Shitbox Rally 2023 - Stage 14 (FINISHED!)

Kaylie checked her phone quickly, then said, “Looks like we’re also good on the “No Smoking” rule. I was worried for a moment that I was going to have to go into specifics, but no, looks like everyone’s agreed, no smoking in the camp.”

Kivenaal shrugged and admitted, “I can put up with no cigars for a while. And I’ll make Rukari eat his pipe if he lights that thing up in camp.” He then glanced over the various weapons the recruits had, then mentioned, “If it’s safe to do so in the area and you’d like us to do so, I have no problem setting up a shooting range. It’s something that, well, it doesn’t take a lot of time to do properly, but benefits everyone in general as long as it’s used respectfully.”

Malavera then said, “And by “respectfully,” he really means don’t be the assholes doing mag-dumps and trying to hit people with your shell casings, or the assholes deciding that they’re going to blow off a few rounds in the middle of the night. Seriously, you might think she’s harmless, but if you wake Kaylie up and we’re not in danger, I’d suggest wearing a cup to protect the family jewels.”

“If i cannot light one up in camp, what is in camp?” Jacques inquired, being the only smoker amongst the overseas guests present at Twin Hearts Racing.
“The power lines supplied to the various teams have a length of 100 meters. So i’d say that whatever is within a 100 meter circle around Robert counts as being in camp.” Valentin suggested, prompting some confusion within the recruits.
“Who’s Robert?” Mary inquired.
“…The generator car used to supply power to the camp. All the cables originate from there,” Valentin replied quickly, somewhat dumbfounded at how this piece of information was not known to everyone by this point.
“OOOOHHhhhhh!” Mary said in a moment of realization, having been wondering what the nameplate was meant for.

“Target practice seems appropriate, location permitting. We need to secure anything that is ahead of the marksman currently on the lane or lanes. That includes anything directly either side of them and behind the targets to be shot at,” Constantin commanded, with visible excitement coming from the recruits at the prospect of actual firing of weaponry.

Kivenaal smiled. “I always walk the range before I put any targets out to make sure I know what is in the path and make sure it’s safe to shoot into that area. When possible, I prefer dirt backstops, but if that’s not practical for the area, we’ll bring along plenty of wood to act as bullet stops. That’s on top of already using plywood target boards with paper targets, and hanging sand-bags behind said target boards to catch most conventional rounds. I take range safety very seriously,” he said, looking to Constantin. “If I don’t think it’s safe to build a temporary range there, I won’t do it.”

“Obviously, we’ll all have to provide our own ammunition,” Takaraya added. “We have a relatively limited amount of supply space.” As Jayde went to protest, Kaylie elbowed him in the ribs and shook her head once, before Takaraya continued, “Likewise, we’ll stay out of your ammunition.”

“If you use the range,” Kivenaal then added, “you need to clean up your spent casings, and I’d appreciate the help taking it down before we get ready to move camp the next day.”

Kaylie checked her notes, then said, “Looks like that’s all the concerns on our list to bring up. Anything you guys need to discuss with us?”

“There is one thing…” Valentin started, pausing for a little for dramatic effect, even if unintentionally so, “We have four cars. They need to get to the first camp from here, from the last camp back here as well as to and from the rails. The problem is that i cannot drive four vehicles at once, not to mention the fact that i don’t fit into three of them. Ideally, a radioman is assigned to each car when on roads to avoid ‘texting while driving’ problems,” Valentin explained.

“Four cars, you said?” Constantin asked, thinking of an idea on how to solve staffing.

“Yes. To be specific, Robert is the one i will be driving, with Norse acting as Radioman. The three remaining cars are named Rainer, Ramona and Regina. On rails, i can control all cars from the very front with no need for intervention by anyone within the other vehicles,” Valentin specified more accurately, completing Constantin’s plans.

“Alright, sailors! Atteeentioooon!!!”, Constantin blared across the roof, thus semi neatly lining up the five recruits, though it did take some time to do as it was totally unexpected.

“In Order, state the highest vehicle license you currently hold.” Constantin ordered to the recruits, himself getting up to face Johan, being the shortest member and thus first to start.

“Class C1E!”, Rohan called out, followed in order by Mary calling “C1E” as well, Jacques with “BE”, Hans holding a class “C” license and William finishing the callout shouting “A”.

Valentin joined Constantin in standing in front of the recruits, sneakily reading off of their name patches on their respective uniforms.
“Looks like Patel, Jacknabbit and Dupont are valid drivers license wise. Not sure about you, but i doubt you will be comfortable in any of the driver’s seats,” Valentin commented, followed by Constantin dismissing the solders to their seats again, mildly annoyed at how authoritarian the process has been.

“Well then… Patel and Reynolds to Rainer, Jacknabbit and Muller to Ramona, Dupont and myself to Regina,” Constantin added, also returning to his spot next to the recruits.

“Got that sorted, then. Just need to label the cars accordingly sometime.” Valentin mumbled.

Kaylie nodded, then mentioned, “You’d said to us, Val, that you might need a bit of time at the track to get people familiarized with the vehicles, so I had Rukari make an appointment a while back.”

Rukari smiled. “Did not know when you would arrive today, so, I schedule day at track for tomorrow. Track is yours for whole day. Well… Almost all yours. Other vehicle on track will be driven by Kasiya. He-”

“I wanted a bit of practice with my truck and the trailer I’m towing,” Kasiya mentioned. “Rukari scheduled it alongside your practice,” he added, glaring lightly at Rukari, clearly showing his light disapproval of that strategy.

“Will get you out of shell you hide in, might make friends,” Rukari replied.

“I won’t need all day to do that training. At worst, maybe two or three hours. It mostly is a normal car with some quirks attached to it. Though we could use the remainder of that day to gather more power tools, now that we have more manpower… and womanpower and 64 wheel changes per day to do.” Valentin countered.

“We will check available supplies today evening and have any additions shipped by the time the event starts.” Constantin mentioned, now that the question of power tools came up.

“We’ll just get the remainder from harbor freight or Walmart or wherever.” Valentin noted, as he did not have immediate access to anything the soldiers would be bringing.

Kasiya gave a polite nod to Valentin as he countered that he’d need at worst three hours to train the crew, and then intended to pick up some more power tools. “I can understand that. I’ll probably take an hour, maybe two, to get a good feel for how the trailer and truck behave together.”

“I’ll bring the other unit and trailer along, just in case Kasiya wants to practice hauling doubles,” Takaraya mentioned, smirking as Kasiya grimaced just at the thought of that.

Kaylie smiled, then asked, “Have we hit all the topics we need to in this meeting? I don’t mean to sound like I’m in a rush, but we do have tools to clean and equipment to wash.”

“Kasiya and I will take care of the HD-GV units. We’ll be more than busy enough with those and their trailers,” Takaraya said.

Kaylie nodded, then said, “Kiva, you get to clean the flatbeds. And make sure you get those burger wrappers off the back seat.”

“Eat lunch in the truck once and forget the garbage and it gets brought up for months,” Kivenaal grumbled.

“I will wash rescue truck,” Rukari said, knowing how Kaylie’s “game” was played.

“Good. Jayde, mind cleaning the two small wreckers?”

“I can. I’ll be the first to say I hate cleaning the towing apparatus, but I’ll clean the trucks,” Jayde replied.

Kayden smirked, then said, “Before I get voluntold, I’ll take cleaning out the office fridge. After all, last time Mal did it, he threw up in there.”

“I did not! I hit the trash can. And that was Rukari’s fault for leaving a fish dish in there until it went bad,” Malavera replied.

“Well, hopefully you won’t have that issue while washing the forklift. Seriously, you left it in the front of the lot again instead of parking it up, so clean it and then put it away,” Kaylie said. “I’ll clean up the tools, toolboxes, and lifts.”

“If anything else needs deliberation, we can gather again.” Constantin said, with Valentin and Norse nodding in approval.

“Meet you tomorrow at the track, then.” Valentin added as they all got up from their seats and headed downstairs.
With a mighty thud, the HMMWV doors closed with every member taking their seat, soon afterwards filling the lot with the rumble of engines and humming of tires as the group headed into town.

Not long after the military vehicles left, the Shift Happens crew got to work with cleaning up their vehicles and equipment, punctuated by moments of intense swearing as Rukari scrubbed down the completely filthy rescue rig, upset that his plan to get an easy job had been foiled by someone doing an off-road rescue earlier that day.

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Team Sinesian Rejects


Team information
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Next part (Part 0.67 - Wonderful pieces of sh-)


Part 0.34 - Behold!


March 14, 2023

“Grand reveal… behold!” Jas exclaims, lifting a dirty bedsheet off of a ute in a dramatic fashion. As the dust settles, the true colours of the vehicle show…pink.

TJ starts with a slow clap. “It’s beautiful,” - he states.
Alauran cuts him off. “…Why does it have a dick on the side?” - he blurts out. Following this, Jas loses it.

Alauran slowly shifts his attention downward, looking at what is clearly not pink paint.
“And…what about this?” - he says in the most deadpan voice possible. Jas seems amused by the question.

“Well, Al, paint’s expensive. Especially pink metallic, for some reason. I’m not spending another fifty bucks on a bucket of paint. Besides, it looks great without the bottom half covered in unicorn vomit.”

Alauran seems to realise he’s not getting a logical explanation for the crimes against paintwork and relents, letting out a sigh. Silence follows, before Jas breaks that up again.

“Oh, and Ianis has heard of the competition, and he’s interested, though he can’t get a clunker on the road and running by the time that it starts. So he’d like to join you two.”

Ianis was a bit of an third-,no, fourth wheel when it came to the group of friends, really only having stuck around for the car things with TJ and Alauran, making it a bit of a surprise he still wanted to join them in this event.

“Really? Neither of us has spoken with him for months.” - TJ says.
Briefly pausing, he continues: “…and besides, we don’t have any space in the ute for him anyway, since it’s a two-seater, and not a bench.”

Jas looks a bit saddened by the fact, but he’s not surprised, since he has eyes and has seen the interior of the thing.

TJ, seeking to cheer Jas up a little bit, says: “Well, I suppose, since we can enter two cars-”
Alauran cuts him off again. “You want to build another shitbox up?”
TJ scoffs, continuing on: “Well, if you didn’t cut me off I would have said that on my own. But yes. There’s plenty of junk in the junkyard that has a chance of running and driving. If we’re lucky we might even find a whole car. Personally I think it’ll be good if we all reconnect, so I think it’s worth the effort. Besides, we’ve got a few weeks and the rest of the budget to blow.”

“And,” - TJ says, “since we’re unlikely to find a one-seater, why don’t you tag along with us, Jas?”

Jas seems to think about the proposition for a while, probably considering the fact that he wouldn’t be able to play video games during that time, not seeing the fun in sitting in a cramped shitbox interior with questionable stains dating back to the stone age.
“…sure.” He mutters, after an uncomfortable moment of silence.

TJ then turns to Alauran, who has been standing, looking at his phone for the last few minutes. He nearly drops it as TJ asks: “And you? Think it’s okay?”

Alauran shoots his head up to meet the eyes of TJ.
“Uh… Yes, that’s okay.”

“Well, let’s go then.” TJ then gestures for the two to get in to the work truck.


It’s around noon when they arrive at the junkyard, the familiar face of the owner greeting the three.
“Okay, we should have discussed this while we were driving, but what exactly are you looking for?” Jas asks to TJ, who responds, “Well, something light and nimble will give us an advantage. The length of the rally is probably tempting a lot of slow, heavy and unwieldy executive cars. If we just sacrifice our health for driveability, we’ll probably be a bit faster than everyone else.”

Alauran nods, and Jas lowers his head before TJ starts walking.

“Most of these are garbage.” Alauran says. TJ goes on to respond: “We’re in a junkyard, what did you expect?” - they continue walking.

TJ then abruptly stops, looking intrigued at some wreckage.
“TJ, isn’t this just another wreck? The entire front end is bashed in. Surely we won’t be able to straighten that out.” Alauran says.

