"Yup, that's a flat alright," pointed Maria, gesturing towards the front-right tire deflated over a patch of silver gravel. "I'd bet that railroad had something to do with it. I'm surprised it's lasted this long."
Leonard and Maria were alone on the side of the road, with no sounds other than the buzz of insects in the fields of grass, a gentle wind flowing around the rocky peaks, and a ticking from the FB-396, hot metal contracting from the shutdown motor. Shadows in the field were growing longer, the evening sunset would be approaching soon.
âNice,â Leonard responded, gently kicking the flat tire. âWell letâs get this thing changed while we still have daylight.â
Leonard climbed into the car searching for their tools, the seatâs leather skreaking under the shifting body weight. Now where did I put those? Did they fall under the suitcases? He lifted their suitcases one by one from the rear footwell and set them outside of the car, careful not to scratch or tear their exterior. Nope, not there, looking back at the now empty floorboard. Perhaps they shifted underneath the seats? He leaned down under the dashboard to check, being met with the seat rails outlining nothing but dust, debris, and a dried-out half-used canister of lip gloss. Uh-oh, not there, thought Leonard, accidently bumping his head on the steering wheel on the way back up.
I didnât forget them at the hotel, did I? Leonard felt a cold sweat forming as he ran through that morningâs events.
I remember the car started rough this morning, so I grabbed the bag from the footwell, took out my screw driver, and retuned the carburetor. Then, another team asked if they could borrow our tools so they could take off their auxiliary lights. Did I forget to get them back?
Leonard pondered for a moment, looking at Maria who was still waiting by the flat. No, I remember getting them back. Maria reminded me to before they started their first stage. So where else would they be? Leonard thought and thought, swatting away a fly that was buzzing by his ear. âAha!â he exclaimed.
Climbing out of the car, he pulled a box from the carâs roof rack and opened it, seeing a leather bag inside. Leonard glanced at the rest of the luggage strapped beside it. Spare fuel can, the black vinyl tool case, Mariaâs overnight bag. Everything seemed to be there. Good, he thought. At least we didnât forget anything important.
âI thought I lost these,â Leonard exclaimed, taking the bag out before returning the box to the roof rack. âI remembered we tightened the wheel nuts during lunch. Forgot tossing this up there.â
âPhew, that was a close call,â teased Maria. âFor a sec I thought weâd be stuck here.â Maria opened the leather tool bag, still stained with light grease from their earlier tune-ups, and pulled out a flathead screwdriver. âI can work on getting this hubcap off while you grab the spare.â
Weâd be stuck here. Leonard mulled over the comment. Youâd be stuck here with me, thatâs what you really thought. As Maria began prying at the hubcap, Leonard walked towards the rear of the car. What could be worse than being stuck with me? Leonard continued thinking. Nothing really, youâve got enough proof for that.
Reaching the back of the car, Leonard stared at the FB-396âs rear badge, its white paint and chrome accents shimmering amongst the surrounding blue car body. Alright, keep it together. Remember why youâre here. Itâs just to get some experience with this car and recording tweaks to make. Thatâs it. Just some research for the next facelift.
Leonard reached for the trunk handle, chrome and covered in road grime. Pop. Lifting the door, he was greeted by the spare tire, secured to the floor through a set of bolts.
Walking back towards the flat, Leonard saw Maria still prying at the hubcap, struggling to get it off. âEvery time itâs about to come off, the damn thing snaps itself back in place!â exasperated Maria, getting some dirt on her skirt as she kept prying at the wheel.
âYeah, those tend to do that,â chuckled Leonard. âHere, let me help.â
Maria handed him the screwdriver,and Leonard knelt next to her, grabbing another screwdriver from the bag. âOn these wheels, you need to use two screwdrivers to stop it from popping back in.â Finding a small gap, Leonard pried the first screwdriver underneath the hubcap. âI had my team design them to stay on, just in case the car takes a sharp turn or hits a large bump.â
With the second screwdriver, Leonard found another gap on the opposite side of the wheel. âThey have a side effect of being somewhat tricky to take off, but if you position your tools juuust rightâŠâ Gently pushing in on both screwdrivers, the hubcap made a sharp ping! before coming loose. âThey pop right off every time.â
âWell look at you, Mr. Engineer,â quipped Maria, picking up the chrome hubcap from the gravel. âSay, where did you learn to work on cars? Arenât designers supposed to make a mechanicâs life a living hell?â
Leonard gave Maria a look, then laughed. âI mean, that is true, but I wasnât always a designer.â
Leonard chuckled some more, picking the wrench he needed out of the tool bag before moving back to the trunk.
