One Last Hurrah [FINAL RESULTS]

Community Challenges & Competitions
99

Team Shitbox Brothers - Start of the race.

Day 0: Rendezvous.

(You know the drill, any dialogue said by Ana or Alejandro, read it in a thick Spanish accent).

Ana steers the car, making sure it doesn’t slide too much on the ice, as they navigate their way through the first few kilometres of the race.

Alejandro: Nice start there!

Ana: Yeah, I can definitely see why you swapped the engine. Now this is power…and reliable power!

Ana shifts into fourth gear.

Alejandro: Doesn’t look like our pace is ba- wait, are these the Vandals and that granny’s team from last time?

Ana: Must’ve broken down or something. Already being helped. Only stop if nobody’s helping the broken down team, remember.

Alejandro: Right, that was the plan, yes. Anyway, this thing pulls, and pulls! Surprised with it. Definitely worth swapping into the car. By the way, I brought a whole new list of synths. High speed themed this time, let me play one.

Alejandro browsed through the playlist, looking for this one. Ana then took a quick glance at the rear view mirror, just an “oh no” barely escaping her lips.

Alejandro: What’s wrong? Oh crap, the Jager is on our tail.

Ana: That so? Let’s see if they can keep the pace up then.

Ana pressed the gas slightly, carefully, just to give it that extra power to get the Jager out of the line of sight. The throttle bodies roared as the Enemigo was pushed towards Montreal.

Morale: +1 (here we go!)
Fatigue: 0 (we have just started)

@Awildgermanappears it’s on you.

6 Likes
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@Mr.Computah

Team Two Mothertrucking Idiots

Music

“Credit where credit is due, this engine does not want to die. It actually has been more reliable after being converted into a five cylinder.”

[In thick russian accent] “SNORE”

“Already?.. OI WAKE UP!” -slaps face-

[In thick russian accent] “Blyat what time is it”

“Time to test out our amazing floppy disc satnav you lazy Gopnik”

[In thick russian accent] “Oh yeah this is going to be brilliant, just let me find the right disc”

-grabs stack of floppy discs-

[In thick russian accent] “This is going to take years, we’ll need to change discs like four times just to get to the next waypoint… but it’ll be worth it anyway, maybe some of the roads are still the same as they were 27 years ago.
…
…
FOUND IT!”

“Only took you four minutes”

[In thick russian accent] “It’ll take a lot longer to process the route”

“Word”

-a few minutes later-

[In thick russian accent] “By all things holy it still works!?! How and Why? I thought the Nav satellite burned up on reentry back in 2009?”

“I believe there still is a backup in space”

[In thick russian accent] “Cyka blyat with this we’re unstoppable, factory satnav in a '91 Jager. No matter what happens next we have won regardless.”

“If the car stays in one piece”

[In thick russian accent] “Legend has it a Jager will run like shit earlier than most cars, but once it runs like shit it’ll run like shit far longer than most cars run at all”

“I want to believe, then again we’re doing quite well atm, not that far off the leaders”

[In thick russian accent] “I spy some of our competitors in the distance, get closer so we can use drafting to conserve fuel”

"I thought this car had full time cylinder deactivation?

[In thick russian accent] “Man Jager were ahead of their time with this one”

“'Murica.
…
Hey that looks like the brown truck thing has had a puncture?”

[In thick russian accent] “Suckers. Should’ve brought a better car. At least Los Tapas Loco seem to be running well, now get drafting.”

“Seems like they’re accelerating. Must be scared of our 4000lb Yolo missile in their rear view mirror. Should I keep on tailing?”

[In thick russian accent] “Nah, the trans won’t kick down into third. Plus it’ll waste our fuel. Just let them waste theirs.”

“That seems reasonable”

Morale: +1 (working early 1990s Satnav)

7 Likes
101

Team Redneck Day 1 10-12

Otis slips on a patch of ice but catches himself from falling, Jake is enjoying the patches by getting a running start and deliberately sliding.

Otis climbs into the drivers seat as Jake climbs into the passenger side.

Otis, “Cross your fingers, and hope this beast starts”

The engine is slow to crank at first then fires up as it starts to speed up.

Jake, “Whew, never seen it do that”

Otis, “Cold oil, cold battery, the engine needs more to start it, and at the same time the battery isn’t able to put out as much”

They line up at the starting line with everyone else and give it an easy go when the green flag waves.

A few minutes down the road as Jake has to wipe the windshield down a second time “Whats taking it so long to warm up”

Otis, “Engine temp is good it should be blowing hot”

Jake removes a glove and checks the temperature comming out of the vent “Its blowing cool” he then reaches down to the heater box and feels it and its plenty warm. “So its flowing, temp is good, fan is blowing strong, it must be the mixer valve” After fumbling around trying to reach in and around where the mixing valve should be Jake looks it up on his phone to see where it is and how its operated. “Servo motor, its electric. That might have been what has been blowing the fuses and relays this whole time”

Otis, “Yeah, well wipe the windshild, make sure its on full defrost, we don’t want it to freeze up with all of the condensation on it.”

