King of the Hill (Round 6)

Community Challenges & Competitions
262

We asked for a luxury sedan for the EPG and received two large american style limos. Very interesting.

@HighOctaneLove’s stylish Leeroy arrived first and proved an immediate favourite of the EPG, not only thanks to the wonderful letter accompanying it, even though it clearly showed Leeroy Racing are a bunch of fools! Our country is full of beautiful black people, not white! Very stupid! Still, we’re going to buy one or two for the collection and special events.

Next arrived @HowlerAutomotive’s “Loveboat”. It is a very distinct… entry. Let’s just say the lack of working machine guns proved more a deal breaker than having to run a petrol truck at the same time. We are very likely going to buy a version with working guns for the collection.

Now, the real luxury sedans:

We were not sure if @gridghost’s Scarab Solaris entry was intended as a joke. It’s a servants car! How dare you insult the Eternal President General like that! He is the greatest man in all of Africa! He deserves the best! DO NOT BOTHER US EVER AGAIN. DISQUALIFIED FOR INSULTING THE ETERNAL PRESIDENT GENERAL.
*car given to EPG’s maid

Eternal President General Mwabudike gladly accepts @Dorifto_Dorito’s gift, the unique Shenhuang Chariot. His Great Excellency, Generalissimo Soong Li Cheng has managed to upstage the insulting Scarab Solaris in every category possible. We congratulate to his perfection of a certain western style. Alas, as there are only two in existence it is too valuable as a daily driver. The EPG therefore has decided to make it the center of a new exhibition about the skill of the people and their leader of North Nichuan.

@MarcoAlla’s BRM 770i DICTATOR. The insinuation that Eternal President General Mwabudike is a DICTATOR IS OUTRAGEOUS. INSULTING. Despite all claims of western colonialist propaganda he was elevated by the grace of god and his loving people to his position for the good of all in free and fair elections. We demand a formal apology and a renaming of the car itself. DISQUALIFIED FOR INSULTING THE ETERNAL PRESIDENT GENERAL.
*car confiscated for collection

@AirJordan’s Smooth Beam. We are disappointed at the lack of letter introducing the car and praising the EPG, however his excellency is very much impressed by the car itself. About as comfortable and unique as the “loveboat” but does not require a fuel truck on beck and call. The style is as unique as the Eternal President General himself and will make a wonderful statement to the world. We are also very gratified with the noises the engine makes. We are going to buy six cars for official business.

Victors:
@AirJordan for producing the best car
@HighOctaneLove for producing a good looking limo
@Dorifto_Dorito because anti-colonialist powers have to stick together

If it wasn’t for that outrageous blunder in naming the car, @MarcoAlla would have had a real chance thanks to fluff and the “right bling”. Failing to understand the nature of Africa everyone forgot to include bribes which could have even given @gridghost the win.

The cars
Archpeasant - KotH5 - HowlerAutomotive.zip (32.5 KB)
Dorifto Dorito - KoTH5 DoriftoDorito.zip (23.6 KB)
High_Octane_Love - KotH5-HighOctaneLove.zip (32.0 KB)
gridghost - KotH5-gridghost.zip (32.3 KB)
KOH5-AirJordan.zip (23.1 KB)
MarcoAlla - KOTH5 MarcoAlla.zip (49.5 KB)

9 Likes
263

That’s quite a lineup… But the results were very unsurprising. Offending a customer will make him or her remove you from their Christmas card list - permanently!

264

His Great Excellency, Generalissimo Soong Li Cheng is pleased that his gift is in an exhibition about the friendship of our great countries. Expect a state visit from him a couple of days…

But anyways, thanks for the fun challenge! I think I spent more time trying to make the story up than designing the car :stuck_out_tongue:

265

I thought about entering this

KOTH Zabhawkin - Blank Check-2.png1674×942 1.43 MB

With a story about how even though is slower than heck its armor could take an RPG, and that if you drive through things on the ATT you can still have a good track time.

But I thought I was being too silly with it and its not a sedan.

And yes there was going to be a bribe involved.

266

You’ve seen the “Loveboat” and decided yours was too silly? :thinking:

1 Like
267

The story yes, I was typing it in when the post about following the rules came up, and I knew I wasn’t exactly following the rules.

268

Nothing is too silly or rule breaking when it comes to Africa. Especially in combination with bribes!

