It's that time again
Initial response:
Took a while to get another interesting one
It’s getting longer
sadly it only repeated this response after that, though I tried many times.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh help i am drowning, BETTERDEALS GIVE ME LIFE
Took a while to get another interesting one
It’s getting longer
sadly it only repeated this response after that, though I tried many times.
Salisbury 1200 and Super Luxe 90 million
@shibusu
16-Update
The car was built in 1979. A year. Every year in 1977. And 1977. There were a lot of things like that.
Style: Cross. Cars used to be a means of transportation. The carpenter and the handyman are mutual friends who don’t like each other. The murder was recorded in that car.
Concept: Drive a steel car, standard steel metal. Bare metal. Steel wheels. Ironing machine!
The bench has many hands. Nine.
Opening the hatch. I didn’t see anything. Where’s the bike? Have a good day, asshole. Since the thief will come and steal the machine, he will not open the hatch and know where the machine is. The car is off! But, unfortunately, the machine is terrible, so thieves don’t steal it. Take a look at the counter of 12,000 Super Luxe 90 million Tesla banknotes. Only 43 horses attempt to carry 840 pounds in the city. So saddening. The children looked, looked and laughed. A call? He left the room.
Colors that can be printed in 12 words. It It used to be attractive, but has now aged as a residential home for amateurs. Wheel circle and whistle. This chair reminds us of a murder investigation. The car has four wheels. Less than five, but no more than three. 14-inch wheels, ha ha. The face is bad. He sucks her ass more than he can suck himself. Fuel consumption isn’t bad-9.8 litres per 100 kilometres. What’s going to happen this year? The result is low fuel consumption. He was very bad. There are eight actors in the song, very retro, very retro! Just like before. Unfortunately, if you have an accident, you will die.
This pendant is old and weighs 366 pounds, but it doesn’t matter, because it kills all its friends. Chair, murder, ya Godon, what happened? What is surprising is that the way this machine works is not good. The engine can’t touch the car. Almond works with brake drum, boom days, boom days and brake drum. Let the drummer play the drums. Unfortunately, with more than 66,700, this is the most expensive battery of the 1970s year. There is very little Google.
Take the last note!
This car is not good. What’s the worst? No, not entirely. But is that normal? Nothing, ha ha. Write it down. Check out the look with the drum kit. These machines were cheap, as they were made of wood stoves and carved copper plates. If it wasn’t for the murder, this car would be the car here, not the best, but by the bar. But he will not tolerate murder in paradise. Demons murderers.In You should take this car. hell.It That’s where the devil and the carpenter commit murder.
10 Likes
Imagine having been able to live through all the years in 1977.
3 Likes
Who told you about my half-grandfather?
2 Likes
Spiritual Board of Directors
17th Revision
The car was built in 1973.
Style: A man who has lived the best times, his wife is an older woman, and with him is a witch.
Concept: Cheap transportation for Brazilian citizens. The worst nightmare is the absence of dreams and hopes.
The car had 34 problems.
I looked at him. At 6:00 I drink wine. I am very sick. What am I doing here? What did the Space design team do in 1973? cocaine? What is fiberglass Panel? There is a MacPherson lock on the front and a spiral strap on the back. Am I drunk or high? The engine is not so interesting, it is an all-metal 2.4-liter 4-cylinder boxer engine. Double top compartment. The 1973 edition! For some reason, the compression ratio is too low and the emissions are too high. No shock absorbers, no. It’s the most powerful car I’ve ever seen. Long pipe, what is the problem?
Next, shape it. The car was yellow. Or yellow. Now it looks like rust and dirt. The car had a glass headlight. The Florida license plate reminded me that this car is far from America. On the computer screen! As we got closer, all the windows were damaged except the rear window. I think it’s important to see where you retreat.Because this old car does not have a rear view camera. I’m a loser and I can’t park without a camera. So, in 2002, I sat at the negotiating table.
Somehow, the car was fast. It looks like a fast supercar from the early 70s.jaroj.la The flat 4 2.4-liter engine produces 143 horsepower, and the maximum power is on the red line. In any case, the car can reach a speed of 8.1 kilometers per hour in 0-100 seconds. As I said in the previous sentence, it’s not exactly a fast supercar, but it’s very close. It’s too early to say what it is. For some reason, the superstructure of the hatchback took LSD. The designers of Spirituos space have always used LSD when creating these releases. The car had magnesium wheels and swaying tires. I’m a short guy, what happened? More wine is needed all the steering disc ventilation.
Isn’t it a place of high spiritual value? What is a good interior? no, no, no! The chair was confused, the floor was confused, the roof was confused, and the radio could not be turned on. Despite its size, there are only 2 of 2 on the front. what happened??? The car weighs 602 kilograms, but it is still equipped with a steering servo. The security system is no different. There is no security system, and 15th place security is quality. I don’t know, but it may be my fault that I didn’t use drugs in my studio apartment. The inclination angle is 2.2 degrees. It’s a sports car! The fuel consumption is 10.9 liters /100 km, and I don’t know if it’s good or bad.
I can’t stand it, let’s summarize.
First, let’s assume that this machine is unreliable. This is probably the least reliable car I’ve ever seen. This is definitely the worst car I’ve ever seen. As I said, it is not safe. And when I say “not sure” I mean a safe value of 2.5. It is not very convenient, comfort is 0.1. If the fixed value is 0, it is not environmentally friendly. It works at a price of 98 Ron, also known as Premium. And the cost itself is 2 thousand rubles. Big money! Do you want a good deal? This is 1! Pen name. I don’t know how many cracks the designers get, but then they open the cracks, damn. The devil mixed in when he saw this car, laughing, dancing, and mixing again. Perfume board. Perfume board. I dream and I can realize it as soon as possible.
No, I did not sleep. Let’s drink wine to forget how painful it is. I drank the wine, felt weak again and drank alcohol. Then I took the ashes, burned them again, and dumped them on a volcano in Indonesia. Hi, I want to write 7 months other reviews!
6 Likes
Caracat code @kalan
- Conclusion.
It is a 1995 or 1916 car.
Style: cartoon, white, red, yellow. Excuse me? Color! Carriage! The passenger car.
Concept: runner-up! Need speed: ground 2, Time Machine. The game ended in a knockout.
This device is painful and painful, which means that there are 9 problems. Considering how bad it looks from the outside, the car will have 79.8 million problems.
Aluminum plate, steel body. Rotate the torsion hammer. What is this? Tell me, Are you okay? It is an 8-valve engine with the same crankshaft. The car was designed in 1916, but by today’s standards, it is not very handsome. Does the tent meet modern standards ? The only way to understand is to write a boring comment. Engine? I remember being more confused than you because I saw madness. it’s hard to say he’s crazy. for some reason, it is equipped with a double-sided catalyst, which is the rarest. The maximum output power of 97.7 HP reaches 5,000 rpm , but the red line reaches 6,200 rpm. The area of the refrigerator is about 1200 rpm. I don’t know how much money I spent on this car.this could be considered a security measure. This is another level of the brain.
There are 18 scrolls in the Sotaga Codex. Phaeton has 30 lights less than 18-30. Are the windows white? This is a strange shade of white and yellow. I don’t understand what’s going on, the big chrome Shield at the front welcomes me, a beautiful grid and annoying headlights. Is outdoor lighting normal ? I guess I don’t think the word “surface” can be used for this car, but the odd circle of light and interior lights. I’m very worried. there’s a square behind it. they are all square and have large wings. Two designs. The door to the gas station is blue. There is an Australian number on the front and the video game number needs Speed: Carbon on the back. But why???
The Tsara Retara Tzup has a front wheel and a five-speed manual transmission. At this stage of time, this car looks very sporty, which is not compliments. Tires and metal wheels are in front of you. Luxury ventilation trays are everywhere and I can’t get in for strange reasons. I’m too old to write this letter , but I’ll tell you what I can do. My friend, Mr. Liquor hasn’t opened yet, so what should we do. Now we have nothing I want to go to the Sahara Desert
Tea! This car can take you to the desert Sahara Car Locator is completely off. This is a good idea: the arrangement of 2+2 seats is best in terms of weight and economy. The car is equipped with high-quality discs, luxury leather seats and a high-quality sound system. It has a 1990s safety system and ABS brakes but the steering control system makes the car look like a bowling alley. Can you play with balloons in the Sahara Desert ? I know you’re not good at bowling. the suspension does not include adaptive dampers , has an incline angle of 2.6 degrees and weighs 759 pounds. In other words, suspension systems are less common.
Excellent rust resistance! This is clearly due to the absurd design of the chassis. This car is not safe. I see worse but the situation is worse. The 1970s weren’t bad. you don’t want to set foot in the Sahara desert, so why not turn Karas Letara Code into the right machine to explore the Sahara Desert? The exercise indicator is 11.7, which corresponds to the comfort indicator! For some reason, however, the overall score was over 12.2. Management wasn’t very good in the 1950s, but it was there. Who is Mr. Liu? The engine is named after him.
So the result
The 1916 truck engine wasn’t very pretty. Cars should be more energy efficient, more economical and usually of good quality. Did you know? Do you understand what I’m saying? Liu sanshu date of birth 1916? Are you 108? Anyway, uh… Bite, for example. Do you smoke there? I doubt it but he will go to hell. The devil who wants to burn himself can jump on him. After that, the devil realized that the engine did not develop 100 hp, but in front. The devil curses the code of Karasin, but don’t burn it. they locked it in hell.
We give you tips and suggestions to make it better next time!
- Why is the body and physical activity the same ? They don’t have to be the same.
- If you are preparing a car to cross the Sahara Desert, do not do so.
- Sugar 4 * 4 is ideal. However, a sealed ship is considered a good solution.
- Why do you Remember Liu’s truck without saying anything? I want to meet Liu.
- The low price is good, but despite the simple design, the maintenance cost is close to 1,000 USD.
7 Likes
“Code Karasin Sotaga: Who is Mr. Liu” sounds like some 90s game for Neo Geo, PC Engine or another obscure japanese console from the era…
1 Like
I mean, I think it could also be some obscure movie. Like The Matrix but shittier. Either way, we must find out who is Mr. Liu. This is the greatest mystery of Automation forums.
Vortex Délba-51
Car class 19
The car was built in 1951. Number of years
People drink ecstasy.! I am very sad. What’s happening? I’ve ruined everything.
Read also: What happened to your car? Is it a car or a pile of shit? I don’t know my name, man! You’re going to die tomorrow.
6 problem
Yes, it was 11 o’clock and I lost consciousness. What will happen. You know he’s drunk, I know he’s drunk. I mean, it’s made of tin, some kind of metal. 1951. Oh my God, guys! The car is at home, the mother of the spring sun is here. They said Hector sometimes abused alcohol, but he didn’t drink. This is a Jepsandir with a 17-liter and 12-liter engine. The torque is more than allowed by law and the Bible. The pressure sensor in the engine. Yes, yes, yes. Method 110 starts the damn gas. You can’t have such an ordinary gas station. Gas and all these are good things, does it meet modern emission standards? What should we do? Come with me, yes
As for the appearance… What exactly happened? I’m going to die tomorrow. Why is it called 51? From A.C. How much does it cost to remove 51? Can someone tell me what to do? That’s why I live here on a Friday morning, and someone does it, damn it, it’s hard. Thank God, I’ve experienced it myself. Is this a 12-day or 14-day ban? And he’s as big as his members.
Yes, no, the midist brothers, the rear wheels, the mechanisms. 942 Baby sling has lost 9 states, we have four steps, they are all blessed by God, damn it. The wheel turns. Drum brakes, guys! There are three good places, all right, right here. Phonograph, the year of Christ’s birth, 1951. But Jesus himself was wrong, and he lacked control over power. Does it weigh more than 2,000 kilograms and does not have power steering? For some reason? It would be nice to have parallel parking. Why did a parallel parking lot suddenly appear in the courtyard of the Mumbo? That’s a good question, a very good one. I don’t know, I’m just writing this nonsense.
It’s okay, let’s just talk about it.
This shit originally cost $778,500. I have a hangover and an empty wallet. The government does not recognize it as a police car. Can you drive? 0. Sport？ 0. Reliability？ 0 is good. This device will only be available tomorrow. From zero to what? Yes, it won’t cost $100, it’s too expensive and it’s terrible, I mean, hell turns into a reservoir of ecstasy for someone to enjoy your summer vacation and see you in hell with this garbage, damn it. Yes, I didn’t bring anything. Thank you. Headaches are like alcohol. I’m going to hell, Linda.
8 Likes
“Updates” happened. Try making the Body material world-space, not local.
No 
1 Like
my lovingly car 2
Mountain bike
Number of magazines 20
Car of the year. Starting from 2020. Year 2024. The difference in time is 4 years that we can predict…
Style: Stripes are car-style chrome and plastic. The color of French drinking water is for people who have experienced a difficult divorce in France or Spain.
Concept: Chinese style food moderna style retro car design. This car was bought by a modern single mother from the top floor she was also able to pay the maid. She can even afford a housewife.
