So sad he died of ligma
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who the hell is Steve Jobs?
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the job market has crashed
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It’s not a good year to be named Steve, or be in the crashing job market.
1 Like
1979 Bazard D-Light!
Here at Bazard, we don’t believe in compromise. Many buyers many live in rough regions, where roads are tough and require capable, reliable, all-terrain vehicles; but traditionally, such rough vehicles are huge, inefficient, and not exactly thrilling to drive. We think such traditions are poppycock, and unconditionally strive to meet all our buyer’s needs.
Thus, we created the “D-Light!”, a fun compact wagon that likes to get dirty, with an innovative 4-wheel-drive system that’ll take rough roads a-plenty! It’s great on road too, with excellent driving manners, a top spec interior, and great safety features to keep the family happy. A sporty little wagon with unique offroad utility, “The D-Light!” is the fun and capable vehicle fit for any occasion!
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Blud is 6 months late
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Better late than never lol
4 Likes
i don’t see the memeiness in it
Wrong challenge maybe?
Might’ve been for csr lol
A smoothie
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I'm so so so so so so so so so so SO sorry for this
MLC3 JUDGING:
Hi kids, I’m back from the corner store!
You wouldn’t BELIEVE how long the line was, all I wanted was some ciggies and milk!
Anyway I showed your cars to the meth heads panel of experts there, and this is what they had to say:
MMW Hauler by @the-chowi
H: Legitimately I like it, I like how fucking fat it is.
VV: I like this thing’s ability to have what appears to be a 7 foot adult in its 20 foot blindspot.
G: I hate it, but I love how much I hate it, if that makes sense?
H: It looks hollow on the inside, what the fuck?
VV: Here’s the thing, this is actually a really smart design, because by being this lifted and having a completely hollow underside, any small children that it would run over would simply pass harmlessly underneath.
G: I like how you can look directly into the engine bay from the passenger seat.
R: Oh no, is that a torque curve? Oh no!
G: Oh she’ll tow baby, she’ll tow your ex-wife, goddamn.
G: What’s the 0-60 on this?
[6.97 seconds]
R: Oh that’s slow!
G: Is this diesel or petrol?
[at this point I point out that the engine is called fake diesel]
G: What? Oh that’s cringe.
H: It looks like a car toy that my parents would buy for when I was 12 at a little street stand.
VV: This is the kind of thing that [would be] heavy metal diecast and could kill someone else when you threw it at them.
H: No, I envision this as a plastic piece of shit, that you’d look at it and it would crumble away.
[R and G complaining about the stats not being in American, tough shit we Australian here]
Craze E by @supersaturn77
G: It’s giving… It’s giving Tata Nano vibes.
R: Is it??? Okay.
H: It looks like a mum car.
VV: The Craze eeeeeeeeeeee.
VV: Ohh I like this thing’s… I like this thing’s side silhouette actually, it looks really silly.
G: It looks like a Daewoo, I dunno.
VV: I don’t know how to describe this, this reminds me of the old Saturn something that my family had, and it gives me that exact same “car that was a little bit good in the 90’s and because so used in the 00’s” just because it was so cheap.
VV: Also the wheel-to-body on this is driving me nuts. This is an SD [Super Deformed] car.
R: Damn is that what it sounds like when you rev it? You made a shitty Honda bubble.
G: God it sounds kinda like an S2000! [what]
R: I dunno… I dunno about that…
G: No, this thing does not do 200km/h, no shot.
[explaining to R that Auto doesn’t model interiors]
R: How am I meant to judge these economical vehicles if I don’t know how good they are for the grocery shoppin’?
Craze Tuned Speshel by saturn again (no second ping for you)
H: Holy shit, Craze Red Shoulder…
G: Oh of course it’s from New York!
VV: I like the tape- WAIT YEAH THE FUCKING TAPED ON- oh fuck off!
G: This is like a kid’s first ricer. Like they’re 19 years old and they do front wheel burnouts in a Target parking lot and then post it in like tiktok phonk videos.
VV: I really like the idea of putting the fucking douche fin on what looks like grandma’s grocery store car.
G: THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THIS IS! This is every like Honda Civic Sedan.
VV: Bonus points for the fucking crooked black and yellow New Youk State plate.
H: Are we gonna talk about how it’s crooked and off centre? What did they do??
VV: They taped it on! They ran out of budget at the store getting the paint for the stripe.
