Go West Deathtrap Tour [FINISHED]

Community Challenges & Competitions
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TEAM OUTRIDERS
Prologue:

Day -7:

Zach: I can’t wait for the week off school. We are gonna have a great time.

Mia: We need to talk.

Zach: About what?

Mia: About me dumping you.

Zach: What? Why?

Mia: I just can’t stand all the lying and cheating on each other.

Zach: But baby, I’ve never cheated on you.

Mia: I know… that’s what makes this hard.

Meanwhile…

Luigi: I would like to propose a toast. To Marc Levinstein: The only man here who can suck a promotion out of a penis!

Crowd: Hear hear!

Marc: Thank you for that rather expected toast.

Cop: Hey Chief, you want me to shoot him?

Luigi: You shoot me in a dream you better wake up and apologize!

Cop: Ha ha ha!

Marc: Nah, I’ll let it slide. It is a party after all.

Luigi: That’s right, I’m just expressing my First Amendment right. Which means I can say any damn thing I want, and there’s nothing your kosher pig chief can do about it!

Marc: I changed my mind, shoot this piece of shit!

(The cop shapes his hand like a gun and points it at Luigi making a gunshot motion)

Blake: Hey, that’s imaginary police brutality!

Cop: You want some too?

Blake: Never mind.

Luigi: In all seriousness, Congratulations. I couldn’t think of a better candidate to be chief of police.

Marc: Thank you. Anyway, let’s party on. Except you Grainger!

Grainger: Why not?

Marc: Uh, you have a shift starting in three hours.

Grainger: So I can’t enjoy myself at your promotion party?

Marc: Fine, here’s forty bucks, when your shift ends, buy a bottle of whiskey and go nuts! That’s an order!

Day -6

Morning:

Blake: Good morning Maria, is Luigi still asleep?

Maria: Yes, he’s rather hung over.

Blake: Not a problem, I know just what to do.

(Blake walks into the kitchen and grabs a pot and a large spoon)

CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!

Blake: Wake up sleepyhead, we’ve got a big schedule today!

Luigi: (groan) I want to die!

Blake: You know the Tour is less than a week away, we’ve got last minute work on the car to do.

Luigi: Ugh, can’t it wait until tomorrow, my head is killing me.

(Blake raises the pot and spoon)

Luigi: Alright alright! I’ll get up.

(Later after a shower and a shitload of coffee)

Blake: Where’d you get this push bar?

Luigi: Old 109.

Blake: They finally retired her?

Luigi: Yup, replaced her with a Seneca.

Blake: I can’t believe it, that things been overdue since I was still there.

Luigi: Son of a bitch! God damn bolt snapped!

Blake: To the frame?

Luigi: No, this God forsaken undertray!

Blake: Leave it off then, those things were usually nothing more than grief anyway.

Luigi: With pleasure. So I meant to ask, is everything okay? Charlotte seemed a little distracted.

Blake: It’s Zach, apparently his girlfriend has been cheating on him.

Luigi: That’s rough. Okay, all done under here.

Blake: Excellent. You think she’ll pull through the challenge?

Luigi: Well, she’s got a new axle, the push bar. Plus that new stereo system we installed.

Blake: I can’t believe you bothered with this hood ornament.

Luigi: Hey, it was at the junkyard, and I figured since this is largely a homegrown car now, why not?

Day -5

(Blake is out in the backyard splitting wood, a piece flies out and smashes a tail light on the Enforcer)

Blake: Son of a bitch!

(Blake and Luigi head out to the junkyard in search of a new tail light assembly. The only ones they find are off a Gen I Enforcer. Fortunately the only difference is an amber lens, so they get a pair to put on the car.)

Day -3

Charlotte: You can’t just sit around the house moping all week.

Zach: Why not? I just got dumped, my classes are going nowhere, my life is in shambles!

Charlotte: That’s why you need to get out, take your mind off her.

Zach: Just leave me alone!

Charlotte: I want you to consider going with your father on this trip.

Zach: Oh yeah, there’s a way to spend my vacation, crammed in a car with three old guys!

Charlotte: Or think of it as time to gather your thoughts, not to mention a chance to bond with your dad. I know you two have grown apart.

Zach: Okay, I’ll think about it!

Charlotte: No, you’re going on this trip!

Zach: And if I refuse?

Charlotte: Then I’ll guarantee you’ll have a worse time here!

Zach: Fine!

Charlotte: Get your stuff packed, I understand they plan on leaving tomorrow.

Day -2

Marc: I can’t believe you wasted time and money on this ridiculous stereo system!

Luigi: Okay, by ridiculous I think you mean “Bitchin”

Marc: No, I mean a waste of money and time.

Blake: Hey, there’s nothing wrong with having some good music on a drive, and now this car has a CD player.

Zach: Yay, the top of the line of Yesterday!

Marc: Throw your stuff in the trunk, there’s plenty of room.

Luigi: Yeah, that’s one of the best things about this car, huge trunk space, plenty of room for spare parts and food and gear.

