Journey of Ownership 6C: Peace Out (JOC6C) [JUDGING IN PROGRESS]

The 1975 VMC EuroBus.

Our new MPV is ready to take you where ever life takes you.
We seat 6 passengers still have a large rear cargo area.
A 210 Cubic Inch V6 and 4x4 LSD system makes this a solid choice for your family needs.
Advanced driving lights are standard to make getting in and out of the car easier and making you visible to traffic.





Specs
2625LBS
141HP
189FT-LBS
14MPG
topspeed of over 100MPH!*
0-62MPH in under 11 seconds**

Come to your local VMC dealer and pick one up well dressed for under $20,000.

*actual top speed is 101MPH
** actual 0-62 is 10.9 seconds

VMC think of us for your automotive needs.

5 Likes

SUMA M431 “Bisagra Sheriff”

Originally a concept for a midibus from SUMA Heavy, it was reworked and scaled down into a small van featuring a newer front-wheel-drive layout that could carry several people in addition to a respectable payload. The Sheriff package included additional undertray cladding, large all-terrain tires, and a vacuum-powered locking mechanism in the transaxle for performance in rugged terrain.


With a capacity of 7, included roof cargo hardware package, and remarkably robust design, the Bisagra seen here doesn’t compromise, with a plush, well-padded, safety-enhanced interior, and an assisted steering system, it still won’t break your bank, thanks to a fuel efficient engine and ease of service.

10 Likes

Last call: anyone scrambling to finish something last-minute? Speak up, or else submissions close “today”.

I have complete submissions from:
@Happyhungryhippo
@GassTiresandOil
@hilbert
@Dog959
@the-chowi
@mart1n2005 and @bdub1
@Knugcab
@vento
@donutsnail
@ch_flash
@oldmanbuick
@phirmeggplant
@Banana_Soule
@Chaedder

Ad but no .car:
nobody

.car but no ad:
@toxicnet

Rumors:
@supersaturn77

3 Likes

HELLO

JOC6C_-chaedder-_clementine_ambergris.car|attachment (109.8 KB)
(more pictures soon)

yeah so i unsported the joop




he uses not a lot of diesel to go not very fast, but he will probably go just about anywhere you point him
7 Likes
Economy, anywhere

The unforgiving landscape of a winterland without the blessing of purely smooth roads is not where you may expect to see a KP-AW. But the 107W with a 4x4 drivetrain is hardly ill-suited to the landscape. Fully independent suspension, now featuring a robust, off-road ready configuration, and all-surface tires help make the journey easy.

Jealous? There is no need to be upset. With daringly low prices for what is offered, a 107W may be your new best friend without the fuss of making a good impression.

Vielleicht solltest du fahren.
© 1975 Kronprinzen-Autowerkstatt
11 Likes

With one exception by prior arrangement, submissions are hereby closed.

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1975 Centurion L310

10 Likes

Fredliner - Bull


Bull is an offroad vehicle made by fredliner it can be equiped with diesel inline 6, inline 5 or V8 engine
This Bull have diesel 2.6L unit making 110hp and 228Nm

Bull Family

Bull

2.6L Inline 6 diesel (You are looking at it)

Inline 5 (TBA)

V8 (TBA)

Bull II

Inline 6 diesel (TBA)

2.2L Inline 5

V8 (TBA)

4 Likes

Judging is under way, with two instabins and one near-bin so far. It will take longer than usual, so please be patient.

8 Likes
Story part 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WANNqr-vcx0

1 July 1975, early morning
The Peace Fortress intentional community, near Nelson, British Columbia

Disturbed, an ear complained to anything that would listen. Eventually, one displeased eye peeled open, looking around for a moment before reporting to Earl’s brain that it was, in fact, daylight.

“Bagpipes, really?”

Another grumble from the other side of the bed chimed in. “Beats his singing. If Starship is going to greet the dawn every other day with a Jefferson Airplane cover, at least let him do it in tune. 'Cause Grace Slick he ain’t,” correctly observed Wendy.

“Mfff,” was all Earl could reply, as the bizarre strains of this surreal rendition of White Rabbit permeated the mid-dawn mist, wisps of fog wafting among the chopped-up school busses, teepees, and sundry other constructions and contraptions in and around the central compound, a clearing on the side of a pine-covered mountain deep in the woods of interior British Columbia. Then, a familiar voice unexpectedly joined in, singing.

“Is that Henry?”

“Mfff.”

Wendy sat up to listen, a smile growing. “His door’s open, so he’s up, and that sure does sound like him. But since when does he sing? I say, he’s not bad!”

“Mfff.”

She playfully bopped him with a pillow. “Oh, you rise and shine too, lazybones. I’ll get you some coffee. We’ve got a big day today, remember? Car shopping.”

“Mfff!” Earl replied, this time muffled by the pillow rather than sleep. Extracting his arms from the bedding, he suddenly grabbed Wendy and abruptly reversed her course out of bed, burying her in pillows as she laughed, then retaliated. This went on until you’ve just had some kind of mushroom, and your mind is moving low, at which point they both paused to listen. Some bongo drums had joined in, as had backup singers, but their son Henry was, to their amazement, leading the song with remarkable gusto. They looked at each other as he belted out a surprisingly rich vibrato for an 11-year old.

“Go ask Aliiiiiice… I think she’ll knooooowwww…”

Smirking, Earl sighed. Welcome to the Peace Fortress, he thought to his past self, contemplating this morning as simultaneously novel and yet squarely in character for their home and the characters they shared it with. Wendy looked at him for a moment, then spoke his thoughts.

“It’s not exactly all bad, is it? Would Henry have the disinhibition to sing like that, if we were still behind a white picket fence in South Carolina? We’ve lived a lot of life in the recent years. I wouldn’t take back or redo any of it, though that doesn’t mean it’s not time to move on.”

Earl’s eyes widened as he slowly turned to look at Wendy, smiling. They’d been together nearly half of their lives, and still it was sometimes jarring how in tune their psyches were. She looked back at him with the same expression, reading it perfectly. Their eyes rested contentedly on one another as the song reached its climax.

“…feed your heeeaaaaad…”

The reverie was broken by a crash from the kitchen downstairs. Though their house was - vaguely - their private residence, guests and visitors downstairs were a routine occurrence in this communal lifestyle. Destruction at this hour, however, wasn’t.