This machine has no defects and is very good!
I have tea with Spanish men and women who are difficult to separate. Or he claims that this woman is of Spanish descent, but I don’t know. I have seen these photos, it may be France or Belgium. The engine drives several wheels of the car. What kind of bicycle? It’s no secret, haha.
The total capacity of the cold engine is 1.6 liters. The poor 1.6-liter engine has incredible power! 134 horsepower! Unfortunately, the small size of the exhaust pipe limits the maximum engine power. Part of the monocoque chassis is so unique that it guarantees the use of not only luxury cars, but also trucks!
This car has a total of 6 speeds, all of which are mechanical. Mechanically. 9. Go from 0 to 100 kilometers in 9 seconds. Incredible speed. The top speed exceeds 200 kilometers per hour. When a French (or Belgian) single mother drove on the road, she complained about the poor 1.6-liter engine. A French mother went to Germany with her children, and Spongebob and Patrick Star went with her. Children should have time to spend their lives. Since 7 seats are 7 seats, it has become 7 seats. Leather seats and other cool things, I don’t know. The steering wheel is as light as a feather and has a safety system.
Private.
Unfortunately, the cost of the car is in the range of 2000-8800, which means that the cost of the car is 2,000,020,800,800. The fuel consumption is only 100 liters per 7.7 kilometers, which is acceptable considering the size of the car. Patrick Star and SpongeBob players can also travel in French in the spacious check-in area. French tea is not exactly French tea. Why is this machine unreliable and meaningless? Anti-rust protection? And the main question is this? Will this car go to hell? Yes, but because Spongebob committed a crime, God left him in heaven. But this car is going to hell.
6 Likes
A brief overview of the last 20 cars.
I’ve complained 900 times. - @HelloHi
900 sobs is an amazing project. There are 18 options, but I really like them. The enormous engine is the soft color of an old American dune boat. The design of the wheels prevents you from hitting the pavement,this is an important safety measure that most automakers have not yet taken into account. However, sob900time is a very strong competitor.
Angle grinders for Oak - @azkaalfafa
The Grinder is a very special car. Because there are more doors than seats. The small one-liter engine was very sick. The lighting is still similar to 1913. French Cars. I saw The Shape of the bullet. Maybe if Kokatsu’s design team had been more diligent than the 1913 car.French cars would be better. Grindr is a car.You have to treat it like a car. That said, My initial decision to send grindra to hell still worked.
Molbosande 1. 9TDI - @Ludvig
This strange Hatchback has a diesel engine. As Jeremy Clarkson said, Diesel is the Devil’s fuel. How can Satan himself send a permitted car to heaven? Simple answer:I can not do it that.So Molbo Sande1. The 9tdi Sundeks Sport doesn’t have to be a bad car, but it’s not too good either. Therefore, we can still monitor the movement of Demons.Malabo Sande1. 9 in hell.
Bold Vivus versatility - @mart1n2005
Vivus Fleks has a characteristic yellow urine color. The Shape of the car is similar to a car. The problem with Vivus is nothing. It’s just a car. Why is it a car? Why doesn’t something cool happen? Maybe I should add more cup holders? I don’t know.I just do silly things. Anyway, have fun in the hell of vivus flex molbosande 1. 9tdi Sundex Sports is there waiting for you too in yellow.
Dhp hard Phone Clone - @Danicoptero
The famous mobile clone is loud. Not only that, but it also upset the UK and its citizens because it was so bad. The Queen of England will not even bother with a loud phone. They have to install all the toilets in the Queen’s Palace, to avoid accidentally exploding your phone. The entire recovery is funded by taxpayer money. I hope you take pride in using UK’s valuable rates. Burn it in hell. Famous men. Oh
Kamaki’s fate changed little. - @LS_Swapped_Rx-7
This is an ugly Disney actress and there is no handsome actor at the end of the film. The machine also has a big machine like sob900times. The difference between Kamaka Destiny and sob900times in sob900times is smooth, it has a great engine. The slightly modified Kamaka fate has a large, but not very appreciated engine. But the chrome detail is a subtle luxury feature and I love it.
George jaginjata - @izak
Jolksjagan Jatta car. It it is blue in color and has four wheels. His mother thought his car collection was good. Machines ask more questions than answers. JolksJagan Jatta’s giant Spoiler is completely useless, so this car looks like its first nursery. Oh yeahI redesign to taste."This guy put a big wing on jolksjogan Jatta’s back and I thought about it. Sorry Jolksjogan Jatta but it’s not true
Hope - @Vento
Qualified people are waiting for this. A car with a face that not even his mother liked. Waiting is what you expect. Or not really. It doesn’t seem to live up to that expectation. Small car? Yes.It almost there. The color is also a bit awkward. The main problem with this car is that people will look at me like me because I only have four seats. I’m sorry.I’m not stupid.
Autocar automatic V6 - @Restomod
This unique and elegant Dakar Rally Car is very unique and elegant. The range of elevated terrain is Masonic.Make it a useful tool. After working as a bricklayer, he drove his V6 across the Sahara. The V6 engine screams. Despite the shortcomings, Autocar V6 is very good.
- product information - @Djadania
Giattmobile Rizz Kai Cenat in Ohio is truly unique. There are no two-wheeled vehicles like this in the world. How to stop it when the Senate can’t afford a car like this. Ohio congressman Gyatt rizz is an unsuccessful attempt to do something new. I don’t like failed attempts.Because in most cases it fails for some reason. Rizz, Ohio - at lunchtime, rizz Gyattmobile will continue to explore the hills of fiery hell. God bless the Senators.Satan may invite senators to Southern Ohio hell
Rocket Racing - @lotto77
This stupid shit exists for a reason. What’s that? Failed Harlequin Golf Volksvagen attempt? God knows. Rocket race looks like a very nice car … It had nothing to do with it. There’s a reason rocket races have such a colorful death in hell. Yeah. Go to your mom’s rocket game, Burn!
Portrait bazaars in Ontario - @Edsel
The Ontario Bazaar maple appears to have been used for the transport of bricks. This is a vehicle designed for a specific purpose. Can a family travel to Clones in Ontario? Maybe if his family is made of bricks. How many families are made of bricks? Now tell me the truth. Yeah.I think so too. Not much, right? I don’t want clones in Ontario to die in hell. But I am afraid that a fiery death in Hell awaits them. Burn with all the bricks of the slaughterhouse
Selen GL - @ldub0775
Yeah.This car. Selene GL is a machine. It’s white and looks like a car. An outdated engine design combined with an unattractive driving experience is not so good, is it? The absence of everything means Selena G. very disappointed with L. This car must be sent to the gates of hell. Good luck lmao
Sidekik Opencart frequently asked questions - @Mikonp7
This practical Chinese car is the dream of every vegetarian. It’s a truck, but it’s like a freight bike. But will a Tennessee man buy a free Opencart sidekick? I can’t wait to find out. unfortunately, I’m not from Tennessee.tennessee doesn’t really know anyone. But Sidekik Opencart was a popular addition, and the world worried about the Ford F-150 and Chevrolet Silverado.HelloMr. Opencart!
Adam Faiza - @Knugcab
Adam Pfizer is yellow.such is the versatility of the brave vivus. Unfortunately, I urinated too much this time. The yellow number of the car is almost illegal. I’m not sure about the yolk recipe, but it is…I don’t think it’s illegal to have too much yellow without permission. As a license, you should get a lot of yellow. Either way, Adam Pfizer will burn in hell with his other yellow cousin Molbo Sande1. 9tdi Sundektext sports and bold Vivus flexibility good luck to you!The worst car may be lost.
Sablino motor sunrise1200e premium luxury - @shibusu
With a car like this, you don’t have to worry about cutting costs. This is a good feature of the car. The Carpenter was confused because the machine took the whole tree. The front box lid (or, as Tesla owners say, the California box lid) is not very wide. The once charming car is now full of pain and suffering. But the darkness is full of hope. It’s like a pink hue. Sablino Motors sunrise1200e high luxury is not that luxurious, but I believe that someday it will be more luxurious.
Soul fan - @SurrealCereal
I don’t know… It’s not a yellow car. Of course, the sablino motor sunrise 1200a high Deluxe still rusted, but the advanced rusted. It’s a bit like the Phoenix spirit. How do you think God got his hands on this car? Why don’t you destroy the soul of Fenja? Don’t worry, I won’t let you go to hell. The soul of Jesus goes to hell. Maybe I’ll meet Hwang Che. Yeah, it starts to look like a hell of a party and I feel abandoned.
Callas Letari ’ S - @kalan
I really don’t know what this strange room is. Toy cars? Sports car? Or a commercial coupe. I don’t even know. Why would you put such a weak engine in such an intensely designed coupe? He has an appearance.Let me put it another way. He has almost no appearance. This is weird. But if you don’t care about it, it’s still bullshit. Oh, it’s hard to understand now. Let’s go! Who’s Mr. Liu’s Garbage Truck? Sir. Liu Samoswar’s identity is a big secret and we need to know the truth. Army insomnia rules apply to Hell, no explanation needed. This is a car that the devil greeted with open arms.
Jacuzzi dilaba-51 - @moroza
This strange object is a tank. God bless the year 1951… But I don’t think God will bless the dielba-51 vortex. The math problem in the title gives it a unique and interesting look. How much is left if you subtract 51 from Direlbi? Because of my poor mathematics, Dilerba-51 will soon go to hell. Good luck with your life.You’re gonna die. Because hell is a hot and burning place but for example: there are already many cars waiting for you to come. If it does not burn, the pan
Montagne Le gonnet - @the-chowi
This practical French SUV is a popular choice among modern SUVs. The front wheels are very unique. Most cars have wheels, but it is not known how they work. The car is magical and the Montana Fourgonnette is a truly magical car. But, you know, I can’t forgive SpongeBob for what he did.God cannot forgive. Therefore, unfortunately, all four Montana castles were sent to hell. No.Just kidding.You will not regret it. Go to hellfrench women.
Let’s move on to the ranking with all the comments.
First place
And we have it as a final.
He won the bronze medal.
The rest are here.
Shared 7 place
It keeps moving
Last:
16 Likes
If you guys want to take a look at the actual rules, here you go.
They were originally written in Finnish, but I have also translated them to English. On the document there are few other Gibberish English translations as well.
5 Likes
You’re so nice to me.
1 Like
Could be worse, at least you’re not 7th.
2 Likes
Here we have the English reviews for each car.
This will come in multiple parts since there’s a 32000 character limit in posts.
Read at your own risk.
Sob 900 Times by HelloHi (Originally in Finnish, translated)
ENGLISH
Review number one
Sob 900 times
2012
Thought: the crying soul, the pink Swedish man, the wandering ghost, the bankrupt man. Depression, the night wolf. The lost dreams of a Swedish man.
At least 18 wrong choices
The Sob 900 times is very interesting. It has an 8 litre V12 engine, but its aerodynamics don’t match. The car fumbles in the smoky and lonely wilderness, its brakes don’t work. The engine as a whole is interesting. I don’t know of any car with an engine like this. It was interesting to see only two turbos in an engine of this size, and in a car of this size. When four turbos would have guaranteed better performance, and thus reached a smaller buying audience. The exhaust pipe of the car is also too small, and acts as a limiting factor in this case.
The exterior of the car surprises me. The pink colour is suspicious. Why would a Swedish man buy a pink car? The design of the car breaks the boundaries. It is astonishing. It makes you say WOW! WAWAWEE WAWAU WAPADADAU WOWDOWPOW!!! And WOW! People turn to watch as my ship-like car glides past them.
The car’s tyres are wide, that’s going to be a problem, but luckily the police have had their funding cut so they don’t have time to get involved. The car is capable of speeds of up to 660 kilometres per hour, but the vague gearbox limits the top speed to around 220 kilometres per hour. Zero to 60 takes more than 15 seconds, which is a lot for a car released in 2012. Off-road tyres ensure an uncomfortable and hungry ride. The 17-inch tyres understeer badly. This takes all the fun out of driving! The car’s seats are like the uncomfortable and hard chairs in a poor Swedish man’s apartment. They are not comfortable! But the car’s entertainment system is the best of Swedish quality. It puzzles me. Why spend money on the irrelevant when you could have spent it on the essential? The car’s safety systems are, in the Swedish way, good. That makes me happy. However, the angle of the car is shocking. Not only does it look like a ship, this car looks like it is floating like a ship on the open sea. The final nail in the coffin is the purchase price of over 35,000, although I specifically mentioned that 20,000 is a good price point. Also, the annual maintenance costs of over $4000 make me drown in despair and sadness.
Final solution.
The car’s eye-catching design comes at a price, and it’s too high. So I have to say no to this vehicle. Its ride comfort is poor and its drivability is poor. The large engine produces power, but it is not transmitted to the wheels. It is left to sail on the open sea, like a car. In this weather, this car will burn in the eternal flames of hell.