TJ, looking slightly offended, replies: “It’s not just some wreck, it was an Ilaris Imbe.”
Alauran doesn’t look convinced. “…and what’s so special about that?”
“It’s special because it’s made from the car equivalent of tissue paper. It’s weak, unsafe, but most importantly, it’s light. It’s called…aluminium.”
Alauran remains silent.
“Okay, maybe the tissue paper analogy wasn’t great, but you get the point. Imbes are light and nimble. We want this kind of car.”
TJ, after waiting for a response, of which he gets none, goes to look behind the wrecked Imbe to see for any more treasures. He then spots a red-coloured Imbe, this time with side collision damage, though the roof seemed to have remained undamaged, which could not be said for the white Imbe up front.
“We are in the money! If this starts I’m taking it home and none of you can convince me to do otherwise.”

The keys are conveniently already in the ignition, which he turns swiftly. After a brief moment of cranking over, the engine fires up, and gives a few sputters.

“Okay TJ, great that it started, but how the hell will we get this thing to…like…drive?”
“We’ve got two car carcasses, one damaged in the place that the other is not. We’ve got welding tools and a saw, it shouldn’t be that hard.”

Alauran, and Jas too for that matter, stand in a cloud of disbelief. Alauran eventually exclaims: “You want to cut and weld two cars together?! Made out of aluminium? What are you smoking, because I seriously need to get on that shit.”

TJ then simply replies: “Yes.”

“You crazy idiot, I’m in.”
TJ gets out a quick laugh, Alauran finally getting out of the shitty mood he was in for at least a brief moment. Jas on the other hand doesn’t really know what to think of it.


Returning to the shop, they immediately get to work Frankensteining the two car-cadavers back in to one living car. While Jas suggests painting it hot pink, TJ and Alauran declined. “It’s perfect how it is now.”, TJ says.

Neither of the two car’s fenders were entirely straight, so they cut them in two to weld them on at a different angle. By the day, the car became more and more messed up, but looked more like a car than a wreck. A mess of a car, but not a mess of a wreck. Eventually, the roof of the white Imbe came off and the roof of the red one went on.

Jas, understandably, was concerned about the safety of the vehicle, to which TJ responded by riveting on a few supports on to the weld joints, along with installing a rollcage, though he didn’t install any of the other equipment needed to not get yourself killed with a rollcage. Jas wouldn’t know anyway, and the benefit of installing it would be minimal anyway, since the structure would probably collapse somewhere else.

By the 27th, it was done. Oh, how beautiful it was. Fiberglass hood. Custom two-tone paint. Racing stripes. It was great.

“Alright, let’s call Ianis over. I’m sure he’ll be delighted to see our work…”


Bit of a hasty one here, apologies for any poor writing. I ran out of time in the day. It's 1 AM :skull:
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Prologue

The Calm Before The Storm


February 28th 2022, 2:40PM

Kiovograd, Velkaristan.


A traitor had been found within the highest ranks of the military. The whole debacle began when Velkaristan’s neighbor country, Atlantea, was outraged that Velkarstani naval forces conducted an attack against their operations in the Amaeris Sea. After initial investigations, the Velkaristan High Council discovered that someone had ordered the Velkaristan Royal Navy’s Seventh Strike Group to launch an assault on the group, leaving an aircraft carrier heavily damaged, crippling two of its destroyer escorts, killing 10 sailors and injuring another 25. A total disaster, on an international and political scale, bringing tensions to an all time high. In the weeks following, the High Council, Velkaristan’s primary governing body, launched an investigation into the incident, which predictably stalled at least until someone found the traitor had made a critical error signing his real name on an official document.

As the sun bore down on the dry, wintery roads, A Velkaristani Government owned Leclerc 54X, rolled to a stop in the driveway of the Military Headquarters, directly adjacent to the staircase leading to the main doors. The passenger side rear door opened and from it, stepped Supreme General Landon Sabourne. He stood straight up to his full height, dressed in his military service uniform, which kept him warm despite the frigid temperatures outside.

Landon sighed sharply, his breath visible as a cloud in the icy air. He didn’t notice the car pull away, his mind elsewhere. The High Council had waited long enough, and so had the others. The others of course were the ones who shared the supreme rank with him. The Supreme Generals, Admirals and Air Marshals, they were known as. These were Alexey Kobylov, one of the only arctic foxes in history to bear the rank of Supreme Air Marshal, Supreme Admiral Frenando Ramos, a common red fox who was the oldest of the group, Eduard Dupont, a common gray and the other of the two Air Marshals, then there were the two tibetan foxes, General Xavier Denslington and General Marcel Braddock, then General Adam Stearn a red like Ramos and Sabourne but with a lighter shade of orange fur, and finally the other of the two Admirals, Keenan Torrez, an antisocial fennec. In total, there could only be 2 Air Marshals, 2 Admirals and 4 Generals at one time, making the total number of supreme ranking officers.

The Federal Building was the primary government and military headquarters, five stories tall, situated atop Ten Acre hill, in the heavily guarded Overseer Park across the Kiovo River from downtown of Velkaristan’s capital, Kiovograd. The location gave an unobstructed view of the city’s skyline from the building’s fifth floor. From the windows, it was an incredible view. Skyscrapers stood against a background of a cloudless blue sky and snow capped mountains, with the sun glinting off their glass windows. The triangular pylons of the cable-stayed Kasimov Bridge were in the distance spanning the mouth of the Kiovo.

The unrelenting overcast weather was finally gone almost as though it foreshadowed the conclusion of a political fiasco.

The traitor, on the other hand, had turned out to be the one Sabourne had suspected of betraying everyone, from the very start. But, this had been discovered a week earlier, and none of his fellow military officials knew of it because he had sent out an order to withhold the verdict, just to be fully sure that the traitor was indeed who Sabourne thought he was.

The two soldiers standing guard, flanking the main doors saluted the general upon seeing him before letting him through.

The huge doors closed behind him, gently returning to the closed position thanks to the hydraulic door closer, before the latch bolt clicked back into its position as well. On the other side lay the modern art deco lobby which always somehow impressed him, a large flag was painted on the far wall above the elevators, a red rectangle with three yellow stars in the upper left hand corner. But, he couldn’t pay much attention. The council and his colleagues were waiting for him.

Within minutes, the elevator arrived on the fifth floor and immediately, as its doors opened, Landon was greeted with the top floor lobby area, where down the hall and to the left, was the meeting chamber.

How could anyone in their right mind betray their oath and abuse their power to destroy international relations, with a neutral country no less?

Sabourne paused for a moment to take a deep breath before removing his peaked general’s hat, putting it under his arm and entering.

Almost immediately, Air Marshal Kobylov began expressing his disdain, in his signature heavy russian accent. “You better have a good reason for dragging us here, Sabourne. We’ve waited long enough.”

“Don’t fret about it Alex, There’s no need to. The wait is well worth it.” Sabourne replied, indifferent.

Kobylov sighed, but before he could speak again, Denslington, one of the two tibetans, interrupted him.

“I hope you haven’t wasted our time with this escapade. We gave you one extra week, and I expect that you have something admissible.”

From the shadows came a voice, from them emerging Keenan Torrez, the fennec. “Of course he does! The traitor is very likely going to be revealed. Isn’t he, Sabourne?”

Sabourne feigned a smile, but in his eyes, Torrez could see the discontent. “Yes, and you’ll be pleased to know who he is.”

Torrez, despite his height of a good six feet and two inches, still had to look up slightly to maintain eye contact. He scoffed and turned away, his left eye twitching subtly.

“That is enough.” A voice called from somewhere above. This voice belonged to one of the seven people on the High Council. In the viewing area above where the 8 military officers had gathered, there were seven shadowy figures, foxes of course, but no one could tell their true identity.

“General Sabourne, You have the results of your investigation, yes?” One voice asked.

“I do.”

The seventh voice then said one word. “Speak.”

“Understood. Now, as you may recall, the international incident in the Amaeris Sea was believed to have been orchestrated and masterminded by someone amongst myself and the other generals. Someone could say there is an imposter among us.”

A red fox, similar to Sabourne in age and physical appearance, then entered with a hand truck with three boxes on it. “This is quad star General, Jason D’Leon. He will be joining us, I hope?”

There was silence, and then a female voice was heard. “Very well.” it said.

“Now, over the past two months, I headed the investigation into the incident, and if I’m being honest it completely baffled me. For weeks, the only information I had was that Torrez and Ramos were the only two that had access to naval communications and that someone had forged Ramos’s signature on an official document. However, when I discovered that Torrez did not have an alibi for that period of two weeks, it all made sense.”

Torrez raised an eyebrow. “So? That doesn’t mean I was not at home.”

“Of course, no one saw you, which makes sense given you requested two weeks of leave.”

The fennec sighed and began pacing, making sure to hide his relief.

Sabourne glanced at him, before resuming. “Anyhow, It’s interesting how the traitor managed to pull off their plan and get away with a forged signature, only to completely give themselves away by using their real signature on the document to clear the attack order, not to mention the fact they tried, and failed, to frame a fellow military official. But wait, there’s more. I had several of his accomplices arrested, all of whom confessed and testified immediately.”

Dupont, the shortest of the group, joined the conversation. “Still, That doesn’t tell us who the traitor is.”

A sinister grin spread across Sabourne’s face. “That’s what I’m getting to. The fact still remains however, whoever tried to set one of us up, failed in covering up their tracks.”

Braddock and Denslington looked at each other and then Sabourne, somewhat surprised, but not looking any less judging. Of the two of them, Braddock was the one to speak up, motioning to the handtruck with his left hand. “So, there’s a traitor who’s fucked himself, pardon my language, by trying to set one of us up?”

Sabourne gave no reaction. “Don’t forget that he also used his real signature to sign the clearance document, and that several people who were part of his scheme ratted him out. Now, inside those boxes,” he pointed to the hand truck, “Is all the evidence I need to prosecute the treacherous parasite, not just for this act of treason. Oh yes, it goes back two years.”

Torrez seemed to be far more nervous than he usually was. But, Sabourne did not acknowledge it, instead walking to the hand truck and tapping the box sitting on top of the other two.

“In this one box, there’s enough evidence to prove that Admiral Ramos–”

“That’s preposterous!" Ramos broke in, his sharp Spanish accent cutting the air like scissors cutting paper. "There’s no way I would even think to betray my oath and my nation. How can you accuse me!”

Well, Ramos had been set up to take the fall, even if he had been a prime suspect at first.

“You didn’t let me finish, Ramos. It’s enough evidence to prove that you were who was to be framed.”

Ramos’ hazel eyes widened, in surprise and shock.

“The traitor is Torrez.”

The fennec froze and whirled around, his ears tensing and tail bristling with anger. “What! Are you crazy!? Ramos is clearly a traitor, I’m being framed here!” He exclaimed, pointing first to Ramos and then to himself.

“And that’s what you wanted us to think.” Kobylov said flatly, still standing at ease, on his side of the table.

Then, Stearn began, beginning to pace up and down the room. “Torrez, everyone knows evidence and testimony do not lie. From what I can see here, it looks like you left behind a mile long list of it in your desperation to shift suspicion onto somebody else. Plus, you yourself were betrayed by your own co-conspirators.”

Meanwhile, D’Leon, Braddock and Sabourne were sifting through the contents of the boxes. Sabourne listing off the documents he’d retrieved from the boxes, tossing them on the table in the room, each of them signed with a poorly done forgery of Ramos’ signature, one of them done unmistakably in Torrez’ handwriting. One document however, bore his actual signature.

Naval Combat Protocol A-77R.

“A transcript of a radio message you sent to the strike group," Sabourne tossed the folder on the table in the center of the room. “Combat Directive 0-421, signed with this pathetic forgery. A sail order for the Arcadius, again, the same pathetic forgery. There’s more signed with this false nonsense, but the one that screwed you over, was Naval Red Alert Protocol A-77R. Do you know what that means? It means engage on sight, leave no survivors.”

