Corzetti-Stampatti Motori: The Accursed Geese
Somewhere between Fienna and Orta…
Bolognese: Well, pace isn’t great, but we’re managing just fine. This engine tune helps with saving fuel, so we can avoid constant shifting to keep the car chugging along.
W.N.: Yeah, and at least it hasn’t given us much grief. Perhaps we can bank on that to… (wing flapping noises) What was that?
A goose lands on the back of the car, then quickly flies over to the hood of the Familyman CS. Needless to say, Bolognese slams the brakes due to sudden surprise, while the goose just flaps about on the hood.
Bolognese: What the hell!?
W.N.: Woah! Is that a goose? What’s it doing here? Is it a stray…?
Bolognese: Don’t know, don’t care. Imma get this stupid bird off the car to get go…
Suddendly, this theme song plays! #sorrynotsorry Ok, there is no theme song. But there is a Double Repukken ton of geese, flying around the car and its two distraught drivers.
Bolognese: Ow! Hey, get away, you dammed dumb chickens! If I had my gun at hand… I’d make a roast for the entire family! W.N., do something here!
W.N.: I can’t, there’s too many geese! It’s like they’re hunting us down or something…
??? (whistling): Calm down, calm down my dear geese! Let the drivers be…
The geese settle down, mostly on top of the car. A farmer comes along, breathing heavily and carrying three empty boxes on his hands.
Donaldo: My most sincere apologies, sirs. My geese, they’re… they’re awfully fond of moving around in the open, see? I am Maccaro Donaldo, geese farmer. And…
His train of kind thought is suddendly interrupted when he sees Bolognese. The look on his face doesn’t change, but skin color gets more white with time…
W.N.: Sir, don’t tire yourself out. We have water, we can…
Bolognese: Kid, do you mind if I talk to Mr. Donaldo for a sec?
W.N.: But he’s…
Bolognese: I said get.
W.N. slowly turns around and gets back to the car, all whilst turning back to see Bolognese.
B (placing his hand over Donaldo’s shoulder): Well, “Mr. Donaldo”. Fancy meeting you here after you forgot to pay your due. You wouldn’t be trying to jump ship to a nearby town just to avoid me, now would you…?
D: I… I…
B: Wow, the kid was right, you are getting tired. You must’ve been trying to do this with every numbnuts racing here thus far. Now we could give you a ride… But I’m having so much doubts right now. Perhaps you can offer some bills to clear my mind of doubt?
D: …ok, it’s true. I was trying to avoid you. Curse my luck, running into your team’s car of all places!
B: But your luck could change, don’t curse it now! What if I said you can make it to Orta for a small fee? All you have to do is purchase one bottle of a precious red fluid I’m carrying in the car. A bottle part of a collection belonging to the Milano household…
D: But that’s illegal! The Milano’s wine is one of the finest in the country, but…
B: Shh, shhh. Speak more loudly and I’ll have to perform on-road dental surgery. How much money do you have with you?
D: 1500 lira, but…
B: Then it’s settled. 1500 lira for a bottle and you’re on your merry way to Orta. We can arrange this… “business transaction” later.
D: But these are my life’s savings…!
B: Well, I tried to be a samaritan. W.N.! We’re heading out!
D: Ok, ok, I’m going with you! (takes money out and hands it to Bolognese) Please don’t leave me here, me and my birds can’t take more of this heat… Please…
B: Now isn’t that nice? You helped someone out, that person will help you. I have no idea why you didn’t pay before… Let’s get going.
Bolognese and a dejected Donaldo get inside the car after bringing all the geese together inside the boxes, with W.N. already sitting in the passenger’s seat.
W.N.: Feels good helping someone out, but… we lost a lot of time, Mr. Bolognese.
B (starting up the car): It’s fine, kid. So as long as we finish we have a chance. Besides, this will… pay off when I get to Heaven.
To Be Continued!