Original Finnish review
Arvostelu numero yksi
AUTO
2012
Ajatus: Itkevä sielu, pinkki ruotsalaismies, vaeltava aave, vararikossa rypevä mies. Masennus, yön susi. Ruotsalaisen miehen kadonneet haaveet.
Ainakin 18 väärää valintaa
AUTO on hyvin mielenkiintoinen. Siinä on 8 litrainen V12 moottori, mutta sen aerodynamiikka ei kohtaa. Auto hapuilee savuisessa ja yksinäisessä erämaassa, sen jarrut eivät toimi. Koko moottori on kokonaisuutena mielenkiintoinen. En tiedä yhtään autoa, jossa olisi tämänkaltainen moottori. Oli mielenkiintoista nähdä vain kaksi turboa tämän kokoisessa moottorissa, ja tämän kokoluokan autossa. Kun neljä turboa olisi taannut paremman suorituskyvyn, ja täten tavoittanut sankemman ostajakunnan. Myös auton pakoputki on liian pieni, ja toimii rajoittavana tekijänä tässä tapauksessa.
Auton ulkomuoto hämmästyttää minua. Pinkki väri on epäilyttävä. Miksi ruotsalainen mies ostaisi pinkin auton? Auton muotoilu rikkoo rajoja. Se on hämmästyttävä. Se saa sinut sanomaan WAU! WAWAWEE WAWAU WAPADADAU WOWDOWPOW!!! Ja WOW! Ihmiset kääntyy katsomaan, kun laivaan verrattavissa oleva autoni lipuu heidän ohitseen.
Auton renkaat ovat leveät, se tulee olemaan ongelma, mutta onneksi poliisin rahoitusta on leikattu, joten he eivät ehdi puuttua asiaan. Auto on valmis kulkemaan jopa 660 kilometriä tunnissa, mutta epämääräinen vaihteisto rajoittaa huippunopeuden noin 220 kilometriin tunnissa. Nollasta sataan kestää yli 15 sekunttia, joka on paljon autolle, joka on julkaistu vuonna 2012. Maastoon tehdyt renkaat takaavat epämukavan ja nälseän kyydin. 17 tuumaiset renkaat aliohjautuvat pahasti. Tämä vie autosta kokonaan ajamisen nautinnon! Auton penkit ovat kuin köyhän ruotsalaismiehen asunnon epämukavat ja kovat tuolit. Ne eivät ole mukavia! Mutta auton viihdejärjestelmä on parasta ruotsalaista laatua. Se kummastuttaa minua. Miksi käyttää rahaa epäolennaiseen, kun sen olisi voinut käyttää olennaiseen? Auton turvajärjestelmät ovat ruotsalaiseen tapaan, hyvät. Se ilahduttaa minua. Auton kallistuskulma on kuitenkin järkyttävä. Tämä ei vain näytä laivalta, tämä auto on kuin se kelluisi laivan tavoin avomerellä. Viimeisenä naulana arkun kanteen on yli 35000 ostohinta, vaikka eritoten mainitsin, että 20000 on hyvä hintaraja. Myös yli 4000 dollarin vuotuiset ylläpitokustannukset saavat minut hukkumaan epätoivoon ja suruun.
Lopullinen ratkaisu.
Auton katseita kääntävällä muotoilulla on hintansa, ja se on liian suuri. Näin ollen joudun kieltäytymään tästä kulkuneuvosta. Sen ajomukavuudet ovat hatarat, ja ajettavuus huono. Suuri moottori tuottaa tehoa, mutta se ei kulkeudu pyörille. Se jää seilaamaan avomerelle, auton tavoin. Näistä säistä, tämä auto palaa helvetin ikuisissa liekeissä.
Kokatsu Grinder by azkaalfafa
Review number two
CAR
2020 model year
Concept: Grinding SUV! Cool style November. City SUV, general city runabout.
Style: November rain, visualization of dying hopes and dreams. Gray homosexuality. Cars as wardrobes and closets.
There are 7 wrong choices.
Review:
The Grinder is not an interesting car. The engine is a mere one liter in size. The partial aluminum panels may provide lighter ride, but they lower the structural integrity of the car. I do however like the turbo of this car. It provides the pathetic engine with great power! 98.1 horsepower. That’s more than the French car from 1913, unfortunately, the lighting of the Grinder somewhat resembles a Torpedo. That’s a negative point for the otherwise great looking car. Unfortunately, the small engine of the Grinder, is screaming in pain and agony. It deserves better.
The design of the Kokatsu Grinder is modern. It’s refreshing. It may not look unique, but it is original. The color reminds me of November. Gray, chilling, cold. The design follows the November mood very well. Its unsavory design is like a sushi bar in a low-income neighborhood: surreal.
The pathetic engine manages to push out enough power to send the Grinder to the stratosphere. The top speed of nearly 200km/h is nothing short of impressive. However the 0 to 100km/h time of over 12 seconds is slow for a car this new. This car suffer a cruel and horrible death on the highway. The manual transmission provides ample sportiness, but at the cost of driving easiness. I do not want to jerk the gear stick at low speed traffic. If I have to get a car loan, I do not want to be jerking off the stick.
Despite having 5 doors, the car only seats 4. Why is that? Does the car break down if more than four people sit in it? We will never know. This is a very unfortunate drawback. A modern city SUV should be able to seat at least 5! A bigger city SUV shall have 7 seats. A minibus will need to have at least 9 seats, preferably 12 or more.
The car is safe and conforms to modern safety standards. The suspension is firm and steady. The low price tag of $13,400 was a positive surprise, unfortunately maintaining the car in good condition will get pricey due to low environmental resistance. If this car was a hamburger, it would be a cheeseburger without pickles. It offers more than a regular hamburger with pickles, but nyt by very much. And by removing pickles you compensate for your bad taste in cars. And in hamburgers.
Conclusion:
This car is a car. It’s a means of transportation. It only seats four which makes it less desirable for potential buyers. It’s a bit boring and a bit basic, but that doesn’t necessarily make it a bad thing. It won’t make anyone jealous but it will still attract thieves because of how new it is. With that being said, this car exists. But not for long. It will not burn in the eternal flames of hell, but it will not get to meet the never ending sunshine of heaven.
Molbo Sande 1.9 TDI Sundexxx Sport by Ludvig
My Lovable CAr 2
Molbo Sand - 1.9 DIESEL - Sun - dexxx - Sport
Year of car: 2012
Concept: Banging SUV, Cabriolet of dreams. Rear engine coupe. Off-road ready luxury convertible.
Style: Luxury monsoon style car, very important people transportation machine. Rear engine project. American DONK convertible.
3 incorrect solutions made
The Diesel Sander Molbing has a very impressive 1.9 liter engine. The displacement is large, but not outrageous. The engine provides high torque, but at the cost of horsepower. The engine is old, and weathered. The question is, why does such a new car utilize such an old engine? Do Americans hate leaving the past behind them? Is this car just an extension to the dying dream, of being free? Big questions, with such small answers. The turbo of this car might not be the biggest, but it provides the engine with tremendous amounts of boost, that gives the otherwise dull engine a little bit of spark. What I do not understand is, why does the car run on compressed gas? This is a great mystery to me. The exhaust does not limit the performance of the car, but the reason for that is because the engine manages to push out only pathetic 216 horses. The car is very loud, and rude.
The yellow color is sparkling. Like peeing in the dark. I do like the open top of the convertible, it lets those who are acquainted walk on the sidewalk, to see the luxurious wood-leather-premium interior of my vehicle. I enjoy the rear facing rear seats, but I do not understand, why are the rear doors front hinged, when suicide doors would have given the rear passenger more space to step in their private vehicle. This is a massive oversight from the designers of this convertible. The big wheels, coupled to the big rims, give the driver and the passenger a sense of luxury. It reminds them how stable their lives are. It radiates wealth. The all wheel drive system allows me to drive on the roads less traveled. With the big tires I can overcome any obstacle with relative ease. However the automanual transmission, which has six gears, has me scratching my head. Why not just go with a proper automatic? This makes it seem like I, as the owner of this vehicle, can not make hard decisions. Do I go manual or automatic? I can’t decide!!! I’ll just combine the two options and go with an automanual. Bit of automatic, bit of manual. Not good!!!
The torque filled engine manages to get the car to 100km/h in 9.2 seconds, by increasing the horsepower of the car, you would’ve gotten a better throttle response, and higher acceleration. The top speed is 242 kilometers per hour, this is impressive, but in the German Autobahn you will be overtaken by the 2012 Ferrari 458 Italia, which is a direct competitor of this car. Unlike the Ferrari, this car has 25 inch rims, which will make the drivers of the most expensive Ferraris jealous.
The fuel consumption is nothing to brag about, but it is not terrible either. The undertray of this car is there. Which further increases the capability of this off road oriented convertible SUV. The interior has the plush comfort of Chevrolet Express, which I like. You will fall asleep in the backseat, because it will feel like you are floating, in heaven. Where the sunshine is eternal, and you will greet it with a smile, instead of annoyance. The car had hydraulic power steering, which provides you with small turning circle, despite the enormous size of the car. The suspension is nothing short of remarkable! It’s innovative with its design. It nearly levitates. Wealth surrounds this car.
I liked the low purchase price of the Molbo Sander, however the yearly maintenance bill is over $2500, which will make me go bankrupt, given the low reliability of the vehicle. The car will be full of rust within two years. A rusty car makes me seem poor. Would you rather drive a rusty Bentley, or a clean Nissan. I would choose the Nissan.
Conclusion
The Sanding Molbo is a car that costs little to buy, but you will spend a fortune owning it. It’s best to lease a Molbo Diesel Sand car. However, because I am not looking to lease a car, I will not consider the Diesel Sand Molbing convertible. I want to be seen as a man, who can make decisions. Unfortunately, the Molber Sand Convertible does not support my lifestyle. I am forced to rule out the car. But don’t be afraid, I will not be sending this car to the eternal firepits of hell. However it will not be meeting the enjoyable sunshine of heaven. You may ask, why is that? It’s simple. Because the car couldn’t decide where it wanted to go.
Valiant vivus Flex by mart1n2005
My Lovingly Car 2
Valiant Viva Flex
Model year, 1998
Concept: Sedan, subcompact sedan. Vehicle for the young drivers and for the regular sized families. 90s economy in a compact package.
Style: Yellow goober, sedan of dreams. Man in a marriage with no spark.
2 Wrong Choices
The Flex Vivus is equipped with a 1.8 liter inline 4 engine. The engine might not seem all that big, but we need to keep in mind the compact 2.6 meter wheelbase of the car. The engine is nearly a decade older than the car itself. The 8 valve SOHC construction was already dated in 1998. Despite all this, the engine manages to push out a whopping 95 horsepower. The torque readings are not all that impressive, but given that it’s a 1990s economy sedan, they don’t have to be. The engine is very conservative, it doesn’t surprise you in any way. The circumference of the exhaust pipe has been left untouched, which is a sign of sloppy engineering work. The engine offers basic reliability without sacrificing the loudness. With the quiet engine, riding at slow speeds should be relatively enjoyable.
The piss yellow color was a bold choice. The designer could not know whether or not the color choice would make the driver dance and sign, full of joy. Or whether it will make the driver cry and suffer. In this case, it did not make me cry or suffer. But it did not make me dance and sing, full of joy. The color choice was rather poor. I would have gone with something that keeps up with the conservative design of the engine. The exterior design of the car should be an extension of the engine stylistics.
The car comes with front wheel drive and a 5 speed manual transmission. This is very normal for a car this age, and of this segment. Buying such a car today will not require a bank loan, and it will not make me go bankrupt. However we have to keep in mind, the reliability of an old car, is not as impressive as the reliability of a brand new car. The electric power steering is a bold choice. That was very progressive in 1998. This is a weird choice given the conservative and laid back exterior design. The safety systems of this car are top notch. In the event of an unplanned car crash, you will most likely not die. For a person who enjoys life, this is a good thing. However if you live in agonizing misery, such a safe car will most likely not be their first choice. The car has a maximum load capacity of 328 kilograms. This is absolutely not enough. You can not even fit four people in the car, without the suspension collapsing.
Despite being an older car, it does the job very well. The comfort is great for its age, and features. The car is easy to drive despite the manual. However, I am afraid that the electric power steering will make the car soulless and dry. Would you rather explore the space, with great interest. Or would you rather, sit in the grass and watch a brick wall?
The service costs of this car are very reasonable, at just a few cents over $665. The purchase price in 1998, was low. This gives it a low resale value 20 years later, which will be a good thing for me because I can not time travel back to 1998 to buy this car. I would have to buy it used. But then comes the question, do I want to buy an used car? Which I will now answer. Frankly, I do not know.
Despite the solid construction of the car, it might not be the perfect car for me. The rust proofing is very good, and the reliability is on par with newer cars. I especially liked the rear wiper, which allows me to back out of a parking space with ease. I can see the driver of the big SUV, who’s tailgating on the highway.