There were 8 items removed from the box, now on the table.

Torrez huffed furiously, his fur and tail bristling, his hands balled into fists.

The General sighed again, and then began to explain. “Maybe if you didn’t screw up trying to set up Ramos to take the fall instead of you, and signing the A-77R form with your name You’d have gotten away with it."

“Fuck you–.” It was all Torrez managed to say before Sabourne cut him off.

“Ooh, one more thing, I also discovered that it was you who was behind the attack on our motorcade a few weeks ago. Remember? You tried to have the Captain of the Arcadius assassinated. The goons you sent after us? Well, I can tell you, most of 'em were gunned down, though not before they wounded the captain. He survived, made a full recovery and testified against you the moment he was fit for questioning.”

Sabourne began pacing back and forth, both disappointed and disgusted with Torrez. "Only advice I can give you is, the next time you want to assassinate someone or frame your fellow generals, maybe don’t make stupid mistakes or, send thugs that would rat out their employer the first chance they got to save their sorry ass, to do your dirty work for you. Oh, but that’s right, there won’t be a next time, will there?

Torrez’s anger reached the boiling point, and he lunged towards the taller fox. “Alright you fucking twit, come at me then!” But before he could lay a hand on Sabourne, Kobylov and Braddock grabbed either of his arms and restrained him. “I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you, you bastard! You won’t live to see another day, Sabourne, you hear me! I will end you!” He shouted, fighting the hold Highbridge and Braddock had on him, both of whom, despite being quite strong, struggled to restrain the slimmer, but heavier Torrez.

Sabourne stared him down, getting within inches of Torrez’s snout, the menacing purple eyes boring into the traitorous brown ones. “I ended you. You’re the one facing the firing squad, not me.” He hissed, being extra ominous.

Right at that moment, the Velkaristan National Police, and Federal Enforcement Agency operatives, entered the chamber, taking Torrez into custody.

Colonel Laurent, a military police officer in charge of the arresting group, walked over to him, and in a monotonous and professional tone and recited the one sentence no enlisted officer or soldier in the Velkaristan Armed Forces or even an ordinary citizen would ever want to hear.

“Keenan Torrez, You are under arrest for treason of the highest order, you are ineligible for trial and you will be executed at dawn tomorrow. You face the firing squad, unless requested otherwise.”

Torrez continued to try and resist, his attempts futile, and was handed over to the police before being taken away out of the room by two officers, accompanied by Laurent.

“No! Let me go! I’m being framed!” He shouted in defiance, as he was taken farther down the hallway.

Before Laurent left, he turned back to Sabourne. “You didn’t tamper with any of the evidence, yes?”

He nodded. “No, I’ve got a car waiting to have it taken to police headquarters. I will make sure it gets there.”

As Laurent left, Sabourne turned back to face his fellow generals, and Denslington was looking at him, between glances as he fiddled with his medals on his uniform. “You don’t have a car waiting, do you?”

A chuckle escaped him. “Yes, though it’s not an official one technically, I left one here yesterday. I’ll be using it instead.”

Denslington shrugged. “Very well.”

Meanwhile, Kobylov had walked up alongside. “Don’t mind him, he’s just relieved that you didn’t accuse him.”

A sigh came from Sabourne. “I wasn’t planning to.”

Shrugging, Kobylov went to leave the room. “It doesn’t matter, you did a great job exposing Torrez’s treachery, just make sure you don’t forget the evidence.”

Landon smiled. “That won’t be a problem. I’ll see you soon.”

With the business here now finished, the only thing left to do was pack up the car and head out.

In the parking garage waited a 2008 Mayland Ambassador GTS. It was a brilliant car, but it didn’t belong to him, instead it was his brother’s car, lended to him because his daily driver, a battered Westminster SUV, had jumped the timing and bent several valves, and left the car unusable, and very likely unsaveable.

D’Leon stopped short of the car while Sabourne popped the trunk.

“So, that means I’m on the council’s list to replace Torrez?” D’Leon asked.

“Probably, but the High Council has several other candidates on their list.”

“Won’t they at least consider me?”

Sabourne loaded the first box into the car. “I’m sure they will.”

The lower ranking officer smiled. “Thanks. Will you put in that good word for me then?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll do it when I get the chance. Until then you should just wait.”

The younger fox straightened his coat, stood at attention and saluted. “Understood, thank you sir.”

By this time, Saboune finished loading the boxes into the car, D’Leon took no time noticing before he grabbed the hand truck and walked back to the elevator.

The General watched his subordinate leave and sighed. He had potential, D’Leon, he was one of the most skilled soldiers in the entire armed forces. A natural born leader, empathetic, loyal, brave, courageous. He was probably the best candidate out of anyone on the council’s list to replace Torrez, but disputing the council’s decisions wouldn’t go very far anyway.

Sabourne shut the trunk lid with a gentle slam, walked over to the driver side door, swung it open, and climbed inside. The door shut with a resounding slam, the garage’s walls amplifying it. After some shuffling about in the seat, Landon shoved the key into the ignition, and turned it. The starter motor’s staccato cranking came first, and then like thunder, the V8 followed, its smooth burbling harmony filling the cabin, and the garage around.

Eventually, after navigating the maze of streets, the Mayland scampered its way up the entrance ramp to the highway, its V8 engine bellowing in defiance, joining the traffic effortlessly. Traffic was light, rush hour had ended an hour ago, but it still consisted of the usual regular commuters and commercial and military trucks.

Within 20 minutes, Sabourne arrived at the police headquarters, immediately spotting Colonel Laurent accompanied by his assistant. They didn’t say anything, simply taking the boxes away.


The next morning, Landon was wide awake, for he knew that today, Keenan Torrez would not breathe his last breath. The firing squad had been told to stand down because, late last night, Torrez had revealed that he was merely a pawn in a larger game, and in exchange for his life and witness protection for him and his family, he would tell the government what he knew.

It was on the orders of the council that this execution would be how they faked Torrez’ death.

Sabourned sighed. He had been awake since 5 o’clock in the morning, thanks to the hour and a half drive to the prison. A half hour drive to help a traitorous snake escape execution, it was a total waste of time mentally preparing to kill.

Dawn would be in 20 minutes, the sun was pretty much just about to come above the horizon. Torrez was walking what would have been his last mile by now. The mountains and the conifers that surrounded the prison grew more and more visible as the sun slowly rose. Right as the sun emerged above the horizon, a buzzer sounded and Torrez emerged from the building, in full uniform, his hands in handcuffs and accompanied by two soldiers, either of them clutching an HK G36.

They brought him to the compound, where the other seven of his former fellow military officials stood. He knew they hated him for betraying his country and weaseling his way out of being executed, but since he was a vital asset for the Velkaristan government and that they at least understood that he’d been coerced into treason because his family had been threatened, Torrez didn’t mind it.

Right then, one of the two soldiers that escorted him out of the prison, struck Torrez in the back of the knee with the stock of the rifle, forcing him to kneel. Of course, they likely had no respect for him, but those were their orders.

The fennec raised his head and locked eyes with the red fox towering over him.

“I said I would end you, Landon.”

Sabourne drew his Colt Anaconda revolver, pulled the hammer back with a quiet click and took aim, placing the barrel just short of Torrez’s forehead. Both of them knew the gun was loaded with blanks. If anyone was watching from nearby, hidden out of sight, they’d simply assume Torrez had been executed.

For maximum effect, Torrez would bite down on a pill containing a fast acting anesthetic just before Sabourne ‘executed’ him, which in turn would simulate death via gunshot wound to the head.

“I’ll see you on the other side, Sabourne.” He jeered, taking care to whisper, before biting down on the pill.

Sabourne did the same. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”

Right then, he pulled the trigger. The hammer flew forward, striking the firing pin.

A resounding bang rang out in the calm of the morning.

Just a bang. No bullet had exited the barrel.

Torrez jarred, the anesthetic kicking in. He fell forward, landing face first into the grass.

Then, as per military tradition, a moment of silence was given, even though Torrez was not dead. But it had to happen, no one knew if someone was watching from the dense forest that surrounded the prison on all sides.


ONE WEEK LATER


Landon jerked awake, his alarm clock blaring, its harsh crow calls tearing up the serenity of the morning. The small timepiece chirped a total of 8 times before a furry fist slammed down on the snooze button, silencing it and sending it falling from the nightstand. The clock’s display read 8:25 as it fell.

“Shit!” Landon hissed, as the clock clattered to the floor.

Another morning, another day.

He rolled onto his back, blinked, and then rubbed his eyes. Home, or technically, his brother’s house. Outside the window, the lake was a mirror, and in it, the slightly blurred reflection of the surrounding conifer forest and mountains, standing against the deep blue sky, basking in the early morning sunlight.

The mornings never got old, peaceful serenity, especially with the distant sounds of the city and the mountain resort-like scenery outside the bedroom window that overlooked the lake behind the house.

The house itself was pretty large, it was built similar to how regular mansions were but it used log and timber details, resulting in something that looked like an enlarged mountain cabin, which evoked a warm, rustic feel. Every house in Mountain Lake Estates was designed like this, an oversized log cabin style mansion. The entire neighborhood consisted of these houses, all built for Velkaristani Government officials or titans of industry.

Landon laid his head back on the pillow, and yawned. It was one thing to be a Supreme General, but it was another for a general to live in a house that didn’t belong to him. Although, he could only dream of having a house like this. A general’s pay was decent, but not enough to sustain this lifestyle.

Landon’s brother, Andrew was not the type to leave siblings hanging, that was for sure. Especially if it was his closest brother.

Unfortunately, the only downside was that he was set up in a bedroom directly next to one that belonged to Andrew’s older son, Aryton, which on occasion, during the night, had muffled but still audible sounds coming from it. These sounds made Landon shudder to think about what might be happening, even if he already knew what was happening.

Regardless, he needed to get up and get ready, it was the end of a week long leave period.


March 7th, 2022 (Caracalian date + time: March 11th, 2022. 5:20PM)

Rural countryside, Caracalia, Panthiri System.


The sunset turned the sky a deepening shade of orange, dusk was in 30 minutes. It didn’t matter, the huge villa was in sight, still relatively far, but it meant the endless oil fields would start to thin out, eventually being replaced by the natural greenery and forests, at least until the plantations that dominated most of the landscape would take all that away.

Karl Von Heislingberg expertly piloted his Mayland Mark V along the unpaved dirt road, but paid attention to the gigantic, growling V8 that sat under the hood, or the speed limit. He needed to get home at all costs, even if he risked being seriously injured. His light athletic clothing did very little to keep him cool, but the adrenalin didn’t let that get in his way.

He had been at the family marina where he kept his yacht, helping with the planning for the new harbor office, when the call came through. Marcel only said it was urgent, but how urgent was it? Did their father’s cancer return? Was he dying? Was he already dead? Was the house burning down? Was someone cooking meth again?

The Mark V came flying up the access road, coming to a halt in the roundabout driveway, its front tires giving a quick screech from the sudden stop. As Karl got out and approached the entrance, the family butler, Mr. Warner was opening the mansion’s doors for him.

“Master Karl, It appears your family needs your presence, it’s imperative.” He said, as they walked into the foyer.

“I already know, Marcel called me. But, thank you anyway.”

The butler smiled and left as Karl went towards the stairs leading to his father’s study. Eventually, Karl reached the third floor where his two older twin sisters, Cheyenne and Camile were walking past.

“Hey, Karl. What’s going on?” Camile asked.

Karl shook his head. “I don’t know, I’ll explain later.”

Now on the third floor, he began walking towards the study. He glanced into Junior’s bedroom, no one in sight. Marcel’s bedroom, still nobody. Rocco’s study, and Harlowe’s bedroom, not a soul.

Alarming.