âOh, is that so?â asked Maria, playful as ever. âWhat were you, then?â
âWell, before this job, and before designing parts for Njord Maritime Solutions, I used to be a manufacturing engineer for an amateur racing team.â Leonard began loosening the bolts holding the spare down. âIt wasnât a very good team, mind you. They had this dumb idea of cramming a V16 into a chassis that definitely could not handle the excessive power. I guess fortunately for the driver, they could never figure out how to get that engine to work,â Leonard chuckled, removing the first bolt from the spare. âIt was a bit of a shame, too. Before I joined, I heard that team used to be quite competitive. I spent most of my time working on the suspension, not that it really helped in the end - I mean, thereâs no go if thereâs no working engine.â
âA V16!?â repeated Maria, surprised at the story. âYeesh, no wonder youâre not with them anymore! That group sounds like theyâre⊠theyâreâŠâ Maria paused, looking for the right word. âMorons! Nincompoops! Nimrods!â She gave Leonard a smirk, their eyes meeting each other before Maria looked away, blushing. âWell Iâm glad youâre with us now. I mean⊠just look at this car you made! Imagine if you didnât leave.â
âI didnât leave,â responded Leonard, temporarily stopping before continuing to loosen the last bolt. âAt least⊠not voluntarily.â
âNo?â asked Maria, tilting her head to the side. âWhat happened?â
Inside, Leonard began to reminisce his last few years with the racing team. Vilda. She was a sweet girl, going out of her way to check in on you, always asking what you were doing at work, when sheâd invite you to go play mini golf or swim at the pool after your shifts ended. She liked you. You liked her. That much was obvious.
But what happened when you told her how you felt? She said she was already in a relationship with the team principle. Thatâs where you should have stopped, but you lost your self control. She made it clear she wasnât interested, yet you kept trying, even though you knew she was already committed. You know how wrong that is? Of course you did, you even vowed that if someone did that to you, youâd lose any respect you had for them. You hypocrite.
Even if the team principle never found out, even if somehow you both got together, you know it never would have lasted. You never went beyond just asking her again, at least youâve got that, but how do you know you wouldnât push it further? That you would have just hurt Vilda in the long run?
But the team principle did find out, and - rightly - he fired you. Itâs your fault, Leonard. Itâs your fault for violating your values. Losing your career in racing was your punishment, and here you are about to make that same mistake again.
âIâŠ,â Leonard paused, feeling tears starting to well before regaining composure. âI-I rather not talk about it.â
âOhâŠâ Maria could see something was bothering Leonard, choosing not to push him too far. âIâm here if you ever need to talk, ok?â
Leonard ignored Mariaâs comment, focusing his attention towards removing the spare. With the last fastener removed, and a big huff, Leonard took the spare out of the trunk, rolling it towards the flat. Tools and parts in place, Leonard began to run through his checklist. Spare? Check. Lug nut wrench? Check. Iâve got everything I need. Kneeling down next to the flat, Leonard got to work removing the lug nuts, Maria standing behind him watching him work.
âHey, I was meaning to ask,â pondered Maria, listening to the gravel rub underneath her pivoting foot. âDid you have anything going on? After the rally? I was curious if-â
âIâm a bit busy here,â interrupted Leonard in an irritated tone. A bit busy. Nice one Leonard. Letâs just throw her down into the gravel. Excellent work, asshole.
âRight. Sorry,â Maria said softly. The rejection in her voice was a sharp blade, and Leonard felt it twist in his gut. Any playful energy that was there was gone, snuffed out like a candle. The only sound being the mechanical click-click-click from the wrench on the lug nuts, contrasted by the buzzing from the insects surrounding them, now reminding Leonard that the sun was getting closer to the horizon.