Moss Boss calls over the radio with a weather update, and its good news.

Jake, “Looking forward to it.”

The two trudged on trying to make the best of it.

6 Likes
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Legend of Terms:

POI NOTE: I will NOT be pre-warning of upcoming POI points. I will ONLY auto-stop teams for two things: fuel and, when completely exhausted, rest. Anything else you want (including tourist POI, restaurants, premature fuel, rest at any point before complete exhaustion), YOU need to PM me in advance (before I run the time block that you’d complete it in). Also, please don’t map out everything from here to the end in one PM… try to keep it within a couple time blocks.

BD: Block Distance. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
OD: Overall Distance. This is the total distance that the team has covered since the event started.
AT: Ambient Temperature
FS: Fuel Status. Approximate fuel reading. May also include other fuel related concerns.
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Last Town: Last town of note that was passed (will not include tiny villages)
Next Waypoint: Should be self explanatory.
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.

Thursday, 12PM - 2PM

VicVictory:
BD: 102 mi OD: 170 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@Madrias
BD: 98 mi OD: 131 mi AT: 7 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None.

@Mr.Computah
BD: 84 mi OD: 151 mi AT: 7 F FS: 1/2 MRL: -1 FTG: +3 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Major misfire and CEL in rapid succession. Wiring splices for #3 injector had come undone. temporary repair was made quickly.

@Jaimz
BD: 99 mi OD: 167 mi AT: 7 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@Awildgermanappears
BD: 103 mi OD: 170 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None.

@BobLoblaw
BD: 102 mi OD: 167 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@Zabhawkin
BD: 101 mi OD: 168 mi AT: 7 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Heater is weak. Cabin is about 55 degrees, even at full blast.

@HighOctaneLove
BD: 105 mi OD: 175 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Longeuil, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@Fayeding_Spray
BD: 93 mi OD: 143 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Last Town: Drumondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: This vehicle is poorly suited to the conditions.

@DoctorNarfy
BD: 103 mi OD: 171 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Last Town: Drumondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@FindRED19
BD: 100 mi OD: 156 mi AT: 7 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None.

@Puffster
BD: 95 mi OD: 137 mi AT: 8 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Extreme turbo lag is both a boon and a hindrance under the current circumstances.

@stm316
BD: 94 mi OD: 139 mi AT: 4 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Car is poorly suited to the conditions.

@yurimacs
BD: 87 mi OD: 126 mi AT: 7 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Car is poorly suited to the conditions.

@Mythrin
BD: 101 mi OD: 144 mi AT: 8 F FS: 2/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@abg7
BD: 99 mi OD: 164 mi AT: 7 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +1 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@Nicholander
BD: 103 mi OD: 170 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@LordLetto
BD: 101 mi OD: 144 mi AT: 8 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +0 FTG: +2 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: None

@cpufreak101
BD: 103 mi OD: 171 mi AT: 7 F FS: 1/3 MRL: +0 FTG: +3 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Mount Royal Chalet (Montreal, QC)
Notes: Notes

Vehicles that are traveling in packs:
170 miles, south of the St. Lawrence: Takemi, Jager, Townsend
144 miles, south of the St. Lawrence: Ceder, Letto

Note: regardless of side of the river, vehicles within ~5 miles of each other are within CB range.

Team Moss Boss

It was just as the Steel Moss pickup rolled over the bridge spanning the Saint Francois River that Kyle’s phone rang. His stomach churned as he recognized the number; it was the outbound exchange for his office.

He punched the speaker button on his phone. “Parsons here.”

“Parsons!” It was the gruff, smoky voice of his boss, Tom Olssen. “I hope you’re not busy right now.”

Hank arched his eyebrows. Kyle sighed. “Actually I’m driving right now, sir.”

“On the road, huh? Good. Can you swing by the office?”

“Not exactly, sir. I’m in Canada right now.”

“Canada?” Tom growled. “What the hell are you doing up there?”

“I’m on vacation sir. I’m not back until the Monday after that.”

“No, no, that’s not right. I don’t remember that.”

“Sir?” Kyle asked as the knot in his stomach tightened.

“Call me as soon as you pull over, Parsons.”

The call ended abruptly.

It was dead silent inside Townsend, save for the ambient noise of its motor at cruise, and the obnoxious rattling of the now 5-cylinder Jager ahead of them.

“What the hell was that?” Hank finally said after what seemed like an eternity.

“It can’t be good. God, I hate that prick.”