“I wonder who that is…” Wendy resumed her journey downstairs.

“Hello?” she inquired of an unfamiliar form in a black leather jacket covered in patches, sweeping broken porcelain off the floor.

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry, Mama Druid sent me here to get tea, and I accidentally knocked over a mug. I’ll replace it, of course. I’m Darkhorse, visiting here from the Wasteland.” She reached out a fingerless leather glove that contained a scarred, tattoed hand.

For now, politeness and curiosity overrode annoyance, even as it ratcheted up Wendy’s resolve to live in more normal seclusion. “Wendy. Nice to meet you, and don’t worry about a new mug. You said the Wasteland? I thought it got shut down?”

Darkhorse resumed sweeping up the shards. “We struck a deal with the RCMP, basically: kicked out the hardcore faction, handed over their contraband - most of it, anyway - and promised to stay a peaceful community and not turn into a radical leftist militant training ground. We got a lecture from some RCMP higher-up about the legal consequences certain activities could lead to, and that was in April, the last we’ve heard from the cops or the radicals.”

Earl meanwhile had joined them and introduced himself. “So what brings you here?”

“My cousin lives here. I’m chasing a lead on a vintage truck in Nelson, and staying a couple of days in his bus while I try to track it down. Home is a solid two-day drive north in good weather.”

“Truck, huh?”

“Yessir. Here…” Finished with the cleanup, Darkhorse fished around in her jacket for a folded-up photo and handed it to Earl.

He read the handwritten caption, “1958 DCMW Ghurruz Superiority Twelve X. I remember checking out a '59 Ghurruz, a Standard Six I think, but it was too much a behemoth for me. I turned it down for a Flint Adirondack.”

Darkhorse’s eyes lit up. “Not a lot of folks have heard of these. They stopped selling them when all that missile crap in '62 went down. Some DCMW got replaced by Nordwagen models, but the Ghurruz wasn’t among them.”

“What’s so special about it? ‘Superiority Twelve’ sounds higher-end, but what’s ‘X’?”

Wendy meanwhile produced three cups of coffee, and motioned for them to sit at the table.

“The ‘X’ means an offroader. In the Ghurruz’ case, that means not only 4wd and lockers but also underbody armor, a lifted suspension, a winch, auxiliary heater, beadlocks, and on the Superiority and Supremacy trims, portal hubs.”

“Wow, that’s a serious rig! Sounds like you know a thing or two about trucks.”

“I should hope so; I’m a mechanic. Most vehicles and related machinery at the Wasteland are mine or my doing. The whole community is pitching in for this one.”

“We’re actually in the market for a new car. Something younger and milder than this, and with an enclosed body, but along the same lines - an offroad jeep, van, or wagon for general transportation out here. Would you join us for breakfast and let us pick your brain on the matter?”

“Sure! I’ve got a couple of hours before Dancing Bear is likely to be awake–” At the mention of her cousin’s name, Earl and Wendy rolled their eyes, at which Darkhorse immediately laughed. No more needed said.

“So, tell me what you need, what you want, and what you can afford.”

They gave her their spiel, which she carefully listened to and committed to memory.

"Alright, I can think of a bit over a dozen suitable vehicles that you should be able to find new around here, by which I mean probably Kelowna, as there are only a couple of dealerships in Nelson. Let me go get some magazines I have in my car; hopefully there’ll be photos of most of them. There are also three that are available but I will warn you not to buy; two were recently tested by the government and found to violate emissions laws. Dealers are being screwed over, and some of them are trying to unload these trucks onto unsuspecting buyers, who won’t be able to register them.

As for the third, it passes emissions but was denied a certificate of compliance by the Department of Transportation. Why exactly I’m not sure, but it has to do with more obscure rules of legal mechanicals."

Darkhorse returned with her magazines, sat down, produced a flask, swigged something potent out of it, offered it to Earl and Wendy who politely declined, and continued.

“I’ll start with the least suitable, in my view, for your use case. I won’t decide for you, of course, but this should give you a sense of direction to investigate for yourself. Kelowna’s a long drive, eh?”


Instabins:

The Clementine Ambergris by @Chaedder and the VMC Eurobus by @phirmeggplant only meet WES3, not the required WES4.


The Fredliner Bull by @toxicnet runs afoul of the Mechanical Realism expectations stipulated in the brief. I’ve seen (and made) some wacky contraptions in my time, but a transverse engine powering a solid front axle with an independent rear… is a new one.

image

I’m also unimpressed with fake tire covers. Improving the appearance of tires is one thing. Making them look like AT when they’re actually Utility is another, not ok.

Shame, too; the engineering execution is quite well done. I’d love to see this quality work on remotely realistic hardware choices.


14th of 14 legal entries. ARVA Ovcharka

by @knugcab

Wendy whistled, “That looks like a proper offroader! And spacious, too! I have to say, color aside, I love the looks; what’s wrong with it?”

“The name means ‘sheepdog’ in Russian, and it’s a purebred offroader, among the most capable on the market if not the world (61.1, probably underrated). Unfortunately, that’s all it does, and not for long. Comfort is simply miserable (8.6), it doesn’t handle well on pavement, and it’s both thirsty and slow. The silver lining, if you want to call it that, is that the wish you’ll have after a half hour of driving it - that a quick death may befall either you or the Ovcharka - will likely be granted; it not only has the worst safety score (26.5) and a somewhat unreliable engine (66.6), it also is the second worst for rust resistance (29.9). Reliability aside from the engine is quite good (84.3) and it’s less than half your budget ($9140), but you definitely get what you pay for.”

“I’m not so sure of that, even. Our old Flint rode like a rock, but at least was reliable as one, engine included.”

“Sounds very much not for us. Pity; it looks fantastic.”


13. Miller Mustafar

by @ch_flash

“And now, a more normal, civilian van. I’m not crazy about the looks but they aren’t a dealbreaker, either. It looks well-executed, anyway.”

“I rather like it. It’s not super stylish, but respectable and yeah, well done. What’s going on here?”