With the last nut off, Leonard paused. I did forget something⊠the jack. Picking himself up off the gravel, Leonard moved toward the back of the FB-396. Why did you have to lash out at her, Leonard? He thought. Sheâs just trying to help.
He checked the side panels, being met with an empty void where a scissor jack would have sat. Great, this again, he thought to himself. He rummaged through the trunk picking up bags and parts, searching every crevice and cranny he could think of. Defeated, he called out to Maria. âHey, do you know where the jack is?â
Maria, who had been staring out into the ever darkening valley, turned around. "âItâs in the black vinyl case, Leo. Right where it always is.â
Black case? I donât remember seeing a black case? Wait, no, I do, itâs in the roofrack by the fuel can. Leonard stood up, climbed toward the roof rack, and removed some more bags and boxes from the roof rack before finally coming in sight with the case. âFound it.â No response.
Returning to the flat, Leonard began to open the case. Hmmm⊠it seems a bit light for having a jack inside, Leonard thought to himself. With the lid open, he peered inside, only to be greeted with no jack.
âMaria?â Leonardâs voice was thin.
âYeah?â
âWhere did you put the jack?â Leonardâs heart began to race.
âDidnât I tell you itâs in the black vinyl case?â
âI wouldnât be asking you if it was there,â quipped Leonard, now growing impatient.
âAre you sure itâs not in there? I could have sworn I packed it in there.â
âMaria, Iâve checked the case. Itâs not there.â
ââŠWhat?â
âThereâs nothing in it,â pointed Leonard, anger bubbling inside of him.
Maria stared at him, but had no answer.
âWhere is it?â Panicking, he ran back to the trunk, tearing it apart. He desperately looked for any spot he missed in a frenzy all over the car. Itâs not in the trunk. Itâs not in the side panels. Itâs not in the door panels. Itâs not under the seats. Itâs not in the rear floorboards. Itâs in none of the boxes, bags, or anywhere in the roof rack. âWhere is it!?â
âI⊠IâŠ,â quietly stammered Maria. âI-I donât know, I swore I packed it.â
The realization settled in his gut like lead. There was no jack. The tire was not getting fixed. He was stuck on the side of the road, with Maria, and nothing to hide behind. Leonard slumped against the passenger door, his legs finally giving out. His hands were now coated in a mixture of grease and the salt of fresh sweat.
âWeâre stuck,â he whispered. âWeâre actually stuck.â
âLeo⊠itâs okay,â Maria said, stepping closer. âThe sweep car will come through eventually. We can just sit and-â
âNo, itâs not okay!â Leonard snapped, the sudden volume surprising even him. He stood and paced along the narrow strip of asphalt, running a hand through his hair. âItâs never just okay with me,â he said bitterly. âI try to plan everything. I checked the car. I packed the tools. I did the math for every stage. And somehow I still screw it up.â
He looked at the flat, his world collapsing under the crippling heat and the deafening buzz of insects around him. He laughed sharply, feeling rawness developing in the back of his throat. "You just canât trust me. I try⊠so hard⊠to do things right, but thereâs no point. Iâm the mistake.â
Maria opened her mouth to respond, but Leonard was already unraveling.
âI didnât want to come on this trip,â he admitted, gesturing helplessly between them. âNot because of the rally. Because of this. I knew four days in a car with you would end like this eventually.â
He stopped pacing, staring down the road. He watched the air above the tarmac ripple, feeling sweat dripping down his back.
âIâd say something stupid. Or mess something up. Or justâŠâ He exhaled slowly. ââŠtell you the truth.â
His voice dropped.
âThat I havenât been able to focus on work for months. Every time I sit at that drafting table I end up thinking about you sitting across from me.â
Leonard stared down at his boots, hands trembling as he wiped the burning sensation of salted sweat from his eyes.
âAnd then youâd leave,â he said in a quiet, shaky voice. âJust like everyone else.â
For a moment neither spoke. Wind moved through the tall grass by the roadside, a rippling ocean of green surrounding them in this sea of isolation. A few small ticks from under the car the only sound contrasting with the endless chirping of grasshoppers.
