Genocide ??! i dont understand this one
1 Like
It’s a VosNox thing. There’s one on every forum 
1 Like
Me neither.
@DracoAutomations and @NormanVauxhall
I created a car called the Slya last year, and described it’s production methods, and the materials therein as being “Tastefully Refined Genocide”. Implying that the number of cows and/or trees murdered on behalf of a car would likely be seen as war crime by the world at large.
3 Likes
Finally it makes sense to me. Thanks for the explanation.
1 Like
Here are two new cars, plus two more that I’ll post after work.
I usually don’t do cheap-ass city cars, but, you know what they say… New year, new you.
The green one there is the Cricket. a two door, four seat eco-box built for the city. It comes with a 650CC i3 with an astonishingly horrid 52 hp. But it makes up for that with 43 MPG. It comes with a 5-speed manual or Automatic gearbox, and sells for $9000, or $9500 respectively.
The red one is the Fox. A two door, two seater pseudo SUV machine with an 850CC i3 putting out 72 HP and getting 32 MPG. This also comes with a 5-speed manual or automatic gearbox. Sticker price is $10k and $10.5k respectively.
Both of these are cheap as fuck for a reason. They’re both made of fiberglass to save weight, have all but the minimum legally required safety requirements. They come with a radio, but no GPS, no Bluetooth, no touchscreen. You’ll get Power steering and ABS and that’s it. The Cricket doesn’t even come with electric windows or doors.
These are great first cars for your kids. Great inner-city college cars too. Yes, the safety is of some concern, but if you want cheap well … If you don’t care about your kids safety, than neither do we.
3 Likes
Howdy partner. What’s that? You finally inherited your daddy’s oil business? Well, shit. Look at you. You shine a light off the teeth it that smile and light up the night sky. But now you have a problem. Now you need a vehicle that says to the world that you’re the biggest shot there is.
Now, you could go buy a Tundra, you’re no commie fag.
Maybe a Chevy 1500. But shit, Uncle Todd says them’s for pussies.
Dodge Ram? You don’t need the world thinking your penis is THAT small.
Ford F250? Seriously. What am I running here, a tow service?
You’ll gaze over your options like a hungry Lion. Hungry, yes, but on one of those famous fad diets to do in Hollywood.
So you need something better. Something more raw. Something more powerful. Something more…
May I present the Blood Hound. Normandy has always stated that they don’t do trucks. And they still don’t. This isn’t a truck. If anything, it’s more akin to an Australian Ute. …not that you’ll know what that is…
It comes with a 5.0l DOHC v8 producing 500 HP and 410 ft-lbs of torque. It comes with 6-speed manual AWD gearbox, and that’s it. Think of it, as that bastard love child between a Ford Raptor and a Subaru Imprezza.
3 Likes
You did it. It took six years and a standing prescription for Prozac and two boxes of red wine a week, but you did it. You made assistant manager.
And with your promotion, everyone at Burger King moves up. Which means there’s room for for more people. So over the next two weeks you are tasked with interviewing about five million people. You setting on two. A 43 year old mother of four and a 19 year old nursing student. You hired the former because she’s qualified, and the ladder because she’s hot.
Then it happened. Two months later, you finally hooked up inside the walk-in freezer after hours. A week later she texts you and tells you shes late. So now what, dumbass? . What do you do?
Well…
Its T-minus 5 months until everyone finds out, including your wife. So you have to make a plan.
You could explain the situation to your beloved wife and hope she forgives you. This might work, however there are three things going against you. 1: She’s your wife. 2: She’s German. and 3: She’s from Jersey. You’re boned.
You could kill a bitch. What? Don’t look at me like that, I’m just the imaginary voice trying to sell you a made up car…
You could run… I mean, obviously we’re doing that. So save your pennies. And by a ride. One that’s no one would suspect. Luckily we have just what you need.
Introducing the 2004 Normandy Crossroad. The van you remember seeing, but never remember looking at.
It comes fresh from our used car lot with the following:
-
A color which could only be described as “half-digested pea soup”
-
An after market hood that was installed because, as the previous owner stated “my brother in law was dicking around on the roof, and fell off.”
-
A missing passenger side door handle. Don’t worry, the door functions, it’s just missing the handle. The previous owner says it was gone when he bought it.
-
An after market unpainted hood scoop which the previous owner says his friends installed.
-
A damaged bumper that has been “Frankensteined” back together. The previous owner claims he “didn’t see the dog”.
-
One missing fog light, and one non-functional fog light.
-
An odd colored mirror, which replaced the stock one the previous owner says was lost in a “water skiing accident”
-
An after market fuel filler cap. The previous owner thought it would make it look cooler.
-
After market decals and chrome appliques which have no purpose on anything.
-
A “Turbo” badge that was stolen from a Honda.
-
A “Normandy” badge which was violated to read “Norman” which became the vans name.
-
An aftermarket spoiler which serves only to prevent the gate from opening completely.
-
And finally, 4 hub caps which have been poorly spray-painted black because the previous owner saw it in a movie, and thought it looked cool.
Mechanically, this van comes with:
-
A 3.0 L v6 which, at one time, produced 240hp. Our in house mechanic believes it’s now closer to 70.
-
A 6-speed automatic gearbox that whines.
-
No power steering.
-
A catastrophic oil leak.
-
No HVAC.
-
Breaks which are functional only the driver side front.
-
4 bald tires. No spare. Or jack.
4 Likes
With all the things to return to, you’ve thought that the best option is a mediocre placeholder worth of a bland minivan built by a clearly uninterested in making it good person, made worse on purpose by introduction of all the cliches of a badly kept and ruined automobile…
Cobaltgirl returned with a snarky remark and a bad joke, and it was a better entrance. Sorry, but try harder to get better praise for your cars.
Also you may ignore what I’ve said and just take this to heart, if you feel like it’s better for you - "GOOD SHOW, BEST RETURN TO THE FORUMS EVER! NORMANDY BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE! WE ARE NOW ALL HYPED! WOOOOOOO RICERVANS!!! "
I wasn’t aware that I had to return with anything. My bad.
1 Like
Well, you are well informed. But the judgement call to return with something bad instead of just returning wasn’t a good one. In any case, as a result, me personally, I’m not interested in any car you produce, so there goes approximately 3% of your audience on this forum (since there’s about 30 active people on here) where you share your car designs…
So, it’s been about a million years since last I uploaded. And, in that vein, I figured, enough with the pomp and circumstance, and silly flavor text. Here’s one of a few projects I’ve been working on. The Silhouette.
Yes, for the curious, that’s underglow.
4 Likes
Considering how great your Kee cars looked (among the best ones I have seen, I think), seeing what you can cook up in the current version of the game will absolutely be interesting.
3 Likes
I can tell that you took one of the Fatale body sets as a base - it wasn’t present in Kee, and after originally being introduced as a mod body, was brought back for 4.3.
2 Likes