“Overpriced underperformance, mostly. It’s a lot more comfortable than the ARVA, but well behind almost everything else (20.4, second worst). To be fair, that’s partially due to the third-row jumpseats, without which it’d be 26.9. Offroad is officially 37, but while I think it’s a couple of points underrated, that’s still not great. Its engine is quite the oddball - an all-alu 60-degree V8 - is even less reliable than the ARVA (60.2, the worst here), but unlike that one, the rest of the mechanicals don’t particularly last either (74.7). It’s also the thirstiest car here (15.8L/100km) and service costs are somewhat high ($952), as is the upfront ($20600). It has full-time AWD and is quite easy to drive (55.1, third highest), but that doesn’t redeem the rest. The cost problem is partly due to underused techpool ($28.5M out of an allowed 40M, including +3 turbo that’s completely wasted).”

“Seems like their styling department has its act together, but engineering maybe should’ve been farmed out?”

“The name means something like ‘the chosen one’ in Arabic. That won’t be the case.”


12. Yamaguchi Van V190 Deluxe Heavy Duty

by @happyhungryhippo

“Hm. We did say we don’t mind an older vehicle, but this looks quite vintage indeed, not in a good way.”

“I disagree; I think it looks cute. But why are the tires so small?”

“Probably to keep upfront and running costs cheap - which they are ($820 and $15200) - while still earning a so-so offroad rating (40.6) that I think is rather optimistic, due to the tiny tires. The brand name sounds very close to ‘I am mighty/capable’ in Russian, but it isn’t especially. Comfort is alright (29.7), reliability is middling (72.2 engine, 80.1 the rest), and it’s pretty mediocre overall. The exception is environmental resistance, at 25.0 the absolute worst here.”

“Oof, no thanks. I’d much rather spend more for something that lasts in the winters around here.”


11. SUMA M431 Bisagra Sheriff

by @banana_soule


“It looks… practical, utilitarian. Not a dealbreaker, but I was hoping for something with a little more style. I do like the colors, though.”

“Actually, if you look at it for a minute, it’s got some style in the details - the taillights, the complementary-colored stripe down the side, the subtle side moldings. Things line up nicely and it’s well-detailed and-executed. But it’s definitely a decorated box, almost singlemindedly practical.”

“Practical it is indeed - it seats seven with a bit of room left over. It’s also well-engineered, very cheap to buy ($12500) and cheap to run (10L economy, $755 annual service). In fact, it’s the cheapest car here to own for a decade, given some reasonable assumptions ($40050). It’s the easiest of all to drive (57.4) and comfort is decent (31.2). The engine is quite reliable, too (84.1, the highest among gassers) and the rest is ok (78.9). Unfortunately, while a front-wheel drivetrain is a reasonable choice for winter use closer to paved civilization, and its rust resistance is ok (40.4), for living out here - having to climb unplowed mountain roads to get home - it’s not going to suffice.”

“If this were a four-by, I could overlook the styling in favor of the costs and its numerous competencies, but getting stuck is an unaffordable risk.”


10. DGM Haida 2.3L

by @dog959

“Now we’re starting to get into the ones that might be worth checking out. What do you think of this?”

“Not the most stylish thing on four wheels, rather utilitarian, but respectable.”

“Agreed. I’d say the looks are a slight positive. Some details are a bit rough or basic, though. How’s it go?”

“Very average all around. It’s the only car that isn’t in the top or bottom three in any category. Generally competent but unremarkable - drivability (52.5), off-road (47.4), comfort (27.4), reliability (74.6 engine, 84.8 everything else), corrosion resistance (45.1)… The exceptions, perhaps, are good ones: it’s on the cheap side to buy, fuel, and maintain ($14500, 10.6L, $762).”

“Worth looking at?”

“That depends; do the cars that do significantly better in some categories come with major flaws elsewhere, or is there something that does as little wrong as the Haida, and one or two things more right?”

“There’s nothing that gets as little wrong, but there are a few that get a lot more right.”

“Ok, let’s keep this one in mind for a backup option.”

[OOC: While interior ergonomics aren’t a factor here, this is not the way to fit seats. Highly recommend hiding the chassis for interior clearance reasons. Also, the window cranks are poorly located, the front armrests are backwards, and while a splash of wood (apparently my own desert ironwood texture) is welcome, the slabs are rather huge for the rest of the interior and the price point. And for the species of wood; desert ironwood chunks that big would cost a meaningful part of the Haida’s purchase price.]


9. Centurion L310

by @ldub0775

“This is a Centurion? I’ve seen them before, mostly bigger rigs, and they were much better styled than this. It’s certainly not bad, far from it, but…”

“A bit plain and underdone by this company’s standards, yes. The styling is nothing to write home about, nor to proclaim as loudly as the lettering on the hood does. Unfortunately, while Centurion’s traditional strength doesn’t make much of an appearance here, its traditional weaknesses do. It’s on the harder side to drive (44.4), engine reliability is the second-worst here (63.0), it’s a bit of guzzler (14.4L), and unexpectedly expensive to service ($993, the highest here). It does get a few things right, notably comfort (39.9, fourth best), off-road (51.5), and most of all it’s as close to rustproof as you can get (66.1, by far the best). The reliability of a critical component, however…”

“Can you explain what makes it that low?”

“I happen to be familiar with these, and yes, the cause is pretty straightforward: the engine’s fundamental design is off to a good start, but no quality points were spent on any part of it. For the roughly 3 grand remaining in your budget, they could’ve made this a damn sight better. In fact, I did just that on one of these that got left behind by the grenade-training crew; for 3k and the same techpool, I got the engine to 72.2 with quality points alone, 81.7 with some minor retuning.”

“Unfortunately, we don’t have the means to do that, and risking the engine blowing up isn’t something we can do either.”


Story part 2

Pure excitement suddenly barged in from outside.

“Mom! Dad! Did you hear me earlier?”

“We sure did! Since when do you sing? We had no idea! You sounded amazing!”

“Me and Starship and Mama Druid, after free school we been playing drum circles and practicing chanting. They said I was really good and had me practice real singing in secret so I could surprise you one morning.”

“Well you did! Keep that up, Henry!”

Darkhorse stood up, looking distracted. “I need to go take care of something for a minute. Those six are the ones you probably aren’t going to want, minus the DGM maybe. I’ll see you in a little while if you want to discuss the others?”

“Absolutely!”

13 Likes

Trolling complete. Returning to HQ.

3 Likes

JOC6C_-Knugcab_Clone-_ARVA_Ovcharka_N1.car|attachment (1.1 MB)

What is this?