When Leonard spoke again, his voice was smaller. âYou know why I left that job?â He swallowed. âI didnât leave. I got fired.â
He stared out into the darkening valley.
âI pushed for something that was never there,â he said. âAnd I hurt someone who didnât deserve it.â
The two sat in silence for a long while, watching their world go by, changing. The last of the dayâs sunlight faded behind the rocky peaks, replacing the chirping insects with croaking frogs and the intense heat with a cool evening air.
Maria shifted. The gravel crunched under her shoes as she slid down the side of the car, sitting on the earth right next to him. She didnât look at him; she looked at the horizon, where the orange light was being swallowed by a deep, bruised purple.
âYouâre a real piece of work, Hansson,â she said softly. Her voice didnât have the sharp edge of her usual teasing. It was weary, but steady. âYou think youâre the only person whoâs ever made a mess of things? Youâre not.â
Leonard didnât answer. He couldnât. He just stared into the horizon, a man ready to disappear.
âI knew how you felt about me. I mean⊠youâre not exactly good at hiding it.â Maria looked at Leonard with a half smile, before looking back toward the horizon. âAnd just so you know, youâre not a burden.â
Leonard strained, exhaling sharply, keeping his focus on the sunset.
âI picked you for this trip, Leo.â Maria returned her gaze towards him, the last strands of the evening sunset catching her deep, pale green eyes. âI wasnât told to bring you, I wanted to bring you.â
Leonard sighed, exhausted from the situation he found himself in. âBad choice.â
âDamn it, Leo, forgive yourself!â pointed Maria. âI didnât pack the jack. I checked the inventory list three times. I saw it on the bench. I remember thinking, âIâll grab that after I finish my coffee.â And then I didnât. I was too busy thinking about⊠other things.â Maria found her hand was slowly drifting towards his, quietly pulling back.
âI donât know what happened to you in your past. Maybe you did fuck up, but youâre here now, right? And do you know what I see? Someone who cares so much about what everyone else thinks of you that you forgot to think about what you want.â
âIâŠâ Leonard had nothing to say. She was right. Leonard swallowed, his throat dry. The words sat heavy in his chest, but there was nothing left in him to fight with.
âI⊠I donât know how,â replied Leonard, dejected.
Maria didnât answer right away. The sky had deepened to violet now, the last light bleeding behind the distant peaks. Crickets had joined the frogs, their chorus filling the quiet space between them with a soothing symphony of chirps and croaks.
After a moment she leaned her elbows on her knees. âYou donât have to know how,â she said. âYou just have to stop assuming the worst outcome every time something matters to you.â
Leonard gave a weak laugh. âRight, like that strategy has worked out well.â
âMaybe,â Maria said with a shrug. âBut hiding hasnât worked either.â She nudged his boot with the toe of her shoe, watching him under the darkening sky. âAnd for the record, you didnât ruin the rally.â
âI think your broken car begs to differ,â quipped Leonard.
âWhich means weâll be the last to Luremburg, eat dinner late, and probably get mocked by the other teams,â Maria replied. âHardly the end of the world.â
She tilted her head toward him. âAnd we finished the stage, only five seconds off the target. Thatâs actually impressive considering you were halfway ready to jump out of the car."
Leonard snorted despite himself. âYou noticed that, huh?â
âOh please,â Maria said, playfully bumping his shoulder. âYou were gripping that stopwatch like it owed you money.â
For the first time in what felt like hours, Leonard felt the knot in his chest loosen slightly. Maybe she does care, he thought to himself. Even though I pushed her away, sheâs still here, by me. But⊠why?
They sat quietly again. The valley had grown darker now, only a faint ribbon of pale sky lingering above the hills. Above them, some of the first stars came into the view twinkling above them, a evening peace settling over the valley.