Conclusion
This is a very good car, but it might be too boring for me. It’s very predictable. It’s the obvious choice you make. Safe, reliable, good to drive and comfortable. This car will not burn in hell, but it will not get a tan in the sun. It will roam the green fields of Scotland. The hills and stone walls of England. The biggest enemy of this car, is the car itself. Aside from rather high fuel consumption, there are not too many things wrong with the car. And that’s what somewhat worries me.
DPH The Loudmobile Clone by Danicoptero
My Lovingly Car 2
DHP The Loud mobile Clone
Danicoptero
Model year, 2020 - new
Concept: Transporter for the Queen of England. Hyperpatriotic supercar. Showcase of United Kingdom.
Style: British racing car, luxury touring. Retromodern technology showcase
11 Wrong Choices
The loudmobile is supposedly a new car, despite this, it still utilizes an old fashioned ladder frame. In the current year - 2023, even trucks have started using unibody construction. The car is straight out of 1913 with its strange suspension and all-steel body and frame. The engine, 6.8 liter V12 produces a whopping 530 horsepower and 515 newton meters of torque. However all this power is made absolutely useless by a power curve that resembles a mountain, and with the peak power nearing the redline. However the engine has no limiting factors, which allows it to unleash maximum power! Unfortunately, due to the lack of catalytic converters I will not be allowed to drive this vehicle on the public roads. It will have to stay in the roads where police funding has been cut the most - small side roads. Rural exploration of the country. Which this car is absolutely not suitable for.
Despite the high power output, the 0 to 100 kilometer time is 5.5 seconds. For a car that’s supposed to be showcasing the greatness of the country of Britain, it is rubbish. The car comes with a manual transmission, which is not very advanced. It would be ideal for the entire country of Great Britain for this car to use the most advanced technological systems, in order to show the world how superior British cars are. The theme of the car is steel, the steel wheels do not emit any sense of greatness. The loud mobile has truly proven to be a disappointment for the country of Britain, giving its people nothing but sorrow. The interior of the loudmobile is very barebones as it doesn’t even have a radio. One might say it’s for weight reduction, but the loudmobile weighs over 1600 kilograms. This piece of raw steel does not even have any sort of traction aids, or safety systems. Despite all this, the car has been given variable electric power steering. I can only ask, why? WHY???
Now, you might think the loudmobile outclasses its rivals in other categories, such as fuel economy or reliability. It does not. The fuel consumption of the loudmobile is at impressive 48.1 liters per 100 kilometers. That is absolutely outrageous. The mobile is more unreliable than an Austin Princess, if it was made by the Italians.
Despite only having one seat, the loud mobile is designed to carry over 550 kilograms. I have never met such a fat man in my entire life, but that can be explained given that I have never been to America. The loudmobile costs nearly $20000, it will break down and rust. It is unsafe, uncomfortable, uneconomical, and undrivable! The cost to service this car is over $2300, not included the added costs from the lack of rustproofing.
Conclusion
The car tried to make Britain great again. However I can not emphasize enough on how stupid this car is. It has brought shame to the country of Great Britain and its citizens. Because of this car, the Queen of England was forced to change the name of Great Britain to Shit Britain. The Queen of England has sentenced this car to burn in hell, where it belongs. It shall never see the light of day again. It doesn’t deserve to exist in any form. The country of Shit Britain is ashamed of this creation, and so am I. You should be ashamed. May the loudmobile burn in hell, never to be seen again. Amen.
Kamaka Destiny slighty modified by LS_Swapped_RX7
My Love Car 2
slight modification in Kamaka and Destiny
LS_Swapped_Rx7
The year of the car is 1980
Concept: Forgotten dreams of a child who has their hopes up. A project sold for the hopes of a better future
Style: Sedan in the country of Japan. Bus meets car in Japan
1 incorrect solutions
The Kamaka of Destiny is a very unique car, with its 13.5 liter V10 engine. The engine is like straight from a truck or a bus. Perhaps even a larger than average American sedan. The engine produces measly 350 horsepower but the torque ratings are over 1200 newton meters! When pushing the engine to the limit, you can feel the Japanese power.
When looking at the exterior of the car, you can notice a subtle and elegant Japanese design. The chrome trim that goes around the windows give the car a sense of luxury. The rear is elegant and luxurious. Unfortunately, the front suspension has collapsed under the weight of the engine. This is indeed a drawback. The steelie wheels do not evaporate the same sense of luxury as the rest of the car. The car has rear wheel drive, however it has a continuously variable transmission. That completely kills the joy of driving the car. However the acceleration is impressive at 11.5 seconds. The Destiny of Kamaka suffers from major understeer, most probably because of the heavy weight of the engine. Perhaps a smaller engine would have solved this issue.
The interior of the car is nothing to brag about. The seats are uncomfortable and the entertainment system is very basic. The car is very safe, however the fuel consumption is atrocious! 57.6 liters per 100 kilometers! How are you supposed to drive this car, you’ll always be at the gas station! The car weights over 1700 kilograms, yet it still has no power steering. WHY IS THIS? ANSWER ME!
The cost to purchase the Destiny in Kamaka is only 16000 dollars, however the yearly service costs are over 7400! How am I supposed to own this car? And the car will be covered in rust in just a few years. The price to own this car is way too high.
Conclusion
The Kamaka is safe for its age. The big engine adds a prestigious feeling to the car. However it rusts and it’s uncomfortable. Owning this car will make you cry. The turning circle has to be atrocious! This car shall burn in hell, but I think it will rust before it gets there. This is one of the worst cars I have ever seen. I got severe brain damage from just looking at it.
JolgJagan Jatta by izak
my palpable car 2
JolksJagan Jatta
This vehicle was made in 1991
Concept: Luxury car transporting mafia bosses and CEOs. Detective’s ordinary looking transportation machine.
Style: premium transportation, secret service car in America.
2 incorrect solutions
The Jolksjogging Jatta features full aluminum bodywork. This is an interesting solution for a car created in 1991. But the confusing engineering choices don’t end there. The chassis is equipped with corrosion resistant steel, which is oftentimes seen on offroaders. The engine is small and pesky 1.1 liter inline 4. It only has 8 valves despite the dual overhead cam engine. The engine is equipped with a turbo that gives it enormous amounts of boost. As Jeremy Clarkson said, speed and power. This car, however, will make Mr. Jeremy Clarkson cry, because the pesky engine only manages to push out 102 horsepower. The premium German engine is equipped with a direct injection system. However despite its european roots the car runs on regular fuel, instead of premium.
The car comes with luxurious aluminum wheels and comfortable soft tires. The fog lights in the front allow me to see forwards even in the dark. The spoiler provides tremendous downforce, but why? The car does not have tremendous speed, so the spoiler only adds unnecessary extra weight. In order to reach the speed of 100km/h, you will have to wait for over 14 seconds. The rear wheel drive layout is coupled to a luxurious 5-speed automatic.
The leather seats are sumptuous, and offer me great driving comfort. With the luxurious CD player, I can listen to my favorite artists. The tall antenna in the front gives me good radio reception in the forests, so I can go camping often. The is safe with ABS brakes and top notch safety systems. All this technology comes with a price, $18,900. Whilst it is not outrageous, it could be less. The yearly maintenance costs are $1300, however the aluminum panels provide the car with good rust proofing. Unfortunately, the sub par reliability means the car will have to be maintained more often.
Conclusion
The Jattawagon Jatta is a comfortable sedan, unfortunately the lack of rear wiper and the massive spoiler make reversing from tight spots a miserable job. Even with the automatic transmission the car is very bad to drive. However the comfortable interior and the CD player alleviate my misery. This car will be bought and then left sitting in a parking garage, because the owner does not want to fix it. With that being said, the JattaJatta does not burn in hell, because the owner forgot to send it to hell. With that out of the way, I am forced to say that this car is not my lovable dream car.
Tips to make you more successful the next time
- Including a spoiler in a car with such low power output is unnecessary, it only adds extra weight, thus making the car slower.
- Cars in this segment should have bigger engine, that produces more power.
- The regular fuel is useless since in Europe, we only have premium.
- The great power of the German empire is not present in this car, this is a major drawback for the people of Germany. I can not imagine this car being a top seller.
Capable Expect by Vento
my palpable car 2
JolksJagan Jatta
This vehicle was made in 1991
Concept: Luxury car transporting mafia bosses and CEOs. Detective’s ordinary looking transportation machine.
Style: premium transportation, secret service car in America.
2 incorrect solutions
The Jolksjogging Jatta features full aluminum bodywork. This is an interesting solution for a car created in 1991. But the confusing engineering choices don’t end there. The chassis is equipped with corrosion resistant steel, which is oftentimes seen on offroaders. The engine is small and pesky 1.1 liter inline 4. It only has 8 valves despite the dual overhead cam engine. The engine is equipped with a turbo that gives it enormous amounts of boost. As Jeremy Clarkson said, speed and power. This car, however, will make Mr. Jeremy Clarkson cry, because the pesky engine only manages to push out 102 horsepower. The premium German engine is equipped with a direct injection system. However despite its european roots the car runs on regular fuel, instead of premium.
The car comes with luxurious aluminum wheels and comfortable soft tires. The fog lights in the front allow me to see forwards even in the dark. The spoiler provides tremendous downforce, but why? The car does not have tremendous speed, so the spoiler only adds unnecessary extra weight. In order to reach the speed of 100km/h, you will have to wait for over 14 seconds. The rear wheel drive layout is coupled to a luxurious 5-speed automatic.
The leather seats are sumptuous, and offer me great driving comfort. With the luxurious CD player, I can listen to my favorite artists. The tall antenna in the front gives me good radio reception in the forests, so I can go camping often. The is safe with ABS brakes and top notch safety systems. All this technology comes with a price, $18,900. Whilst it is not outrageous, it could be less. The yearly maintenance costs are $1300, however the aluminum panels provide the car with good rust proofing. Unfortunately, the sub par reliability means the car will have to be maintained more often.
Conclusion
The Jattawagon Jatta is a comfortable sedan, unfortunately the lack of rear wiper and the massive spoiler make reversing from tight spots a miserable job. Even with the automatic transmission the car is very bad to drive. However the comfortable interior and the CD player alleviate my misery. This car will be bought and then left sitting in a parking garage, because the owner does not want to fix it. With that being said, the JattaJatta does not burn in hell, because the owner forgot to send it to hell. With that out of the way, I am forced to say that this car is not my lovable dream car.
Tips to make you more successful the next time
- Including a spoiler in a car with such low power output is unnecessary, it only adds extra weight, thus making the car slower.
- Cars in this segment should have bigger engine, that produces more power.
- The regular fuel is useless since in Europe, we only have premium.
- The great power of the German empire is not present in this car, this is a major drawback for the people of Germany. I can not imagine this car being a top seller.
6 Likes
Avtocar Autocar V6 by Restomod
my loving car 2
Avtocar Autocar V6
restomod
The car was made in 1970 or 1984
Concept: Dakar rally in the game of dakar rally racing, rally car racing in the rally
Style: offroad coupe, french car coupe vehicle. Sports Coupe Car. Automobile with the name of car.
5 incorrect solutions
The autocar is equipped with a 2.7 liter V6 engine. The engine is powerful, since it produces 160 horsepowers, and 213 newton meters of torque. The block itself is made of cast iron, but the head is made of aluminum. This is a very interesting choice, given the age of the car. Which is a lot, since this is an old car. The car is unfortunately not equipped with a turbocharger. A turbocharger would’ve offered plenty of extra power. The exhaust only limits the engine output by a little, by increasing the exhaust diameter you could’ve unleashed the true power of this car.
The first thing you’ll notice when looking at the autokar is the puke green color. It mimics the British green of the DPH the LoudMobile, but it does it very badly. This is a massive mistake from the developer of the avatacar. The car has sleek and aerodynamic design, the popup headlights minimize the air resistance of the vehicle. During the night, the popup headlights will pop up. The round auxiliary lights provide great amounts of shine, to the desert dunes.
The car has suicide doors, which makes me wonder, why? The auto car only has two seats, so suicide doors serve no purpose whatsoever. The rear window has a beautiful plastic rear window grille equipped. This block direct sunlight coming from upwards, but still allows me, as a driver, to see what’s happening behind me. In the rear we have a total of eight reversing lights.That’s quite a lot, in the rally you are supposed to drive forwards, not backwards. I especially liked the mudflaps, they will help me keep my autocar clean even when driving on muddy and dirty surfaces.
The car has a manual with many gears, total of five. The zero to one hundred kilometer time is 7.4 seconds, which is very fast! I like the speed of the car, it will allow me to win the desert dakar rally. The rims have a diameter of 16 inches which is big. Especially considering how old this car is, the rim size is definitely one of the many issues this car suffers from. Unfortunately if I burst a tire, replacing them will be expensive since the rear wheels are wider than the front wheels. The sporty lightweight interior gives me a sporty feeling when driving the car. And with the cassette player, I can listen to my favorite cassette songs. The car even has traction control and anti-lock brakes.
