Preliminary Reviews – Part 1
Having just sold his Astaroth on Craigslist and realising he’ll need to borrow Tanya’s boring (and gutless) RCM Fox, Scotty boots up his computer once again to kick his car search into overdrive. The price he got on the Astaroth combined with his savings should be enough to buy the new car outright so he can focus on getting things for his future child.
Launching into his online search, he’s glad they recently replaced their dial-up connection with DSL. That should make this a breeze.
The first website Scotty visits is VMC’s and he’s immediately greeted by an image of the Giga 5T.
“$14,032 for this one, 217 hp and 195 lb-ft from a 2.4L turbo I5… not bad. It’s got a 6 speed manual and should hit 62 mph in 6.9 seconds then still average 31 MPG. It’s got the specs and seems to have the looks. I like the sporty front and that shade of blue… Interior looks good as well, typical mid-range setup with alright stereo, now the rear is… Oh boy. The front looked nice and now the ass end is fitting that name, it looks like it’s from a completely different car. I might be able to live with it, I’ll see what the Kustom Kulture forums say about it.”
“VMC Giga 5T, it looks good on paper but it’s not worth it. First of all, the front tires are wider than the rear ones so have fun when you get a new set. It’s got overly complicated sway bars and also a high end diff to help with cornering dynamics. But then the engine just kills any potential it has. The crank and conrods are top end but the pistons are absolute garbage and the redline is way too low just to keep those shitty things from blowing up. This isn’t worth the price, you’ll need time and money to make it into a good car.”
With that scathing review, Scotty closes the VMC page and moves on to the next sporty car.
The next page Scotty opens is Ponni’s, and moving to their new car section he finds the Sphera T4.
“Now here’s a car that looks great from both ends. It’s menacing and sporty, even if a little dated. $14,000 on the dot for this one… 220 hp and 206 lb-ft from a 2.2L turbo I4. Yup, so far it’s better than the VMC. 6-speed manual, 0-62 in 6.2 seconds and still getting a decent 27 MPG, oh and it has AWD. This one could be a solid contender… Interior looks good too, fancy stereo for a subcompact and even fancier seats with alcantara. Well I like it, let’s see what Kustom Kulture says about it…”
“The Ponni Sphera T4 is an odd one. They advertise it as part of the Sphera range that’s been around since 1997, but this one’s basically a whole other model only introduced this year. You won’t be able to swap parts between the two, so don’t expect it to be as cheap to work on as expected. The exhaust really muffles the engine, so if you want to hear anything be ready to swap that out. Overall it’s a solid car with plenty of potential.”
With that information, Scotty decides to save this one for later. Unless something better comes along he’ll be visiting the Ponni dealership to try it out himself.
(Note: Not something to affect the scoring, but having the model year set to 2003 for what should be a trim of a 1997 car really doesn’t make much sense.)
@vicvictory – Ardent Sentinel GT Limited
Next is Ardent’s website. Once the webpage finished loading, Scotty had a look at the Sentinel GT, specifically the Limited trim.
“$14,527 for this one, the most expensive so far. I like the crisp angular design but it seems very serious, more like something I’d get when I turn 40. Might just be the colour. So the performance… it’s a 2.4L turbo I4 good for 182 hp and 212 lb-ft and 27 MPG. It’s got a 5-speed and should hit 62 mph in 7.4 seconds. So the most expensive is the least powerful and slowest. Interior is… nice, the setup is typical, but that stereo looks kickass. I guess that’s what the Limited trim gets me. Let’s see what the folks at Kustom Kulture have to say.”
“The Ardent Sentinel GT Limited is a very predictable car. The main thing to say about it is that it offers a high end stereo. Otherwise, it’s got what you’d expect, nothing more and nothing less. Be careful modding the stock engine, the OEM internals are near their stress point as it is since the redline is long after the power peak.”
Scotty ponders on it for a bit and decides to pass up on the Sentinel. It feels too mature, more like a committee’s idea of a sporty car than one from an enthusiast.
Scotty decides to visit the Bogliq website next, having caught wind that the Moldovan automaker might have something for him. A bit of browsing the bright blue depths brought him to the Tineret Impuls.