“Why are you still working for them?”

Kyle shrugged. “I’ve got bills to pay.”

“And you’ve got Satan as your boss, apparently. I knew you were unhappy, but that dickweed doesn’t deserve you.”

“Still doesn’t change that I need money to live,” Kyle replied, deflated.

“So come work for me instead,” Hank retorted.

Kyle scoffed. “Yeah right.”

“I’m dead serious. Just before I left, one of my store managers put in his notice. He’s leaving in a month. I’ve got to find a new manager as soon as I get home. It’s a bit of a change, but I know you can do it.”

“Thanks, but I’ve got it handled.”

Hank nodded slowly. “Alright.”

Kyle glanced down at the dash, then back at the road. “Can you put on some music or something?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Hank jacked his phone into the stereo and fired up Megadeth’s album Youthanasia.

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Team V6 Vandals - Day 1, 10a-12p - “Tire’d.”

“Look, up ahead, isn’t that one of the other teams?” Jake said from the back seat.

“Looks like they’re fighting traction. Lots of wheel-spin, sliding around a bit. I’d advise keeping a bit of distance in case they spin out or lose it.” Amy said.

“Punch it, Luke!” Cody yelled.

Luke responded by dropping from 6th to 3rd and kicking the gas pedal into the firewall. The 2.7 liter V6 responded with a hellish war cry, sending the little Ishu Truckling scampering down the road like a frightened puppy. He kept wide as they passed the oversteering wiggle-machine of team X/2000, not wanting to get caught up in an accident as they passed, before settling back into their proper lane. He shifted back into 6th and the engine gave a sneeze from the blow-off valves before they disappeared down the road.

“It’s a shame we’re out of CB range.” Amy said after a handful of minutes. “Gonna be a little boring if we can’t chatter with the other teams.”

“Well, we are catching up to some of the teams.” Luke said.

“Yeah, and if they were any indication,” Cody started, jabbing a thumb at the rear window, “we’re catching the ones who have problems. And they’ll steam-roll us once we get out of the snow. We’re front wheel drive, should be safe to go faster, right?”

“I can maintain control, but we’re already running within tolerance of the speed limit.” Luke responded.

“Says the one who regularly pushes tolerances.” Amy said.

“Oh, have we missed something about Luke?” Jake asked, giving a wicked grin.

“Yeah, he’s known to do a little recreational speeding from time to time.” Amy responded. “There was the 93 in a 70 on I-80, 78 in a 65 a few years before that. The ticket from the Nevada State Trooper that got one of our Mambas impounded. Remind me what the speed was on that one, Luke.”

“106.3 miles per hour. In a 70 zone. But it did get overturned because his radar gun was out of calibration, luckily enough.” Luke replied.

“Speed demon.” Cody said, laughing. “So, why not punch it here?”

“Because we’re in Canada, and I’d rather not start a rap sheet like your brother for international crimes. Suffice it to say that a few extra kilometers per hour won’t make a difference.” Luke responded.

“I see. Anything we can do to convince you to drive a little faster?” Jake asked.

“Either of you know any Canadian cops or politicians who can clear a path for us? Because I’d like to not be arrested for speeding. It’s hard enough for me to get travel clearances without adding speeding tickets on top of that.” Luke said.

Morale: -1 (NC) - Beautiful scenery, but not moving fast enough for some people’s taste.
Fatigue: +4 (+2) - No one on the CB, no speeding… No excitement.
Waypoints: 1 (NC)
Fuel Status: 2/3 remaining. 0 Refueling Stops.
Notes: Luke’s CB signal strength still uncalibrated. The CB radio in the car, however, works just fine, there’s just no one to talk to all the way back here.

4 Likes
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Team Mountain Pass

Team Bio
OLH Day Zero

Day One, 10AM to 2PM, Somewhere close to Longeuil, Canada

The start of the race was uneventful. Andrew was driving as quickly as the conditions allowed which resulted in the little blue Bogliq finding itself bereft of fellow competitors. We weren’t first and we weren’t last; we were on our own.

The first couple of hours went by in a blur of mind-numbingly cold, white scenery; it was beautiful and poetic initially but quickly descended into monotony. We travelled 68 miles and I slept for both of them. Andrew had the heater on and we were rugged up against the cold so, for me, sleep was inevitable.

We pulled into the carpark at the Museum of Civillisation where we took the required photograph, ate our supplied lunch (Marked ‘Day 1, Lunch’ by Kyle) then we continued driving towards Longeuil…

A: “Canada’s a pretty nice place; lots of snow, faux french people and hardly any traffic”

P: “Just you wait until we reach the cities; I bet there’s tonnes of traffic!”

