The 2022 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker challenge (FINAL RESULTS)

Team Oxracers, Ep. 16: Rolling along

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Michael’s remaining stint passes largely uneventful, except for a small misunderstanding with the Sandhurst in a braking zone. After a while, he signals the pits that the fuel light has come on.

As Michael brings the Kando to a stop, Corazon approaches him, geared up for another stint behind the wheel. “Anything happened, or happening?” he eagerly demands to know from Michael, as the latter exits the Kando.

“Nothing. It’s beginning to feel somewhat like Desert Bus”, Michael comments. “Oh, and it actually pulls a little bit to the right since the ‘operation’ at the last stop.”

“Meh. Not even something to roll for”, Corazon complains.

“The calm before the storm?” Lucas tries with a hopeful undertone.

Corazon shrugs dismissively and enters the Kando.

Jane meanwhile has finished refueling and Mary signals for Corazon to take off. To everyone’s surprise, he launches the Kando with utmost care.

The remaining Oxracers exchange worried glances and go back to rest, except Michael who volunteers for radio duty for Corazon’s last stint.


Team Prognosis Negative

Chapters VI to IX - The rally champs

6:30PM-8PM (VI)

With Johan back in the pits and Anna on the track, it was a bit more hectic around other teams.

They were 5th! 5th!

Johan was ready to pull out the champagne.

“We’ll all eat you alive! You’ll see, Anna will make you regret coming here today!” he screamed to no team in particular.

Anton was trying to calm him down while Josef sat comfortably to watch the train wreck ready to happen.

“No way we fifth, does not make sense, just luck.” he mumbled.

Anton heard him.

“Hey Johan, it handled that well the car? Because…”, Anton held is tongue in.

“Yeah bro, it was awesome. Silky smooth, it accelerates super fast.” said Johan.

You could hear Josef mumble “That is why guardrails are your new friends…”

“No seriously, car is solid, feels like I am driving an unstoppable tank!! But yeah, the Oxracers and that damn Callahan are just way to fast. I reckon we can finish on the podium at this rate!” said an excited Johan.

Great, it was not a POS after all?


Anna was flying across the track.

Anton was confused, thinking about the car’s performance, when his thought were interrupted by Anna on the radio.

Anna (radio) - “Hey guys… this does not feel like a piece of shit. I do not understand. I could use a lot more mid and top-range acceleration, but this accelerates like a beast out of slow corners. It clearly was tuned, but not for high speed racing…”

Something in Anton’s mind clicked.

“The VIN! We can search the car’s history!” he blurted out of nowhere.

Josef laughed so much that he nearly fell out of his chair. “You… you… hahaha… you bought… snort a car, hahahaha, a car without checking? Fucking… haha, stupid millennials snort

Anton was not amused. “Hey, sue me uncle, it was last minute you know…” he said trying to defend himself.

He started trying to find the few paperwork he had with him, unable to find the car’s VIN.

“We’ll have to get it when the car gets in for a refuel soon.” he said to himself, forgetting he was the next one to drive the car.

Meanwhile Johan was bored until they looked at the board.

on the radio

Johan - “YOU ARE 3rd!!! ANNA!!!”

Anna - “What seriously, I was in a groove, did not even realize, what happened, tons of accidents?”

Johan - “Dunno, was not paying attention… WE’LL KICK YOU ASSES” he screamed to the pits, but still on his mic.

Anna - “Can you not do that? Seriously, people are working here. I’ll probably have to coming in soon.”

Johan stopped listening, he was struting in the pits like a peacock.


Anna sputtered in the pits and got out of the car.

“Wow, this thing handles well. I’d like a bit more speed but…” she stopped as Anton was running around the car while Josef was fueling the car.

Anton looked it a headless chicken. “Where is it, where is it…” as he was frantically searching for the VIN.

“Err… you know it is your turn to drive right, Anton? Are you ready?” asked Anna, worried. She then looked a josef who shrugged.

“I think he’s looking for the VIN” said Johan, bored.

“Come on Anton, get in the car, we’re 3rd right now, don’t mess this up for us!!” she screamed at him.

Anton reluctantly got in, without finding what he was looking for.

He went out on the track, a bit distracted.

… which showed. About half-way through Anton impacted a guardrail severly, so much that flying debris went everywhere, causing chaos.

There goes the tank, Anton thought

on radio

Anton - “Clipped a guardrail hard, need to come in to fix, lots a lot of steel.”

Josef - “Roger that, we will be ready.”

Back in the pits, the Régal was in bad shape. Anton got out and continued his search.

“Got it!! Here, take a picture and do a search on it” he said to Johan, who was sitting on a chair looking at the team repairing the car.

“Yeah yeah, coming.” reluctantly said Johan.

Getting the VIN with all the rust took nearly longer than the repair.

“Come on stop this guys, that is not critical, we need to go back in the race, get the fuck out there Anton!!” said a livid Anna.

Anton jumped, a bit scared, and promptly got in the Régal.

Meanwhile, Johan was with Josef and Anna, doing a history search on the car itself.

“Guys…” hesitated Johan.

The jig is up thought Anna, he just found out this is a piece of …

“… we’ve got a freaking rally car!!!” screamed Johan.

Anna jumped. “What??” she exclaimed. It was modified in the 90s for rally racing. Actually did a few regional and national races, finished high in some and even won one.

“No wonder the transmission is tuned for the low end and it feels so smooth!” muttered Anna.

Johan still did not realize it was an octane tuned performance car, but at this point, no one cared.

They actually bought a decent car!! if they had known and had the time, maybe they could have tuned it better…

It would have probably helped them for sure as they were now 6th, losing 3 places since Anton get in the car.