“Alright, Moldova still counts as a European import and that name is very much imported as well. Damn, this thing’s only $8954! That’s dirt cheap! Let’s see what it offers… A small 1.7L turbo I4 that only makes 161 hp and 153 lb-ft. It’s a pretty small car though… Yup, 0-62 in 7.1 seconds, not bad, but it should only get 24 MPG if I don’t push it. It’s not bad but I expected more from a small cheap car. Let’s see the inside… Strange, a sedan with only four seats. And I don’t see any speakers in the back either? Looks like a shitty two speaker system. I guess I’ll see what Kustom Kulture has about it before deciding…”
“Bogliq Tineret Impuls, a Moldovan import with a history stranger than its name. Yes, it’s a four seat subcompact sedan. No idea what they were thinking. It’s also got a shitty stereo you’d expect from such a cheap import from a place you wouldn’t know where to find on a map. The engine is really really basic, just an 8-valve SOHC setup and it’s basically at its limit. Don’t expect to get more power without a head swap. This thing also drinks more gas than you’d expect but maintenance is easy and dirt cheap.”
Scotty decides he’ll try it out. It’s clearly outclassed by the similar Sphera, but it’s dirt cheap and could be purchased just from what he got selling his Astaroth.
The next company on Scotty’s list is LLA, and he’s greeted by a blobby little sedan.
“Well… Can’t say I find it particularly modern. It looks about as old as Tanya’s Fox. The back is… Plain boring. $13,784 for it, let’s see if the specs make it worth it. 187 hp and 185 lb-ft from a 2.0L turbo I4, 6-speed, hits 62 mph in 6.5 seconds, and averages 27 MPG. Interior is… Pretty normal. At least it seats 5 and has a typical stereo. Might as well check Kustom Kulture to see if I’m missing anything.”
“The LLA GS200 Turbo is a bit of an oddball. It looks like it’s due for a facelift and has all the equipment you’d expect, so it’s really not anything outstanding. The engine also isn’t running to its full potential, so a bit of tinkering should let you squeeze out more performance without having to fill up with premium. What is strange is the expensive suspension parts. It’s got adaptive dampers and semi active sway bars! It’s got a high performance diff that doesn’t stop one wheel burnouts, but it is fun for cornerning. Be warned if anything goes wrong with this one, it can be fun but the parts that make it fun are expensive.”
Scotty decides that it’s not worth it. Lacklustre styling with complicated maintenance are not what he’s looking for.
@abg7 – Morton Shrike GT
Moving on to the next company brings Scotty to the Morton website where he’s greeted with a bright yellow Shrike GT.
“Not sure what it is about this one, but it looks both outdated and modern at the same time. Even the bright yellow doesn’t do much to make it look sporty. The $13,980 asking price is good, so let’s see what it’s got… 2.0L turbo I4 making 225 hp and 178 lb-ft. Not bad, that’s the sort of thing I’m looking for. This one’s also got a 6 speed, it’ll hit 62 mph in 6.7 seconds and get 27 MPG. Now for the interior photos… Yup, pretty standard fare here, looks to have top end safety features though. It checks all the boxes but feels very soulless… I’ll see what there is about it on Kustom Kulture.”
“Morton Shrike GT, a name that’s cooler than the car. It’s good value for the money but there really isn’t much to say about it. It’s got all the high end safety features making it pretty heavy. Strangely enough, it’s got a diff ripped from a high end sportscar but it’ll still do one wheel burnouts. Really not much to say about this one, what you see is what you get.”
With that piece about it, Scotty figures it’s best to pass it up. It’s another car that somehow feels too mature and the styling leaves him underwhelmed.
@z2bbgr – SBA Gracelet Swift 2.0 Ti LPT
Next on Scotty’s list is the SBA website, as he’s heard of some sporty alphabet soup being sold.
“Alright, smallest car so far, but it looks pretty damn cool and $14,596 is still within my budget. This Gracelet is even smaller than Tanya’s Fox but it’s far from boring. Let’s see what’s under the hood… Wow, 2.0L turbo I4, bigger than I expected for this car, and it makes 193 hp and 169 lb-ft. Then it’s got a 5-speed good for 62 mph in 6.5 seconds and 31 MPG. Not bad at all, makes sense for the price. Inside… wow, fancy seats and everything, with a typical stereo, but it’s another four door with only four seats. Definitely nicer than the usual subcompact, but one less seat is strange. Might as well see what Kustom Kulture says about it.”
“Gracelet Swift 2.0 Ti LPT… only South Bangkok Autoworks would give a car such a complicated name. The engine in this one is good, if a bit over engineered. Should make it easy to give it extra boost though, the internals won’t need to be changed. It’s not the most reliable of the bunch overall and has a most of the underbody covered up, so good luck tinkering under there without having to take a lot apart.”
With a bit of pondering, Scotty decides that he’ll pass up on the SBA. It’ll be quite expensive to maintain.
