Piss has infiltrated, troll complete
2 Likes
John Reviewer 
Guys, check out my new Tesla!
It is very cool but Iâve been having some issues. For some reason it doesnât move? I was a bit skeptical when I first heard about this magnet concept but when @elonmusk told us about it I believed it. He is the smartest man in the world after all! He invented electric cars so Iâm sure he invented magnets.
#dogecoin #tesla #loving
12:40 PM ⢠Aug 31, 2024 ⢠2.7k Views
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
RESULT: +1 point
10 Likes
Skill issue
2 Likes
My Loving Horseless Carriage
The Loving Paper
(@fabiremi999, @Ritz, @LS_Swapped_Rx-7)
As we all know, the horse (Equus) are our daily choice of transport in the current time of 1886.
But, some wizards and witches have decided to spread their unholy magic on this world with their so called âHorseless Carriagesâ.
These contraptions create a horrible sound and are said to move using âinternal combustionâ, but they are clearly demonic beings sent by Satan.
We at The Loving Paper have gotten our hands on 3 of these contraptions, to decide whether they truly are demonic, or are the future of transport.
Starting on the left, we have the âBMW Z3Mâ by Fabriemi. This contraption appears to have a large nose, like a horse, and one eye like a cyclops.
This demonic beast is said to be able to do 50 Kilometers Per Hour. In our testing, we expected it to be about as fast as our lovely horse Sherwood.
Fortunately, something went wrong.
The carriage broke before we even got to testing, proving yet again the power of the horse.
Mechanics insisted we try again, but we refused.
For this reason, the BMW Z3M gets a score of -150 on The Pointing and result.
Next up is the âBenz Patent Motorwagen with optional AMG sport packâ by Ritz, which is said to do 28 Kilometers Per Hour, quite slow, proving the strength of the horse.
The vehicle once again looks like a cyclops, but this time without the horse nose. It should be noted that the extra couch in the rear will allow for more passengers, thus giving it more of an advantage over the horse. Overall, this vehicle so far seems to be quite impressive, and we stayed optimistic for our testing.
This time, we actually made it to the path where testing would be completed, automatically making it much better than the Z3M.
After some fixing from the engineers, we got the Carriage up to about 40kmh before it turned into Michael Jackson.
The engineers who built this Carriage clearly know what theyâre doing, and proved us wrong in the fact that the vehicle actually works.
We give this 500 points.
Finally, we have the âBerghammer & Companie Maschinenbauunternehmen Patentierterbenzinmotorbetriebenerpferdeloserwagenâ by LS Swapped RX-7.
Now readers, the version we received here has no instructions and we donât know how it works⌠It looks quite different from the description we received of it.
It seems to float above the ground, like a cloud. We tried to drop it but it wont. We donât know whatâs up with this thing but we cant get it to wo-
John, what are you doing?
Hey, whatâs that?
Where did it go?
Well, I guess itâs gone now.
This demonic beast is terrible. -500.
11 Likes
Go Bowling At The Glen
Bowlingcar
Because automation developers are important they have decided to focus on not adding the watkin glen so the focus has been estimated to be Ellen Buried Junior.
Go boweling bowlfing bowling
The competition:
Benchmark: BetterDeals Bowling Pin
3:15.7 second laptime. This is because bowling pins have no engine, so it must be transported carefully by Lawnmower. @Mikonp7
Bowling balls bomb @Edsel
Truly, an innovation. Ford Edsel has finally found how to stop the bowling, by blowing up the bowling man. They should be given the award of least bowling, but it is still a bowling so the limitations of the awards are limited. In a galaxy, far far away, the bowling truly became special.
The bowling ball must be remote controlled, as it can roll around Ellisbury in 1 minute 44 second.
The bowling man clearly is very strong and threw the balls very hard, and the bowling has a gyroscope to rotate it towards the corner. Innovation.
Rating: 1000+ point for the bomb, as it will kill any bowling man attempting to use it by exploding, exterminating the bowling men.
The bowl is a lie, as portal would say.
Large Bowling Car @fabiremi999
There is a problem. This vehicle is bowling, but has no positive to stop the bowling men. The positive is the bowling is very fast and has a spike on the nose to remove bowling man legs. The Fuel Injected French Fire may move it slightly too fast to hit the bowling men, is a slight problem. It may be vaporizing instead! They must suffer a long death.
The bowling large sets a lapping of 1 mi
nute flat. Wow! It is so fasting it puts fasting humans to shame.
Result: While the bowling is impressive, it lacks final the final form. For this reason it will gain only 100 points.