Johan was now primed to get the rally car across the finish line!

4AM-8AM (IX)

As soon as he learned about the car, Anton felt more confident.

“I knew something was up!” he thought… just as he took a super wide turn and spun out of control, the Schnell barely missing it.

“Shit…” he screamed for himself.

He started to fully concentrate now.

His time improved, he actually passed the Saarland #23. He was invigorated.

He got enough ahead that they had the chance of coming back in front of the Saarland after refueling. He was flying.

“I’m coming in for a switch, nearly empty” he said on the radio.

Back in the pits, there was a bit of a scene between Anna and Johan.

“No it was my turn, MY TURN!” screamed johan.

“You are reckless, you’ll waste our chances to do better” responded Anna, calmly.

They argued for a while as the Régal pulled. Josef took care of refuel as he rolled his eyes at the 2 young hot shots viying for the wheel.

Anton got out. “Come on Johan, get ready!” he said.

Johan let out a victory yelp. “Ha Ah! I AM next.”

“Hey, I got us to third place and was not kissing that guardrail constantly…” muttered a saddened Anna.

“Come on Johan, help Josef while Anna gets in!” said Anton as he winked at Anna.

“Hey that’s not fair!” grumbled Johan. He was a bit furious.

“Thanks” said Anna as she passed Anton.

“Go get em” he responded.

It is now or never, about 6 hours left.

Unless the Sandhurst or the Cambridge have major issues, they do not have much chance, but they were going to battle that Saarland to the end.

5th place was possible, as Anna got in the car and accelerated out of the pits.

“Now, let’s race” she said to herself.

(to be continued)


4 AM - 8 AM

Both Hansen and Andersson now got some much needed time to rest. The Ambrosia had been relatively reliable and they did trust Carléns driving skills, even if he tried to push the beige barge a bit too hard.

They didn’t wake up until much later when Carlén came back for refuelling.

"Everything is fine?", Hansen asked.

"Yeah", Carlén answered. "Played a game of cat and mouse with the Callahan too, was too hard to resist, now I will probably be seen as an asshole, haha"

With the tank filled up, the beige barge once again went away, maybe getting back on the track with a little bit too fast pace, with the tail breaking out, but hey. It was begging to be driven that way.


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With 4 hours left of the race, the WRK has to go in for refuelling. The Przenopewien once again hits another object on the track, this time it is the Callahan. The Przenopewien needs some mild panel beating but the Callahan looks worse and will need lots of time in the pits. Meanwhile, the Sandhurst does some light guardrail nudging, meaning that the Saarland has to slow down for it, and the Régal also has to slow down but manages to pass the two cars. The Bricksley slightly nudges the Cambridge but it doesn’t seem to make any major damage to any of the cars.

It might look worrying that the Cambridge immediately is going into the pits but it seems like if it was just running out of fuel. The WRK is braking to not hit a skidding Seongu, resulting in the WRK being hit by the Sandhurst instead, and the Régal barely avoiding the mess with a spinout. The WRK is in such a sad shape that Team Rogue Traders decides to end the race, and the Sandhurst requires quite a lot of time for panel beating in the pits.

The sort of aggressive driving has given the Seongu the lead, but at the same time it seems to be kind of harsh on the little hatchback, for example now it was nudging the guardrail again. The Callahan barely avoids the guardrail at the same spot, something the Bricksley doesn’t. Team Shift Happens now has to do some straightening of sheetmetal in the pits, and at the same time they fill up the tank. Also refuelling is the Sandhurst.

Aggressive driving has also been somewhat of a trademark for Team “If it’s not punk it’s junk”. A spinout of the Cambridge also causes a spinout of the Seongu. The Régal barely avoids all of this, passing that whole bunch of cars is a slightly impatient Erik Carlén in the Saarland, but he seems to be misjudging the speed of the Bricksley driving ahead of this car-pileup. A sideswipe later, the Bricksley now has two flapping doors on the OTHER side, meaning that a visit in the pits is needed, while the Saarland seems to be battered and bruised, but more or less intact from a function standpoint, and continues like if nothing happened. As a host, we apologize to Team shift happens already now.

After some hectic minutes, it is all calming down. Maybe driving for hours are taking its toll on some of the drivers, because we have seen better driving than the one Team Septic tank is doing right now. Also, the Przenopewien has to go in for refuelling.

Coming back on the track, the Przenopewien is behaving strange, sometimes pinging like crazy. Going back into the pits, it turns out that the distributor is loose, maybe been knocked from all the beating the orange soapbar has been taking.

It is all calm at the moment, spare for the driving by Team Oxracers in the white Seongu #41 being a bit aggressive again, causing some nudging of the Union without any further damage.

The Régal does some slight nudging of the guardrail, causing the Callahan to swerve. Maybe Team Desert Scavengers has been misjudging things a little, because with just some minutes left they have to refuel their Union. Barely getting back on track, all the 24 hours have went and the race is over.

@AndiD @Texaslav @stm316 @Maverick74 @karhgath @Madrias @Elizipeazie @Fayeding_Spray @TheYugo45GV @Vento @interior @Jaimz68 @Rudzis @cake_ape @SheikhMansour @MrdjaNikolen

(Results are pending since I want to make some more RP room.)


Team Shift Happens

The Race - 4 AM to 8 AM
Breakfast of Champions? - The Human Side of Things

Behind the Wheel, 8:00 AM

As the Bricksley’s clock rolled over to 8 AM, having been set yesterday, Rukari looked up toward the pit lane to see Kayden writing something on a chalkboard…

It took an additional lap before Rukari saw what had been written on that board. Bold as polished brass in wide, white-chalk letters, he now had his orders straight from the pit lane.

