Heya.
While I was recording a video, I got a phone call from some Indian guy claiming to be Microsoft Tech Support. Here’s the full conversation:
Me: “Hello?”
Faildude: “Ah, hello, this is Microsoft tech support, how are you today ma’am?”
Me: “Uhh-Good,” I’m giggling by this point because some guy’s gonna get TROLLED
Faildude: “Ah, okay, we have been receiving multiple errors and virus reports from your PC, and I’m here to help you get rid of them,”
Me: “AUGH, Ryan! Shut up! Oh, sorry, my friend just messaged me saying ‘YOU GONNA GET TROLLED’.”
Faildude: “Uhh, okay, so, are you on your computer right now?”
Me: “Yes - PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!”
Faildude: sighs “Ah, okay, so, I want you to press the windows key, do you see it?”
Me: slurping noise that sounds like someone’s being offended “Yes,” laugh
Faildude: “Okay, I want you to press that key and press ‘r’, okay?”
Me: “Where is the windows key? I only see a little key with a picture of a window,”
Faildude: “That IS the windows key!”
Me: “I don’t think so, I’ll just type in ‘w-i-n-d-o-w-s-r’.”
Faildude: “That is the windows key, little kid,”
Me: laughs “EQUALS THREE BUTTCRACKS I JUST FARTED IN THE PHONE!” --Yes, I did actually blow off steam in the phone.
Faildude: “Okay, we are going to transfer you over to a skilled technician, okay? Just hang on for a second,”
Me: “Ookeyp,”
Faildude 2.0: “Hi, yes, this is James speaking, I hear you need assistance with performing a simple windows task, you idiot?”
Me: “I’m sorry? This isn’t the real microsoft, is it,”
Faildude 2.0: “Ahh, yes it is. Please press the ‘r’ key, and that little key with the window on it,”
Me: “I don’t know where the keyboard is! Please help me!” plops keyboard behind monitor
Faildude 2.0: “It should be in front of you,”
Me: “I don’t see it! Please help me! HURR DURR DURR!” in a creeper’s voice: “I see you, little boy! I will slurp you!”
Faildude 2.0: “I will get law enforcement involved if you continue to delay operations,”
Me: "But you don’t want to! Because you’re a scammer! And you’re too f**king stupid to earn an honest dollar at tim hortons, so you scam people, you lowly piece of sht!"
Hangs up
There you go.
Enjoy! xD