Briefly checking his email, Scotty saw an ad for a Kilmer Cecilia Sport that seemed to be pointed straight at him.
“This is a sporty looking sedan, looks nice and roomy as well. Let’s see… 1.9L twin turbo H4 making 219 hp and 175 lb-ft, AWD with a 6 speed and it should hit 62 mph in 7.1 seconds and get 24 MPG. I’ve never driven a car with a boxer before, sounds like it could be interesting. Only $13,910, I wonder… Right, interior looks pretty high end but then it’s got a really basic stereo. Could be an easy upgrade, let’s see what Kustom Kulture has about it.”
“Kilmer Cecilia Sport, plenty to say about this car but let’s get to the point. The boxer 4 engine is pretty high strung with plenty of turbo lag, but overall it’s pretty basic in design with some extra potential without needing to run higher grade fuel. It’ll be cheap to work on, but it’s got a lot of underbody cladding to make it a pain in the ass. Definitely get rid of that piece of junk stereo it comes with.”
With the tough decision of an interesting car having a few shortcomings, Scotty decides he’ll have to pass up on it. While he likes to tinker, the point of getting a factory tuner was to not have to modify it to get the car he wants.
@yangx2 – Huangdou Sprite Sport
Following that hard decision, Scotty types in the address for Huangdou’s website to be greeted by the Sprite Sport.
“This one’s another subcompact hatch, but it seems bigger than the Gracelet and it’s even cheaper, at $14,039! It looks really modern and sporty, exactly what I want from a factory custom. The back is… Modern like the front and it also looks good. Let’s see what it has for an engine… Oh, another twin turbo H4, but this one’s a 1.8L good for 194 hp and 152 lb-ft. Let’s see, 6 speed, 0-62 in 6.8 seconds, and 29 MPG. All looks good here, now the interior… Oh, nice high end look, it actually has 5 seats, and the stereo looks pretty normal. Let me just check Kustom Kulture before making a decision.”
“Huangdou Sprite Sport, proof that not everything made in China is junk. The engine is well designed and solid, and while it does have the expected twin turbo late spooling, it’s kept to a reasonable level. The Sprite is actually well built for sporting potential, using reasonable parts though the diff is a little excessive and won’t lock the wheels but it still adds a little something. It might be a little more expensive to work on than others due to the parts it uses but it’s not too bad and pretty easy to work on but Godspeed with the spark plugs. No idea who thought a transaxle boxer was a good idea.”
Taking it to a shop for the spark plugs wouldn’t be too hard, so Scotty decides that he’ll be test driving this one. Let’s see what’s up next.
The next car happened to be the Pantheon XR-Red, surrounded by a red and black webpage.
“Alright, this one looks pretty over the top and I’ve never seen roof rails on a sedan before. They don’t look very useful. It’s pretty cohesive but some of the red accents are just plain tacky. It costs… $14,980, that’s pretty much at my budget limit, so let’s see what it has to offer. Huh, another I5, this one’s a 2.5L turbo making 201 hp and 229 lb-ft. It’s another AWD with 6 speed, should get up to 62 in 7 seconds and get 28 MPG. Let’s see what’s inside next… Oh, another one of these 4 seat sedans, what is up with those? The seats do look high end though, and the stereo looks pretty normal. I’m sure Kustom Kulture has something on this one…”
“The Pantheon XR-Red is a car that will have you seeing red. This this is a rust hazard like you wouldn’t believe. Sure some of the bodywork is aluminium, but the entire chassis is untreated steel that already shows signs of corrosion after a few months of the odd pebble hitting it. The engine’s a heavy entirely cast unit with shitty eco pistons that are just about at their limit, so be careful with those, and the direct injection setup is complicated at best. This is probably one of the cheaper cars out there to have it. Definitely don’t get this one if you live anywhere that gets snow.”
With that scathing review, Scotty closes the page. That’s just not worth it.
@yurimac – Lagau wXpress
Moving on, Scotty navigates to the Lagau website to be greeted by the wXpress.
“Strange name for a car but it sounds like something cool. Let’s see… What the fuck is that paint. Some kind of pearl matte paint or something? It looks like velvet. I definitely wouldn’t get that paint. So the front looks pretty weird, not sure if I like it, now for the rear… Oh god that’s ugly. Wait, this thing’s not even out yet. Not worth waiting for it.
(Note: trim engineering time too high, and oh god my eyes.)
@navara – Stella Spark R
Taking a few minutes to find Stella’s website amongst the inevitable porn of the same name, Scotty navigates to the page for the Spark R.