The roll angle is very low, at only 2.6 degrees. The suspension is designed to carry over 600 kilograms, so I can fit two passengers and 400 kilograms of bricks. This car is every bricklayer’s dream. Unfortunately the fuel economy of 13.6 liters per 100 kilometers make this car undesirable for commercial use.
Conclusion
The automobile car is reliable for what it is - a sports dakar racer. It costs $18,900 which is quite a lot, it will not let me save too much money. The yearly maintenance cost of the autocar dakar sportscar is over $1170. This coupled to the terrible fuel economy and bad rust protection, means the autocar is not an ideal car for me. However I will not be sending it to burn in hell. But don’t celebrate victory yet, as this car will not get to see the heavenly gates of heaven. This car will keep being driven by bricklayer’s, who want to partake in the Egyptian dakar rally in the Sahara desert. The sahara desert is where the home of this car is. It born there, and it shall die there. Another great name for the car, would be the Sahara Desert Dakar Rally Racecar V6.
Ohio Rizz - Kai Cenat Gyattmobile by Djadania
my loved car 2
Kai Cenat - Ohio - Riz
This car is: New - 2020
Concept: Italian style microcar exploring the american dream. Transportation in the state of Ohio. Showcasing modern hypertechnology. Kai Cenat is from Europe.
Style: Bouncy ball car. Jizz from Ohio. Kai Cenat as a car designer.
12 incorrect solutions
The Kai Cenat’s Ohio Rizzmobile is a very small car. The wheelbase being only 1.2 meters, a tall man or a big man won’t comfortably fit in it. The car, despite being brand new - 2020, uses old fashioned ladder chassis and all steel construction. In the front Kai Cenat has a lovely, modern double wishbone suspension. But in the back, you have an old fashioned solid coil axle suspension. You usually this kind of engineering choices in a large American truck. But since the Rizz and Ohio is from America, I understand the hesitation towards modern technology.
The engine is all American V8, however the hate towards the American shows. Does Kai Cenat hate Ohio and America? When looking at the 785cc V8, I think he does. The block is cast iron, as an American V8 should be. But the heads are made of aluminum. This goes to show Mr. Cenat’s deep hatred towards the state of Ohio. Despite having eight cylinders, the engine produces measly 26 horsepower. 62.9 newton meters of torque might seem acceptable at a glance, but we have to remember, this car has a V8 engine. A V8 engine is supposed to show how great America is! This car does not show any signs of greatness. Despite having a V8, the car only has one exhaust, instead of having dual exhaust pipes. Dual exhaust shows everyone that people in America can count to two. Can they really? I don’t know. Maybe they can, or maybe they can’t?
The car has a wonderful 8-speed dual clutch transmission. This goes to show the greatness of America. But once again the ground breaking transmission is ruined by the front wheel drive. Although, the Kai Rizz Ohio only has one axle. So it should be called 1-axle drive instead of front wheel drive. The naming will only confuse potential buyers of the Cenat Rizz Kai. The 0-100km/h time is exactly 30 seconds. The top speed is only 130km/h. This car most definitely does make America great. The rims are made out of bare steel. This adds unnecessary weight to Kai Cenat and Ohio in Rizz.
The fuel consumption is only 3 liters per 100 kilometers. For someone living in Europe, this is good. But an American car, like the Cenat Ohio, does not need to have such a good fuel economy. The car can afford to consume more fuel. It merely even sips anything, it should drink! It should drown! With never ending thirst. The interior of the Ohio Cenat is luxurious, to say. The seats are made out of real animals, that no longer live. This is a minus point, since a vegan can not drive this car. One of their animal friends has been killed, just so you can sit in comfort. What is comfort anyway? It’s just a feeling, produced by our buttcheeks flirting with the seats. Because the Ohio Cenat Rizz is very small car, even modern safety systems can’t make it safe. By driving the Ohio, you are doomed to die. Your death will not be graceful, as you will be in this car. The suspension is lackluster. I do not have any idea, how anyone could drive this car. Not only will vegans hate, the American people also gate you. And the gays will hate you for being stupid.
The Cenat Ohio Rizz costs $15,400. This is acceptable, for a car. But this is not even quadricycle. This is a twocycle as it only has two wheels. Why have two wheels instead of four? The two-wheel construction makes servicing the car extremely expensive. The yearly maintenance costs exceed $1000. With the soddy rust protection, the Rizzzz like Cenat is guaranteed to be worthless the very moment you drive off the Ohio Cenat dealer lot.
Conclusion
Due to high-ish purchase cost, high service costs, low rust protection, low safety and the non-vegan friendly interior design, the Cenat will be sent rolling towards hell. Naturally that’s the only place this car go. Have you ever tried rolling a stone uphill? By sending it fast enough, it will make progress, but eventually the stone will fall back down. Further away from the mountain peak. In this case, even if I wanted to send the Cenat Rizz to heaven, where Godly light shines, I can’t. It will only roll down all the way hell, where it’s greeted with Satan’s eternal flames.
Remarks
- By adding more wheels, you can make the car more desirable.
- It’s important to think about vegans, when designing a car. You obviously failed at this task.
- An American car needs to feel American. This car feels Italian, and Italians hate Americans. Why? Because they don’t like New York style pizza.
- There is no additional luggage space in the Ohio Kai Rizz. A roof rack would’ve helped you solve this problem. Alternatively a bigger car would’ve also answered all your problems.
Selene GL by ldub0775 (two reviews)
I actually wrote a review for this car, forgot I wrote a review and then wrote another. Here you have the one I used. The other one is at the bottom.
My Lovings towards The Car 2
Review 13
Selene GL
The Car in 1995.
Style: Car. Sedan. Automobile of all time. Pathetic car. Man who likes Phil Collins. I like Phil Collins too. This car sucks ass.
Concept: Battle array in the car dealership! Attacker of hopes and dreams. Opposite of your last dying wish.
I look at the clock. It’s not even 5am. Yet I am still hearing complaints regarding my review speed. The complaints are understandable, after all it has been some time. I slumber towards my computer, where I have a nice, warm beer waiting for me. Am I mentally ready for what I’m about to experience? No. But sometimes you need to overcome your fears. I have a big heart. The information regarding The Car is here. The world is not ready for this. Selene GL. Congratulations.
The chassis - Shit. It will rust. The car is made out of bare steel. I take a sip from the warm beer. It tastes like suffering. I bought cheap beer. The suspension is very basic. It is more comfortable than an excavator, but not by much. The pathetic 1.2 liter inline 4 engine makes the Selene GL car very slow and pathetic. The engine only makes 45 horsepowers. That is not enough for a car. Despite its simplistic construction, the engine is very unreliable. Just like my review schedule. The engine power peaks at 4900 revs. It’s low, reminds me of a diesel. But diesels are actually useful, as they have tremendous torque. The car, Selene GL has shit torque. 88 newton meters of torques, at 3000 revs. It is a pathetic engine, for a pathetic car. You have lost the will to live. The poor exhaust system is suffering from the tremendously shit engine. It’s crying. Just like me.
When I first time saw the car, Selene GL, I died. I died of boredom. It makes me want to cry. It is so boring, so sufferious. So white. Unlike the delicious, it’s more of a yellow -ish. Burn orange? Perhaps. The Selene GL car is trying to seem more luxurious than it is. However the 2.5 meter wheelbase doesn’t ooze luxury to the passersby. The five speed manual transmission is very bad. Shit, you could say. The 0 to 100 time? 20 seconds. Awful, dreadful. The tires are uncomfortable, just like the interior. How did the engineers at Selene manage to make the GL so uncomfortable? We will never know, as the engineers died of boredom whilst designing the car. None of them are around anymore. I doubt the funerals were too fancy, they all probably real boring lives. Which is how they managed to come up with such a boring car. If nothing cool happens in your life, can you call yourself a cool person? I know the answer, no you can’t.
The steelie wheels are reminiscent of the past. Why? Do you want to be seen as a poor person? With the Selene GL, you do. You want everyone to know how miserable you are. You have no sex life, no salary, no friends. You may have a wife, but if you do she is definitely real ugly. 14 inches? Definitely not in your pants, but the wheels. You have been cucked by your own car.
I glance at the clock. Still not even 5am. I am working at tremendous speed. I am consuming alcohol. It is making me work faster. The cassette player inside your car will remind you of your shitty life. You don’t even listen to cassettes. All your life you have been to Phil Collins. He’s not a bad musician, no. He’s one of the best. But you know, isn’t it time for a change? We have other musicians as well, Phil Collins ain’t the only one. Besides, what kind of person has 17 Phil Collins cassettes? They’re the exact same cassettes. They have the same fucking songs inside. Why do you need 17 copies of one and same cassette? Next time pick someone like Rick Astley. Or Toto, he has many good songs. Not just Africa. I like Hold the Line. It’s powerful.
Despite weighing over 1100 kilograms, the Selene GL car has no power steering. You will die if you are old. The safety systems are shit. Just like the car. I were surprised that it had ABS brakes. Clearly the engineers were confused. The purchase price is low. Barely over $7000. With seven grands I would rather buy a gun and shoot myself than live with the fact that I bought a Selene GL. Car. An Automobile. Despite the low purchase, ownership costs will quickly add. Not only the value deprecation, but also the maintenance costs. Nearly 700 a year just to keep your Selene GL, car, on the road. You have to be a sad and pathetic person to drive the Selene GL. It’s like an airport rental car, so white, so boring, so pathetic. Tremendously average. Aggressively standard. Pathetically mediocre.
Conclusion
The Selene GL may be a car. Studies have shown that a car is indeed a car. Is the Selene GL a car? Is the Selene GL a Selene GL? Perhaps. The rust issues are a great concern. In two weeks the car will be nothing but rust, which is why Norwegians hate the Selene GL. Car. The fuel consumption is good, and that’s the only good thing regarding The Car, Selene GL. The Car, Selene GL, is everything that’s wrong with our society. Even airports hate him. The employees cry when they need to look at the Selene GL, car, rental car. This car manages to be so aggressively mediocre. It doesn’t even deserve the honor to be called mediocre. Or average. It should be called shit instead. May the engineers of the Selene GL rest in peace. No, I take that back. Let me try again, may the engineers of the Selene GL rest in mediocrity. The engineers do not go to hell, instead the car they produced will go to hell. With that being said, the car, Selene GL will burn in hell. The burning will be very boring. Bit mediocre, just like the car. Burn in hell, stupid shitfuck. The beer tastes wonderful. I am tipsy. It is finally over 5 am.
Unused review that I forgot I wrote.
Selene GL
ldub
Concept: A car. An automobile for transporting people. Sedan for the ordinary people, not for the important people.
Style: Standing up against the government, having strong opinions on a low budget. A car that was banned in Russia.
The Selene GL is equipped with a small and measly 1.2 liter inline 4 engine. The engine is from 1995, however the single overhead cam design feels somewhat outdated for a sedan of this size. The 8-valve design compliments the simple engine design. It gives you good torque but bad horsepower. When looking closer at the numbers, the torque 88.8 newton meters at 3300 revs per minute. However, the Selene only manages to push out 45.2 horsepower. This is a rather poor number for a mid-90s sedan. The Selene brand should definitely do better. The engine quality isn’t good either. The Selene is made to be a car, and it fails miserably at doing that. The task of being a great car was too hard for the Selene GL. Should we wish him the best in life? No. We should not. It uses outdated engine technology, with below average looks. Is it well detailed? Perhaps. Does it look unique? Perhaps a heavy no. It looks like a car. An car, one could say. The off-white paint makes it seem like a fleet version of a higher end car. I could imagine this car with metallic paint and leather seats. Perhaps a fancy stereo system. But it lacks all off that. It only needs a black plastic bumpers for maximum depression. Whoever buys the Selene GL is a sad person.
The 0 to 100 time is terrible. I can’t even mention it, I will faint. The car has manual transmission which makes driving the Selene GL intriguing. The 14-inch tires scream poorness to me. Does it make you poor, though? I will answer the big question, the answer is yes. Fuck you dumb poor 14-inch rim fuck. Moving on, the brakes are top notch! Good job by Selene manufacturer.
The interior offers comfort. Great comfort? No. But adequate comfort. A cassette player is already getting outdated by the time of release. Is this what the president wanted? I highly doubt. Perhaps the Selene GL engineers will be sent to the guillotine. However, the Selene GL is not French so perhaps they will be given the right to stay alive. The car has ABS brakes, yet it is equipped with manual rack and pinion steering. WHY? WHY IS THIS? Do the Selene GL engineers hate gym memberships? This car makes me think they do. And even the ABS brakes are shit! SHIT I SAY!!! SHIT!!! Fuck you honestly. Right, moving on… Suspension? Okay. Not good, but okay. The ride comfort is adequate, it’s not particularly easy to drive, it’s not too sporty either. But it is economy.
