I’ll get right to adapting something, then. Beware the Highway Hooligans!
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As much as I like it I definitely shouldn’t enter. I never have enough ideas to write the backstory.
But I can provide the car, if anyone wants to enter but doesn’t really feel like making one (or using some already made).
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Southend Or Bust will be back. James, Martin and Seb are always down for a crap car challenge.
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Now this is a great sequel to the Kinda Grand Tour… I just have to decide if I really want to reuse my entry for that challenge in this latest road trip!
Well, looks like Team Outriders and Missy will be making a return.
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Team Teal Terror
A minor tragedy struck Team Greasy Lightning a month after they returned home from the Kinda Grand Tour. Their beloved Suzume-powered Ardent Chancellor was stolen and wrecked. As the thieves plowed head-first into a tree, neither the car nor the motor were salvageable. The teammates lamented the loss with an informal (and private) wake at Fuzz’s apartment. One bottle of vodka later, they hatched the plan to replace their shattered steed of steel.
Behold, the 1992 Ardent Smoke known as the “Teal Terror”. The third generation Smoke, designed at the end of the malaise era, truly represented the worst of a dark era for Ardent. What was once a proud GT model had been reduced to a small, cheap coupe that could be cranked out for the GenX masses just starting to hit the workforce.
This particular “beauty” is a base model. No air bags. Automatic seatbelts. Manual windows, locks, steering, and transmission. 40 watt AM/FM tape deck. No air conditioning. All powered by the budget-model Cygnus-S 1.9L inline 4, and wrapped in hideous light teal paint.
Of course, with life being full of twists and turns, the original team members were not to be reunited under the new banner. Rick was assigned to a major new project at his company, and was unable to get time off for the run. Thus, the members of Team Teal Terror are:
Jen: Rick’s wife, personal trainer, crossfit instructor, and coffee freak.
Fuzz: Jen’s “little” brother Ted, a rookie on the local police force.
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A jalopy challenge I like the looks of this.
Can you simulate a stripped interior with the removal of safety equipment etc?
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I love how you handled the tires limitations. Manual adjustment by the judge is a great idea
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Count on a new team entering this…prepare for Spanish fiesta!
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Just simulate it through RP. Build the car how you would have for its original build date. The only thing I adjust later is the tires.
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“So what do you say, are you taking it?” - Said a man, dressed in suit, with a smile full of yellow teeth on his face. The wrinkles on his face revealed that he was entering a rather advance age.
In the driver’s seat, a young woman seated, her black hair resting on her back, her hands moving the steering wheel as her dark eyes processed the information from the signs at the sides of the road. “Well…I’m giving you 420 euros for this junker and you better be grateful I’m taking it from your dealership.” - She replied. Her voice sounded adult, yet somewhat juvenile.
“Yeah, you’re crazy if you believe you’re taking this from me for only 420 euros.” - Said the man, in a more serious voice tone. The smile had suddenly dissappeared from his face, his wrinkles now expressing anger. “I’m pretty sure someone else will be more than willing to pay the 800 euros I’m asking.”
The woman laughed. “C’mon, all you guys have been selling lately are crossovers and low mileage hatchbacks. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather make up space for another Baltazar Kilimanjaro that’ll sell like fresh bread? You don’t have any guarantee that you’ll be selling this thing anytime soon.”
An hour or so later, the Conte Ataque arrives at an used car dealership. Both occupants get out of the car.
“Alright, 450 euros and it’s yours”. - Said the salesman, desperate to sell the car.
“Make that 400.” - Replied the woman, once again.
“420 and it’s yours…” - Said the man, more than tired of this argument.
“Deal!”.
The woman took the keys and gave the man the money in eight nice 50€ tickets and a 20€ one. She drove it through the city until she arrived at a workshop, which she entered. A dark short haired young man, fixing his also dark eyes on the woman, came out from under a car, cleaning his hands on a towel.
“How much for the car?” - Said the man, with an adult yet also juvenile voice. “Did you get it for 450 euros as we agreed?”
“For only 420!” - She replied, with a smile on her face.
“Great. Remember, you do the driving, I do the fixing. You’re heaps faster than me, that’s for sure.” - He replied. “What should we tell mom?”
“We’re just on a holiday break from our workplaces. The more complicated the lie, the easier to detect.” - Said the woman.
Meet the team!
Ana Gutiérrez: 21, energetic and competitive, loves driving spiritedly and fast. The female twin sister, she works as a delivery driver for a post service company and she’ll do the driving, as long as she is not dangerously tired.
Alejandro Gutiérrez: 21, relaxed, a strategist. The male twin brother, works as a mechanic, so he’ll do the maintainment as long as he doesn’t have to drive. He also tuned the engine to squeeze 100hp out of it.
Aggresiveness Factor: 4
Meet the car!
A 1982 Contendiente Ataque 1.5 Sports Package. Including the standard 4 speed manual, semi independent torsion beam rear suspension, and the 1.5L I4, tuned to make around 100hp, which both thought would be the ideal balance between power and economy.
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A bit of a teaser for what I’ll use.