Story part 3

A half hour later, Darkhorse still hadn’t returned. Meanwhile, Henry had eaten breakfast and run off, and Earl and Wendy were on their second cup of post-breakfast tea, wondering what was taking so long. The magazines were still on the table, and they grabbed one each and proceeded to browse.

“Hey hon’, remember that suggestion you made, about beefed-up station wagons? Check this out…” Earl motioned her over, laying the magazine flat on the table.


Sport Utility Vehicles (SUVs) have been growing in popularity in recent years, the growth directly proportional to the distance gained from the type’s military and agricultural origins decades ago, in aspects of passenger comfort, roadholding, economy, and performance. To put it in a rather banal way, the more car-like they become, the more accepted they become as cars, by those with a need - real or imagined - for their defining capability to interface not only with paved civilization, but also with the unpaved wild.

This progress, however undeniable, still has a ways to go. More recently, it has been supplanted by a quantum leap in the opposite direction and from the opposite end: rather than trying to make the capable civilized, take what’s already civilized and make it capable. With versatility as the goal, the station wagon - arguably the most versatile form factor of the passenger car - is the logical starting point for such an endeavor. Enter the off-road station wagon.

The Principal Question is, as usual: does it work? Can you really crossbreed a santoku with a splitting maul to make a Swiss army knife? Or do car-like manners turn uncouth while offroad prowess turns incapable? To find out, we test five brand new station wagons, all four-wheel drive with knobby tires, plenty of daylight underneath, Premium-grade or better interiors, and pretenses - whether justified or not - of suitability for both the built-up human world and for the wild country.

Sayoko HW - 1600 woody

by @hilbert

By most of our test staff, the softer edges and more compact proportions of the Sayoko feel like a breath of fresh air among the rigid angular boxes typical of this segment. The wood paneling on the sides is a bold move for something so obviously modern and progressive, but most of us felt the HW pulled it off, thereby making not only an attractive stylistic statement, but also a bridge to the traditional appearance of station wagons. The curves of the wood panels are well assembled and match those of the excellent taillights, which feature shaped lenses to promote light dispersion.

On the downsides, the wood panels have no seams at the doors, and the lower greenhouse is janky. On the other hand, the front end is well done, showing the world a pleasant, very period-correct, not too upscale-looking but very much respectable face.

Inside, a lovely arrangement of black and various tans comprises the color palette, especially on the nicely shaped and padded dashboard. The backwards front armrests, awkwardly placed window cranks, oddly proportioned and overly upright seats are the flies in the ointment here, but for what we’re judging, none of that matters much; at the end of the day, the interior complements the overall looks.

By some margin, the Sayoko is the lightest of the bunch, weighing a mere 1008kg. This makes its engine - also by far the smallest here, a 1.6L iron/alu SOHC-4 flat four - reasonably well-suited for the car, where in most competitors it’d be undersized misery. It’s cammed relatively high, which gives it ample power but an unusually high idle of 1100rpm, a major contribution to its lackluster fuel economy (11.8L/100km). While some components received additional engineering attention, relatively little extra quality went into the engine, with predictable results: it’s by far the cheapest car here ($13400), and the least reliable (74.6 engine, 76.6 everything else).

Cute, cheap, practical, surprisingly comfortable (35.6), and as fun to drive as this segment gets (7.2, tied for first), the HW1600 does have some drawbacks. The rain on the parade begins with a drizzle of mediocrities: the aforementioned reliability, so-so corrosion resistance (34.7), and while it rides very well, at least on tarmac, it’s cramped. But the real downpour begins when the Sayoko is taken off-road (32.7). While well-equipped with all-terrain tires, skidplates, and a fully locking 4x4 drivetrain, the small tires (590mm) and low ground clearance mean that winter pavement and mild unpaved roads are about its limit. Furthermore, as you approach that limit, the surprising comfort takes a surprisingly big hit, as small tires are more affected by washboard and similar surfaces.

Advertising claimed the Sayoko to be revolutionary, and in some ways perhaps it is. We can recommend it for urban and suburban use cases - where off-road ability doesn’t much matter, smaller cars are easier to fit, and reliability is less a matter of survival. For more demanding conditions, however, we find it underdelivers on the implied promises of reliability and suitability for rough terrain.


Wendy: “Sounds like a fine choice for flatlanders, but I think we’d like something tougher and roomier than that. Too bad, I like the looks and what I hear of the ride.”

Earl: “The looks are alright by me too, and it sounds fun and practical, but I agree - not quite what we’re after.”

VERDICT: Declined. Rank TBA.

Ariete Solera OW-6D

by @bdub1 and @mart1n2005

The Ariete Solera OW-6D is one of the few vehicles on the market of any type to use pavement-friendly all-wheel drive, and the only one in this segment to combine it with locking differentials. That includes the center diff, making this a full-time four-wheel drive car. Combined with a reasonably balanced suspension tune, excellent brake tune, considerable engineering attention paid to weight distribution, and hydraulic rack steering, it’s a breeze to drive (57) and not entirely soulless while at it (4.7). Comfort is another highlight (40.6), owing to the double-wishbone front and semi-trailing rear suspension, a reasonably spacious Premium-grade interior, and medium-sized all-terrain tires.

The Ariete’s styling is a bit anonymous, but tasteful, and with plenty of subtle details that enrich the whole more the sum of its parts: the mid-door body moldings, the taillight frames well-matched to the relocated hatch seams, the detailing of the grill and lights. One foible here concerns the C-pillars; most of our test staff agreed that they are too upright, and that the rear windows needed to be split in order to open more than 20-25cm. Missing glass around all the pillars also put a dent in its visual rating, which was nonetheless good. With two shades of brown outside, and yellow and brown inside, it looks very much period-correct, too, though some of us felt that the yellow clashed slightly with the exterior tones.

The engine, an OHV 3.8 R6 diesel, is a paragon of reliability (91.6). It’s also smooth (78), torquey (240ft-lb at 2100), and very efficient (29.1%, resulting in 9.0 L/100km), though being not only a diesel but a direct-injection type, it’s a bit loud (38.7). We’re not sure about the visual merits of the baby blue paint on the block, but hey, it’s an engine and a pretty good one at that.