Fang it! 6500+

Rukari gave a savage grin and wrapped his hand around the automatic’s gear selector, pulling the gearbox out of drive and down a gear, letting the V8, officially, off of the leash.

In the pits, 8:05 AM

“She’ll come apart doing that,” Kaylie warned, seeing Kayden’s message board.

“If he’s tearing up the engine, he’s way less likely to tear up the car,” Kayden replied. He watched as the WRK zoomed into the pit lane for some gas, followed by hearing a loud crash as the Przenopewien and the Callahan got into a tangle, with both cars coming in for a date with the hammers.

Behind the wheel, 8:10 AM


Skadu vi! Learn to drive!” Rukari yelled as the Sandhurst hit the guardrail, causing a course-correcting Saarland to slow down along with the Regal, which slid past both cars with ease. Rukari pushed the throttle down hard in a lower gear, the unfettered V8 screaming past 6000 RPM as it shot past the Saarland, the lights and sirens announcing his presence just as intensely as the engine at this point.

Then Rukari gave a savage grin as he saw the Cambridge up ahead. Knowing the front quarters were soft, he aimed to use the nudge-bar this time, tagging the rear bumper of the Cambridge and causing it to slide.

Almost immediately after recovering, the Cambridge disappeared into the pits, but when Kayden replied to Rukari that “They just needed gas, maybe a change of shorts at the most,” Rukari just chuckled.

A savage snarling roar bellowed through the exhaust as Rukari caught up to the next group trading paint, as the Seongu slid into a skid, the WRK piled on the brakes, and the Sandhurst, already having proven to Rukari once in the last hour that they couldn’t drive, piled into the WRK. The Regal spun out in an attempt to avoid crashing into the mess, while the WRK would be leaving the race on a trailer, and the Sandhurst went into the pits for some panel beating.

“Ought to make driver of car unbend panels,” Rukari called out over the radio. “Would teach not to crash car.”

Karma had a bullet with Rukari’s name on it, as while the Seongu brushed the guardrail and the Callahan narrowly avoided it, Rukari scuffed up the passenger side of the car. He brought it into the pit lane with the smashed Sandhurst not far behind.

In the Pits, 9:30 AM

“Right, you smashed the car, Rukari, this is yours,” Malavera said, as Rukari got out of the car and grabbed up the hammer to move some of the mangled paneling out of the way of the wheels and the hood. He worked quickly while Norse had a quick breakfast, watching the chaos as Rukari straightened panels and Kivenaal juggled four fuel cans for a quick fill-up. With panels properly beaten, Rukari handed off the hammer and climbed back in, sending the engine howling to the moon down the pit lane as he rejoined the track.

Behind the Wheel, 10:00 AM

Rukari was back in his element, having passed the Cambridge and Seongu neatly, only to hear squealing tires behind him. Sure enough, the Cambridge had spun out, initiating a spin-out of the Seongu. The Regal piled on the brakes, slowing up the Saarland, which shot around the still-moving accident-in-motion, and promptly side-swiped the whole driver’s side of the car.

Skadu di! I just fixed this!” Rukari yelled into the radio, limping the car into the pit lane with the hazard lights flashing as well as the lights and siren.

Pit Lane, 10:15 AM

“Great. We can’t weld both of these shut,” Kivenaal grumbled. He grabbed a barn door latch for the front door, struck up the oxy-acetylene torch, and proceeded to “install” it between the front and rear doors. To ensure it would work, he welded the rear door shut.

Takaraya gave a disapproving look over at the Trafikjournalen team, crossing his titanium-plated arms and shaking his head until someone came over to apologize. (@Knugcab)

The welding took a while, and more importantly, carefully breaking out the driver’s side windows without filling the car with glass had proven to be necessary after the front window-winder motor had given up after the impact. With the side of the car cooled down by plenty of water, and Rukari back behind the wheel, the Bricksley left the pit lane in a flurry of wheel-spin and a big puff of black smoke out of the exhaust.

Back on Track, 10:30 AM

“Calm before storm,” Rukari said, seeing the track was relatively peaceful. He pushed the Bricksley hard, lights and sirens blaring, engine starting to protest slightly under the strain, wind howling through the cabin thanks to the latest repairs. Other than Team Septic Tank again proving their driver couldn’t drive, and the orange Przenopewien needing gas, things were quiet.

Then the orange cheese block came back out on track making a terrible racket for a lap and returning to the pits.

He witnessed the Seongu nudge the Union and shook his head. “Neyi. Police car is heavy, you not spin it out,” he said over the radio. (@AndiD)

Behind the Wheel, just before Noon

“Hey, if you’re saving anything in reserve, now’s the time to use it!” Kaylie called to Rukari over the radio.

Rukari gave a savage smile, downshifted, and buried the gas pedal. The engine surged up to speed, passing the Regal and Callahan just before the Regal nudged the guardrail. The Union disappeared from the track, returning with mere minutes to spare.

Rukari glanced down as a light came on after he crossed the finish line for the last time, ending the 24 hours. Grabbing the steering wheel on the right side with his left hand to make the left turn coming up, Rukari keyed the microphone and said, “I have oil light on.”

The tires suddenly squealed as a thundering bang sounded from up front. The rear tires, now coated in oil, caused the car to spin out. He felt the back end hit something, then the nudge-bar met the guard rail.


Skadu vi! Vie ruki!” he yelled, having just received an airbag-assisted punch in the face.