“Back to another subcompact, and a lower price of $14,515. This is a really modern and simple design but it looks pretty good. So it’s a small car and under the hood… Ah, a 2.0L turbo I4 that makes a solid 224 hp and 197 lb-ft. Huh, didn’t expect AWD from this, and the 6 speed has it his 62 mph in 6.2 seconds and get 24 MPG. Sounds pretty sporty but it drinks more gas than I’d expect from a subcompact. Wait, another 4 seat sedan? What is with these, shouldn’t all 4 doors get 5 seats? Looks pretty comfy anyways, I see some leather, and it’s got a pretty normal stereo system. Time to see what Kustom Kulture has on it.”
“The Stella Spark R is an interesting little car that’s generally overengineered. The engine has potential for tinkering because of it, but beware before touching the exhaust system, it’s very high end. The brakes are way overdone and stupid expensive, while the transmission and the fancy diff are of pretty low quality and prone to issues. Maintenance costs add up fast so consider that in budgeting for it.”
With overengineering and high maintenance costs being two things Scotty wants to avoid, he types in the address for a different company.
@jaimz – Karthoolu Insaniam
Karthoolu, an oddly named company showcasing the Insaniam on their website’s main page.
“Wow, this thing looks wild! Usually the subcompacts are tamer, but I’ve never seen anything that looks like this before… I don’t think I like it much at all. The rear is a little more normal but $14,578 is too much for something that looks like this”
Scotty quickly closes the page and opens a new window for the next one.
(Note: This looks like it’s from 2013, not 2003. Nobody likes anachronisms. Scotty also doesn’t like sky high service costs.)
Next up is the Flamers Motor Company’s Voluptas, which is what came up first on their website.
“Ugh, an SUV? I’m not in my 30s yet, I still want some fun. Let’s see what else they have… Nope… Nope… Cool, but too small… Way too expensive… Nope… Yeah, they don’t have any sporty cars that fit what I want and I definitely don’t want an SUV. How can a company not have any sport compacts or subcompacts?”
Quickly losing hope, Scotty closes this page as well and looks back to his list. Typing in another address, he hopes the next car is more to his tastes.
@mikonp7 – Deer and Hunt Goonie Sport
The next address was for Deer and Hunt, where Scotty wants to have a look at the Goonie Sport.
“Alright, a proper domestic subcompact this time, and it’s a sporty looking little thing. I definitely like the front, it looks badass, now the rear… Looks pretty good too but wow that’s some big badges. People will definitely know what I’m driving. It has… Holy hell, a 2.9L V6 in a subcompact!? Wait a second… It only makes 207 hp and 191 lb-ft. Oh, this is the first car without any turbos. With that 5 speed it should hit 62 mph in 7 seconds even and get 23 MPG. Pretty low economy but it is a V6. Inside… Wow, high end interior with even a high end stereo. How much is this again? Oh, only $13,991. Time to have a look at Kustom Kulture.”
“DaH Goonie Sport, now here’s an oddball of a car. No idea who thought sticking a 2.9L V6 in a subcompact was a good idea, but here it is. It’s only an SOHC design but then has high end direct injection, so it seems to be an update on an engine they had laying around. I really don’t know much about the brand beyond this car. It’s got eco pistons, so be careful if you want to boost it but they’re not being pushed to their limits. Overall the car is pretty simple and easy to work on, but the direct injection overly complicates the engine and makes servicing expensive. The interior’s somehow both not too good quality and fancy, so try not to break anything.”
With the mention of expensive servicing Scotty sees that this is not the car for him, no matter how interesting it is. Time to look at something else.
Returning to his computer, Scotty makes his way to the FAAL website and then to the page on the Mesaia GT he’s heard about.
“Alright, this one’s a nice looking compact hatchback… I remember the FAAL Tetra Evo 4 that was used in the first A&A. Right, let’s see what this is about. It’s very modern and edgy, I like that, and $12,764 is a bargain price. Let’s see now… Another 2.0L turbo I4, it makes 226 hp and 196 lb-ft, that should be plenty, and it’s another with a 6 speed. 0-62 takes 6.2 seconds and it gets 27 MPG. Stats look good, interior looks… Pretty standard, but that’s a cheap 2 speaker stereo system I see. Let’s see if there’s anything about this one on Kustom Kulture.”