A: “Don’t worry so much, things are going smoothly and I have a good feeling about this car”

P: “I sure hope so. I’d hate to be stranded and die of hypothermia…”

I looked out the window, drinking in the familiar, yet foreign landscape. The cars were the same, yet every so often I’d spot a uniquely Canadian car. The people were the same yet in this English colony they spoke French but dressed like Americans. Snow…

We arrived in Longeuil, safe and sound, then we aimed the Bogliq for one of the bridges crossing the St Lawrence river to visit Montreal and our next waypoint.

TO BE CONTINUED

Distance covered: 105 miles
Overall distance: 175 miles
Fuel State: Half a tank of petrol
Overall fuel used: Half a tank
Morale: +1 (Snow is pretty)
Fatigue: +2 (We have a long way to go and a short time to get there…)

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Team Harcourt-Entwhistle

Mopey: Gran, do we have to visit every place of interest this time?

Gran: Well, look here George, we can look at each place as we approach it……then we can make a democratic decision.

Mopey: Dictatorial and democratic both start with D……

Gran: You’re lucky that you’re in the back young man!

Spanners: Think of it as more of a driving holiday than a race, mate. We aren’t going to stand ANY chance if it was a race. No disrespect but you drive go-karts like a demon but you drive cars like an old lady……in fact your gran drives faster than you!!

Gran: DAVID!!! We drive within our limits!

Spanners: I understand Mrs E but Georgie-boy thinks we should drive on the ragged edge to try and keep up with the front runners. The would probably result in several things……attention from the police, damage to the car and a higher chance of an accident. The car is good, for its age, but it’s 28 years old!

Mopey: I didn’t say ragged edge……but we could save some time and pick up the pace at the same time.

Gran: Our pace is fine. Just look around at the beautiful scenery.

Mopey: Gran, I’ve seen snow before!

Gran: But this is Canadian snow. It’s nicer than the snow we have at home.

Spanners: You mean it’s friendlier and less likely to get into trouble Mrs E?

Mopey laughs hysterically

Gran: Pardon? Are you mocking me David?

Spanners: Just a bit of banter Mrs E.

Mopey: (still laughing) friendlier….less like to get into trouble…….

Team Morale: 1

Fatigue: 2

Notes: Mopey is happier than previously but still wants to go faster and visit less places. Gran is a bit miffed at Spanners for making fun of her. Spanners is enjoying himself more than he thought he would.

6 Likes
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Team Shitbox Brothers

(You know the drill with the accents).

Ana looked at the rear view mirror, still not wanting to floor it in such slippery conditions. The Jager was still there, keeping up. Suddenly, the engine misfired, followed by a snapping sound.

Ana: “Alejandro tell me THAT’S NOT THE TIMING BELT.”

Alejandro: “Stop aside, gotta take a look real quick.”

Ana stopped, letting the Jager through. She waved her hand at the red car, as if to say goodbye, sarcastically, while her brother lifted the bonnet.

Alejandro: “Kinda good news.”

Ana: “Kinda?”

Alejandro: “Yes, the wiring for the third injector went funky. Let me fix this real quick. No timing belts snapped.”

Ana sighed relieved. Even if the repairs would take a while, not being instantaneously disqualified from the race was good news. She cracked an energy drink open and took a long sip. Some time later, the two brothers were back on the road.

Alejandro: “Hopefully this won’t break again, although whenever we reach the first ‘multitudinary’ stop I’d like to take a good look at the engine.”

Ana: “Let’s hope this engine don’t wanna commit suicide.”

Alejandro opened the Youtube app on his phone, searching through his playlists. Gramps GT kept going southbound to Need For Speed by Tokyo Rose.

Morale: -1 (Fuck you too, engine).
Fatigue: +3 (Engine repaired, can we get going again already?)

6 Likes
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Team Marx

Lenin: Well the start was rather uneventful.

Marx: indeed so, we’re just cruising along nicely.

Lenin: yeah, the other teams just seem to be going along nicely as well.

Marx: and we’re doing decently in pace, just getting a little tired.

Lenin: sleep is for the weak, i’m good.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

morale: +0

Fatigue: +3

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4 Likes
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Team Kent Croissants - Thursday 10 - 12PM

Previous Post

-13°C

“We’re not exactly in the lead Aaron” said Damien from the rear seats stating the obvious.

“I’m not gonna push it especially on the snow you saw what happened to a few other teams earlier” replied Aaron “Plus I don’t want to cane it before I know all the niggles”

“As long as we speed up later I’m fine” added Jordan fumbling through his notes on the route.

Aaron changed down a gear and gave it a small bootful the V6 gave a muffled and sophisticated roar and a small spin of the wheels as they scrabbled for grip.

“Not bad then, pulled well” said Aaron slowing back down to the original pace.

–

“Oh bloody hell” said Jordan holding up his bright yellow jumper from the footwell that was now very damp and tinted slightly blue.

