Hello Bin, my old friend. Haven’t seen you in a while.
2 Likes
Phew, made it past the binning. Bring on last place!
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You’re competing with me, so don’t get your hopes up!
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Painful. Your assumption of me missing that tire rule is acutally totally correct.
Just another competition ruined by Techpool IMO
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PART 1: LIGHT READING
The first article that caught Magda’s interest was in AutoTechnik, a magazine specializing in covering automotive innovation. It covers three brand-new car models with a particular drivetrain advancement.
AutoTechnik - Family Front-Drivers
SUMA M303 @Banana_Soule; Otari 105 Estate @Ch_Flash; Averly 110 @Petakabras
In the past several years, manufacturers have been warming to the idea of routing power to the front, steered axle of an automobile. While it is slightly more mechanically complicated and requires tighter tolerances, it also provides tangible benefits to handling and control, allowing for safer moving from a stop and preventing sudden losses of rear-axle traction, that cause spin-outs. Even better, front-engined and front-drive cars can achieve the flattest floors in the industry, appeasing rear legroom and cargo space.
SUMA’s midsize family car, the M303, uses its unique automatic transmission to re-route power from its 1.35-liter engine back to the front wheels. It is the smallest vehicle to offer a full automatic in this sector, which is praiseworthy; moreover, so confident are SUMA’s engineers of their powerplant that they trust it to rev as far as friction will allow, with no recommended maximum revs. The transmission has been reported to not be quite as robust, and is one of several sources for the vehicle’s high servicing costs. On the plus side, the car does fit five relatively well-fed adults in something approaching comfort. In conclusion, it’s not at all a bad imitation of the American cars it very obviously strives to emulate, and the front-drive system plays to enhance its strengths.
(The SUMA is a good car, but just underoptimized from an engineering standpoint. In a more relaxed field, it might have at least reached the finals; as it stands, subpar reliability really brings it down.)
The Otari 105 Estate solves the front-drive problem more radically: The entire engine is rotated 90 degrees from a conventional position, leaving the transmission pre-aligned with the direction of the axle shafts. This saves space, but also makes this compact estate rather atrocious to work on; one would rather get drenched in the SUMA’s whale-sourced transmission fluid. An excessive price for the segment, the lack of a factory radio option currently on sale, and a poorly-tuned and geared (read: stiff, hungry, loud and torque-starved) engine all prevent us from recommending this particular car to anybody, but the transverse engine concept could definitely improve car design if properly applied in a different vehicle.
(If the SUMA is somewhat underoptimized, the Otari feels like an actual first draft. The front transverse through techpool was kind of an intentional cost trap, I admit, but this car really could have been better if, for example, the pushrod engine wasn’t tuned for a 6000 RPM power peak.)
The Averly 110 family hatchback lacks the clever engine placement of the Otari or the automatic shifter of the SUMA, but it makes up for it by offering the best brake balance and steering feel in any mass market car out today. The engineers at Averly have clearly poured great effort into matching the drivetrain, the suspension, and the brakes - so the car is comfortable and effortless to drive while avoiding the pitfalls of offering technology that segment buyers would be unable to maintain - or tanking fuel economy. All this does come at a price tag similar to the Otari, however - and that’s despite only offering a 3-cylinder engine.
(This one’s very expensive but also very good; the most drivable thing in the whole competition, and making it a proper hatch was clever too.)
After reviewing some specifications in the magazine’s catalogue in the back, Magda decides to keep the Averly in mind and the Otari far our of mind. That hatch is the only car of this crop that doesn’t scream ‘unproven tech’.
Where AutoTechnik is scientific yet still decently accessible, Silberpfeile - named after a concept in German racing lore - looks like it’s a headache waiting to happen by its very much not silver color scheme. Nevertheless, Magda figures that hot-headed enthusiasts could know something she very much doesn’t.
Silberpfeile - Excitement on a Budget
Swanson 112B @Ludvig; Knightwick k40 @mart1n2005; Hemsley Comet @xsneakyxsimx
What happens when the need for automotive excitement hits you… before any sort of wealth does? You go for one of these. Vehicles clearly developed by engineers with only enthusiast bones in their body, but for a wider, meaner crowd.