The Pit Lane, 12:02 PM

“Shit!” Kivenaal yelled, seeing Rukari spin out the car, doing a good job of maintaining control… If he had about a quarter mile more of straight road to get the car straightened up. He waited for the cars to pass where Rukari was at, then took off at a full run. When someone yelled to him, Kivenaal yelled back, “That’s my brother in there!”

Takaraya, likewise, took off running in case he was needed, grabbing Kayden on the way past into a fireman’s carry so they had a field medic. Despite Kivenaal’s head start, Takaraya got to the car first…

Just in time to see a slightly-dazed Rukari reaching out of the battered Bricksley’s window, hauling himself out of it and, with his face covered in his own blue blood, raising both fists to the sky in celebration.

The four of them walked back to the pit lane, letting the track tow-truck retrieve the battered car.

Kaylie’s first response, more from relief that he was okay and not seeming that badly injured, was, “You look like shit.”

“I would say same, but not polite,” Rukari replied, grabbing a shop towel and wiping his bleeding nose and split lip with a grimace.

Kayden looked around and motioned to Jayde and Malavera to help get all the steel items away from the military cot. “Right, we’re just going to have you lay down here. I’m making sure you’re okay.”

Neyi. Am fine. White puff-bag hit me in face with hand,” Rukari grumbled.

“Guys,” Kaylie pointed out to the two newer members of the crew, “Be careful around Rukari’s blood. It stains everything and it oxidizes metals like crazy. Also… If you get any on your hands, for the sun’s sake, don’t get it in your eyes or mouth. You’ll have a really bad time.”

“Rukari, can you stand still!? We’re trying to make containment and cleanup easy, and you’re dripping on the pit lane,” Kayden grumbled.

Jayde, on the other hand, gently grabbed both Val’s and Norse’s hands in his, then said, “If you need someone to talk to, I’ve been told I’m a good listener. And… I may know a thing or two about facing a fear, or an event that’s unpleasantly similar to the first.”


Team Oxracers, Ep. 17: Rolling (and skidding) towards the finish

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“Desert Bus?” Corazon wonders aloud in the Kando’s cockpit after a while in his stint, recalling Michael’s statement when they changed drivers during the past pitstop. “This is more like OutRun, just passing people left and right” , he mutters as he laps the Sandhurst on the left and then the WRK on the right immediately after. With a sad glance, he notices, however, that not only there is no blonde woman in the passenger seat - there is no passenger seat at all in the Kando, in fact.

He did not choose the best spot on track to let his thoughts wander, however, as he runs wide at the very next corner and has to catch the Kando before it skids into the guardrail. “Almost like OutRun”, he corrects himself.

Since OutRun does not have a rear view mirror, Corazon remains oblivious of the carnage that his little skid (skit?) caused behind him, with the WRK @Fayeding_Spray having to take evasive action, being hit by the Sandhurst @stm316 in the process, and the Regal @karhgath is somehow also in the mix.

Michael on radio duty in the pits has a prime vantage point on the ensuing chaos and he shakes his head. He presses the ‘speak’ button. “Everything alright?”

“Affirmative”, is all Corazon answers.

“You want to hand over to Lucas early?”

“Negative”, is the curt reply from Corazon. Michael wonders how much swagger one can put into a single word and he shakes his head again.

He decides to follow Corazon’s driving a bit more closely in the next minutes, but apart from one close call with the guardrail Michael has to concede that Corazon is actually doing a rather fine job out there.

A while later Michael gets distracted by the other Oxracers who are now fully awake again and cobble together some rudimentary breakfast. They try to pass the time with some banter until some curse words from Corazon in the radio receiver shift their attention back on track. Another multi-car pile-up with the Kando facing the wrong way, along with the Cambridge, and the Regal (again), Saarland and Bricksley are involved as well.

“You okay?” Mary has taken over radio duty again.

“I’m fine and the Kando is, too”, he replies angrily. “THE BLOODY PUNKS DRIVE LIKE JUNK THOUGH.” @Maverick74

The other Oxracers exchange amused glances - they rightly assume that Corazon shouted the last words through the Kando’s open driver window while happening to keep the ‘Speak’ button pressed so that they are able listen in as well.

“Shall we put Lucas behind the wheel? Looks like we should not stretch our Luck any further for the last few hours?”

Corazon seems to need a few seconds to consider things. “Alright, one more lap and then I come in for a quick driver change.”

Mary signals Lucas to get ready for the final stint.

OOC: Feel free to have folks be angry at Corazon especially for the mess he caused earlier…


Pre Race - Trackside

Ollie: Look at this field. There’s a PrincessPeach, Singer, Shell, a Brick and something to do with sugar. Plus, that excessively pink monstrosity. I think that’s got factory backing, they’ve got a camera crew!
Andreas: Sometimes I wonder why mother didn’t drown you. It’s a cactus.
(too bad you didn’t see Ollie’s face after that one)
Ollie: A pink cactus?
Harald: Quit it, you two. We’ve got (n^4)-1 competitors, and twenty-four hours to get in front of them, which means, mathematically, if we start at the back, we’ll need to pass someone every thirty seven minutes. This is our second attempt at this, let’s try to finish.
Andreas: We know. You’ve told us three times this morning.
Ollie: I’m up, keys! puts his hand out.
Harald: I won the leaf-boat race in the gutter, so, I go first.

Part One… Noon - 4 PM

Harald was driving, thinking about existential crises, like who REALLY put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp… and who shot Lorraine? Maybe Lorraine was in fact, the deputy? By the time he’d finished the first stint, he’d moved on to the probability of those cat-people being actual cat-people. 300km of driving can do things like that to your mind. A driver change seemed like a BRILLIANT idea right now. Aside from typical pit-crew/driver chatter, it’d been relatively quiet from his perspective.