His paced increased, slowing down upon reaching his father’s study

Upon entering, his father, Ayren was sitting at his desk, examining an open book with a magnifying glass, while Junior was out cold in an armchair and Rocco, laying down on a nearby couch, read a magazine. Marcel on the other hand was in the bathroom apparently.

As it turned out, the urgent matter didn’t concern his father’s health.

“Dad? You called me?”

The elderly Caracal looked up from his desk.

“Ah! Karl!” He exclaimed, startling Junior. “Just who I wanted to see.”

Just as Karl took a breath and before he could say a word, Junior interrupted him, displeased at being awoken so rudely. “Father, do you really have to shout?”

Both Karl and Ayren shot him a slightly dirty look, to which Junior responded with a roll of his eyes.

Then Karl resumed the conversation. “You do realize that you can’t have someone tell me I’m needed urgently, and then not tell me what’s so important. I was worried that your cancer came back.”

His father’s ears twitched. “Oh. Well, my apologies. Yes, I called you here because I’ve got to tell you something.”

Just then, Karl’s mother, an elderly female caracal, entered the room. “I found my father’s old archeology journals and I discovered something. Something big.” She explained.

“And what would that be mother?”

“The Sacred Chalice.”

Everyone within the room and the nearby bathroom snapped to attention, even Marcel, who peeked out from around the bathroom door, shirtless for some reason.

“It’s real?” Everyone asked, almost in unison.

“It’s not confirmed but it is likely,” Ayren began, “and we have a rough idea of where it might be.”

Karl ran his hands over his ears and began pacing up and down the room. “Seriously? That thing? Everyone and their mother is hunting for it and you want to go after it, even after all these years?”

His mother nodded. “Yes. I found has worryingly powerful supernatural properties that could be dangerous. If it falls into the wrong hands the consequences will be immense. So we must retrieve it before it falls into the wrong hands.”

Karl had sat down. “Is that why you called me up here?” he asked, begrudgingly.

His father grinned, before grabbing a map and spread it over the desk. “It appears to be located on Aetherii, in Nehmenweld.”

“Nehmenweld.” Karl echoed. “I know that place.”

“Good. Once you get there you must find and pick up the trail your grandfather left behind."

Karl’s ears stiffened and he raised an eyebrow. “But, where does that trail start? From what I’ve heard that trail began there years before the fall, Gramps used time travel to get there, and not to mention Aetherii has been long dead. I’m not sure its coordinates are even present in the freighter navigation databases anymore.”

His father nodded. “That’s exactly the problem, those freighters are the only long range ships we have and even if we had the coordinates, we wouldn’t be able to land our ships there, because of the purple death fog. The only way that we could safely retrieve the chalice is to go back hundreds, if not thousands of years before the fall.”

“Okay. What about Erran’s treachery and the diplomatic situation with the Khalans, then? I’m not sure it’s wise to travel while that’s happening.”

“That’s been sorted. No need to worry about it anymore.”

A nod . “Okay, I won’t be coming up on the radars of Khalan bounty hunters any time soon, right?” Karl quipped, grinning smugly.

His father smiled, and shook his head. “No.”

“Alright, I’m going to go to my room and see if I can’t figure out a way to time travel and traverse the universe at the same time.”

Upon saying this, the caracal stood up and left, and began the trek upstairs to the attic loft that was his bedroom. Upon reaching the top a powerful feeling rose in the back of his mind when a voice began to echo, a voice that no one else but Karl could hear.

“It took you long enough. Seriously, you left me locked in here all day.”

“What? Did you trash the room again?” Karl asked, out loud.

“Of course not. When will you realize that I’m meant to be fiercely loyal to you? I won’t be destroying your stuff if you tell me not to.”

A sigh escaped the caracal. “Hey, you’re the one who decided to follow me out of your mirror realm and be friends.”

“Oh don’t be ridiculous, Karl, I know exactly why you got stuck in the in-between. If it weren’t for me, you’d be having issues getting back home. Don’t be so ungrateful.”

Another sigh.

Well that’s an overstatement.

“I heard that.”

Karl facepalmed, his ears drooping. Then, he entered into the room where, on the other side, a silver furred six legged wolf was waiting for him. It was known as a silberwolf, a canine capable of jumping through any reflective surface to enter different dimensions. Fiercely loyal, and friendly, and often mischievous. The wolf also had a name, Ramius.

The wolf sat there, next to Karl’s bed, panting, with his tongue hanging out, panting. “You could at least have the decency to have opened a window in here.”

Karl spoke up again, still speaking out loud. “The window does it automatically, it’s timed. Plus, I’m surprised that you didn’t jump through the mirror on the back of the door and go into your dimension or whatever it is.”

The dog seemed to lose confidence. "I thought it would be boring.”

“Then why complain?”

Ramius retracted his tongue and closed his mouth. “I, uh–”

Shrugging, Karl stood up and moved towards his desk. “No matter, you did a great job.”

“Thank you, I guess?” The wolf said, his voice still echoing in Karl’s mind. “Anyway, while you were away, you got a message.”

“A message?”

“Yes, a message. Ever heard of it?”

Karl rolled his eyes. “Let’s see what it is then.”

There was an email, delivered at 4:43 Caracalian Universal Time, from someone named Glasswalker.

“It looks interesting.” Ramius chimed, perhaps too excitedly, making Karl grimace.

“Can you calm down? You’ll give me a damn headache.”

“Sorry.”

The email said something about a “shitbox rally”, using a vehicle tuned for 85 octane fuel costing under 2k (or equivalent currency). Nearly 5000 miles, through a dangerous territory called… Nehmenweld!? Karl’s eyes widened, it was the perfect opportunity. He would be alone, and in peace–.

Minimum of two team members.

There went that plan, but maybe… What was it like in Velkaristan this time of year?

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Introducing...

Two cars rolled to a stop. The ground behind them smoked, and police sirens screamed, only to cut off in a heartbeat. Stinking of ozone and sulfur, the very air seemed to recoil, then rush in. For a moment, only the rumble of motors disturbed the silence; then they too stopped, and the steady tick of cooling exhaust was the last sound.

From the first car, a harlequin mockery of an old Korean wagon, stepped the littler of the two. Her dark hair fell in a long curtain around her, and she donned a wide-brimmed, comically large and cartoonish witch hat. With the motion of her standing, a purple cloak ensconced her, and she cast around a single, glittering and sharp eye, bright with intelligence and half lidded in a distasteful squint.

Her partner vehicle, the pink, short, yet much longer of the two, clunked its door open. From within unfolded a large, green chitinous thing. A pinkish facsimile of human hair, though in texture perhaps more similar to unspun silk, dangled from its skull. Eight red eyes, mockingly arrayed as though human eyes and hairpieces, scanned around at all times.

Pushing on the door with its single clawed hand, it rose to a height well above seventy inches, and its foot pressed into the earth with an ominous weight. Yet when it parted its mandibles, a manner of speech that ought to be impossible for such a thing, lipless as it was, echoed out. It was humanlike, raspy, but effeminate and highly pitched, with an echoing undercurrent of vibration that brought to mind the buzzing of insect wings.

“Kate, are ya… sure ‘bout all o’ this?”

“Yes, yes,” the first girl replied, evidently named Kate. Her voice was a mirror of the other. Smooth, smoky, and perhaps an air of deep exhaustion. She removed a watch from her breast pocket and opened it; seemingly satisfied with whatever she saw, she nodded. “There stirs here a confluence of space-time. Perhaps from all corners, through the odd angles even. The watch is ticking faster; participating in this may even get it half sprung.”

“And if we win…”

“Yes. That is why I must forge ahead, separately from you; your lovely countenance does you no favors in spirited driving.”

The taller creature couldn’t express its face; but the claws of its hand scraped along a chitinous blade, which stood in lieu of the right arm. Its thin feet shifted left, then right, and it cast its head around in a strange, erratic manner.

“I- I don’t wanna go alone, not for all these weeks.”

“Dear Octavia,” Kate replied, grasping the chitin that would, on a human, comprise the forearm, “You’ll be near me again at camp. Take your time and enjoy this world- it is young, hale, and not so tortured as our home and so many others.”

The creature nodded, and they clasped claw and hand in a familiar, long-practiced gesture. Kate squinted, eye gaining a little twinkle and dimples appearing at the corners of her upturned lips. A light tease entered her voice.

“Let us gather with the other competitors. Who knows, dear, you may even find a friend.”

Octavia harrumphed, and they got into their vehicles, puttering off towards the beginning of their journey.

**THE KNOCKOUTS**

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I fucking love them no joke

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Team Sinesian Rejects


Team information
Previous part (Part 0.34 - Behold!)
Next part (Part 0.99 - Turn it off)


Part 0.67 - Wonderful pieces of sh-


March 27, 2023

As the orange glow of sunset starts to seep in to TJ’s workshop, the rumbling sound of a big-block V8 breaks up the tranquil silence. Pulling up to the garage door, Ianis climbs out of the imposing silhouette of a muscle car. He takes a bit of a moment to stand up before walking up to the door next to the garage.

Alauran , who is standing in the doorway, mutters: “Long time no see.” – eyes switching between looking at the muscle car and Ianis.

“Pleasure to see you three again. What have you all been up to?” – Ianis makes a small gesture towards the garage, eager to see the cars that were built for the rally. He waits expectantly for the door to open.

Behind the wall, TJ’s voice rings.

“You know, the usual.” – The garage door flings open. “Like that.” – he continues, pointing at the modified Ilaris Itan, furnished with ‘new’-ish parts and a fresh coat of hot pink metallic paint, courtesy of Jas, pink phallic-shaped blotch of paint standing out.

He goes on to make a dramatic presentation pose, showcasing the white-pink ute in all its glory. Seeing Ianis unimpressed, he pulls himself straight again.

Ianis looks disappointed. He shifts his cold gaze over to Jas, responsible for most of the exterior…styling.

“Honestly, I don’t know what I should have expected…but this is actually ridiculous. Pink? You’re joking.” – Clearly not being a fan of the new paintjob and graphics on the car.

TJ’s tone shifts a little bit. “Hey, that wasn’t my idea. Besides, it’s just as ugly as it was before. And why are you here to judge the looks? C’mon, let’s see how it drives.” – He shoves Ianis in to the car with a swift movement. Ianis tries to hold on to the sun visor, snapping it off in the process, and still landing face-first in to the driver’s seat. Jas, who is sitting at the computer watching the ordeal, tries his very best not to laugh.

“This is not funny.”

Ianis repositions himself, face either red hot with anger, embarrassment, or both at the same time. Buckling up, he starts the engine.

“Well, I can tell this definitely isn’t stock. Where’d you get that four-banger from?” – He says, trying his very best to hide his annoyance at the manoeuvre.

Alauran comes up with the answer, after some silence.

“You know those hatchbacks that nobody likes but nobody can complain about?”

“Those ACR Alakis hatches?” – Ianis swiftly answers.

“Yea, the X4-series engine from that. Boring as all hell, but it was the most reliable option that TJ could find in the wreckage.”

“Well, it better at least be an upgrade from the shit-spec V6-engine.”

Alauran thinks for quite some time before giving a little shove to TJ for him to continue talking.

“Well, we haven’t gotten it to the dyno, but the factory output should be 170-something horsepower, which should be a substantial upgrade from the 120 that the car shipped with. We have lost some torque though, but I suppose we won’t be using it for heavy hauling like it was designed to.” – He goes on to hit the bonnet, continuing, “And besides, the car will probably fall apart before the engine gives us hateful thoughts to out in to a tree.”

Ianis decides he’s ready to drive it, promptly throwing the slush box automatic in to drive, tires belching smoke as he spins them. Despite the dramatic start, the car is…not fast. He goes for a few corners around the lot, the car going sideways with screeching worse than a six-year-old being forced to go to bed playing Fortnite. Soon enough, he drives the ute back in to the garage.

Exiting the car, he closes the door, emits a sigh, then kicks the door in, leaving a dent.

“Wow, that car is a piece of shit. And it’s wonderful.”