Moving on to the conclusion,
The Selene GL doesn’t offer much. It’s not good to drive, not sporty. Not comfortable. It is somewhat reliable. However, due to the low safety score and the extremely low rust resistance, this car is far from perfect. Sure it only costs a tad bit over $7000, but even that is too much. The acceleration time is dangerous. This car is simply too slow. This is a car that stupid people buy, and 8 years later you can find these cars at the scrapyards. The condition will be shit, as a simple rain will make the Selene GL shower in rust.
With that being said, I can not send this car to heaven. The eternal sun of heaven will make the car rust. I am forced to send this car to hell, where it will burn until it dies. I am afraid, but this is the decision I am forced to make. I am not necessarily sorry about the decision. This car wasn’t that good after all. Maybe next time try making a good car haha.
Rocket Racer's Car by lotto77 (this is a good one, must read!)
Rocket Racer Car
Revie 11
Lotto
Style: STUPID FUCK IT’S NOT EVEN A CAR, WHAT IT IS??? WHAT IS THIS???
Concept: Probably DUMB FUCK CAR!! DUMB FUCK CONCEPT
11 wrong decisions
This car is DUMB! DUMB DUMB DUMB! I DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT!!! The engine is DUMB! It is 0.8L like the Daewoo Matiz. The Daewoo Matiz was a DUMB CAR!!! The engine is race oriented, unlike the Daewoo Matiz. After all, the Daewoo Matiz is a good car. This thing is a shit car. The engine is pathetic. Whilst the engine does make tremendous power, we must keep in mind, it is shit.
The exterior is colorful. Not necessarily in a good way. This car is like homosexuality, full of colors, and banned in China. The design is bland and it doesn’t really speak to me. I enjoy it when me and my partner can talk. This car is not suitable partner with me, as the car has no mouth. We can not have conversation regarding cooking. How do I cook us a meal if I can not get any opinion from my car??? I will just ask you that! This is a great mistake the designer made. Despite the Daewoo Matiz-y engine, the car is fast. 7 seconds to 100 kilometers per hour. The top speed is nearly two hundred kilometers per hour. Very nice! the sequential gearbox quickly makes the car expensive, not good. Unfortunately, the car oversteers heavily.
The interior is confusing me. The layout is too basic, yet it has very luxurious equipment. One seat, why? The comfort score is a solid zero, yet the car is prestigious. This makes the car feel like a luxurious Daewoo Matiz. Are legos South Korean? We don’t know. But what we do know, this car is DUMB!!! The car has variable electric power steering. Why? It is SHIT to drive which makes the car dumb. It has no safety features, it is shit car. Unsafe and shit car. The car is made to carry nearly 1200 kilograms of weight. Why? Is this car a van? No it is not. It is a shitty Daewoo Matiz car. And when compared to this, the Daewoo Matiz is a good car.
This car is expensive. $20,500. This car is shittier than the Daewoo Matiz, yet it is also more expensive than Daewoo Matiz. This car must be hated in south korea as the people will rather die than drive this car. The service costs are high. Way too high. This is a shit car.
Conclusion
The car has good rust protection, however the service costs are high. The fuel consumption is low. However, the car is shit. The price is over $20,000. Sure, only by 500, but still high. Afterall, the car is dumb. The Daewoo Matiz is better than this car. This car is DUMB!!! DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB!!! This car will be sent to hell because it is a shitty, dumb, fuck, assfuck car. I do not like this car because it is dumb. The heaven? No. The helliest bit of hell for this shit fuck dumb asshole car. I hate this car, burn in hell. Fucks sake, hell. !!!HEELLLLLL!!!
Bazard Ontario Clone by Edsel
My Loveful car 2
Review 12
Bazard Ontario Clone
Edsel
Style: Traveler, crawler - Mall explorer. Urban crossover SUV.
Concept: Battle array SUV! A car for a woman, who will hit the curb. Walmart exclusive offroader. A vehicle that can handle the hazardous Canadian snow.
The Ontario uses an old fashioned ladder chassis. This may be for added functionality, and lower cost. But it’s not as safe as the unibody construction. The front suspension utilizes the modern double wishbone suspension, but the rear is equipped with old fashioned coil suspension. Why choose a solid axle? For high load capacity, sure, but why would an SUV like this need high load capacity? It is not made for transporting bricks, unless you throw a bunch of bricks in the back. But why would anyone buy bricks from Costco? There are designated brick stores for that.
Moving on to the engine, the 90 degree V6 engine is exactly 3.5 liters. A 90 degree V6 is a bold choice, but if we ignore that the engine is quite conservative. With block made out of iron and a head made out of aluminium. The engine is modern, as it has 24 valves. The power output is decent for the size of the engine. It could be better as it only makes 225 horsepower, and 344 newton meters of torque. The reliability of the Bazard Ontario is top notch. Could it be better? Yes. But is it already really good? A very strong yes. The exhaust limits the engine a bit, but there’s nothing to worry about. The rev limit is at 5900, which seems like a fairly average number. By no means is the Ontario a badly engineered car.
The Ontario is smaller than one could expect, the wheelbase is only 2.7 meters. The design is rugged, with plenty of unpainted plastic the Ontario Clone is ready to crawl through the mall parking lot. The design is simple, somewhat lacking, perhaps? I can see that this car is made for tall people who have really small hands, as the door handles are tiny. There are some chrome accents, I assume they’re meant to elevate the design of the car. I must say, the chrome makes the Ontario Clone look less like a shitbox. The roof racks are good for carrying those bricks. However, since the Clone of Ontario only has five seats, you can fit bricks in the trunk as well.
The conservative engineering only continues when looking at other specs. Front wheel drive and five speed automatic transmission are safe choices. Are they good choices? Yes. But they are also very predictable choices. Despite the engine power output not being too high, the Ontario Clone reaches 100km/h in just mere 8.7 seconds. The top speed is nothing to be embarrassed of, at 240 kilometers per hour, you can overtake nearly every car. However we need to keep in mind to not drive over the speed limit, as that is illegal. The Clone has big wheels, the 18 inch tires make the car seem large and offroad capable. Well that’s a fucking lie. The car is very heavy, over 1800 kilograms, so if it falls off of a cliff, it will fall with force. The large tires do affect the fuel consumption negatively. The Ontario Clone drinks gas! The consumption is 9.8 liters per 100km. Atrocious, no European would buy a car like this. The designers of the Ontario need to design more economical engines if they wish to conquer Europe. Despite it’s large size and posh looks, the Ontario isn’t necessarily a comfortable car. With cloth seats and your usual mid-00s CD player, it’s definitely not uncomfortable. But perhaps leather seats and satellite navigation would’ve made the car more desirable for the American buyers. This car is a weird mix, it tries to appeal to both Europeans and Americans at the same time. And it fails at both. It’s simply just average. Too average. The safety systems of the Ontario are top-of-the-line. However despite having electronic stability control and several airbags, the ladder frame makes the car deadlier. Will this car pass the EuroNCAP safety standards? Yes. And it might score somewhat well. Maybe three stars out of five? But we need to keep in mind, this is an SUV. It should score higher. At least four. The suspension is fine, but… The Ontario Clone has off-road sway bars? Why on earth would you give an automatic FWD SUV off-road sway bars? I fail to see the benefit. It only adds unnecessary costs. I suppose that’s how you do it in America.
Conclusion:
The Ontario is suitable for the Norwegian winter as the rust protection is good. However because gas in Norway is expensive, it’s not suitable for the Norwegian buyer. It is easy to drive, really easy, if we’re being honest. But the service costs are very high, over $1100 per year. Sure the car is reliable, but things WILL fail. The purchase cost is only $18,800. I would’ve gladly paid more for a more comfortable car.
It seems like the Ontario Clone has an identity crisis. First of all, the name. Why was Ontario cloned? Where is the original Ontario? Was the original Ontario this Ontario’s brother? Is the Ontario Clone aware that they have a brother? Is Ontario Clone’s brother even alive? Who knows. Secondly, the car does not know where it belongs? Am I in Norway? Am I in America? Am I in Mexico? Am in Ontario? Is Ontario even real? If you put this car in front of the gates of heaven, it would probably get confused and look for heaven clone. With that being said, I can’t send the car to heaven. But I will also not send it to hell. The Ontario Clone gets to go in a very special place. He’ll go to Hell Clone. It’s like hell, but he’s suffering there all alone. Satan will eat doughnuts and laugh at the lonely car. All of its friend are burning in the original hell. The Ontario Clone doesn’t get to experience that. Their hell will be one of the kind, all just for this car. Enjoy hell clone, sucker!
Faqqink Sidekik Opencart by Mikonp7
I were drunk as fuck when I wrote this shit.
My Lovings and Car 2
Review 14
Faqqink Sidekik Opencart
This automobile is from 1999
Style: Motorcycle - Bicycle - Reminiscence of the past. Chinese Social Security system. Points? Perchance.
Concept: Shrimp carrier, carrier of the shrimps. They are the future of seafood. Prawns and shrimps.
This car has no faults whatsoever, this is a perfect car with zero mistakes.
I look at this car. It’s green. It comes from the land, where shrimps roam free, and the prawns fear God. The engine? Size, that makes every shrimp jealous, 499cc. Pushrod, two valves. Bad To The Bone is playing in the background, as I look at this marvelous piece of engineering. 19.3 horsepower, 24.5 newton meters of torque. Your shrimp girlfriend is shitting her pants. Do shrimps wear pants? Now they do. It’s like the 1960s, the social norms are changing. Shrimps can finally wear pants. And listen to Bad To The Bone. God bless George Thorogood. And God bless the catalytic converter, on this Faqqink Sidekik Opencart, that the shrimps are now using as their getaway car. Park it in the bushes, turn up the radio. Fogging up the windows, doing some backroad dancing.
Your girlfriend is looking at you as you turn the wheel. There’s no power steering. There’s no gravity at the Bikini Bottom. You do not need to be a strongman to own this marvelous piece of engineering. The seats are made out of stone, and plastic. You listen to the radio. Bad To The Bone is still playing, you never realized how long this song actually was. The windows. You have your groceries on the open cart of the Faqqink Sidekik Opencart. What did you buy? Shrimps. It’s cannibalism. You are a shrimp. Bad To The Bone is still playing, but you’ve finished. You turn on the engine with your shrimp girlfriend. You’re a manly shrimp, and you feel very manly as you shift the Faqqink Sidekik Opencart to D. You floor it, the CVT is roaring. The fuel economy doesn’t matter when you’re driving underwater. The twelve inch tires are biting into the underwater highway. You’re doing twice speedlimit, and there are no speed limits at the Bikini Bottom.
Your neighbors are jealous of you, and your girlfriend. You’re living the LIFE! You’re like Elvis motherfucking Presley. Cruising in your Faqqink Sidekik Opencart. Hitting the God fucking road whenever you feel like it! With your girl and groceries with you. Got the cool ass mortgage bills. Not the weepy ass tiny shitfuck asscock mortgage. The Elveys Presley kind of mortgage. Your wife is a fucking Marilyn Monroe of shrimps. You have won the life. You’re the shrimp king of shrimps.
Conclusion
Seven million social credits point on you! God fucking Bless the Communist Shrimp Republic of Bikini Bottom. This is the CAR for those who are living the LIFE! This is the peak of car design, best fucking thing I have ever seen. Bad To The Bone is still playing. It’s on fucking repeat because it’s such a fucking banger song. Five fucking million points to Fuqqink Sidekik Opencart. This car will not go to heaven, though. It has been there the entire time. It does not need to earn its place in heaven, because heaven has earned its place around the Faqqink Sidekik Opencart.
5 Likes
Adam Pfizer by Knugcap (originally in Finnish as well, translated)
The original Finnish review is in the bottom.
Adam Pfizer
The car is from 1998
Style: a yellow pile of shit. A masterpiece of German design, and a total failure
Concept: a Bollywood movie vehicle. A bad racing game starter car. A truck driver in a traffic station toilet.
The car has 22 faults, the car is a piece of shit. Shame on you all.
Who the fuck builds a car out of raw tin in 1998? WHO THE FUCK? There are shit springs, there is shit front wheel drive, there is shit engine! 1.6 litre, 2 valve engine. Who the fuck thought “Yeah, this is a good one. Let’s fucking put this shit in the car. Nobody wants a car with more than 85 horses.” 85 fucking horses in a car. And 133 newton metres of torque. It’s a shitty machine already. You get peak power at 5400 rpm, but still the engine revs up to 6500 rpm. Why the hell? And then some asshole put an exhaust pipe that’s too small for the whole fucking thing. It already is, fuck.