1988 Bon-chon Masterpiece. Also known in South Korea as the Bon-Chon Exempla. Very affectionately nicknamed by the consumer market as the Masterpiece of shit.
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…
4 x 5 = 200
200 + 20 = 220
SCAMMERS
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I JUST REALIZED
Let me fix it 
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Team Rice Box
“You paid $400 to a 19 year old kid to buy his Chinese Shitbox?”
“Yes, and it’s name is Banana.”
“You named the car, too? Oh christ.”
Lyra was less than pleased with Charlotte’s purchase. A rather… “tastefully” moddified 1993 PRJ M45, in K trim.
“You couldn’t have found something more, I dunno, Cool?” Lyra was very, very annoyed at this point. The M45 was a barely known car in the States, despite over 300,000 being sold.
“Hey, I think Banana is cool. He should be easy to fix if parts fail, too.” Charlotte, having bought the car, has a rather fond attachment to the M45.
“What ever, at least this’ll make for interesting footage.”
“Fuck yeah!”
The Car, properly
A Modified 1993 PRJ M45, in the K trim spec. The base model. This one has the PRJ SC1.4 SE, a rather woeful 74hp N/A inline 4. This one has recived some… custom modifications, including “A BIG WANG” (Original Owner’s words, not ours), custom yellow paint, and a single black stripe that doesn’t connect on the roof with matching front lip. Charlotte has affectionately named the car Banana.
The Team, properly
Lyra Sunshard; A YouTube and Instagram Celebrity in the Gaming world as ShardGaming, Lyra is using this to promote herself, and make some nice content, too. She is currently 20, and will be driving mostly.
Charlotte Mathews; Lyra’s Childhood friend, and fellow Instagram Celebrity. She Runs a YouTube channel named Girl+Car, where she vlogs car builds, and fixes. She’s also 20, and will be mostly recording what happens, and fixing Banana.
The Three of them, Lyra, Charlotte, and Banana, are known as TEAM RICE BOX!
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Highway Hooligans
The Team:
Cody Acorne (34) - Brother of Marcus Acorne. Enjoys street racing, even though his brother tried to keep him out of the racing scene. He found out about the Deathtrap Tour from his best friend, Jake Storm, and intends to win by any means necessary. Which is precisely why he’s put his brother in the hot-seat.
Marcus Acorne (46) - Notorious Chicago street-racer. Has seen some things in his time, and helped acquire their new car. He favors Dynamite cars because they’re usually fairly cheap and have some performance potential.
Jake Storm (30) - Son of Amy Storm. Found out about the Deathtrap Tour because his mother pointed it out and mentioned it might be fun. Struggles to drive stick, but of the four, he’s the only one who understands DOHC at all. A self-taught computer genius, he’s responsible for reprogramming the car’s ECU.
Trevor Wright (45) - The Junk Man. Helped Marcus, Jake, and Cody find an engine for the car. He’s great at finding things that will work, or making things work that really shouldn’t function. He’s also the only decent cook of the four of them, and can hold his own with the other three and their pranks. As the team’s “Mad Scientist,” he’s the one responsible for coming up with ways to ruin everyone else’s day.
The Car:
Hailing all the way from the year 2000, this is a Dynamite E5 Family-Hatch.
This faithful little family car used to have a 3 liter V6 under the hood, powering the rear wheels through a 5 speed automatic. The previous owner removed the automatic, installed a 6 speed manual and the mother of all turbocharger kits to make a race-car out of it. In a street race against Marcus, the engine was damaged beyond repair. A few months later, Marcus offered to buy the car for $200, and the guy agreed, as it was better value than he’d get from the junkyard.
Marcus knew it wasn’t a total loss. Sure, he’d have to get Trevor to help him rip apart the block and try to make something useful out of the car, but otherwise, it had promise. He got a phone call from his brother, Cody, who mentioned a $500 ‘clunker race,’ and realized this was the destiny for this little 5 door midsize.
Cody rounded up a team, and they looked over the car. Midsize, sliding rear doors, a hatchback/liftback style trunk, five seats, and a CD player. Plus, the car only had somewhere around 114k miles on the clock, so it was a decent bargain. Sure, the engine doesn’t work, but… They had a plan.
A few days later, and Trevor brought in the perfect engine donor, a 2005 Dynamite T-1600 Double Crew pickup truck, junked because of a roll-over accident. What they wanted was the naturally-aspirated DOHC I4 out of it, all 5.4 liters of it. As the truck only had 74,254.3 miles on it, and construction company stickers on the doors, they figured the engine was good enough.
Jake got involved in ‘improving the performance threshold’ with a FleaBay Turbo and Intercooler package, and Trevor knocked together an exhaust manifold and turbo downpipe.
When questions got asked about whether a truck motor and passenger sedan were a good combination, Jake casually mentioned, “Mom said some team did that last time, some old cop car with the heart of a truck. We’ve got the same strategy going.”
A quick re-spray with lime green at Marcus’ request, and fitting of the neon underglow lights, bright green fog-lamps, xenon headlights, and a light-control-module finished up the lighting and visual effects package, and a mid-80’s turbo badge was glued onto the hatch to finalize the car’s distinctive design.
