People sure did bring their A-game! not making my life easy at all.
In other words, it’s a fancier portmanteau of Turner-Bolland.
JOC2A REVIEWS PART 2 - FINALS
Kenneth was in a foul mood when he got to the first dealership, Trident.
His father was still getting tested, they were not sure what was the issue yet, that infuriated him.
Then his current girlfriend left him. He really needs a new car.
Good thing that Mitch scheduled the 7 test drives for today. He could not be here, but Kenneth will meet in when he’s done.
Hopefully this ordeal will put him in a good mood.
TEST DRIVE
in no particular order
Trident Arrowhead @DrPepper2002
Kenneth got into the Arrowhead. Luxury interior, good stitching. Top quality AM radio, two smaller seats in the back - that can come him handy he thought.
It was comfortable, much much more than his chevy, he’ll have to compare to the others tho.
Kenneth put his hand on the stick, turned on the engine and engaged the 4-speed.
WOAH!
He grabbed the wheel hard. That thing goes. The salesman with him looked at him severely - ok ok, he’ll slow down.
They were in Oak Park so he probably got on the 20, promptly cutting a corner very sharp - the Trident followed along. Did not even blinked. This thing handles.
Drive is good overall, the mouthy passenger talked about the medium compound ties, open differential, independent front and rear suspension… that meant nothing to Kenneth. He was having fun.
As Mitch said, this thing could go 'round a track quickly. And he’s no expert. Still had to not push it too much.
When he got back to the dealer, he looked at the sheet Mitch prepared - Very high service cost, average reliability, top class safety. The price is good, well below his budget.
Ok, this is gonna be a great day! On to the next car.
Armor Sunburst @GassTiresandOil
The Armor Sunburst in all it’s glory. He still liked the styling, could have been another pastel color but oh well, did not detract for the stylish trim.
It seemed similar in length to the Trident but was obviously much more imposing. Another 4-speed, and this one has a solid axle behind, or so says Mitch’s notes.
He got in and saw the different right away. The interior was only premium, but it had 4 full seats, was much roomier, and had a newfangle Phonograph - wow, that is so prestigious. It seems higher quality than the Trident and felt much more comfortable despite being less luxurious.
Then he left the dealership behind him. Speed-wise, it seems as fast as the Trident really, but feels a bit more sluggish at high speed. The salesman gave him the stinkeyes as he changed lane to take a corner. Not as sporty as the Trident, but drives well otherwise. Surprising that they are as fast tho - would that be because of the axle-thingy?
One thing he knew right away - turning the wheel was much much easier than he’s used to. “Power steering” said the nervous passenger. That is brand new on the market. This is a high tech machine.
Overall, good experience. Feel more prestigious, more comfortable, as fast, also much cheaper to maintain according to Micth, and very reliable. However, he looked at the fuel gauge as he got out of the car - wow, this thing drinks.
This is turning out to be a fun day… but it won’t be easy for him.
Benetsch Buhrie SKA @Texaslav
Ahh, the not-really-an-american-car-but-looks-like-one Benetsch. Looks splendid in person, very luxurious chrome trims.
A bit bigger than the Armor, it has a huge V8 in there. Kenneth felt it rumble as soon as he started it. Another 4-speed, the interior was very similar to the Armor, but without the Phonograph, just a pedestrian AM radio, bummer.
However, this was not your typical american car - the engine was in the back. That is weird, thought Kenneth. And it showed as soon as he got out of the dealer’s parking.
“THIS IS A BOMB!” he screamed, internally. The salesman jumped, maybe he heard him or was it the sidewalk he narrowly missed?
He needs to be careful because the rear seems to he harder to control, especially at lower speed. About as agile as the Armor, it is fast in a straight line for sure.
This one has prestige on its side - this is a big performance package. However his mechanic said it was one of the priciest to maintain, but has the most safety equipment. The high price and high fuel consumption is not helping.
He needs more. MORE!
Floyd Motor Co (FMC) Sabre Six @Lanson
The FMC looked as good in person as it did in that photo.
Very similar in size than the Trident, same smaller seats behind, luxurious interior but of higher quality than the Trident.
Feels like the Trident at firstm but when pushing it … it still felt very similar. Surprisingly, it feels less comfortable.
Most likely the suspension tuning said the salesman. He’ll have to learn about cars a bit better at some point, seems complicated.
It is sporty tho, same as the Benetsch but a bit easier to handle since the motor is in the right place. Mitch said this one has limited slip diff… not sure what it is, but he felt the wheel were not “as slippery”.
The engine here was much smaller, and it did not felt as fancy as the Benetsch. Still, the fact is was so uncomfortable was worrisome. Maintenance costs were average according to Mitch, but not a ton of safety options.
At least the price was right, but the cars all seems to blur for Kenneth at this point.
Turból Caelus @donutsnail
Now the not-american-car-that-was-really-made-here Turból! The name comes from Turner and Bolland and was European-ized it seems.
It still looked gorgeous tho. That pastel color was perfect for Kenneth. He also felt right at home as soon as he got in.
It feels even more comfortable than the Armor. Surprising, because when you look at it, it felt more premium than luxurious! 2 seats only in there, but that was enough for him.
It was a bit smaller than the other he tested today. Surprisingly, it only has a 3-speed, much less than competition, and much less horsepower as well.