The Swanson 112B seems like an inauspicious start; in this review, it’s the slowest, and it’s made in Canada of all places. However, the manufacturer specializes in engine building - including for airplanes, and the suspension engineers insisted on an advanced yet robust independent system featuring semi-trailing arms in the rear. The car itself isn’t even all that cheap at [AM$8470], but it seats 4 in decent comfort, handles very well, is reliable and robust, and the Swanson supply network practically gives away parts with their lower prices. AND you get a twin-choke carburetor.
(I really wanted this car to do well because aerospace stuff is cool - and for what it’s worth, it’s pretty far up in the ranking. Some more engine balancing and drivability optimization (less rear brake force? you could claw like 2, 3 drv from that alone) would have seen it in the finals, maybe even in the lead)
However, we all know that whereas the best sports cars overall are German, the best cheap ones are made over in England. The Knightwick k40, made in Birmingham, is the perfect little dart - featuring an open top with a detachable rag for rain, dominant cornering and braking performance, and almost 140 km/h of available speed. That being said, while it might be the most capable car for the price, it’s also a handful and a half to actually control, and - being British - isn’t the most reliable.
(Looks cool, doesn’t work. Looks and performance are the high points of the k40, but being neither cheap nor reliable, it develops a deficiency of core priorities it just can’t overcome.)
The Hemsley Comet isn’t as compliant as the Swanson and nor is it as brilliant as the Knightwick - but it is fast. The big-bore 2.2 engine might only spin to a bit over 4000 RPM, but it is still enough for around 58 horsepower and 130 Nm of torque, the latter figure over double that of the Knightwick. It’s also cheapest of the three by some margin, and pretty big and spacious. Feels like a smaller version of a vulgar American car, but at the price? It’ll do.
(The Comet would have benefited greatly from some fine-tuning. 0 cam 2.2 engine? Really?)
Well, guess the boys’ favorite mag comes up short on cars that actually make sense. All three cars seem too poor on content and rich in flash for Magda’s purposes.
Next was a dry and drab magazine with eyes only for utility. Consumer Advice… With an article on the absolute bottom of the barrel.
Consumer Advice DE - Cheapest New Cars
Mara Kamerad 1.3 SKE @AndiD; Kessel Kaffee @GassTiresandOil; KHI 1325 Citi @doot
A devoted CA reader will not be surprised to see the Kamerad on this list. While technically still sold new, this model has been in production for over a decade now, kept alive by its rock-bottom price at [AM$5880]. It still offers decent amenities and is easy to control - that said, there isn’t much to control, given the anemic brakes, nonexistent tire grip and middling acceleration. The sole sophisticated thing about the engine is the fuel-saving carburetor, but it does its job at the very least. Overall, the Kamerad remains the same: a car the doesn’t die solely out of spite for you wanting it to. Unless you crash it, that is. Then you’re both done.
(This car was always going to go to the finals. That price is insane. And that was a good job getting a good drivability score while having some of the most scarily low grip limits I’ve seen out of a challenge submission.)
The second car on review is the Kessel Kaffee, which is brand-new. It’s the cheapest properly-midsized family car, with room for four adults. The car exhibits a very “measure twice, cut once” approach: power is provided by a three-cylinder engine with equivalent displacement to the Mara and more power, and sent to the front. The car really doesn’t put a foot wrong anywhere; though the larger body means more weight and thus less economy than the Mara, it trounces it in all other areas - and is still sold for [AM$6990]. Most importantly, it actually handles more or less.
(This is a great all-rounder. Sufficient power, drivability, reliability, comfort. Goes to the finals.)
The KHI 1325 Citi is just as cheap as the Kamerad and new for this year - but it mostly illustrates how at its exact bottom price point, the Mara is still viable. The 1325 only has 2 seats - which can be fine for some people, but obviously limits its appeal. Dynamically, it’s just as hapless as the Mara, being even slower, less economical and more expensive to repair. Crash integrity is much closer to modern vehicles, though, which is a plus. But it could have been a mainstream product - and it just isn’t.