Total costs? $200 worth of blown-up, clapped-out family sedan turned street racer, plus $250 on a trashed truck for an engine. $450 all up.
Five seats, Four people. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, the list of current problems is a bit lengthy, but not entirely unexpected from a car resurrected from the junkyard.
-
Driveshaft has excessive play in it.
Marcus’ note: The previous owner was a fuckin’ idiot, didn’t understand that the E5’s automatic and stick use different driveshafts. Not a huge difference, it will work, but it’s risky. And we can’t find an E5 in stick to swipe the driveshaft. -
Gas struts in the hatch are blown.
Cody’s note: We’ll just have to use a prop-stick when we need something out of the back. Or fold the seats and grab it from there. -
Power sliding rear doors don’t power slide anymore.
Jake’s note: There’s some sort of code in the Body Control Module about “Door Motor Overcurrent Safety” that comes up when the motors try to open the doors. For now, we’ll just unplug the door motors and open them the hard way. Probably needs some grease in the rails to lube things up.
Marcus’ note: Yeah, some grease fixed it. Scratch this one off the list. -
Air Conditioning Barely Works.
Trevor’s note: It’s Russian, you morons. Of course the A/C doesn’t work that well. The heater works flawlessly, though. But, yeah, there could be something wrong with the A/C compressor. -
Power Locking doesn’t function.
Cody’s note: Not surprising. Thankfully, there’s a keyhole for every door, and everyone has a key. That’s how you solve a problem! -
What the Hell is that Smell!?
Marcus’ note: Smells like something died in here. Either that, or… God damn you, Trevor! Don’t test the Stinkers in the car!
Trevor’s note: Yeah, my bad. At least we know that when we gift these ‘air fresheners’ to some of the other teams, they’ll “freshen” the air with the smell of “Hot Summer Porta-Potty.” We’ll just have to live with it for a few miles. -
Hard to reach the Coil Packs
Jake’s note: Yeah, that 5.4 liter engine’s big. And the coil packs are on the back of the block. Which means they’re up against the firewall, which makes them really difficult to work on. On the plus side, though, that big I4 sounds almost like a V8 when idling. Don’t want to know what Dynamite was thinking when they created it, though. Why does an engine need to be that big?
Marcus’ note: Yeah, it’s a common thing with their cars. They seem to have no sense of direction. It’s why they put a 4.1 liter paint-shaker inline 3 in the XR-3 I used to race. Big engine, lots of torque for an I3, but a bloody gutless wonder without a turbo. And if you turbo the I3, it blows up.
Trevor’s note: Yeah, well, they based this 5.4 on a diesel of some sort, just kept the block, gave it a new head, pistons, crank, conrods… It’s a tough little engine.
Cody’s note: There’s nothing little about it! It’s bigger than some modern V8’s!
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Prologue
(Outside a retirement bungalow named Harcourt-Entwhistle Towers)
Gran (G) and Mopey (M) are watching Spanners (S) walk around tutting and occasionally kicking a tyre.
S: Well it’s seen better days.
G: Haven’t we all dear. What do you think George?
M: (looking up from his mobile phone) Huh?
G: What do you think of the van?
M: Erm….it’s brown….and it’s a van. (goes back to looking at his phone)
G: sigh David, will it do?
S: sharp intake of breath through clenched teeth Well it’s got a decent engine…bodywork needs a bit of a touch up and it needs a HUGE plate welding in the back to stop everything falling out….but it should do you. It’ll be £175 for the work. But if something goes wrong then you’ll need to find a mechanic because I doubt you 2 could find the bonnet release….let alone an EGR valve.
G: A what dear?
S: See, now that’s what I mean…….
G: But you’re coming with us dear….YOU are our mechanic!
M: sniggering
S: But….but….but….I can’t. I have commitments here.
G: Very well, can you ring your grandmother and tell her the news….she was so excited about you joining us.
S: lets out a resigned sigh and mumbles in that case I can do the work for £50.
The Team
Elizabeth Harcourt-Entwhistle (widowed) – “Gran”
Age – Never ask a lady her age dear
Likes – Family, classical music and old things
Driving experience – over 60 years
George Harcourt-Entwhistle IV – “Mopey”
Age - 17
Likes – Staring at his mobile phone, girls and moping
Driving experience – Pontins Go-kart champion 3 summers in a row (2012-2014), proper cars – 3 weeks
Dave something-or-other – “Spanners”
Age – 28
Driving experience – Anything the army put him into/on to as well as a lot of things he shouldn’t have been anywhere near!
Likes - Mechanical things, lots of hot tea, bodging stuff to make it work again.
The Vehicle
1990 FOA Vango Std – Price £400 (and a bag of Gran’s muffins)
In the back of the van
Inflatable mattress (single) for sleeping on. Old wardrobe, on its side, that acts as storage for food, tools and spare parts.
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MOTHER OF ALL I4S 
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Had to be done after Marcus’ XR-3 in the Great Automation Run left with the Mother of All I3’s. But this one has the big four, and a turbo.
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tents fingers and cackles evilly
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