Ok, what the hell am i even writing anymore? What does bowling even mean? I have no idea whatâs going on, and the amount of things i have to review is going to drive me insane. Anyways.
So bowling has been understood. Next up is the;
8 7 9 6 89 3579 * Bowling Bowling @hjuugoo
Violation. Violation. There are so many violations! Hilbert would say it would be wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong, but i say it is hell.
This vehicle was meant to be sent to hell with its brother, Satan. The Light When You Die should have taken care of it, but he was too busy saving BMW Z3M.
It can drive the Ellis Buried around 1 minute 3 second. Fast! Unfortunate, i wanted the bowling-bowl to be Romain Grosjean 2020 Bahrain Grand Prix.
It is so bowling that it bowled all of the pins on the Google Sheet and stopped existing! For this reason, i may not even be able to give the Bowling Bowling a point. It will be sent to hell.
Result: Helled.
Finally, it is time for the least bowling of the bowl.
Jacuzzi Bowling @Hilbert
This bowling is quite confusing. Since bowling is not its main purpose, why is it a bowling? If you will do something do it 100%, failure will be imminent if you only do it 50%.
Unremarkable, but veryc cool! Question. How is gary alive? He requires food, and there is no food. Animal misuse will not be tolerated, as not will animal abuse or gary abuse. I will call the authorities, stupid idiot! Stop drinking you alchohoolhol from the Pilly Frigedrator and feed Gary. He requires good food, food from the stupud fucking Pilly Fridge is unnaceptable! You feed yourself but not Gary. How is this acceptable? You are not fat albert, you do not require all the food. Give it to fucking gary. Give him beer too, i know you can only buying so much with Loving 6 as it is necessary to be used but give Gary a beer license and he will buy his beer. His water is also not real, how must a duck survive without water/!?!?!? There is not even soap! Or hot women to keep him company! Where are the hot women? Give Gary Hot Women! He is sexually active but without women he can not be! Where are they? Women are to be respected, Gary The Pimp pays his women very well! He is not a pimp but he gets so many hot women that they say he is a pimp. He pays his women well and respects them very well, he is a pillar of society! As Automation Staff would say he is Pillar. There is an unreleased track of Gary and 2pac but 2pac didnt like because Diddy managed Gary. Gary put Diddy arrested!!! This prove Gary was right all along. Gary can not be bowling, how? He is too superior to be bowling but the Hilbertus didnt understand this, so treated Gary as a balls. He gets no water, food, women, or privacy! No soap is the worst.
Oh yes it drives 1:28.63.
Result: -1000. You did not treat Gary correctly.
Bowling At The Glen results!
Bowling bomb wins.
8 Likes
My Loving Law And Order
THE LAW
Today on Law And Order, we have a very bad criminal manâŚ
His name is SUMNER NEUTRAL SPECIAL
(@nvisionluminous)
We have caught him on many crimes, so our Judge is currently sentencing.
After closer inspection, he appears to be carrying 16 unregistered and illegal firearms.
The judge has chosen that a sentence of 21.5 years per firearm is fair.
SUMNER NEUTRAL SPECIAL is being cruel to himself for locking himself in the cage, so he gets 5 years for Animal Cruelty.
SUMNER NEUTRAL SPECIAL also gets 10 years for Motor Vehicle Theft, as the vehicle is not his.
SUMNER NEUTRAL SPECIAL gets an extra 2 years for illegally modifying the vehicle.
SUMNER NEUTRAL SPECIAL gets 5 years in prison for illegal drug trafficking, as he has a secret large bucket of âLeanâ to be sold in the rear.
SUMNER NEUTRAL SPECIAL finally gets 34 years in prison because he is bowling.
FINAL SENTENCE
Guilty on all counts. 400 years in prison and 400 points lost.
(I legitimately didnât know what to do for this car because itâs so stupid, so I just came up with some nonsense)
7 Likes
My Loving Housing Report
Look, I donât know anything about the housing market so Iâll be trying.
The housing market is in quite a state, with the average person being unable to buy a house. Housing prices have increased out of control, and have turned into more of an investment than an actual you know; House. A home.
Luckily, with Automation The Housing Production Tycoon, we have 5 houses here ready to be reviewed!
The best house will be lived in by John Bowling, the man pictured here.
John Bowling like many of us, is not ultra-rich, but is interested in having a family.
We start with out lowest rated housing, Pack Of Marlboro Reds.
(@Fayeding_Spray)
They seem to have incorrectly painted the art on the house to start with, which already leads to suspicions of low build quality.