(Well, it’s a good attempt, for what it’s worth. Problem is, it’s overshadowed by the Mara in most areas, while exhibiting the exact same performance deficiencies.)
While Magda isn’t thrilled at the prospect of buying a Red car, but the Mara does sound solid if even the objective mag thinks it’s too business-like. And then there’s the Kessel, which - for once - appears to be an actual midsize product and not a povo-spec hand-me-down.
Last mag, last relevant article. The bloke-ish Fourth Gear is colorful but more tasteful and philosophical than the Silver Arrows mag, as evidenced by their nuanced take on automotive beauty.
Fourth Gear DE - Affordable Lookers
Aérovol T1 @ChemaTheMexican; Niccolò Stellina @GetWrekt01; IP Lily @Knugcab
While mass production does occasionally force manufacturers into simpler shapes, all in all there’s not much reason for a cheaper car to look ugly or bland. A well-designed interior can give such a car some much-needed character.
Unfortunately for the Aérovol T1, character and looks do not “covereth a multitude of sins”. This car isn’t very cheap for its size and class, but it still manages to be unreliable, difficult to drive, expensive to maintain and unsafe at any speed. Yes, it is the prettiest compact on the market and the sliding top rag is nice, but is it worth having a worse car than a Mara for much more dosh? Probably not.
(It’s an excellent-looking car; I legit gave it top marks; however, the engineering is so fourth-rate that it ended up stone dead last in the rankings. You got a 2-speed gearbox, you got a tiny wheelbase and body, you got nightmare svc for the segment and I’m not even sure why.)
What character does do is enhance the appeal of a car that’s already good. The Niccolò Stellina 1200 is absurdly nippy for the segment, with its stubby hatchback-like body (which it is not; it’s a 2-seater shooting brake) weighing nothing and its simple one-choke engine doing… enough. It accelerates faster than some small British sports cars, and is more reliable than any of them.
(Okay, this thing’s a damned meme, but it’s a good meme. Rear-drive tiny city sports hatch, looks like a mini but performs more like what that roadster should have done. It’s going to the finals, and we’ll see if it hangs.)
Character in design can also make a car that’s good but boring be… a bit less boring. The IP Lily uses this technique very well: It’s an all round good - if somewhat easy to rust - car, but the neat trim placement, hood ornament and tinted vinyl roof all work to elevate it from just boring and practical to something more… cute.
(The IP Lily is likewise worthy of the finals. It’s entirely utilitarian and a bit too expensive at that, but low svc, good reliability and smooth if not blistering performance keep it in the game. And it is damned adorable!)
Magda is surprised at how useful the look at the enthusiast mag was. The writer of the article clearly emphasized with the fact that a car needed both appeal and value to be viable, and she got two extra options - the Niccolò and the IP - out of it.
Finalists:
@Petakabras
@AndiD
@GassTiresandOil
@GetWrekt01
@Knugcab
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Hey, how else is half of an American/Gasmean V8 meant to get anywhere close to Euro fuel consumption without giving in to communist wizardry? 
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Hm, didn’t go as poorly as expected. Can’t say I’m particularly surprised Mara locked down the budget field.
PART 2: AT THE HELM
After finishing up with her last clients on Friday, Magda made a (leisurely, tram-powered) beeline to the Mara dealership. It was the last one to close on weekdays, allowing her to just waltz in in the evening and take a good look at her bottom line - the dirt-cheap and supposedly reputable Kamerad.
Mara Kamerad 1.3 SKE @AndiD
The dealership was no-frills, but the personnel were pleasant as if to compensate. The salesman masked his suspicion of the single, independent freelancer with politeness and typical salesman-talk, and even released the car for a test drive. Magda was surprised by just how featureless the thing was: the only things that stuck out were whatever was uneconomical to hide, such as the bulky external door hinges. On the drive, there was a plethora of things to be disappointed yet not surprised by. Brakes that didn’t really do much and got even slightly more mushy with Magda’s novice driving, a bouncy ride, and tires that were so unsticky that at one point during the test drive, the Mara drove over a dead pidgeon because when Magda jerked the steering wheel to swerve to the right, the tires elected to just momentarily lose contact with the road and regain it when the steering wheel returned to rest.
