Normandy - Tastefully Refined Genocide

[VosNox]

I realize I make a lot of threads, if you guys want to delete the other ones that’s cool. This will be my new thread.

In 1974. Normandy’s luxury division, Dane Design, released the Curanih (pronouced Coo-ruh-Neye). The name is a portmanteau of the Latin “cura” meaning “concern”, and “Nihil” meaning “nothing.”
This is a car for people who’ve gone through the gauntlet of life and come out wiser and more experienced. This isn’t a car driven to impress. There is no “keeping up with the Jones’s” with the Curanih. You drive this car because you don’t care. You have no concerns. You’re done with the rat race. There is no hurry, there is no rush. There is only you, this car, and life. Like Charon on the River Styx, this car guides you to your forever.

With its 216 HP i6 coupled with either a 5-speed Manual or 3-speed Automatic RWD Gearbox, it is capable of achieving a top speed of 111 MPH and 0 - 62 in 7.3 seconds.

But those are just numbers. And numbers don’t matter to people who know better. This car doesn’t get looks of awe. This car garners looks of respect.

[jhd1124]

Great looking car!

[VosNox]

With the Valiant making it’s name on the Big Screen and in popular culture, Normandy pulled what it thought would be it’s successor. The Miran. A 2-door, mid engine sport compact that was defined by the mantra “Power and reliability through simplicity.” The name “Miran” translated from Serbian means “Calm” and “easy”. It never actually made it big, as a follow up sports car, as a different market claimed it. The college students. Who needed something cheap and reliable reveled in the Mirans glory. Said a known automotive magazine columnist… “So, the Miran is a vehicle that possesses a subdued yet distinct charm. It makes a bold statement, but is never brash. Its’ legacy might never live up to the likes of Porsche or Ferrari, but it easily holds it’s own to its more direct competitors from Toyota and Honda. Just regular car. No showing off, just showing up and getting the job done.”

It was cheap. Easy to maintain. And easy to live with. There was noted to be some difficulty in getting to every nook of the engine, but due to the fact that it was designed by Toyota, you never really had to. In the even you needed to however, it took just 10 bolts and the entire engine/gearbox/differential assembly came off with ease.

The Miran came with three trim options, each available with a 5-speed manual or an optional 4-speed automatic gearbox.
ST: 2.0L SOHC i4, producing 131 HP
GT: 2.0L DOHC i4, producing 140 HP
TC: 2.0L DOHC Turbocharged i4, producing 205 HP.

The GT and TC models came with suspension and brake upgrades, a better interior, as well as an option AWD gearbox.

[CNSpots1]

[quote=“VosNox”]I realize I make a lot of threads, if you guys want to delete the other ones that’s cool. This will be my new thread.

In 1974. Normandy’s luxury division, Dane Design, released the Curanih (pronouced Coo-ruh-Neye). The name is a portmanteau of the Latin “cura” meaning “concern”, and “Nihil” meaning “nothing.”
This is a car for people who’ve gone through the gauntlet of life and come out wiser and more experienced. This isn’t a car driven to impress. There is no “keeping up with the Jones’s” with the Curanih. You drive this car because you don’t care. You have no concerns. You’re done with the rat race. There is no hurry, there is no rush. There is only you, this car, and life. Like Charon on the River Styx, this car guides you to your forever.

With its 216 HP i6 coupled with either a 5-speed Manual or 3-speed Automatic RWD Gearbox, it is capable of achieving a top speed of 111 MPH and 0 - 62 in 7.3 seconds.

But those are just numbers. And numbers don’t matter to people who know better. This car doesn’t get looks of awe. This car garners looks of respect.[/quote]

Holy ****, please tell me that total cost is a glitch.

I wasn’t even aware it was possible to make something that expensive to build on the current Automation.

[VosNox]

Numbers are just that. I never really pay attention. If you look at my newest, which is only $5900. The numbers in sandbox are meaningless.

[VosNox]

Since my Photo Shop skills border on zero, I’ve decided to try something a little different.

Scene: World Cup 2018, half-time. Fade to black.

The Commercial opens in total darkness. With naught but the voice of a older British gentleman. He has a low, baritone and powerful voice. One that denotes experience, pride, and respect. He could be a politician or an actor, but his voice demands your attention.