H: It was just a little bit too Craze.
VV: They had to improvise to get that dumb legal plate on!
G: Bro thinks he’s Ken Block, this is so funny oh my god. I love this car so much. The thing is, this is definitely a young kid, but I can see them doing a really nice tribute in the future to this car by rebuilding it and doing it better. This is definitely someone who’s going to have a lifelong passion for cars just doing dumb shit to cars just because they don’t know better.
H: This is a car for a world where instead of sad middle aged men it’s sad middle aged women who get into a midlife crisis and buy a really stupid car.
3500 feeB denroC sugniD by @HelloHi
H: HA!
G: Oh my god no this is based on a Le Mans car, right?
H: This is kind of peak.
VV: It looks like one of those Lego Racers fucking cereal box sets.
G: It looks like a Le Mans Touring Car but backwards
[explaining that the car is in fact backwards]
VV: That’s incredible.
H: How??
R: Very sturdy.
H: This is a Rhinoceros Beetle. Believe it or not this is a Rhinoceros Beetle.
H: This is the best one. This is the best one, I don’t think you need to show us any more, I like this one.
[I close the car]
H: NOOOOO!!!
RAAAAAAAGH Motors Eyedestroyer 9000000000 by @redfoxlol
H: This is a car for Flight Rising players.
VV (who plays Flight Rising): Ohhh what do you mean…
G: Yo what in the- what? What in the Chevy Belair shit is this?
R: This is Pimp My Ride.
G: Bro even Xzibit would be like “Ay yo what the fuck?” This is like when Tyler the Creator is talking about “I pulled up in the what the fuck is that bro”.
VV: They made a car for…
G: So what’s it got, like LPG, hydrogen, high octane, low octane, diesel, like all electric?
VV: They made a car for Cocomelon!
[Showing G the engine]
G: 92 leaded???
VV: When I look at this car I hear the Cocomelon intro in my head.
R: many people are saying this.
VV: The key thiong in demonstrating this car is that you need to have someone stand and jump on that back fin. Also I really appreciate the size of the rear view mirrors [laughing]. And then I saw back fucking lights!!
VV: So not only are they that big but they’re on the sides?? Are you for fucking- This is the world’s funniest car. This thing fucking rules.
H: I like the visible gap there.
[I point out that it’s bad fixture tearing]
[laughter from VV and H]
VW 1302 ute by @Knugcab
VV: I gotta piss after this one. Oh my god.
G: Wait, you say it’s a ute but that’s the front of the car?
VV: I like the very utilitarian design of this so you can always keep a close eye eye on your cargo.
H: [unintelligible] drive this into the office!
VV: This is ideal for bringing your kids anywhere with you because you can just load them into the front.
H: Fun for the whole family!
VV: They can learn good driving habits by watching you drive.
G: That’s so funny.
[G goes onto a tangent about finding Initial D doujins on Mandarake]
G: It’s so horny… I had no idea…
[the conversation then became wholly about how many fujoshi are fans of Initial D, and how gay it is in general (very)(not in a derogatory way, it’s just basically yaoi with a few more steps)]
FUN FACT: Kayfabe off for a moment, I’m properly sorry about how long this took. There were some technical issues with the recording, but two of my friends going on holidays where they couldn’t easily hop in a VC with everyone else made it impossible to rerecord the borked bits, but the delay and just not appearing in here was part of the funny so I didn’t particularly care.
BUT THEN
Quite a lot of shit in my life went off the rails (including latter rerecordings, hence why there’s more missing cars than the three I wanted to leave out), and the last thing I felt like doing was being funny online, but I’d committed to the bit of not appearing in here hence the uh, very long wait.
Next parts shouldn’t be this long a wait, but considering probably 3/4 of them are videos, and I’m an idiot at video editing, uhhhhhhhhh I’m making no guarantees.
12 Likes
G, H, VV and R needs their own podcast IMO.
3 Likes
I guess BetterDeals was too much for them?
this dialogue feels so genuine though like i can actually see a bunch of friends gathered around a screen looking at this
did you show the cars to some of your actual friends or something
also don’t worry about the time take as long as you need man
Can’t you see where I said I showed it to my panel of experts (that totally isn’t just my friends that barely know anything about cars)? Smh!!!
3 Likes
understandable, have a
the Craze duo was received perfectly. i’m so proud of my lame son and his brother (who i don’t entirely approve of)