“The FAAL Mesaia GTI is a car that tries to go after fans of The Agile and the Angry, and it’s pretty obvious just from that factory body kit. Unfortunately the engine isn’t the most reliable and is prone to various issues, and then good luck even changing the oil with all that cladding under the car. Sure it helps the aero but it’s a PITA to work on. It’s also got overly complicated dampers and sway bars are cost an arm and a leg, and it’s the same thing with the front brakes. It’s a hoot to drive, don’t get me wrong, but the upkeep isn’t worth it if your budget’s tight. Oh, and make sure to replace that radio.”
And there’s another Scotty passes up on from being overly complicated and expensive to service.
@ezdmn – Mondo E5 Sport
Mondo is next at facing Scotty’s judgement, with the E5 Sport proudly displayed on their main page.
“This one looks very good. It’s another subcompact but I like the aggressive look, and the back… Wow, it works perfectly with the front. It’s only $13,895, too, that’s great. Let’s see what the interior offers… Another 4 seat sedan? What is with these? It’s also got the high end looking seats I’ve seen in many cars so far, but the stereo is a pretty normal one. Right, forgot about the specs for a second there… Huh, 2.0L turbo I5 and it makes 242 hp and 195 lb-ft. It’s another AWD car with a 6 speed and good for 62 mph in 5.9 seconds, damn, and it still manages to get 30 MPG. Time to see what the people at Kustom Kulture think about it.”
“Mondo E5 Sport, a well sorted car if you don’t live in the snowbelt. If you do, it’s got an untreated steel chassis that’ll probably start rusting within a couple of years. The engine’s very well done but uses expensive and complicated direct injection, so it’s a hassle (and hit to the wallet) to work on. Oh, set some money aside for some nice alloy rims, it comes with steelies from the factory. Other than the direct injection setup, it’s a breeze to work on and parts are pretty easy to get.”
Another rust hazard with high service costs, Scotty shakes his head in disappointment and moves on to the next car.
Navigating the TSR website, Scotty finds the page for the Kazuma TS he’s parked next to once before.
“Now this one’s a nice looking car that caught my eye the other week. I’m not usually into wagons but this one looks very sleek and sporty. At $14,995 I hope it’s as good as it looks, I can just barely afford it. No need to check the photos, I’ve already admired, but I did wonder about the engine… 2.5L turbo I4 making… Holy shit, 300 hp and 257 lb-ft! That’s wild. It’s got a 5 speed and also hits 62 mph in 5.9 seconds, then it still gets a decent 26 MPG. The interior… Looks pretty normal… Oh, the one I saw had an aftermarket head unit, this is a cheap 2 speaker setup. I guess that’s why it’s within my budget. Let’s see what Kustom Kulture has on it, I might pass up a good stereo if the rest of the car kicks ass.
“The TSR Kazuma TS is a true sports wagon and probably the most powerful of its kind. It’s built quite well but the engineers gave it a shitty stereo to keep the price low, but that’s an easy fix. Unfortunately, they very much overengineered the brakes, especially with front calipers that look to be off a supercar, so that’s expensive to keep in good shape. The engine is well built but the direct injection system is complicated and expensive, and the exhaust is damn loud for a factory unit.”
Scotty finds the prospect of servicing it too daunting and the excessively loud exhaust just won’t do with a baby sleeping in the back. He closes the page.
(Note: Loudness exceeded the limit.)
As the afternoon was winding down, Scotty moved on to the JHW website and browsed their new car section until he came across the Merquri 1.9 TSR.
“This looks like an interesting little car, it’s not an aggressive design but I looks both happy and sporty. I can’t believe I’m liking a cute car. Let’s see the back… Same mix of cutesy and sporty as the front, that works. The $14,872 asking price fits in the budget, so now let’s see what’s powering it… 1.9L I4 making 191 hp and 181 lb-ft, that sound be alright for this small car. It’s another one with a 6 speed and it’s said to hit 62 mph in 6.9 seconds and get 31 MPG, that’s not bad at all. Interior looks pretty normal to me with a decent stereo. Alright, time to have a look at Kustom Kulture posts on this thing.”
“The JHW Merquri 1.9 TSR shows that the Brits still have it for making affordable sporty cars. Oddly enough, the aluminium chassis is covered in corrosion resistant steel panels, so it’s not as light as you’d expect it to be. It’s overall well designed, it even has one of those sporty cornering diffs (it will still do one wheel burnouts) but the electric power steering feels pretty vague. The engine is well built, with all forged components, so it’s got plenty of upgrade potential on stock internals. You really get a decent car for the price.”
With that praise, Scotty adds this one to his still very short list of cars he wants to test drive. On that high note, he decides it’s a good time to break for lunch.