Part 2… 4PM - 8PM

Ollie: GO! Arnold, GO! (as Team Schrott flew past.)
Harald: “Arnold”? Who in the heck is “Arnold”?
Ollie: The Schwarzenburger. I’m naming them. “Dirty Harry” (points at the post-grads). I heard someone say Callahan over there. So…
Harald: Let me guess, the Schnell is now “ACHTUNG, Baby”.
Ollie: Thanks. I was stuck on that one… but, it just became U2, like the spy plane. Ooh! Here comes Andreas.
Andreas pulls in to the pits for a tank of go juice
Harald: Anything stupid happening with the car?
Andreas: That knock is still there at low throttle, and maybe check the steering fluid. But it’s behaving, for now. Some of those other drivers really should get lessons. You’d think there’d be at least a little bit of courtesy out there.

(in French accented English) One hour later…
Andreas: MOVE you, moron!
He decided the accelerator was a better pick than the brake, and… “tapped” the Régal.
Andreas: Umm, guys. I’m coming in.
Harry and Ollie on radio: What did you do?

For the rest of his stint, Andreas managed to keep out of trouble, unless you count the part where he forgot to keep off the barrier. He enjoyed watching everyone else play bumper-cars.

7:58PM - The car is in the pits for a driver change.
As Ollie straps himself in:
Andreas: Avoid the thing with the mohawk. I’m not sure they’re playing the same game as everyone else.
Harald: Three cars out in eight hours, and we’re in fourth. I work that out to be… 600 kays down, one thousand eight hundred to go, assuming we don’t lose pace.
Ollie: Enough nerding. I’ve got some driving to do. (A little clutch slip never hurt anyone, as he rolls away from the pits, royal waving at his brothers.)


Part 3… 8PM - 11:50PM
Ollie: Get out of the way, Mister Sweetchuck. Damned Vol… Saarland drivers. Let’s see what happens if I do… THIS!! (a failed attempt at passing the Saarland follows, as does a string of words in a selection of languages… he spent the morning in google translate.)
Another fuel stop at about 11:00, more steering fluid, then back out into the carnage…get it “Car”-nage. Ollie thinks he’s very funny. I happen to agree.

Andreas: Okie Dokie, artichokie. You sure you’re good to go back out? Your headache is gone?
Harald: I’m alright.
Ollie pulls in, drivers (and words) are exchanged. Mostly about Ollie’s driving.

Part 4… 12AM - 4AM
Harald was lapping the track in a very regular manner. Well controlled. Calm. Organised. Quite different to how most of the others had been. Bent panels, missing lights, spi-i-i-ining.
Harald: I know that car is the one to avoid. That little FM. That little MF. They can’t drive straight. No, they only drive straight, it’s the track that’s curved.


Harald: Round and around and around and around we go
Oh, now tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know
When the car finished it’s pirouette, Harald figured it would be smart to focus on driving.

By the time the driver change FINALLY rolled around, Harald had managed to climb back up to 3rd. A total of over 1200Km, and this thing was still running. He was starting to think about what would break off first. Those stupid plywood wings? Or the plastic rear spats?

Harald: It’s 4AM on a clear morning, there’s a beautiful glow on the horizon, like everyday for 6 months of the year. And, I’m over driving. Final tune for the early breakfast show is Billy Ocean’s “Get outta my dreams, get into my car”.
Harald pulls into his designated pit bay, Andreas helps him out and jumps in in his stead.
Andreas: Seriously, bro. That REEKS!

Team If It's Not Punk It's Junk
Finishing off the race

Alyssa hops out of the car in the middle of the night to find the Punk Not Junk paddock deserted “Bloody hell, where is everyone?” she asks to herself “Did they go to bed or something?” she wonders about for a couple of minutes before she bumps into Iggy coming the other way “Oi, where the hell have you been all this time, Iggy? And where are the others?”
“Ah, just hangin ou’ with some of the other eams, watching the race up in the stands. Los track of time and wot not. You know how it is, yeah?” Iggy cracks his neck “Anway, the other two hooligans popped inna town to grab some grub. Said they pick ya ou’ somethin as well. Ake it’s my turn in the car, is it?”
“Yeah, I suppose so, let’s get you strapped in.”

“Buggar all! Course the youngins would give me the car all knackered,” Iggy says to himself after only travelling through a couple of turns. The Cambridge bounces about on tyres that have gone more square than round, the lights seem to be pointing every which way rather than forward from crashes, and there’s a bit of a whine coming from somewhere out back. More alarmingly, the needle on the temp gauge is starting to point towards a dangerous part of the gauge. Iggy’s only able to get one or two quick laps out of the car before he is forced to take several slow laps to keep the engine from going thermonuclear. The upshot of this at least is it stops him from getting too crazy on track, turning (mostly) clean laps throughout his four hour stint. He rumbles into the pits in the early hours of the morning to find the whole crew waiting for him

“Good to see you’ve decided to rejoin us. How was it out there, old man?” Fern asks her father once he’s out of the car “Aye, it’s not oo bad. Bit a bugger to see, need to drive to the temp gauge. Otter than that it be bangin!” Iggy ruffles Fern’s hair, much to her distaste “Ight, let’s get this ol bird back out there, aye?” With everyone having down a stint, the band draws straws for the remaining two stints. Ox and Fern draw the short straws. Ox suits back up to take the sunrise hours. Wrung out and giddy from the excitement and lack of sleep, the drummer once again turns out laps that are a bit enthusiastic. Team Roque Traders once again nearly go oily side up due to the spinning Cambridge. Contact between the Schnell and Sandhurst an hour later can be traced back to Ox’s tail-out driving style.
But despite that the car comes back into the pits more or less intact just as the sun crests the horizon. After a quick going over of the car, Fern clambers in to finish off the race