The Solera - whose name sounds very similar to Russian соляра (sol’ara, ‘diesel fuel’) - isn’t the cheapest to buy ($19600) or to service ($880), but for a long-term purchase, the fuel bill waters that down
considerably. Of course, that’d mean nothing if it were prone to rusting to death before that starts to matter, but with some extra attention paid to corrosion-resistant construction (43.0), that concern can be put to rest. Not outright concerning, but still worth mentioning is that everything besides the engine isn’t quite as reliable (76.8).

As an all-season wagon, it’s excellent. But what about all-terrain? Here, the Ariete can no longer hold its head quite so high. The drivetrain is as capable as they get, but the suspension choices yield to solid axles in capability. Like the Sayoko, ground clearance is rather low. Unlike the Sayoko, however, the tires are amply sized (660mm), and the resulting off-road ability (42.1), while mediocre, is nonetheless a meaningful improvement in the range of places it can go.


Wendy: “Well, this sounds very promising. The only thing giving me pause is the off-road ability. I mean, we don’t go rock-crawling, but is 42.1 good enough?”

Earl: “Maybe. It also might be a case of ‘how much would have to be sacrificed to get more’. I think it’s definitely worth checking out.”

Wendy: “Yes, especially if we can somehow get to test it offroad.”

Earl: “Hm, that’s not something a dealership ordinarily would do, but I’ve got a contact in Kelowna who just might allow that.”

Verdict: Worth a testdrive.

KPAW 107W 4x4

by @supersaturn77

Being rear-engined isn’t the only unique thing about the KPAW, but may well be its defining attribute, whence all others are derived. Consequences and implications of this layout begin with the visuals, with neither need nor presence of a grill, allowing its uniquely styled pointed nose to lead the way. Elsewhere the styling is quite generic, perhaps somewhat underdone. The slat vents under the taillights hint at a variety of interesting potential designs, but as is, the taillights are rather plain blocks.

The interior styling is as modern as the nose, if not more so. A bold three-color palette, no-nonsense layout, ample room, and excellent ergonomics enhance any purpose the KPAW is used for. The presence of proper armrests in the front is among the highlights.

Apart from its powertrain layout, the engineering of the KPAW is quite conventional, giving mostly average results, such as envionmental resistance (36.2), economy (11.6L), and a bit better than average drivability (52.6). The suspension tune, though somewhat sloppy, still ends up with the best dry-road handling here. It’s even good enough to make up for being somewhat underpowered (82hp, 125ft-lb), and our test team agreed that the overall enthusiastic driving experience tied with the Sayoko for first place (7.2). Surprisingly, its handling doesn’t come at the cost of good comfort (36.2), though contributions to that are noted from the high-end 8-track player, as well as the engine, the N6O2 2.2L - Konfig-L.

This motor, an undersquare 2195cc SOHC-2 V6, is remarkably light for its all-iron construction (129.5kg) underbored from a potential 2335cc. The forged internals are capable of far higher RPM than the engine
uses, which combine with a tried-n-true high-quality 2-barrel carburetor and extra exhaust quality to make for excellent reliability (83.8, second highest gasser). Elsewhere, reliability is merely ok (78). As far as chassis dynamics are concerned, the engine and layout are mutually sensible choices, though we would have appreciated a bit more power to go with the handling. Otherwise, there are two significant drawbacks - relatively high service costs ($936), and a major reduction in effective cargo volume and overall versatility of the car. Sure, there’s a frunk, but even if it were comparably sized to the space lost (it isn’t), simply being a separate space reduces its usefulness compared to the single cavern of a conventional wagon.

There’s a reason the KPAW is parked in the middle of the photo above, squarely on the pavement. In short, a transfer case and all-terrain tires alone do not an offroader make. For one deficiency, the driveline isn’t ideal for it; a clutch-type limited-slip diff is a lot better than nothing, and better-suited to bad roads than a locker, but when the surface becomes not only slippery but sufficiently bumpy, the clutch pack becomes less and less effective at delivering power where it’s needed. For another, there’s no skidplate to protect the driveline and body from whatever they may land on, exacerbated by the likelihood of that happening in the first place; the 635mm all-terrain tires aren’t quite made up for by the ride height, and just like with the Sayoko, the ride over washboard and other rough surfaces worsens more than it would with bigger tires. The result (32.7) is still much better than just about anything 2wd, but is outclassed by everything else here.


Earl: “I’m quite the fan of how it looks and is said to handle, but it doesn’t sound up to the job.”

Wendy: “Comfort and looks aside, it doesn’t have much going for it by me, and an engine taking up half the trunk… doesn’t work for us.”

Verdict: Declined. Rank TBA.

Bordeaux CS5 Familiale 4x4

by @the-chowi

Our test staff had very mixed reactions to the Bordeaux’ styling. Some drooled over its sharp and modern European lines. Others drooled even harder, seeing them over such beefy-looking running gear. Others thought that, on the contrary, the two visual themes clashed. Others thought it was awkward, if not quite ugly. And others had little to say about the form because they were too preoccupied with the car’s function, but more on that later. The yaysayers praised the clean lines and balanced overall proportions of the design. Execution and detail is half-decent, and nobody disputed that the overall appearance is one of justified confidence and tough capability. The naysayers pointed out the awkward angle of the rear side vent window, the uncertain alignment of the headlights in their housings, the strange taillights, and the seafoam green paint as less than visually successful.

More universally appreciated was the interior, with a pleasant black/tan two-tone color scheme, good ergonomics, and ample room.

The CS5 4x4 is the only one of this group to use a ladder frame, solid axles at both ends, or dedicated offroad tires, and the sum of these equipment choices begins to establish the Theme of just what we’re dealing with here. There’s a reason the Bordeaux is parked waist-deep in desert brush in our photo: leaps and bounds separate its offroad ability (61.5) from its nearest competitor. It even outperforms most actual SUVs, in part thanks to not being nearly as tall or heavy as one, yet with comparable running gear.

Motivating the Familiale is a 2.3L SOHC-2 inline four, an indirect-injection naturally-aspirated diesel. Understressed, and with +5 architecture, +5 bottom end, and +10 fuel system quality, the 2300D motor may as well be hewn out of solid granite, with stellar reliability (93.0). What’s more, it’s also very efficient, with thermal performance at 29.9% and overall economy a quite impressive 7.9L/100km. Less impressive is that it also has all the refinement of solid granite, rough (54.1 despite balance shafts) and noisy (42.7). Its song isn’t a terribly pleasing one, either.