“What? Oh that’s gonna stain” replied Aaron turning his head left to look a the jumper. “God it smells like coolant must be from the heater.”

“Put it in a bag so it doesn’t stain anything else” said Damien from the back who was sprawled across the black leather seats.

“Typical it would be this jumper aswell one of the only coloured ones I have” Jordan added mournfully.

“Hopefully it will dull it down a little stop it burning my retinas out no wonder you have to have contact lenses” jested Damien.

“Don’t mock it Damien if the headlights blew we could have used it as our own portable sun and mounted it to the bonnet” said Aaron smirking.

“Yeah yeah, we could have used some of your socks if not” replied Jordan quickly.

“They’re fashionable pieces of clothing” said Aaron briefly lifting up the ankle of his jeans to reveal some of the craziest patterned and incredibly purple socks you could lay your eyes on.

“Whatever you say I think I’ll need a new prescription” laughed Jordan covering his eyes to avoid the searing purple.

Morale: +1 (1 Total)
Fatigue: +2 (2 Total)

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Team X/2000

After a million short shifts later, they realized that they were going much faster than without the short shifts.

Karmenn: son, we have past the 100 mile mark, says here on the odometer right after i reset the trip at the start.
Iman: Well, that’s actually great. But i don’t see any other drivers out there (seeing that we got passed by that truck).
Karmenn: That’s because we were still spinning when they made steady progress.
Iman: Right. . . . . . .
Karmenn: A’ight, open up some them chips and give me some. I am so hungry from doing those short shifts
Iman: Ok dad.

Status:

Karmenn's feelings : Hungry (not so)
What Karmenn is doing: Snacking with Iman

Iman’s feelings : Bored
What Karmenn is doing: Snacking with Karmenn

Morale: + 0 (just some snacking and driving)
Fatigue : +2 (4) (self-explanatory)
Fuel: 2/3 (surprisingly, after all those spins from early on they managed to save fuel)

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TEAM OUTRIDERS

Thursday 10:00

Blake: Alright, 100 people were asked: How protective is the coolant in this engine? Survey says… (Holds up a balls floating gauge) 40 below.

Luigi: F or C?

Blake: F of course. We may be in another country but I refuse to go metric!

Marc: Yeah, the commies and nazis used the metric system!

Luigi: It’s an intelligent system. Easier to use because it’s based on 10s.

Marc: Well of course a stupid **** like you couldn’t comprehend anything more complicated.

Blake: Caps back on, start the car will ya?

(Marc turns the ignition key. The starter works a little harder to turn the big block over in the cold but the 432 fires right up.)

Marc: Whoo! It’s alive!

Zach: Good, I’d hate for the car to die before we start.

Blake: Okay, let’s run over everything we’ve got, CB? Check. Camping gear? Check. Food? Check. Tool box? Check.

Marc: Stupid homo commienazi? Check!

Luigi: Cop with Downs Syndrome? Check!

Blake: Sunglasses?

Zach: (Puts on shades) Check!

Blake: Let’s rock!

(The Enforcer takes off on cue, Marc throws it into a few lazy donuts to begin)

Luigi: Careful you idiot!

Marc: I forgot, you would prefer I drive like an old bitch!

Luigi: I prefer you drive like something other than a retarded pit bull high on angel dust!

Zach: Dad, what are you doing?

Blake: Holding down the button on the CB mic.

Marc: Oh you ruthless son of a bitch!

Luigi: Our banter is private!

Blake: Bullshit! You guys are the best of friends when no one is looking!

Luigi: I go out of my way to avoid this cazzo!

Marc: Well, you’re here in the car so you clearly suck at it!

Luigi: Yeah, to keep your ass in line so you don’t get these two killed!

Marc: Sure, that’s the only thing you want to do with my ass!

Luigi: Please, If I was gay, I most certainly could do better than you!

Marc: That’s right, didn’t they call you Pin Cushion in High School from all the dicks that went through you?

Zach: This is gonna be a fun drive.

12:00

Blake: Let’s see if we can find a traffic report on the radio.

Radio: …derailed east of Ottawa, thankfully there were no injures. And in International News, Petoskey Motors ZLC owner and CEO Eleanor Ventnor was arrested this morning on charges of embezzlement…

Zach: Turn that up, turn it up!

Radio: …spite the charges, Ms. Ventnor claims no knowledge of any offshore accounts. She is currently being held without bond. And now Sports…

Zach: I can’t believe it.

Blake: Based on what I’ve heard of her, I wouldn’t think she would do something like that.

Zach: Why would she? It’s her company, so she gains the most from profits. Plus she already has substantial wealth. Something doesn’t add up.

Marc: People often do illegal things for the most bizarre reasons sometimes.

Zach: The radio mentioned offshore accounts.

Luigi: So?

Zach: So, before I came here, I was noticing a small error in the books. A tiny amount siphoned off each transaction for the last twenty years. Pennies, here and there.

Marc: Sounds like something that would add up to a considerable amount.

Zach: Exactly, and the one thing I couldn’t trace was where that money went. Hang on, I gotta make a phone call. (dials number) Hey, Frank? Glad I caught you on lunch. Listen, can you do me a favor? You know those administrative surcharges I was asking you about the other day? Yeah, those. What do you mean restricted? On who’s authority? Why would Dunbar restrict something like that? Most interesting, you think you could track that money? I don’t know, probably to an offshore account. Try the Cayman Islands. It would have to be at least twenty years old. Shit, okay. Once you get a spare moment and can find it, give me a call okay? Right, bye.

Blake: What was that all about?

Zach: Clearly those hidden transactions were part of this embezzling scheme. If Frank in IT can track it down, we could submit the accounts as evidence.

Blake: To convict her or get her off the hook?

Zach: Either. If she’s guilty, this will help convict her, if she’s not, then the accounts cannot be touched while they’re evidence. So whoever’s behind it can’t use the money.

Blake: That’s some quick thinking!

Zach: The woman gave me a job, I owe her that much.

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Team mushroom cloud
Day -5

Bill: Mail! Aunt Toni , why have you got mail here?
Toni: Who is it from?
Bill: It says… oh, it’s the race organisers.
Toni opens the letter and reads the instructions.
Toni: What are the odds? Know we know where we start from. It’s some wildlife reserve. In 5 days. That’s plenty of time.
Checks were made, things were bought, stuff was packed.

Day 0
Mushroom cloud manged to find a place a short drive from the starting location. Which is a good thing, because apparently it’s legitimately freezing outside, not something they get a lot of back in Oz.
7AM, Bill knocks on Toni’s room door.
Bill: Up and at 'em.
Wookiee taps Bill on the shoulder
Wookiee: Way ahead of you. Car’s loaded and warming up. Figured we’d let you catch a few minutes more.
Bill: Don’t sneak up on me like that!
_ A voice from the car, parked down below_
Toni: Chop chop. The sooner we get the, the more we can learn about who’s going to beat us.
Bill: Don’t we know who entered? I’s there a website, or a list or something?
Wookiee: Maybe, maybe not. I prefer the element of surprise…

Immediately prior to race start.
Toni: Okay, boys. You’ve had a good look at what’s here. What do you think our chances are?
Wookiee: I’ll open with 100:1 against. Proper 4 wheel drives, half-arsed utes, taxis and turbos.
Bill: I says 18:1. There are 18 of them and 1 of us.
Wookiee: That’s not how probability works! How the hell do you run your business?

10:00-12:00
The starter gives the cue and the competitors all set off on their journey.
As they approach (and, subsequently, pass) the Truckling on the side of the road, Bill says: “Shit! It must be cold out there. Poor bastard’s turned blue!”
Wookiee reaches from the back seat and gives him a quick smack in the head.

12:00-2:00
Toni is busily concentrating on the icy conditions as the boys start making jokes about the Canadish, eh? Like this…
Wookiee: What do Canadians get on their tests?
Bill: Dunno. What do Canadians get on their tests?Wookiee: Eh’s!

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Team Thunder Taxi, Part 2

Somewhere in Quebec

Jack was driving along at a moderate pace when Chris informed him about where the next waypoint would be.

“So, just a hundred miles in and no serious issues on the way to Montreal.”

Bob replied, “That’s true for us, and most other teams, but clearly not all of them. I’m hearing rumors that one of our rivals lost some time due to mechanical problems, although they could still make it up quickly.”

Vince concluded with: “Don’t get too nervous yet. We should arrive in Montreal very soon. For now, just concentrate on your driving.”

And so the Thunder Taxi continued its relentless march to Montreal and beyond.

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Sorry for the lack of update last night, I was traveling most of the day. I’ll have another installment done tonight.

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Legend of Terms:

POI NOTE: I will NOT be pre-warning of upcoming POI points. I will ONLY auto-stop teams for two things: fuel and, when completely exhausted, rest. Anything else you want (including tourist POI, restaurants, premature fuel, rest at any point before complete exhaustion), YOU need to PM me in advance (before I run the time block that you’d complete it in). Also, please don’t map out everything from here to the end in one PM… try to keep it within a couple time blocks.

BD: Block Distance. This is the amount of mileage covered during the current 2 hour period.
OD: Overall Distance. This is the total distance that the team has covered since the event started.
AT: Ambient Temperature
FS: Fuel Status. Approximate fuel reading. May also include other fuel related concerns.
MRL: Morale modifier
FTG: Fatigue Level
Last Town: Last town of note that was passed (will not include tiny villages)
Next Waypoint: Should be self explanatory.
Notes: Any notes I have for your team during this time block. Including POI results, car issues, etc.

Thursday, 2PM - 4PM

VicVictory:
BD: 83 mi OD: 253 mi AT: 14 F FS: Full MRL: +0 FTG: +4 Last Town: Lancaster, ON Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet. Team has refueled in Lancaster, ON.

@Madrias
BD: 101 mi OD: 232 mi AT: 13 F FS: 1/3 MRL: +2 FTG: +4 Last Town: Baie D’Urfe, QC Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet.

@Mr.Computah
BD: 104 mi OD: 255 mi AT: 14 F FS: 1/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +4 Last Town: Lancaster, ON Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet

@Jaimz
BD: 76 mi OD: 243 mi AT: 13 F FS: 1/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +1 Last Town: Saint-Zotique, QC Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet (30 minute stop)

@Awildgermanappears
BD: 104 mi OD: 274 mi AT: 15 F FS: LOW MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Last Town: Cornwall, ON Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet

@BobLoblaw
BD: 103 mi OD: 270 mi AT: 15 F FS: LOW MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Last Town: Cornwall, ON Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet

@Zabhawkin
BD: 102 mi OD: 270 mi AT: 15 F FS: 1/3 MRL: +1 FTG: +5 Last Town: Trois Rivieres, QC Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet. Heater is weak. Cabin is about 55 degrees, even at full blast. Team is starting to feel slightly fatigued.

@HighOctaneLove
BD: 103 mi OD: 278 mi AT: 15 F FS: LOW MRL: +1 FTG: +4 Last Town: Cornwall, ON Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet

@Fayeding_Spray
BD: 95 mi OD: 238 mi AT: 13 F FS: LOW MRL: +1 FTG: +5 Last Town: Baie D’Urfe, QC Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: This vehicle is poorly suited to the conditions. Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet. Team is starting to feel slightly fatigued.

@DoctorNarfy
BD: 104 mi OD: 275 mi AT: 15 F FS: 1/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +5 Last Town: Cornwall, ON Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet. Team is starting to feel slightly fatigued.

@FindRED19
BD: 99 mi OD: 255 mi AT: 14 F FS: 1/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Last Town: Lancaster, ON Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet

@Puffster
BD: 97 mi OD: 234 mi AT: 13 F FS: 1/3 MRL: +1 FTG: +5 Last Town: Baie D’Urfe, QC Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Extreme turbo lag is both a boon and a hindrance under the current circumstances. Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet. Team is starting to feel slightly fatigued.

@stm316
BD: 98 mi OD: 237 mi AT: 13 F FS: 1/3 MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Last Town: Drummondville, QC Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Car is poorly suited to the conditions. Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet.

@yurimacs
BD: 92 mi OD: 218 mi AT: 13 F FS: 1/3 MRL: +1 FTG: +4 Last Town: Montreal, QC Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Car is poorly suited to the conditions. Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet

@Mythrin
BD: 104 mi OD: 248 mi AT: 14 F FS: 1/3 MRL: +1 FTG: +4 Last Town: Lancaster, ON Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet

@abg7
BD: 103 mi OD: 267 mi AT: 15 F FS: 1/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +3 Last Town: Cornwall, ON Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet

@Nicholander
BD: 104 mi OD: 274 mi AT: 15 F FS: 1/4 MRL: +1 FTG: +4 Last Town: Cornwall, ON Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet

@LordLetto
BD: 45 mi OD: 189 mi AT: 13 F FS: 1/2 MRL: +1 FTG: -1 Last Town: Montreal, QC Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet. Team has taken an extra POI stop at Montréal–Pierre Elliott Trudeau International Airport.

@cpufreak101
BD: 83 mi OD: 254 mi AT: 14 F FS: Full MRL: +1 FTG: +5 Last Town: Lancaster, ON Next Waypoint: Fort Henry National Historic Site (Kingston, ON)
Notes: Waypoint completed: Mount Royal Chalet. Team has refueled in Lancaster, ON. Team is starting to feel slightly fatigued.

Vehicles that are traveling in packs:
274 miles - Jager, Takemi
270 miles - Petoskey, DMA
255 miles - Ishu, El Govnor

Note: vehicles within ~5 miles of each other are within CB range.

Team Moss Boss

After pumping the Townsend’s tank full, Hank took over in the driver’s seat for a planned change. He took a few moments to adjust the seat and mirrors to his liking, then set up his phone on the dash mounted clamp for its turn as the GPS device.

Kyle returned from somewhere out of sight, where he had been calling his boss back.

“Everything OK?” Hank asked.

“Yeah. It’s squared away. I just need to send out a couple emails tonight after we stop for the night.”

Hank nodded and turned the key, and the engine came to life with no drama.

“Ah, crap,” Kyle muttered.

“What’s wrong?”’

“Weather report. Possible snow between Kingston and Sudbury.”

Hank cracked a smile. “Doesn’t bother me. Front wheel drive. Those rear drive teams might be in for a fun time though.”

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Team V6 Vandals - 12-2p - “Catching Up”

“Hey, I think we’re in CB range of a few people, Luke.” Amy said. “At least, we’re right next to that beastly old-school station wagon.”

“Got it.” Luke said. Jake leaned forward and turned their radio on as well, though kept the volume low at first, only to jump back in his seat at the horrifying burst of fuzzy noise and loud electrical hum.

“Oh. Right. 4 watts at the antenna. Not 40.” Luke said, dialing back the power and trying again. “Apologies for that. Had my radio cranked up well above the limits. Don’t suppose I can get a relay on a weather check?” Luke said, this time coming in loud-and-clear, not just loud.

“Damn near blew our ears off with it.” someone replied, though Luke wasn’t entirely sure who, as he hadn’t been socializing with the other teams as much.

“Well, look at that. We’re in CB range. Milestone complete.” Cody said, grinning.

Morale: +1 (+2) - We’re catching up! CB Range Achieved.
Fatigue: +8 (+4) - This is not a comfortable truck, made less comfortable by the weather conditions.
Waypoints: 2.
Fuel Status: 1/3 Remaining. 0 Refueling Stops.
Notes: CB calibrated.
CB Range: 227 - 237 overall. If you’re in there, we can hear you, and we can certainly be heard.

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Team Mountain Pass

Team Bio
Day One, 10AM to 2PM

Day One, 2PM to 4PM, Somewhere near Cornwall, Ontario

Montreal passed without incident, Royal Mount Chalet was a nice historical site but we just got our pics and bolted. Still no signs of fellow racers but we don’t mind being alone; competitors tend to get in the way…

The open road towards Cornwall was also uneventful, lovely scenery and a lack of traffic being the mainstay of our trip so far, but upon reaching Cornwall our first logistics exercise was thrust upon us!

A: “Well, all good things must come to an end, so Pierre, I need you to fire up Google and find us a fuel stop”

Startled out of a daydream, I opened my phone and did a quick search.

P: “Follow this road and a few k’s ahead is a MacEwen’s located in Long Sault.”

A: “OK, sounds like a plan… Because we’re running on fumes!”

P: “Fumes… Andrew ya moron!!! What do you think you were doing???”

A: “I wanted to see how long the tank will last! Besides, it’s not like we don’t have any spare fuel”

P: “Just lay off the gas or else you’ll be pushing this shit heap all by yourself!”

A: “OK, ok, it won’t happen again… Sorry”

Suddenly aware of every mechanical noise, the scenery went from pleasant to menacing as we’d inadvertently overstretched our fuel window. Every lurch, bump and hesitation sparked new fears that we’d run dry and have to waste precious time filling the tank from our reserve. I wasn’t really mad at Andrew, we had to know how long the fuel would last, but we should have planned it out better. Fingers crossed!

TO BE CONTINUED

Distance covered: 103 miles
Overall distance: 275 miles
Fuel state: Low!!!
Overall fuel used: One tank (almost)
Morale: +1 (+2) Canada is a really nice place!
Fatigue: +5 (+6) Six hours non-stop in a budget coupe… You do the math!

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TEAM OUTRIDERS

14:00

Blake: I’m just saying, you’re not doing your vacation any favors if you’re going to be stressing over this.

Zach: I know, but this whole thing seems sketchy to me. I mean, I find potential evidence of embezzling, and next thing I know, my boss is thrown in jail.

Marc: There’s always the possibility that she is guilty.

Zach: True, but I doubt it. I mean, I mentioned bringing it to her attention and my supervisor shot that down quickly. Almost like he was too eager to keep any knowledge of it from spreading.

Luigi: He may have been simply trying to keep her from finding out there was any suspicion, otherwise she could destroy any evidence.

Zach: Maybe, well, if Frank can find it, then we can make the accounts public.

15:00

Marc: It’s chilly out there.

Blake: Hey, that’s that truck. That Team Redneck.

Luigi: Looks like their freezing.

Marc: Think we should give them a hand?

Blake: That’s a T-25, I’ve worked on a few of those.

Luigi: If we can meet up at the next fuel stop, I can take a look at their heating, at least try to keep them from freezing to death.

Marc: Fine by me, we’re starting to run low on gas anyway. (Grabs CB) Team Redneck, this is Team Outriders, you got your ears on? I say again Team Redneck, this is Team Outriders, you got your ears on?

(If Team Rednecks have a CB they are free to respond. My guys are willing to take a quick look at the heater and offer a possible fix)

6 Likes