There’s a shit paint job on the outside, there’s a shit car, shit tyres. All fucked up. Fuck if this was a cat, it’d be in a tube. There and deep. There’s more tape than the law, death, and the surveyor will allow. Five-speed manual, zero to 60 in 12.7 seconds. Shit time. There are shit tyres, shit rims! Shit is the hubcaps and it’s raining shit from the fucking sky. You’re driving in the shit rain and you find out you’ve got shit wiper blades. Because you didn’t have the money to go to Motonet and buy new ones. Well, you’d have had the money if you hadn’t bought such a fucking shitty car. The engine breaks down three times before you even get out of the yard. And fuck those tin rims, the hubcaps are godforsaken. Fucking tape player’ll be up your arse in a minute. And the seats are shit, by the way. This is the kind of car that goes behind the sauna in this country. Or to the scrap yard at least. This is not God’s plan. And then the boys and I put in an AUTOMATIC CONTROL HOST??? You want a shitty car? The springs don’t bend or flex, and the whole car only holds 350 pounds of shit. 350 fucking pounds? That’s not even enough for a trip to Estonia, is it? I’ll have to get cheap booze in three fucking batches from Super Alko. There’s 260 millimeters of ground clearance. So little you have to slow down to a crawl, but so much you look gay. Plus, this shit will be soaked and corroded in three years, it’ll cost you over 11,000 euros.
Summary
Good luck, it’s a shit car anyway. Over 650 euros a year just to maintain it? And that’s not even including petrol. 7.6 litres per 100 km, shit sells. Shitty to drive, uncomfortable to drive and not even sporty. Even Satan himself wouldn’t take this car to hell, so they had to send the whole wreck somewhere sub-hell. Or is it over-hell if it’s shittier? Well, to fucking hell anyway, and to the darkest corner so that no one would accidentally fucking crash into the shit. Whoever made this car should be ashamed of themselves. And of his actions as well. The fuckingend. Fucking hell, to the back of the fucking sauna. To the fucking Merikoski.
The OG Finnish review
Minun Rakastetuin Autoni 2
Arvostelun numero on: 15
Adam Pfizer
Auto on vuosimallia 1998
Tyyli: Kusenkeltainen läjä paskaa. Saksalaisen muotoilutyön taidonnäyte, ja sen totaalinen epäonnistuminen
Konsepti: Bollywood elokuvan ajoneuvo. Huonon kilpa pelin aloitus auto. Rekkamies liikenneaseman vessassa.
Autossa on 22 virhettä, auto on sysipaska. Hävetkää kaikki.
Kuka vittu rakentaa auton raa’asta pellistä herran vuonna 1998? KUKA VITTU? On paskat jouset, on paska etuveto, on paska moottori! 1.6 litranen, 2 venttiilinen kone. Kuka vittu ajatteli että “Joo, tää on hyvä homma. Pannaan vittu autoon tämmönen paska. Eihän kukaan ny halua yli 85 hevosta.” Vittu 85 hevosta autossa. Ja 133 newton metriä vääntöä. Jo on paska kone tehty. Korkein teho saavutetaan 5400 kierroksen kohdalla, mutta silti moottorissa on kierroksia 6500 asti. Miksi helvetissä? Ja sit on vielä joku kusimulkku laittanu liian pienen pakoputken koko paskaan. Jo on, vittu.
Ulkopuolella on paska maalipinta, on paska auto, paskat renkaat. Kaikki päin vittua. Saatana jos tämä olis kissa niin se olis putkessa. Siellä ja syvällä. On teippiä enemmän ku laki, kuolema, ja katsastusmies sallii. Viisivaihteinen manuaali, nollasta sataan 12.7 sekuntia. Paska aika. On paskat renkaat, paskat vanteet! Paskat on pölykapselit ja paskaa sataa saatana taivaan täydeltä. Sä ajat paskasateeseen ja huomaat et on paskat pyyhkijänsulat. Ku ei ollu rahaa mennä Motonettiin ostamaan uusia. No olis ollu rahaa jos et olis ostanut niin vitun paskaa autoa. Moottori hajoo kolmesti ennen ku oot ehtiny ees kotipihasta ulos. Ja vittu ne peltivanteet, pölykapselitki on Jumalan hylkäämät. Vittu kasettisoitin on perseessäs kohta. Ja paskat on muuten penkitki. Saunan taakse menee tämmöset autot tässä maassa. Tai romuttamolle vähintään. Ei oo Jumalan suunnitelma tämmönen. Ja sit laitettiin poikien kans läpä vielä SÄHKÖINEN OHJAUSTEHOSTIN??? Haluutko paskan auton? NO TÄSSÄ OLIS VITTU. Jouset ei taivu eikä joustu, ja koko autoon mahtuu vaan 350 kiloa paskaa sisään. Vittu 350 kiloa? Eihän se riitä edes viron matkaan? Pitää vittu kolmessa erässä hakea halpa viina superalkosta. Maavaraa on 260 milliä. Niin vähän et pitää hidastaa töyssyihin, mut niin paljon et näytät homolta samalla. Sen lisäks että tää paska on kolmen vuoden päästä läpimätä ja umpiruostunut, niin tää saattaa sut vielä perikatoon yli 11,000 euron hinnallaan.
Yhteenveto
Onne vitusti, on muute paska auto. Yli 650 euroa vuodessa pelkkään ylläpitämiseen? Eikä ole edes bensoja laskettu mukaan tuohon hintaan. 7.6 litraa satasella kulutus, paskan möivät. Paska ajaa, epämukava rottelo eikä edes urheilullinen. Edes itse Saatana ei huolinut tätä autoa helvettiin, niin piti lähettää koko romu jonnekki ali-helvettiin. Vai onks se yli-helvetti jos se on paskempi? No helvetin helvettiin kuitenki, ja sinnekki siihen pimeimpään nurkkaan ettei kukaan vahingossakaan vittu törmäis koko paskaan. Se joka tämän auton teki sietäis hävetä käytöstään. Ja tekemisiään Sen vitun pituinen se. Saatana helvetin saunan taakse tämmöset. Merikoskeen vittu.
SM Solsti 1200 E Superluxury 9000 million by shibusu
SM Solsti 1200 E Superluxury 9000 million
Review 16
This automobile is from 1975 and 1979 as well as 1977. That’s a lot.
Style: The crusader. A car that once was delightful, a mode of transportation. Lumberjacks and teachers mutual friend, who they don’t really like. A homicide has been committed in this car.
Concept: STEEL DRIVER CAR DRIVING STEEL BARE METAL. BARE METAL. STEEL WHEEL. STEEL CAR!
SM Solsti 1200 E Superluxury 9000 million has 8 faults.
I open the hood. I see nothing. Where is the engine? It’s hidden in the rear! Delightful. Elon Musk, take notes you dumb fuck. Because a thief comes to steal your engine, they open the hood and wonder where the engine is. This car is stopping crime! Unfortunately, the engine is also very shit so the thief wouldn’t have stolen it anyway. They steal a Tesla, SM Solsti 1200 E Superluxury 9000 million take notes. A mere 43 horsepower is trying to move the 840 kg of steel around town. It’s pathetic. The children stare, point and laugh. Torque? No. It left the room.
The paintwork, I can only describe it with 12 words: once so delightful, but now, weathered and old like a junkie’s apartment. The wheels are round and rowdy. The seats remind me of a homicide investigation. The car has a transmission, which has 4 gears. It is less than five but more than three. 14 inch wheels, haha. The interior is shit. It sucks ass more than the ass sucks itself. The fuel consumption is fuck as well, 9.8 liters per 100 kilometers. What year is it? That fuel consumption is bad. It sucks. There’s an eight track player, it’s very vintage, very retro! Like old times. Unfortunately, if you crash, you will die.
The suspension is old and shit as well, carrying only 366 kilograms, but since you murdered all your friends, it doesn’t matter. The seats, the homicide, oh God oh fuck. The sheer amount of SHIT the engine has, is astonishing. Who are you going to call once it breaks down? The mechanic won’t touch the homicide car. Drum brakes, badabim badabum. Badam tssss, goes the drum brake. Let the drummers drum. Unfortunately, at over 6700 dollars, this is the most expensive drum set from the 1970s. Don’t Google, very rare.
Moving over to the conclusionary notes!
This car is not good. Is it the worst? No, not at all. Very far from it. But is it good? Also no, lol. Take notes. Drive over a mirror with your drum set. The service cost on this car is cheap, probably because the engine is made out of wood burning stoves and engraved copper plates. If it weren’t for the homicide, this car would be one of the cars here. Not one of the best, but probably near the bar. With that being said, they do not accept homicide in heaven. Satan is more of a homicide guy, which means I am forced to send this car to hell, where Satan and the lumberjack commit more homicides.
Faenza Spirito SP by SurrealCeral
Faenza Spirito SP
Review 17
The car was made in 1973
Style: Man who has been better days, his wife is old and weathered hag.
Concept: Budget transportation to the people of Brazil. Their worst nightmares are their lack of dreams and hopes.
This car has 34 problems
I see him. It’s six in the morning and fuck I had some wine yesterday. I feel like death. What thefuck am I doing? And what the fuck was the design team at Faenza doing in 1973? Crack cocaine? Why are the panels made of fibre glass? In the front you have macpherson strut suspension, but the rear has coil suspension. Am I drunk or high? The engine is just as intriguing, all alloy 2.4L flat four. With dual overhead cams. In 1973! For whatever reason the compression is awfully low, and the exhaust is awfully big. There are no mufflers, like, none at all. This is by far the loudest car I’ve seen so far. It has tubular long headers, what the fuck?
And then there’s the exterior. First of all, the car is yellow. Or it WAS yellow. Now it seems to be made of rust and fuck. The car has front headlights, they are made of glass. Florida plates remind me of America. This car is far from America. It is on my computer screen! For a reason that I do not understand, all the windows are shattered EXCEPT for the rear window. I suppose it’s important that you see where you’re backing up since these older cars do not have backup cameras. I am stupid little shit and can’t park without cameras. That’s why I own a 2002 SEAT.
For whatever reason, the car is fast. Like early 1970s supercar fast. The 2.4L flat 4 makes 143 horsepower, and the peak power is on the redline. Somehow the car still manages to get 0 to 100km/h time of 8.1 seconds. Well, not exactly supercar fast, like I just said in the previous sentence, but close enough. Way too fucking fast for what it is. For whatever fucking reason, the RWD hatchback has clutched LSD. The designers of the Faenza Spirito SP certainly took some LSD when making this thing. The car has magnesium rims, and staggered tires. I truly am speechless, what the fuck is this thing? I need more wine at this point. Vented discs on all wheels.
But perhaps the Faenza Spirito SP has its redeeming qualities, no? Maybe the interior is luxurious? Well haha, no! The seats are fuck, the floor is fuck, the roof is fuck, and you get no radio. Despite its size, there are only 2 seats, both in the front. What the fuck??? The car weighs 602 kilograms, yet it still has hydraulic power steering. The safety system is comparable to, ehhh, nothingness. It has no safety, and the ‘none’ safety it has is at -15 quality. I do not understand, but perhaps that’s on me since I am not doing drugs in my studio apartment. Roll angle of 2.2 degrees. Big in sportscar, yes! The fuel consumption is 10.9L/100km, and I honestly don’t even know if that’s good or bad.
I can’t take this, let’s move onto the conclusion.
Let me start this by saying, this is an unreliable car. Perhaps the most unreliable car I have seen so far. It definitely is the most lackluster shit fuck car I have seen so far. It’s not very safe, as I have earlier mentioned. And when I say not very safe, I mean, safety score of 2.5. It’s not very comfortable, the comfort is 0.1. It’s not very environmentally friendly, with WES score of solid 0! It runs on 98 RON, also known as premium. And it costs exactly $20,000. A whole lot of money! Do you want a bad deal? Well here’s one! The Faenza Spirito SP. I do not know how much crack the designers took, but from now on they will be doing crack in hell. The devil will pee, laugh, dance and then pee again when he sees this car. Faenza Spirito SP. Faenza Spirito SP. I must be dreaming, let me pinch myself real quick.
Nope. Not dreaming. Let me drink some wine to forget how painful our existence is. This car made me faint, drink wine, faint again, and then get alcohol poisoning. I truly hope the Faenza Spirito SP burns in hell. I will then take its ashes, burn them again and then throw them to a volcano in Indonesia. See you guys in 7 months when I feel like writing another review
Karas Letara Codex by Kalan
Karas Letara Codex
Review number 18
This car is from 1995 or 1916, I don’t know which one.
Style: Comic book coupe, white, red, yellow. What is it? Colors! Coupe! Automotive automobiles.
Concept: Retro Racer! Need for Speed: Underground 2, the automobile of all times. Rejected from the racing game.
This car has been through suffering and pain, which means it has 2 problems. If we take into account how shit the exterior is, then this car will have 798000000 problems.
Aluminum panels, steel space frame chassis. Torsion beam suspension. Holy FUCK what is this? Kalan, are you OK? The engine is eight valve single overhead cam, and it is… Interesting. During the year of 1916, cars were made, but the cars aren’t good by modern standards. Is the Karas Letara Codex good by modern standards? Only one way to find out. And that way is to write a long and somewhat boring review. The engine? Yes. I mean, I am probably more confused than you are since I can see the madness that’s going on. And it’s hard to put it into words, I mean, it’s literal madness. For some reason it has two-way catalytic converter, and that is the least weird thing about it. The exhaust is way too big, the peak power of 97.7 horsepower is achieved at 5000 RPM, yet the redline is all the way over at 6200 RPM. You get like 1200 RPM’s of chilling space. Welp, no money shifting this car, I suppose. It can be considered as a safety measure. It’s like, some next level brain activity and geniosity.