Between the engine and the ground are a traditional part-time 4x4 5-speed manual drivetrain done at +10 quality, and +6 quality 680mm mud-terrain rubber. Extra build quality was also invested in the underbody armor (+3), interior (+5), hydraulic recirculating ball steering (+3), and suspension (+10). Besides the indestructible engine, the rest of the car is comparably reliable (85.6), and when something does need service, it takes little more than a stick and a hammer ($725). Nor shall it be destroyed by the tin worm, with its high-quality corrosion-resistant construction amounting to excellent environmental resistance (53.1). By now, the Theme is clear: this isn’t a car, this is a goddamn tank.

What do all these superlatives cost? Out of your wallet, $18900 upfront. Out of your backside and teeth fillings, however, the cost may be greater. In spite of a reasonably spacious, premium-grade interior, and exceptional engineering effort put into the coil-sprung suspension that isn’t especially stiff, the CS5 Familiale 4x4 rides like a shopping cart and handles not much better than one. The tire size does help it retain what passes for comfort (20.8) when going off road, but it’s by far the least comfortable car in this test. Worse than the ride is the noise - an unrefined diesel four-banging away up front, knobby tires underneath, and surprisingly meager soundproofing all around (+4.5%). But then again, who ever expected a tank to be comfortable?


Wendy: “Oof, this one might be too extreme.”

Earl: “Is 20.8 that bad? For context, the Flint was 1.5 and the Angus 25.8. Maybe we should see for ourselves. It’s got a lot else going for it…”

Wendy: “I dunno… I’d rather not downgrade in comfort, but it’s not a massive drop, and I do appreciate its upsides… alright, I suppose we should put it on the list.”

Verdict: Worth a testdrive.

Armor Ridgewood Brougham

by @gasstiresandoil

A luxury car crammed into this segment must be a gimmick, right? A dupe, a trick, a farcical stunt of advertising, a technically true but effectively empty claim made just to say they did.

Exhibit A: its name even bears that notorious epithet which sums up all the malaise, mediocrity, and delusions of grandeur in the midst of utter dreck that is the North American automotive industry in the mid-70s: Brougham.

Exhibit B: just look at it! That imperious, shameless grill. Those acres of fake wood paneling. The boxiness that declares, while peering down its nose, “the air will just move out of my way, if it knows its place.”

Well, why leave a stoning half-done? Let’s climb inside and find more to lambast… huh, that door feels remarkably solid. Wow, nice interior, but I’m sure it’s some flimsy plastic garbage… oh? Leather, indeed? This is real wood, you say? And the ergonomics are excellent… Wait, is this some kind of prank? Or do we realize that we’ve been wrong, that Armor made good use of a Luxury interior to make not only a luxury car, and not only a luxury off-road wagon, but a properly good one?

It’s fitting that the two cars with wood sides in this comparison should be so different. Where the Sayoko is modern and cute, the Armor is classical, regal, dignified. It doesn’t look out of date by any means, but takes a rather conservative approach to stylistic progress without eschewing it altogether. About the most visually daring part of it is the taillight arrangement, which falls well short of avant-garde but lands squarely at Classy.

Haven’t we always said that beauty is skin-deep, that it’s what’s inside that counts? With the Ridgewood, that holds abundantly true: the interior is beautifully done, intelligently arranged, and well-built. We’d even go so far as to say it doesn’t complement the exterior, but the other way around. It looks so good that we’re loathed to point out that white isn’t the best color for an interior on something designed to take you deep into the dirt. On the other hand, leather is easier to clean from mud than cloth. The interior is the star of the comfort parade, but far from the only member, joined in by tall, squishy tires and a tall, squishy suspension. It’s quite spacious for something that isn’t a land yacht, too. All this amounts to being comfortably ahead of everything else here when it comes to comfort (45.3).

Also contributing to the quality of life is decent refinement from the 3.3L OHV V6 under the hood. A well-rounded and impeccably tuned motor with plenty of quality invested, it’s reasonably smooth (62.8), reliable, easy to live with, and provides a reassuring reserve of power (136hp, 170ft-lb). While not the quietest (32.5), the noise it does make is a musical, refined note, combining with relatively brisk throttle response to make something vaguely enjoyable out of the driving experience. It’s not a lot (4.1), and the soft suspension doesn’t contribute much, but it’s there just enough to make up for so-so driveability (49.7).

So far, we’ve seen either good road cars that don’t especially like to get their hands dirty, or the opposite extreme, leading ominously to answering our Principal Question with No. Well, here’s arguably the best candidate to answer with Yes. While it doesn’t keep up with dedicated offroaders like a certain French tank, the Ridgewood’s off-road chops (48.2) handily outpace everything else here. The recipe is straightforward: independent front and coil-sprung rear suspension, huge (730mm) all-terrain tires, a conventional part-time 4x4 drivetrain, and ample ground clearance.

So it turns out you can have your cake and eat it too, but too much cake makes you fat and unhealthy, and some of that downside does manifest here. It’s the second most expensive of our five to buy ($19100), most expensive to fuel (13.9L/100km) and to maintain ($953), though the latter is mitigated slightly by the reliability of its engine (82.7) and to a lesser extent, everything else (77.9). Corrosion resistance is average in this segment (38.1).


Earl: This one might be excessive as well; do our backsides need that much coddling?"

Wendy: “It sure sounds good to me. It goes where we need it, it looks great outside and fantastic inside, it’s likely to last, doesn’t sound too bad to drive… I know it’s at about our budget limit, but from the sounds of it, I don’t foresee either it dying or us wishing it did.”

Earl: “Can’t say I do, either. The fuel bill might be mildly annoying, and I’d rather have a lower-spec interior that holds up better, but neither of those are dealbreakers. Let’s check it out.”

Verdict: Worth a testdrive.

10 Likes

You can thank North American sealed-beam headlight regulations for that :wink:
(at least that was the intention)

Great writeup!

3 Likes
Story part 4

“Well, that was enlightening. I wonder if any of them have dealerships in Nelson? I know you said you know someone in Kelowna, but that’s a hike and a half…”

“I’ll go find a phone book.”

A few minutes later, they had called all three dealerships in Nelson, but none of them carried any of the wagons they were interested in.

“Let’s see if Fred Lugoff Jr. can help…”

“What, him?! You didn’t tell me you ran into that guy!”