It was probably too good to be true… but wait, Kenneth started it, then 239 engine roars and…
Sputtering. Well, not literally. It was far from being as fast as the other. Acceleration was slow… well, maybe not compared to his Chevy, but nothing like the Benetsch. Mitch warned him.
Surprisingly, it felt sportier than the Armor still, despite being slower. However, it was smooth as silk, the drive in the city was effortless.
Ok, that was actually different. He was not sure what to think yet, but Mitch noted one thing for the Caelus - CHEAP!
Fanella Rimini Speedster @ChFlash
The speedster looked good in person. This looks classy, and will be fun to drive around with no top.
The interior was very similar to the last one, two seater premium, but a bit less quality-made. The engine was quite beefy on this one, a very modern engine as well.
When he turned the ignition, he knew this one would be special. It felt more comfortable than the Turból and has more power… only to not deliver at all. Barely faster, it felt a slug at high speed, even worse than the Armor. It drove rather well a normal speeds tho, but it was not enough to make it fun.
It could not even turn properly, had to take long wide turns. It was so promising. Looking at Mitch’s notes, he was not sure why he had high expectations - Costly to maintain, worst reliability, worse than average economy.
Yeah, the test drive really confirmed what he initially thought about it.
Mons Celer mk1 GT-R @cake_ape
What a day. A long one.
He got to a Mons dealership last. Nice machine, it looked good in person, but the shape was still not as classic or sleek as he’d like.
Everything changed when Kenneth got inside tho. Very luxurious and super high quality, it did lack the Armor’s Phonograph, but it was much, much more comfortable, even the 2 small seats behind looked very comfortable.
The engine did not have a ton of power compared to the others, but it handled like a mix between the Trident and Armor… but without the speed. About as fast as the Fanella. A bit disapointing.
Still, it drive as good as the speedster did, was much more agile around the corner, on par with the Trident.
According to his mechanic, this is an all-rounder in most category, a good middle ground maybe to settle on? He’ll have to debrief.
Kenneth met Mitch at his garage. He had a big smile on his face.
“How did it go?” asked Mitch.
“Wow, it was fun! Not sure the salesmen did have as much fun as me tho” laughed Kenneth. “I think I even started to understand some of the technicalities like the power slip diff and limited steering!”
Mitch shrugged. They debrief for about an hour. The more Kenneth talked, the more he realize pure performance is not the top criteria here - he’s in Chicago and he will rarely go on the open road. As a pilot, he won’t have a ton of time at home anyway. But the speed is invigorating and pretty prestigious…
That was a hard dilemma for him.
Finally, he decided what he was going to do...
Satisified with his choice, Kenneth said goodbye and paid Mitch, got his coat on and took his Chevy to the … Turból dealership!! As Kenneth signed the paperwork for the Caelus, he remembered he should call his mother after and get some news… but that will be a concern for another day as he’ll soon be the owner of a cheap but stylish Turból!!!
It was the best looking, the most drivable and the cheapest of the lot, and comfort/prestige was good enough despite the low performance numbers. All secondary stats were stellar as well, a very strong entry!
Here is the final ranking
@donutsnail
@Texaslav
@cake_ape
@DrPepper2002
@GassTiresandOil
@Lanson
@Ch_Flash
@ChemaTheMexican
@Knugcab
@Bbestdu28
@voiddoesnotknow
Congrats to the winner and thanks to everyone that participated
OOC: Sorry to the finalists, I took low quality pic of the cars inadvertently and I am currently too tired to retake them, I will update the photos tomorrow.
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While I would be interested in hosting, I will not have access to my PC until Sunday, so I will pass down to keep the ball rolling.
I have grad school admissions, so nah. Congrats to you, rights go to @cake_ape (and probably further down because cake’s running LHC)
Yep, I am also out because LHC. So… @DrPepper2002 ?
PS: good luck Texas! This is a good time to invest in a caffeine IV delivery system 
It’s called a half-broken Mr. Coffee, amigo.
Alas i cannot host either as i have not done it before and have work commitments so i dont believe i could do it justice. @GassTiresandOil can you take the reigns?
He’s already hosting QFC13, so I’m afraid it’s an unlikely prospect.
Correct, for now. We could also pause or do a “free build” round, or something to just coast through the holidays which usually screw up schedules.
I think it would be fun to take these cars and “soup 'em up” for racing and see if we can create some carnage in Beam.
Well, if Chema can’t host either, at least I can.
just a question, but why am i ranked last?
Sorry, I have to pass on this one, still have a lot to learn before I can host a challenge in a good way.
Up to you @ChemaTheMexican then! If not, Knugcab will be our gracious host for the next segment of Kenneth’s life.
Well, one wild guess, your car didn’t really get a favourable review, I guess the reasons are all written in that one? Sorry if I sound like an ass but I don’t really think that a host should need to explain him/herself more than that.
Also, sorry @Ch_Flash for somehow missing out on you there…
Every challenge (pretty much) is judged using a spreadsheet - except LHC and other ‘showcase/flavor text’ ones, which is why they’re easier to turn around. In this challenge, it was simply a matter of you getting the lowest ‘score’ in that spreadsheet when everything was said and done. The reasons for that - or, translated into spreadsheet language, the areas where you scored low - are in your Round 1 elimination text, as Knugcab said.
In case anyone is wondering - yes I will host. However, I have some interesting ideas on how to handle techpool that I need to check out more in depth first.
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