Glad you asked! You see, after “”""""“reviewing”"""""" CNC’s rather wonderful car, I’d thought I would actually try to do something worthwhile in terms of reviewing. I rather like creative writing and what better way than through being a cynical bastard to people who probably don’t deserve it, yeah?
First and foremost, I must confess that I have absolutely no clue what I’m really doing. I’ll probably need help to judge the cars well and to do it fairly. That being said, of course I will show bias towards specific kinds of cars, but that won’t stop me from at least trying others.
Also, I will be using Beam.NG Drive exporter for your cars (Specifically for the driving elements), so I highly recommend that you test your car in Beam first. If you do not have Beam, please tell me when you submit and try to do your best with the info that Automation gives you.
Regarding rules, here’s the main one;
Try to be at least somewhat serious and put some effort in the car.
Besides that, as long as you use common sense you should be fine. Yes, there are no technical restrictions to entering a car, they can be from any decade (1946 to future concepts), any size, any shape, any amount of performance. BUT (And I cannot stress this enough) please put some effort into your car and have it be somewhat reasonable for this series and context in mind.
Please feel free to DM me the car with this topic linked if you wish for me to review it, I will tell you if the car has some major flaws regarding reasonability, but I will only warn you once. After that, its fair game. Also, I may decline to review your car because either:
- It doesn’t follow the one damn rule
- You put absolutely to minimal effort into it, so I can’t really talk a lot about it
- I just don’t find it interesting enough because I’m an ass
- Something else
There isn’t really any lore other than the following:
- I am reviewing, not a fictional character
- I am in Italy (Okay I’m not REALLY there but just pretend I am) and lore-wise am receiving these cars for reviewing in Italy for driving around Italy (Beam’s Italy map should be good enough, I figure).
- This takes place in the current time, but I am willing to review any age car
- I am suspecting sportier cars but I may be surprised, that’s up to you
- This is pretty much real life according to my knowledge, so your cars will be compared to real cars.
- No, your car doesn’t have to be Italian, but it helps.
I personally review in the following format;
- I will state my “first impressions” of the car regarding the styling, engineering, experience obtaining it and general feel of the car.
- I will go on a short test drive through the village/city and see if I like how it is so far, if I don’t then I will not go past this point
- I will drive along the faster roads of Italy and try to push the car to its limits.
- If I LOVE it, I will do some more creative writing about it in a non-sensey way, to conclude the review.
Now, a few things to note, regarding this. Firstly, I really need to emphasize that I have no idea what I’m doing and as such I will probably say something fucking stupid at one point or another. Second, (And this has to do with the first part) I am using a simple XBone gamepad for NYOOMing around in Beam, so as such I cannot deliver as accurate information regarding driving as I would like to. That being said, I’m an eh driver so I will try not to be an utter dumbass with your car (Unless, you know, its fun as hell to do so).
No, sadly. I will be posting a “test” review later on of one of my own cars (hint; its small, modern and looks Italian!) to show what this will in entail (hopefully this week but keep in mind that I can fall into chasms of procrastination except I don’t have strop’s excuse of being good at this.
Also, quick note, I will be using stable branch for all of this, for the sake of compatibility/predictability. So please make sure your car works for the current stable branch!
Thanks for reading, we’ll see how much of a mess this is!