“Oh, I must’ve mentioned it in passing. Yeah, darndest thing - he moved up here a bit after we did, and for part of the same reason. He runs a dealership in Kelowna.”

“Well, I’ll be!”

Wendy couldn’t help but crack up at being able to hear Fred’s exuberance through the telephone, even sitting a ways away from Earl, who spoke cordially while rolling his eyes and making funny gestures, caricaturizing Fred. After a few minutes, he hung up the phone and exhaled dramatically.

“An energy-sapping clown, to be sure, but I think he’s a good person underneath. Anyway, he has the Armor, Ariete, and Bordeaux in stock, and says he has an affiliate in Nelson; with some days’ notice the cars can appear there for us to pick up and test. Not only that, but he says to take our time, hang on to them for a day or two, and put them through their paces, including the logging roads and jeep trails around here. He happens to have a Bordeaux already on the way as of this morning, due to arrive around 2pm.”

“Well, ain’t that something-- huh, look who it is!” Wendy gestured out the window at Darkhorse, looking rather puffy-eyed and relaxed as she ambled back towards the house.

“What took so long?” Earl called to her.

Her Canadian accent was somehow stronger than before. “Oh, sowrry. Dancing Bear was up, and we hung out in the parking lot and caught up on life. Haven’t seen each other in a while, eh? Anyway, if you still want to hear aboot offroaders, there are a few good ones I should mention.”

“Oh, certainly. We did read this.” Wendy showed her the article aboot about wagons. “We’ve got at least one testdrive tentatively arranged in Nelson this afternoon, of a Bordeaux CS5.”

"Oh yeah, the Bordeaux is a favorite up north. It’s definitely not for everyone, though. Oddly enough, you might be surprised by how many Sayokos are up there too. Here’s the thing about off-road ability: if you’re driving prepared, existing roads that have been plowed or driven on recently, you don’t need obstacle-crossing ability beyond what the likes of the Sayoko and KPAW have. If the roads are steep, bumpy, not often plowed, but do basically exist, then off-road is more a matter of convenience than actual capability. It’s only if you’re routinely breaking new trail that the extra capability really comes into play, otherwise it amounts to how likely you are to have to try a few times, or get out and shovel some snow, and also how fast and how comfortably the car can go on less than prepared surfaces.

From what you told me of your circumstances, I’d say 40 off-road is about the comfortable minimum for actual ability, anything pushing 50 or above is gravy, and at that point should be considered as a luxury or convenience feature rather than one of need and survival.

Alright, so you’ve sorted through the wagons… that leaves three actual SUV, starting with… did you say you had a Flint Adirondack back when?"

Flint Ozark 4x4 Limited

by @oldmanbuick

At the mention of the maker of what she once sardonically referred to as the Tooth Fairy’s Evil Twin, for its ability to induce a withdrawal from any gold reserves in one’s teeth, Wendy’s eyes went wide. Horrified, she began to wind up a tirade of emphatic Hell Nos and expletive-laced I Don’t Wanna Hear About Its, while Earl looked on, chuckling.

Darkhorse wasn’t so out of it as to fail to notice, and before Wendy could launch the rant, quickly blurted, “It’s nothing like their old Adirondack model, I swear!”

Looking as if she’d just been told that tomorrow she would wake up to find Earl having turned into a giant cheesecake, her very animated eyebrows dared Darkhorse to continue.

“Yeah, it has the same badge on it, but it’s not a typical Flint from the couple I’ve seen, in several ways good and bad. First and foremost, it’s damn comfortable (39.1), and the off-road ability (54.6) helps keep that as the surface worsens.” The eyebrows mostly relaxed.

"Well, that’s a relief to hear. With the old one… " She looked slyly at Earl. “Going somewhere on a date in that thing, I was guaranteed at least two good poundings: the drive there and the drive back.”

Earl blushed, cracking up.

“But what was fun at 17 doesn’t always work at twice that age. Only two doors?”

“Yes, and the 2.4m wheelbase is on the short side for something that isn’t a van. That’s part of what makes it maneuverable off-road.”

“How is it on the road?”

“Not too hard (49.4), just boring (0.0 sportiness). Besides being set up like an offroader, it’s also an automatic, in fact the only one here.”

“Hm… it looks ok, and goes where needed, but comfort is compromised and it doesn’t seem to have much else going for it. At least it’s reliable, right?”

“It’s funny; that’s definitely Flint’s reputation, and most of the truck is as solidly overbuilt as you’d expect (88.9, the highest of all), but the engine is rather lackluster (78.7, the median among all entries), as is the gearbox (89.6, the lowest of any).”

“Weird… and the other of the Adirondack’s virtues: cheap to buy and run?”

“Not really, either. Upfront is moderate - $17000 - but service slightly high at $921, and a decade of ownership will add up to $57610, second highest. Most of that is fuel; the Ozark has the dubious honor of being the second-worst gas hog here: 15.7L/100km, about 14.5mpg.”

“Yikes, no thanks.”

“Yeah, that’s not exactly a redemption of its other drawbacks. Let’s look at something else…”

Verdict: Declined.

Capable Wayfarer Off-Road S

by @Vento

“Um… by ‘something else’ I meant–”

“It sure is something else, alright…”

“What is that gash down the side? Is that supposed to be negative molding?”

“The proportions are just wrong. Visually, I can’t find an angle that looks right. No mirrors, no reverse lights… exhaust through the bumper - really?”

“And that huge rear overhang makes the nominal off-road rating (55.9) pretty doubtful. The running boards leave less ground clearance than a Sayoko!”

“Why are you showing us this, again?”

“Oh sowrry… the magazine just fell open here and I got distracted… but to be fair, I hear good things about the mechanicals. It’s supposed to be very reliable all around (88.0 engine, 87.4 the rest), good on fuel and rust resistance, cheap to buy and maintain–”

“Can we even buy this legally? Those windows are dark! How are we supposed to see out of them?”

“Maybe it’s so nobody recognizes you in it. I mean, we aren’t the most mainstream-fashion-conscious folks, but we do have some taste, and standards.”

“Nevermind this one, then.”

Verdict: Declined. Should’ve been binned for breaking the interior rule, but I said I wouldn’t.

Bolland LU150 Wagon

by @donutsnail

“So far we’ve got two or three wagons worth looking at, but not a single SUV better than a vague ‘maybe as a backup’. Is that just the way things are with the market these days, or are there any SUV worth
mentioning?”

