It’s pretty rare when a challenge doesn’t set any limits at all on price or engineering time or production units. Also quite amusing to not aim high for once and just build something ridiculous.
#INTRODUCING THE CRAWLINGTON LOVEBOAT ST-D
The industrious people at Crawlington have just the thing for Eternal President General Mwabudike! The Loveboat ST-D is a time honored favourite of many ruthless tyr… er, beloved sovereigns and this latest version takes the meaning of safe, fast land transportation to a completely new level.
It has lots of power to show those foreign idiots who’s boss. More than 1400 horsepower is at the command of your obedient chauffeurs at all times. Handy “Driver 1 eject” and “Driver 2 eject” buttons at the General’s fingertip, and of course the radiant personality of the General, ensure said chauffeurs remain obedient.
Luxury saloons do not get more stately than this. The lavish interior is fully equipped with all conceivable gadgets and devices, fitted out in lush leather, wood and gold and fully waterproof to allow your staff to clean it quickly and efficiently should relaxation or excitement result in liquids being spilled.
The Loveboat is very comfortable indeed. The interior is handmade by people who are perpetually smiling because they’re paid so much money. Seven seats and ample passenger space are available in this lounge on wheels.
Not only does the Loveboat come with offroad tyres and AWD, it also comes with hydropneumatic suspension for added comfort and control of ride height. Coupled with the power output, bulletproof tires and the 4.1 ton weight, Eternal President General shall cross bumps, pits and bystanders without even noticing in this magnificent machine.
The people at Crawlington are delighted to hear that the Eternal President is doing well. The Slowboat ST-D is not overly pricy, though, at a mere two million automadollars.
Service costs have also been kept within reason. A piddly sixty grand per year is hardly any price at all to pay for the comfort and prestige afforded by the Loveboat. While Crawlington is aware that inferior machines can be serviced and run for less, the Eternal President surely knows how insignificant such minor costs are in the grand scheme of things. Also, barely noticeable compared to the upkeep of any respectable-sized yacht.
Should the General have any concerns about quality of service, Crawlington would recommend purchasing two identical cars, thereby allowing one to be transported back to the Crawlington headquarters by helicopter for the fastest and most high quality servicing. This premium option is preferred by many of the most prestigious clients and can be yours at a barely exorbitant monthly fee.
The Crawlington Loveboat is actually pretty quiet! It should be noted that to comply with international law as per the President’s wishes, the machine gun muzzles at the front of the car are purely decorative.
The Loveboat goes from zero to a hundred kilometres per hour in 3.5 seconds and has a top speed of over 400km/h.
Fuel economy is an environmentally conscious less-than-fifty litres per 100km.
The car is absolutely road legal in other countries, though technically registered as construction equipment.
The distinct Crawlington visuals are sure to turn heads, stun onlookers and dazzle anyone trying to take aim. This one-of-a-kind visual style is a direct result of Crawlington’s groundbreaking design vision of using asylum workforce for exterior design. Eternal President General is encouraged to imagine his inferiors squirm when he asks them whether they think his new car is pretty.
Surely no-one would dare make the Eternal President General an international mockery but the Eternal President General himself.
The EPG received no bribes.