(Our Intrepid team sets out on the road, Blake is currently behind the wheel)

Blake: Look, I know this isn’t how you planned on spending your vacation, but you’ll have fun, trust me.

Zach: (staring into his phone) Yeah, sure.

Blake: Will you at least look at me when I’m talking to you?

Zach: Yeah, sure.

Blake: Okay! (Grabs Zach’s phone out of his hands and throws it out the window)

Zach: What the hell?

Blake: Oh, now you’re paying attention!

Zach: Why’d you throw my phone out the window you crazy old man?

Blake: (whaps Zach across the forehead) Enough! I really don’t need your bullshit right now! I get it’s natural for kids to be angry with their parents for no reason…

Zach: I’m not a kid anymore!

Blake: And yet you act like one! Look, I’m sorry about Mia.

Zach: No you’re not, you never liked her!

Blake: And yet she turned out to be a two-timing bitch, seems like I’m vindicated.

Zach: sigh I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing!

Blake: You’re supposed to be upset, but you’ll get over it. There are plenty of women out there… and most of them will be a disappointment.

Luigi: So, um, is the whole trip going to be like this?

Zach: Maybe, I didn’t even want to come along!

Marc: You want to know my advice?

Zach: Sure why not? You’re all going to tell me regardless of whether I want to know.

Marc: https://youtu.be/RsyXV-B3uGk

Day 0

(The Enforcer arrives at the site)

Luigi: Will you look at that green paint job?

Marc: Braille for the colorblind.

Zach: You mind turning up the heat, I’m a little chilly.

Luigi: The heats already on full, (feels vent) What the hell?

Blake: You topped it off with coolant right?

Luigi: Yeah, right before we left. God dammit, what is with this car now?

(Marc and Zach walk around to stretch their legs while Blake and Luigi check under the hood)

Blake: There! That’s running down the front of the motor.

Luigi: Where?

Blake: Right by the pulley. Dammit! I think the water pump took a shit!

Luigi: Great, I wish we caught that before.

Marc: Find anything?

Blake: Yeah, we need a new water pump.

Marc: Damn! That’s not good.

Zach: I don’t suppose you happened to stock one of those in the trunk?

Luigi: No I didn’t Mr. Smartass, but we shouldn’t have much trouble finding one at a parts store.

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(Technically, the car does have sliding rear doors, so it’s at least a little unusual.)

Highway Hooligans, Day 0 Part 1 - Arrival

As the team of Spanish Fiesta wandered over and asked about their car and engine, Marcus smiled. “That’s a Dynamite E5, a midsize family-hatch from the year 2000. As for the engine… 2005 Dynamite T-1600, the 5.4 liter I4. Originally naturally aspirated, but we threw on a cheap turbo to make a bit more power.” he said.

“Does it have gullwing doors? Looks like it came out of Underground 2.” Alejandro asked.

“No, but it does have these from the factory.” Marcus said, grabbing the key fob and hitting two buttons. The rear doors gave a clunk, then slid back. “The jokers at Dynamite put minivan doors on a sedan.”

After the two brothers took a good look at the bright red engine in the vivid green sedan, they headed back to their car.

“Isn’t it risky showing them what we’ve got when we don’t know what they’ve got?” Jake asked.

“Not really. If we can shake someone’s confidence, we’ll stand a better chance.” Cody said.

“If the car holds up.” Marcus added.

Trevor wandered back with a couple bottles of beer in hand, grinning stupidly.

“Where the hell’d you find beer in this dump?” Marcus asked.

“Pinched a couple bottles outta someone’s case. Kinda shit beer to be honest. But free beer is good beer.”

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Thursday (Day 1), 9:00am - Driver’s Meeting

“Good morning, participants!”

The event chair smiled broadly as he looked out at the gathered crowd from atop an overturned crate. Behind him was the silhouette of the National Frontier Trails Museum, a squarish, low-slung single story affair. A couple antique wagons were scattered on the grounds in front of the building.

"I see you’ve all brought your deathtraps. That’s good. It’s time to see how they hold up going West. We’re passing out waypoint lists now, and we’ll let you all start at exactly 10 am. Where are you going? Oregon, of course! Time to follow in the footsteps of tens of thousands from almost two hundred years ago.

“Less cholera and dysentary this time around. At least we hope. Can you and your ride make it in 76 hours or less? We’ll soon find out! You have 12 mandatory waypoints on the list.”

Then his smile twisted into something slightly evil.

"But what would this be if we didn’t have a twist? I bet a few of you thought you had a completely solid plan going in. We’re going to monkey with that a bit now. We’re adding a THIRD winner to this competition. Whoever adds on the most OPTIONAL, HISTORIC waypoints along the way, and still makes it within the 80 hour timeline.

“That’s right, for those of you going for the average, you now have to worry about who is making stops along the way, and throwing off your pace.”

The event chair seemed to revel in the momentary confusion.

“Good luck to all of you.”

Waypoint List

This time around I am posting the entire waypoint list, along with their mileage from start, pre-emptively.