“Yes, and rather than trying to find a photo, I can show you in person. My Fenrir is down for repairs, so I got here with a borrowed Bolland LU from a neighbor who just bought it brand new. It’s out in the parking lot. Come!”

As they entered the clearing that passed for a parking lot, Earl and Wendy kept looking around, puzzled at the lack of any new vehicles they could see. As Darkhorse approached her car, they both blinked in
surprise.

“This is new?”

“Yep, it’s been in production since the 60s. They kept refining and improving the old design, saving development dollars for what it can do rather than how it looks. Anyway, come around the front, and you’ll see it’s not all vintage.”

Earl, who previously declined a car for looking outdated, peered skeptically. Wendy was a bit warmer towards it, looking it over from various angles before addressing Earl.

“Come now, darling, I know it’s not the trendiest look, but it’s respectable. Besides, haven’t we spent the last several years unlearning Babylon’s fashion consciousness?”

At this, Earl relaxed his frown. “Yeah… I guess. And looking closer at it, the grill does look at least from this decade. What’s up with the semi-painted window frames, though?”

“I won’t say it’s my favorite design, either, but I don’t mind it.”

Darkhorse opened the doors and beckoned them inside. Upon seeing, feeling, and smelling an unexpectedly upscale interior, Earl and Wendy both whistled.

“So that’s where R&D went. Wow, this is cushy!”

“How about when that Bordeaux is ready to check out, I’ll drive us to town in this thing?”

“That sounds great! What do we do meanwhile?”

Darkhorse silently smiled, looked around and gestured at the luxurious interior, and produced a joint. “One drawback to power windows is that they need the ignition on to open them, but that also makes the glowplugs cycle. If this were my rig, I’d modify that, otherwise…”

“It’s all good. I don’t mind leaving the doors open. Or hotboxing.”


“…and it was, like, the size of your head, man!”

Earl woke up, dazed and confused. Darkhorse paused her stoned monologue, and asked him, “Nice seats, eh?”

“I can’t remember the last time I sat in something so comfortable. The BC Gold helped, but I’m starting to get why Wendy likes comfort so much-- where is she, anyway?”

“She braided some of your hair when you passed out, then wandered off to look at birds, I think. Anyway, it’s aboot 2pm. Want to head to town?”


With the tiniest wisp of grey smoke, the Big Burgundy Bolland came to life, its initially raucous clatter promptly settling into an even, raspy tick.

“It’s not the quietest engine (36.7), but it’s not bad, especially for a direct-injection. There’s a metric shitton of soundproofing (14.8%, the highest here), and you hardly hear it from inside. Don’t feel much, either; it’s a fairly small (2.6L) straight-six with a ridiculously heavy flywheel - a monstrous 41.6kg - and the resulting smoothness (85.2, the highest here) is V12 territory. Throttle response, though (8.9, the lowest here)… is akin to shouting orders to the engine room from the bridge. It’s not a sports car, eh?”

That was certainly not in dispute, Earl and Wendy thought, as they took off with all the haste and jerkiness of an ocean liner. By the time they reached the end of the driveway, they understood what they were dealing with here.

“This thing rides like an absolute cloud!”

“And that’s on poorly-graded gravel, and with solid axles at both ends,” Darkhorse replied. “The comfort wouldn’t be out of place on a limo, and is the very best in class (47.0). If that weren’t enough, it’s also arguably the most capable off-roader on the market today (66.3 unmodified). Put the two together and you get one magic carpet.”

Earl looked at Wendy. “Yep, I get it now, why you focus on comfort.”

Wendy replied, “But not just at any cost. For me, comfort in a holistic sense includes the ease of driving it, the peace of mind of not worrying about whether it’ll get where I need to go, or whether it’ll start the next day, or whether it’ll rot into oblivion next year… how’s it fare in these respects?”

“I’ll start with the good news: Reliability is excellent (81.5 engine, 86.1 the rest), especially the drivetrain (the only entry to crack 100 anywhere, in this case the gearbox). Corrosion resistance is very good (49.0), thanks to extra rustproofing on the ladder-frame chassis. Like I said, there are merits to refining old designs, eh? The bad news is that driving it is a bit of a chore (44.3, third worst); it’s big, the steering is vague and numb, and most of the time it’s RWD with an open diff. Not a sports car…”

“Sure doesn’t feel like one. Doesn’t seem to go like one either, unless you’re just slow-rolling?”

“I actually have it floored at the moment, up this incline. You can sorta hear the engine now; not the worst sound, but very monotonous; in this terrain, it’s frankly underpowered for its weight (1614kg, by far the heaviest here. Torque to weight ratio is third lowest after the ARVA and Sayoko. Power to weight second lowest after the ARVA. Displacement and weight aside, blame the extremely low 9.7:1 compression ratio). It’s not for hurrying, this rig, it’s for taking your sweet time and enjoying the ride, no matter where you’re going.”

“So the driver has more work to do, no fun to have, and furthermore has to try and stay awake in these somnabulating thrones?”

“Yeah… that pretty much sums up the downsides. Passengers love it, though, at least if they aren’t in a rush.”

“Indeed! Not only is the footwork well set up, and the seats this high-grade, but it’s also very roomy. I’d have to try for myself to see what the drivability’s like. It might be too much of a land yacht?”

“I’d like a go behind the wheel too, though at this point I think it’s clearly worth shortlisting, yeah?”

“Oh, absolutely. Anything that rocks my baby to sleep so well that I can braid your hair… is good stuff in my book.”

Verdict: Taken into consideration.

7 Likes

If I remember correctly, I wasn’t able to make the seams look good and no seams is better than ugly seams. On the other hand, I also consider seams to be sort of useless detailing that you won’t really even notice far away.

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I absolutely love Wendy’s hating on the old Adirondack! I was trying to go for a bit of an un-Adirondack here by offering up the highest trim level with the most powerful engine and the auto transmission, but it sounds like I might have overshot and been better off entering a lower trim with a simpler powertrain that would have been more fuel efficient, more reliable, and cheaper to service. Oh well.

I am a bit confused by these two lines co-existing in the review:

Anyway, thanks for the entertaining, well-written review, even if I am going to have to wait for another day to try to win Wendy and Earl back!

2 Likes