TJ and Alauran are just staring, not knowing exactly what to say. Ianis continues-

“It tries to kill you at every turn. It’s comedic, almost, beyond the fear factor of being in a shitty car with no attention paid to safety that is about to slam in to a wall if you don’t do anything.”

TJ emits a subtle smile, pondering what to do now.

“We could just…put the sway bar from the back on to the front. That’d work, although they probably don’t fit perfectly. Nothing a hammer won’t fix, however.”

Alauran looks at TJ funny, before saying, “TJ, please continue being like this.”

Something then catches the eye of Ianis, who decides to lean over to take a peek.


“Okay, what the FUCK is that?” – He exclaims, eyes locked on the white-yet-red car hidden behind some toolboxes and welding equipment.

“It’s…err…well…it may have been two cars at some point. There is a small possibility of that.”

“Okay, but what is it, or what was it supposed to be? It honestly looks like someone took a cow and smeared blood over all the places where black spots were supposed to be. And why is there red scribbled in pink over the black hood?”

“First of all“ – Jas speaks up for the first time. “Don’t insult such beauty-”

Ianis cuts him off. “Strong words for someone who’s painted a dick on to a car and called it art.”

Jas stutters for a bit before relenting and shutting up. While they can’t exactly blame him for his reaction, TJ and Alauran are a bit dismayed by the insulting of their handiwork.

“…and you expect this shit to run for five-thousand miles? With a roof less strong than most soda cans? If I had to define a fucking liability on the road, this would be it.”

“Don’t judge it before you drive it.” – TJ says, defensively, as if the car is something he’s proud of. He gives it a smack on the black fiberglass hood, which promptly pops off of the clips that held it in, revealing the work that was done to the engine bay.

“Uh…as you can see, we cleaned up the engine bay, installed a skid plate, and greatest feature of all…we installed an aftermarket frunk.”

Ianis looks at the plastic container in front of the engine, intrigued. “…frunk?”

TJ turns to Ianis and narrows his eyes in to a death stare, muttering, “Frunk.”

“You’d be surprised at how much engineering went in to it.” – TJ goes and touches the heat shielding, which quickly reveals itself to be aluminium foil, as it tears pressing a little too hard. He pulls back his hand, pretending to have burnt himself.

He quickly goes and picks up the hood, and tries to clip it back in to place. After some minor struggling, which Ianis took note of, he manages to get it back on, then hopping in to the car, inviting Jas and Alauran to hop in the backseats while Ianis steps in to the passenger seat.

“Alright, let’s get this puppy started…” – TJ says, confident in his and Alauran’s creation.

Some…minor sputtering and complaints from the engine later, it fires up, and they rocket off with the engine billowing blue smoke out of the tailpipe.

“It came from the factory like that.”

“Yeah, and it came with all these stains from the factory too, I’m guessing. Also, why do you have a roll cage without harnesses and a HANS device?”

TJ whispers. “Shh…”

“What? I’m raising genuine concerns about everyone’s safety here.” – Ianis starts to raise his voice.

TJ snorts, holding in a laugh. “You expect the salvaged half-car Frankenstein to be safe?”

Ianis looks at TJ, a little frustrated, but goes on. “Well, at least, I’d fucking expect the ‘safety features’ you installed to not make the car more unsafe.”

“Your expectations are much too high for something that’s held together by weld jobs made at 4 AM.”

Ianis releases a deep sigh before slumping back in to his seat, seemingly defeated at the utter lack of giving a shit that the rest of the team is presenting. Well, there’d be no backing out without ridicule.

TJ throws the poor Imbe around corners at speeds which are definitely not legal, nor sensible considering the state of the car.

“It’s…got…sport tires!”

“They’re definitely bald, or not actually sport tires.” – Ianis replies, in a deadpan voice.

“It’s got shitty sport tires!”

“That doesn’t make it any better…”

Coming up to a corner with way too much confidence, TJ overcooks it and spins out, with them ending up on the wrong side, scraping the guardrail.

“Well done! Awesome! You managed to spin a front-wheel-drive shitbox.” – Ianis goes full ham mode on the sarcasm, throwing out a few more low-brow insults at TJ’s driving skill before he runs out of things to say and goes quiet again.


As the evening turned to night, TJ went to check the damage. It’s no wonder the Ilaris Imbe got a poor rating in crash tests – the bodywork was pretty warped from the run-in with the guardrail, which he promptly fixed by hitting it with a spanner until it looked ‘good enough’ again.

Jas then calls out for everyone.
“Guys, the entry needs us to take pictures of ourselves. Anyone up for that, or do I have to go and dig through my photos to find less-than-glamorous pictures?”

The light threat for (probably really old and manky) photos going on to the entrant list gets everyone to gather in the main car.

“Wait, we’re missing something.”

“What are we missing?” – TJ asks.

“The engine hoist needs to go on to the ute or it won’t be complete-”

Ianis interjects, “Then do it yourself, if you feel we need it.”

After much struggling to lift the hoist by himself, and with kind encouragement through laughing at him, Jas manages to lift it on to the ute, mostly. Not wanting to go and climb up on to the bonnet and moving it in to place, he decides it’s good enough half off of the improvised external roll cage doubling as roof rack.

CRASH

Ianis shoves himself to the side when the forward armature of the hoist comes crashing in to the windshield, leaving a great big hole in it.

Alauran, half in shock and anger goes to say: “Gah… was that really needed, Ianis?”

“You could have done that without crushing my lungs together, but okay.” – TJ tries to smile through it.

Meanwhile, Jas remains frozen, probably knowing that the next few days before they leave will be absolutely, and rightly, filled with ridicule.

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Finally a Bio on Jacia
Full Name: Jacia Valiara
Profession: Mechanic
Daily: Vietta SS-8
Personality: very much “be gay, do crime”
Backstory: ill keep it short for this. Basically a creature called the Warholmer attacked her home dimension. Her and the other survivors decided it would be best for them all to split up. Since then she may have won the lottery and fully restored a Vietta SS-8. Shes known Johnny since college, both taking a games design course. She is actually Johnnys maintainer
Favourite musician: GlitchxCity
Biggest Achievement: Driving from Russia to Spain nonestop
First Language: Russian
Favourite Drink: Caramel Latte
Random Info: she has tiny horns hidden under her hat

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Team Not-so Slow
Chapter 1, Part 1- Modding the car.

(goddamn i’m so rusty)

After some time of waiting for the parts to arrive after ordering them some time ago for the car, they eventually arrive in the mail, This consists of an better intake, some engine tuning parts and a bull-bar, why do they need that for? It just looks cool, Oh and the raised suspension, can’t forget that.

Matt and Izzy think about respraying the car. Izzy then disagrees, saying

“Blue works well on this car, leave the color alone, it looks fine.”
Matt then thinks about painting the car white like a canvas, looking a bit unimpressed at his own idea. After some back and forth, they eventually both agree on respraying the car. It might add a little bit of :sparkles: flair! :sparkles:

“Mhm, maybe if we spice the coloring up just a bit, just maybe, it’d look less plain, actually, what if we just keep it simple, a stripe or something you know, nothing overkill?” Matt says as Izzy starts sanding the car’s paint to get a decent looking paintjob, and then wiping it down after a while, and then priming it with some primer.

“Yeah, that could work. Actually, you know we should do this more often, it’s fun to travel around like this.” Izzy replies with a bit of enthusiasm to her tone. A few hours later or so, the whole painting process goes over, the car is in a nice shade of white. Matt then goes up to Izzy with a roll of duct tape to do the livery stripes with

Matt: I have some duct tape you wanna borrow, it does the job!

Izzy: Hm, surely it should work, right?

Matt: I mean, it saves a few bucks, but we could try.

Izzy: right.

Matt: Let’s go along with it and see how it holds up.

The two start working on various areas of the car, using black duct tape for the stripes, which could be probably be easier to vinyl wrap it, after 45 minutes of doing the stripes, Matt uses a stencil and spray paints the team number “42” onto the side doors of the car. And some other un-mentioned junkyard specials later. Looks like a downgrade from last year’s car, but it should be more reliable in the long run.

Matt: So, we’ve got everything we need?

Izzy then checks the garage, and then the car’s trunk for the things we may need later on during the challenge, essentials are in check, a car jack, a few bottles of coolant, some oil, brake fluid, brake cleaner and the tools, etc.

The new whip. Small changes, but it’s simple.


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Rules Update:

Following a discussion that happened on the Discord, the following rule has been put in place:

Characters should be 18+ in Earth Years. If you need an underage character, ask for an exception. You will need a reason for why this character needs to be here. Exceptions are not guaranteed.

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Originally written by @AMuteCrypt


Roleplay, Consent And You

There’s been a decent amount of discussions around this on the Discord, and I figure having this written up here is very valuable tool. Please note that this does not supercede any of the rules or requests of Madrias, Elizipeazie and the forum staff more broadly. Instead, this should be seen as a guide, a broad idea on how to get things running smoothly and to make sure everyone has fun.

Let’s take the tea and consent video. How do you go about making a cup of tea for someone? You ask if they want tea. Then, if they say they want tea, you make it for them and give them the cup, but you leave the actual drinking to them. Roleplay is a lot like that too. How do you roleplay making a cup of tea for someone’s character? You offer it in-character, they accept the offer, you describe making the tea, they describe their character drinking the tea. Who knows, maybe their character hates tea, or is allergic to caffeine, or… Makes sense, right? Similarly, how would you get someone to come take a look at something cool in your car? Would you grab their hand and force them over to the car? I hope not, you ask them to come over. RP is the same. Don’t describe the other person’s actions, don’t write it for them and force them to come over. Make an offer in the RP, let the other person accept. Don’t force them to. Make sure that the other person is involved in what their character is doing, make sure that they have agency.

This strategy of in-character offers works fine 95% of the time. Cups of tea, showing something cool, games of catch etc. The other 5% of the time is when you have things where there is a reasonable chance that the human on the other side of the screen (or a reader going through the thread) might be made uncomfortable by the content. Remember, there’s a human on the other side of this, a human who is just looking to have fun. Flirting and hitting on someone’s character, in-character abuse touching on sensitive topics, stuff like that can easily ruin the fun. In those cases, in-character consent is not enough - and it can be hard to get while making things feel natural. In these cases, make sure to escalate it to the actual human controlling the characters. Give an explanation of your ideas, talk it out, and be willing to accept no as an answer.

So, let’s say you’ve made a post with some touchy topics. Let’s say I want to make a post where a character is abusing alcohol. Good news everyone, the forum has a nice, simple way to give people warnings about sensitive content and choose to skip it - the [details] collapse. Put sensitive content in one of those, so that potential readers can choose what they want to read. If I don’t want to see that sort of thing with my cereal and coffee in the morning, I shouldn’t have to. A simple [details=“CW: Discussion of Alcohol Abuse”] makes everything much, much more fun for everyone involved.

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bold of you to assume im human

Really tho, this was a good thing to mention

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alongside this, my characters ages arent a problem, a 23 year old and two 45 year olds

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Please refrain from double posting. It clogs up a thread, notifies everyone that a new post has been made every time someone visits the forums, and it just doesn’t look good.

Edit the original reply, or better yet, use discord to communicate stuff that’s not strictly urgent.

Thank you.

