I feel a huge need to vent now

Off Topic
1
TW: murder

Tuesday morning, I heard about a woman that had been stabbed to death by her husband in a village nearby, and since that village isn’t that big, I got an uneasy feeling. Watching the news, I saw the police tape around exactly the house I had hoped that it would NOT be.

Yesterday I was mostly cold and empty inside but today I have realized that it really happened and now it feels like hell compared to yesterday. My intuition was very strong already from the start that he would be really bad for her and I warned her. She didn’t listen and now I have a hard time not to blame myself for not trying harder to convince her. We were talking to each other just a little over a week ago, and what she said about his behaviour gave me chills, now I feel bad for not trying harder to get her from there. But would she have listened in either case? Probably not and it is not my fault, I know…I still would do anything to rewind time and try harder…

No matter what, I have lost one of my few remaining friends to the totally pointless cruelty of mankind and it only feels like shit now…

So well, no energy for Auto stuff at the moment, either I will take a break, or feel a need to play to forget, too early to answer. If I have promised to do anything, please remind me since my brain is a mess now, I only know that I have to send in my ARM entry by now.

Feel free to remove if personal rants aren’t welcome, I just felt that I had to get this out now…

19 Likes
2

Your personal life takes absolute preference over this. Please take all the time you need, friend. That’s absolutely awful and you will be in our prayers :heart:

3 Likes
3

Thanks, yes, I know that, it’s more that if I have promised something, which I don’t remember that I have now, I like to keep my promises too, or at least come up with an explanation…

My emotions have turned into rage now TBH. I feel now that the definition of a coward is someone that attacks an almost 60 year old woman that is around 150 cm long and in chronical pain. What a showoff in masculinity, strength and bravery… At least the rage is now aimed at the person that deserved it, not myself that did all that I could do…

1 Like
4

I don’t want to be too salty, but life is hell. Many people think that they have a lot of responsibility for everything that happens in the world, but in fact people are not unique in their attitude: pain happens to everyone, but among people we live as if others know nothing about it. Simply put, you will make more new beloved friends. Do not worry about society - think only about yourself, and personal responsibility. You would not have saved her telepathically, and moreover, you most likely did not even feel that something bad had happened, because the developed rationality suppresses feelings.