Round 1 (part 1)fight
Dr. Wurstmacht(W) has arranged a meeting with Ulrich Panzerfaust(P ) the lead salesman of CNC Autos in Switzerland. CNC is known as a ambitious car company, but to finance its car engineering it has set up a car dealership in Switzerland.
As a large dealership CNC Autos has all the cars that were advertised to Dr. Wurstmacht by different companies. Ulrich Panzerfaust, the car lot’s head dealer is walking the good doctor around the lot and showing him all the cars that meet his standards.
Corsica Yosemite
by @CorsicaUnknown
P: This one is the first one we have to offer. Fine looking SUV if I might add.
W: Yes, it’s fine looking indeed. What does it offer?
P: It has a very good fuel economy and the engine fits well to the mountain roads
W: It seems nice, sure. And the fuel efficiency is really good for a car of this size too. However I’ve heard that these aren’t the best cars to drive.
P: Well, it is good, but not the best. Do you want a test drive?
W: I’ll pass, thanks.
Rejected. The car is a jack of all trades but a master of none. Low offroad and mediocre drivability lets it down. It looks amazing, props for that.
FM HiWay 2000p MPV
by @Jaimz
P: Ah, the first minivan we’ve come across. This is a nice car, however it will be no match for our cars when they come out!
W: When are they coming out?
P: Uhh… Our current estimation is 50 years. Well back to this car. What do you think?
W: Well it looks a bit bland, but it isn’t ugly per se. It doesn’t look like the car I’m looking for.
P: Did I tell you about the engine? It makes a nice amount of torque, 362 Nm even in lower revs.
W: Sounds nice, but I’m not too much into this one. Shall we go to the next one?
Rejected. Pretty much the same deal as the previous one. This one is decent in almost every category, but it doesn’t shine in a single one of them. It has good fuel eco, but average drivability and low offroad. The engine is good, however.
LLA Sceptor WS
by @LinkLuke
P: Ooh, shiny!
W: A wagon? First decent one I’ve seen today.
P: Yes, this is the first premium-class wagon we’ve come across today. Look at the lights, they’re… hypnotizing… and… shiny… ooohhhh…
W: Um. Is there a doctor here? …oh wait. WAKE UP! slaps Panzerfaust across the face
P: Oh, sorry. Happens every time. About the car. It’s not… as good to drive as some of our other cars, but it’s surprisingly good offroad!
W: Hm… The drivability should be higher and the fuel eco isn’t too good either. I’ll pass.
Rejected The drivability lets this one down, just barely passing the minimum. Going off-road is one of its strong points, but everything else falls to “average.” It looks pretty good though, especially from the front. The rear’s a bit bland, but it works too.
Shromet Orleans
by @DoctorNarfy
W: Now this is what I call a good-looking SUV!
P: Yes, it is very pretty and it’s engine would suit your needs brilliantly.
W: However, I’ve understood that these aren’t too good to drive.
P: That is true, but it has an amazing ride. It might be the most comfortable car in our selection.
W: Tempting. However I think that drivability is the deciding factor for me. Next?
Rejected While good-looking, it has the lowest drivability of the bunch. Its fuel efficiency is decent, on the better side, while mid-pack regarding the offroad score. The engine is very nice and has a lot of torque down low.
Daito Elisa
by @MasterDoggo
P: This one is a real looker! And this one would excel at being an ambulance.
W: Huh, must be the best-looking van I’ve ever seen. My patients probably wouldn’t want to leave this one.
P: It is a blast to drive, too. It’s pretty comfortable, too.
W: It seems quite thirsty. It doesn’t seem much like an off roader though.
P: Yes, but the engine is very competent. I know you’d like it.
W: Sorry, but it’s just too thirsty and it’d probably get stuck at some point. I’ll pass.
Rejected. Very appealing design, but the poor fuel economy and low off road score let it down. Decent drivability.
Anhultz Dione Tour
by @Elizipeazie
P: I think this car fell down from the skies, it looks like an angel!
W: Haha, no.
P: What, you don’t like it? Yeah, this one divides people’s opinions. It’s quirky, but it’s nice.
W: Is it good?
P: It has excellent fuel economy and the engine is once again very torque-y, as you like.
W: Anything else, or is it mediocre otherwise?
P: Well… yeah.
W: Moving on then.
Rejected We want to like it, but we just… can’t. Something’s off. It’s unique, we can give it that. While offering excellent fuel economy, it has mediocre drivability and offroad. This was a really good candidate for round 2, but didn’t quite make it.
Quost H55 2.8 alltra
by @Oldenways
W: Another SUV, another chance.
P: Just like the first SUV this one is also quite pretty and is also really good to drive.
W: I think it’s somewhat bland. Is there anything else of note?
P: It has a great engine, once again making a lot of power down low. It’s also pretty good offroad.
W: It’s pretty thirsty though. I think we still can find better ones. On to the next!
Rejected This one is really good. The design is pretty boring, but coherent. The fuel economy isn’t too good, but everything else was good. However there just were better and more interesting cars.
Giuseppe GX250t
by @undercoverhardwarema
W: Please don’t tell me that this is one of them. I beg you.
P: Well… …Actually… …Noooo… it isn’t.
W: Why are showing it to me then?
P: I’m sorry.
Rejected. Reminds us of pickle Rick, the worst of all memes. Now as a car, it isn’t too bad honestly. It has slightly bad fuel economy, decent offroad score and mediocre drivability. The front end is salvageable with fine-tuning the proportions, but the rear end should be redesigned.
AEKI Godsvagn
by @conan
W: Where is the car? Why are there only cardboard boxes on this lot?
P: Well, you see this one is quite a bit cheaper because you have to assemble it by yourself.
W: What?!
P: Hands over instructions
W: Oh, fuck me.
Forty hours of furious assembling later…
W: Phew, finally. Are you going to tell me something about the car now?
P: I guess you’ve earned it. For a van it has very good fuel eco.
W: And?
P: Eh, that’s it really.
W: REALLY?
P: Yeah, really. Not any better than what we’ve seen so far.
W: What are you going to do with this assembled van now then?
P: Unassemble it, so the next customer can enjoy it too.
W: jaw hits the floor
Rejected Mediocre at most things. Low offroad score, but really low fuel consumption. Decent looking design.
Huangdou Starlight
by @yangx2
P: Here we have a Chinese minivan, it’s a real looker, isn’t it?
W: Notices fuel economy: “OwO what’s this”
P: Yeah, the fuel economy shines on this like a diamond. It’s also an absolute dream to drive.
W: This. I want to try it, even if it looks like it isn’t the best offroad.
P: Well then, we shall go to a test drive.
accepted Sporting the best drivability and fuel economy of the entire field, this car has a real chance of winning. The design is really solid too. It’s weak points are the anemic engine and really low offroad score. However, the other points are too strong to pass this up.
Now we is go to slep and we step on snek.
Möre cärs cöming söön. This consists of about 35% of the field. Not sure if we’re going to do this in 2 or 3 parts yet, time will tell.
Best wishes, me and me (Detsi)
@Elizipeazie Im gonna tag you here because the formatting doesn’t like me
Edit: why is this so flipping hard