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I didnt realise I could do two quotes in one post
soz

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Prologue

Harcourt-Entwhistle House - Surrey

Mopey – Gran, gran, we’re off again!!
Gran – Oh, another road trip, how exciting. George, dear, don’t be rude and say hello to Prudence.
Mopey – Hi Auntie Pru.
Prudence – Hello George. Another road trip, I wish I was young enough to join you.
Gran – Nonsense Prudence, you’re never too old. David will just have to clear some space for you.
Prudence – So where are we going to?
Mopey – Nehmenweld in Aetherii.
Prudence – Sounds German to me.
Gran – We can have a look in the Atlas. Where is David?
Mopey – He’s at the garage with the cars.
Gran – Cars? Plural?
Mopey – Yes, come and see……


Mopey – SPANNERS, WE’RE HEEEERREEEEE!!!
Spanner wheels out from under his van.
Spanners – Hey Mrs E. Nanna, what are you doing here?
Gran – Your grandmother is joining us this time, dear. George said that we had multiple vehicles. Is that true?
Spanners – Yes. We’ve got a 1970 HiWay Rally but it was restored and modernised in 2010. And we’re taking my van. So, I thought you and, now, Nanna could take that as support. I was going to ask someone else but it looks like you’ve chosen your co-pilot already.
Prudence – George said we’re going to Germany but it’s not somewhere I’ve heard of before.
Spanners – Germany? We’re going to Nehmenweld on Aetherii and……
Gran – Surely you mean “IN” Aetherii, which sounds middle eastern or African to me.
Spanners – Erm…No……Aetherii is a different planet and Nehmenweld is one of the continents.
Prudence – Oh dear, David, have you been smoking “those” cigarettes again?
Spanners – No Nanna….it’s true……
Gran – But….but….but….how do we get there? Do I need vaccinations? What’s the cuisine like? Are there hostile indigenous people….are there PEOPLE AT ALL? Are there vicious animals? Is there OXYGEN……Oh, dear, I feel faint….

Spanners runs and catches Gran as she starts to fall.


Several hours later at Harcourt-Entwhistle House…….

Gran – Oh, I’ve just had the most horrendous nightmare. I dreamt that we were going on a road trip to another planet.
Prudence – We are Betty.
Gran – My dear, dear, Prudence….I’ve told you before….NEVER CALL ME BETTY!!!
Prudence – Sorry Elizabeth…
Gran – So how do we get there? What clothes do I pack? Can you import food items over there? What about petrol? What about water? Oh dear, I feel faint again……
Prudence – Calm down and breathe into this paper bag. David’s explained everything and we’ll be fine. We drive to the departure area and just drive through a rift and we’ll….
Gran – RIFT??? RIFT??? I’ve seen Torchwood and RIFTS ARE NEVER GOOD……Oh heavens….


Team HETS (Harcourt-Entwhistle Tuppington-Smythe)

Race car
1970 Franklin Marshall HiWay Rally
Restored and modernised in 2010.
2.5L, i4, NA engine producing 250HP
6 speed manual transmission and still RWD

Drivers
Spanners – ex-REME, general fix-it man……if it’s got an engine or something that moves then he can fix it. If it shouldn’t move then he’ll stop it.

George Harcourt-Entwhistle III – 19 years old and used to mope a lot……nicknamed Mopey. Knows about electronics and computers. No mechanical affinity but can program ECUs.


Support Vehicle
Spanners’ 1998 FM VanGo. Nothing really to say about it except the interior had to have the seats upgraded for the pensioners!
Holds multiple spare parts for both vehicles, tools and general survival items (food, shelters, cooking ability)

Drivers
Mrs Elizabeth Harcourt-Entwhistle (Gran or Mrs E……NEVER Betty!!) – Pensioner, widow of George Harcourt-Entwhistle, mother of George Harcourt-Entwhistle II and grandmother of Mopey. Recent hip operation means that she isn’t as mobile anymore so the actual “racing” isn’t possible. Veteran of multiple rallys from the 1960s up until the hip operation. Doesn’t like course language….but once she’s had a tipple………

Mrs Prudence Tuppington-Smythe (Auntie Pru, Nanna) – Pensioner, grandmother of David Tuppington-Smythe (Spanners……Yes, he FINALLY has a surname!!!) and very good friend of Elizabeth Harcourt-Entwhistle. Bored and lonely she decided to join the team.

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Team Sinesian Rejects


Team information
Previous part (Part 0.67 - Wonderful pieces of sh-)
Next part (Part 1 - Sunday Friday driver)


Part 0.99 - Turn it off


Guess what? Counting like this still makes sense, since it went +0.34, then +0.33, and now +0.32. Consistency at level 100 here. And not just a mistake from me.

March 29, 2023 - Somewhere in South Dakota

The clock strikes fourteen. TJ, Alauran, Jas and Ianis start to load the junk in the trunk and gunk in the frunk. Jerrycans, medical supplies, an ax, crowbar, and other tools that might be needed on the journey. Along with that, Ianis brings a semi-automatic rifle ‘just in case’. As they set up the CB radios, they head off on to the road. Ianis decided to go alone in the Ilaris Itan ute. TJ, Al and Jas set off in the Ilaris Imbe.

Ianis immediately takes the chance to go for a sprint over to Nevada. Soon enough, he drives fast enough to completely leave the range of the CB radio, and the rest of the crew will just be hoping he arrives with the car and himself in one piece.

Jas breaks the awkward silence following being left in the dust by Ianis. “Wonder if he’s heard of the Cannonball run.”

TJ’s ears perk up. While they haven’t been in the US for a while, they’ve probably all heard about the famous law-breaking sprint across the country. He responds, “Well, he’s oblivious to everything besides his close environment, so I doubt it, even if it is really famous.”

“Well, he’s doing a good impression of it. Reckon he’s going 120 right now.”

Alauran laughs. “I’ll be damned if that thing ever manages 110 on the freeway, especially considering the weak camper shell on the thing. We’ll either see him having rear-ended a family of four, being arrested, or see debris of the vehicle along the road. And if he does manage it, I’ll eat sand.”

“Sand?” – TJ asks, concerned.

Al looks TJ in the eyes, before muttering: “Sand. Fresh Nevadan sand.”

Jas immediately goes to send a text message to Ianis, informing him of Alauran’s bold bet. He promptly responds with “K”, the speed of said response raising texting-while-driving concerns with Jas. He stops messaging him for the time being.

“Alright, so like, how long will we be driving for?”

“Some twenty-three hours. So like, we’d probably want some music in here.”

Jas, responding to the statement, triumphantly pulls out a CD out of his bag, like he’s pulling a sword out of stone. Entitled “Jas’s super epic mix”, he tries to shove it in to the car’s head unit.

“Jas…this thing has a cassette player.”

“An aux port, at least?”

“It’s from 1990, you dingus.” TJ laughs.

Not yet defeated, Jas rummages through the bag, nearly tossing his laptop in to the window. Eventually, he finds an unlabeled cassette. Rocketing up to lean over to the front, he throws it in to the cassette player. With some mechanical whirring and complaining, it loads in.

It starts playing some sort of EDM at maximum volume, leading to TJ frantically trying to search for the volume knob while fighting with Alauran over the search, and trying to steer the car in the process.

“Woo yeah! This shit is banging!”

“TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFFFFF!” – TJ desperately shouts, trying to be heard over the stereo, glancing at Alauran.

“I’m FUCKING TRYING!” – Alauran responds in a panic.

The car swerves left and right across the lanes of the freeway as TJ can’t bear to focus on the road, every second of the music further destroying his hearing. Alauran has resorted to just covering his ears. Fortunately, there’s no traffic.

Eventually, triumph, as TJ finally hits the ‘eject’ button on the cassette deck. For a moment, there is silence, then, there is ringing. TJ then straightens the car’s trajectory again as they head on, slightly less capable than before.

TJ groans. “My eaaarsss.”

“Jas, you’re not touching the stereo again.” – Alauran follows, a mixture of annoyance and disappointment on his face, before turning to a grin.

“That wasn’t even my doing! How was that my fault?” Jas looks offended, before leaning back in to the seat. He goes to do something on his laptop afterward, furiously typing away.

“Well, you’re the reason why it decided to blast our eardrums with the worst EDM I’ve ever heard." Alauran gives Jas a little shove, causing his computer mouse to dramatically slide down underneath the passenger seat.

“Well, it could have been worse. Some music’s literally just dramatic bass beats with no other instruments.” TJ adds.

Jas, still trying to grasp for the mouse, goes on to say, “Technically, a synthesizer is a single instrument-”

TJ interjects, “That doesn’t count! A synthesizer can play many different things at once. It can synthesize anything it wants to, as long as it’s a wave of some kind.”


As they drive on, the music discussion continues on, strangely without music playing. It is then interrupted by a notification noise, which Jas takes note of. Retrieving his phone from the bag, he opens a text from Ianis:

“Hit 110, eat dirt”

It has an image attachment, and after waiting a minute for it to download over the poor cellular connection, the attachment reveals that Ianis did manage to take the scrapheap up to 110, all while texting and driving. Jas then goes on to announce the problem.

“Okay guys, we should, like, stop issuing speed challenges to Ianis. It’s getting really dangerous.”

“Oh, what now? Has he really rear-ended a family of four?” Alauran adds, jokingly.

“No, but you have a handful of sand to eat when we get there.”

Alauran nearly turns white, probably realizing the gravity of the bet he made.

“Agh, why did you have to send that…”

“You said it, and now you have to live up to your promise!”

TJ tries to defend Al, saying, “Okay, like, maybe we should consider the health concerns with eating sand. That shit ain’t gonna be healthy.” - stating the obvious.

“At least one person cares about my safety, and I’m glad it’s you, teej.” Alauran shifts his tone some.

“I don’t. You’re in this car.” TJ jokingly says, then adding; “This thing is the definition of unsafe.” - He pokes Alauran.

Alauran’s hand flies to his face, where it remains for the rest of TJ’s turn at the wheel. He tries to plan ahead, and gets some rest before he has to take over driving for the last 6-hour, 400-mile leg over to the campsite west of Vegas.


The group heads to a place called ‘Payson’, a good forty miles out south from Salt Lake City, Utah. Feeling tired, TJ goes to find a place to rest, as he spots a motel. Driving up to it, they park the vehicle.

“Alright dork, wake up.” TJ shakes Alauran a bit to get him out of the good deep sleep he was in. Jas, still wide awake, goes and throws the seat forward and folds it down, promptly waking Al up in less than a second.

“Gah…where are we?” Alauran’s delirious state not helping his sense of direction or time.

TJ goes on and answers. “Payson, Utah. Some forty-ish miles south of Salt Lake City. Thought it’d be less crowded out here, and it is.” He unbuckles and awkwardly climbs out of the car, walking over to the other side to go and open Alauran’s door.

“The name sounds familiar, some Echo was telling me something about this place and this car in my dream, though I thought it was in Arizona…?” - Alauran confusedly looks around, but he obviously can’t see anything of note out here.

“Let’s not worry about that now, I really need to take a piss.”

The group walks in, checking in to the motel. Wielding the keycard like an ax, TJ swipes it with power and ferocity, promptly missing the reader and hitting his hand on the door handle instead. He yelps out a swear before letting Alauran swipe it like a normal person.

Business done, they all head off to bed for some rest. They’ve got a day to burn, after all.


March 30, 2023 - Payson, Utah

It’s early in the morning when Alauran wakes up. He already got a lot of sleep before arriving at the motel, so he decides to use this time to go get some extra supplies before they head off to ‘Nehmenweld’, or whatever it was called. Besides cashiers…commenting on the non-human standing in front of them buying large quantities of canned food, it went relatively smoothly. He goes on to an AutoZone a few miles out, kitting out the car with a ‘universal lip’ and a spoiler, both of which with questionable chances of actually doing anything.

Eventually, Alauran drives over to a secluded place and watches the sunrise, pondering what’ll happen over what will probably be the craziest weeks of his life.


8 A.M., Five miles west of Payson

BZZT BZZT

Alauran wakes up from his dreaminess from his phone vibrating in his pocket.

“Hey, what’s up?” He says, still feeling a bit like his body is separated from his mind.

“Did…you take the car? Where are you?” - It’s TJ over the phone, rightfully concerned about his sudden disappearance with the car.

“I’m just a few miles west of Payson, pretty sure just at the base of West Mountain. I went to buy some stuff and watch the sunrise.”

“Alright, just, we kind of want to eat too, so if you could finish whatever you’re doing now there that’d be great.”

“Alright, I’ll be quick, see ya.”