Maria was the first to break this new silence. âCan I ask you something?â
Leonard braced instinctively. He had not forgotten his past, dreading her question. âYouâre going to ask anyway.â
âCorrect,â Maria replied, slightly turning towards him. âWhen you said youâd tell me the truth⊠was that it? Or is there something you left out?â
Leonard rubbed his palms against his trousers, smearing grease across the fabric. Every instinct in his body screamed at him to deflect, change the subject, or make a joke. Try and pretend the whole thing never happened. There was no point now, though. Maria knew something was up, and hiding it any longer wouldnât work. âThe truth isâŠâ he began, staring at the gravel between his feet, âI like you, Maria.â
Leonard paused for a moment, realizing what he had just said.
âIâve liked you for months,â he continued. âProbably longer than that. I just kept telling myself it was a bad idea.â He took a deep breath, running his fingers through his hair. âSo I buried it under work,â he said, looking down at the ground below him. âOr convinced myself youâd never feel the same way. Or that if I said anything it would just end the same way everything else has.â
He shook his head, âAnd I didnât want to lose you as a friend.â He finally looked towards her, seeing her study him with an expression he couldnât quite read.
âWell,â she responded slowly. âThat explains a lot.â
Leonard blinked, feeling both relief and confusion. ââŠThatâs it?â
âWell, I donât know. What were you expecting?â
âI donât know,â he admitted. âLaughter? Awkward silence? You telling me that youâre married to a man built like a brick house?"
Maria burst out laughing, Leonard joining with her.
She brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. âLeo⊠I didnât bring you on this rally just to test the car, or keep the thing running, or to give me the wrong directions." She playfully punched him in the arm, âDefinitely not to give me wrong directions.â
Leonard caught himself rubbing his arm - she punches hard, he thought to himself.
âYouâre one of the most thoughtful people I know,â she continued. âI mean, you clearly care about what I think about you, right?â Maria smiled, âMy point is, I like you too.â
For a moment Leonard simply stared at her, certain heâd misheard. âYou⊠what?â
âI like you,â she repeated, her smile turning into a grin. âThough I will admit, a nervous breakdown in the middle of nowhere wasnât exactly the romantic confession I had in mind.â
âOh God,â he sighed to himself, burying his head in his hands. âI really made myself look like a fool, did I?â
âOh, I knew you were a fool long before that,â teased Maria. âHonestly? I think itâs kind of charming.â
Leonard lifted his head from his hands, his hair disheveled. âYouâve got to be joking, right?â
âOnly a little,â leaning back against the car door beside him. âYou know what the funny part is?â she said. âI was actually trying to ask you something earlier.â
Leonard groaned, âBefore I snapped at you.â
âYeah.â
âThat being?â
Maria hesitated, suddenly looking a bit less confident. âI was going to ask if you wanted to stay an extra day after the rally,â she responded, playing with her hair again. âIâve heard the river by Ungenstadt is mighty refreshing to swim in. I thought itâd be fun to relax in the water together.â
âYou were asking me out on a date.â
âWell I was attempting to,â Maria corrected. âBefore you interrupted me."
Leonard stared out into the darkening valley, stunned. For years he had been so certain that every possibility would end badly that he never allowed himself to see when something might actually go right.
âBesides,â she added casually, stretching her legs in the gravel beside him before resting her hand in Leonardâs. âWeâve got at least two more days together, and I need my navigator to make sure we donât go careening down a cliff.â
Leonard laughed, a real one this time, âIâll try my best.â
âGood.â
They sat quietly again, the night settling around them. For the first time since as long as he could remember, Leonard had a glimpse of hope for his personal future. I donât know if this is going to last, he thought. I may eventually mess this up, but frankly? Hell with it. Just enjoy this moment while you can.
After a few minutes Leonard glanced down the empty road. âI donât think thereâs any cars coming, Maria.â
âI guess not,â replied Maria, getting up from the ground before making a big stretch. âWeâre probably going to have to limp the car towards civilization. Hop in, navigator.â
Climbing back into the FB-396, Leonard opened up the route book while Maria started the car, the dinky inline four purring to life between the carâs illuminated headlights.
âSoâŠâ asked Leonard nervously. âDoes this count as our first date?â
âIâm not sure,â replied Maria, shifting the car into first before slowly pulling forward. âYou havenât bought me dinner yet.â