269

Well in light of that let me present you with

A large collection of luxury furniture and electronics (for the late entry)

We at DMA feel that a person in your position needs something that you don’t have to get down into but to step up into a position of power and authority. Which is why we decided on something with a bit more stature instead of a puny sedan.

Not only do you get an exquisite ride and comfort but the body panels are actually made with layers of ballistics grade steel, ceramics and Kevlar, which is capable of withstanding a hit from the shape charge of your standard RPG. The window glass is also layers of composites, glass and ceramics and can handle approximately 10 rounds from an AK47 with steel core bullets. The tires are reinforced run-flats, and the rims can hold up and be driven on for several miles without the tire even there.

The one down side is that even with its mighty 800hp turbocharged V12 the blank check is slow on the track, nearly 3 minutes. But one of our drivers was able to cut down the time to below 2 minutes by driving through pits, and garage then through the checkpoint at the end of Caswal’s Carousel, Down the track through the second checkpoint, cut through the grass at Killrob Chicane back onto the track for only part of POMMS Sickle through the wall cutting straight across Steam Straight through the grass at Lambs Hope and through the finish line. The test car had barely any dents or scratches either thanks to the mighty grill guard on the front.

Here in the back is also a crate of smg’s chambered for the same round as the AK47 with folding stocks, perfect for your personal body guards to use in close quarters.

Zabhawkin - KOTH Zabhawkin.zip (29.9 KB)

The only mod is the off road pack by TR8R

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=701622681&searchtext=

3 Likes
270

I dare say that could have won. It’s not even half as silly as you made it out to be!

271

Thanks Riso for this unique competition; it was fun :grin:

I chose white as the outside colour precisely BECAUSE your people are black! White people look better in black limo’s and black people look better in white one’s! :innocent:

Congrats AirJordan on your win :sunglasses:

272

Hurray thanks for the win! :slight_smile:
About the next round tho…This week= not a chance. I don’t have the idea, neither time to come up with one, or do the rules and calculations. I’m very very sorry, but someone else has to step in, otherwise this challenge goes on hold for one week and only than I’ll be happy to make something up.

273

shall we hand it back to @phale for a proper round of minmaxing again? :grinning:

274

The hosting duties should go to @HighOctaneLove or @Dorifto_Dorito first

275

I would like to host the next round, but ive got exams soon, so i think @HighOctaneLove should host.

276

I’m all out of ideas so I believe we should take a break for a week and let @AirJordan host when he is ready to do so…

2 Likes
277

There has been some clearance in my schedule so I’ll post new challenge in next few days if that’s OK.

5 Likes
278

That’d be awesome!!! :sunglasses:

279

Dam :smiley: i knew i should’ve included a hefty bribe :wink:

But alas, it was better than the one he had, and one of the fastest, and if his servants gets it, better for them

Thanx @riso for a hilarious challenge and gratz to @AirJordan for making a awesome car as usual :wink:

280

Ok here it goes:

KOH6 - KING OF THE SAND HILL

You know how some folks are racing their SUVs up them dunes? Well so are we but with a twist (and some rules). Twist is, that is your only car, so it must be sort of reliable and can take you back home and next morning your kinds to school (who’s the coolest dad ha). Wich means there must be some sort of compromise.
Sooo… Muhamad Uwuwewauaouwevawu (so racist) is trying to find the best garage to build him an ultimate truck :heart_eyes:

Rules:

  • 2016 SUV or Pick up (no ute or van)
  • wheelbase 2.5m+
  • street legal-ish looks would be fine
  • race intakes because we looove sand in our turbos
  • it must be turbo because look at those cars!
  • ultimate fuel is given but hey, if you want to run crap, do it
  • no cat reqired and no muffler allowed (come on other would think it’s a joke if it would be quiet)
  • no sequential trannies
  • offroad tyres
  • minimum cooling
  • 5 or more seats
  • power steering only! (yes due to nature of sand racing, everything else must goooo)
  • $25k

Track (thanks to @ramthecowy ):
Quarter mile hillclimb.zip (1.0 MB)

For converting economy (round it to one decimal => 1.65=1.7)

Score sheet

My quick attempt at koh6 is Smooth R-TG

pjimage.jpg1000×2500 580 KB

Deadline: 20.2.2017 at 16:00 Central European Time

4 Likes
281

The fact that you used commas in the spreadsheet really confused me for a second until I realised that in some places commas and periods swap places.