“They say… There are no more heroes.”

At this point, dark and moody strings play, along with angry drums. A male choir.

Cut to a series of flashing imagery in letterbox form. BA Quick, half-second clips of engines revving. Wheels spinning. Shift knobs being slammed into gear. Tires screeching. Its obviously a car tearing around a track.

“They say… All good things must come to an end.”

Sounds of metal crashing and powerful horns accompany the strings and drums.

Cut to more imagery with a slightly wider letterbox format. A face. The eyes are twitching as if trying to keep up with the world around them. An echoed heartbeat and heavy breath. The same vehicle before whips passed, the same engine note accompanying a startling woosh.

“They say… Love is all you need.”

A lone female singer belts out a somber and dramatic tone

Wider letterbox flashing imagery. The rev counter twitching through gears. A speedometer climbing. The engine pulsing with power within the rear bay.

“They say…” The music builds “Far too much”

The music builds and builds until it crashes down on itself.

Cut to a reel of a car driving on a track, cutting corners and moving very fast. A distant echo of the engine and a bark of the over run from a gear change. You’re seeing the track from a bumper cam.

The commercial ends in pitch blackness with a car power sliding into frame. The head lights kick on and “Coming this summer” emblazoned on the screen.

I was thinking of “Strength of a Thousand Men” by Two Steps From Hell, as the music.

[VosNox]

Um… No offense, but could someone please translate this into English?

[VosNox]

With the Anniversary of Normandy Automotive’s inception upon them, the boffins back at Research were charged with a task that would define both their careers and their lives. Create a vehicle for the New York International Auto Show that showcases both what Normandy is about and what it’s capable of. So they grabbed a failed car from 50 years ago, crammed the biggest engine they could create into the front of it, souped up the body and flew it there.

Upon reveal of the project, there was an palpable silence in the arena. “Does it run?” Asked a brave photographer. “I uh… shit…” Responded the lead developer. “You guys over there should maybe move over…” He meekly asked a few audience members. With that, he clamored into the cock pit, pressed a few buttons, flipped a few switches and cautiously held his finger over the ignition button. A stern nod from the CEO was all it took. The sound that filled the air was nothing short of war on the ears of everyone there. The exhausts spit flames no less than eight feet, setting a light a near by Mercedes prototype. The flames themselves burned in concert with the mighty roar of the engine, fueled by the souls of the beings who were forever damned with each spark. Never in this world, had anyone attempted to think of what the sounds of thousands of dinosaurs screeching in eternal agony might sound like. Now, they most certainly knew.

*As an aside, I wish to god the game came with the option for blowers.

[strop]

hahahahaha yes I see you have also discovered the wonders that is the engine bay of the '75 Falcon body. So, how many horses you get outta that block?

[VosNox]

Only 2500, but you know… numbers aren’t that important.

[VosNox]

Lemme ask you a question? What do you do if a famed British journalist and extreme petrol head shows up at your door and asks you if you can take his favorite classic car, and make it go as fast as a Veyron? What do you do?

I’ll tell you what you do. You stand at attention, offer a firm hand shake and say but three words. “Hell, fucking, yes.” At that point, you sashay your ass down the stairs and into the break room which has been recently been completely trashed by the boys from the skunk works the night before. You step over the empty Jeager bottles, the broken beer bottles, dance around every bodily fluid imaginable and kick the boys from the drunken slumber. You drag all seven of them into the office for a video-conference with that one guy at DARPA who owes you a solid for hooking him up with his now wife and you lay it all down. At the end of the conference, your friend from DARPA is reasonably stunned, half your team is still far too drunk to stand and the other half is very much unconscious.

You stomp your mighty CEO boot down and tell them to get the work. Not after they pick up their kids from school. Not after they call their probation officer. Not after breakfast. Now. Then, you pour their floppy asses onto a forklift, find a workshop and queue the music.

4.O L BiTurbo Flatplane V8 with 1157 HP and 703 Ft-Lbs of Torque bolted an 8-speed double-clutch, sequential RWD gearbox, which will push it to a top speed 238 MPH.

[strop]

LOL.

How in god’s name did you manage to get the vents on the bonnet to do that? Also, I see it isn’t too shabby in the corners, what does it do around Nordschleife? 7:30ish? I’m adding time because it’s FR layout and those take a huge hit in driveability.