Fern sets out in high hopes, giving it her all to bring the Wyvern to the finish. Just as she is getting her bearings on the flow of the race, the police car of Shift Happens roars up and rams her from behind. “Bloody hell!” she yells as the Cambridge gets air and is thrown into a slide
“Oi!” she yells out the window at the passing Bricksley, “Who taught you to drive! A monkey cou…” she trails off as she catches sight of the driver, looking all too much like some sort of bipedal tiger demon. She shakes her head and mutters to herself, “I think the lack of sleep must be getting to me…”
Shortly after, the Cambridge begins to start stalling out. Worried that the bump may have knocked something loose, she limps the car back into the pits. The band send several minutes poking about out the hood to identify the issue before Alyssa points to the fuel gauge “I think I found the problem,” she giggles “It’s out of petrol.” Fern palms her face before heading off to grab the jerry cans next to their van. A quick topping off and she roars back out for the last three hours.

Several laps go by uneventfully before Fern spots the Bricksley coming up from behind her again. Not looking to get into another paint trading fiasco, she swings wide through the turn to get them plenty of room. Unfortunately, with her attention on team Shift Happens, it’s not on where she’s heading. Spotting the guardrail ahead of her, Fern yanks the wheel to the left, throwing the car into a 360 degree spin. Tires screech as the Team Oxracers car spins to avoid the stalled out Cambridge, followed by the crunching of metal as others get mixed up in the chaos. The driver of the Seongu shouts something Fern can’t quite hear, but by the tone it’s certainly not a greeting
“Oi! Right back at you bloody wanker!” she replies flashing two fingers out the window before leaving the scene in a burst of tyre smoke. The minutes and laps tick by as the sun crawls up to it’s zenith. Fern starts to rock back and forth, willing the battered old coupe along. Finally the checkered flag drops. She shouts out with glee. That’s it, they bloody did it! Twenty four hours of racing and they finished. Fern pats that dash of the Cambridge, overcome with emotion. Waving to all the corner workers on the cooldown lap, she brings the car back into the pits for the last time

1 Like

Part 5 4AM - 8AM

Andreas had by far the worst sint this time around. He’d had to stop for a tank, during which Ollie managed to not only bring empty cans, but forget which side the filler was on.
Andreas: (muttering to himself as Ollie fumbles the cans) It’s not hard. Just fill it up so I can go.

Several dozen laps later, the goon in the Sing-song seemed to be trying to make his life hard. He closed the gap as the car in front shed waay to much speed for the corner.
Andreas: When I say whoa, I meeean WHOA!
He made the sign of the Cross, a Crescent, and even drew a Star of David in the air. Then he watched as the little car pulled away.
Andreas: Oh, come on!

A not-insignificant time later

Andreas: You stupid idiot in your glorified fish-tackle box! Friggin’, shit sticking out everywhere. That’s not even your own hair!
Andreas jumped on the brakes, clutch in, and threw the car back a gear, hand still on the shift lever ready to go back up. CRUNCH
Andreas: (turns his head as if the car behind can hear him) Not even going to buy me dinner first? (yells) Ich hoffe das tut weh

By the end of his session, he’d managed to not only keep the car running, but hold their position in the race. Sitting in the top 3. Looking good.

Part 6 8AM - 12PM

Ollie was doing reasonably well. Until he slipped a bit through a turn, hitting the barrier, and snapping the wing off the right quarter-panel, watching it bounce away in the mirror.
Ollie: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! WANG! COME BACK! Now I can only turn left.

He gripped the wheel and prepared for the next turn, almost failing to notice the WRK growing in front of him. Brakes! Too late. Straight into the back of the light truck, it’s tailgate and the Sandhurst’s bonnet deciding to play origami with each other.
Ollie: (on the radio) Hey, guys! Whats the biggest hammer we’ve got? I just butt-punched a rogue.
Harald: Andreas, grab the stuff. (into the radio) It’s still running? If you can finish this lap, we’ll be ready when you get here.

Will the Sandhurst continue to not “JUST DIE, YOU PIECE OF CRAP”? Will I write something up post-finish? Will any of you care? Find out when the final reuslt are posted.


Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Race: Ye im cramming everything

Considering these might get even less relevant for racing than what Elizi would be saying (this simply because Bricksley is still running and Val and Norse belong to team behind said car) typing this as precaution

Further daily plans

-We shall discuss situation
-Ok. At the moment, we have three confirmed cars at our disposal: two Daniloski KimiKups and this Saguaro.
KimiKups would be greater option for actual speed and are newer and more reliable, but fact that we are talking about what i recall as 2+2 coupe kinda doesnt sit well with me.
-Do we have any news on Andrea, Tatitza and Pi?
-Soon to enter 180+ so they are still 80+ away from now. Therefore i cant rely on them whatsoever.
-It does happen to be weird: you heard about some stuff maybe bcos its biggest known war you heard of and now…you are in that era.
-They started fair bit earlier tbh. And…i very much doubt they really take that much attention to time.
To get back on topic, i dont think their return would really benefit our troubles.
-So, does anyone want to comment anything?
-Ok, what would you like to comment?
-I feel you are doing that on purpose to piss me off…
-We should consider what everyone would like or want or even need to have as vehicle.
Some would be willing to put up with less space or would have will and knowledge to repair at side of road, while others would not.