The Karas Letara Codex has total of 18 fixtures. The Faenza Spirito SP had 30 fixtures. 18 is less than 30. THE WINDOWS ARE WHITE? I mean, they are this weird shade between white and yellow. I don’t really know what’s going on. In the front, you are greeted with massive chrome bumper, weird grille and absurd lights. The outer light are… Normal? I suppose. I don’t think you can use the word normal with this car, but the inner lights are these weird LED circles. I feel nauseous. In the rear you have squares. Everything is square, and there is a massive wing for some reason. Dual dual exhaust. The gas cap is blue for some reason. In the front you have Australian license plate, but in the rear you have a license plate from the videogame Need for Speed: Carbon. Just— Why???
Moving on, the Karas Letara Codex coupe is front wheel drive, equipped with five speed manual gearbox. It has 0-100 time of 10.9 seconds. The car looks far sportier than it actually is, and that was not a compliment. You have staggered tires, and steel rims. Luxurious, eh? Vented discs all around for some weird fucking reason, can’t quite wrap my head around that one. Man I am way too sober to be writing this shit, but what can I do. My friend, Mr. Liquor Store, is not open yet, so we gotta go with what we have. And now we have nothing. Man I feel like visiting the Sahara desert.
The car! The car could visit the Sahara desert, since it has fully clad undertray. Good thinking. The 2+2 seating is optimal for seating capacity and weight savings. The car has luxurious leather seats, and a high quality CD player with high quality audio system. You have top notch 1990s safety system, and ABS brakes. However, the hydraulic ball power steering system means the car feels like a bowling ball. Can you bowl balls in the Sahara desert? I don’t know, I am not good at bowling. The suspension system feels quite normal, aside from the adaptive dampers, 2.6 degree roll angle, and 759kg load capacity. In other words, the suspension system is not very normal.
The rust resistance is really good! Most likely due to the absurd chassis design. The car is quite safe for what it is, I suppose. I have seen worse. Way worse in fact. The reliability is residing at the mid 70s, not that bad, I suppose. In the Sahara desert you do not want to break down, so perhaps the Karas Letara Codex is not the ideal car for Sahara desert exploration? The sportiness value is 11.7, which is the same as the comfort value! It somehow has higher offroad score, though, at 12.2. Drivability is in high 50s, not really good, but it is what it is. Now, who is Mr. Liu Samosval? The engine is named after him.
Okay, the conclusion.
Liu Samosval’s engine from 1916 is not very good. The car should generate more power, it should be more fuel efficient, it should just in general be more good. You know? You get me? Liu Samsoval, are you there? is 1916 the year of your birth? Are you 108 years old? Anyway, uhhh… The Karas Letara Codex will go to hell as well. Will it burn there? I doubt. But it shall go to the hell. The devil might hop in it, trying to do a burnout. Then the devil will realize the engine doesn’t even make 100 horsepowers, and it’s front wheel drive. The devils will DAMN and CURSE the Karas Letara Codex, but will not burn it. It will simply reside at the hell.
Tips and tricks for better entry next time!
- Why are the comfort and sportiness scores equal? They don’t have to be.
- When trying to make a car suitable for exploring the sahara desert, don’t do this.
- For the Sahara desert, 4x4 would be ideal. The fully clad undertray was a good call, though.
- Why mention Liu Samosval without giving me any sort of lore? I want my Liu Samosval lore!
- The low -ish cost is good, but despite the simple engineering, the service costs are nearing $1,000.
Direlba-51 Swirly by moroza (originally in Finnish, translated)
Once again, Finnish review in the bottom. I had to redact some stuff, it’s for your best.
Direlba-51 Swirly
Car review number 19
The vehicle is from 1951. Vautsiwau
Style: MAN DRINKS ECSTACY!! I have a hangover. What the fuck is going on here? I’m fucked up or something.
Concept: It’s a shitty car, by the way, what the fuck? Is this a car or a piece of shit? I don’t know my own name. Man! You’re gonna die tomorrow.
No shit, it’s 11 o’clock and I’m hungover. What the fuck. I mean, you know, it’s like a hangover drunk. I mean, yeah, it’s made of tin, like metal. God’s year 1951, men! The front engine, springs and all the rest is there. Let’s drink booze, that’s what Hector sings. Life’s a pain in the ass at times, sober. Jepsandeerus Jesus, in the engine room a lightweight 17 litre V12 engine. More torque than the law and the Bible allow. A pushrod engine. Yep, yep, yep. Runs on fucking 110 petrol, by the way. You can’t get this kind of thing from a normal petrol pump. The carbs are gassing up and everything’s fine. And this thing meets modern emissions standards? HOW? Take a look at this.
As for the appearance, um… what the fuck? I’m fucking dying tomorrow. And why is this called Direlba-51? How much is Direlba minus 51? Somebody tell me, quick. I don’t know how this guy put together a thing like this, for real? I mean, I’m here on Friday morning with a hangover, and someone builds something like this, oh shit, it’s hard. Fuck [REDACTED], no shit. Is this 12 or 14 tires? Fuck, it’s big, [REDACTED]
Yeah, no middist brother, rear-wheel drive, manual. Fucking asshole. The Volvo 242 has lost its status. Fuck, boyyyyyyyys, we’ve got four gears and they’re all blessed by God, oh fuck. And the wheels are fucking spinning. DRUM BRAKES BOYS! There’s three fucking benches and everything’s fine and dandy. Phonograph, sir, in 1951. But where Jesus himself goes wrong is the lack of power steering. This shit weighs over 2,000 kilos and there’s no power steering? For what reason? Fuck you guys, seriously. Fuckin’ nice to back this thing into a paraller park in a Prisma yard. Why is there suddenly a pocket park in the Prisma yard? Fucking good question, fucking good. I don’t know, I’m just writing this shit.
Yeah, all good, let’s get to the summary.
First of all, this shit costs 78500. Way too much. I got a hangover and an empty wallet. The government doesn’t think this is good enough to be a police car. Drivability? 0. Sportiness? 0. Reliability? ALSO 0. No fucking way, this machine won’t last, not even tomorrow. Zero to 100 time? Yeah, it doesn’t go 100. It costs too much and it’s shit. So, to hell with the ecstasy tank. Happy fucking summer holidays everyone. See you in hell with this shit. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. Yeah, it was good, thanks. The hangover goes away the way it came, which is booze. Now goodbye, I’m drinking booze and Direlba’s going to hell.
In Finnish
Direlba-51 Swirly
Autoarvostelu numero 19
Kulkuneuvo on vuosimallia 1951. Vautsiwau
Tyyli: MIES JUO EKSTAASIA!! Mulla on krapula. Mitä vittua täällä tapahtuu? Mä oon sekasin tai jotain.
Konsepti: On muuten paska auto, mitä vittua? Onks tää auto vai läjä paskaa? Mä en tiedä mun omaa nimeä. Mies! Sä kuolet huomenna.
Joo ei helvetti kello on 11 ja mulla on krapula. Mitä vittua. Siis tiietteks te ku on semmonen krapulansekainen humala. Siis joo pellistä tehty, jotai metallia. Jumalan vuosi 1951, miehet! Etumoottori, jouset sunmuut on paikalla. Juodaan viinaa, näin laulaa Hector. Elämä on piinaa hetkittäin, selvinpäin. Jepsandeerus Jeesus, konehuoneessa kevyt 17 litranen V12 moottori. Vääntöä enemmän ku laki ja raamattu sallii. Työntötankomoottori. Jeps jeps. Kulkee muuten jollain vitun 110 bensalla. Ei saa normi bensapumpulta tämmöstä settiä. Kaasarit kaasuttaa ja kaikki hyvin. Ja tää vehje täyttää jotenki modernit päästövaatimukset? MITEN? Ottakee mallia.
Mitä tulee ulkomuotoon niin öööö… Mitä vittua? Mä saatana kuolen huomenna. Ja Miksi tän nimi on Direlba-51? Paljonko tulee jos Direlbasta vähennetään 51? Joku kertokaa äkkii. Ei oo mitään käryä et miten tää jätkä on saanu kasattua tämmösen vehkeen, niinku ihan tosi? Siis mä vetelen tääl krapulaseteis perjantaiaamuna ja jotkut vaan rakentaa tämmösiä, ai saatana, on se kova. Vittu [REDACTED], ei helvetti. Onks täs 12 vai 14 rengasta? Vittu ku on iso, [REDACTED]
Joo ei midist veli, takaveto, manuaali. Linttapulkka. Volvo 242 on menettänyt asemansa. Vittu pojjjjaaaaaaaaaaat meil on neljä vaihetta ja kaikki ne on Jumalan siunaamia, ai vittu. Ja pyörät pyörii vittu. RUMPUJARRUT POJAT! On kolme vitun penkkiä ja kaikki hyvin ja tälleen. Fonografi, herran vuonna 1951. Mut missä itse Jeesus menee vikaan on ohjaustehostimen puute. Tää paska painaa yli 2000 kiloa ja tässä ei oo ohjaustehostinta? Syystä että? Haistakaa vittu ihan tosi. Vitun kiva peruuttaa Prisman pihassa taskuparkkiin tääki vehje. Miksi Prisman pihalla on yhtäkkiä taskuparkki? Vitun hyvä kysymys, vitun hyvä. En mä tiedä, mä vaan kirjotan tätä paskaa.
Joo ei mitään, siirrytään yhteenvetoon.
Ensinnäki, tää paska maksaa 78500. Aivan liikaa. Mul on krapula ja tyhjä lompakko. Ei hallitus kelvoita tätä poliisiautoksi. Ajettavuus? 0. Urheilullisuus? 0. Luotettavuus? MYÖS 0. Ei saatana ei täs kone kestä, ei ees huomista päivää. Nollasta sataan aika? Joo ei tää kulje satasta. Tää maksaa liikaa ja tää on paska. ELIKKÄS elikkäs, helvettiin käy ekstaasitankin tie. Vitun hyvää kesälomaa kaikille. Nähdään helvetissä tän paskan kanssa. HELVETTI VITTU HELVETTI. Joo oli hyvää kiitos. Krapula lähtee kuten tulikin, eli viinalla. Nyt hyvästi, minä juon viinaa ja Direlba menee helvettiin.
Montagne Fourgonnette by the-chowi
Montagne Fourgonnette
Review number 20
This car is from the present year. The years between 2020 and 2024. The time difference is 4 years, we can only guess.
Style: Lines and stripes - Stylistics - Chrome and plastic vehicle. Colour of the French drinking water - A man who has gone through a messy divorce in France or Spain.
Concept: Military style vehicle. Retromodern chinese designer vehicle. A car bought by chic upper class single mothers who can also afford a housekeeper.
This car has NO FAULTS WHATSOEVER, very good!
I am looking at him. I have a cup of tea and a man who has gone through a messy divorce with a Spanish woman. Or he claims the woman is Spanish but I am not exactly sure. I saw a picture and she could be French or perhaps even Belgian. The engine is driving some of the wheels of the car. Which wheels? That’s a secret, hehe 
The fabulous engine has the total capacity of 1.6 liters. The poor 1.6L engine is making tremendous power! 134 horsepower! Unfortunately the small size of the exhaust pipe limits the engine from maximum power. The partial monocoque chassis is very unique, it provides you the maneuverability of a sedan, but the utility of a truck!
The car has total of six gears, all manual. Very good, mmuh manuelle. 0 to 100 kilometers in 9.9 seconds. Tremendous speed. The top speed is over 200 kilometers per hour. The poor 1.6L engine is howling as the French (or Belgian) single mother is driving down the autobahn. The French mother took a road trip to Germany with his kids, as well as SpongeBob and Patric the Star. The kids must be having the time of their lives. The 7-seating car seats seven, since there are seven seats. Leather seats and other cool shit, I dunno. The steering is light as a feather, and the safety systems are present.
Conclusion.
Unfortunately, the car costs 800 over 20,000, meaning the car costs 20,800. It is 800 over 20,000. The fuel consumption is only 7.7 liters per 100 kilometers, which is acceptable given the size of the car. The seating capacity allow Patric the Star and Spongebob to also travel in French style. The French car is reliable, that’s not very French. Why is it reliable and not shitfuck car? Rust protection? Good. So, the big question? Will this car go to hell. Yes. But only since SpongeBob has sinned and God refuses to take him to heaven. With this being said, the car is going to hell.
There we go, apologies for the triple post.
Edit:
Here’s the brief overview of the last 20 cars in English.
6 Likes
Hrm… somehow my note - that the Direlba 51’s engineering was simply not done at all except for minimal visuals, as the tank was a purely design entry for AGC - was missed. You reviewed something that wasn’t there or meant to be. But at least you liked the swirly?