Also, I’ve noticed your company really employs an unsavoury bunch, I like them already haha. What nationality is your company? [size=85]It’s for my writeup of the 1000 horses shootout in progress[/size]

[VosNox]

The vents in question are by Kubboz, available here.
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=4734&start=20

As for the Green hell time it does it in about 7:42. Not really what it’s for.

The boys back in the “Skunk Works”, or as its referred to on the tax documents, the “Black-Box Research Program” are former employee’s of various other engineering, chemical, bio-tech companies who were terminated for extreme methods. Usage of the terms “illegal”, “immoral”, “unethical”, and “down-right monstrous” are keywords we plug into our potential hire catalog. They do great work when given leave to think for themselves and are left alone. So, every time they collectively fart out a masterpiece, we give them a bonus and let them fuck off for the weekend. The results of this are, as previous described… Well…

As of yet, their most famous adventure was to trundle down to a Chucky Cheese, or whatever your Australian variant is, in a rented U-Haul filled with several strippers, experimental weapons technology and an amount of alcohol that was measured in metric tons. The end result of this little escapade was featured on the evening news with a member of the CDC saying, among many, many other things: “Legally speaking, this building can no longer be classified as a restaurant, but more akin a fluid convention held on a laundry hamper” and “…The radiation emanating from this structure will likely get arrested for public intoxication long before it can hurt anyone”, and finally “What was done here is so disgusting that if anyone ever licks a stamp for a letter to this address, they will die of AIDS.”

As such, the answer your last question is somewhere in the north pacific. We had to move shop because of protests and other crap. Something about child-labor laws, public indecency and illegal dumping. However, for tax purposes, all our mail is addressed to a dilapidated house somewhere near an abandoned British Leyland factory.

[VosNox]

We at Normandy realize the automotive world is changing. What with high gas prices, devil fuels like diesel and bio-ethanol, and electric motors. Not to mention the crap the smart car. And if need be, we will drag ourselves into the future, kicking and screaming… Someday. But not this day. You see, along with a myriad of undiagnosed, and, let’s face it, more than likely, extremely dangerous mental conditions, we are, all of us, extremely afraid of change. So, until it becomes illegal to produce super cars, we will continue to rape the environment and burn the atmosphere.

That being said. The drunks back in the skunk works have created not one, but two cars. The Scion, a sleek and streamlined racing machine, and its malformed bastard brother, the Jericho.
Both come equipped with a modern version of our famous ZF1 racing engine producing roundabout 1000 HP. Couple that with either a 7 speed manual, or option 8-speed double-clutch sequential gearbox connected to either a RWD or AWD rear end and you have a street legal racing monster(s).

[Jakgoe]

How much (if at all) were you inspired by the C7 Corvette when designing the back end of the Scion?

[CNSpots1]

What exactly do you smoke/drink before you write your descriptions? They’re great.

I really like the Jerico as well.

[strop]

The lower half of the rear of the scion reminds me of the R8, but not that much come to think of it!

[size=85]Edit: I freaking hate typos.[/size]

[Jakgoe]

@strop

The lower half of the rear of the scion reminds me of the R8, but not that much cone to think of it!

Really? Is it that black shape that goes up on the sides? I see it as purely Corvette-inspired. It will be interesting to see how VosNox designed it.

[VosNox]

@ NCSSpots1: It usually takes me about 4 hours take each car. During that time, I start to sense the cars prose and personality. So, by the time the is actually done, the story is already written. Its just a matter of making it legible.

@ Strop: fuck if I know.

@ Jackgoe: I dunno.

[TheTom]

@Jakgoe

[quote=“strop”]The lower half of the rear of the scion reminds me of the R8, but not that much cone to think of it!

Really? Is it that black shape that goes up on the sides? I see it as purely Corvette-inspired. It will be interesting to see how VosNox designed it.[/quote]

That’s actually pretty easy to do. Just take the grille with the rounded edges at the bottom and stretch it across the whole width of the car, then take an indent of the grille with the rounded edges on the top and turn it upside down, place it on top of the grille and put the exhausts below the indent and add some white indicators. Hope that helps

And i like the rear end of the Scion, good job VosNox