now, though, the cameras did not follow these despicable evildoers all the way into the parking lot - it’s not 1975, after all.

Scott: So, this is your decision? Well, I guess it’s still leagues better than Phil’s car.

Alan: Damn, it looks absolutely mean in black!

Phil: Know what, old man? You’re alright.


Top Dozen Rankings:

  1. @Kyorg & @vero94773
  2. @pen15
  3. @Falling_Comet
  4. @moroza
  5. @GetWrekt01 & @HybridTronny
  6. @Mad_Cat & @Tsundere-kun
  7. @karhgath
  8. @IncredibleHondaFit
  9. @mart1n2005
  10. @Rise_Comics & @xsneakyxsimx
  11. @spede3
  12. @Portalkat42

Thank you all for taking part - and sorry about the annoying delay!

CSR 161 END


20 Likes

This was a very interesting round, and I must say that I’m happy that I managed to get to the 6th place at least, with Tsundere-Kun

Thanks for the host and congratulations to the winners!

1 Like

You couldn’t have been any more right about it. But what engine/drivetrain did the Pantheon actually use, since it wasn’t built on a transverse FWD platform? I’m guessing it’s RWD, with a large 6- or 8-cylinder engine up front.

Also, I’ve just discovered that some of the top-5 finalists (along with many of the other entries here) were built on a variant of the '87 Boat body set, mainly because of how adaptable its basic shape can be.

And many thanks to you for hosting and concluding this CSR satisfactorily, as well as the top 5 (especially the winner) for providing a batch of cars that were a cut above the rest! May the next few CSRs carry on the tradition of engaging backstories and compelling rulesets.

2 Likes

Well, one thing’s for sure — I’ve got a ways to go before I’m as good at premium cars as some of these others. Big congrats to the winners! Fantastic challenge and writing, too. It mmakes me hope we see more of these folks sometime…

1 Like

Ultimately, the SHO-alike didn’t make it to the finals. But I’m glad that it got this far. Certainly had fun styling this one

2 Likes

welp, didn’t see that one coming lmao. a big shout-out to @Kyorg, he did arguably the more important part of our car and collab-ing with him was a great experience.

also a huge thanks to Texas and Max, this was a great challenge to build something for and i had a lot of fun doing so.

as for the next CSR, Kyorg and i have both decided to take up hosting the next round which we’ve already started working on, expect the new round to be up in a day or two.

5 Likes

Well, as a last minute entry with a carburetor and finding a way to style it 2h before submitting, yeah, I am happy with that 7th place :rofl: Really did not expect that.

Awesome job on hosting and the writing as well, was huge fun.

1 Like

CSR 162 is officially up!

1 Like