It only has one door, which may lead to problems with putting all your children and family through into it at once. Do you really want to make grandma wait?
Speaking of, the house is very small, especially considering the cost.
109k is reasonably low considering the usual price, but itâs still super expensive considering it has no bowling alley! Every house needs a bowling alley, and this one only has 500 cigarretes. For this reason, this is John Bowlingâs least favorite option, even if it is very agile and can run the nordschleife in 6 minutes and 53 seconds! Which is undoubtedly faster than the average house, which can do it in 999:59:59.999!
Still, it loses 500 points, 1 per cigarette.
Next up is THE BUS THE BUS THE BUS THE BUS THE BUS THE BUS THE BUS THE BUS THE BUS THE BUS
(@Chaedder)
IT HAS BEEN MULTIPLE WEEKS SINCE I STARTED WRITING THIS I DONT KNOW WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY ANYMORE
THE BUS THE BUS THE BUS is John Bowlingâs second option. But what is it? A poem? It is quite large, but it is filled with BetterDeals! Who wants their house to be made out of BetterDeals construction materials?
Sounds like a bad idea to me, so it scores low on build quality.
Itâs cheap though! This could save the housing market if it wasnt made from BetterDeals construction materials, as its cost is only 15300! Wow, what a deal!
:3 :3 :3 :3 :3 
The inclusion of jet engines perplexes me though. Why must a house need jet engines? The wheels should do, no? Will it be flying? I thought Bowling Balls were built to a specific standard and regulations, so how can it play?
My thoughts: Chevrolet Chevrolet Chevrolet Chevrolet
+53 points estimated for how many points it scored in the bowly!
Next is @Ringu 's Semi - Trailer Race - Hauler.
-1000 points. No elaboration.
Castle! Castle! Castle! Castle! (@Edsel)
This is perfect! The price is reasonable at about 120k which is a good price for a house.
But how do the wooden wheels hold it up? It seems like a weak foundation that could easily crack if an American decided to go into it. The build quality is bad. But what do you expect, itâs Edsel! That company went bankrupt 900 million years ago before the meteor killed the dinosaurs, the design must be from before when god decided there would be The Light When You Die!
It is ancient! It does not fit with the trends! It even has horses, yet no backyard? They will just run away with orange man! Why he so ourple? Bwoh.
He is so out of style queen! Yas! Ok boomer⌠Youâve won the internet, congratulations. Have some gold fellow stranger, Keanu Reeves wholesome no no heâs got a point! Buh! Buh huh huh. I am Lord Crump, I have invaded this review to advertise my new product, Super Robot Clean! Now, I must run off again as Grodus will see me. Internet connection in Poshley Heights sucksâŚ
Final Ratingest; +360 points, 100 per horse and losing 10 per wheel for bad build quality.
Finally, is the Knugcamp (@Knugcab)
My computer is going to explode, but John Bowling is impressed. This is a house! On wheels!
Itâs cheap too, at only 29300! Who would think you could get a house for that price! And it can move!
One has to wonder how they produce this masterpiece⌠Is it from children in Bangladesh? Maybe by an AI overlord? Are Lord Crump and Grodus behind this?
Which demon did you sell your soul to to make this so cheap? UntrustworthyâŚ
It has everything you want, including BetterDeals RC car and⌠Well what else would you want, thatâs the only thing you need to live.
To those who know 
please tell us at My Loving Housing, as we are unsure if there are satanic rituals in the floor. We hear weird stuff rattling when we walk on it though.
Rating of the house. +500 (BEST)
Now, trust me that I gave up in the middle of writing this because I legitimately donât know what my plans were anymore.
But: Best House award goes to Knugcamp. Because I said so.
Hebrews are found! Outlook is a fucking stupid software. 8:17PM. Talk Tuah rizzy Mango Mango Mango or something.
8 Likes
YOU FORGOT THE CUBE! THE CUBE IS HOUSING!!! YOU CAN LIVE CUBE DEDICATE LIFE TO CUBE WORSHIP THE CUBE THE CUBE THE CUBE!!!
this is outrage i cannot possibly express my feelings on the matter
4 Likes
Forgot the limo, too.
3 Likes
Im sorry, the housing market was too weak. They have been moved into Housing Market Section 99, Individual Housing for the Rich. This goes for the cube too.
4 Likes
Yes, the Knugcamp is handcrafted with great precision by only the most skilled children in Bangladesh. How did you know?
8 Likes
Ah shit, did I really forget to unmirror the logo on the front⌠damn it.
1 Like