But there was a radio, if not very strong, and the car, well… worked. And it was weirdly reassuring to have 4 forward gears, all working well in the city due to even the top one being short. Lackluster as the Mara was, a car it still remained. And at its price point? Well, if the other cars would not offer much, then Magda would spring for it.
That being said, Magda would have to sleep on her thoughts and see if she still felt the same way after her stack of four more ‘pricy’ car tests tomorrow.
Kessel Kaffee @GassTiresandOil
Wake up. Grab a brush and put a little make-up. Morning tram. Kessel dealer. Magda felt that she’d be better off finishing off all her previews that Saturday so that she could make the actual purchase the next day.
The Kessel dealership, was new and clean - in line with Magda’s expectations of a company which was very much trying to make a “breakout” product. That being said, the car she’d come to see - the Kaffee (god, even the name is all chic) - looked like they broke a fridge to make it, what with the salad-green paint everywhere and the unusually stubby chrome side strips. That didn’t detract from the (very much dealer-advertised) fact that the vehicle was, inside and out, much larger than the Mara. The seats - comfier, the door panels - thicker. If the Mara represented “A CAR”, then the Kessel represented “AN ACTUAL CAR”.
The feeling was similar on the road - though this time with some narration from a slightly cocky salesman who insisted on staying in the passenger seat. Better brakes, better (and bigger!) tires, similar acceleration to the Mara in spite of being heavier and not that far up on power. With the front wheels driven, steering and traction confidence was very nice. While Magda did keep in mind that this car was up on the pricing hierarchy compared to the Mara, it was also just better. Sure, some sacrifices did happen like a lower economy due to the extra heft, but it was so much more of a car.
Niccolò Stellina 1200 Desio - @GetWrekt01
By the time Magda gets to the Niccolò dealer, it was 10:30. She might need a lunch break at this rate. Not that the guilty-pleasure two-seat runabout she was checking out wasn’t enough of a snack…
But still, salad green! What’s with this color and cheap chic cars? Either way, the leather upholstery made the Stellina feel like a palace even compared to the larger Kaffee. There’s a sunroof, as well - very nice indeed. Having been begrudgingly handed the keys, Magda recognized what the people in that Fourth Gear mag were on about: ‘nippy’ it was. Great acceleration, brakes and everything - and the dealer personnel’s assurance that the car would beat just about anything in an economy contest was also a pleasant surprise.
There were unpleasant surprises, though, too. The setup was one of a stubby sedan, and the rear brakes were so grabby that Magda actually almost slipped in the dry a couple of times; in addition, the quirky Italian was the only 2-seater she was still considering, and it was clear that the focus for the car was simply “be as sporty as possible without becoming pointless” rather than “be a proper small car”. She also hearkened back to some supplementary owner reviews she’d found in a newspaper that claimed that while the Stellina was not quick to break down, it tended to be more expensive to repair and service.
Magda realized that what she just took part in was more a joyride than a test drive. Magda lamented that the little car wasn’t presently being offered in a more “normal” package, because it did seem to be put together very well indeed.
IP Lily 1000 DeLuxe @Knugcab
After a quick lunch at a bistro, Magda hurried over to the IP dealership. She was actually looking forward to this one.
The Lily was perhaps even more gorgeous in person than in the magazine photos. A teasing, naughty candy red paintjob complemented the overall flashy, enticing design, complete with trim, ornaments and all - appearing to be almost like a Cadillac, but shrunken by a factor of 3 lengthwise and 2 in the other dimensions.
However, issues did start to spring up inside - because while the Lily did look good there and give off a quality feel besides, it was also not much more roomy or comfortable than the Mara, despite costing much more. And the problems kept on mounting when Magda set off and noticed it was no quicker, either. The Lily had a seriously gutless 1-liter engine with a short-ratio gearbox to make up for its sluggishness - which meant the Lily could never be quiet. The handling was more sure-footed than the Stellina, but not nearly as good as the Kessel. And it was a sad thing, too, as Magda had really though that the Lily and her made a good pairing. She was half-considering buying it regardless for the undoubtedly good impression she’d make on customers, but her present-day wallet would hurt if she did that. After handing the keys back to the salesperson, Magda headed, a bit downcast, to her final destination: the Averly dealership.