-It prob becomes very good question of what would you be willing to give those two oldies to travel around.
-Oh, look who had relearned to say stuff other than “Yes”.
-It became too boring to try annoying you.
So out of three they would get…
-Stay at home. KimiKups are more reliable, but happen to be tricky to use thanks to manual. They look too nice to be scuffed, or given to two oldies that will park it wherever whenever and potentially bump something or someone along the ride
-Thanks to their power, they would be relatively easy to use on highway. Lack of relative space might not be that much of issue, seeing that both are used to tight spaces and are 1.5m long each
Also not hard to pack when you dont really have any personal belongings or tools.
-Might be too much power actually. They might need tad bit more offroad prowess from car, seeing that i can totally picture them parking in mud, grass, snow etc. or ofc deciding to tackle such conditions
Byt ye, lack of useful cargo space and rear doors would be an issue: im sure they would like to use rear bench for sleeping or storing immideately needed items.
-Saguaro is out of question as well for some other different reasons?
-Will be more useful to rest of us. Also we are yet to get to know it.
Such an old car likely would hold some nasty secrets that might leave us at side of road.

At this point, Mat’s dad had decided that he slept long enough and, as such, requested that van is ridden of its current inhabitants.
This meant waking up sleeping trio, which groggily exited the vehicle.

Upon their removal, dad had jumped straight into it after grabbing few sandwitches so he has something to eat.
This journey will be longer in duration, as he did planned to make few stops along the way.
This did meant that his former passengers would stay at track, tho.
But its not like their presence would be for nothing…

Driving ed

-Come in, dont be scared
-Im not scared, just eternally worried…where are we gonna do this anyway?
-Parking lot, perhaps? Besides, we are in middle of nowhere so i guess you can go wherever you like.
-How to achieve that, tho?
-You have two pedals down there: left is brake which means it slows car down and its eventually stopping it. Other is gas, which means that car goes faster.
This is gear lever, you use it to command in which direction you want car to be moving in. Ofc there are more intricate details to it but thats as much as you could understand and as much as you would need.
This round thing in front of you is steering wheel: turning it around also turns front wheels so you can actually steer car in direction you want.

Ofc rest of world can decide to throw some shade on Americans for their strong preference of automatic transmissions but you gotta give credit where its due: rather new drivers (although of very advanced age) and blessed with no technical knowledge of any kind are that much more easier to grasp basics of driving if there is no need to handle the clutch.
Yes, Saguaro is automatic. And yes, this would prob mean whatever Loojoe and Siviko actually get for their travelling around would also be automatic. But its going to be properly difficult of teaching old dog (and cat) new tricks.

Siviko had fared little bit better, prob due to fact he is much younger.
-I guess you will drive us around, son.
-Would be tiring to do that entirely on my own. You may be worse driver but would be better than tired me. Besides, both of us have right to enjoy the journey which would be difficult if you are constantly worried about not crashing into someone.
Klimentol: Its reccomended to make stops every few hours of driving anyway. But yes, both of things Siviko said are important.

BANG (Klimentol continues)

Uhhh…good thing we werent going fast…or crashed into something that belongs to fellow competitor.
Apart from fresh dent on Gromadon’s cover, no lasting damage was done.
You need to put that lever to here as you cant push that.
-Gromadon? Havent he stayed in pits?
-He havent hauled your asses to here…i did.
-Ummm no
-Wait who am i talking to
-Loojoe Senior Mravolinski Loojoephantom
-Oh, havent recalled you being in team. Aydar Senior here…or Gromadon IV if its to go by actual name.
Klimentol: We decided Gromadon refers to dad and Aydar refers to son to avoid confusion.
-Sorry for crashing into you, then. We are learning to drive.
-Why? Rest of us would be perfectly able to drive you around if needed…or well, carrying you around in my case.
Siviko: We would rather not bother with bringing you lot along. We plan on returning to travelling around, but this time using something other than our feet as neither got any younger.
-He might even get some pussy along the way.

Apart from Siviko, everyone else was very amused by that.

What? Its not like you are literally without a kitten to your name. I did what i could to prolong your bloodline, but cant make you a child.
You are last member of that cat family.
-Ye, but bringing that up every single time might be too much.
-Besides, im raised by a dog. No offence, but that could easily mean im not exactly best cat material.
-True…but you did gained many useful skills that most other cats never did and likely never would muster. Fact your upbringer wasnt another cat brings no importance here.
You are speaking human language. Granted, as far as i heard from Klimentol, not very common one but def human nonetheless.
Serbian was its name iirc?
-Yes. Besides, you do know how to provide for family…not to mention you are at this very moment trying to muster yet another skill.
-Its almost like you would like cat cousins.
-As a matter of fact, yes: you might be adopted into our dog family, but we look at you no different than at rest of us. Same would extend to your offspring…uncle.

Eventually, bantering was ended and more practice was put. Occassionally, attention would be brought to carnage on track which would really live up to its brief description.
Fair bit of driving brought fair amount of appetite, which required indeed a stop for big breakfast.
Aydar had took reigns of teacher afterwards, also covering some other basics like turning on headlights or starting/stopping car engine
Siviko accidentally learned how to use wipers.
Loojoe REALLY liked horn sound, bit too much perhaps.

But as time went on, both students felt more comfortable with this…“yeah, can totally imagine myself now driving around” kind of comfortable.
Real test will be in order tho.

One race: more than one winner

As of the moment of this writing, leaderboard was yet to be announced, mostly bcos getting some more interactions would be more interesting than just wrapping it up for this year.
But, despite what said leaderboard may say, there likely will be fair few guaranteed winners.