Minor Park/Red Bridge Crossing - 19 miles
Fort Kearny State Historical Park - 344 miles
Ash Hollow State Historical Park - 523 miles
Chimney Rock National Historic Site - 599 miles
Fort Laramie - 674 miles
South Pass - 978 miles
Fort Hall - 1259 miles
Three Island Crossing State Park - 1432 miles
Emigrant Springs State Heritage Area - 1698 miles
The Dalles, OR - 1848 miles
East end of Barlow Road - 1889 miles (MUST take Barlow Road!)
End of the Trail Interpretive Museum - 2020 miles

I will post the first time slot batch in about 6 or 7 hours. If you have anything you want your team to strive for in the first few hours, PM me (one team has already given me a specific stop they want to do).

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I got home much later tonight than I expected, so I will do the first time segment tomorrow night. Sorry.

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yes, I know it's late, but I was very busy

Team Rice Box; leading up days

Day -2, 6:45am

Charlotte was completing Final Checks before her and Lyra drove from Calgary to Kansas City. She had found a leak in the power steering, but couldn’t do anything about it.
“How’s the M45 doing?” Lyra asked as she walked down the driveway.
“Banana should be fine to last us all the way. Did find an issue with our power steering, but that shouldn’t be too much of an issue.” Charlotte and Lyra packed parts and their own gear into the boot of Banana. Charlotte bade farewell to her Cat, Lithew, and her Boyfriend, Oliver, and they departed for the journey to Kansas city.

Day -1, 7:30pm

Lyra pulled Banana into the Hotel Parking lot on the outskirts of KC.
“Aren’t we meant to be Camping or something?” Charlotte asked.
“We’re spending the night here, and camping with everyone else tomorrow night. I want at least one good night’s sleep.”
“Okay, that is true.” As Lyra went to check them in, Charlotte grabbed their bags out from the boot of Banana, and did some small final, rather pedantic, checks. She also started setting up the Cameras inside Banana, to record their videos with. Lyra called out to Charlotte, and she locked up Banana before heading up to their room with the bags.

Lyra, being the self-proclaimed researcher, decided to do some reading up that night on the past 2 events run by these people.
“Did you know that the winner of their first event was in a Merciel Hatchback?”
“Interesting”
“Shame no people who are entering in this one are up online”
“Guess we’ll need to scope out the competition tomorrow, then”

Day 0, 9:00pm

Lyra and Charlotte arrived at the Campsite, bumbling Banana through the site, to find a spot near any team they can. Lyra starts to go through the route plan that she’s put together. Charlotte checks over the car once more, before setting up the two tents.
“Char, I’m gonna get a fire going, alright?”
“Sure. Once I’m done here, I’m going for a wander. See if I can talk to anyone. Maybe see if anyone even knows us.”
“Hahaha, Suuuuure.”

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Day 0 - Kent Croissants

Team and Info

Oak Grove Campsite

ᴵ’ᵐ ᶫᵃᵗᵉ ˢᵒʳʳʸ ᴵ’ᶫᶫ ᵏᵉᵉᵖ ᵒᶰ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵉˢᵗ

“You don’t have to drive so slow” moaned Damien “just park anywhere it doesn’t matter”

“I’m trying to find a space shut up” replied Jordan turning a corner in the car park “oh for gods sake” he said as he saw the aggressively green Highway Hooligans car parked across three spaces. Its green paint glowing brightly even in the grey evening light.

Jordan parked opposite the luminous green car, and the three got out of the car, opened the boot and bags fell out of the tightly packed boot.

“Jees how much did you pack” Aaron exclaimed from behind his and Damien’s bags struggling under the weight of Damien’s added luggage.

“Just the kitchen sink and the rest of the flat” replied Damien sarcastically.

–

Jordan came back from checking around the campsite for the rest of the competition whilst Aaron and Damien sat by the tent in some cheap fold out chairs. “Anything interesting around?” asked Aaron.

“You could call them interesting yes. There’s some brown Letto Merda thing that … well its called a Merda so it’s what you’d expect, a yellow Conte Ataque and a Merciel Vitesse that apparently won last time” Jordan replied sitting down in an empty chair by the small open fire.

“Who on earth would call their car a Merda, and why would you offer it in brown of all colours” said Aaron shaking his head with an expression of ‘why?’ on his face, Gazing into the fire.

“I assume that viscously green car is taking part as well” added Damien after a couple of minutes “I heard someone say its got a 5.4 litre turbo four cylinder engine”

“Bloody hell!” replied the other two in unison with their mouths wide open in disbelief.

“That’s massive! There’s some proper teams against us hope we do alright.” followed Aaron.

The three sat in front of the flickering orange fire for a while longer talking about the upcoming journey and then went to sleep with Damien grumbling about the early start.

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For the Waypoints, Do we have to visit them in the Order listed, or as long as we visit them along the way (I Tried inputting them in Google maps & Unless I Screwed something up (Totally Possible), there would be some backtracking if we have to go to them in order listed).
Day 1 Route Removed

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  1. there’s no backtracking, Google can get confused because a couple waypoints have “duplicate” names (Americans aren’t always 100% unique in naming things). Trust me, I vetted it, it’s linear and roughly along the lines of the original trail.

  2. resend that to me in PM and remove it from the thread, please…

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Legend of Terms:

TBDC: Time Block Distance Covered. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
ODC: Overall Distance Covered. This is the total distance that the team has covered since Noon on Friday
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.

Thursday, 10AM - 12PM

Weather Conditions: 88 degrees, sunny, humid

Most vehicles are on I-29 North or I-80 West.

Upcoming POI (optional, let me know if you want to stop at them for rest/sightseeing): California Hill.

Next Waypoint: Fort Kearny State Historical Site

VicVictory:
TBDC: 121 mi OD: 121 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park

@BobLoblaw
TBDC: 0 mi OD: 0 mi MRL: -3 FTG: +2 Notes: Immediately went to the parts store to procure a new water pump and replace it. Pump procured. Replacement in progress.

@Madrias
TBDC: 123 mi OD: 123 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park

@Mr.Computah
TBDC: 118 mi OD: 118 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park

@TR8R
TBDC: 84 mi OD: 84 mi MRL: +2 FTG: +0 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor park. POI visited: Alcove Spring, KS.

@HighOctaneLove
TBDC: 75 mi OD: 75 mi MRL: -4 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor park. Team was pulled over for (rather excessively) speeding on I-29 north by a Kansas State Trooper. Registration passes muster, but the trooper made it clear he didn’t want to see your ugly beater back in this state.

@Fayeding_Spray
TBDC: 113 mi OD: 113 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park. Steering was getting heavy, quick break to replenish fluid.

@Zabhawkin
TBDC: 118 mi OD: 118 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

@conan
TBDC: 118 mi OD: 118 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

@findRED19
TBDC: 113 mi OD: 113 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park. Torque bind is getting a bit worse.

@Mythrin
TBDC: 113 mi OD: 113 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

@JohnWaldock
TBDC: 110 mi OD: 110 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

@bastormonger
TBDC: 113 mi OD: 113 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

@abg7
TBDC: 118 mi OD: 118 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint ompleted: Minor Park.

@DoctorNarfy
TBDC: 115 mi OD: 115 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

@DeusExMackia
TBDC: 115 mi OD: 115 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

@Dorifto_Dorito
TBDC: 121 mi OD: 121 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

@stm316
TBDC: 118 mi OD: 118 mi MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park.

@LordLetto
TBDC: 113 mi OD: 113 mi MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Notes: Waypoint completed: Minor Park. Got stuck behind slow traffic for a while.

The following vehicles are in packs:
Ardent, Merciel - 121 mi
Conte, DMA, Bonchon, Rigel, G&W - 118 mi
PRJ, AEA, Cedar, Kageshima, Letto - 113 mi

Team Teal Terror

“DON’T CRASH!” Fuzz cackled gleefully as he squirted a stream of water directly in his sister’s face.

To her credit, she didn’t crash. Just cursed at him for juvenile, dangerous behavior.

“Ah, so you admit you’re a bad driver and I can’t distract you!” he snorted mischievously. “Good, pull over. It’s my turn to drive.”

“No way. We switch at Kearny. That was the deal.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just giving you shit.”

Jen smirked. “Aww, Teddy. You’ve always been a little shit. But giving yourself away is a new thing. Is your pimp telling you to give away the goods again!”

“Well, if I want to make Sergeant, you know…”

Jen made a gagging noise. “Gross.” She swiftly grabbed Fuzz’s water bottle, closed her eye, and sprayed herself liberally with the cool water.

“Ugh. You’re telling me. I did NOT want to go to family edition of the wet t-shirt contest.”

She shrugged. “Get used to it. No A/C. Gotta keep cool somehow. Grossing you out is just a bonus.”

Fuzz grimaced, then looked back at the GPS, checking the mileage remaining before the fort.

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Highway Hooligans

Day 0, Part 1 - “What’s Under the Hood?”

In the Driver’s Meeting

“So, the Oregon Trail. Interesting little road trip.” Marcus said.
“Says the guy who raced Route 66 a couple years ago. And you said you’d retired.” Cody said, giving his brother a good ribbing.
“Was hardly a race, most of the people there brought out large barges and cruised it. Only a handful of us actually made decent time.”

DING! “Your headlights are on.”

“Jake, turn the headlights off.” Trevor snapped.

“Why, we’re driving in a few minutes anyway? I’ll just turn the engine on.”

“Fine.”

A few moments of cursing later, and Jake had his key in the ignition, and the engine running. With the drivers’ meeting over, Marcus wandered back, then saw Jake in his seat.

“Really? Fine, you’re in the hot seat, you take the first leg.” Marcus said. “And before anyone thinks about it, Shotgun.” With that said, he settled into the passenger seat. Cody took the seat behind his brother, while Trevor sat there on the driver’s side, eating a bag of chips.

“Really, Trev? I know we didn’t pack any of those, either.” Cody said, rolling his eyes.

“I’m regretting the decision anyway. They suck.” Trevor said, throwing the empty bag out of the window.

Departure

Marcus grabbed the cassette adapter cable, then plugged in his phone. With a few quick clicks, he raised the volume, then started the first song in the playlist.

He reached up, then turned the Neons on, and set them to “Music Mode” so they’d pulse in time with the music. “Gotta love that mode. In my XR-3, I had it labeled as ‘Dance Fucker Dance’ but I didn’t bring a label maker this time.” Marcus said. Jake nodded, turning on the bright green fog-lights and trying to carefully roll the car up to the starting line.

CRUNCH! GRRRRR!

“Use the clutch, Jake.” Cody said, grinning. “The old rule of ‘If you can’t find it, grind it’ doesn’t work so well in a car with a big engine, and I’m not going to be happy if we have to go without second gear.”

“I’m trying, but you know I suck at driving stick.” Jake said.

“Consider this a learning experience, then.” Trevor said.

CRUNCH!

“Fine, you need some incentive then.” Marcus said. “Grind my gearbox again and I’ll give you a charlie horse.”

At the line, Jake managed to get it stopped up without stalling the engine. The flag dropped, and Jake dumped the clutch halfway up the rev range, leaving in an almighty cloud of tire smoke, noise, music, and flashing lights. Second gear was an easy slap shift, and the traction control finally stepped in to keep the rear wheels from burning.

CRUNCH!
THUD! “OW!” Jake yelled, the car weaving all over the lane as he tried to lean away from any further attacks.

“I warned you. Use the fuckin’ clutch.”

Eventually, the gear changes smoothed out, and the Highway Hooligans were hurtling down the highway at breakneck speeds, hauled along by the mother of all I4’s and its pet snail. “You can almost feel the explosions.” Jake yelled over the colossal racket in the car.

“I know. Imagine this with one less cylinder, no turbo, and a straight-pipe.” Marcus said.

“That had to shake like crazy!” Trevor said from the back seat.

“Soda was not an option on that trip. It was like driving a paint shaker.”

Jake reached over, grabbing a can of Monster and downing most of it. “Least we’ve got a little smoother engine this time, and we’re making great speed.” he said, before finishing the can. “Um, where’s the garbage?”

“Right here.” Marcus said, grabbing the can, opening his window and sending the empty metal container flying. Jake grinned, lightly horrified by how quickly Marcus had made that decision, and yet amused that, for once, he could litter and not hear an earful from his parents about it.

Trevor rolled down his window as Marcus rolled up his, then sent two empty beer bottles flying into the passing lane. “Weight reduction, bro.” He said, before laughing like a drunken madman.

“Well, if anyone wants to find where we started from, just follow the trail of trash.” Cody said, laughing.

They hurtled down the highway for a while before Cody looked at the GPS and then realized something. “Dude, I think we’re in the fuckin’ lead!” he said.

“Don’t. Don’t you fuckin’ jinx us, Cody, or I swear to fuck you’re going to have road rash on your ass.” Marcus said.

The Highway Hooligans raced down the Highway to the sound of thumping music and the roaring engine. And the occasional flying object evicted from the car.

Aftermath:

Morale: +1 (Change: +1)
Fatigue: +1 (Change: +1)
Waypoints Complete: 1
Notes: Listening to music on the highway at high volume.

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Previous [Day -2 through 0]

Team Rice Box

Day 1, 9:00am - Post Drivers Meeting

“Well, my route guess was wrong, haha,” Lyra looked toward Charlotte, who was holding a Go-pro, “Oh, you’ve already started recording.”
“Yes, I recorded the entire meeting, so they knew what was happening.”
“You’re much better at this vlogging stuff than me.”
“That’s because it’s what I do, Ly.”
“Very True. Very True.” They head back to Banana, Charlotte does yet another final check, and mounts some external Go-pros for “Cool shots.” Lyra keeps looking at Team S.O.B, stuck in her own world.
“Earth to Lyra, we have a race to start.” Charlotte calls to her.
“Fuck, sorry, sorry.” Lyra hops into the Driver’s seat, starts the woeful i4, and they drive over to the start line

Day 1, Waypoint 1
“Right, you do what we need to do, I’ll get to doing the Power steering… it’s already buggered.” Charlotte ordered to Lyra.
“Well, we’re in Minor Park, some other teams here. We’re gonna try and keep up with them, although we’re not actually that fast. Chinese engineering, I guess. Say Hello to everyone, Char!”
“Hiya, Power Steering has a few issues, but all we can do is refill the fuel. This is gonna be a long 3 days.”
“Right, back onto the road for us, as it looks like the others are bailing, too.” Lyra shuts off the Go-pro, and they rush back into Banana, to try to keep pace with the other teams."

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Team Mountain Pass

Team info
Thursday, 10AM to Noon

These events take place between 10AM and Noon, Thursday.

Pierre
So here we are again. On the starting line of yet another junk car racing meet. We’re surrounded by various bland varieties of third grade automotive cast-offs but this time we’ve equipped ourselves with a wildcard that’s sure to see Team Mountain Pass take the silverware (ironmongery?) this time around. After the driver’s meeting we’re all moved into a loose starting grid and made to wait for the start signal. At T minus 5 minutes we’re indicated to strap in, start our engines and prepare for the start. At precisely 10AM local time, the flag drops and we’re off in a cloud of tyre smoke, our Leeroy racecar living up to it’s heritage by taking the lead early, with only a slight pause at Minor Park for a hurried snapshot before racing off again.

About an hour into our stint disaster struck; we’re pulled over by one of Kansas’s finest… He lectures us on how dangerous we are acting for nearly an hour before letting us go with a warning and an admonition to never let him see our shitty import ever again. Suitably chastised, we move off at a slower pace, then continue to floor it once the Police are out of earshot!

Andrew
I’m in full agreeance with Pierre on our wildcard except for one thing; the body has some shabby looking cracks and the race-tape isn’t making things better! After an uneventful start, if you could call being immersed in the deafening wail of a small V12 uneventful, I notice something on the side of the road… It’s the fuzz!!! We bolt past 'em like a streak of lightning and, much to our dismay, they take up the chase.

Despite my frantic instructions to run for the border, Pierre chokes and we pull over. The Highway patrolman pulls us over, makes us get out of the car then proceeds to scold us about how fast we were going while his partner checks our registration and licences. Thankfully they don’t pick up on the re-birth and after berating us for an hour, plus having a suspicious fleet of beaters zoom past, the troopers let us go with a warning.

The patrol car pops a u-turn and heads back the way we came, Pierre slowly and smoothly moves off then, after a ten-count, he guns the feral Bogliq in an attempt to make up for lost time!!!

TBDC: 75 miles
OD: 75 miles
Morale: -4 If we keep getting pulled over we can’t win!
Fatigue: +1 Not much leg-room, ergonomics or aircon in the LM079-13

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Team Big Blue, Part 1

Minor Park

Paul: So far so good eh? Well, for starters Big Blue is holding up nicely.

Steve: You’re dead right. We’ve made it to Minor Park without incident.

Ash: The next waypoint is in Fort Kearney… and we should have no trouble reaching that either.

Jez: We’re supposed to be challenging a bright blue Bogliq right now… Hang on, what on earth happened to it?

Paul: They must have been pulled over by the cops for speeding. Its crew seriously underestimated how fast it could go and paid the price - but at least they are still in the race.

Steve: What about that red Enforcer from the Kinda Grand Tour?

Ash: Seems like it couldn’t even get off the starting line.

Jez: Hmmm… I wonder what’s the problem. It’s likely that its crew had to order a new part and install it, leading to significant delays. As for us, we’re in a chase pack, but we’re confident that we can chase the leaders from here. Now, Paul, concentrate on your driving and we should make steady progress for at least the next few dozen miles.

And with that, Paul hunkered down and continued his team’s relentless journey towards their final destination.

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Team Cunning Stunts: Part 1&2

S: Stephie
L: Lawrence
A: Alex

PART 1

S: Looks like we’re in the right place
A: Yeah I think I can recognise a bunch of teams from the Roulette Runner
L: Ahh the car’s arrived!
S: Wait, why is it on the back of a truck?
L: Well, I didn’t want to risk breaking it on the way here. Its lived a hard life.
A: I mean it barely survived the Roulette Runner.
S: Well get it off the truck then and get it running. I have no intention of coming last.
A: Yeah, yeah sis. Ill get it running.

S: Alright, so we need to go through all the mandatory waypoints and thats it?
L: Wait, are we not going for the Historical route?
S: Nah, we’re going for the fastest time on the mandatory route.
A: Right, Ive got the car working again. Electronics are fucked and the radiator fan likes to jam, but everything should be fine.

PART 2

MARSHALL: Alright, Team Stu…Cunning Stunts you’re up next.
S: Okay, everyone strapped in?
L: Yup
A: Lets go!
Stephie floors the pedal and the car lurches forward

A: Woah! Slow down sis! You’re pushing the car too hard.
S: She’ll be able to take it, wont ya you lucky lady?
L: I sure hope she will.
S: Well we’re reaching the waypoint now.
A: Huh looks like the Ardent is there already?
L: Dont push it.
S: Come on, we cant be second. We’re going home first again.
L: sigh. Well dont push it for long.
A: Anyone need a leak yet?

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Day -57, 14.00.

It was a dreary afternoon in some obscure suburban town. A dilapidated looking BMMA Dolphine showed up at a rather nice looking house that has about 4 more dilapidated looking cars in various state of work on the driveway. Among those is a dark red automobile that no one has ever seen in a long long time.

An Asian man with dark complexion stepped out of the BMMA. He walked to the red car and admire it a bit. He couldn’t believe he found one, let alone in working condition.

It was this moment that a fat man walked out of the house. They greeted.

“Good day, Mister Kim.” Asian man said.
“Calling me Kim is too appropriate for our car, isn’t it?” The fat man replied.
“I presume all the works have been done on it?” Asian man asked.
“It’s been done, Benny. All of it.” The fat man name Kim replied again.
“Not that the car would likely to finish the race anyway, right? Haha.” Asian guy name Benny told the man.
“With this hooptie ass car? What did you expect?”
“How the fuck did we manage to get one anyway? Most of these have been scrapped since the Clinton administration. These were so terrible people used to buy them for their engine only.”
“And certainly not with this one. This is the Turbo remember. Most’ve blown up 18 months after it left the dealer right after the warranty ran out.”

The car in question is a Bonchon Masterpiece. Bonchon is a Korean manufacturer of heavy industry that ventured into Automobile sometime in the 70’s. The Masterpiece was the first Korean car to be sold in North America. This is a Turbo trim featuring 130hp engine. This soulless automobile was so terrible that most owner’ve thrown it away. But this car survived. How? Don’t ask. Only thing we know that it’s very likely not going to survive for much longer.

Day 1, Driver’s Meeting.

Kim and Benny brought the Bonchon to the car park where the driver’s meeting is happening. The car attracted attention of absolutely no one. Except this one ordinary guy who they didn’t even know who he is but he came up and asked them this question.

“Is that a Bonchon Masterpiece?”
“Why yes, it is.” Kim replied
“Wow” The wow that man gave them was the quietest, yet most sincere a wow the Bonchon Masterpiece ever got in it’s entirety of life.
“Pretty nice, huh? This one is a Turbo as well.”
“Oh my god” That man exclaims. “Are you doing the tour? I wish you two the best of luck. You’ll need a lot of it.”
“For sure.”

Part 1.

The Bonchon fired up into life with only slight hiccup. The carburetor needs to be work for it to fire up. But nothing of unusualness.

Because this car is very likely not going to finish the race anyway. And there’s a poll going on in the “Hooptie Community” about where this car will end up dead. While it doesn’t appear to have any mechanical issues that’s clear yet. The whole car shakes and rattles and making incredible rackets at any speed except parked.

Kim Kessling was the driver. He’s a fat white ass working in posh restaurant taking time off to drive this butt turrible car for a really long distance. He have very little faith in the car and so he’s going to push it as hard as he can bear while not wearing himself out.

The Asian man sitting beside him is Benigno Vega. A Filipino. His job is to keep this car running, but he also has little faith in this piece of crap. He just wish that any problem that may arise, let it be a terminal one so he doesn’t have to get his hand dirty and this car may still not run. No little gremlins, let there be some explosion.

The first leg went very smoothly. Too smoothly. The two are anticipating for big problem, which surely will come very soon…

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@HighOctaneLove … Kansas, not Kentucky. :wink:

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Team Spanish Fiesta: Day 1.

“Alright Ana, time to get strapped in, the race’s going to start soon. Everything ready?” - Alejandro asked.
“Yeah, everything’s ready. Let’s go out there and show these guys how it’s done.” - Replied Ana.

Ana lined the car up at the starting point, waiting for the signal, she pressed the clutch, placed the gear selector in first and revved the engine up to roughly peak torque. As soon as the start signal was given, Ana dumped the clutch, sending the car forward with a touch of wheelspin.

“Try to get in front as soon as possible, let’s try to play with their morale!” - Alejandro shouted, over the 4 banger, which screamed its way through the gears.

The bright green Dynamite, the Merciel and the Bogliq soon outran the old hatchback. Despite that, Ana decided to keep on fighting the group, finding herself chased by a black truck, the Exempla and other racers. Following the neatest lines she was able to due to the traffic, she kept dancing through the commuters and the people who were not taking part in the race.

“We’re not letting them have it!” - Shouted Ana, as she played with the steering wheel, controlling the pedals and upshifting and downshifting whenever she could. “Did you take a look at the gearshift, Alejandro?”.

“It seemed alright when I inspected it!” - He replied.

“Well, guess what! The fourth gear is hard to get into, the synchro is not working properly!” - Ana replied.

“Look, isn’t that the Bogliq?” - Ana asked, looking at the blue race car stopped at the side of the road. “Looks like they got pulled over.”

“Maybe speeding. They should be more careful when it comes to avoiding the police.” - Alejandro replied.

Ana then took a look at the rear view mirror. The truck was still there, drafting behind them, trying to overtake. Ana blocked the attempts, fearing for the consequences if they crashed as their car was noticeably smaller, but she managed to keep the truck at bay; however, the battle would still carry on as they reached the waypoint.

To be continued.

Fatigue: +1 (that start was intense and required Ana to pay extra attention).
Morale: +1 (we’ve reached the first waypoint! Our pace is consistent!)
Notes: individual throttle bodies inline 4, loud. Playing synthwave through a phone, only hearable if someone’s close.

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Team Harcourt-Entwhistle

Mopey : Gran, do we have to visit EVERY rundown craphole on this journey???

THWACK

Mopey : OW!!!

Gran: We’ll have less of that language young man! You’ve been to some of the best schools money can afford.

Spanners: Only because he was thrown out of most of them. He does have a point though Mrs E…we’ll never win this if we stop everywhere!

Gran: And we’ll have less of that from you David! We’re sightseeing and THAT’S the final say on the matter. Oh, by the way David…I noticed a hole in the back of the vehicle…is that dangerous in any way?

Spanners: Erm…well I had a problem getting enough metal to weld the floor in…I’m sure it’s going to be alright…fingers crossed…hopefully. Now about these “stops”.

Gran: Not another word I said. Remember the tortoise and the hedgehog, well that same principle is at work here!

Mopey: Hare Gran…the tortoise and the HARE! All these other people are HARES…but they won’t wait around and let us win!

THWACK

Mopey: OW!!!

Gran: LAST WORD!

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Pit Stop US Part 1

In Town, Thursday (Day 1), Just after 8am. Less than 1 hour before Driver’s Meeting

James is standing in front of the camera. “Well, today’s the start of the Go West Deathtrap Tour. We’re meeting in front the National Frontier Trails Museum in about an hour.” The camera zooms out a bit to capture the car.
“I made a run to the parts store at 8, to see if they had a light switch for this car in stock,” says James, “They didn’t. So I made a run to the local hardware store to pick up some supplies.” He bends down to start unplugging a wiring mess on the light switch. The dash is partially disassembled.
“This toggle switch should get us by so we don’t have to disconnect the battery every night. Now Nathan is out going for a run. I think he actually just wants to see what junk we’ll be running against. And old man dirt, he’s checking out of the hotel and getting us coffee.”

“Now a little history for those of you at home,” continues James, “The Corzippa GT2 was a car of 3s: 300 hp, 3000lbs, and 3 wheel drive. When the all wheel drive system is not maintained properly, sometimes one wheel will randomly lock up, and sometimes it will receive no power at all. Most of the time it’s the later, but the former is what costed AEA so much in lawsuits and helped bring them to near bankruptcy at the turn of the century. As luck would have it, our AWD system is showing signs of failure, also know as torque bind.”

Nathan comes jogging back. “So,” he asks, “did you get the lights fixed then?”
“Finishing it up right now,” stated James. “But we got bigger problems.”
Nathan: “Oh?”
“You know that shudder I felt in my seat yesterday when we were going around the sharp corner?” asks James.
Nathan: “Yeah, isn’t it the differential?”
“Not exactly,” replies James, “It’s torque bind. I took the car around a few corners in the parking lot and it appeared consistently.”
Nathan: “So that’s bad?”
James: “Yep.”

Charles walks up to the duo, “Got yer coffees, fresh with yer creamers and sugars.”
“Oh, thanks,” James and Nathan say in unison.
“So, what’s the verdict?” asks Charles.
Nathan: “The awd is junk. It has torque bind.”
“Oh, dear,” replied Charles, slightly deflated.
Nathan: “It will hold up for the event though, right?”
“Sure,” replied James, half sarcastic.

Event start, 10am
The Pit Stop team starts off, at an easy but quick pace. Car seems to be preforming well enough.

“So, we’re following the Oregon Trail, right?” asks Nathan.
“Yep,” replies James, who is currently driving.
“So what landmarks are we going to stop by then?” asks Nathan.
“Whichever ones your heart desires,” replies James, jokingly.
“We should definitely see Chimney rock then,” says James, “…Most of the important forts as well…”
“The Golden Spike Tower in North Platte,” interjects Charles, “We can’t miss that.”
“Of course,” James replies, “we can go see your trains for an hour if you’d like.”

With that, Charles reclined his seat, satisfied. Nathan then decided it would be more comfortable to use the rear seats as a bed, and tried stretching out on them.

(An unspoken rule in Pit Stop is to never seriously upset the old man. Whether it was out of respect, or fear, is unknown, as Charles had served in the US Marines but somehow retained his sanity after his final tour had ended.)

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Inside the Science Guys Shromet Mystic.

“Honestly, fuck the Midwest.” Nicholas says while staring out the open window, at the admittedly pretty but mundane western scenery.

“Tell us how you really feel…” Agustus rolls his eyes.

“Alright, I will! NOTHING good comes from here. The only people who live here are inbred cocaine dealers and polygamists. Even then, the buffalo population is larger than most states.” Nicholas Ranted…

“How do you live with him?..” Agustus sighed, looking back to Steve.

“Hey, can we at least wait until a bit more of the trip has passed to kill one another?” Steve pops his head over the center console. “How’s the car holding up, Gus?”

“It feels brand new, honestly… And by that, I mean, slow, tragic, weak, and slushy. But mechanically fine.” Agustus Nods. “Except for… Y’know.” He gestures at the hole in the floorpan, which all three know exists, but are choosing to ignore.

“Shush! It’s not there if we ignore it!” Nicholas says. “Look. We’re a little behind right now… But I think we’ll catch up if we don’t push it and just maintain a good average speed…”

“You do the mappy bit, I’ll do the drivey bit, okay Nicky?” Agustus nods.

“I told you not to call me Nicky…” Nicholas Glares.

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