Averly 900 @Petakabras
Like the Lily, the Averly looks even better in person than it does in a magazine. It’s a subdued, businesslike pontoon shape, and Magda is impressed at the striking front fascia. The form-factor proposition is impressive: It’s like taking a Stellina and adding an extra row of seats to it with no serious, crippling downside.
However, something that does cripple Magda’s brain briefly is that the shifter has four forward positions… Whilst the car only has three forward gears, as she discovers as she experimentally rows the gears while stopped. The flustered salesperson assures her that the car probably just had the wrong shift know installed - while all she can think about is how it’s weird that the most expensive car out of all the ones she’s considering - and the one touted for its technological advancement - doesn’t even have a fourth gear. Setting off, the frustration mounts as Magda discovers that the 900cc engine is, in fact, absolutely glacial. On some weird level, she feels safer and more in control knowing that this car - which makes the Mara seem brisk - will probably never go fast enough to kill her. Otherwise, it’s as advertised - the grip is more than enough, the front-drive layout gives the ride a lot of confidence, and so on. But it’s just… Magda’s come out all the way to this part of town to see the Averly, and she’s thinking she would have been better off going for a beer.
5th Place - Averly 900
Back home, Magda mulls over her experiences. It’s been a long day, and she now knows for a fact that she wants a car of some sort to never spend as much time in idle transit again. Well, maybe a car that isn’t the Averly 900 - which is just too expensive and yet featureless to make the cut.
(I liked the look of the Averly, and I was impressed by that drivability stat - but the car maxes out the budget with precious little else to show, with average reliability and comfort and an engine so tiny it actually loses fuel economy compared to if it were just a bit bigger. The three-speed, likewise, did not help matters, resulting in a vehicle that would get outrun to 60 mph by Aging Wheels’s currently-decades-old Trabant.)
4th Place - Mara Kamerad 1.3 SKE
That being said, speaking of expenses, Magda also thinks that the Mara Kamerad is actually too shoestring for her. It looks like a car version of a washed-up tramp and couldn’t dodge roadkill or brake to stop in front of it. Apart from the ludicrous price and cheap service costs, it’s got nothing going for it.
(This car is honestly kind of a minmax. Price was the goal, and it didn’t help that Automation doesn’t consider a total absence of tire grip a drivability penalty - leading to an entry that has above 50 drivability all while taking an abysmal, unacceptable, unthinkable 180 feet to stop from 60. It’s only in the finals because I appreciate the effort that went into all that cost-cutting, but it stops here.)
The other three are a closer run: The Kessel Kaffee impresses with its competence and size at the price point, whereas the two more expensive of the remaining cars - the IP Lily and the Niccolò Stellina - both stand out for different reasons, with the IP being a competent if under-optimized all-rounder and the Stellina being the standout luxury fireball with no wheelbase, no backseat and no fuel consumption - if only it drove better.
3rd Place - Niccolò Stellina 1200 Desio
Magda can’t take the Stellina on for this reason: it’s a toy. A delightfully fun one, but one that doesn’t take into account the Magda is a free spirit, not a carefree one. Whereas it does better than the rest of the roster as a fun car, which is why it’s up here, it’s not as good as just a car.
(Three hurrahs for the engineering on this entry - making a single-barrel non-ecocarb achieve both power and economy this good is pretty wizard. The problem here was that between bad drivability, bad svc and bad practicality, it was brought down to a level where the second-place car came up to its level in “objective” level and punched it out with design.)
2nd Place - IP Lily 1000 DeLuxe
Magda kind of wants to hold a moment of silence for that Lily. It’s such a nice little car, pretty as can be and generally solid on most points. Sure, the driving performance isn’t amazing, but it’s more forgiving and friendly than the Stellina, and it has a rear bench - which is just flexible, dammit. It’s really everything you need - just not as good as the literal (by size) elephant in the room.