He promptly hangs up and steps back in the car. The drive from West Mountain back to the motel is quick, but he feels strangely different. Oh well, just a fluke. Some minor effects of working tirelessly for weeks and having some time at total rest.

As Alauran arrives, TJ and Jas have already checked out and step into the small coupe.

“There’s a McDonalds close enough, if you two are inclined.”

Jas just nods as he continues typing away on his laptop, while TJ shrugs.

“It’s better than nothing, I guess.”

“Much better than starving, and that’s what we eat for.” Jas snarkily adds.

They order in the drive-thru before heading off again for the second, and last, leg.

Alauran then notices the oil pressure warning light turning on.

“Yep, that’s definitely what we needed right now. A failure before we even arrive.”

TJ looks out the back window, seeing the car still billowing out blue smoke as it has done for a while.

“I assume we’ve somehow burnt through all the oil, considering the exhaust is bluer than the lake.”

Turning on the hazards, Alauran goes and slows down, eventually coming to a stop to the side of the highway, where he shuts the engine off.

TJ gets the hood pins off and reveals the engine covered in oil. It leaked everywhere in the engine bay, even over the electrics, which, while it wouldn’t damage them, it could cause them issues in the future.

Getting a set of spanners, TJ goes and tries them all until one eventually fits in, tightening the head to the block. It would probably not fix the underlying issue, but at least delay it so the car could continue driving. Alauran, who stands beside giving emotional support, hands over the oil canister. TJ promptly throws the oil in to the engine, closes the thing, and goes back to the passenger seat while Alauran tries to figure out himself how the hood pins work.

Some amount of struggling later, and besides some minor knocking, the car drives on to Vegas without issue, though Ianis taunts them by arriving a lot earlier than they did. Oh well, nothing they could do about that.


Arriving late in the evening, the four decide to go to another motel and just relax for the few hours they had until they’d have to leave for the campsite, at noon.

Alauran regrets his decision to make the bet sorely. His throat does too.

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Announcement!

Apparently, we’re too off-topic in the #challenges section of Discord. As a result, we’ve been banished to our own Discord.

Shitbox Rally ← Discord Link

From this moment forward, I will NOT be looking in #Challenges for random questions. As it is, I was dealing with 3 main locations to look for stuff: DMs on Discord, Challenges on Automation Discord, and the Forum itself.

Please, I’m trying to keep the peace with the Automation Moderators. Use the new Discord. This link is also up in the main post in case you’d rather click it there.

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Team Shift Happens & Team VSmgAB

Prologue, Part 1


Prologue, Part 2:


March 26th, 2023, The Track, 9:30 AM


Kasiya gripped the wheel loosely, glad that the power steering on the HD-GV Carry All was incredibly light, that they’d modified the air suspension for the reduced gravity, and that for as large as the vehicle was, it remained surprisingly agile for its size. He turned into the parking lot, watching for people and vehicles as he maneuvered the heavy truck into several parking spaces along with the trailer. Just a few moments behind, Takaraya followed him in with the HD-GV Home-Unit and the other trailer, parking up next to his truck.

The sound of eight doors opening and closing in rapid succession announced that the full crew was there, trying to figure out the right combination of people in each vehicle.

Kaylie watched as Val’s crew carefully used the crane to lift one of Val’s custom trailers into the air, then set it down neatly next to the car it’d be attached to soon enough. “Is it bad that I want one?” Kaylie asked.

“The living trailer or the crane?” Kayden asked.

“The crane,” Kaylie admitted.

Kivenaal chuckled. “I know a guy who legitimately sells used military equipment. You want one that badly, let me know, I’ll get in touch with him and let him know I have a friend who wants a truck with a crane on the back.”

Kasiya looked over at the military vehicles and shook his head with a light chuckle. “From owning a former military truck myself, you probably don’t want one. Guaranteed, it’s noisy, rides rough, requires spare parts you can’t find anywhere, and won’t easily fit in a parking spot,” he said.

Deciding they’d stood back and watched long enough, they made a casual approach, or at least, as casual as a loosely-organized band of friends could manage to make without stepping on each other’s feet.

“Morning, Val,” Jayde said with a smile.

It was agreed upon that only one vehicle combination was to be unloaded for training purposes for multiple reasons, but mostly to save time and fuel. The others remained on site and available if need be.
As Regina and a trailer were now aligned next to each other, the crane operator folded the boom again, soon after clearing the area to park the truck next to the other ones that were present.

“Good morning,” Valentin responded as he turned to face the approaching team.
“‘Mornin’,” Norse added as he walked towards them, fist ahead for a round of fist-bumping.

By this time, Constantin joined: “Unloading of training supplies has been completed. You can start whenever you’re ready.”
He then turned away from Valentin and towards the general direction of the recruits.
“Rally up! Steam vehicle training will begin shortly!” he shouted across the parking lot, with mixed reactions from the recruits. Those that were not assigned to drive made no effort in being quick, while the others could at least have earned a participation trophy for their sense of urgency.
Eventually, all five recruits formed a ‘line’ in front of Valentin, which more closely resembled a sine wave.

“Thank you. First off, i shall assume that those holding an appropriate license know how to handle a ball-hitch trailer to EEA specifications. Second, i shall assume that the radiomen are able to operate equipment used within the CB radio ecosystem.” Valentin started, in hopes that any uncertainties the recruits or Constantin might have are brought up now and not later.

As Norse approached for a fist-bump, Kasiya tried his best to replicate it from what little he’d seen of its use in movies and videos, while at least trying to keep in mind his strength compared to that of the humans.

Takaraya followed up with a surprisingly-gentle fist-bump, though he still noticed the initial flinch and understood that Kasiya had probably overdone things a bit. The others followed suit, with Jayde being slightly awkward in meeting Norse’s right hand with his own dominant left, and Kivenaal adding to the confusion by offering both right hands, getting two fist-bumps from Norse in the moment.

Kayden smirked as he got the last bump in, then said, “If I’d seen you approaching with this plan ahead of time, I’d have warned you that Kasiya’s never actually done a fist bump before. I think you’ll probably be fine, but your hand’s probably going to be sore for a while.”

As the recruits “lined up,” Takaraya sighed. Even the vaguely-disorganized group that was Shift Happens had a neater line-up without being ordered to, and that was just for a casual fist-bump.

Norse had to swap hands after Kasiya’s turn, courtesy of the wrist not taking too kindly to his momentum.
He continued with his left hand for the others while shaking the pain off of the right one, leaving some very noticeable remnants in terms of pain.

“Hoped you slept well. I didn’t. First time heading for a true vacation and such… Obviously, Val has started ‘training’ the others on his contraption, so he is busy at the moment…” Norse stammered semi-coherently, looking over at a much more focused Valentin as he explained how his steam car differed from petrol ones.

“Regarding the vehicle, it largely works as you would expect. The important things to keep in mind are as follows: The clutch pedal is NOT a clutch pedal. Instead, it operates a retarder built into the gearbox to allow braking without overheating the wheel brakes. This is a compromise made to allow remote control of it when on rails.
The car as a whole weighs about 2.5 metric tons or thereabouts. The suspension and brakes have been strengthened to accommodate, but be aware that it will be lethargic in changing direction. Speaking of which, it has a tendency to oversteer, which should be mitigated with a trailer attached. Acceleration will be equally lethargic, courtesy of a not-perfectly-optimized throttle control system. Once it goes, expect it to behave like an electric vehicle,” Valentin explained, trying to deliver all the critical information in a brisk, yet structured manner.

“To get you accustomed to operating these cars, you will be able to drive them for 30 minutes each, excluding the preparations for setting off and parking. Uhm… you too, Sir, If you want.” Valentin continued, looking at Constantin for the last half-sentence.

“Alright: Patel, you go first. Jacknabbit second and Dupont third. I will try and squeeze my way in and go from there.” Constantin then instructed, prompting intense excitement from Rohan and hearty laughing from the other two valid recruit drivers at how Constantin might look within the car.

“Sorry about that, Njordal,” Kasiya said, seeing Norse trying to shake off the pain from his slightly over-done fist bump.

Kaylie chuckled as Norse mentioned he’d hoped the crew had slept well, but that he hadn’t. “Most of us did. Couple of these guys keep long hours, though, and I’m never too sure how much sleep Kivenaal actually gets,” Kaylie admitted.

“I’m just glad I don’t have to fold myself into that car,” Kayden said. “We had to make a gentleman’s agreement for future challenges that basically comes down to “No more midsize cars or smaller.” Of course, the Midnight Skyscraper over there pretty much needs a truck, and I don’t mean one of the little ones.”

Rukari then mentioned, “We are here so Kasiya can get more practice with big truck and trailer on road-that-loops.”

“That, and I’m tempted,” Takaraya said, “to make him learn to haul both trailers behind it.”

“There’s no point to that,” Kasiya replied.

“If the RV breaks down and you have to tow it, you’ll need to couple the trailers together so you have air brakes. Hauling the RV behind, yes, I’ll have to steer and stop, but it’s safer if you have the two trailers in that moment. Plus, in that situation,” Takaraya said, “you would be towing the equivalent of three trailers. Be glad we don’t have a third to burden you with.”

“You’re the first one in hundreds of people to get my name right. Also, this is why we are gonna be on rails. If one car dies, there’s three others to keep the train going. At least that’s what Val told me…” Norse replied, having little idea on the technical reasoning beyond redundancy.

Valentin meanwhile got to work with Rohan, taking a seat in the ‘trainer car’. This also was a convenient way of field-testing the remote control systems in case any of the drivers did something really stupid.
Once inside, Valentin went “hands off” for the most part, as the vast majority of things within were close enough to stock to where it was thought to be intuitive.

Lo and behold, Rohan had no issues getting Regina up and running, electing to get some help from William in reversing up to the trailer hitch one pressure was built. Coupled up and lights plugged in, Regina went out on track, leaving the other four soldiers, Constantin and Norse on the parking lot.

About 40 minutes later, the first drive was concluded with no issues, returning Regina to a ‘cold and dark’, albeit preheated state with the trailer uncoupled.

This process was repeated for the other two drivers, with Jacques having noticeable problems reversing up to the trailer due to poor visibility. Still, no damage was done and the recruits were at least not completely unfamiliar with the steamers once the time would come.

Now it was Constantin’s turn, which was foiled by his inability to fit into the car, accompanied with ridicule by the recruits.
“I still have Robert, but while legroom is not an issue there, the bucket seat is not sized to a broad-shouldered person…” Valentin admitted as Constantin finaggled his way out.
“We have enough people to crew the vehicles to capacity.” Constantin countered, rightfully so.

For the most part, the Shift Happens crew just watched the antics of the soldiers learning to drive the steam car, up until Constantin had issues fitting into the driver’s seat of Regina. Kaylie smirked, then admitted to the group, “Yep, figured that would happen. This big guy,” she added, slugging Kayden in the arm right-handed and making her brother grunt slightly, wince, and rub his shoulder as a result of the unexpected attack, “means we have to modify seat rails every time we want him to drive.”

Kasiya gave a grimace as he realized that it was now his turn on track. Takaraya chuckled, then walked over to the RV and set the trailer down, driving the large vehicle out of the way. “Well, Kasiya, couple up to it,” Takaraya called out, watching as Kasiya climbed up into the driver’s seat of the Carry-All. He pulled forward, lined up the trailer with the other unit, then backed up carefully until he was sure he was in the right spot to hitch up. Putting the parking brake on, he stepped out of the cab, staring at the fact that he had the ball perfectly centered under the hitch, then flipped open the toolbox, grabbed the air hose and electrical cable, connected both air and power, then set the trailer onto the hitch and locked it in.

Kasiya then settled back into the cab, cut the wheel hard to the left to get turned around, and brought his box-snake onto the track carefully, very aware of how little room for error he had with the last trailer. On the track, he keyed the radio and mentioned, for the whole pit lane to hear, “Just for the record, hauling doubles like this sucks.

“You’ll do fine,” Takaraya said in response, chuckling as Kasiya slowly started following the circuit.

