###And now presenting…
##The ErinSport Formula Van Proto1!
Over to Lead Engineer Harvey Godnosewat for some premium quality motorsport guff!
“One of the key things we learnt in the design process was that we don’t have a clue how to set up the suspension on a van. That’s before we even get to the problem with chassis stiffne…”
…That’s quite enough Harvey! Let’s focus on the positives of our creation!
Here’s an official interview with automotive magazine Splendid Auto Monthly!
How fast does it go?
Surprisingly fast. Top speed is 177 mph and it does 0-60 in just 2.7 seconds. Even we’re amazed!
Crikey! That’s chuffing supersonic! What’s powering this thing?
Well, we had a leftover engine from our Group C days, namely a 7.0l V12, which we’ve modified a bit and modernised so’s that it produces 813 bhp and can at least be considered somewhat efficient!
Bloody hell-fire! A V12, in a van? How do you tame this beast?
With the same transmission system as our AECII entrants, that’s how! Who cares if they’re multi-million pound, extensively developed and tested, full-on race vehicles, our 6 speed DCS gearbox changes gears in the blink of an eye, and is completely unnecessary on such a vehicle!
You didn’t actually answer my last question…
Oh. Ooops. Apologies. The short answer is…no. The transmission system makes half the cost of our budget and it still wants to spin it wheels and oversteer all over the place!
Jesus, you didn’t mention this thing likes to oversteer!
Oh yes it does! We’ve tried to mangle some active suspension bits but even they can’t fight against the horrific centre of gravity. It’s a like a Baboon on steroids!
A baloon on what did you say?
A Baboon on steroids! We may have tried to make it look like this is some serious racing machine by adding “Formula” to the name, but truth be told, we don’t have a clue what this thing is like to drive because nobody’s brave enough to test it.
Well then why are you entering, my dear boy?
Erm. I don’t know actually. We’re not doing marketing for Erin by racing with a new car, we aren’t trying to achieve some sort of motorsporting record with a super-advanced design, we aren’t even specially developing any of the parts…hmmm
Then what the hell are you doing at all?
Uh…uh…messing around with some left over parts and sneakily taking some money from the ErinSport budget?
Cut the interview, quick. Just tell the journalists they’ll have to read through the handouts rather than coming to the press release.