(This car really won me over for a while in judging, but tinkering around with a copy I found that there were many areas where it just wasn’t optimized enough. I mean, hell, the ‘gutless’ thing can be remedied almost entirely by just fixing the flow characteristics on the engine, namely by restricting the intake a bit more for low-end torque. Reliability, economy - all of those could have been better at the same price. Still, congrats on 2nd place and a really awesome design!)
1st Place - Kessel Kaffee
Magda might not be thrilled by the looks of the Kaffee, or the fact that it’s less reliable or economical than much of the competition. But it’s big, powerful, modern, easily-controllable, and even relatively safe - all at a lower price than anything here apart from the Mara. The engine, despite having just 3 cylinders, behaves very well, there’s a modern FWD 4-speed transaxle. There’s plenty of space for her equipment,and it’s comfy. The Kessel Kaffee is a real car for monopoly money, and Magda will damn certainly take the offer - though she is going to ask if they have a red one.
(This, too, has areas where it could have been easily improved for no price or minimum, but with the sticker as low as it is, it isn’t much of an issue. The car wins for a pretty simple reason: It alone grabbed a very good price point at which it could still be competitive with the big boys, while still having that massive price leg up on them.)
Final Rankings:
- @GassTiresandOil
- @Knugcab
- @GetWrekt01
- @AndiD
- @Petakabras
- @doot
- @Ludvig
- @xsneakyxsimx
- @Banana_Soule
- @Ch_Flash
- @mart1n2005
- @ChemaTheMexican
Fun facts and comp spreadsheet coming soon.
10 Likes
I think that’s the best I’ve ever placed in something like this, so I’ll take it.
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Thanks @Texaslav for the win! This was a really fun round. I actually have an idea for next round, but I haven’t hosted a challenge in a long time. Let me build a couple comps and I’ll post the next round in a couple days.
By the way, how old is Magda in 1958?
Also… of course the Kaffee comes in Red (two shades, Bright Red and Metallic Maroon). Lol I thought Mint Ass Green would be the cat’s meow in 1958 for some weird reason.
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First podium in a while. Appreciate the detailed reviews. I’m happy about where Stellina stands because that’s pretty much what I had in mind when designing the car. If I really wanted that drivability and lesser svc costs, I’d go for FWD and a smaller engine. But yeah, this was just a fun competition to finally get an Italian brand going. Cheers broski
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- And it’d be real nice if you could include a candy-ass bright red Kaffee into the next round’s prologue. In general, if you need any character pointers at all, just DM me I guess
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I liked the Kessel, it felt a little bit like the body from Taunus 17M paired with the engineering from Taunus 12M (albeit a V4 is of course impossible in the game).
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Ok, so work just hammered me. I won’t have enough time to devote to the next round, so I’ll have to pass it on to @Knugcab . If you need an idea for next round, I had one that was pretty historically focused. Otherwise, can’t wait to see what you come up with!
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I feel that I need a rest from hosting after ARM and until LAC, I will probably not have motivation to do a round as good as I would want to, so I’ll pass it to @GetWrekt01 .
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Oh boy, this is interesting. I barely have time for myself after work and studies these days… But I think I’ll be able to do it. Give me a few days to get the initial write-up going.
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The Kessel already looked like the perfect car for the job, and its a pleasure to see the rest of the car proved to be equally well-made
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I just want everyone to know that JOC3B (and while we’re at it, TMCC27 as well) is under construction.
They were being held up by the fact that I was working three 12-hour shifts at the Australian Grand Prix but now that that’s over, and my feet are understandably fucked after standing up and walking for that long, it should be up in a day or two… three max?
It was a fun experience, probably the most memorable one being physically bumping into Charles Leclerc in the male toilet under the Paddock Club, followed by Magnussen pissing on the Urinal and someone taking a picture of him, so he goes “Mate my cock’s not that big”
Edit: I have decided to not release JOC3B till at least the current QFC has finished. The forum is quite saturated with challenges at the time, and piling another challenge on top is just asking to cannibalize participation on either ends.
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So GetWrekt01, how’s is this coming along? Seems that it’s been forgotten about.
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