Kasiya grimaced intensely as he took the first turn and realized he wasn’t taking it anywhere near wide enough as he dipped the rear trailer’s inside set of wheels well over the curb. While he was making some improvements by the end of his first lap, it was clear that he had a little way to go before he could handle doubles neatly on a winding road course. “Well, I know what I’m spending the rest of my day doing. Turning laps until I manage to keep off of the curbs,” Kasiya grumbled over the radio.

“Just go for a few more laps until you get it right, Kasiya,” Takaraya said.

Jayde grabbed the radio handle a moment later, adding, “We know you can do it, so show us that you can.”

Kasiya sighed, approaching the first turn again and remembering to go a little wider than he’d done previously. This time around, instead of plowing over the curb with the wheels, he heard the awful sound of heavy-duty tires growling over the rumble strip at the apex of the turn. Thankfully, he managed to keep all of the tires on the track, even if it wasn’t what he considered to be a good lap, and as he rolled over the starting line again, he mentioned, “I do that on an actual road, I’m going to curb-rash the run-flats. I don’t-”

“It is possible, Kasiya,” Jayde said. “One more round, you can do it.”

Kasiya sighed, but obliged with one final lap, this time keeping the trailers in line for the whole lap. As he pulled off the track and into the pit lane, Takaraya then asked, “Think you can reverse those into your spot?”

“Fuck no,” Kasiya replied. “I know how to reverse one trailer. Two is asking for trouble.”

Jayde grabbed the radio from Takaraya, then said, “Would you at least give it a try?”

Kasiya sighed, muttered to himself, “Heroes and fools look the same, but one succeeds where the other fails,” then dropped the automatic into reverse. The quiet reverse beeper informed everyone around of what was happening as Kasiya checked his mirrors and rear-view camera, using the combination of information to carefully reverse the double trailers into the spot he’d driven out of. While they were certainly not perfectly straight, he did have them sitting with tires on the white lines in the lot. He set the parking brake, put the transmission in park, then shut off the engine.

As he climbed out of the cab, Kasiya found himself caught up in a strong hug from his father, who then said, “I knew you could do it.”

Jayde admitted, “A lot of shipping companies have to back doubles, Kasiya, so I knew it was possible.

“I doubt I could do it without the technological aid of this truck, though,” Kasiya admitted. “I could see where the rear of the trailer was pointing in the rear-view camera.”

While Kasiya was out on the track getting himself familiar with a massive 22-wheel rig, his crew got to work putting the substantially smaller car and trailer back where they took it from. By the time he returned, the parking lot was devoid of a steam car and it’s trailer in the middle of it.

This allowed everyone present to watch Kasiya slot the truck neatly into the parking spot, garnering various forms of compliments as a result.

“Looks like everyone is familiar with their equipment, then.” Valentin said, walking over to the lodging trailer meant for himself and Norse. Once there, he climbed up onto the flatbed it was loaded upon and opened every single door the trailer had, digging into the various boxes and compartments thereafter.

“We certainly need more power tools. I’m not changing 64 wheels a day alone,” Valentin protested from behind the trailer, "Apart from that, non-perishables and fuel, i think we’re all set. Let me check the other trailer, though.

He then hopped over to the trailer which contained the fuel and water tanks with remarkable gracefulness, checking it’s contents for anything missing as well.

“Yeah, power tools, batteries, chargers, non-perishables in case the locals don’t have any and lots of fuel for the first night,” Valentin confirmed as he returned to the group.

Kaylie nodded, watching as Kasiya disconnected the second trailer from his truck, then replied to Val, “We also need to gather supplies as well. Plywood for targets, canned goods, wouldn’t hurt to have some portable light sources, get some extra toilet paper, that sort of thing.”

“Definitely need to pick up some canteens for everyone. Or supplies to convert something into a canteen,” Kivenaal said.

“Already have one, so that makes your task easier,” Jayde mentioned.

“Spare covers for the beds would be nice,” Takaraya added.

“We need charcoal for grill,” Rukari said, before adding as well, “Also need baking supplies.”

Takaraya glanced at Rukari, then asked, “We don’t have an oven, so how are you planning to bake?”

“Have short barrel with lid in truck. Put barrel on grill, light fire, is like oven,” Rukari replied.

“We have a stovetop and that is about it for cooking…” Valentin admitted before turning to face Constantin.

“I would start with grocery runs and then get more power tools. Fuel tends to be cheaper in the evening,” Valentin requested, prompting the associated staff to take initiative in preparing the four relevant trucks with the intent of leaving the guest trailers at the track.

“You have the trucks at your disposal. I’ll stay here and keep tabs on the dunce-club over there.” Constantin remarked, motioning to the recruits who looked like they were tring to summon something by dancing in circles.

“You sure got the pinnacle of the Swedish Army at your service…” Norse commented, also watching the dance unfold.

“Except the iceberg is upside-down…” Constantin added as the four trucks pulled up near the group.

Due to one truck only seating two, Valentin and Norse were forced to split and climb aboard two separate ones. Nevertheless, they left the premises shortly after, headed to Walmart.

Likewise, Kaylie, Jayde, Rukari, and Kasiya boarded the Carry-All, pulling out of the parking area first, with Kivenaal, Malavera, Kayden, and Takaraya onboard the Home-Unit, having connected up the second trailer back to the vehicle it was supposed to be hauled by, following about three minutes behind.


Pahrump, Nevada, Walmart Supercenter, 2:00 PM


The growling rumble of 32 cylinders announced the arrival of both HD-GV units in the parking lot. Deciding not to be assholes, the two huge rigs and their trailers were parked as far from the doors as they could manage, and the decision was made for Kaylie, Jayde, Rukari, and Kayden to go in for most of the shopping, leaving most of the tall crew outside.

Kasiya and Takaraya configured their refrigerated trailers to actually be refrigerated and not just “somewhat cool” while the group of four wandered into the store, grabbing four different shopping carts.

Inside the store, Kaylie gave her shopping team their orders.

“Okay, Rukari, you’re going to get charcoal, canteens, battery powered lanterns, batteries for those lanterns, and toilet paper. Jayde, you’re in charge of canned food. Focus on things that don’t require perishables to make a meal. Kayden, hit the bedding aisles, get two sets of sheets, blankets, pillows, and bed-covers for four queen-size beds. They’ll be too wide for the Home-Unit’s bunks, but you can wrap a cover around yourself like a sleeping bag if it’s cold. I’ll get the non-perishable parts of the baking supplies, matches, lighters, some extra pots and pans, and a bottle of dish detergent,” Kaylie said. “Don’t worry about the budget, use the company credit card, it’ll cover it.”

After the orders were given, all four shoppers split and headed to gather their supplies, creating some mild chaos on occasion.

Valentin and Norse also headed inside, somehow missing the two HD-GVs parked on the other end of the lot.
Within, if more or less unfolded like any other grocery run, albeit of larger scale.
With fairly little structure, the pairing just went up and down the aisles loading up everything that they knew needed or otherwise seemed useful, given that an empty bed freed up lots of volume within the trailer.
Eventually, they dragged their two carts full of supplies to the cash registers, coincidentally ending up right behind the half of Shift Happens that also was in there.

“Oh would you look at that! Long time no see, right?” Norse said jokingly, “Also getting some groceries?”

“Yeah, we had some things we had to pick up,” Kaylie said, loading up the belt with pots, pans, fire-starting supplies, flour, sugar, yeast, and dish detergent. “Jayde, Rukari, and Kayden are in other lines trying to speed up our shopping trip,” she added. “Sorry that we’re slowing the pace of your shopping run in the process.”

“Beats being stuck behind a granny fishing change out of her wallet for 15 minutes, haha.” Norse chuckled as Valentin reached halfway down the length of the belt to procure a divider, after which he loads up the remainder of it with his supplies.

“We still need to get power tools to speed up the transition process. But we do have all day to do that since the contract for power generation formally starts tomorrow afternoon or so. That is when we need to be at the starting area in case anyone arrives a day early and draws power,” Valentin explained as he stacked an assortment of “add water and boil” meals onto the belt.

Kaylie chuckled, then said, “Usually, it’s either the granny fishing change, or the Karen demanding a manager, or the lady with a three-ring-binder full of coupons that she insists on using. At least with us, our expensive trip is, well, paid for very easily.” As the last item was scanned and the total was displayed, Kaylie swiped the TST expense-account card and keyed in her number, put the card away in her wallet, and then started putting bags back into the cart. She looked over to the other lanes, watching as Kayden soon joined her with a cart piled with bed supplies, followed by Rukari and his cart of camping supplies, and then Jayde taking the longest with a cart practically packed with canned food.

“Jayde, did you have to buy out half the supply of canned goods?” Kaylie asked.

“You do realize how much Kasiya eats, right?” Jayde quipped back. “He demolished four cans of chili in one sitting, remember? So I gathered up supplies with that in mind.”

“Good point. I guess I did say to focus on things that wouldn’t require perishable items to make the meal, and… If we’re eating from a supply of cans, we have to keep in mind just how much everyone does eat,” Kaylie replied.

“There is a reason why we went this route regarding food. You apparently were first to get to the canned ones,” Norse commented half-jokingly.

“That. But it also takes up less weight and volume within our storage solutions. Yes, neither is at a premium, but any reserves allow us to source whatever useful things en route,” Valentin added, being distracted by the cashier naming the total, which was paid in cash due to a distinct lack of locally accepted payment methods.

“See you around then. At latest, tomorrow, around noon at the start line,” he said once the shopping load was back in the cart, heading outside to store the haul where it belongs.

Kaylie nodded, then said, “Noon, at the starting area, no problem. I’ll pass that on to the others.” She then led her parade of carts out to the two HD-GV units and started loading up the trailer behind Takaraya’s Home-Unit with their groceries, planning on sorting it all out later.

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Team reUnity

reUnity is a (underground) amateur racing team set in Asia. The team mostly consists of East Asian and SEA members, and for this round the East Asian wing (predominantly CN, JP and KR) will join the race as the team’s entry to the Shitbox Rally.

Team Members:

Jiang Hui :cn: - Wuhan-born Jiang is a lead medical engineer working in a major medical equipment company in Beijing, and the 36-year old is known for his temperous and aggressive style and his successful career in amateur racing and videos as well. (You might know him from here)

Anthony Park Seung Ji :kr: - Rumored to be the apparent heir of the Hanseung chaebol, the 55-year old, Harvard-graduated Seoulite is the second son of the well known industrialist Park Jae Sim. A cold, calculated person, his tactics and brillance made him a calm driver on the road, having good reputation in the amateur racing scene.

Ayumi Miyazaki :jp: - Currently a 22-year old university student living in Tokyo aspiring to be a manga artist, Ayumi was born in the suburbs in Osaka, and her happy-going, fun-loving attiude and loves to crack jokes. Somehow she’s a pretty good driver too, with her artsy driving style leading her on amateur races.


Vehicle: 2003 Ursula F5 cross 400i x4

The vehicle chosen for the trip is the 2003 Ursula F5, specifically the cross x4 model, which is the F5 estate with jacked up suspension and offroading parts for improved offroading capabilities. The original engine, a 3.3 liter inline-6 was removed for a much powerful and cheaper Ventura “Eaststar” 4.4 DOHC V8, and other parts were made. Besides that, the stock manual transmission for the car was kept, and the car had a faulty 8-speaker stereo system and suspension (later fixed) when the car was bought.

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Entries are now open!

Open the floodgates! The timer has passed and we are now accepting entries.

As a reminder, here is what to include:

  • the .car file
  • the other .car file, if you want to use two vehicles
  • the aggression modifier per vehicle
  • “Top Gear” mode → do the vehicles stay together in case of breakdowns?

Not relevant for game stats, but relevant for RP:

  • if your team intends on using the campsite generator @Elizipeazie’s team has brought
  • if yes, how much power (in increments of 4 Kilowatts) they would ideally want
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