Team Mravolinski-Chitco is at very bottom of leaderboard, it was first to be out of race infact.
Still, such thing might have been blessing in dusguise as said team was able to relatively easily fix their car for its new life as daily driver.
Fair few others would not be so lucky: 24h Clunkers had once again proven to be destructive event, seeing one fire and one badly bent car to name just few others that arent likely to find much purpose for their retired machinery.

Then…there are hosts.
Member of team that oversaw 39 earlier editions sadly didnt made it for 40th edition, which both did and didnt matter.
Event ran as expected, being just as much of controlled chaos as always was.
Everyone had fair bit of fun and bantering between different teams and inside teams themselves was definitely big contributor to that.
Considering Trafikjournalen sent their best IPFanatic, Mr.Slow and ImNewAtThis in this race…they def fit said dynamic quite well.
What was, however, bad and sad stood in fact that few previous years havent been kind to them.
Yes, they havent made event to win themselves and yes, its kind of given that someone would fail but they did failed to finish up until the end.
Even if they themselves wouldnt celebrate much on bringing grannymobile to finish, Mat was beyond excited.

There is part of yet another team that might see this as an absolute win. However we shall wait on that winning part to be written
Another part of said team went through regular course of race: nothing to laugh about but also nothing particularly special about result.

Do we mention Oxracers here?
Ehhhh…i guess they are winners too in one way or another, by dominating the event from very beggining
But that makes them such an obvious winners that really leaves us with not much useful stuff to say.
Their rolls had paid off big time tho



  1. Team Oxracers / #41 Seongu (@AndiD ) - Lap # 1689
  2. Team Postgraduate Psychosis / #66 Callahan (@Texaslav ) - Lap # 1550
  3. Team If it’s not punk, it’s junk / #16 Cambridge (@Maverick74 ) - Lap # 1523
  4. Team Septic tank / #404 Sandhurst (@stm316 ) - Lap # 1502
  5. Team Prognosis Negative / #8 Régal (@karhgath ) - Lap # 1476
  6. Team Trafikjournalen / #23 Saarland (@Knugcab ) - Lap # 1475
  7. Team Shift Happens / #357 Bricksley (@Madrias / @Elizipeazie ) - Lap # 1384
  8. Team Desert Scavengers / #47 Union (@TheYugo45GV ) - Lap # 1372
  9. Team Shine Quartz / #98 Przenopewien (@Vento ) - Lap # 1263
  10. Team Rogue Traders / #722 WRK (@Fayeding_Spray ) - Lap # 1226 (DNF)
  11. Team Slow / #91 Schnell (@interior ) - Lap # 1048 (DNF)
  12. Team SCS / #69 FM (@Jaimz68 ) - Lap # 963 (DNF)
  13. Team Schrott Racing / #13 Schwarzburg (@Rudzis ) - Lap # 777 (DNF)
  14. Team Bubblegum / #113 Mons (@cake_ape ) - Lap # 386 (DNF)
  15. Team Spy Kids / #42 Rosewood (@SheikhMansour ) - Lap # 365 (DNF)
  16. Team Mravolinski-Chitco / #90 Saguaro (@MrdjaNikolen ) - Lap # 123 (DNF)

why does this not suprise me

Tbf it was noted as unreliable in TMCC21, previous challenge in which this car was featured…

It was lot of fun regardless, you should join us next year

Edit: Gonna wait for some post-race RP, then i will post next (and prob last) post of team.

Obviously, not even a pink and yellow childrens pool could save it


I was planning to this year but i ran out of time and motivation and tbh skill to make the car decent

unless yall wanted a matte black el camino with a chevy 350 in the running

That would likely fit well besides varied vehicle pool we had in running.

Next post shall feature explanation for certain thing i did to other car

(But this time for real, not willing to clutter thread further)

Despite being inactive towards the end of my race, I’m satisfied with my results

Team Oxracers, Ep. 18: Rolling around at the speed of sound… no more

Previous post

In his final stint behind the wheel, Lucas had taken it safe with about 100 laps ahead of the 2nd place car - except for a slight tangle with the Union born out of his inner desire to go fast nonetheless.

In the last minutes till the end of the race, the other Oxracers gathered excitedly behind the guardrail near the (curved) start/finish line, jumping up and down in anticipation, and checking the time every half a minute.

Eventually, the last minute was up and the four started cheering wildly as Lucas crossed the finish line in a very safe first place. Jane, Mary and Michael happily yelled compliments at each other, fell into each others’ arms and started dancing an improvised jig. Corazon meanwhile instead seemed to prefer to perform his unique style of celebrations for a wider audience - oblivious of the fact that not many were actually paying attention to him.

“I FEEL MY SHOWMANSHIP SKILL LEVEL ALREADY INCREASING!”, shouted Corazon at the other Oxracers during his exuberant victory celebrations.

“It doesn’t work that way, you know that?”, noted Michael, interrupting his own cheers and dance, but he wasn’t sure whether this was just a rhetorical question, remaining unheard by Corazon who was now wildly running about.

In his celebrations, Corazon turned to the next unwitting bystander […]. “YOU HAVE TO CONGRATULATE ME NOW BECAUSE I WON…!”, he shouted towards them, raising his arms once more.

Mary broke out in uncontrollable laughter once she saw that, while Michael and Jane facepalmed in unison as they were, for some reason, reminded of a certain Hamster’s victory celebration after winning a challenge in a Bowler Nemesis…

Everyone, feel free to pick up here if you feel like one of your characters may be the unwitting bystander. Whoever posts first, becomes canon. :wink: